Latest / How to Faith a Life Podcast with Faith Womack / I Was Wrong...

Transcript

I Was Wrong... · How to Faith a Life Podcast with Faith Womack

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the How to Faith Life podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk all about my Bible rewinding and how it's changed stuff, not changed other things.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let's begin.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to the How to Faith a Life podcast, where we wrestle with questions on how to live a life of faith, from everything from books to Bible studies, even Bible study tips.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is your place to wrestle with the hard questions and dive deep into what scripture really says for the Christian walk.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you've subscribed to this podcast on your favorite podcast streaming services.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Review this podcast so other people can find it, and share with other believers who want to ask the hard questions.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now, with all that said, let's begin.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friends, it's editing Faith.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to go ahead and search for this podcast.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Podcast?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Pasta?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: What is this?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: With an apology deciding on a microphone.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um I had that messed up.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I need to learn how to work on a microphone.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And anyway, it is pretty static yet you're editing this podcast when I get excited.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so I need to apologize, especially if you're like wearing or listening and earbuds.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: It might be annoying and might be totally disgusting to even try and listen to.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I apologize, but thank you for trying to bear with me.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Good morning, friends.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it is starting to feel like fall.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all cuddled up underneath a fall blanket, and I've got my fall flavored coffee.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I found some like um, what is it, maple brown sugar dairy-free coffee creamer.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I gotta tell you what, guys, like I know it's annoying with all these fads, like veganism and um gluten-free fad kind of came and went.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, there's always new fads that come out, but I am so grateful for all of the new, like dairy-free, gluten-free things that have come out because of these fads, because I am actually dairy-free and gluten-free.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it is just so nice having, you know, a flavored fall coffee for the first time like in my life that doesn't make me sick.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, I'm all cuddled up and let's talk about my Bible rebinding.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people have asked me, like, is it weird that your Bible looks different?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Does it feel different?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is it hard to get back into the word?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, you know, that would make a really great podcast um to just to kind of discuss um everything.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I even got a few comments that were like, Aren't you idolizing your Bible?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, aren't you doing what you said you shouldn't do?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're gonna talk all about that.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: But first off, I would be amiss or remiss, whatever the word is.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: My brain is kind of still off.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let me take a sip of my coffee.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: But if I didn't open up with a huge thank you to Crew and Co.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: They were so incredibly generous and so like just kind with me.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: We had started talking about this process months ago, and it took me a little while to mail off my Bible because I just wasn't like emotionally ready, and it stressed me out thinking to go without my Bible because a lot of my channel is based on like the visual of my Bible.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: But um, this process was so seamless and they were incredible throughout the whole thing.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I feel kind of bad in the video that I ended up posting.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I overlooked something in the video.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I said like they didn't send me a tracking number, and they totally had.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: It was my fault.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: It went to my email and not to my um like Instagram DMs, and so just like stuff like that, where I'm like, they were so incredible the whole way through, and I am flighty and I'm all over the place, and they still were just like so patient with me, and I feel so undeserving of what like just the amazing hard work that they put into my Bible and how beautiful it looks and all of that.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, all of that to say, thank you again to Crew and Co.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if you guys have not checked them out on Instagram um or their website, like I really encourage you to check them out.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're always doing incredible sales on their website, and then just even like the binding reprocess, wait, the binding process was so seamless, and it's like really affordable.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it would be like, you know,$500 to get your Bible rebound, and their price like is pretty affordable comparative to the amount of work that they put into it, and so I'm just like so thoroughly impressed by Crew Co.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: and their heart and their business.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Seems weird because it's also like a ministry, but maybe yeah, you know, yeah, it is a business.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, um, thank you again to Crew and Co.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: But let's talk about my Bible.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: So um I've had it back now for my guess is two weeks, and from the moment I lifted it out of the box until like after I turned off the camera, um, like once it was in my hands and I was by myself, um, it felt very like normal and comfortable.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And there was no, oh, I don't feel like I can take notes in it or anything like that.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: On camera, I was so emotional about how beautiful it was, and just thinking about like showing you guys all the details and stuff, I should have probably like cracked it open and started immediately taking notes.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because if some people were like, Wait, are are you still gonna take notes in your Bible?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why aren't you writing in your Bible immediately?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it you know, there's just that how do I want to put this?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, I know I take notes all the time on camera, and like y'all see me writing in my Bible or reading my Bible all the time on camera, but there's also like a difference in my brain versus like because uh what y'all don't see is when I'm doing stuff on camera, like even just my body language has to be different to work around the tripod, or um, I have to talk clearer, or I have to explain what I'm doing and why.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's like a difference in my brain when I'm just writing my Bible to write in my Bible and to study and flipping open my Bible just for me, versus like I'm on camera and I need to do this where they can see and explain why I'm doing this and all that.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: So once I was like on my own, camera off, it was like, oh, I've missed you, and um, all of that good stuff.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So um, that brings us to the next topic of I got a few comments of people saying, I think a little maybe a little pessimistically, like, isn't this exactly what you told us not to do?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And like, granted, I'm totally reading that attitude into the comments, but um, aren't you idolizing your Bible then?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't, so I have a virtual assistant, and she had, I think, taking care of some of the comments, but I did some did slip through and I saw like a few people like, Well, isn't this idolizing your Bible?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's the catch 22?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say, yeah, to a level, like, guys, don't be surprised when you see me sin.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't be surprised when I'm a broken human being and um I don't perfectly reflect Jesus.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Please don't be surprised.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Please expect that from me because if you are surprised, then maybe you held me to a higher standard.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm I am a broken human being and I do idolize things and I do sin on the daily by minute by minute, you know.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yes, I probably do idolize my Bible a little bit too much because of the notes that I've taken in my Bible, which is not an excuse.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I do really value the notes that I've taken.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's where I took all of my seminary notes and all of the sermons that I've listened to in the last two, three years, um, and all of my personal studies, going through wrestling with women in ministry, going through, you know, just um ministry alongside my husband.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: All of my notes are in my Bible.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, yeah, I probably m m m idolize my Bible in a way.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it made me, honestly, like I I would have probably said before I mailed off my Bible, I probably would have said, like, no, I don't idolize my Bible.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, it could, like, you know, burn up in a house fire tomorrow and I wouldn't cry.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: But once I mailed it off, it made me realize, yeah, in a lot of ways, it's a security blanket.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I always joke with Joseph um about my hair being my security blanket because it really is.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I cut my hair really, really short in second grade.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: I begged my mom, begged my mama.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And my mom um is a very talented artist and hairdresser and stuff, and so she usually does my hair stuff, even though she doesn't like my tacky um highlights.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: I always beg her to give me my tacky highlights because I love them.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, um, she I begged her and begged her.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And in second grade she cut my hair really short.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I have naturally very curly hair.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: My dad had an afro, and so I um just did not look very great.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: This was before my chubby season, um, but I it still was rough, and I was, you know, an awkward second grader.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: So um, ever since I cut my hair super short in second grade, um, I have always found a level of comfort and idolized like the comfort of having long hair, and I struggled to even like get it trimmed.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just because, oh hello, sorry, I knocked my coffee cup, but um, just because, you know, it's a security blanket.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think um sending off my Bible made me realize that my Bible had become, in a way, a security blanket, just always knowing there's probably notes on this passage, um, you know, or if there's not, I know, you know, to look at the beginning of the book and you know, like so yeah, and I think we are prone to idolize everything.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: However, I would encourage us to still go deep and to still take notes in our Bible.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And though we are prone to idolize everything in our life from ridiculous hair, which like I could lose tomorrow from cancer, to um even a Bible.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it's proof to say that even though I sit here on the internet and I say, like, hey, don't idolize having the most perfect Bible, or don't idolize having the most perfect church, or don't idolize having the most perfect worship band that you always listen to.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't idolize anything.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I myself can easily fall into that and post it on the internet and you guys all see it.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: So just don't be surprised when I'm a sinner.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also I don't know how to, um, and this is something for me, not to say as an excuse, but um, it's something that I was made aware of, and so now I will be continually praying about this and trying to learn and think and pray about the topic of like how to not idolize my resources and my notes and my studying because that's not what saves me.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And while you guys know, like we're Bible nerds, like we love to go deep and we love to study God's word, and we want to learn, we want to read, we want to know him and his word and study it because it's the most important thing in our lives.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how do we not idolize that academic legalistic aspect of it all or idolize the learning?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think, like I said, we're prone to idolize things, we're prone to sin, we're turn prone to turn everything into sin, even worship and taking Bible notes.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this process of sending off my Bible and um realizing how safe it made me feel, and then posting this video on the internet and getting those comments um and really realizing my own sinfulness, my own brokenness, has made me realize in so many ways, like how I don't even know how to take Bible notes and how to study God's word without tainting it with my brokenness, my sin, and and without idolizing the academic aspect of it and having organized notes or having pretty notes or having um yeah, organized.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I've really find interest in like making sure they're organized so I can come back to them.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Even like let's say efficient notes.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: I idolize having efficient notes.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I want to take notes in a way that will help me two months from now, two years from now, ten years from now.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like idolizing that.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's a very human thing, and I'm not promised tomorrow.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: So um this has been a really fun season to learn from, to be called out by people who probably aren't the biggest fans of me.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I sound like a valley girl, like I can't change the tone or the way I talk.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: I know I um am a woman on the internet who, you know, a lot of people, I'm always blown away that men, like men watch some of my videos.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: That blows me away because I see hundreds of men a day on the internet just be rubbed the wrong way from me, from me, because I'm a girl that talks not how they like, and um, I look like I shouldn't know anything about the Bible or shouldn't think academically or whatever.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, all that to say, like I understand that some people like I just rub them the wrong way, and I'm not for them, and that's totally fine with me.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: But um, it's just kind of fun how God can use, even like probably pessimistic or um negative comments to like refine me and sanctify me, like, yeah, you're right actually, though.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you're totally right.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one thing that absolutely changed my life.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: I well, maybe I shouldn't put it that way.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: One thing that really sanctified me and the way that I think about a lot of public religious stuff, which is interesting because I literally share my faith walk on the internet, um, is way, way, way, way back when I was in middle school, maybe early high school, I posted on, and I've shared this before, I posted on my MySpace, I think it was, a prayer.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't, I have no idea, genuinely, I have no idea what I was praying about.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: But it was just something like that I thought would be good, like to encourage other people that might see it to pray or to join me along in that prayer.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that this inherently is bad or that I even had a bad heart, but I had my older sister, was um not a believer, and um, she was with a man that had walked away from the faith as well, and so they both were pretty pessimistically seeing my comment or my post, or whatever you want to call them, and they commented, like, isn't this exactly what Jesus tells the Pharisees not to do in the Bible?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all, when I tell you that that rocked my world, I was like, you're right.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, even my most righteous, my most like um, what I I feel like I don't even second guess.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even think that it might be tainted by sin or brokenness.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even that is tainted by sin and brokenness.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, thank you for keeping me in check, even though you don't even um, you know, claim to be part of the household of faith, you know, like even you can be a part of my sanctification process because God is so much bigger than my sin, my my trying to be holy and still being tainted by sinness, um, by you walking away from the faith, like God is so much bigger than even me idolizing my Bible after I've told you guys not to do that, you know?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so just glory to God and all that.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, thank you for holding me accountable.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for um seeing sinfulness in me that I didn't even see in myself.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to see sinfulness in ourselves, right?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, praise the Lord that He is bigger than my own pride or then our own um sin seeping into our Bible studies.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how how ridiculous is that?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: But also praise the Lord.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Praise the Lord that he's bigger than that.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: We serve a God who is bigger than the depths of our brokenness.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yesterday I got at lunch with a friend and we were talking about mental illness and narcissism and things like that, which we both have experience with in our lives and our family.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I it just made me realize in a new way just how entangled it is.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like we love to put a label on somebody, oh, they're a narcissist, oh, they're prideful, oh, they're arrogant, oh, they're racist, you know, whatever we want to say.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: And yet it's so much more than just a label.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: We can't just put that person in a box.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you look at their childhood, we see how their childhood helped lead them into that path or formed that kind of personality or formed that kind of way of viewing whatever.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't put that in the box because we understand their parents parented them away because of their own hurt.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't put that in the box because we see that their church and their community raised them that way because of some kind of hurt.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't even put that person with that label in a box because we see that they themselves, it's not that they're just a narcissist or they're just racist or whatever.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like they also are as broken sinner human being, and like even the good stuff that they do is still tainted by their brokenness, and it's like it affects every part of their life, the way that they eat, the way that they believe, the way that they talk, the way that they carry themselves, the way that they dress.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like our sin, we are so dirty, we cannot clean ourselves.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it made me just realize in a new way, the depths of my brokenness and the depths of all of our brokenness.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I am a strong believer that we are all just like a sneeze away from like the psych ward, that we are all just um kooks walking around in this world, and the ridiculous fact that the Lord um lets us be his bride and represent him.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: And like we call ourselves Christians, which literally means little Christs.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the fact that like he lets us carry that label and and and his name with us should really humble us if we really know just how broken we are.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm communicating um total depravity or sinfulness to the kids at our church, I typically use um the imagery of a mud.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Growing up in Texas, we had a lot of like mud bowls, like where you put a bunch of water on the dirt and on the Texas clay, the sand, like everything's so dry there, like it's usually just like there's not actual like soil, it's just Texans will laugh.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's not actually soil, it's just like dry sand that's compacted, or not sand, um dry powdery dirt that's compacted, really, really dried out dirt.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you put a hose on it, you will have a pool of mud in your front lawn, or um, you know, a pond of mud.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so we would have mud bowls of sorts.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: You would just play in the mud, you would wrestle in the mud, you would make mud patties, you just mud is really fun.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I love using that imagery with the young kids of like we have played in our sin.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: We have delighted in our sin.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is everywhere, it is underneath our fingernails, it is inside of our ears, it's inside of our belly buttons, it's covering our face.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like you we're unrecognizable.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Our sin is so everywhere.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't touch something, we can't even like sneeze without spraying our muddiness everywhere.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: And um, that imagery can be really helpful for little kids, and I think also for adults of just like we can't sneeze, we can't breathe, we can't look anywhere, we can't walk anywhere without bringing our brokenness everywhere with us.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And um this kind of leads, and I don't want to get like too tea-ish, if that was a verb, but I uh I recently I had there was a comment someone somewhere recently um was like, Well, we as believers aren't referred to as sinners.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I would in part agree in that we are in the now and the not yet.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we have been redeemed, but we are still tainted by sin because we are in the now and the not yet.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: The promise of that final consummation is now, but also not yet.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and the work on the cross is we have in part, but it not in full.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, well, I don't take that out of the wrong way.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't twist that.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we in part in that we have received that salvation, we have received that new life in Christ, we are his child.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: However, we are still under the consequences of sin.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: We are still um slaves to sin in some ways, not slaves to sin in that we have been redeemed, but we um still naturally are inclined and fall into sin every single day.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And to belittle our sin is to belittle the cross.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And scripture adamantly warns us to not belittle our sin, to not um take for granted the fact that we have been ridiculously redeemed.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like it should be mind-boggling the work that Jesus has done on the cross and and how transformative that is, and how um how all-encompassing that is in our lives and and over our identities, and yet we are still everything we do is still attained by sin.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's the now and the not yet.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I would not take that standpoint or really even teach on the fact of like we are no longer sinners because we are totally still sinners, and to neglect that is to continue and sin.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, I mean, I was talking to a Wesleyan friend recently, and she was telling me, like, while we we on paper agree that you might on this side of heaven reach like complete sanctification, we don't actually believe that, and no one would actually probably teach that.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought that was kind of interesting.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, we we are still totally broken human beings.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if we're going to act like we're not totally broken human beings, do we even understand the cross?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do we even have a saving knowledge of what Jesus did on the cross?
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because guys, guys, um, early, early on in my spiritual walk, it was it was more than helpful.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: I can't think of a word to describe it.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was completely and utterly transformative.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was a core part of my true saving knowledge of Jesus Christ was really understanding the depths of my brokenness.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: And we sh and if we are belittling the depths of our brokenness, if we are belittling our need for our savior, our active need for our savior, we um belittle the cross and the work that Jesus has done, our savior.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: And um the I know a lot of people don't like and they pick these words apart, but like audacious or ridiculous love.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: I I I think people use those words to describe God's love, or audacious or ridiculous love of God, um, to describe just how like mind-boggling it should be.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't make human sense that a good God would love me and you.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if we don't have a really good grip of that, we may not have the same knowledge of Jesus Christ, because like we should understand that it is mind-boggling, earth-shattering, not right for him to love us.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: But in his great mercy, he took the just penalty of our sin upon himself.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And in his great mercy, he loves us undeserving, um, unfaithful um harlots of a wife.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: And he calls us to himself day after day after day, though I'm sitting here on the internet, you know, and y'all see me sin.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: And and and like, who am I to have this job or to do this stuff on the internet?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm like, I'm just as broken as the next person, you know?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so I hope uh with all of this rambling, with all of this discussion around my Bible and um Bible study and our the depths of our brokenness, that you are encouraged.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not in your brokenness, but that like we should not embrace our brokenness or um be like, well, I'm drenched in sin, so I might as well just keep sinning.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, obviously, no, like Romans 6.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Do we continue in sin that grace may be blah?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Do we continue in sin that grace may abound?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Of course not, is essentially what Paul says.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: However, this should encourage you when you look at the cross and understand the amazing love of God, that He the Holy Spirit lives inside of us, that he would redeem us, that he would call us his child, that he would reconcile us to himself.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: That, my friends, should be the everything to us.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: That though I'm still gonna be tainted with sin, that that sends you back to the Word of God.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: That that we can't do anything but respond in worship at the thought that He could love us.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: So no, I will not endorse belittling our sin or uh endorse like trying to pretend like I'm not a sinner.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: If I wasn't a sinner, guys, I would have no need for salvation.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I'm if you guys are watching my video, you probably are like, what is she doing?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm picking out like some sticky glue that accidentally went on my desk and now it's picking up all the dirt and you know it's like turning gray or whatever.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, annoying.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, anyway.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, squirrel, what was I even talking about?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I will not endorse or openly teach that like like the this concept that this comment was saying something online of like the New Testament doesn't call us sinners after the cross.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Paul himself says that he's the chief of sinners.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um first John adamantly warns us to to like I I mean I I I've already said all this, but guys, we are sinners in need of a savior, and the cross has come and Jesus has reconciled us to himself, he's taken the just penalty for our sins onto himself, but we live in the now and then not yet, and we are still totally tainted by sin.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um, to take our eyes off of that is to take our eyes off of our need for a savior and to think that we have um a reason to sin or even worship ourselves, like it gets into like new age stuff.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, all of that to say, I am so sorry that I I don't want you guys to think that it is like okay to idolize your Bible, and I don't want to encourage any kind of sin.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't honestly see that in myself.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend like that isn't tainted by sinfulness and brokenness.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: But glory be to God that I am his child and that he is continually redeeming me and calling me out, even through pessimistic comments.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um that that he is the the fight has been won over my soul, but he does not end it there, that he continually fights for my attention as a jealous, that jealous love, um, that he fights for my sanctification and is willing to call me out and um not just leave me there.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like praise the Lord that he's such a good God.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I pray that you're encouraged with with thinking about this concept of how again, audacious, how how amazing it is that he would love us.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think in today's society, we we make it all about us being amazing.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: We make ourselves lowercase G gods.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And and if everything is communicating that to us all the time, yeah, it's gonna make sense and it's gonna feel good to say, like, well, the New Testament doesn't call us on ours.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't just come down to semantics, it it comes down to like faulty theology if you really break it down.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would really argue that like we continue to build each other up to this love of God, not love of stuff.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: And though we are constantly um broken and our natural inclination is to pollute things with our sinfulness and brokenness, like guys, don't look at me, but look at Jesus.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And my prayer since I don't know, high school when the Lord really started working in my life, um, has always been to be an arrow to point up to the Lord.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: So don't watch me if you're looking at me and idolizing my decisions that I make with my Bible or um wanting to copy me.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Don't watch me because that's not gonna lead you into righteousness and that's not what I'm here on the internet for.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is all about the Lord.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: It is his show, this is his rodeo.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I I'm not gonna take that um attention or act like that's okay.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing, like, yeah, don't watch me.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I got other people watching me.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not worried about like the money of it or the ad sense or whatever.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't watch me if um you're going to um be led into sin or um if it's going to I don't know, like lead to some kind of idolization or something like that, which honestly brings to mind one other thing.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: When I my recent podcast on Matt Chandler, um, I had a few comments saying something along the lines of like, this is gossip.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I really appreciate the fact that people would be willing to say something if they thought that it was sinfulness.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: I personally viewed it as a response to something that was very public, but but I do not want you watching it if you feel like it is gossip.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Please do not watch my videos and and don't click on them.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't do it if you feel that the Holy Spirit within you is, you know, saying like this is gossipy, this isn't just talking about what was public.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah, okay.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I will continue to pray about that and pray that the Lord, you know, continually sanctifies me.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's an aspect to which, like, you know, when I'm asked about things that I view as pretty public, um, I do want to be able to give a Christian um advice or commentary on things.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's been things before where like for so long I like didn't talk about cultural Christianity, like issues and cultural Christianity on my channel.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I would just focus on like exegesis, because I was like, well, if I'm like just teaching people how to study the Bible and how to think about the Bible, like that will naturally lead to how to think about like cultural Christianity issues.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and yet I wouldn't be like teaching one thing in my video, and then I would get a comment and be like, Well, therefore, we need to think this way about this.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, actually, that's like the opposite of what I'm trying to hint at.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm learning, like, you know, there's an aspect to where I am going to touch on cultural Christianity issues here that I'm passionate and I think are pretty clear in scripture and stuff like that that the Lord leads me to and all that.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I will talk about things here in my channel.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's I'm no like Roosalon, I don't want to like be a Roosalan, but there are things that I will talk about occasionally on my channel based on the Lord guiding me and things like that.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: However, um, yes, if you if you feel like I'm ever gossiping or you know, doing something, please like feel free to call me out, but also don't watch me.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: That is the last thing I want to do.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, I'm not trying to say this like bitterly or anything like that.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just genuinely being like, if I'm not helping you um or encouraging you in your sanctification process, like please don't.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't the me show, you know, um, this is his rodeo.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: So again, um do thank you guys so much for um all of your support and encouragement.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I like so love crew and co and the work that they did on my Bible.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, like I would say that there's totally a degree to which I'm constantly going to pollute things and make it about um what I can do to like efficiently record my notes in my Bible because I'm you know still tainted by sin and I'm living in the now and then not yet, and I'm so grateful that we have a community where we can like hold each other accountable and you know push each other's butt buttons to continually like run the race that said before is and and not get content in our you know sinfulness.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let's pray, let's close in prayer and just talk to the Lord about this because off the cuff, like talking about this stuff very casually, friend to friend, I will always leave things out, and um this this is better completed by a by offering it up to the Lord.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, Father God, we just um we thank you that we're here, that we're living like with breath in our lungs and with blood in our veins, that you have graciously given us another day to um live and to um shout your praises and to be those walking arrows through this world.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: But God, help us not to take that for granted.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Help us not to um ever lose the disgust with our sinfulness and to constantly um keep our eyes on the cross and our need for the cross.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: God, we confess that we we can't seem to do nothing without it being tainted by sin, God.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: We can't do nothing.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, God, we praise you because you still so kindly like love us.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And Lord, we'd be so fed up with ourselves if we if it was flipped.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: But God, you are so good, and so thank you, God, that you could delight and sing over us, as scripture says, and and love us and see the depths of our brokenness, like you did on the cross, and still say, like, yes, I love you.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, God, the picture of the prodigal son's father with your arms wide open, um, and us just like literally, like, I just sinned, you know, like walking away from our sinfulness and our brokenness and turning to you, God, like God, we run.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we wholeheartedly exclaim with our everything that we absolutely, completely need you, Lord.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: We call out for you.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: You are our salvation.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even take Bible notes without sinning.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: God, we absolutely, entirely, completely need you, and we confess that not as um and any new news really, but just as an open um and minutes because we ourselves in our pride will want to boast ourselves up and and and fuel that thought that maybe we kind of are getting it figured out and we kind of have you pinned down.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: But God, you see the depths of our brokenness and you and you see and love and call us away from it, and and you offer that us that life, that true water, that um the sanctification even um the opportunity to not stay here in our sin, in our brokenness.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so we praise you for that, God.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: And as we run the race that's set before us, as we live this Christian life, as we keep our eyes fixed on the cross and heaven and our heaven-bound um citizenship that awaits us, help us to live today in this broken world as lights, but also as big arrows just pointing up to you.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: May people not see us as us, but see you.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if there is any brokenness um that we do, Lord, help us to see and confess and walk away and um just continually point others' eyes to you, Lord.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: May we be good witnesses to this dark and dying, broken world that so desperately is crying out for you, God.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not because we have it all figured out, but because we know just the same, right alongside them, that you are the answer and that we are all yearning for more of you, God.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: Our hearts thirst, our hearts cry out, our body yearns for that final consummation in you, the redemption, the the the picture that we see in Revelation 21, Lord, and so we um just cry and pray that we might be faithful ambassadors, um Christians, little Christs, representatives of you and um in a way that only points to you and your glory.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: Father God, in your name we pray.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you guys for joining me today, and I pray that um though I probably totally left some things out or maybe didn't word them perfectly, that this encouraged you in the faith.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I encourage you that if you um if I left anything else out, or if you want to perfect this or complete this, and you're watching on YouTube, please feel more than um comfortable to comment down below anything else that I left out.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, guys, and I will see you in our next podcast.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: Bye guys.