Latest / Voices for Voices® / My Mom Saved Me At That Funeral | Episode 479

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My Mom Saved Me At That Funeral | Episode 479 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Whether you're watching, listening here in the United States or across the world, we welcome one and all to our show.
• 0:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have over 470 in our show catalog.
• 0:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So be sure to check those out.
• 0:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you can give us the big thumbs up, follow, subscribe, share, all those great things that are free to do, would greatly help us uh reach more people as well as follow our social media accounts.
• 0:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're all over.
• 0:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So definitely follow, definitely reach out to maybe 25, 50, 100 of your contacts, connections, uh, and your phone and let them know about the voices for voices, TV show, and podcast.
• 1:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, it's just uh an amazing feat that we have uh reached here as far as the number of shows, uh, as far as the uh community we have built and continue to build, uh, the people that we're helping, that we're reaching, and we have this great big gigantic goal to help at least three billion with a B help and help and help and reach three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 1:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And again, thank you for joining us.
• 1:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, we're sending uh love and support your way, whether you're a believer or not.
• 2:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're praying for each and every one of you every single day.
• 2:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, thank you again for being with us.
• 2:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It is a uh much welcome, much needed day with blue skies, around 70 degrees uh here in the area.
• 2:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And uh hope the weather is good, great, where you may be.
• 2:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So again, if you can uh download other podcasts on it, you can download the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast as well.
• 2:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So download them all.
• 2:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Don't miss a thing.
• 2:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Stay with Voices for Voices.
• 2:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're so grateful.
• 2:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I uh I went to a funeral yesterday or an earlier show, uh, shared pretty pretty much uh the the detail, you know, as somebody with uh um well actually I didn't I don't know that I shared everything about my mental health as it related to the funeral.
• 3:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So let me try to we try to do that.
• 3:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I don't I don't know who is comfortable when there are there's death when people are uh passing away from the earth on their way to heaven.
• 3:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh but I am definitely not one of those people.
• 3:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I have anxiety, I have stress, doesn't matter if I know the person or I don't, uh is uh it's hard.
• 4:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um it's hard to it's hard to see, hard to hard to be around people who have had a loss of a loved one.
• 4:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, whether I know them personally, if I've known them close or not, it's it's still hard.
• 4:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So the anxiety and distress level definitely goes up for me, and and it and it went up yesterday uh pretty high.
• 4:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I guess I would I would recommend that if you're like me, or you're not like me, to go to if you're going to a service, a funeral service, a visitation, see if you can go with somebody.
• 5:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I think that's helpful.
• 5:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I I went with my mom.
• 5:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and so it was helpful in that that regard that she was there um with me.
• 5:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so definitely from uh and I'm not laughing because it's fun, it's not funny at all.
• 5:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I really needed to have another another person there with with me.
• 6:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Just I just don't handle those situations, and as you will have watched or listened, or and listen, uh I'll I cover so much more in depth of of the day.
• 6:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh there also was something that uh I didn't cover.
• 6:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and so this this particular church, uh, while very close to my mom and dad's house, drove have driven by probably hundreds of times since what I'm talking about now.
• 7:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh yeah, we have we have friends, we have family, we have colleagues, we have loved ones, and and I just realized that it had been like, I don't know, twenty yeah.
• 7:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Probably twenty years uh since I'd been there, like inside, inside the actual church.
• 7:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was doing them I was trying to do the the math inside my head.
• 7:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that was the face of me doing the mental math, trying to do the mental math in my head.
• 7:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So about 20 years ago was the last time I was in there.
• 7:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and under much different circumstances, much different.
• 8:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah.
• 8:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Much different circumstances, much different for a lot of ways.
• 8:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I still in my you know binge drinking days.
• 8:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I you know, relationship-wise, I wasn't always the best at.
• 8:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so that that's what I that's what I remember about just the actual being inside, like physically walking inside, or if you have a wheelchair, a walker, or a cane, or however, however, you you're able to be mobile.
• 9:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I just realized that after my last um the last therapy session, and and and what my therapist said was, and I hadn't I hadn't thought about it this way.
• 9:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm glad she brought it up.
• 9:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And she said, well, but is it helpful to see how far you've come from from then, from that point, or those points that uh in your in your past.
• 9:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I had to pause in my mind because I although you know that narcissistic mindset for a lot of my life, it's really I started my journey kind of back to life in 2017.
• 10:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we're doing great things here at Voices for Voices.
• 10:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're helping so many people, so many people.
• 10:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: People that I'm I hope I can meet every single one of you.
• 10:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I really do.
• 10:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now, in the event that I can't, which is probably most likely, because a lot of people, I I I don't know who you are, and how we've helped and impacted.
• 10:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because not only are people watching and listening, if we look at like a story, you know, that'd be like writing first person about ourselves, and then third person would be with somebody else.
• 11:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we know there's a ton, and we're so even more grateful to those of you who have and are and will share our show, our organization.
• 11:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're a charity.
• 11:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We try to carry on as a business like a business, and we and we do.
• 11:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we carry on like a like a business, because we are we're a charity, and so we do take donations, but the best form of donation is helping, is reaching out to others for us to be a helping hand when uh if when and if possible, and if you're able to, we are a charity in 501c3, nonprofit, we do accept donations, any amount, and I mean any amount that is donated, that is used to purchase our books in more and more and more ways to come.
• 12:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: All that all those are 100% federally tax deductible here in the United States.
• 13:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you live outside the United States, you just want to check with uh your tax preparer of how that that goes for you specifically.
• 13:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when I look at you know how far I've come, it's it's pretty far.
• 13:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And some of you you're like, yeah, you're here you go again.
• 13:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This narcissist trying to be all about yourself.
• 13:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And this in this particular point, I'm not.
• 13:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's just looking at kind of two points at time.
• 13:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One point in time I was I had these particular character traits and fast forward to today, and I have these character traits.
• 14:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some are better.
• 14:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, actually a lot are a lot are better.
• 14:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Others still work on.
• 14:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, I'm talking about the whole person here.
• 14:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or outside of talking about one specific area.
• 14:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Talking about me as a complete person.
• 14:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when I say thank you, I mean it.
• 15:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for for everything.
• 15:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: For everybody, for every dollar, every cent, every book that's purchased.
• 15:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Voices for voices, publishing.
• 15:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Voices for voices audio coming soon.
• 15:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when I look at these entities, yeah, I mean, they're they're great to talk about.
• 15:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But at the core, just like at the core of Voices for Voices, I'm only around to help people.
• 16:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've I've come to that conclusion.
• 16:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The main reason God's kept me around, again, I'm a believer, you don't have to be to join us.
• 16:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One of the only reasons I'm I'm I'm still on earth given so many opportunities to live when God could have taken me from earth.
• 16:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I made it e I made it easy on him too, with some of the decisions I've made.
• 16:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I just wanna I wanna help.
• 16:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I want to help through story and camaraderie through books, through audio, maybe records, said publishing, others.
• 17:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If somebody hasn't told you in a while, or a long while, you're special, you're unique, you are loved.
• 17:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's no one in the world like you.
• 17:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Nobody in the world has the same skills as you The easy thing to do is to give up.
• 18:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There really is.
• 18:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've been there.
• 18:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've been there so many times I've lost count.
• 18:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's the easy thing to do is to give up.
• 18:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Giving up is easy.
• 18:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's like when you shrug your shoulders, like eh.
• 18:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That seems too hard to do.
• 18:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Somebody else can do it.
• 18:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Somebody else already is doing it.
• 18:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So how would I do it differently?
• 18:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You all have to trust me when I say this.
• 18:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What it may look, what may look like what you want to do and are doing or making strides to do may look similar to what others, another person, other people, other organizations.
• 19:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Once you get started, once you get started, once you get started, and you've totally bought in, and I'm not talking about money in this particular case, when you totally bought into yourself, and we've limited the judging of ourselves that we're doing.
• 19:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, I'm I'm a king or a prince or I'm something that has judged myself from the very beginning.
• 20:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And the judging really judging really began?
• 20:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I think you know growing up I was as I mentioned I've shared sports was so much in my life.
• 20:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's so much.
• 20:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was so much.
• 20:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then once I started not to make the team that I wanted to, that I thought I should, and other things, I began to doubt myself.
• 21:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like in American baseball, somebody hits a pop fly, it's in the sky, it's coming right to me.
• 21:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I have my glove ready.
• 21:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm ready for it to come down and catch in my glove.
• 21:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I drop it.
• 21:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I couldn't remember the last time I dropped a a fly ball.
• 21:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then it happened again.
• 21:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was so disappointed in myself.
• 21:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't know where that came from.
• 21:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I think a good amount of it came from the anxiety and the stress of not.
• 22:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Being where I should be being on which team I felt I should be.
• 22:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: See, I'd made all-star teams.
• 22:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was number one pitcher, good hitter for years growing up, and then once high school came, all that changed.
• 22:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The politics of it.
• 22:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Such bullshit, man.
• 22:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And this is what I this is something I'm sharing.
• 22:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I may have shared before, but it's worth sharing now.
• 22:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So during tryouts, right?
• 22:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you do different things.
• 22:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So right in baseball.
• 23:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Throw the ball, you catch the ball.
• 23:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You try to put the bat on the ball.
• 23:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hit it as far as you can, as hard as you can.
• 23:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so we were going through tryouts.
• 23:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Right?
• 23:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Who's gonna make what team?
• 23:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And there was this star, you know, this this freshman made varsity in all the other sports that he played that year.
• 23:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So naturally they make varsity, right?
• 24:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And baseball.
• 24:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And during tryouts, I was brought in to pitch.
• 24:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's kind of like batting practice, but it's still testing, you know, how how well you you're doing.
• 24:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And on three pitches in baseball, you get one strike, two strikes.
• 24:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You get three strikes when you're batting, you're out.
• 24:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So then the next person comes up to bat.
• 24:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Unless it's a tryout, and then the next person comes up, and then the next person, and then you're just you know switching so everybody gets a chance, so the coaches can watch and see, and so I struck the prodigy out, didn't hit any walls off me, didn't hit any, and I get relegated to so that's pick that's pitching, that's strictly pitching, and people make teams strictly on playing one position, and so I felt that I was good enough to be on an upper team, which would have been varsity because here's here's this prodigy, and I just struck him out.
• 25:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, that didn't matter, decisions were already made at that point, it didn't matter, I struck him out, and so when I look back and go, and if somebody says, you know, look how far you've come from one point in time, I look at that and go that might very well be one of the times that I look at where my so my self-esteem started to take a dive because I try I was like, I gotta fix something, something's gotta be wrong with me.
• 26:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The people are seeing that I'm not seeing, and then I decided to go get checked out by an orthopedic doctor, my throwing shoulder, my left arm on my left side and left handed, ended up getting minor surgery, and then after that, nothing was ever the same.
• 27:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Dropped fly balls, wasn't just wasn't playing up to up to speed.
• 27:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I thought that surgery was gonna help, and that was gonna solve all the problems.
• 27:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I really did, it didn't, and so that's one of the areas where I look back and go, man, yeah.
• 28:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe that's when when some of that anxiety started to really dig in deep.
• 28:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when it got to the point where I was at the end of my high school days, I went through a short stint at one school and then ended up at another college after briefly looking at the military because I didn't have an identity, I didn't know who I was, and then when I get to this the second school, when I end up graduating from college, and I meet people and I uh you know, I was strike up relationships and that I just kind of continued on that.
• 29:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um I used alcohol, binge drinking was just what you did, but I felt that's just what you do in college, university.
• 29:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Those are about the times where I was thinking, I'm like, I don't know if I'm gonna make it till I'm 40.
• 29:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like what what can I do?
• 29:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I my professional sports dreams were dashed.
• 29:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And there's already so few people to make it to professionals, but some so my professional sports were dashed, and so I just looked other ways for acceptance.
• 30:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And one of those ways was in a certain certain way that tied to the church where the funeral was at yesterday.
• 30:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I'm not gonna get into any additional details about that and who and all that.
• 30:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I I don't wanna go there.
• 31:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One of the few one of the few places that I'm not comfortable sharing publicly because our show gets beams all across the world.
• 31:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you are loved, you are cared for, people do love you, you are important.
• 31:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You are here on earth for a reason, and you know what?
• 31:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Probably more than one reason, probably multiple reasons to be a light to others, to be a light to ourselves, to show ourselves that yeah, we've made it, made it this far.
• 32:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: None of us know the day or the hour.
• 32:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So let's all just let's just all as you know one humanity join together and say we don't know the day, the time we're gonna be taken.
• 32:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We don't there's so many deadly diseases, there's so many, you know, heart disease, all kind of cancers, all kind, all kinds of just wicked diseases.
• 32:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then we go and we do the COVID shot.
• 33:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's for another show, another time.
• 33:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've had it on other shows, but it just disgusts me.
• 33:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: D-I-S-G-U-S-T-S.
• 33:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It disgusts me.
• 33:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Those aren't vaccines, they're shots, they're killing people too soon.
• 33:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Not giving people enough time for treatment.
• 33:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's all I have to say about that.
• 33:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know if you've heard behind me on my shoulder.
• 33:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's see, is that shoulder?
• 33:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah.
• 34:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: No, over here.
• 34:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, Lucy's on my shoulder.
• 34:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: She's uh just snoozing away.
• 34:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you might hear, like it's somebody else there.
• 34:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh that breathing, that's that's Lucy taking a snooze.
• 34:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you for joining us.
• 34:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, follow us on social media, reach out to 25, 50, 100, 200, your closest confidants, connections, and your phone.
• 34:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Share the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast with them.
• 34:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'd love to have them in our community to continue our growth in our community that is to help others dealing with mental health challenges, trauma, recovery, trauma, this so many, so many things that we're all growing, we're all we're all trying to get better, do the best we can, and I hope that voices for voices is one of those avenues that has helped you, maybe at some point in time, and if it has, we'd ask you to please share.
• 35:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So let's celebrate the voices of everybody in the world, they deserve to be shared, and let's be a voice for ourselves, ourselves and those that may need it as well.
• 36:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So, thank you so much, and we'll see you on another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 36:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Help us reach that three billion.
• 36:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye.
• 36:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'll see you next time.