Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S3 E49 - Love Among the ICE-ing

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S3 E49 - Love Among the ICE-ing · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:00
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Steven Jeff Show, the number one comedy podcast.
0:05
SPEAKER_02: At Steve's mom's house, that is be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:15
SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:18
SPEAKER_02: And now, here's Stephen Jeff.
0:23
SPEAKER_04: Hey Johnny, thanks for bringing us back into the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_04: And like so many people are saying these days, you can't be a hero if you're a beardo.
0:30
SPEAKER_04: You're not a beardo, are you, Jeff?
0:32
SPEAKER_05: I'm not, although I am a must a mustachio.
0:36
SPEAKER_04: Well, your military career is over.
0:38
SPEAKER_05: Well, oftentimes people say to me, you know, it's not that you have less hair than everyone else, you just have it in different places.
0:45
SPEAKER_05: And I I think that's true, don't you?
0:47
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
0:47
SPEAKER_04: Most of our audience is so glad that this is not a video, like a you they don't see you.
0:53
SPEAKER_04: But I digress.
0:54
SPEAKER_04: So how you been, Jeff?
0:55
SPEAKER_05: I'm great.
0:56
SPEAKER_05: You know, wonderful fall weather, because I guess every episode begins with weather.
1:01
SPEAKER_05: Why not?
1:02
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, because a lot of people out there, they just don't know what it's like out.
1:05
SPEAKER_04: So they don't experience the weather, yeah.
1:07
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, great weather.
1:09
SPEAKER_05: And this is kind of we're entering the holiday season, you know, beginning with Halloween, and I'm looking forward to it.
1:15
SPEAKER_04: Oh, those fall holidays.
1:16
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, in fact, uh, the fall of the holidays, wasn't that a book?
1:19
SPEAKER_04: That's a book by Poe, right?
1:21
SPEAKER_04: But I well, I digress.
1:22
SPEAKER_04: But all the fun food-related holidays are coming up.
1:26
SPEAKER_04: But you know, I gotta say, I am getting bored with Omaha.
1:30
SPEAKER_04: I I look at all these fun cities around the country, and it it doesn't seem like the same things are happening here.
1:36
SPEAKER_04: I I can imagine how great it would be to be in, let's say, New York for Halloween.
1:42
SPEAKER_05: Or Chicago.
1:42
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I live in Chicago.
1:44
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I live in a in a western suburb, and so it's not really the same, but you know, if you get a chance to go downtown in Chicago, it's amazing.
1:52
SPEAKER_05: Although the reason we don't go down is because it's so expensive.
1:56
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, funny you say that.
1:57
SPEAKER_04: You know, I just go off the phone with my cousin, uh, Marcy Epstein, no relation.
2:01
SPEAKER_04: And she was in New York recently for two weeks.
2:04
SPEAKER_04: She and her husband, they they always seem to struggle.
2:07
SPEAKER_04: You know, her husband works for the circus.
2:09
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, he's he's risen up.
2:10
SPEAKER_04: I mean, risen up to Master Geek, so his pay is a little better than when he first started.
2:15
SPEAKER_04: But circuses aren't that popular these days, except on Pennsylvania Avenue.
2:19
SPEAKER_04: And so he, you know, he doesn't get paid very much.
2:22
SPEAKER_04: But luckily, luckily, Marcy has a nice trust fund.
2:25
SPEAKER_04: So sure, but do I see any of the money from it?
2:27
SPEAKER_04: You know, no, but yeah, again, I digress.
2:30
SPEAKER_05: It would be hard if you didn't have money to do stuff in New York.
2:34
SPEAKER_05: And yeah, you've told me about Marcy before.
2:36
SPEAKER_05: I think she stuffs money in different places based on certain things that I've seen, but it is difficult to be in New York, especially during the holidays when you don't have a lot of money.
2:47
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
2:48
SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, Marcy figured that out.
2:50
SPEAKER_04: You know, they were wanted to spend this time in New York, and she's always thinking, I'll tell you.
2:55
SPEAKER_04: She she went to a bank in Manhattan, asked for a short-term loan.
3:00
SPEAKER_04: You know, she told the banker, you know, my husband and I are in New York for a couple weeks till the circus leaves for Florida.
3:06
SPEAKER_04: Uh we just need to borrow$5,000, and we'll pay you back as soon as he gets paid.
3:11
SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, the loan officers, they're always excited to make a loan, but I don't know how excited he was to make a$5,000 loan to a circus geek.
3:20
SPEAKER_05: So, you know, it was maybe a little less excited, but so but but you know, those New York people, they're so generous and so loving and willing.
3:30
SPEAKER_05: So I'm surprised.
3:31
SPEAKER_04: And you know, in New York, geeks get paid more.
3:34
SPEAKER_04: Well, that's true.
3:35
SPEAKER_04: You know that.
3:35
SPEAKER_04: So so there is that.
3:37
SPEAKER_04: But he said, Well, you know, I'm gonna need some form of security, some some form of collateral for this loan.
3:42
SPEAKER_04: So she says, Okay, well, that's your hand, and she lays something in this palm.
3:46
SPEAKER_04: That's not a euphemism.
3:48
SPEAKER_04: Uh she says, These are the keys to my car, sitting right out front.
3:53
SPEAKER_04: So the guy takes a look, looks outside.
3:56
SPEAKER_04: There's a brand new Ferrari parked directly in front of the bank.
3:59
SPEAKER_04: She says, I filled out all the loan documents, took the liberty to fill those out, hands those to him.
4:04
SPEAKER_04: You know, he looks at the documents, looks at the Ferrari, looks at documents, looks at the Ferrari.
4:08
SPEAKER_04: Says, you know, I better check with the bank president.
4:11
SPEAKER_04: You know, it's like getting a loan is kind of like buying a car.
4:13
SPEAKER_04: You know, you never just talk to one person.
4:15
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
4:15
SPEAKER_04: Something's like, oh, let me check with the manager.
4:17
SPEAKER_04: So he goes to the president's office and describes the situation.
4:21
SPEAKER_04: The president is giddy.
4:23
SPEAKER_04: Uh, he was really pleased, too.
4:25
SPEAKER_04: But so they laugh for a while about Marcy leaving a$750,000 car as security for a$5,000 loan.
4:33
SPEAKER_04: So he says, Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
4:35
SPEAKER_04: Loan officer goes back and says, You got a deal.
4:38
SPEAKER_04: So they take the car, somebody from the bank takes the car into the bank's underground garage, parks it, they get the five grand, they have fun in New York.
4:47
SPEAKER_04: Two weeks later, Marcy goes back, pays back the$5,000 plus interest of$15.41.
4:54
SPEAKER_04: Not a bad interest rate these days, let me tell you.
4:57
SPEAKER_04: I tell you, she's really good.
4:58
SPEAKER_04: Some people call her the art of the deal.
5:00
SPEAKER_04: Or wait, was that art dealman?
5:02
SPEAKER_04: Oh, no, wait, no, our dealman was our mailman as a kid.
5:05
SPEAKER_04: My mom always liked him.
5:06
SPEAKER_04: But but anyway, the loan officer smiles and says, Marcy, you see they were friends by this point.
5:11
SPEAKER_04: And Marcy, we're very happy to have your business.
5:14
SPEAKER_04: But to be honest, we're a little, we're a little puzzled.
5:17
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, while you were away, we checked you out and we found out about that trust fund.
5:21
SPEAKER_04: You got you got plenty of money, you got a lot of money.
5:24
SPEAKER_04: So, why'd you need to borrow five thousand dollars?
5:27
SPEAKER_04: So, Marcy, always thinking, Marcy says, Hey, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for just fifteen dollars and forty-one cents and expect it to be there when I return?
5:37
SPEAKER_05: Uh, that Marcy, she's quite a little stinker, isn't she?
5:41
SPEAKER_04: Well, a stinker thinker, it's you know, and blend in my brain.
5:45
SPEAKER_04: Um you know that's right.
5:47
SPEAKER_05: And she is right, you know, I don't care where you park your car, especially a Ferrari, but especially in Chicago, for 15 bucks to park it for two weeks, that is a deal.
5:56
SPEAKER_04: And now with all those National Guard troops and the ICE agents running around some of those cities, uh, those cities that won't bow to the king, that is.
6:03
SPEAKER_04: I I bet parking has gotten insane, but it's not cheap for them either.
6:08
SPEAKER_05: You know, it would be interesting, you know, maybe someday we can interview a couple of these people from, you know, I don't know, from ICE or the National Guard.
6:16
SPEAKER_05: Maybe when they come to Omaha and occupy Omaha.
6:19
SPEAKER_04: Well, Jeff, I don't think they're gonna ever occupy Omaha, at least under our king's rule.
6:24
SPEAKER_04: See, he and the governor of Nebraska have a deal.
6:27
SPEAKER_04: The king says, jump, and our governor says, Thank you, sir.
6:31
SPEAKER_04: May I have another?
6:32
SPEAKER_04: I was reading the newspaper that two people from Omaha, one is in ICE and the other is in the National Guard.
6:39
SPEAKER_04: They met on the job and they got married.
6:42
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
6:43
SPEAKER_04: So, you know, Jeff, I we you know, gray minds must think alike.
6:47
SPEAKER_04: I invited them here to the studio, they're just the other side of that glass.
6:50
SPEAKER_04: See, I heard they were on their honeymoon in Council Bluffs, and that's you know, that's this the Isle of Romance around here.
6:56
SPEAKER_05: Let me tell you, yeah.
6:57
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
6:58
SPEAKER_04: Well, let's bring them on the show.
6:59
SPEAKER_04: Let's meet Larry and Maria Milder.
7:02
SPEAKER_05: Welcome to the show, Larry and Maria, and congratulations on tying the knot.
7:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh thanks.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having us.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's nice that we have people that appreciate the work that we do to keep these demon crat cities safe and the immigrants free.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: And thanks for the recognition.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Like, both of us hit gold status, which is arresting more than 500 people.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: In fact, like if we do a couple more, we get like a discount on our next lunch.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited, and I'm so proud of you, Maria.
7:34
SPEAKER_01: Thanks, babe.
7:35
SPEAKER_01: Proud of you too.
7:36
SPEAKER_04: I think Jeff Man, congratulations on finding true love while occupying one of our major cities.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, thank you.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, man.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was like it was love at first shot, literally.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: Or I guess second shot.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: It was the second shot, right, babe?
7:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was the second shot, second shot.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: It was right in front of the Groman's uh Chinese theater, like some of you might know it is like man's, where the Hollywood walk of shame is.
8:00
SPEAKER_01: And well, although we were there, everyone was like running, and anyways, there she was, Maria Madoza just just running away from me, running from my heart, and and being of the Mexican persuasion, obviously, I tried to arrest her.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: That's right, you did think that because I was wearing my I love New Mexico shirt.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'd just been there like visiting my grandparents.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: That's right, babe.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you were you were after it.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: You were after it.
8:30
SPEAKER_01: I was I hate I hate that shirt, but I do love you.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: I know I was wearing it for Grammy and Graham, so you know what I mean.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: But uh yeah, like I was I was chasing after a couple of these like unlawful libs, you know.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, they were all like, Oh, we're just standing around talking, it's a public park, but he was like wearing nail polish and crap, so you know, you know, right?
8:50
SPEAKER_00: He was a problem, dude.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, I was like running after him, and uh Larry spotted me, he fired a warning shot, I fired back, and it was then we realized, like, oh my god, like oh, the he he cites that weapon like nobody else, man.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: We were in love, yeah, exactly.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: I mean, two people can shoot each other while listening to Endless Love.
9:11
SPEAKER_01: And after she got back from the Venezuelan prison, like we totally hooked up in Chicago, and as they say, the rest is history.
9:21
SPEAKER_05: Wow, you guys seem so happy.
9:24
SPEAKER_05: I guess my first question is why did each of you choose ICE and the National Guard?
9:29
SPEAKER_05: Both jobs sound very exciting, but you know, they're they're kind of unusual choices as far as jobs.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, they are.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: You know, to be honest, they're pretty similar now as jobs and everything.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: I basically just needed something to get me out of my grandparents' house at this stage.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: Like nobody can actually afford a home anymore at my age, and so like I was just looking for a J O B.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: But yours, babe, you were you were all about Superman, right?
9:56
SPEAKER_01: Like you were oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: I loved Dean Kane.
10:01
SPEAKER_01: And when I saw that he could do it, and they came back and they're like, Hey, no prerequisite, no skills, no age, like you can do it.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: How I mean, they're accepting everyone, so it was like totally easy.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: And we get to go everywhere and anywhere we want in the name of the job.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: This includes movie theaters and restaurants and hospitals and churches, city hall, and of course, people's houses.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: So every day it's like a new place, a new arrest.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: It's just it's actually been great.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: Like as a young married couple, man.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: We get to go into everybody's houses, and I'm like, oh my god, that's our Ned Table, babe.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's the one we want.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, it's great.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: You can, I mean, it's better than Pinterest.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, hurrah.
10:48
SPEAKER_04: That just sounds like such an interesting line of work.
10:50
SPEAKER_04: I mean, every day, uh, a new challenge, a new target, a new enemy of the people.
10:56
SPEAKER_04: Now, where did you have your wedding?
10:57
SPEAKER_04: Was it in Omaha or when you were deployed somewhere?
11:01
SPEAKER_01: Well, uh, no, we got married in the city hall in Chicago, kind of a last minute thing.
11:07
SPEAKER_01: You know, I was there to arrest someone who was in court for two counts of uh I think it was like littering.
11:14
SPEAKER_01: And Maria was guarding like the outside entrance, and sure enough, one of the illegals tried to run away, and she like caught him right on the street.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: And we just thought, dude, while we're here, why not just tie the knot?
11:30
SPEAKER_01: And and when I say tie the knot, I'm not referring to like the torture, I'm I'm referring to marriage.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: It was so romantic, man.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, we were we were tying the knot on those handcuffs, and then we were tying the knot with each other.
11:45
SPEAKER_00: It was crazy, man.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: I I'm I'm still floating on cloud nine.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: I I like being married because you know, like I didn't I didn't really want to go back home to my job at Dairy Queen.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: So like I love the National Guard, and when I signed up, I thought it would be like state of emergency stuff, and and it'd be like one weekend a month, but who would have thought it's like a full-time job, you know?
12:06
SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't think that.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: And you know, for Larry, like the best part of the job is that you you never run out of people to arrest.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, like everybody, everybody is arrestable right now.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: Like my own grandparents had a warrant come down like through the thing, but that's okay because they're not in the city that we were in, so it's cool.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: And I we could get the house.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: And to be clear, like, she just isn't referring to the interrogation tactics that uh that we would use just on grandmas, like we we get to use this on anybody that are foreign or demon crats, dude.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: Like, we can do anything that we want, basically.
12:47
SPEAKER_04: There aren't a lot of entry-level jobs that don't require a lot of skills and let you do whatever you want.
12:52
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I can see why you guys were attracted to this, but it really sounds like you've got it all.
12:56
SPEAKER_04: Well, almost all, I should say.
12:58
SPEAKER_04: Any plans to start a family?
13:00
SPEAKER_04: Can you break the news on our show here?
13:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if we don't have like a couple criminals running around the house very soon playing like hide and seek with their dad.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: But of course, I'm very good at it, so they better be on their toes.
13:20
SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
13:21
SPEAKER_05: I don't mean to burst your bubble, but what happens to you after the king is gone?
13:26
SPEAKER_05: You know, like if he, I mean, I I know it's unlikely, but if he were to lose the third term, have you thought about life, what life would be like after ICE and the National Guard?
13:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, like, I don't we don't really have to worry about that too much, you know.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, kings aren't elected, they are born for the job, you know?
13:48
SPEAKER_00: So, like we've been promised as long as our king is alive, we've got a job.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: So, like, how many Democrat cities uh are there still out there to occupy?
13:57
SPEAKER_00: Like, so many.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to get to Minneapolis.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, I heard Mall of America is amazing.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna, you know, we can like take little side jounts.
14:06
SPEAKER_04: Oh, absolutely.
14:07
SPEAKER_04: It's a great place.
14:08
SPEAKER_04: I was there a few years ago myself, and you know, where else can you buy a suit and ride a roller coaster under the same roof?
14:14
SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's unbelievable.
14:15
SPEAKER_04: So I think uh tell me, do they still have the rainforest cafe there?
14:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, uh, I think so.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's like an excellent place to catch some people hiding.
14:26
SPEAKER_01: Think about it.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: Like have a rainforest salad and catch a few legals uh just doesn't get much better than that.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: Fuck America.
14:36
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, they used to have a couple of those rainforests in Chicago, I believe, and but for some reason they they've been closed down, probably for security reasons, I would guess.
14:45
SPEAKER_04: I think they get deported.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: No, we we did that.
14:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we did that because you know, other than just like a place to hide, it's some it's some low woke liberal bullshit, you know, about like global warming.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: And then they were like, oh, they closed down all the rainforests, and then that was the thing, but it's cool, no, it's good.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, like, who fucking cares about the environment?
15:06
SPEAKER_01: Murray, they're gonna tell me we can't eat some of those animals.
15:11
SPEAKER_01: That's bullshit.
15:13
SPEAKER_04: Well, so now other than arrest people, what do you guys do when you're deployed?
15:17
SPEAKER_04: Any touristy stuff?
15:19
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, it just so happens that almost all the Demon Crat cities have legalized marijuana.
15:27
SPEAKER_04: Ah, so do you munch the ganja, so to speak?
15:30
SPEAKER_04: That can be fun, you know, especially right before you go to the Rainforest Cafe.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: But we like to go to the dispensaries because then we can arrest people for trafficking drugs and things like that.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, so the cool thing is, even though pot is legal in most states, right?
15:46
SPEAKER_00: We can still arrest people federally.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: It's like those sanctuary cities.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: So like they can legalize it as much as they want, but like if we wait till they walk out of the dispensary, federal, right there, yo.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: So our our king, you know, he's a strong believer in them federal rights.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: He wants that big government federal.
16:05
SPEAKER_01: Babe, that's so right.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: And right, but as far as what you do, what we do for fun, you know, our king, may he live forever, has issued a list of suggestions of things to do and places to go in each city that we occupy.
16:20
SPEAKER_05: Really?
16:21
SPEAKER_05: Can you give me a couple examples?
16:22
SPEAKER_05: Like in LA, I think I'm planning on going on a vacation there soon.
16:26
SPEAKER_05: And what are some of the hot spots or things to do?
16:28
SPEAKER_00: For me, I mean, personally, I I do get starstruck.
16:31
SPEAKER_00: I like to go visit where all the celebrities live, you know.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, we were in LA, we just came back from a tour of conservative movie stars.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, it was so fascinating.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, um, oh, I really like Rob Schneider's efficiency apartment.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: It was like right above Jim's Hollywood tattoo parlor.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: We we didn't get to go in or anything, but it looked amazing.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: He was like up there in the window, like without a shirt on or anything, like kind of in just a disheveled row.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: It was awesome.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm pretty sure all of his furniture came from Adam Sandler, um, you know, his live in help.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: So that was really fascinating.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: And um, we got to meet Gary Busey because like he was just sleeping outside.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: So I mean, we were basically in his home.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, yeah, that was that was dope.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: How about you, Larry?
17:15
SPEAKER_01: What do you like doing?
17:17
SPEAKER_01: Um, uh like I'm not much for the tours, but I I support her obviously.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: But most of the stuff on the list that has to do with something going to like I don't know, Tijuana, but that just feels like work.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: And I just like to stay around the hotel and watch movies which are were free for ice police.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: And and from what I understand, we got upgraded to our King's special watch list, which I look forward to trying out.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh babe, babe, babe.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: Didn't they add all of Dean Kane's like dog that saved Christmas stuff to that watch list?
17:52
SPEAKER_00: Did you even see that that came down?
17:54
SPEAKER_01: Babe, it's downloaded on my phone already.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: So a perk already used.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: Uh, I know that every one of like Lindsay Lohan's movies is on the list, and of course, like Dolly Parton.
18:06
SPEAKER_05: But that could take you a while to get through.
18:08
SPEAKER_05: So I hope you are deployed long enough to get through uh Lindsay's full catalog, but it sounds fun.
18:15
SPEAKER_04: Larry and Maria, it's been so nice to meet you.
18:17
SPEAKER_04: I want to thank you for coming on to the show.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, man, our pleasure.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, of course, before we leave, though, we're just gonna need to see some identification.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna need to check your set shit.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: Don't worry though, I left my gun in the car.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: We're good.
18:36
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, I think Miss Claire has all the IDs out there, so you just talk to her, she'll assist you, I'm sure.
18:41
SPEAKER_04: So again, I want to thank you for stopping by.
18:43
SPEAKER_04: Oh, by the way, how is Council Bluffs, that garden of love, a good place to have a honeymoon?
18:48
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you know, it's been great.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: There is just so much to do, but it's like gambling chicken church, gambling chicken church, like all the way down Broadway, man.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: It's it's amazing.
19:02
SPEAKER_01: I I do wish it were in Nebraska, though, like across the state line, just not quite red enough for us in America, if you ask me.
19:11
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
19:13
SPEAKER_01: That's true.
19:14
SPEAKER_05: Well, you know, I I live in Chicago, so when you're talking about chicken and gambling, are are we talking about cockfighting?
19:21
SPEAKER_05: Uh is that legal or is that legal in Iowa?
19:24
SPEAKER_01: Cain's chicken.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: Cain's chicken.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: That's cool.
19:27
SPEAKER_05: Oh, those tenders, those tenders there.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh man, that's sauce.
19:31
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, sounds wonderful.
19:34
SPEAKER_05: Just want to give you our blessing and to let you know that you know, if you ever get back to Omaha, you know, permanently, we'd love to have you on the show again.
19:42
SPEAKER_05: Do you know what's coming up?
19:44
SPEAKER_05: Like what city might be next.
19:46
SPEAKER_01: I got four words, bro.
19:48
SPEAKER_01: Choose your own adventure.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: It's just like we don't.
19:53
SPEAKER_01: Maybe Portland, maybe somewhere near Portland or outside Portland.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: Some uh Portland, maybe I guess.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
20:04
SPEAKER_05: What's funny about that is they seem all to be democratic cities, but then I heard that he was thinking about Memphis as one of the destinations that's Tennessee, which is red.
20:15
SPEAKER_05: But then I thought the cool part is most of the mayors in these big cities are Democrats.
20:21
SPEAKER_05: So you pretty much have the freedom to go anywhere in the country as long as it's a big city.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: I like the way you think.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: And if you ever want to get in the ice, let me know.
20:31
SPEAKER_01: I'll give you a referral code, dude.
20:32
SPEAKER_05: Is it hard to get in?
20:34
SPEAKER_05: I don't know what what are the requirements.
20:36
SPEAKER_05: Uh, what do you have to do?
20:37
SPEAKER_01: Zip, not uh, not uh single.
20:40
SPEAKER_05: Well, I I qualified that.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: Wow, yeah, just want it, man.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: Just want it.
20:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's really it.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: You just want it.
20:46
SPEAKER_04: You can become master ice, kind of like that master geek, you know.
20:50
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
20:51
SPEAKER_05: White ice.
20:52
SPEAKER_05: I could be.
20:53
SPEAKER_04: You could be, yes.
20:54
SPEAKER_04: Well, I think they're all white ice, if you know what I mean.
20:56
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think so.
20:57
SPEAKER_05: Steve, maybe you and I ought to take this show on the road.
21:00
SPEAKER_05: Wouldn't that be kind of cool to do some episodes like in different cities and you know, we could arrest people and then do our podcast, even bring some of the people that are arrested on the show.
21:10
SPEAKER_05: That would be fun.
21:11
SPEAKER_04: Oh, that'd be great.
21:12
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we get on-the-scene interviews with people we're arresting and go get deployed and declare war on our own citizens.
21:19
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I you know, how many people get to do that?
21:21
SPEAKER_04: You know, I mean, really.
21:22
SPEAKER_05: It's on my bucket list.
21:24
SPEAKER_04: Oh, absolutely.
21:25
SPEAKER_04: And I don't know about you, Jeff, but I don't think these two young lovebirds should go away empty-handed.
21:31
SPEAKER_04: And I think what these arrests that they're doing, I think that hard work that they're putting in to like cage people who who demonstrate, they need a reward.
21:41
SPEAKER_04: You know what I'm saying?
21:42
SPEAKER_04: So, Johnny, what do we have for these wonderful people?
21:46
SPEAKER_03: All right, Steve.
21:47
SPEAKER_03: Larry and Maria will be able to turn their fun and work into family fun at home with the new board game sweeping the country, Iceman.
21:55
SPEAKER_03: Ignore constitutional and legal barriers, dodge freedom of information act requests, and be the first player to meet Steven Miller's deportation quota and win the game.
22:05
SPEAKER_03: Weaponize family fun from the Arby Deal Foundation, destroying America one day at a time.
22:11
SPEAKER_03: And they'll receive an autograph pair of MAGA Glass sunglasses.
22:15
SPEAKER_03: Just put these shades on and you won't see what's happening right in front of you.
22:20
SPEAKER_03: Everything looks big and beautiful through Maga Glass sunglasses, a product of day-live marketing.
22:26
SPEAKER_03: This has been a fair principled production in association with It Happened Here Media.
22:31
SPEAKER_03: Read all about Stephen Jeff at their website, step and Jeff.com.
22:35
SPEAKER_03: This is Chinese speaking.
22:40
SPEAKER_03: I mean, if they require no skills, no experience, and no ability, we're perfect for it.
22:46
SPEAKER_03: Good night.