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Hard Conversations on Masculinity Today | Matt Wilson · Real Life Theology Podcast

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Welcome back everyone to the Real Life Theology podcast. This podcast we get to
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feature some great content from our events and other network leaders. This
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episode features Matt Wilson talking at one of our prior Renew gatherings on
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having hard conversations on masculinity today. So I hope you guys enjoy this
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episode. I only got 15 minutes jumping jambalaya. Let's uh let's look at it like
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this. Sorry that was for somebody else. I need to know before I can get started if
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y'all ready. So when I ask this question I'm really speaking to the men in the
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room. When I say are you ready I need you to give me the best yeah you've got.
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Okay I don't care if it sounds like Ric Flair just don't sound like your mama.
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You ready? We'll try that again. You ready? Thank God. All right so I'm gonna jump
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straight into the fire with this. When do we get to a place where masculinity
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was a subject that required a trigger warning? See some of you are uneasy
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already. When did masculinity become a bad thing and affirming effeminate in
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men became a praise thing? Y'all just gonna sit in that one okay. We can spend
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a lot of time discussing how society has evolved and morality has been abandoned
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or how systemically we've enforced a zero tolerance for anything that
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incriminates the open practice of corruption while fostering safe spaces
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for lewd behavior. We can even engage in the matter of how media and advertising
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have propagated a narrative that praises biological confusion as heroic or even
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the fact that as I described the castration of masculinity in our culture
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my very wording is causing anxiety to rise in some present. That's not where
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I'm going. Because although there are a lot of hard topics that need to be had
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they'll be tough in our progressive circles there's some things we have to
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address in these circles first. Like how did the church start stripping
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masculinity away from the body? See I believe the church for the past hundred
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years has catered to a feminine culture. We can go back to the point where we can
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look at the Industrial Revolution and the mom-and-pop shops died off and
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people quit working on their own farms and land and and we had to go into the
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city to work and men went to work and that was their job. They did that during
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the day and when they came home they were tired. Dinner better be on the
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table and mom better take care of the kids. We got to a place to where men
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weren't required to go to church because they worked and the churches realized
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you know what we can cater to mom because she's gonna bring kids and she's
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got the checkbook that's going to decide where the tithe goes. Instead of
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going after dads, instead of going after men and saying we need them these are
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the warriors God gave us we slowly let them creep to the side. Then over time
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the war wars took place and the men went to war. Thank God for those men and the
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women went into the workforce and the kids were now being raised solely by the
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government in most situations. And so the masculine the masculine heroes that were
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in the men's life were off doing masculine valiant things but they
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weren't there to breathe into the young men and when they came back things just
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didn't go back to the way they were. So young men have been growing up in a
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society that's been dictated to them by what was politically correct instead of
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what was instilled by God and the people of God. See we've got preachers who would
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rather complain about men. We'll get them in church on Father's Day and then we'll
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kick them in the teeth and tell them how horrible job they're doing and then
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wonder why they don't come back the next week. We don't go after them, we
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don't chase them, we just get to a place to where it's a lot easier because
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realistically if we were today preachers if we would go out and start encouraging
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men and seeking men and chasing down dads and seeing the warriors God had for
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the church we'd probably be scared of our job security because some of them
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may do some of the stuff we do better than we do. And maybe instead of us
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sitting back and complaining about the younger generations of men we should
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start equipping the men and giving opportunities to young men to grow up in
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the church and serve side-by-side. Maybe we should stop looking at how society is
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going to put us into a politically correct bubble and get to a place to
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where we can say you know what we've never been politically correct. Jesus
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didn't come to make us politically correct, he came to make us spiritually
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correct. And the questions we start facing are direct contradictions to God
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and his creation. How was man created? In the image of God. As a representation of
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his image in everything we do and say and how we conduct and carry ourselves.
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So pastors and leaders let me read to you 1st Corinthians 16 verse 13. Be on
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your guard. Against what? Stand firm in your faith. Be on your guard about things
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that are going to come against your faith. Be courageous. And if you translate
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this directly it doesn't just say be courageous it says be men of courage. Be
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men. That's one of the things I see in the Bible a lot from God. Be a man. Gird
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your loins. Be a man. And yet we can't say that today. Don't you dare say be a man.
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That might trigger somebody. But God does it all the time. Get up. Be a man. Be men
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of courage. Be strong. Okay say that. Oh don't offend somebody. It's not
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about how much you can bench press. It's about be strong. You are carrying the
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reputation of God. But do everything in love. See that's the hard part man. Jim
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talked about it a little bit. It's kind of like in that whole point of is it
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relational or is it gospel. It's got to be both. Is it that whole thing we're
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bringing truth and we're bringing love. The whole thing is you're constantly in a
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battle and you've got to constantly wage in this war. Am I bringing truth and am I
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loving. It's easy for me to stand on one side of God's Word and just disagree
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with the world and preach out of anger. But the other side of me has to love
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those that are in sin. I've got to understand them. See the thing is I'm not
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speaking truth to my enemies. I'm speaking truth to captives that need to
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be set free. There's nothing more masculine I can think of ever since
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watching Rambo second blood.
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Everybody's up in arms about transgenderism. A hundred years ago we
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started fighting in our school systems in our societies to accept the theory of
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evolution. Well a hundred years of teaching theory as fact has made it
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possible for us to celebrate confusion and teach it as fact as well. Because we
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quit standing on the Word of God. Those things weren't important enough in the
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church for us to stand on creation anymore. Deuteronomy 22 5 was a
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scripture I think is key to us in masculinity understanding today. Verse
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5 a woman must not wear men's clothing nor a man wear women's clothing. Before
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anybody gets offended in this this is from God not me. And it's something that
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it doesn't matter how much we're offended it's still there. For the Lord
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your God detests anyone who does this. It's really easy to sit in one place and
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sit there and say well I just hate anybody that would dress like that. But
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can I share something with you? I know churches they won't let a woman wear a
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pair of jeans or slacks because that verse right there. They didn't have jeans
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and slacks back then. Matter of fact the men were wearing the equivalent of a
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skirt. I'm not against kilts. What this scripture is about is the intention the
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intention behind what we're doing. It's not about if a woman's wearing a pair of
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pants it's if a woman's trying to look like a man and her intention is to look
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like a man. It's about taking the image and the creation of God and mutating it
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into something that culture is celebrating us for doing. It's easy for
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us to forget that sin never starts out blatantly but it starts out small. James
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chapter 1 verse 14 it's from there it says but each person is tempted when
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they are dragged away by their own evil desire. We don't like those words and
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we're enticed. Society entices and it preys on our desires. Desires are natural
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to us. They're there it doesn't mean that they're good because they're natural.
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Then after desire is conceived I've got seven kids I know a little something
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about conception. It gives birth to sin. So here's the thing it gives birth to
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sin and sin when it's full-grown gives birth to death. Don't be deceived my
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dear brothers and sisters see our problem is we're waiting till we can
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pinpoint that it's sin instead of looking at where the conceptions
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happening. We get to a place to where oh when it's bad we'll address it but this
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we can't say it's sin yet. Let me ask you when is adultery adultery married man
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when your wife's in a bed with another man completing the action or when she
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starts flirting with him? Ladies when is adultery adultery? When your husband's
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paying by the hour for a hotel down the street or when he's flirting with his
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secretary or that lady at the coffee shop. It's when temptation starts. So the
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Bible's clear on these things we just translate a little bit differently for
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people today. First Corinthians chapter 6 verse 9. Do you not know that wrongdoers
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will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Now some of you guys
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right now say he's fixing to hit homosexuality here he goes let me get on
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this bandwagon. Hold on. Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor
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adulterers nor men who have sex with men. Let's just stop for a second. We could
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take time and go through two translations of this but I'm going to
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focus on one Greek word here malakoi. I'm probably not saying that right but I'm
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from Horry County South Carolina. I haven't said most of my words right. This
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word would literally translate to soft ones or even better this is going to
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probably get you a little bit effeminate. You saying it's a sin to be
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effeminate? I'm saying intentional. Intentionally becoming effeminate. That
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point God created you to be masculine. I don't care how much society doesn't like
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that we cannot change the image of God. We can't change the biology of God. We
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can't change the spirit of God and look at how God spoke to his people
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challenged his people demanded his people to be masculine. I'm not saying
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that means once again that you got to have a longer beard than me that you
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got to smell like chainsaw grease every time you go out that you got to spend
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three months a year in the woods surviving off of nothing but your bare
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hands and grizzly sweat. What I am saying is you were designed to be a warrior
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that defends and protects. It's the intentional it's the intentional
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effeminate behavior that leads because once we start flirting with it here the
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world will celebrate it and once we start identifying that in people and we
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just passively let it go it's going to breed it's going to multiply it's like
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yeast it will spread they will go further and it's important to notice
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that he calls out this blatant femininity and he calls to this point of
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repentance from he says nor thieves nor greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor
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swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God now we're all okay with that being
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homosexuals in the midst of those sins but not effeminate not weak not soft and
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this is what some of you check this point out were this is what some of you
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were but you were washed you were sanctified you were justified in the name
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of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God I'm running out of
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time right now so I'm gonna have to move through this quickly here's why this is
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so offensive if you go down to verse 18 you start to realize it's not your body
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it's not your choice if you're a Christian you are to flee from sexual
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immorality all other sin commits outside of the body but whoever sins sexually
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sins against their own body well it's my body right no do you not know that your
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bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have received
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from God you are not your own oh I don't like that sorry if you're a part of
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Christ family you don't belong to yourself you were bought at a price
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therefore honor God with your bodies it's his temple so the thing that we've
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got to come to is how did we allow this to happen in our culture to where our
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churches became weak to where our churches you know what the greatest
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offense is we have churches preaching against masculinity because that's a
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political motivator we have men whenever you can take one group and turn it
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against itself so that they'll start attacking for platform you've got a
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problem and in this a lot of that's our fault because instead of before when we
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could look at young men that were growing up and maybe there was a risk or
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a danger in their life instead of getting involved and saying how do I
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come alongside that young man and show him the warrior he's meant to be to show
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him how he can be somebody in God's kingdom he doesn't have to compromise
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and give himself over to the world we sat back and said stuff like this see
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that boy right there he's gonna be gay you just wait and see you wait and see
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Wow why wait and see getting me you're seeing a red flag get involved now oh
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you see he's got too much sugar in his sweet tree those comments didn't help
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nobody sending joking and talking about little little slide remarks about people
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and stuff you're just sitting there that's no different than saying that
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person's shooting heroin watch they're gonna be an addict jump in front of it
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stop invest get involved don't just preach from the podium don't just speak
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on the church about what we need to do get involved with young people bring
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them into the church equip them why do you think progressive circles have been
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so well they've done so well the past few years of recruiting our young people
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because the church refuses to touch and we stick them in youth group in the back
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we give him a Sunday night every now and then we give him a microphone when the
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least amount of people are going to be there so that we don't chase our givers
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away and they're the greatest most active group like David when he's young
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fighting Giants like Josiah is a young king the men God would call up was in
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their youth and in their prime but for us we're like no we can't do that we'll
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just if we got a young man want to serve God we'll make him a youth pastor how
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old does he have to be to be a deacon how old does an elder have to be yeah
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think about that one it means bearded one is that the limit or can we identify
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the Spirit of God is working in someone and trying to become something in their
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life and instead of us sitting there putting them off to the side maybe we
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should start breathing them now and say well they're not ready then get them
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ready the world will they'll give them a platform they'll give them a parade
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they'll give them something they can march for they'll give them a voice and
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they'll go to that foot they'll go to that world and use their voice for it
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why because they trust them the church says Beckham says no that's okay you
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keep clapping I'll let you go we need it right now I want to share with you as I
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run out of time thank you for the extra time Jason just because a person may not
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have the same hobbies and may not look and act the way men did in your day
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doesn't mean they can't be masculine the only man in the Old Testament that God
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said he put his spirit in was named Bislel you know what he did for the
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temple he was an interior decorator Esau was the most masculine he was the
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hunter he was the the strong one the hairy one yet his brother Jacob the
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cook at the mama's boy is the one God chose what about David and Solomon these
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guys who love poetry and music and dancing and art and gardening yet they
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slayed Giants and built temples and changed the world doesn't mean if you
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like baking you're not masculine let's not get confused masculinity what is
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that in a nutshell I'm gonna show you guys some images it's like a tiger you
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can take a tiger you can throw it in a cage and you can slowly watch its spirit
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break as it passes back and forth remembering what life was you can take a
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tiger and you can leave it in a cage and slowly over time you identify that that
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tiger even if he's born in captivity he knows something else is out there but
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the smart zoos realize if we can raise a bunch of them up together and stick
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bottles in their mouth we'll just create some tame little Tigers that parade his
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pets then you get Tiger King but I'm gonna share with you something for me
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see masculinity doesn't mean that I'm more culturally manly than other people
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it means that I understand there's truth and I'll give my life for that truth I
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don't have to scare people when I walk in the room because I'm intimidating
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but I should be so intimidating that if anybody walks in that room and
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threatens those in there they think twice if I'm there it should be to the
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point to where people feel safe and they have someone to look up to not because
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I'm taller than them but because I'm gonna live a life that's gonna be
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inspiring to truth and to God's love and I won't compromise on what's right
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masculinity is standing by the God who stood by us in our weakness masculinity
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is being a protector it's like a wild boar a wild boar is hairy and tusked and
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to the rest of the world it looks nasty all right so what did we do over
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hundreds of years we we bred him and bred him until we came up with these
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fat dad-bought pink piggies they're good for nothing but producing bacon and
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tenderloins and some pork chops which we're thankful for
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that's not what God designed and that's not what he called us to be man is there
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hope yes there's hope and it has to start inside the church release that
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pink pig into the wild within 30 days he becomes what's called a feral pig he
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starts to grow hair again he starts to grow tusks again he starts to become
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strong again you know you calling us pigs the world has for years get used to
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but here's what I'm trying to say churches we've got a role and
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responsibility instead of letting the world acquire our young people and suck
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them into their agendas and give them a platform the church has to be the
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platform to equip warriors to raise up you have to give them opportunities man
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if they can lead worship let them lead worship if they could do devotions let
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them do devotions then come on if you're worried about what they're gonna teach
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then get them in this bring them here sit and disciple them teach them invest
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in them work with them breathe into them but raise up warriors if they
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replace you that's the job we want to be replaced God is God he will provide for
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his men don't worry about job security we're not here forever I know I'm past
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time I gotta say this one last thing churches it's not hard it's not hard to
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look out at young men and see their potential you want to stop where people
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are complaining about the inappropriate relationships between ministers and
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priests and all the fallout we're seeing across denominationalism and let's start
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by getting dad back in the picture let's start by looking at men that never had a
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father figure and bringing our arm around them let's start by taking young
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men into the church you ain't got to be alone with them to equip them to be
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something mighty but let's remember they are meant to be mighty they're not
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someone who's not capable they're not someone who's weak there's someone who
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was designed to be strong and their abilities the way God designed them we
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have to come alongside each and every one of them so maybe someone acts a
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little feminine and come alongside of him and teach him how to be a man of God
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maybe someone has been caught up in the culture of this world instead of saying
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they're lost maybe realize that we were called to fight the gates of hell and
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they're not in the flames yet but they'll reach people that we don't even
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understand how to we need them we need men we need masculine men we need men in
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the image of God father God we come to you and God we come repentant because
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you have done your job you have done your part we have no right to ever sit
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back and say we're waiting father you've been waiting on us to fulfill your
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Commission for a long time so father we repent and we ask you father forgive us
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for our complacency and our our self-protection and God even the times
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where we're arrogant and we would rather be rude to culture instead of to
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get into the trenches and combat the culture father give us the courage to
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stand on truth your love and to protect the glory of your image and your
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reputation for generations father we thank you and we praise you
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thank you guys for tuning in to this episode on the real life theologic
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podcast stay tuned to this podcast for more great content down the road