Latest / The No Cry Zone / Take It Up a Notch

Transcript

Take It Up a Notch · The No Cry Zone

• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, that intro song is Uber on Over by Brazen Candor.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Rocking It Texas Roadhouse style and taking it up a notch.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: And you are in the no-cry zone where we zero in on positive change that is doable and durable.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Jim Best, and we are going to tell you in detail, without getting tedious, how you can take things in your life up a notch.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let's be candid, shall we?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Most people think change has to be dramatic to matter.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of life gets better when you simply decide to take it up a notch.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Not into mania, not into perfectionism, not into some exhausting version of yourself that even you wouldn't want to be around.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Just into a better gear.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: A little more thought, a little more effort, a little more class, a little more style, a little more purpose.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's where real quality of life starts to rise.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: And because here's the truth: most people are not stuck.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: They're undercalibrated.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: They're living at a setting that's just a little too low, maybe a little too slow, when a better setting is clearly available and doesn't take very much effort.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we're talking about today.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Take it up a notch.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: We recently did the proof of living exercise, planning a three-day weekend with intention.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: We had a lot of positive feedback about that.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: And what that reveals is something important.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Most people don't have a life problem.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: They have an underdesigned life.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: They have an idea problem.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: They drift in their time.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: They undershoot their per possibilities.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: They default instead of deciding.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: And they don't take things up a notch.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about where, in very practical terms, you can do exactly that.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Not ten areas, not all at once, not trick shots, just start seeing where the next notch is available.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: In what area of your life?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: For instance, relationships.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: Take your relationships up a notch.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Not with grand gestures, but with better presence.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Ask one better question.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Listen all the way through instead of thinking about what you're going to say next.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Be a little warmer when you walk in the door.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Say something specific instead of something generic.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Plan something.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Don't just say whatever you want to do.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because here's the truth a better relationship is often hiding behind one notch better attention.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Not a new partner, not a dramatic reset, just better presence.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: Take your communication up a notch.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: This is an easy one.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Most people don't need to become master communicators overnight.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: They just need to become clearer, calmer, and more deliberate, more thoughtful.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Say what you mean sooner.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Reduce the rambling.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Make eye contact.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Replace vague frustration with articulate truth.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of what people call conflict isn't cruelty.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's clumsy communication.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Take it up a notch.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Say it better.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Say it clearer.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Say it cleaner.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: Say it with a little more intention.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: Or a lot more intention.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Be the best communicator in each interaction you have.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great goal.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: And you can do it.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Take your weekends up a notch.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: This is where it gets real fun.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Free time is not automatically fulfilling.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: You've been bored out of your mind on the weekend.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Free time has to be shaped to be meaningful.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Plan one memorable thing and build momentum.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: But start with just one.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Mix a little rest, a little fun, a little order, a little growth.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Decide ahead of time what would make the weekend feel well lived.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well worth your time.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because it is your time, it's your life.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you don't decide, you drift, you wander, you waste your life.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: And if you drift, you under live.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: How sad is that?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Free time improves the moment it becomes intentional.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Take your weekend up a notch.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now next, super important.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll probably say, I already do that, but I guarantee you you can take it up a notch.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm talking about your health.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Not obsession.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Not an overhaul.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Just an upgrade.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: One better meal choice per day.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: One more walk per week.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: A little more discipline with your sleep.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Hydrate with intention.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need a new body overnight.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to hire a staff of trainers.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: You need better physical stewardship.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's a notch up.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it compounds.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Take your training up a notch.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're talking about effort, self-respect, execution.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: This is where a lot of people confuse intensity with purpose.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Intensity is not the only upgrade.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: You don't just have one gear to shift into.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Precision is an upgrade too.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Better form, more consistency, a plan instead of guesswork, a purpose instead of mood.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Take your training up a notch.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: Not louder, not crazy.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to go nuts with it.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: Just better.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: And take your nutrition up a notch.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Most people already know what better looks like here.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: The issue isn't information.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's intention.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Eat before you get overly hungry.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Reduce mindless snacking.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Be a little more deliberate about quality and timing.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because nutrition improves when eating becomes less accidental.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Less accidental, more intentional.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Don't just grab what they have in a deli counter.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Think first.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know you're gonna be hungry at some point in the day.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's the notch up.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Simple stuff.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Take your goals up a notch.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: This is the one that people have the most fun with, not by making them bigger, by making them real, actionable.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, we focus on positive change that is doable and durable.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Goals are the gears that you go through to get there.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: By making them real.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Write them down.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: You've got a good memory, I'm proud of you.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: But write your goals down.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Put them on a calendar.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Identify your next action.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Track something.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Keep yourself on track.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because a dream changes the moment it gets structured.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: A dream goes up a notch when it gets a timeline, a plan, and a next step.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: If I told you, hey, I don't think your goals are worth writing down, you'd get upset about that, I would imagine.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Now, why aren't you writing them down?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you are?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Great.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Encourage somebody else to do it.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's when it stopped being a wish.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's when you become a net positive.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: And your goal is to get traction when you go into action.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now, here's a really pleasant one.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Take your environment up a notch.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: This one gets overlooked.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because, well, that's just where I live.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: But it matters.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Make one room better.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: Clean it up.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Sort things out.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Improve the lighting.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: Reduce the chaos.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Create an atmosphere that supports who you're trying to be.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: No, wait a minute.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Create an atmosphere that supports who you are committed to becoming.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because sometimes the reason your life feels low grade, and don't pretend you haven't felt that way before, it's because your environment is low grade and you're responding to it.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Or languishing in it.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Every day.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Take it up a notch.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that hard.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: And take your attitude up a notch.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Not fake positivity, not forced optimism, better posture towards life.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Complain less.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Solve more.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate more.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Meet inconvenience with a little more maturity.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Be a little more encouraging to others and to yourself.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because a stronger life often begins with a less sloppy attitude.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's not harsh.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's accurate.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Take it up a notch.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: If you think you got a perfect attitude, ask your friends and loved ones for feedback.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: Ask them, do you think I have a really great attitude all the time?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: You please write me if you have three people that say that in your life because you will be a remarkable person.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Most of us, the vast majority, can improve our attitudes.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Take yourself respect up a notch.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: This might be the most important one, although, as you've seen, they're all important.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Keep small promises to yourself.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Dress a little more intentionally.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Make yourself proud when you look in the mirror.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Speak up when something matters.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Stop tolerating certain forms of self-neglect.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Carry yourself like your life matters.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because you know what?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Here's something people miss though.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Self-respect is often built through upgraded behavior before upgraded feelings.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Don't wait to feel better about yourself.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: Act better.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then the feeling follows.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's the notch up.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's the notch forward.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's the better way to live.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now let's be clear about something.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Taking it up a notch is not about frenzy.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: It is not about becoming performative, obsessive, or exhausting to yourself or to others.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: It is about wisely elevating yourself better, not crazier, sharper, not harsher, more intentional, more purposeful, not more frantic.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: And this matters.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: Taking it up a notch is not about becoming someone else.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's about expressing a better version of who you already could be.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's about expressing a better version of who you truly want to be.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you're afraid you never will be.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the rhythm I want you to hear.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Take your listening up a notch.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: Take your standards up a notch.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Take your weekend up a notch.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: Take your meal choices up a notch.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Take your honesty up a notch.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Take your effort up a notch.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Take your self-respect up a notch.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Take your relationships up a notch.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need a reinvention.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: You need an elevation.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: A notch is a manageable rise in quality.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: And when you apply that across your life, things change faster than you think.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll say, I can't believe how easy it ultimately was.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: So don't ask, where do I need my life to change so dramatically?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: What do I need to do to blow up this life and start over again?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need that.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're right where you need to be right now.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: You just need to take it up a notch in your communication, in your relationships, in your planning, in your health, at work, in your standards, in your follow-through.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because life often changes not when we become unrecognizable, but when we stop underplaying what we are capable of.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now here's the closing thought I want you to sit with.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't want you to sit with it.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to take action with it.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: You may be the only one notch away from a much better life.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Not ten, just one.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: So find it and take it, and then get some momentum going for yourself.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, mindset, focus, effective action, habits, perpetual momentum.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's yours for the taking.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Go out and create it.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Listen to the fun song, By Brazen Candor, Uber on Over, and have a great week.