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Do You Belong? Finding Your Place in Zouk (S05 Ep79) · ZoukNerds • Learn | Build | Belong

0:00
Well, do you belong in Brazilian Zook?
0:03
Do you belong in this community? Am I good enough?
0:06
Am I in the right place? I felt the speaking security of
0:11
whether or not I could be a part of the Brazilian Zook universe,
0:16
so I wondered whether or not it should be there.
0:18
For a community to grow and flourish and be happy, alive,
0:22
sustainable, we need to focus on the dance as a hobby, as a place
0:26
of decompression. If you're smiling, your partner
0:29
is smiling. You're an amazing dancer.
0:31
And the sad thing is, it's not that the dance doesn't work
0:34
anymore. It's more like how we're dancing
0:35
the dance or how we're putting together the environment where
0:38
we're going to learn the dance. If you're the kind of person who
0:41
prefers to dance a little slower and to more chill music, more
0:46
connected dances, there is a market for that.
0:49
There's a lot of people who are craving for that.
0:51
So it would be nice if we start offering more variety of vibes
0:56
for people to choose. Sometimes I realized that the
1:01
impulse to go to the social or to participate in the event
1:04
comes from the following. Oh my God, it's an opportunity.
1:07
Happens once a year. Let's go.
1:09
And then I get there and realize, no, I should have
1:13
stayed home and watching TV or playing Mario Kart.
1:18
Do you ever feel like you don't fit into the zoo community?
1:23
What if the cool social media version of the dance isn't the
1:27
only way to belong? And how can creating your own
1:32
little world help you find authentic joy in Zook again?
1:37
Well, let's find out. Hello.
1:40
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Zook Nerds.
1:43
In this episode, Guy and I talk about finding your own place in
1:48
the Brazilian Zook community. We share our own struggles with
1:52
feeling different and why you don't have to follow the
1:55
mainstream crowd to be a real Zook dancer.
2:00
Let's explore how to build your own environment, avoid burnout,
2:05
and stay connected to the dance in a way that feels true to your
2:09
heart. So let's go.
2:20
Hello, hello everyone, My name is Alison Sanji and let's
2:23
welcome back our beautiful Co host GI Prada.
2:26
Hello, GI. Hello, Alison.
2:29
Hello, everybody. Welcome back.
2:31
And in this episode, we're going to be talking about something
2:36
that we feel deeply in our hearts.
2:38
It's something that we've been through personally and
2:42
professionally. Well, do you belong in Brazilian
2:47
Zook? Do you belong in this community?
2:49
I use somebody who naturally feels like you're part of it and
2:53
everything aligns with your heart, aligns with how your
2:58
brain works and your personality.
3:01
Well, let's discuss because Guy and I have had our doubts over
3:05
the years and we talked to a lot of people, a lot of people over
3:11
the years too that have come to us and questioned themselves.
3:16
I don't know if this is for me. I love the dance.
3:19
I really, really love the dance. I love learning it.
3:24
I love experiencing it. Or even if you are in a teaching
3:28
position, they love teaching it. But the community, that is where
3:35
it lies. And if I can just share a little
3:38
bit about my situation before Guy goes on to his mine was very
3:45
simple. Well, you know the name of this
3:48
podcast, Zuck nerd. So I come from a generation of
3:53
very high skilled, talented natural dancers.
3:59
So when I started teaching and travelling, seeing myself next
4:04
to this beautiful alien stars, I question myself a lot because
4:12
I'm like, I'm not like them. I don't teach like them, I don't
4:17
talk like them, I don't party like them.
4:21
Am I good enough? Am I in the right place?
4:25
Do they even take me seriously? But in the summary, I learned
4:30
that over the years, as people came to me and my partner at the
4:35
time, Audrey is out here, they would tell us that they loved
4:40
our classes. They loved how different it was,
4:43
the type of information that we gave them, the way we broke
4:47
things down, and that for some of them, we were their favorite
4:53
teachers. So it's tough.
4:57
And like we mentioned before, sometimes we're looking for
4:59
validations in the wrong place. But we did like that was the
5:05
validation that we needed to feel like, you know what, yes,
5:08
we're different, but there is a place for all of us.
5:11
And that's what we want to discuss here because we do
5:14
believe that even though you may not be fitting perfectly in the
5:19
mainstream that you see in Brazilian Zook on how majority
5:24
of people does this thing, there is a place for all of us.
5:29
And the path may not be as easy or clear as some of the other
5:33
parts, but stay strong and go heading and go deep into
5:40
whatever path that you're in. How was that experience for
5:44
Yugi? Have you felt some type of way
5:47
like I did? Yeah, for sure.
5:49
In the beginning especially, I felt the speaking security of
5:55
whether or not I could be a part of the Brazilian Zook universe,
6:01
given what I was seeing in the social media, in YouTube.
6:06
And what I was hearing was the expected behaviour of a dance
6:11
teacher or how they dress or how they look like.
6:14
I realized especially when I started because I was fresh from
6:19
Brazil, fresh from my Muggle life, so I still had a bunch of
6:24
polo shirts, a bunch of button shirts, a lot of Tommy Hilfiger
6:29
polo shirts. And I was coming out to teach
6:32
with his clothes and I would see the Zook teachers dressing so
6:36
nicely and so cool. And I had none of these things.
6:39
So I wondered whether or not I should be there, you know, and I
6:45
think about the people had expressed to me a couple
6:49
different things. There is one group that I know
6:53
that started dancing. 2018 19171819 Feel this discomfort
7:01
and dis doubt whether or not they belong anymore on the
7:06
Brazilian Zook scene. And there's another which is my
7:11
first presidential instructor who had a really hard time
7:15
adapting to the Brazilian Zook world and how it is today in
7:20
everything, in every aspect. How we dance, the dance, the
7:23
songs, we dance to the environment.
7:26
So she basically doesn't do it almost anymore, you know, So she
7:30
aims to the conclusion that she doesn't belong anymore, you
7:33
know? And one thing that I realized I
7:37
was very lucky and possibly a big topic in our conversation is
7:42
your ability to create your own section of the Brazilian Zook
7:46
universe where you can live on, where you can inhabit
7:52
peacefully. And for me specifically was
7:57
teaching at the local community, teaching in Washington DC,
8:00
having my regular classes, the local socials and that daily
8:06
connection with the students and the daily connection with the
8:10
dance in this more basic sense that you're teaching somebody
8:16
how to dance from scratch. And then you follow the journey
8:20
of that person social dancing also from scratch.
8:23
And with that idea, you are able to be and create an environment
8:27
that is not so influenced by what is considered cool or what
8:31
is the latest thing going on. There's some more chill
8:35
environment, let's say, and the local socials are more calm as
8:38
well. They end earlier.
8:41
I was able to put myself in a place that I was very
8:45
comfortable, felt really good, and they would nurture me.
8:49
So when I go into the more mainstream events, the big
8:52
Congress is the big events where there's a lot going on and
8:56
people are on hyperdrive. I think if I would be only
9:00
attending these environments if my experience of Brazilian Zook
9:04
was limited to the weekend events as a dancer, not saying
9:08
as a teacher, but as a dancer, I don't know if I would be able to
9:13
stay very long, especially coming from other forms of
9:17
partner dancing where the social dancing aspect is more chill.
9:22
It starts earlier, it ends earlier, so you're home earlier.
9:26
The whole vibe is very different.
9:29
So I think both as a teacher and as a social dancer, having this
9:33
nurturing aspect of the local community where it's smaller and
9:39
more chill, I'm able to find this piece that yes, I belong in
9:44
this thing. I belong in this dance.
9:47
I can practice this dance with joy because there is variety.
9:51
There's variety of environments that I can enjoy, and a variety
9:55
of environments is another perk, and it's another beneficial
9:59
thing that we can take advantage of in Brazilian Zook.
10:04
If you didn't have the experiences you had in Brazil
10:07
before you had your experiences in North America or outside of
10:11
Brazil, do you think that you would have enough confidence to
10:18
still be part of it and feel like you belong based on what
10:22
you've seen only outside of Brazil?
10:25
Difficult question. Wow, I really don't know man.
10:28
I'm asking this because in all of our conversations, we always
10:31
go back to referencing that we did this in Brazil, so we know
10:37
it works. So we stay confident by bringing
10:40
this outside even though it's not mainstream.
10:43
So without having that, do you think you would still be here
10:48
today? Very difficult question because
10:51
I think without that reference point, I wouldn't have been able
10:54
to be a local teacher in the way that I've become a local teacher
10:59
because when I was teaching, I was basically borrowing from the
11:04
references I had from my teachers and that experience.
11:08
So I was just using that as inspiration.
11:12
If I didn't have that as inspiration, if I didn't have
11:15
that material, I have no idea what would be the outcome.
11:20
I don't know if I would have been able to stay very long.
11:23
Maybe yes, but maybe with a different quality, maybe, I
11:26
don't know. What do you think if it was for
11:29
you? Like not having the, it's very
11:31
hard to separate that experience from us then from what happens
11:36
today. But if you can make it that
11:38
separation, what do you think would be for you?
11:40
I think it would be very, very different because I started my
11:46
career outside of Brazil, in Australia, in Perth, in a city
11:52
that is not huge. So it's one of the smallest
11:55
cities in Australia, but it does have a good community of
12:00
dancers. But I think the mindset that
12:04
runs outside of Brazil versus the mindset that runs in Brazil
12:09
is quite different. In Brazil, most people dance
12:13
because it's healthy, because it's fun.
12:15
They don't take things too seriously, OK, outside of the
12:20
score. People in Sao Paulo who are
12:22
like, going like crazy. We're talking about in broader
12:25
terms, on your local dance school in a smaller city
12:29
somewhere in Brazil, most people dance because they want to meet
12:33
friends. It's kind of like going to a
12:36
bar, having a drink and eating some pizza.
12:40
Really. The dance school feels that
12:42
relaxed and that chill and that fun and you get good.
12:47
You get really good at dancing, but it takes time, takes a lot
12:51
of time. Where is the mindset that I feel
12:55
outside of Brazil is more like dance is a subject to be
13:01
studied, so it's kind of like a certification program instead of
13:06
the dance being a dance, just a hobby or something that you do
13:12
for fun. I'm here to defend both because
13:15
I love the academic students. I am one myself.
13:19
But at the same time, I understand that for a community
13:22
to grow and flourish and be happy, alive, sustainable, we
13:27
need to focus on the dance as a hobby, as a place of
13:31
decompression, a place where people can really detach
13:36
themselves from the struggles of life.
13:39
So I'm here to defend both because I think that both are
13:42
very important. But to answer your question, I
13:45
think that my view of the community would be very
13:50
different because I would have seen the community as students
13:55
more than seeing the community as people who are trying to run
14:00
away or detach themselves from their normal life.
14:05
Does that make sense? Yeah, your view over the person
14:08
in front of you taking class will be different.
14:10
Yeah, yeah. When I'm in certain places in
14:13
the world, I love the students that comes to training and that
14:19
takes those intensives that are very, very dedicated.
14:24
I love them. That's me.
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But I don't see that as the way to make this community grow and
14:31
be as big as other than styles. I think that's kind of like the
14:36
issue that I would have run into if I didn't have the references
14:40
back from Brazil because my school was this schooling in a
14:46
small town in Sao Paulo that the 100% focus of the school is make
14:52
people smile. My teacher always said if you're
14:56
smiling, your partner is smiling.
14:58
You're an amazing dancer. That was the goal.
15:02
That was like the thing written on the wall of the school.
15:06
So much so that for most of my early years in dance, my
15:11
technique, level of dance and understanding was very shallow.
15:17
I was not a highly trained dancer by any means, but I was a
15:23
fun and comfortable social dancer because that was the
15:26
focus. So whenever I was teaching, I
15:29
was always referring back to my teachers back in Brazil instead
15:33
of the local teachers. I would get the structure that
15:36
the local teachers back in Perth had, the way that they organize
15:41
things and plan things, which for me it was like, wow, we can
15:45
do that in dance, yay, because my brain works like that.
15:49
But the quality of dancing, the atmosphere, the energy I'll take
15:54
from Brazil. So for me, it was always a dance
15:59
to balance those two. OK, let's get what's good from
16:04
the local community and let's get what's good from the
16:08
community that I had back in Brazil, and let's create
16:11
something unique here. Yeah, I think these creation of
16:16
an environment is perhaps the key point here because when we
16:22
ask the question, do you belong in Brazilian Zook?
16:25
At least when I think about this question, I think about recent
16:29
experience that I have been having teaching not only in
16:31
Brazil but also teaching here in Australia, teaching the West.
16:34
Before I left for the travelling is meeting some people that
16:39
really like the dance that started dancing but haven't been
16:42
dancing for like a year, six months or two years.
16:44
Because the environment in which they find the dance is not the
16:48
environment that they resonate fully with.
16:51
So there is so follow. There was this follower that she
16:55
told me she hasn't been dancing presidents look in two years.
16:58
And she came for an event, the name of the event that I thought
17:01
there was the keys for comfort. Yeah.
17:04
I challenged the comfort, which was a workshop where we break
17:07
down what are the elements to create a comfortable dance.
17:11
And we still did the basics. We still did a bunch of the
17:13
basic structures, using them as baseline and focusing on how can
17:18
we make this feel good, how can we make this comfortable for the
17:20
body. And she was one of the people
17:22
there were there. And having been to others, look,
17:25
events in the wild haven't been to the socials.
17:28
They haven't been really away from it.
17:30
And there were also a couple of teachers, two or three teachers
17:34
in the events who were also more toned down in how much they go
17:39
to the events, how much they go to the socials, especially the
17:43
followers, right? Actually, they were all
17:44
followers, to be honest. They were all followers, not
17:47
resonating anymore with the environment and thinking maybe,
17:50
maybe the dance is over. For me, it was good when I
17:53
started, but right now it doesn't work very much anymore.
17:56
And the sad thing is, it's not that the dance doesn't work
17:59
anymore. It's more like how we are
18:01
dancing the dance and how are we putting together the place where
18:06
we're going to dance the dance perhaps, or how we're putting
18:08
together the environment where we're going to learn the dance.
18:11
And it all comes out to variety for me.
18:14
There is a way to keep this in the dance.
18:17
Yes, we all belong in this dance.
18:19
But the sensation or the idea that we don't belong might be
18:23
because we haven't yet found a place where I can dance the
18:27
dance in a way that feels good for me, the way that feels good
18:30
for my body, for my sleep cycle, my diet, you know all of it.
18:36
And I know some organizers, some people who are trying to create
18:41
different environments for people to still enjoy Rezian Zuk
18:46
and share here in the podcast that these environments, they do
18:49
exist. They're not very easy to find
18:53
because it's one person here and there doing something different.
18:56
But there might be environments where we can still dance the
19:00
dance in a more calm way. Then there is space for
19:04
everything and encouraging people who want to create a
19:08
different environment to the dance to try.
19:12
I think the biggest thing, I don't know if going to agree
19:14
with me on that, is how late the socials are.
19:17
And then when we say, oh, so then make an earlier social and
19:22
then people say, oh, we tried that, nobody came.
19:25
And I say, how many times did you try two or three?
19:29
So I think there must be some level of consistency of offering
19:35
this new environment until people catch, until people start
19:40
getting used to it. Because I think as much as
19:43
people want a different way, they are kind of like
19:48
psychologically connected to the other way almost in autopilot.
19:54
So it will take a little bit for them to get used to the new
19:58
ways. I have friends.
20:00
I have friends that had a really hard time conceiving the idea of
20:05
a Brazilian Zook social being early for them.
20:08
Brazilian Zook social is in the night and it's late.
20:13
And then over time, I've watched them get used to the idea,
20:17
liking the idea and then eventually preferring the idea.
20:20
So it just sticks time because there is this image of how it
20:23
should be. And I think when somebody say I
20:26
don't know if I belong in this dance is the idea of how the
20:29
dance should be that is now created in their heads is such
20:33
that it's not aligned with how they want it to be.
20:38
Don't know if that makes sense. And so it's creating these new
20:41
environments is offering these new opportunities.
20:44
You know, I heard there is a class that before the class
20:47
people see to have a conversation, drink some tea,
20:50
you know, create a bonding there without movement and then go for
20:54
the dance. Super cool idea.
20:56
Very, very nice. You know, here in Sydney, the
20:59
class is over by 838 thirty. Oh, class is gone, class is
21:05
done. Let's go home.
21:07
There are ways. This is something that we can
21:10
create in our community. Like he was mentioning, some
21:14
people have a meet up before the class, other communities, they
21:20
have a meet up after the class. It's something that we can
21:23
create. We don't have to think like
21:25
classes have to go all night, otherwise I'm not creating this
21:30
environment or you don't have to think that as a student, you
21:34
have to be in every single class and you have to be in every
21:38
single social. Create your own little world.
21:42
I think everybody belongs. Yes, this may be contradicting
21:47
to some of the episodes we've done before when asking you to
21:50
take all the classes and do all the socials and dance as much as
21:54
you can. But here's the thing.
21:56
We are trying to talk to everybody here.
22:00
We're trying to talk to the people who want to achieve the
22:03
highest level in their dance, and today we're trying to talk
22:06
to the people who want to be part of the community, but they
22:11
want to do it their own way, in their own pace, with their own
22:15
flavors, because there is a space for that.
22:20
If you're the kind of person who prefers to dance a little slower
22:24
and to more chill music, and you don't want to learn all the
22:30
crazy movements, you just want to have simpler, more connected
22:34
dances, there is a market for that.
22:37
There's a lot of people who are craving for that.
22:40
And even though that's not the mainstream, I think this is one
22:44
of the beautiful things of Brazilian Zook.
22:46
There is a huge variety of songs and music styles that we can
22:52
dance to, a huge variety of dance flavors, structural
22:58
flavors, musical flavors that you can explore by following or
23:03
learning from different teachers.
23:06
So there's so much because in the end of the day, Brazilian
23:10
Zook is an amalgamation of multiple styles.
23:14
We say this over and over again, Brazilian Zook is like this
23:20
dance that was created or evolved by fusing many styles
23:26
together. So it wasn't something that was
23:28
just born on the streets like lambada was, or faja salsa.
23:33
Some of these styles that were very much something that you
23:36
dance at home with your family and you don't go to a dance
23:40
class. It's not like one of those
23:42
dances, which is one of the difficult sides of it, because
23:47
the dance is more complex than those dances that were from the
23:51
streets. But at the same time, it gives
23:54
us more flexibility. It gives us more ways to choose
23:59
how we express it, how we experience it, which I think is
24:04
a key factor. You can choose how you
24:07
experience this community. You don't have to just fit the
24:11
mold, follow the crowd and do what everybody does.
24:15
We've seen time and time again people get burned out by
24:19
following the crowd and just by doing what everybody does
24:22
because they fear missing out. They fear missing out on all of
24:28
the things because everybody's doing.
24:31
Guys, be careful. In our experience, that's a very
24:36
speedy, quick way to kill your passion and make you leave the
24:41
community. Yes, it is indeed.
24:44
So one of the invitations that I make for everybody is to expand
24:49
the horizons, Go explore, go explore all the different
24:54
offerings that this dance has, all the different events
24:57
possibilities that this dance has.
24:59
You have the retreats, the weekenders, the festivals and
25:02
the congresses. And you can also, I don't know,
25:05
visit a different local community and see how they do
25:08
things. You might be really surprised by
25:11
how amazing people are and how cozy it is.
25:16
And you can sometimes think to yourself, well, I think I will
25:19
stay here. I think I'll be very happy just
25:21
here, just right here. Like when I went to Taipei, when
25:25
I went to Taipei for the first time and I saw the community, I
25:27
was like, Oh my God, you. I can very easily just set camp
25:31
right here and do nothing more because all my needs are matched
25:37
right here. All I need is right here.
25:40
Everything you know. Be careful, you're going to make
25:44
other people jealous. I was going to say same in DC,
25:48
you know, I did that nest set camp there.
25:51
You know, I can stay there all super happy, super enjoy life.
25:56
We have the ecosystem balanced everything works super nicely
26:01
there not say that discretions are perfect.
26:04
We are always imperfections. There are always things that get
26:08
in the way of, you know, complete and ultimate flow of
26:12
life, but are places that resonate with me and some other
26:18
people come and they go, they didn't resonate with them, they
26:22
go somewhere else. So finding the place that
26:26
resonates with you, the modality that resonates with you is
26:29
important. For example, in the high season
26:35
in Brazil, December, January, February, what do we have there?
26:39
Mostly we have is festivals back-to-back.
26:43
Most that we have is Congress back-to-back.
26:45
So if you go to Brazil and you want to chill, it shall be
26:50
difficult because that's not the offerings that exist there.
26:53
But then what happens is that people know about this.
26:57
They go anyway and they're there.
26:59
They try like when this is really not for me.
27:03
And then they keep going, they keep coming back or they keep
27:05
staying going to the events and then start complaining about
27:10
them because it's too loud, it's too hot.
27:13
No, no, no. But then next Sunday, there you
27:15
are. Oh, it's too loud, it's too hot.
27:18
So there is a part of you that wants to be there.
27:21
So there's a part of you that wants to dance, which is the
27:23
part that really likes to dance, to really like the opportunity
27:25
to be in the motherlands. You really like the opportunity
27:29
to be dancing with everybody from all over the world and the
27:32
Brazilians and the local DJs and other things.
27:34
So this part overrides the other, But you're still
27:38
complaining. You're still like, this is not,
27:41
it's not the environment for me. And I understand when you say,
27:45
but there's nothing else. If I don't go here, there's
27:48
nothing else for me to go, which sometimes is very true.
27:52
So it would be nice if we start offering more variety of vibes
27:57
for people to choose. I did my event in Sao Paulo in
28:02
the same weekend. The Rios of Congress was
28:04
happening. And there is always this fear of
28:06
like men, but everybody's in the Congress, nobody's going to
28:09
come. There was a whole continuous of
28:11
people that decided that the Congress is not my vibe and they
28:17
came because it was a different vibe for them and it was
28:20
amazing. So we offered an opportunity for
28:23
those who like the vibe and want to go.
28:26
My brother, for example, he was like in the clouds, in the
28:29
skies. He was having such a good time
28:32
in the Congress, in the events, and I was having a very good
28:36
time in the weekend or two. Different vibes, so offer
28:41
different things to people. So in the end of the day, we
28:46
have two situations, right? We have the situation where
28:52
there is variety, it's just hard to find and the situation when
28:56
there is not variety. So then what do you do?
29:00
I assume what would you do if you really want to dance?
29:03
But you look at the things like all the events that are
29:06
happening, they're not your vibe very much.
29:09
Would you power through and do the whole work that you would
29:14
need to do to be at the event, or you would not go at all?
29:18
What would you do and what do you do already?
29:21
I know that's already a reality. My first recommendation for
29:25
everybody out there who is listening and are going through
29:29
this, or maybe have a friend who is going through this.
29:33
When you go to an event, try to have classes with teachers that
29:37
you don't already know. A lot of the times you'll find
29:41
very special niche and feelings in other teachers that are not
29:47
the mainstream, and that's where you find that little pot of
29:50
gold. So when you go to a big event,
29:53
there's the big stars, everybody's going to the
29:56
workshops, but then there's another room here and you go
29:58
like, oh, I'm going to do classes with that artist.
30:02
And that's what I would do in Rio.
30:05
I would try to find the non mainstream artists and try to
30:10
have classes with them. And once I do find them and if I
30:15
connect to them, I would go and have a conversation with them
30:18
and ask, hey, do you know if there are any other classes or
30:22
events that are happening at the time or in the coming weeks that
30:27
are not these ones that I could go to?
30:31
That is, if I'm already in Rio or in Sao Paulo, I'm in the
30:34
season and I'm there, you know, I need to find something to do.
30:39
Now, if there is nothing else to do, then I would still try to
30:43
find people that I can connect with, whether they are those
30:46
teachers that I just said, maybe ask them for some advice or
30:50
people in the social and ask them, you know, like, what are
30:54
you guys doing to have fun? What I like to do is to go
30:59
early. I find that when the parties are
31:02
crazy, the early part is the best.
31:05
SO go early or maybe go super late.
31:10
One of the two don't go to the middle of the party.
31:13
In terms of classes, go to the earlier classes too.
31:16
As an organizer, a lot of the times they put the fire
31:19
workshops. The crazy moves more towards the
31:22
end of the day because they expect that most people will be
31:28
attending the later workshops. But guess what?
31:31
A lot of the times the best classes are the early ones
31:35
because the teachers are there, awake.
31:38
They are not their hangover because they hopefully went to
31:41
sleep early and the groups are smaller so you can actually see
31:47
the teachers ask questions and the people who are there early,
31:52
they're there to learn to dance. They're there because they care
31:55
about the details. They didn't stay at the party
31:58
until 6:00 AM or something. They probably went home a little
32:01
earlier with the discipline of knowing that they are going to
32:05
class earlier. So once again, I've been this
32:10
person who never really followed the crowd.
32:12
If everybody's going right, I'm going left.
32:14
If everybody's travelling, we're here doing a podcast.
32:18
If everybody's doing a show, I'm just here in my local community.
32:22
So for a little while I did what I thought I had to do to be part
32:28
of the community, but it wasn't making me happy.
32:31
So then I look inwards and I thought, OK, what makes me
32:35
happy? Well, I know what makes me
32:38
happy, so I'm going to find a way.
32:40
And those are a couple of things that I would normally do if I'm
32:44
in this scenario. I would focus on where most of
32:49
the people are not going, earlier classes, early social,
32:53
that's the vibe for me. And then at the rest of the
32:56
social or the other classes, to still feel like, you know, I
33:00
don't want to miss out. I would watch.
33:03
So I've danced enough in the earlier classes.
33:06
I've danced enough in the early part of the social.
33:09
The rest of the social, the rest of the classes, I'm just going
33:12
to watch and take notes, maybe talk to somebody, maybe go for a
33:16
practice, do something different.
33:19
But I'm not going to feel or try to be in the middle of the fire,
33:25
in the middle of everybody. The hard thing is to feel like
33:29
you're missing out, and I understand that, but I'm missing
33:33
out. It's kind of like eat enough at
33:36
home so when you go on the streets, you don't have to buy
33:39
all the food that you see. You know, don't go grocery
33:41
shopping when you're hungry. Make sure that you are well fed
33:44
so you don't buy things or you don't feel like you need things
33:47
that your body actually doesn't need.
33:50
So this is like a survival guide if you decide to go to the
33:53
events and to like a big adventure, big Congress, but
33:57
like giving the lack of variety or giving the circumstance,
34:02
would you go in the first place? It gets complicated because my
34:07
first answer is to say that I would because I always believe
34:11
that I can learn something from the experience, but if I'm
34:14
limited with time and money, then I probably wouldn't.
34:19
You know, it just depends. It really depends.
34:21
If I'm there already and there's nothing else, honestly, I cannot
34:25
find anything else and the money is OK, I already budgeted for
34:30
this, then I'm just going to go and learn what's good and what's
34:34
not good for me. I think having experiences like
34:38
that also teaches you what you should be focusing on in the
34:41
future. But if I'm thinking, should I go
34:45
to Brazil in December, January, well, I've done this enough
34:48
times and my answer to myself is hell no, I don't go.
34:54
No, I have invitations, I have events that offer to pay me for
34:59
my flight and I will not go. It's too hot, it's too crazy,
35:04
too many. No, sorry, guys, I've done it.
35:09
I've climbed Mount Everest three times.
35:11
I don't need to do it again. So I love to go to other times
35:16
in Brazil. Winter time, amazing, not too
35:20
hot, lots of people that are from different communities
35:25
coming to Sao Paulo, coming to Rio.
35:27
You find that you actually dance with more Brazilians in the
35:30
lower season because high season you're dancing with people from
35:34
your own country in a social in Rio.
35:37
What's the freaking point? I don't understand.
35:40
I don't understand guys. Yeah, I mean, I like borrowing
35:43
from my brother's. Experience.
35:44
He excitedly waits for their part of the year because
35:49
everybody's coming. And for him, it's an opportunity
35:52
like no other. Because, you know, in Rio, he
35:56
spends most of the year just seeing the same people as a
36:00
local community. And the opportunity that he has
36:02
to dance with more people is then and there what I noticed
36:07
myself is getting more in touch. What is it that I need to
36:12
nurture this thing that is wishing to be nurtured?
36:16
So sometimes I realized that the impulse to go to the social or
36:22
to participate in the event comes from the FOMO.
36:26
Oh my God, it's an opportunity. Happens once a year.
36:29
Let's go. And then I get there and
36:32
realize, no, I should have stayed home and watching TV or
36:36
playing Mario Kart. So after having experienced this
36:40
a couple of times, I realized I need to connect with what is it
36:43
that I want to fulfill? What is this needs that I want
36:46
to meet? What is it that I want to
36:49
nurture? And becoming more intentional
36:51
about it. More intentional about it so I
36:53
can still enjoy these bigger events.
36:57
Yeah. That the environment is more,
37:00
you know, I can still enjoy them very much when connected to the
37:04
thing I am going there for. For example, in this last
37:08
season, guys, I was in real for one month and I went to three
37:12
socials, only three and had a great time on all three socials
37:17
because I was connecting with the thing I was going there for.
37:21
So one of the socials I went because I wanted to socialize, I
37:24
wanted to see the people hang out.
37:27
So I met them before we ate something, had a conversation,
37:31
then went to social. It was awesome.
37:34
You know, give two hours, 3 hours of dancing.
37:35
I was super happy. Home, school, fields,
37:39
everything. There was another one that I
37:41
really wanted to move. I really wanted to dance, dance,
37:44
dance, dance. Like I was fitting this thing
37:46
inside of me and I wanted to move my body.
37:48
So there was this need for movement, there's need for
37:52
expression, there's need for freedom.
37:54
And then I went there. And then in the other one, I
37:58
went because I wanted to listen to music, like I want to listen
38:02
to music around people. Even though it was very loud as
38:05
usual, I was enjoying listening to it because I was with this
38:09
desire to listen to what the DJs would do, you know.
38:14
So I selected DJI, wanted to go, I wanted to see, and then I
38:17
went. But in all situations, I arrived
38:19
early in all three socials that I went, I was there almost right
38:24
after it was open. So it was just me and like three
38:27
other people and started dancing right away.
38:29
It was beautiful, but the experience was really nice
38:34
because I was very in tune with why I was going there.
38:38
What was this thing that I was thinking while going there?
38:40
And then realizing that when I am on autopilot, I just go
38:43
because I think I need to go because everybody's going.
38:46
I am in this following the crowd mood.
38:49
It's easier for me to get frustrated by remembering all
38:53
the things that I don't enjoy when I go connected with the
38:59
reason why I'm going. Even the things that I don't
39:02
enjoy necessarily, they become a little bit more neutral.
39:06
It's fine, you know, because I am in my Y, I'm connected to the
39:11
Y much more. So even if you don't have that
39:16
many options in terms of variety, you might still be able
39:19
to enjoy the environment when knowing what you're going there
39:23
for. And the other thing that I do is
39:26
because there's so many amazing people there in Brazil, in Rio,
39:29
I get in touch with some of them, some of them that I know,
39:33
and we schedule to this. We meet in the museum, we dance
39:36
for like an hour. Man, my battery is blue filled
39:40
to the top. And that's everything I needed.
39:44
I need no more. So I selected my songs.
39:48
The environment was nice. It was outdoors, the wind is
39:52
blowing, you know, it's daylight.
39:55
We dance. There's other people training,
39:57
privates going on around me. So the environment is different.
40:01
I love that environment. Feels amazing.
40:03
And then I go home. So if the need was for
40:07
connection, the need was for the tenderness, the closeness.
40:12
I meet with someone that I know, that I trust.
40:14
We have a good time with this for an hour, then go home and
40:17
then life is good, you know? So develop your own strategies
40:22
to enjoy. We have a common friends, Alice
40:25
and I, if she's from the sea, Hermela, Hermela for a long time
40:29
she was in the formal train. She was just going to thing by
40:33
default, just going, going, going.
40:35
And then right, Alice when she started realizing, man, what is
40:38
it that I'm doing? And then she became a lot more
40:41
mindful and selective. And when she goes through events
40:44
now she goes for a very clear purpose and then she has a good
40:47
time because she's not going by default.
40:50
She's going by choice, mindful choice of why she's going there
40:55
for. What's this going to bring?
40:57
How this is going to nurture me, you know, and I find that
41:00
beautiful. So you can enjoy the same
41:02
environment, the same event, it's the same environment, but
41:05
now you can enjoy it versus you couldn't.
41:09
It's just because the motivation should be there has changed or
41:13
you are more aware of the motivation should be there.
41:16
So I've been trying to apply this technique, this is mindset
41:19
to my choices too when it comes to going to places, go into the
41:24
events, go into the socials and how that impacts my enjoyment of
41:29
these events. Yeah, guys.
41:32
Well, I think that's what we wanted to say here because we
41:35
all belong in Brazilian Zook. You belong in Brazilian Zook, I
41:39
belong in Brazilian Zook. But if we follow the mainstream,
41:43
sometimes we feel a little disconnected and that's OK.
41:48
That is OK. Try to follow the people that
41:51
you connect with. Try to go and meet the people
41:54
that you're connected with. And sometimes just understand
41:58
that you want to go to a certain event that is not quite your
42:02
vibe, but you're there to experience, you're there to have
42:04
fun. You might just have to tweak a
42:06
little bit the things that you do and the way you do things,
42:10
maybe with earlier classes, earlier socials, nice good sleep
42:14
so you don't get, you know, dragged down when depleted
42:19
because the energy is too much or the demand for your energy is
42:24
too much. You can always find a way.
42:27
Even if you're in the craziness of the high season in Rio, you
42:31
can find a way. And hopefully some of the tips
42:33
that we gave you today will help you in your experience.
42:38
Yes, Oh, one thing I just before go just reinforcing this
42:42
invitation, ask people, do you know if there's another thing
42:47
that is like this and like that they might know, they might
42:50
like, oh, talk to this person here.
42:52
There is an event like this. There's a social like that.
42:55
Ask people ask around if you want to know more of what else
42:59
exists. What else can I enjoy?
43:01
Absolutely. There is never a shortage of
43:05
socials, especially if you're in Rio or in Sao Paulo, because
43:09
often there's two or three on the same night at the same time.
43:14
So if you're going to 1, there's probably another one happening
43:18
that not a lot of people know. So do ask around and try to find
43:22
out. And for now, we want to thank
43:25
you once again for being here with us.
43:27
And we hope that you can help us by following and subscribing and
43:31
sharing this with your friends so we can continue to grow this
43:33
beautiful community. And we'll see you on the next
43:36
one. Bitches, bitches, everybody.
43:39
Abrasus and Ciao. Everyone.