Latest / Comic Quest / Comic quest EP: 14 Gaze upon my fruit bowl

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Comic quest EP: 14 Gaze upon my fruit bowl · Comic Quest

0:01
SPEAKER_05: Here we are again.
0:08
SPEAKER_05: We are 40 medium staffed in the lines at Dungeons and Dragons.
0:11
SPEAKER_05: How are we gonna get back home?
0:12
SPEAKER_05: We don't know.
0:17
SPEAKER_01: Whoa, what's the detox of comedy?
0:25
SPEAKER_03: This is Comic Quest.
0:31
SPEAKER_05: We're back in Blackfriars.
0:32
SPEAKER_05: It's a great place for to watch stand-up.
0:34
SPEAKER_05: It's also a great place to record podcasts.
0:36
SPEAKER_05: So if you're in Glasgow, you want to watch some live stand-up, make sure to come down to Blackfriars.
0:41
SPEAKER_05: Also check out BAD BAAD.
0:44
SPEAKER_05: It's a great place.
0:45
SPEAKER_05: They do live podcasts, they show football games.
0:48
SPEAKER_05: It's going to be great for the World Cup.
0:51
SPEAKER_05: And there's also a lot of great stand-up shows and kind of cabaret shows.
0:54
SPEAKER_05: So make sure you check it all out.
0:56
SPEAKER_05: And we're back.
0:57
SPEAKER_05: So where we left you was you had just jumped on the black and orange ship.
1:03
SPEAKER_05: You were talking to some people on it.
1:05
SPEAKER_05: And we need you to roll a dice to basically see if the cargo of the ship is going to escape and potentially you'll have to deal with that.
1:13
SPEAKER_05: Or if you're going to be able to jump on Mika's ship.
1:15
SPEAKER_05: So uh Fanny or Don, if you want to roll a D20, I'll tell you how this plays out.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: You mean roll I kind of feel like you should because you're usually a better roller.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: Both roll and then see who gets higher.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go on.
1:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, be nice.
1:29
SPEAKER_03: It's the first roll of the game.
1:32
SPEAKER_03: Let the record show that I do believe it is gonna I believe in you, Fanny.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it got that's I've five.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: I and we need a better, we do need a better rolling area.
1:40
SPEAKER_03: Nineteen! Eat my plums or something less sexually aggressive.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: Um how about uh gaze upon my fruit bones?
1:55
SPEAKER_05: So the you jump the boat, there's a rumbling from below, but it nothing actually comes out, so you can jump back off the boat, or you could continue talking to these people, or you could just jump to Mika's boat now.
2:07
SPEAKER_05: You know which one it is.
2:08
SPEAKER_05: Jump, jump.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump.
2:12
SPEAKER_05: Alright, so you get on Mika's boat, it's all very flashy, it all looks quite nice and all that.
2:18
SPEAKER_05: What a kind of crushed velvet seating and stuff like that.
2:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this guy fucks.
2:23
SPEAKER_05: He's got love, laugh, love on the side of the boat.
2:26
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I know, yeah.
2:28
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and it's kind of like that grey, kind of shiny sparkle paint.
2:31
SPEAKER_05: You ever been in like a I hate that?
2:33
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, there's a there's there's a thing if you go.
2:36
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, if you go to like a house party and like a rough bit of Glasgow, it'll be someone's ma's house and it'll be like a kind of grey wall, and then there'll be like a line, like a box, uh a rectangle in the middle that will be this grey kind of sparkle paint, and then they'll put their TV in that kind of bit as well.
2:53
SPEAKER_03: Yes, and then they also have like uh a really big foe of like a leopard and they'll be like fucking diamond, they'd fake diamonds, or like little shitty jewels.
3:02
SPEAKER_03: It's like the eyes, and you're like, this is B and M.
3:04
SPEAKER_03: This really BM.
3:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
3:06
SPEAKER_05: So that's that's Mika's boat button to take it away and fly it away.
3:10
SPEAKER_05: I really do.
3:11
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be honest, and I'm gonna say this.
3:13
SPEAKER_03: I'm just looking right at you now, Kate.
3:15
SPEAKER_03: And let's see, basically I'm so happy to fuck anything that he's gonna do.
3:18
SPEAKER_03: Well, you just don't know what's happening.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm gonna say.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: We don't know.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: Just a little recap.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: Gareth is not is still spider.
3:24
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he's still a spider.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: You're a spider.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: So I can't.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm a half dragon.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Where's Rufus?
3:29
SPEAKER_05: Rufus is with you as well.
3:31
SPEAKER_05: He's on your other shoulder, I think it was, but it's not very.
3:34
SPEAKER_03: So we are about to go.
3:35
SPEAKER_03: So totally unbelievably within gameplay, because as you say, we are not aware what's happened to Phil.
3:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:42
SPEAKER_03: Phil.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: But we're we think we're supposed to be waiting for them now.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: Or no, we're supposed to meet us.
3:47
SPEAKER_03: We're supposed to meet there is a meeting point.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: We don't know.
3:50
SPEAKER_03: We did, we did know that.
3:51
SPEAKER_03: There's a meeting point.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, we know that we're supposed to meet you in the middle.
3:53
SPEAKER_03: So let's go to the meeting point.
3:55
SPEAKER_03: Let's go to the meeting point, and then the second, and I mean the second, they're not there.
4:00
SPEAKER_03: Bye.
4:01
SPEAKER_03: Gone.
4:02
SPEAKER_03: Bye, Felicia.
4:03
SPEAKER_03: Let's get out of here.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: We don't have to be starting the breakfast of spider.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: We can decide in the moment.
4:08
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so as you're flying the ship out, you hear a town crier and he's shouting, Heel ye, heal ye! The trial of the murderers of Farmhold will take place today.
4:21
SPEAKER_05: We've caught half of the gang.
4:23
SPEAKER_05: We've caught, they call themselves Bill Futler and Shawn Michaels.
4:27
SPEAKER_05: They'll trial us today.
4:29
SPEAKER_05: Heal yeah.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: Do we hear it?
4:33
SPEAKER_05: The engines are really loud.
4:35
SPEAKER_00: Really?
4:35
SPEAKER_00: Actually.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like he'd um Miko would have some music playing on the crushed velvet.
4:40
SPEAKER_03: Tell you what, you be the turn crier, I'll be the engine.
4:44
SPEAKER_03: Whatever one comes out louder.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: Let's roll the scene.
4:49
SPEAKER_03: Can you believe it?
4:49
SPEAKER_03: Can you beat that?
4:50
SPEAKER_01: You've you've absolutely shown the ticket.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: Uh so you've helped that.
4:59
SPEAKER_03: Can I, Ricky?
5:00
SPEAKER_03: I I'm no longer a spider.
5:01
SPEAKER_03: I would like to batch it.
5:03
SPEAKER_03: Uh and I'd look at Fanny and go.
5:05
SPEAKER_03: The ship is pulling out the dock, though.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: So we've got the ship out of here, man.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:13
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so it's like two levers for up and down and then a big suffer.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's fun.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, so we've we're lever up, we're we're soaring, and then we hear it.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: And then I kind of bring the lever halfway down, so we're just kind of we're hovering, and I go, God damn it.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Don, what do we do?
5:31
SPEAKER_03: Do we want to be good people?
5:34
SPEAKER_03: Because I kind of don't.
5:38
SPEAKER_03: We get the ship body.
5:40
SPEAKER_03: We can't we can't, we can't just abandon it.
5:44
SPEAKER_03: I get the ship body.
5:45
unknown: Don't worry about it.
5:47
SPEAKER_02: I'll be fine.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: I've hired Johnny Cochran.
5:51
SPEAKER_05: That's very funny.
5:52
SPEAKER_05: So Ruffold goes, Well, what I think we could try and rescue him during his trial.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, is it the is the trial right now, Ruford, or do they usually wait a little bit?
6:05
SPEAKER_00: Great club.
6:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, my friend's a little delayed.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: Um do you great club is the trial immediately?
6:16
SPEAKER_05: Well, the guy said it's today, so uh it'll be in the afternoon, I think, man.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: Great.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: What time is it, right?
6:24
SPEAKER_05: We could bust them out of there.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: So should we go to the forest, collect, uh try and collect some of the Mika's army, and then we bring the boat back during the trial and save them.
6:33
SPEAKER_05: I mean, does Bill have any friends that come and help?
6:39
SPEAKER_00: Bill have any plans?
6:40
SPEAKER_05: Does Bill have any friends or anything?
6:42
SPEAKER_05: Any allies?
6:44
SPEAKER_00: Not a friendly guy.
6:45
SPEAKER_05: A lot of enemies.
6:46
SPEAKER_03: A lot of enemies.
6:48
SPEAKER_03: No one knows him but us.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: No allies.
6:50
SPEAKER_03: We're the closest thing to him, and I wouldn't know.
6:52
SPEAKER_03: Well, his friend is Sean.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: And Sean was captured with him.
6:56
SPEAKER_03: And Sean's with him, exactly.
6:57
SPEAKER_03: And he's got a broken leg.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: And what about Mika?
6:59
SPEAKER_05: Mika also Mika's with Mika's with him, but he wasn't mentioned in the where is where is Mika's army?
7:06
SPEAKER_00: In the forest.
7:07
SPEAKER_05: Mika doesn't have an army.
7:09
SPEAKER_05: He has a he has smuggles, connections.
7:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he's got yeah.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: Friends.
7:13
SPEAKER_03: Friends, allies.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: Friends with weapons.
7:15
SPEAKER_03: People that will help him in a.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: I think if we have a couple hours, we may as well get some love.
7:22
SPEAKER_03: Regroup, yeah.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: Add Nona said.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: Sister restaurant to Blackfriars.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: They do gluten-free pizza.
7:31
SPEAKER_05: Alright, so you used to fly off to the forest in your earth ship.
7:35
SPEAKER_05: Do we?
7:35
SPEAKER_05: Have we made that plan?
7:36
SPEAKER_05: I thought you used to go to the forest to regroup.
7:38
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we were definitely.
7:39
SPEAKER_05: It was looking that way.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: Because like what time is it right now?
7:41
SPEAKER_05: So there's about I'd say there's about three hours till the trial starts.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and we just know that.
7:47
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, hold no, hold on, hold on.
7:49
SPEAKER_03: Well, this will say.
7:52
SPEAKER_03: One of us could because this is why I wrote down in the last fucking episode we need to ask more questions.
7:57
SPEAKER_03: So this is good.
7:58
SPEAKER_03: I think we're doing good so far.
7:59
SPEAKER_03: But why don't I jump off the boat and go and find uh how is this asking a question?
8:06
unknown: Wait.
8:07
SPEAKER_03: He's just sharing a plan.
8:08
SPEAKER_03: He's sharing.
8:09
SPEAKER_03: Maybe wait.
8:10
SPEAKER_03: Maybe wait two goddamn seconds.
8:12
SPEAKER_03: If I jump off the boat, find a local resident and say where is the trial going to be taking place and at what time?
8:20
SPEAKER_05: Rufford would know that by the way.
8:23
SPEAKER_05: Well, he hasn't really shared it.
8:24
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: But that's why we had asked more questions.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: So instead of offering a plan, we asked.
8:30
SPEAKER_05: Your plan was to go and find someone else to ask questions to when you have someone there that you could ask questions to.
8:36
SPEAKER_03: Gareth has been.
8:37
SPEAKER_03: We've asked Rufford, and Rufford said you took him in in a very Glaswegian accent.
8:41
SPEAKER_03: He didn't American, don't you?
8:43
SPEAKER_03: And that was American.
8:44
SPEAKER_03: That was supposed to be American.
8:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it started American.
8:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:48
SPEAKER_02: I don't know where in America is from, but it started like that, but then I was gonna say Minnesota.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: No one knows what Minnesota exists.
8:56
SPEAKER_05: It's from Minnesota.
8:57
SPEAKER_05: Get it.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: Hey Ruford, can you tell us more details?
9:03
SPEAKER_00: Everything you know about the trial.
9:04
SPEAKER_03: Where is the trial?
9:05
SPEAKER_03: Where is the trial gonna be taking place?
9:07
SPEAKER_03: And at what time?
9:08
SPEAKER_05: Well, I tell I told you, it's probably gonna be in the afternoon.
9:12
SPEAKER_05: It will be, I assume it'll be in the great courthouse, because that's where all the trials take place and never went off.
9:17
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he is from Minnesota, so I think that's fine.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: The afternoon is very long though.
9:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's not a good thing.
9:24
SPEAKER_05: I would say, judging by the sun, I would say about three hours.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: I love how you I love how you make sure to be like, we don't have we don't have earthly time here, but we still have hours.
9:39
SPEAKER_03: Judging by that breeze coming over yonder, I'd say about two hours now.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay, now the Great Courthouse, Ruford, what does that look like?
9:46
SPEAKER_00: Can you give us some schematics to get in there?
9:50
SPEAKER_05: So it's it's got a big kind of bet what I think we should do, let's just crash the fucking ship with a cart.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: Literally, that's what I was gonna suggest.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: How do we make sure we won't kill them though?
10:01
SPEAKER_05: So there's a big kind of stained glass window.
10:04
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
10:04
SPEAKER_05: And this is like that scene in Shrek when fucking donkey smashes in on the dragon.
10:09
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
10:10
SPEAKER_05: Yes, please.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: Someone's read the inspiration.
10:12
SPEAKER_05: Let's Shrek the shit out of this.
10:14
SPEAKER_05: So I was gonna tell you about a story about a dragon I know called Shrek who burst into a courthouse using a big window.
10:22
SPEAKER_05: Heard it?
10:23
SPEAKER_05: Already heard it.
10:24
SPEAKER_05: Big fat of it.
10:26
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he's a pretty cool guy.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: What color is he?
10:30
SPEAKER_05: Green.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Stay true to Bible.
10:34
SPEAKER_05: Green.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so we'll crash through window and rescue them.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: Won't we be attacked?
10:40
SPEAKER_03: Well, this seems like a dangle me from the bottom of the ship.
10:46
SPEAKER_03: I'll grab it.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: But what if you could stab them?
10:49
SPEAKER_00: 100 spears.
10:50
SPEAKER_05: Well, do you not in the blink of an eye?
10:54
SPEAKER_03: I'm like a ninja.
10:55
SPEAKER_05: Do you not have like magic or something?
10:56
SPEAKER_05: Could it be cause of distractions?
10:58
SPEAKER_05: You maybe have some for me to do that.
10:59
SPEAKER_02: You know, everyone ever thought that I might be innocent here.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: That doesn't matter.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: That is irrelevant.
11:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but then well, there, okay.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: We need to get out of here.
11:10
SPEAKER_02: The whole plan was us getting out of here.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: But I will say, because the thing is I was just working really hard on my case.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: Voice of Bill.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: That's adorable.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: There we go.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: It's adorable.
11:20
SPEAKER_03: I can picture Tom in front of a mirror going, Your Honor.
11:22
SPEAKER_03: If I may.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: My friend, this is a kangaroo court.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: This is not a real trial.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna be a good one.
11:28
SPEAKER_03: But Tom wanted it to be.
11:29
SPEAKER_03: Tom wanted to use legal terms.
11:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, of course.
11:32
SPEAKER_05: You don't know.
11:33
SPEAKER_05: You need to wait and see what you don't know what I'm planning anything.
11:36
SPEAKER_02: We were just blackmailed.
11:37
SPEAKER_02: I may bitch about this on the ride out of here.
11:40
SPEAKER_02: We were just blackmailed.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: Like almost tried to be blackmailed to stay here because Taz was so scared of magic.
11:45
SPEAKER_00: This is not a land ruled by logic and law.
11:48
SPEAKER_03: Also, you're using a lot of really good words today, and I just want on record, I'm a big fan of all of them.
11:52
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
11:53
SPEAKER_03: Uh also gaze upon my fruit bowl.
11:57
SPEAKER_03: I loved that.
11:57
SPEAKER_03: That was number one.
11:58
SPEAKER_03: Uh number the second thing I want to say is remember the last fucking episode.
12:04
SPEAKER_03: There was a reason why we all wanted out of there because there's some big bad thing coming to cry.
12:12
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
12:12
SPEAKER_03: Well, that's exactly it.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: So do you want to be in court with a suit going on jack?
12:18
SPEAKER_02: I'm actually realizing that I gotta shut the fuck up until it's my turn.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
12:25
SPEAKER_02: So there you go.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: Hey, you know what?
12:26
SPEAKER_00: This is one for the fucking history books.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: Tom Yes.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: Tom Yes.
12:31
SPEAKER_03: Here's one decay.
12:32
SPEAKER_03: Big penis.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: And we're right back to Tom No.
12:39
SPEAKER_05: It's a it's a drawing of penis and boobies, not actual penis and boobies, it's a drawing for the the listen.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: And I have I have released the Tom No sign.
12:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they might have thought we were just going crazy.
12:53
SPEAKER_03: Penis.
12:54
SPEAKER_03: How about that, huh?
12:55
SPEAKER_03: So what else do you sell?
12:59
SPEAKER_03: I actually just for my own now, this could be nothing, and this could be Gareth doing a classic Gareth, and just there's nothing over there, but I just want to know.
13:08
SPEAKER_03: We might as well fucking let's try steal some stuff from other boats.
13:12
SPEAKER_03: There's we're in a bunch of boat sheds.
13:14
SPEAKER_05: So you're floating away from the boat right now.
13:17
SPEAKER_05: Let's leave it then.
13:17
SPEAKER_05: Tom nodding and go back.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: I think also on every boat there were some people and we almost got in trouble.
13:23
SPEAKER_05: You had to roll.
13:24
SPEAKER_05: We almost got in trouble.
13:25
SPEAKER_05: Adorable.
13:26
SPEAKER_05: We almost got in trouble.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: I hate getting in trouble.
13:29
SPEAKER_05: It is the worst.
13:29
SPEAKER_05: You teach them like four boats, and you had to on three of them, you'd rolled really well and avoid the trouble every time.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: Liam wanted us to get in trouble so badly.
13:39
SPEAKER_03: He's always wanted us in trouble.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: He's like, oh, he wanted us to get arrested so we'd also be in court.
13:44
SPEAKER_03: That is almost definitely was planned, but unfortunately, we rolled too well, sir.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: Hovering in a boat.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:53
SPEAKER_03: Fucking damn it.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: Um, so okay.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm just looking through my spells to see what we could use to distract.
13:59
SPEAKER_03: Love it, cool.
14:00
SPEAKER_03: We could also do that?
14:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: I have a magic mouth.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh Tom No.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: I've never seen it.
14:08
SPEAKER_02: You want to know what?
14:09
SPEAKER_02: I was chewing my nails when that one came out.
14:13
SPEAKER_02: I'm just sitting there and sucking my tie.
14:15
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna win, Mike.
14:16
SPEAKER_02: If you didn't break your fucking leg, yeah, that's cool.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: We would have got out of here.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, I implant a message within an object in range, a message that is uttered when a trigger condition is met.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: Choose an object you can see that isn't being worn or or carried, and then the magical mouth appears on the object and recites the message in your voice at the same volume you spoke.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: So it's not a great one.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Um but it might distract something.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: They might all look if we put it at the back of the courthouse, and everyone goes, What?
14:48
SPEAKER_00: And that's when we fucking smoke.
14:52
SPEAKER_03: I've got that pipe of smoke monster.
14:53
SPEAKER_03: That could be a Whoa what's that do?
14:55
SPEAKER_03: Like smoke a pipe and a big smoky monster coming up.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: Can it actually hurt people?
14:59
SPEAKER_03: Uh I don't think so.
15:01
SPEAKER_03: But maybe.
15:01
SPEAKER_03: No.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: Liam's chain, no.
15:03
SPEAKER_03: No, I don't think it can, but it's a hell of a say it together, everybody.
15:08
SPEAKER_03: Distraction.
15:10
SPEAKER_03: Oh team! It's like one mic.
15:11
SPEAKER_03: We're really getting to know one another.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: Thunder.
15:14
SPEAKER_03: I think the smoke pipe's my best option.
15:16
SPEAKER_03: Well, you could team them both up.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:19
SPEAKER_03: But imagine both.
15:21
SPEAKER_05: God, some really good ideas flowing around here today, guys.
15:24
SPEAKER_05: To make it look like, well, they're all they know about the bad guy that's coming is that he comes in smoke.
15:30
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yes.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: I could also do um thunder waves.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: Or, guys, um, I don't know if you think this would distract them, but dancing light?
15:41
SPEAKER_03: No, no.
15:42
SPEAKER_03: Thunderwave! Would that distract them?
15:45
SPEAKER_01: Dancing light!
15:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, let's just be let's play our characters.
15:50
SPEAKER_03: It stands in light and thunder, mate.
15:51
SPEAKER_03: That's what we would do.
15:52
SPEAKER_03: That is what Dawn and Fanny would do.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, okay.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, magic mouth.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: Hello.
15:59
SPEAKER_03: Smoke pipe monster.
16:02
SPEAKER_05: So that's what we'll leave you to go.
16:05
SPEAKER_05: Good.
16:06
SPEAKER_05: Fair meat.
16:06
SPEAKER_05: All right, good job.
16:08
SPEAKER_05: Bell Futler, who is in the house.
16:09
SPEAKER_02: Doing my time, going alright.
16:12
SPEAKER_02: Don't we get it?
16:13
SPEAKER_05: You got a suit?
16:14
SPEAKER_01: Where'd you get a suit from?
16:16
SPEAKER_05: Don't you worry about it.
16:17
SPEAKER_05: Great back, boogie.
16:20
SPEAKER_05: So you are in a room, there is a table, there is five chairs, so there's two on the other side, and then there's three chairs.
16:27
SPEAKER_05: You're sat in one, Shawn Michaels is sat in the other, and Mika is sat in the third chair.
16:33
SPEAKER_05: You're told that loyal your your loyals will be coming to speak to you.
16:37
SPEAKER_05: So this is where I'm gonna open it out to the group.
16:40
SPEAKER_05: If Kate and Gareth want to come up with two loyal characters they can use to represent Bill Futler.
16:47
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
16:48
SPEAKER_03: Already got him.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: What's yours?
16:50
SPEAKER_03: Uh Newsflash.
16:52
SPEAKER_03: He's Welsh.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh because Barnes are Southern American man.
16:57
SPEAKER_02: And I'm on a many McConaughey type in Mississippi burning, really, kinda.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, well, I never.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: Not my monkey, not my circus.
17:11
SPEAKER_02: Not my monkeys.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's coming up a lot.
17:15
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
17:17
SPEAKER_05: So the dual, uh, you've got characters, ladies?
17:20
SPEAKER_05: Uh do we need names?
17:21
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you can come up with anything you want, literally any direction you want to take.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: I said, Okay.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: Hello, my name's Scarface.
17:29
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what you're referencing.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm my name's Scarface.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what that is.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: Scarface is just my name.
17:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're the legendary lawyer from Neverwinter.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, we've heard so much about you.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: From who?
17:48
SPEAKER_02: Well, there's been a lot of talk around the the city who's gonna represent them, and we were like, well, who's there?
17:55
SPEAKER_02: And they were like, Scarface is the best.
17:58
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
17:59
SPEAKER_03: Well, I feel almost a bit embarrassed introducing myself after the Scarface, but I'm Stacy Clenethly.
18:06
SPEAKER_02: Fire that cunt.
18:08
SPEAKER_03: All right.
18:09
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, I am representing you, and that's I'll be honest with you, a bit of a bit of an aggressive start.
18:14
SPEAKER_03: Could I look past it?
18:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm afraid you have failed the first test.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: We're a lawyer duo, and the uh everyone thinks I'm the brains, but I'm just the vi the visionary.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: Uh, what'd you say your name was, Love?
18:26
SPEAKER_03: My name is Stacy Clenettely.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: Stacy is the real brains behind the operation.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: So if you want more work with me, you work with Stacy.
18:35
SPEAKER_02: Thank you very much, Skaffy.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: I really do not advise that at this point.
18:46
SPEAKER_03: Well, who are you?
18:47
SPEAKER_03: Because I'll be honest, as two trained lawyers, okay.
18:51
SPEAKER_03: Well, but I've met you for I've known you for five minutes, but you're coming across like a bit of an aggressive moron.
18:57
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
18:57
SPEAKER_03: Because I think you should let us take care of this for you, because look, I've read your case.
19:03
SPEAKER_03: I think you've got a good case.
19:05
SPEAKER_03: I think me and Scarface will win this dead easy.
19:08
SPEAKER_03: So don't worry about it, love.
19:10
SPEAKER_03: You're in good hands.
19:11
SPEAKER_02: Okay, fine.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: Whatever.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: What?
19:13
SPEAKER_02: What?
19:14
SPEAKER_02: What?
19:14
SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, yeah, okay, then.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna be able to do that?
19:19
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what what's the case about okay, Stacy and Scarface, thank you for being here.
19:24
SPEAKER_02: What are my charges?
19:26
SPEAKER_02: What are they charging me with?
19:27
SPEAKER_00: They're charging you with uh manslaughter, murder, please, please, parson, murder, stepping.
19:35
SPEAKER_05: So the charges against both are murder in the first degree.
19:39
SPEAKER_02: Murder in the first degree.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, no, I happen.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: It didn't happen now.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: Scarface uh brings out a pencil, dabs it uh the tip on the end of his tongue.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: Let me just uh go over this.
19:52
SPEAKER_03: Murder in the first degree.
19:54
SPEAKER_03: These are the charges up against you today.
19:57
SPEAKER_03: I think there's more.
19:58
SPEAKER_03: Murder in the first degree, treason and lewd axe in a public place.
20:04
SPEAKER_03: When what was that?
20:06
SPEAKER_03: What did I do in the public place?
20:08
SPEAKER_03: I think it's probably referring.
20:11
SPEAKER_00: We think you know.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: I think you know what you did.
20:15
SPEAKER_02: My fruit basket out to anybody.
20:17
SPEAKER_00: I think you know what you did.
20:19
SPEAKER_03: You went up to a young member of the public and said, gaze upon my fruit bowl.
20:24
SPEAKER_03: And that's not really on now, is it?
20:27
SPEAKER_03: I think we can all agree that's a bit out of order.
20:29
SPEAKER_03: And also it's not enough to put you away, so don't worry.
20:33
SPEAKER_03: But I will be pleading guilty to that one if I were you, because you are a bit of a danger.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: And also, when you said gaze upon my fruit bowl, everyone knew the way you said it.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: You were like G-A-Y-S, like gaze upon my fruitball.
20:47
SPEAKER_03: It wasn't luck.
20:48
SPEAKER_03: It was your right.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: So you said it wrong, too.
20:51
SPEAKER_03: It was derogatory.
20:52
SPEAKER_03: There was no Zeds.
20:52
SPEAKER_03: We wanted to hear Zed's and we didn't hear them.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: All right, so we got murder, first degree, treason, loot X.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: But the thing is, that's the same, it's the same deal for Sean.
21:05
SPEAKER_00: So both of you are being um accused of the same crime.
21:08
SPEAKER_02: Sean's leg's still broken, by the way.
21:11
SPEAKER_02: Insight?
21:12
SPEAKER_02: Like I can't even just hey Sean, did you like that?
21:15
SPEAKER_00: No, I don't want to be insight.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: I want to be around.
21:19
SPEAKER_05: What is that?
21:19
SPEAKER_05: 19.
21:20
SPEAKER_05: I gotta No looks like that there's absolutely no damage to Sean's.
21:23
SPEAKER_05: So he's back in fighting form, man.
21:26
SPEAKER_03: Friars.
21:30
SPEAKER_02: Excuse me, Scarface and Stacey.
21:32
SPEAKER_02: I just want to find out if my friend's leg is still broken.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: It looks fine to me.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: Because uh I think he's got a magic hand.
21:39
SPEAKER_02: What is in this room, by the way, other than that.
21:42
SPEAKER_05: There's just a table.
21:43
SPEAKER_05: I think you the the lawyers have a file with them.
21:46
SPEAKER_05: I'm just writing it out there now.
21:48
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
21:48
SPEAKER_05: And then it's just chairs and a light.
21:50
SPEAKER_05: There's nothing else.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: There's like a candle scented.
21:54
SPEAKER_05: Right, a scented candle.
21:55
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna walk over, I'm gonna open the door and just peek out.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: What's outside?
22:01
SPEAKER_03: What's yeah, I don't know.
22:02
SPEAKER_03: Oh, the doors locked out in it.
22:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, well, you'd be in you're about to go to trial.
22:06
SPEAKER_03: I don't think they just let you wander about.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: The guards locked it behind us.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: That's standard.
22:12
SPEAKER_03: So am I?
22:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's standard.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: Now, do you like the smell in here?
22:21
SPEAKER_00: We made sure we got you.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna sit here and wait until somebody fuck it brings me to wherever.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: So I'm in obviously a little uh uh little what interrogation room or whatever.
22:35
SPEAKER_03: Right, let's tell you what, this is I think this is a good idea.
22:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, I'm just gonna here's where I'm gonna go listen.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna wait until the trial comes in.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: He's too obviously Mr.
22:45
SPEAKER_03: Futler.
22:46
SPEAKER_03: I I have an idea to put towards yourself in Scarface.
22:49
SPEAKER_03: Why don't we do a little roleplay?
22:54
SPEAKER_03: Why don't you roleplay as you and we'll roleplay as the other lawyers and see if you can bat away the arguments that they might put forward for you to do it?
23:05
SPEAKER_03: Because it's not looking good.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: It's not looking good.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: We know we've we've heard buzzings that they're after you.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: They want to get you good and lock you away forever.
23:16
SPEAKER_02: They do.
23:16
SPEAKER_02: That is a very fact.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: So we want we want to make sure that we can do whatever we can to help and get you out of here.
23:23
SPEAKER_03: All right, okay, so I'm gonna kick off the role playing here because I don't know if it's getting violent or uh something.
23:30
SPEAKER_03: No.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: He keeps laughing at me.
23:31
SPEAKER_03: I don't know why I'm gonna say so let's kick off the role play.
23:34
SPEAKER_03: Phil, I'm gonna put forward some questions to you.
23:36
SPEAKER_03: Let's imagine we're in court now.
23:38
SPEAKER_03: So defend yourself, all right?
23:40
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be I didn't do it! Right, okay.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I like that.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: That was a good that was a good insight.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: It came from the heart, didn't it?
23:46
SPEAKER_03: It came and I believed you as well.
23:48
SPEAKER_03: But you know, listen to this.
23:49
SPEAKER_03: How about this then?
23:50
SPEAKER_03: The body of Derek Littlehammer completely destroyed by multiple attacks.
23:55
SPEAKER_03: I put it to you.
23:57
SPEAKER_03: You were the reason there was multiple attacks to Derek Littlehammer's body.
24:02
SPEAKER_03: What do you have to say about that, you dirty little pervert?
24:05
SPEAKER_00: Excuse the smell.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: I absolutely pissed myself.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: That was so scary to me.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: Well that was that was good, wasn't it?
24:13
SPEAKER_02: Well, I am a lawyer.
24:15
SPEAKER_02: You are a lawyer.
24:15
SPEAKER_02: Very good lawyer.
24:16
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
24:17
SPEAKER_02: Uh well, Derek volunteered.
24:20
SPEAKER_03: He can't do that.
24:21
SPEAKER_02: Volunteered.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: He volunteered to go on the adventure.
24:24
SPEAKER_02: He asked us to go and get prime evil.
24:28
SPEAKER_03: He asked us, he volunteered.
24:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, I am finding this a little hard to believe that he volunteered himself to be completely destroyed.
24:38
SPEAKER_03: We were all in danger at the time.
24:40
SPEAKER_03: Well, you seem to come out of it.
24:43
SPEAKER_03: You seem to come out of it fairly unarmed.
24:45
SPEAKER_03: Uh unarmed.
24:47
SPEAKER_03: That's because damaged.
24:48
SPEAKER_03: Whereas Mr.
24:50
SPEAKER_03: Littlehammer completely destroyed.
24:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
24:53
SPEAKER_03: Defend yourself.
24:54
SPEAKER_02: I just did.
24:55
SPEAKER_02: We were all, he asked us to go up there.
24:59
SPEAKER_02: I believe it was him.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: And we went.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: Be more short about that on the day.
25:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:04
SPEAKER_02: And then he got, he got, he actually took the first few hits and then he died, and then we just took him up the stairs.
25:12
SPEAKER_02: You're right, I'm guilty.
25:16
SPEAKER_03: We're gonna have to fight our way out of this.
25:18
SPEAKER_03: Right.
25:18
SPEAKER_03: I actually thought that was going quite well up until the bit you said, you're right, I'm guilty.
25:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
25:23
SPEAKER_03: But up until that, I think that's a good a good point you make there.
25:26
SPEAKER_03: It was his idea.
25:27
SPEAKER_03: It all came from him.
25:29
SPEAKER_03: He led the group, he found himself in bodily harm.
25:32
SPEAKER_03: That's not on you.
25:33
SPEAKER_03: Let's leave out the bet about you throwing his dead body around after.
25:36
SPEAKER_03: I think we should not be able to do it.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: No one can prove that.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: No one can prove that.
25:40
SPEAKER_03: No one can prove it.
25:40
SPEAKER_03: Let's not bring it up.
25:42
SPEAKER_03: Other than that, good instincts.
25:43
SPEAKER_03: Right.
25:44
SPEAKER_03: That's Stacy now.
25:45
SPEAKER_03: And now I'm gonna go back to the other, the other guy.
25:50
SPEAKER_03: There was There was a witness.
25:53
SPEAKER_03: You do this one.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: This candle is scented a birthday cake.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: And I need you to on the stand whenever you're feeling stressed.
26:01
SPEAKER_03: Scarce, do you want to maybe eyes on the prize a bit, you know?
26:04
SPEAKER_03: Whenever you're stressed.
26:06
SPEAKER_03: We don't need to be talking about birthdays out.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh god, you're right.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: She is fucking annoying.
26:09
SPEAKER_00: Um whenever you're stressed out on the stand, I want you to just breathe in and remember, oh my god, I love birthdays.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: And that'll calm you right down.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: Because that'll calm you right down.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: You don't want to say you're guilty.
26:20
SPEAKER_03: That second point there, Scarcese.
26:22
SPEAKER_03: Let's get to it.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: Witness Peggy Littlehammer.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: Uh-oh.
26:26
SPEAKER_02: Uh-oh.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: You had a witness?
26:28
SPEAKER_02: Uh, I don't believe she was there.
26:30
SPEAKER_00: Who who what do you know about Peggy Littlehammer?
26:35
SPEAKER_02: She was her husband.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: She was her husband?
26:40
SPEAKER_00: Are you drunk right now?
26:44
SPEAKER_03: She wasn't.
26:45
SPEAKER_03: So say that.
26:45
SPEAKER_03: She wasn't a witch.
26:46
SPEAKER_03: She wasn't there then.
26:48
SPEAKER_03: She wasn't there.
26:48
SPEAKER_03: It's impossible for there to be a witness when she wasn't there.
26:51
SPEAKER_03: Believe in yourself.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, she was a witness, and when she saw the city.
26:54
SPEAKER_02: What did she see?
26:55
SPEAKER_02: You gotta let she leave.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: It's insane to me to ask the question I'm currently answering.
27:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: She saw Derek leave with Bill and Co.
27:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:07
SPEAKER_02: She was she saw us leave.
27:10
SPEAKER_02: But again, I want it to be said that it was their idea for us to go up there to save their village.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
27:19
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: We also wanted to be reminded that for we also went down and killed a frog.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: Birthday cake, birthday cake.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: You're getting stressed out.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: Birthday cake, breathe it in.
27:31
SPEAKER_02: We killed a big frog.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: Smell dangerous.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: And we save them and they wanted us to go up there.
27:36
SPEAKER_02: I can't help it.
27:37
SPEAKER_02: There's look, look.
27:39
SPEAKER_02: There's danger on the stairs, and sometimes people die.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, um What about the frog?
27:46
SPEAKER_02: Are we gonna am I just No, we're not talking about the frog because guess what?
27:49
SPEAKER_02: Because I murdered the frog, too.
27:51
SPEAKER_02: Don't admit that.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: Don't admit that on the date.
27:53
SPEAKER_03: Don't do that on the date.
27:54
SPEAKER_00: Because they don't know about it.
27:56
SPEAKER_03: Get all your mistakes out now.
27:57
SPEAKER_03: This is good.
27:57
SPEAKER_03: This is good.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: So just remember, don't mention the frog at all.
28:00
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
28:01
SPEAKER_03: Um, but don't mention anything you murdered, actually.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: Then why, if you're so innocent, are you to be a known associate of people trafficker Alan Lilly?
28:13
SPEAKER_00: You were seen entering and exiting his pussy palace.
28:16
SPEAKER_03: Alan was uh did I?
28:19
SPEAKER_03: No, no, that now this one you can argue because we do that there's proof to that.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: There's video, we have some sort of magic video type stuff.
28:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, it's called CC TV, let's say that.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: Comic.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: No, what is it?
28:33
SPEAKER_03: CQ TV, Comic Quest television.
28:37
SPEAKER_03: And you were seen on it, Leave in the Pussy Palace.
28:39
SPEAKER_03: So don't deny.
28:40
SPEAKER_02: How would I what?
28:41
SPEAKER_02: When did Oh, we went into the pussy.
28:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's right.
28:45
SPEAKER_05: We're in the pussy.
28:46
SPEAKER_05: You're also you also traded your friendship with Alan, so you're a known friend of Oh, I'm a known friend of Alan.
28:53
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
28:55
SPEAKER_02: Uh I don't know what you're talking about.
28:57
SPEAKER_02: I'll plead the it's do they have the fifth here in Neverwend.
29:03
SPEAKER_02: I plead the sixth.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: Well, what does that mean?
29:08
SPEAKER_02: That means I don't want to talk about it.
29:11
SPEAKER_02: Uh I don't want to.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: But you have to, you're on the court.
29:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's not a great answer, to be honest.
29:16
SPEAKER_03: I don't want to talk about it.
29:18
SPEAKER_03: Makes you sound a little bit guilty.
29:20
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: Alan Lilly is a bad, bad man.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to be associated with it?
29:24
SPEAKER_02: You guys are making me feel guilty already.
29:27
SPEAKER_02: And like as my lawyers, we're doing this as an exercise.
29:31
SPEAKER_03: We are, but the more you feel as bad on the game.
29:35
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
29:36
SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm sorry you're not defending yourself very well.
29:38
SPEAKER_03: I'm like doing the best.
29:42
SPEAKER_02: What am I how am I supposed to say I wasn't at the Pussy Palace?
29:47
SPEAKER_02: But you killed me.
29:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
29:50
SPEAKER_02: How can I tell you?
29:52
SPEAKER_02: Like, do you want to know why I went there?
29:54
SPEAKER_02: That would be good.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: Maybe let's start there.
29:56
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
29:57
SPEAKER_02: Well, we went there because fucking uh what's it?
30:01
SPEAKER_02: Who's the who's the who's the drunk in our Don.
30:05
SPEAKER_00: Don.
30:05
SPEAKER_00: Don Baltry, I believe it's great.
30:08
SPEAKER_02: No.
30:08
SPEAKER_02: Ouch.
30:10
SPEAKER_02: My buddy Don wanted to go there.
30:13
SPEAKER_02: I was just sort of.
30:15
SPEAKER_03: You were being that's a suggestion of a I was being now see we can use that.
30:23
SPEAKER_03: Oh, we can use that.
30:24
SPEAKER_03: You got very angry at us, but that's a very good answer.
30:27
SPEAKER_03: And well done for finding it on your own.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: Because right now, Bill, you're you're actually the victim in this situation.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
30:35
SPEAKER_03: What we need to do.
30:36
SPEAKER_03: We need to paint an argument if Phil is a very good thing.
30:40
SPEAKER_03: You know what?
30:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm starting to like you guys a little bit more now.
30:44
SPEAKER_02: Thank you very much.
30:45
SPEAKER_03: I'm warming to you as well.
30:47
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: I honestly don't care about either of you.
30:52
SPEAKER_03: You know what, Scarface?
30:54
SPEAKER_03: You've got such a good reputation, but I think you're being a bit of a cunt.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm way too old to be in this job.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to retire years ago.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: But now I make I make my own scented candles.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: That business ain't booming.
31:06
SPEAKER_03: I love your candles.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to move into the scented candles.
31:14
SPEAKER_03: Hell to pee.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: How are people to buy my candles if they don't know they exist?
31:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but we're not promoting a store.
31:21
SPEAKER_03: We're trying to defend.
31:22
SPEAKER_02: Me and Sean are just sitting there going, all right, we're dead.
31:26
SPEAKER_02: Let's get in there.
31:27
SPEAKER_02: I was just gonna use charm.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: Okay, here's lawyers.
31:30
SPEAKER_02: This was my big plan.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: Hey, bud.
31:32
SPEAKER_02: I was gonna use charm person on the draw.
31:35
SPEAKER_02: Judge to like me.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: Oh, this judge is actually the hardest judge in the entire district.
31:43
SPEAKER_03: Who is it, I'll say this.
31:45
SPEAKER_03: We only get paid if you get off.
31:48
SPEAKER_03: So let's all get off.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: The judge is.
31:52
SPEAKER_03: If you want to charm the judge, I don't hate that plan.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh, but but remember, Stacy.
31:58
SPEAKER_03: You can try with men like that accent.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: Try.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: Guys, holy heck, you're really grinding my grits.
32:08
SPEAKER_01: You shut the fuck up.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: You're really grinding my grits, all right?
32:13
SPEAKER_00: Because guess what?
32:14
SPEAKER_00: If you uh charm the judge, that means nothing.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: We all know the judge is actually in being controlled by the big tall old guy.
32:22
SPEAKER_03: Now, see, do we know that?
32:24
SPEAKER_03: Or does Kate know that?
32:26
SPEAKER_00: No.
32:28
SPEAKER_01: Well.
32:31
SPEAKER_03: Noah.
32:33
SPEAKER_03: No.
32:34
SPEAKER_00: Um everyone in the land knows that.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: Well, this like I said before.
32:41
SPEAKER_00: What I said before, and you didn't listen to me, is that this is a kangaroo court.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: All right.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: We can't just rely on charm.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: Is there no one who can maybe get you out of this mess?
32:51
SPEAKER_06: Well.
32:52
SPEAKER_00: Can we contact them for you?
32:54
SPEAKER_02: It's really not very long if you're saying what.
32:58
SPEAKER_02: I don't even know anyone.
32:59
SPEAKER_02: If you're part of the court and you're trying to oh God.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: We are part of a corrupt system, and I'm too old to give a shit.
33:07
SPEAKER_02: Well, I tell you what, I've just been thinking about it.
33:09
SPEAKER_03: I've just had a brain wave.
33:12
SPEAKER_03: You do when we're in court, you can call witnesses.
33:19
SPEAKER_03: And I think you should probably call Don Baldree and Phanyas Bigwent.
33:24
SPEAKER_02: How do I know you're not part of this kangaroo?
33:29
SPEAKER_00: Stacey, this feels like a trap to get all of them in one place.
33:32
SPEAKER_00: And then something evil to happen.
33:34
SPEAKER_03: Like you guys are.
33:35
SPEAKER_03: Well, I don't know if it is a trap.
33:36
SPEAKER_03: That note to me on a plate from our DM, Liam Farrelly.
33:42
SPEAKER_03: And if it is a trap, I will fucking be annoyed at him because he's he's set me up there a cup and how do I know that you are proper?
33:52
SPEAKER_02: You know what?
33:52
SPEAKER_02: I might take a point from how do I know you're proper lawyers and you're not trying to get me to roll inside.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: Roll inside.
34:01
SPEAKER_00: He got it too.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: Got it too.
34:04
SPEAKER_05: So from what you can tell, these are real lawyers you're on your side.
34:07
SPEAKER_02: From what I can tell, but I can't trust myself.
34:09
SPEAKER_02: I got a two, for fuck's sakes.
34:10
SPEAKER_02: I'm just you don't know you got a two, though.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I kind of do.
34:14
SPEAKER_02: Kind of go, uh, you've never really been a good judge of it.
34:17
SPEAKER_03: Another good idea as a witness that I've just bloody come up with off the top of my head now, would be to call uh Bane the blacksmith.
34:25
SPEAKER_03: That would be a good idea.
34:25
SPEAKER_03: Bean being that's what I said.
34:27
SPEAKER_03: It's my Welsh lilt.
34:28
SPEAKER_03: That's don't take me off on that.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: Bane's a lesbian.
34:33
SPEAKER_03: And and may I ask why?
34:35
SPEAKER_03: What happens if I pun as Stacey?
34:38
SPEAKER_05: Well, the pun stuff stopped after the show.
34:40
SPEAKER_03: But it was too much.
34:42
SPEAKER_03: And I forgot about that, and I've just remembered that right now.
34:45
SPEAKER_03: So leave it with me.
34:47
SPEAKER_03: Leave it with me.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: Lesbian Q.
34:52
SPEAKER_03: I think it was Bean's wife called Flickma.
34:56
SPEAKER_03: I think I've already done that one.
34:57
SPEAKER_03: I think I've already done that.
34:58
SPEAKER_03: You've absolutely done that.
34:59
SPEAKER_03: You've absolutely done that.
35:02
SPEAKER_03: No, right, let's get back on bloody track here.
35:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:05
SPEAKER_01: So how about we low base our nuts?
35:10
SPEAKER_05: So let's let's lay out your case that you're gonna make.
35:15
SPEAKER_05: Well, we've already done we're done.
35:17
SPEAKER_02: We know what's going on.
35:19
SPEAKER_02: I've been sex trafficked to Alan at the Pussy Palace.
35:22
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna bring in Bane as our witness, whatever.
35:26
SPEAKER_02: Bean?
35:26
SPEAKER_02: Beans was it Bean?
35:28
SPEAKER_05: Bean's gonna corroborate that you've been sex trafficked.
35:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, of course.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: Whatever.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: We'll figure it out as we go along.
35:34
SPEAKER_02: Why would you say that he Yeah.
35:35
SPEAKER_02: Why would you say that?
35:36
SPEAKER_00: No, Bean, this is about the death of Derek Littlehammer that Bean can speak to.
35:41
SPEAKER_02: I don't know where to go.
35:43
SPEAKER_02: I'm like going, I'm here.
35:45
SPEAKER_02: I got my lawyers.
35:47
SPEAKER_02: I already know.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what's gonna happen until I get into that courtroom.
35:51
SPEAKER_02: There's no doubt in my mind.
35:53
SPEAKER_02: I've already I've heard all the things.
35:56
SPEAKER_02: Okay, fine.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: It looks like you've given up.
35:57
SPEAKER_00: Do you want a last court?
35:59
SPEAKER_00: I've not given up.
36:02
SPEAKER_03: And why is it gonna be a candle?
36:04
SPEAKER_00: What are you ordering for your last meal?
36:06
SPEAKER_00: We'll get it up for you, just in case.
36:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm up barbecue chips.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: Like Chris?
36:12
SPEAKER_02: Barbecue chips?
36:16
SPEAKER_00: This man doesn't care anymore, Stacy.
36:18
SPEAKER_00: Look what you've done.
36:19
SPEAKER_03: He really is defeated, isn't he?
36:21
SPEAKER_03: It's sad.
36:22
SPEAKER_03: I want him to believe that there's a case, you know, but he just doesn't.
36:26
SPEAKER_03: I look at him and I go, he's fucking lost in his head already.
36:29
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
36:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh my fucking God.
36:32
SPEAKER_02: Can we go to the court?
36:35
SPEAKER_02: Can we get this over with?
36:37
SPEAKER_02: I get it.
36:38
SPEAKER_02: I get it.
36:39
SPEAKER_03: We haven't ordered your food yet.
36:40
SPEAKER_03: Barbecue chips and anything for dessert.
36:45
SPEAKER_01: Bill doesn't like the roleplay.
36:49
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
36:50
SPEAKER_05: So are you are you wanting to get a case together that the user's basically gonna be able to do that?
36:54
SPEAKER_05: We've got a case together.
36:56
SPEAKER_05: We have a case.
36:56
SPEAKER_05: We already got the case.
36:58
SPEAKER_02: What do you think this is, buddy?
37:00
SPEAKER_01: Won't it take a while to get bean from from a thornhold?
37:04
SPEAKER_05: No, they transported through magic.
37:06
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
37:06
SPEAKER_01: Well, magic, but wait a second.
37:12
SPEAKER_02: So so these are my lawyers.
37:14
SPEAKER_02: We've just gone through this.
37:16
SPEAKER_05: Do you want me to I'll I'll lay out the evidence they have against you, right?
37:20
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
37:21
SPEAKER_05: Obviously, I've got a I'm not gonna win.
37:24
SPEAKER_02: So this is the this is this is already Well, you don't know it.
37:27
SPEAKER_05: The fuck is wrong with you?
37:28
SPEAKER_05: Believe in yourself, mate.
37:30
SPEAKER_02: I think I've been patient listening.
37:33
SPEAKER_05: I'll I'll explain.
37:35
SPEAKER_05: So uh basically how this is gonna work is they're gonna the other side are gonna present evidence, right?
37:41
SPEAKER_02: And then you'll both the other side, that's how it's gonna work.
37:44
SPEAKER_05: It's the other side's gonna pred.
37:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay, that's cool.
37:47
SPEAKER_02: Of course they are.
37:48
SPEAKER_02: That's how that's how all trials work.
37:50
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but then you'll present your counterargument to it, and you're both gonna roll.
37:54
SPEAKER_05: Whoever gets the highest roll has won that side of the argument.
37:58
SPEAKER_05: So it's all gonna come down to dice rolls, but you still, if you just get up there and basically just go, eh, then I'll No, I've already said what I thought.
38:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I've already said.
38:07
SPEAKER_02: I've said he's the guy that wanted us to go up there.
38:11
SPEAKER_02: He came in the party, he asked us to go up there.
38:14
SPEAKER_02: It wasn't our thing.
38:15
SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure about the sex trafficking.
38:17
SPEAKER_02: Winning argument palace, but whatever.
38:19
SPEAKER_02: That's a winning argument.
38:20
SPEAKER_02: I think it's I think it's the argument.
38:23
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so they are gonna present three things against you.
38:26
SPEAKER_05: What I'm saying is you can call other witnesses and do other things and present your own evidence to gain more than the biggest.
38:32
SPEAKER_05: But I hope a boat just comes through that thing.
38:35
SPEAKER_05: Fucking rescues me.
38:36
SPEAKER_00: What else you wanna eat?
38:39
SPEAKER_05: Where did we land on dessert?
38:42
SPEAKER_05: So if you're ready, you can just go into the court if you want to.
38:45
SPEAKER_01: It seems like Bill would like that.
38:47
SPEAKER_05: As we're walking into the court, can we just hear BACKI Black Fries?
38:52
SPEAKER_05: So you enter the courtroom, it's a big kind of opulent space, it's sandstone.
38:58
SPEAKER_05: There's kind of it is like pews and stuff like that.
39:01
SPEAKER_05: Uh up in front, you see Good luck, buddy.
39:05
SPEAKER_05: You see two desks, Sean and Bill and Mika are all sat at one desk.
39:12
SPEAKER_05: The other desk is currently empty.
39:14
SPEAKER_05: Uh you are all chained to each other, uh, and then the judge uh is We're chained to each other.
39:20
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so you so you're chained to Sean, Sean's chain to Mika.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: Scarface's briefcase tumbles open and 500 mini candle samples.
39:29
SPEAKER_03: For fuck's sake, I knew it.
39:31
SPEAKER_03: I knew elaborate, bloody bring it up of these.
39:36
SPEAKER_01: And he does that thing of like, oh and he turns he tries to get them all back into his briefcase, but it's hopeless.
39:43
SPEAKER_05: The prostitution entls at his uh he's got red skin and pointed eels, he's got horns, he's wearing like a three-piece suit.
39:54
SPEAKER_05: He looks very sharp.
39:55
SPEAKER_05: He's called Vincenzo Gambino.
39:57
SPEAKER_03: I've never beat Vincenzo.
39:59
SPEAKER_03: Vincenzo's always.
40:01
SPEAKER_00: Is he the devil?
40:02
SPEAKER_00: He's just Italian.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: I thought that was gonna land better, I'm gonna be honest.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: Vincenzo Gambino.
40:08
SPEAKER_05: So Vincenzo walks over and he goes, I'm Vincenzo Gambino.
40:14
SPEAKER_00: This is right after Gareth has uh slammed Liam for doing only Scottish voices.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's affected your choice.
40:22
SPEAKER_03: That's really good though.
40:23
SPEAKER_03: I like this one.
40:24
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna present you a deal.
40:26
SPEAKER_03: You want a deal?
40:27
SPEAKER_03: Vincenzo, I can't he's in my bloody head.
40:29
SPEAKER_03: I can't.
40:30
SPEAKER_03: I can't forgot all about that.
40:32
SPEAKER_03: What's the deal?
40:33
SPEAKER_03: What's the deal?
40:33
SPEAKER_03: What's the deal?
40:34
SPEAKER_03: What's the deal, Vincenzo?
40:36
SPEAKER_05: Quick execution.
40:38
SPEAKER_00: Whoa, that's not a deal at all.
40:41
SPEAKER_05: That's not a deal, Vincenzo.
40:42
SPEAKER_05: Okay, well, I've been going for a long, drawn-out execution then.
40:47
SPEAKER_00: Dude, you we go Oh, wait.
40:49
SPEAKER_03: What about option number three, you bread bastard?
40:52
SPEAKER_03: What about Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
40:55
SPEAKER_00: Vincenzo, you gotta cut down on the cocaine.
40:58
SPEAKER_00: You absolutely slack.
41:01
SPEAKER_03: Our man is innocent, and he will walk out of this courtroom today.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Vincenzo.
41:08
SPEAKER_03: That man's gonna end up in a spike.
41:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's not fair.
41:12
SPEAKER_03: Agree to disagree, Gambino.
41:14
SPEAKER_00: You've you've prejudged this man, and that's what we promise not to do what before we go into court.
41:20
SPEAKER_03: Do not remember the oath, Gambino.
41:22
SPEAKER_03: Your scarf face.
41:23
SPEAKER_00: And the prosecution! Yeah, you're unlikable as what you are.
41:28
SPEAKER_00: Wait, fuck.
41:29
SPEAKER_00: You're unlikable is what you are.
41:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, really, you could do with work on your people skills.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: And guess what else?
41:34
SPEAKER_00: Your breast stinks.
41:36
SPEAKER_00: You be something that smells like you've been eating fish.
41:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you yeah, you yeah.
41:40
SPEAKER_03: You smell you fish eater.
41:42
SPEAKER_02: You smell like one of our candles that wouldn't sell at all.
41:44
SPEAKER_02: You smell like my buddy Bill's wife.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: Wait, you're Bill.
41:50
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
41:50
SPEAKER_02: No, but Don.
41:52
SPEAKER_02: Don.
41:52
SPEAKER_02: Bill.
41:53
SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
41:53
SPEAKER_02: Don.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: He doesn't even know who he needs to do it.
41:56
SPEAKER_00: All right, Mr.
41:57
SPEAKER_00: Vince.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: Vincenzo Gambino.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: We have a deal offer for you.
42:02
SPEAKER_00: All right, right, Stacey?
42:04
SPEAKER_00: We have a deal offer to present to Vincenzo Gambino.
42:07
SPEAKER_00: Take it away.
42:09
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
42:10
SPEAKER_03: Right.
42:10
SPEAKER_03: Well, the deal we want to offer you is this.
42:13
SPEAKER_03: Let our man walk free today.
42:16
SPEAKER_00: Both of them.
42:17
SPEAKER_03: Both of them.
42:18
SPEAKER_03: Our men, our three boys, our three good, pure-hearted boys.
42:23
SPEAKER_03: They will walk free today.
42:25
SPEAKER_03: And what we will do for that is Scarface.
42:33
SPEAKER_01: Hand job.
42:34
SPEAKER_01: Hand job.
42:35
SPEAKER_03: Oh, scarface.
42:37
SPEAKER_03: Scarface, no.
42:38
SPEAKER_03: Scarface.
42:41
SPEAKER_03: Scarface.
42:41
SPEAKER_03: We have to have a bit more bloody integrity.
42:43
SPEAKER_03: Hand jobs.
42:44
SPEAKER_03: And why do I think I'm gonna be the one dishing it out as well?
42:47
SPEAKER_03: Why do I that alright, done do him, Vincenzo?
42:50
SPEAKER_03: You want it.
42:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: A bunch of hand jobs.
42:53
SPEAKER_00: No dash.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: What the heck?
42:56
SPEAKER_00: That's a good deal.
42:58
SPEAKER_03: That's a really good deal.
43:00
unknown: Good deal.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, okay.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: Money?
43:03
SPEAKER_05: I do look like a man who can't get his own hand jobs.
43:06
SPEAKER_02: A little bit.
43:07
SPEAKER_02: A little bit, yeah.
43:09
SPEAKER_02: The horns really freak us all out.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: Hot to the touch and spicy to the feel.
43:14
SPEAKER_03: You're like if Darth Maud was Randy Savage, the macho man.
43:21
SPEAKER_00: And we don't, and that's just references we're pulling from the ether.
43:27
SPEAKER_05: So if a chance just walks away and the judge walks in, the judge is um a very tall centaur.
43:36
SPEAKER_05: He's got a long beard.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: I told you this was the toughest judge in all the district.
43:44
SPEAKER_05: His name is Judge Hammerforth.
43:48
SPEAKER_05: Hammer?
43:48
SPEAKER_00: Damn it.
43:49
SPEAKER_00: He's got connections to Thunderhold because his last name is Hammer in it.
43:53
SPEAKER_00: So that means you're under you're gonna be fucked, I think.
43:56
SPEAKER_03: We're in a little bit of trouble over there.
43:58
SPEAKER_03: I think this is worse than Well Venture.
44:00
SPEAKER_03: Vincenzo, let me tell you this.
44:02
SPEAKER_03: He's gone.
44:02
SPEAKER_03: You will Is he?
44:03
SPEAKER_03: Is he gone?
44:04
SPEAKER_03: Vincenzo what?
44:05
SPEAKER_03: Raket as Vincenzo stays in the other slabs.
44:08
SPEAKER_03: He goes, Well, Vincenzo, if you're not gonna take my bloody hand job, I guess I'll have to beat you off in there.
44:16
SPEAKER_03: With my legal stuff.
44:17
SPEAKER_05: Hammerfoff's my legal knowledge.
44:19
SPEAKER_05: Hammerfoff slams down a garden and he's like, silence in the court.
44:27
SPEAKER_02: I'm I I'm letting my lawyers do the talk for me.
44:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh, good.
44:32
SPEAKER_03: That was the lawyer going.
44:34
SPEAKER_03: Good luck.
44:36
SPEAKER_05: So Vincenzo's gonna present his opening argument.
44:39
SPEAKER_05: So Vincenzo.
44:41
SPEAKER_05: Vincenzo stands up and goes.
44:46
SPEAKER_05: Today we're in this court because this man is on trial for murder.
44:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, you're gonna blow your voice up from doing this.
44:57
SPEAKER_00: I love it so much.
44:58
SPEAKER_00: Murder!
45:00
SPEAKER_05: He killed Derek Littlehammer, a simple man who cared about his community.
45:06
SPEAKER_05: All he wanted was to care for the people of Fawnhold.
45:10
SPEAKER_05: No one cares about the people of Fawnhold anymore, because he killed him.
45:14
SPEAKER_05: And so did his scientists.
45:15
SPEAKER_05: Your Honor, I object.
45:18
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
45:19
SPEAKER_02: Am I allowed to talk in any of this?
45:22
SPEAKER_02: You're not allowed to talk.
45:26
SPEAKER_03: What he just said.
45:29
SPEAKER_03: He didn't, boys.
45:31
SPEAKER_03: He did not murder Delic Little Hammer.
45:33
SPEAKER_03: I object.
45:35
SPEAKER_03: But these are the opening states.
45:38
SPEAKER_05: He's he didn't say he said his case was You gotta sit down, hold it.
45:44
SPEAKER_03: Object his fucking case.
45:48
SPEAKER_03: Be the judge say overruled.
45:49
SPEAKER_05: I've judge with legal ease out here.
45:52
SPEAKER_05: The judge looks very disappointed at you and he goes over overruled.
45:57
SPEAKER_05: Overruled.
45:58
SPEAKER_05: Gotta try.
46:00
SPEAKER_05: Vincenzo goes, where was that?
46:03
SPEAKER_05: Right.
46:04
SPEAKER_05: He killed the man.
46:05
SPEAKER_05: He wants it.
46:10
SPEAKER_05: Stacy has just mimiced hand job to Vincenzo.
46:14
SPEAKER_05: Deal still on the table.
46:17
SPEAKER_05: Vincenzo bats it away.
46:18
SPEAKER_05: He's like, eh.
46:19
SPEAKER_05: He goes, he goes, listen, Derek the Little Hammer was seen leaving Fawnhold with this man and his gang of no good no bodies.
46:38
SPEAKER_00: You got like this fear to New Orleans and you're very good.
46:42
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
46:44
SPEAKER_05: And then what happened to Derek?
46:46
SPEAKER_05: He was destroyed by multiple attacks.
46:50
SPEAKER_05: Let me put it to you.
46:51
SPEAKER_05: There was multiple of them.
46:52
SPEAKER_05: There was so many of them that he they all destroyed Derek.
46:58
SPEAKER_03: Can I object that?
47:00
SPEAKER_03: Ah Your Honor, I object again.
47:04
SPEAKER_03: The prosecution is outright lying about every single detail.
47:09
SPEAKER_03: And how would he know that anyway?
47:11
SPEAKER_03: He's talking out his ass, Your Honor.
47:15
SPEAKER_03: The judge is like If we were the only ones there, how would you know what happened?
47:23
SPEAKER_03: Your Honor, my client is emotional because the prosecution There were no witnesses other than us.
47:30
SPEAKER_03: The prosecution is talking atabolics.
47:32
SPEAKER_05: He wasn't murdered.
47:33
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
47:34
SPEAKER_05: The judge goes, I I imagine what is gonna happen, you is that he's gonna continue to present his case and his eggs, evidence, and then you'll be allowed to present your arguments.
47:47
SPEAKER_00: So guys, be careful.
47:49
SPEAKER_00: The judge can put a magic spell and make you uh put like a little thing over your mouth so you can't talk, alright?
47:55
SPEAKER_05: Stacey, I I'm surprised at you because it feels very much like you've never been in a court before.
48:00
SPEAKER_00: Is that the judge?
48:01
SPEAKER_05: Uh-huh.
48:01
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
48:02
SPEAKER_02: Well, you know why.
48:03
SPEAKER_02: Is that true?
48:04
SPEAKER_02: Like my lawyers.
48:07
SPEAKER_02: I'm in a lot of trouble.
48:08
SPEAKER_05: No, well, no, I have been in a court.
48:10
SPEAKER_05: Of course I have.
48:11
SPEAKER_05: So it's ridiculous.
48:12
SPEAKER_05: Vincenzo Gambino, he goes.
48:15
SPEAKER_05: As I was saying, they were seen leaving the village of Fawnhold in their company.
48:27
SPEAKER_05: Anytime.
48:28
SPEAKER_01: Every time that Vincenzo is speaking, just know that Stacey and Scarface are doing increasingly intricate hand job, ball play, uh, finger in the ass.
48:40
SPEAKER_00: Mimicry.
48:44
SPEAKER_05: They were seen leaving with this gang of no good nobody work.
48:49
SPEAKER_05: Also, in David's body, he was covered in darts and arrows.
48:55
SPEAKER_05: Can I put it to you?
48:56
SPEAKER_05: What weapon does Bill Futler carry?
48:59
SPEAKER_05: He carries a crossbow.
49:01
SPEAKER_05: What does crossbows shoot?
49:06
SPEAKER_05: I object to the hand jobs that are being closed.
49:09
SPEAKER_03: Oh Your Honor.
49:12
SPEAKER_01: This is crazy.
49:14
SPEAKER_01: We're neurodivergent.
49:15
SPEAKER_03: You can't be saying hand jobs in court, Your Honor.
49:20
SPEAKER_05: It just goes, I I can see the hand jobs that are being acted out.
49:26
SPEAKER_05: I would point out your client is on trial for one of his crimes, wood behavior in a public place.
49:34
SPEAKER_05: Do we think this is a good idea to go about representing a man for that?
49:39
SPEAKER_00: A thousand apologies.
49:40
SPEAKER_00: You're out of order.
49:45
SPEAKER_00: Apologies, Your Honor.
49:47
SPEAKER_02: I say we move this for six months down the line.
49:54
SPEAKER_02: Is that possible, Jim?
49:57
SPEAKER_05: That's not possible.
49:58
SPEAKER_05: We're all here today.
49:59
SPEAKER_05: We're just, we're not even through the opening arguments of one of you.
50:03
SPEAKER_05: So that's the court might go this case might go on for six months with the way that's.
50:09
SPEAKER_00: I promise no more hand job, blow job, mimicry.
50:12
SPEAKER_00: I just, out of curiosity, did you like what you saw?
50:16
SPEAKER_05: No.
50:18
SPEAKER_00: You didn't like the Biden?
50:21
SPEAKER_01: The Biden?
50:23
SPEAKER_05: The judge bangs his gavel and he goes, Vincenzo, please continue.
50:27
SPEAKER_00: I hate this guy.
50:28
SPEAKER_05: He's the worst.
50:30
SPEAKER_05: Vincenzo goes, Yeah, what I was saying was, Bill Futler, you carry a crossbow.
50:36
SPEAKER_05: You shoot arrows.
50:38
SPEAKER_05: Derek was full of arrows.
50:40
SPEAKER_05: Your friend, the known criminal, Fanny is Pigwind.
50:44
SPEAKER_05: What did she carry?
50:45
SPEAKER_05: She carries a dark.
50:46
SPEAKER_05: She carries a dark.
50:48
SPEAKER_05: Right?
50:49
SPEAKER_05: And then what else?
50:52
SPEAKER_05: Just when we think the lowest of the low can't get any goddamn lower?
50:57
SPEAKER_05: Who is your friend?
50:59
SPEAKER_05: No one people trafficker.
51:01
SPEAKER_05: Alan Lilly.
51:02
SPEAKER_05: This man is his poor character.
51:04
SPEAKER_05: He took a man away.
51:05
SPEAKER_05: That man ended up destroyed.
51:08
SPEAKER_05: So I put it to this court that this man murdered Alan Lilly.
51:15
SPEAKER_03: He can't he probably Whoa.
51:18
SPEAKER_00: Alan Lily Alan Lilly's day.
51:20
SPEAKER_03: Hey, Your Honor, that was never even on my piece of paper.
51:23
SPEAKER_03: He's making up a complete shit.
51:25
SPEAKER_03: Now, Your Honor.
51:26
SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, Your Honor, the handjobs are in my head and it's upsetting me.
51:31
SPEAKER_03: You can't fall back on the handjobs every time.
51:34
SPEAKER_00: We stopped doing them.
51:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we did.
51:36
SPEAKER_03: I was like, and I'm witness.
51:38
SPEAKER_03: I'm a witness.
51:39
SPEAKER_03: I've seen them not do it.
51:42
SPEAKER_05: So he goes, I put it to this court that this man killed Derek Littlehammer.
51:47
SPEAKER_05: He then committed treason because Derek Littlehammer was the leader of the village.
51:55
SPEAKER_05: He was seen consorting, trying to form a gang.
51:59
SPEAKER_05: It is put into this court that Phineas Bigwin actually met a group of women to try and overthrow this man.
52:06
SPEAKER_05: The next day he ended up dead.
52:08
SPEAKER_05: The night before, Phineas Bigwin was trying to overthrow him.
52:12
SPEAKER_05: Then he ended up dead.
52:14
SPEAKER_05: Am I crazy?
52:15
SPEAKER_05: Am I making up things here?
52:16
SPEAKER_05: Yes, I think not.
52:19
SPEAKER_00: He asked a question, Your Honor, and the the darts that were in him.
52:23
SPEAKER_00: He answered, he asked a question, and Your Honor, the answer is yes, he is making stuff up.
52:27
SPEAKER_05: And I also put it that he committed lewd behavior by throwing a dead body around like a goddamn chew toy.
52:35
SPEAKER_05: And that is my opening argument, Your Honor, and I will build a case on this.
52:40
SPEAKER_06: But we've already fighted.
52:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you know.
52:47
SPEAKER_03: I will be honest, I found the last bit a little bit arousing.
52:51
SPEAKER_00: Wait, wait.
52:51
SPEAKER_03: I didn't even know Al was a trafficker, by the way.
52:54
SPEAKER_00: Let me let me take that time for our opening statements.
52:58
SPEAKER_03: Well, let's thank team it.
52:59
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
53:00
SPEAKER_03: I'll let you kick it off, of course.
53:01
SPEAKER_02: My name's Scarface.
53:05
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go get some chip.
53:08
SPEAKER_00: Your Honor.
53:09
SPEAKER_00: It is an honor and pleasure to be here today representing a hero in court.
53:16
SPEAKER_00: A hero.
53:18
SPEAKER_00: Heroes.
53:19
SPEAKER_00: Three heroes who have been undermined, slandered, and absolutely just disrespected by our uh r respectable fellow lawyer Vincenzo Gambino.
53:36
SPEAKER_00: This we're talking mainly about Bill right now.
53:39
SPEAKER_00: Let's all agree to that.
53:41
SPEAKER_02: I agree.
53:42
SPEAKER_02: I agree.
53:43
SPEAKER_02: I like her.
53:44
SPEAKER_02: I like my lawyer.
53:45
SPEAKER_00: This guy.
53:47
SPEAKER_00: This hero?
53:48
SPEAKER_00: This American hero.
53:52
SPEAKER_00: He is just a pawn.
53:55
SPEAKER_00: Being played.
53:56
SPEAKER_00: Being played like like a pawn.
54:01
SPEAKER_05: I object.
54:02
SPEAKER_00: Why?
54:03
SPEAKER_05: To the overuse of the word pawn.
54:06
SPEAKER_00: Oh, because I know famously you hate chess.
54:09
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, Vincent Gambino.
54:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm allowed.
54:12
SPEAKER_02: Vincenzo.
54:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh, sorry.
54:14
SPEAKER_00: You fucking idiot.
54:16
SPEAKER_02: Benny.
54:16
SPEAKER_02: We saw Benny.
54:18
SPEAKER_00: Vincenzo.
54:19
SPEAKER_00: Look, I'm first of all, that man's opening remarks were full of errors.
54:24
SPEAKER_03: Lies.
54:25
SPEAKER_00: Lies.
54:26
SPEAKER_00: Slanderous lies.
54:27
SPEAKER_00: Of which we will be counter suing.
54:29
SPEAKER_00: First of all, crossbows, they shoot bolts, not arrows, and any fucking idiot would be.
54:34
SPEAKER_03: That's a mic drop moment right there.
54:35
SPEAKER_03: That's a mic drop.
54:37
SPEAKER_03: Drop the bla fucking mics.
54:39
SPEAKER_03: They shoot bowls.
54:42
SPEAKER_03: Fucking red dick.
54:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
54:44
SPEAKER_00: Immediately your story goes out the window.
54:47
SPEAKER_00: You don't even know the basics of the story.
54:49
SPEAKER_03: Your story has more holes than Derek.
54:51
SPEAKER_03: Might as well all go home now.
54:53
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that wasn't great.
54:54
SPEAKER_03: Sit down, please.
55:03
SPEAKER_00: Let's not focus on the colour.
55:06
SPEAKER_03: I want to though.
55:07
SPEAKER_03: I want to.
55:08
SPEAKER_03: I really want to.
55:09
SPEAKER_03: Let me.
55:12
SPEAKER_00: Also, I would say we don't know what happened in that pussy palace.
55:16
SPEAKER_00: Would you are you calling Alan Lilly as a witness?
55:20
SPEAKER_00: Are you?
55:21
SPEAKER_00: No, answer me now, are you?
55:23
SPEAKER_04: You have to the judge is like, he he he's not on trial here.
55:27
SPEAKER_04: He doesn't have to answer any questions.
55:28
SPEAKER_04: Okay, fine.
55:29
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
55:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh guess we're all just, you know, stupid whores.
55:32
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, um excuse me.
55:36
SPEAKER_03: I don't I would like uh I think my fellow lawyer, Scarface, has done a wonderful, fabulous job.
55:44
SPEAKER_00: I support heroes.
55:46
SPEAKER_00: And he was this hero has been taken into that pussy palace against his will.
55:51
SPEAKER_00: And he's traffic.
55:53
SPEAKER_00: You think he's a trafficker, you're looking at a victim, not a perpetrator.
55:57
SPEAKER_00: So how about you sit that cozy little red ass down and you think about what you said?
56:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
56:02
SPEAKER_03: Feels good to say red, doesn't it?
56:03
SPEAKER_03: It does.
56:04
SPEAKER_03: It feels like Yeah.
56:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
56:06
SPEAKER_03: Red.
56:07
SPEAKER_05: Is that the end of your opening out of the state?
56:09
SPEAKER_02: Well, I yes.
56:10
SPEAKER_02: No, they've got to address all the all the charges, right?
56:14
SPEAKER_02: Like uh Well, for an opening statement, I think that was pretty good.
56:18
SPEAKER_00: And uh you see Scarface is really like sweaty and and he goes, my my co-lawyer will be taking over the final part of the statement.
56:26
SPEAKER_03: Well, I think Scarface did such a fabulous job.
56:28
SPEAKER_03: I put to the court today that our clients are heroes.
56:34
SPEAKER_03: And not only did they not murder or commit any crimes, they are they are they are the victims in all of this.
56:44
SPEAKER_03: And we will, we will you mark my words as I live and breathe, Vincenzo.
56:52
SPEAKER_03: And for the final for the final He is he saved Fawnhold, not destroyed Derek Littlehammer.
56:59
SPEAKER_03: He saved Fawnhold.
57:02
SPEAKER_00: And finally, and finally, for the final charge of lewd acts in public, we do plead guilty.
57:07
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
57:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because he is a bit dirty.
57:09
SPEAKER_03: But apart from that, not illegal yet.
57:13
SPEAKER_03: Totally is illegal.
57:14
SPEAKER_03: Is it illegal?
57:16
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I didn't know.
57:17
SPEAKER_05: So do you one of you's hat can roll?
57:20
SPEAKER_05: So nominate who you want to roll.
57:22
SPEAKER_05: Both.
57:22
SPEAKER_05: No, it's just one person's rolling because you're rolling against someone.
57:25
SPEAKER_03: I have been rolling well, but that is gonna be.
57:30
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
57:31
SPEAKER_03: I am hat.
57:31
SPEAKER_03: Oh, Kate's going.
57:32
SPEAKER_03: Kate's going.
57:33
SPEAKER_03: Go for it, Scar.
57:35
SPEAKER_03: You got this!
57:36
SPEAKER_05: What is it?
57:37
SPEAKER_03: 13.
57:37
SPEAKER_05: It's not What's he got?
57:39
SPEAKER_05: You'll find out later.
57:40
SPEAKER_03: It's not one roll for the whole core.
57:42
SPEAKER_05: No, yeah.
57:43
SPEAKER_05: It's multiple.
57:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
57:44
SPEAKER_03: I think we won opening statements.
57:46
SPEAKER_03: I do.
57:47
SPEAKER_03: I think we bloody won it.
57:49
SPEAKER_03: I think that red bastard swift test.
57:52
SPEAKER_02: I'd like you.
57:53
SPEAKER_02: I didn't like you as my lawyers in the beginning, but now I think.
57:56
SPEAKER_02: Now I love you.
57:57
SPEAKER_02: I love you.
57:58
SPEAKER_00: Bill, come over here.
57:59
SPEAKER_00: I got a new candle sent.
58:02
SPEAKER_00: It's called Not Guilty.
58:04
SPEAKER_00: Take a whiff, take a whiff.
58:06
SPEAKER_05: Ooh, freedom.
58:09
SPEAKER_05: So that brings an end to this episode.
58:12
SPEAKER_05: We will have to continue the court case of Bill Futler, Shawn Michaels, and Mika the Cobalt in the next episode.
58:18
SPEAKER_05: So thanks for listening.
58:19
SPEAKER_05: Make sure you catch the next one.
58:21
SPEAKER_05: Find out if Bill gets off with us or he manages to escape.
58:23
SPEAKER_00: Someone's getting off.
58:33
SPEAKER_05: Before we let you go, there's some people we need to say thanks to.
58:36
SPEAKER_05: So I'll let Tom take it away.
58:37
SPEAKER_02: Kitty Preston, nice logo.
58:39
SPEAKER_02: I like the way you've made my jaw like not so alcoholically fat.
58:45
SPEAKER_02: I loved it.
58:46
SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Kenny.
58:47
SPEAKER_02: Alanor, you are dynamite.
58:50
SPEAKER_02: We love the we love the theme, Shaw.
58:52
SPEAKER_02: Alanor, you're the best! You're the best! Sean Stables, my buddy, Sean! Do I really have to thank you, Sean?
59:00
SPEAKER_02: You're an amazing man.
59:02
SPEAKER_02: I love you.
59:03
SPEAKER_02: Thanks to all those people for helping us.
59:05
SPEAKER_02: This is gonna be a big thing, and I can't wait to hit for all you people to tune in and have a good time with it.