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33. Exploring 3 Varieties of Love - A Personalized Experience · Treasured Momma | Time Management Tips, Motherhood, Family Life, Daily Routines, Christianity

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  Have you ever done something counter-cultural? Do you ever wonder why so many
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  people say they value love and yet they seem to show it in such different ways?
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  It's a brand new month and I want to have a brand new conversation that doesn't
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  focus on the commercialization of love.
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  We are in the month of February and in the first episode of the month,
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  we are going to take the love discussion a little bit deeper. Can I get an amen?
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  Along those same subject lines, I received a five-star review entitled,
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  Amen to That from Etsy Creator 1000.
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  And it says, Kori is so well-spoken and is speaking the words out that are in my heart.
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  I found myself amening to her several times.
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  I love how God is using her voice and I can't wait to see what will come.
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  Thank you so much for leaving a review. It truly means the world to me.
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  These reviews are so encouraging to myself, they testify to future listeners,
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  and they position you to be featured in our weekly newsletter at a future episode.
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  If you're listening to this now, please head over to iTunes and leave your very
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  own review because I would love for you to be the next feature.
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  But for now, let's explore how I boldly said no and confidently explored the
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  question, why not do it different?
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  Hey, hey, mama. Welcome back to the Treasured Mama podcast.
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  I'm Kori Messer, a Kingdom Life coach and messy mompreneur. And I want to know if you're like me.
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  Have you ever felt like you've lost yourself in all the things?
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  Or perhaps you just need some encouragement on this messy journey of authentic motherhood?
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  In this space, we love sharing routines, rhythms, and real stories of real moms
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  as we declutter our heads, our hearts, and our homes to discover clarity and confidence.
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  If you're ready to gain clarity on who God designed you to be,
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  create simple systems for a more peaceful household, and connect with other
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  mamas doing the same, this podcast is right up your alley.
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  My prayer is this episode will encourage you. So grab a drink,
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  take a mommy moment, and listen in to today's goodness. Hey Treasured Mama,
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  Coach Cori here and today we are.
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  Music.
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  Because it is the 1st of February, I would love to spend a little bit of time
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  speaking about that exact word, love.
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  Let's dive in first, starting with a story.
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  I would love to know from you if you have ever had an experience where society
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  expected you to do one thing, where culture tried to make you believe things
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  had to be a certain kind of way.
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  But you knew in the depths of your soul that just wasn't right for you.
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  Either it didn't fit with your family schedule or it caused you to compromise
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  some of the things that you have committed to.
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  What I have realized when my beliefs have been challenged is it is worth pressing
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  into and and exploring why.
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  Because sometimes when culture challenges our beliefs,
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  it helps us uncover that we either don't know why we believe what we believe,
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  and that can be a gift to lead us on a road of greater understanding,
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  even if we uphold the same beliefs.
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  Sometimes it will help us stand stronger in our convictions because we have
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  a greater understanding and
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  we know it so well that we can actually articulate it to somebody else.
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  When I have believed something my whole life and I know that's what I believe,
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  but I don't have words for it.
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  Then when I go back into the Bible and I see where it is clearly written in
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  scripture, I feel so good about that because I have a deeper,
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  more holistic understanding of scripture.
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  I'm more firmly planted in my convictions and I show up with a different level of confidence.
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  I used to always, always, and I smile at the thought of it now,
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  I really didn't perceive that there was any other way to start a new year other
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  than planning planning to the point of exhaustion,
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  having the matching markers with the overpriced planner and the matching stickers.
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  And I know it sounds so goofy to think about that now, but that's really how it was for me.
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  I got so caught up in the hype of that time of year.
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  However, what I knew for me though, was that it felt really rushed.
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  For me, December is a time of restoration with my family, even if it feels busy,
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  we've learned to say no to a lot of the things so we can say yes to the most important things.
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  And for us, that is relationship.
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  I was really missing out on the gift of the now.
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  The present. And I decided I was going to envision a different experience for myself and my family.
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  I decided to cast vision, to become curious on how I could personalize my week,
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  my month, my quarter, my year,
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  so that works for the season that myself personally and and my family is in.
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  And for many years, this meant staying home a lot more because we had multiple
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  young children, or I was pregnant, or I was nursing a baby.
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  And truly, we are just now seeing what it could look like to be out of that season.
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  Our youngest one is a year old. now december is
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  reserved for relationship because january
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  is a time where many people are starting all the new things and there's kind
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  of this cultural push to do that it's a very surface level reason to do it if
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  you don't have something deeper that is rooting you grounding you you, planting you.
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  And I like to think of the what is what are you doing in the new year?
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  It's the resolutions, it's the plans, it's the goals.
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  But the why behind the what is your root system.
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  So the why behind me planning is to leave a legacy for my kids.
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  And the legacy that I want want to leave my kids is freedom of choice.
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  That is one aspect for myself, to have freedom to choose how you spend your
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  time and whom you spend it with.
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  So I want to model that. I want to have my behaviors exemplify that.
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  And when they don't, I get to ask a question, why not?
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  And that's where where it all started for me. I asked myself, why not?
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  Why not do it different than what culture says? If that's what you believe God is calling you toward.
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  So present day in December, we really use that to invest in our relationships.
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  And then in January is when I use the time to plan, to vision cast,
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  to get everything written out on paper, to rebound a little bit from all of the holidays.
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  And it gives me this extra time because for me personally, and this would be
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  the next recommendation is number one, explore what it could like.
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  Number two, personalize it and write that down.
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  Because for myself, this idea of needing January to be a little bit more at
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  ease was compounded when I lost my beloved kid brother.
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  The date that he passed was in January and I realized that I naturally need
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  some extra time to process.
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  I naturally need less stuff
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  on the calendar so when those emotions bubble up I give myself the gift to process
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  them to feel them and I don't run so hard pursuing goals in January that I don't
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  feel the things in my body and then I crash and burn in March or April.
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  That's one example of how how I have really shifted things to work for me.
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  It comes down to how are we showing up for ourselves?
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  Because how we do one thing is how we will do everything.
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  And if we are not seeing the value in personalizing our life experience for
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  ourself, if we are not loving ourself enough to do that,
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  how can we ever expect to do that for the people that we profess out of our mouth that we love?
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  And February is a month where there's the very commercialized holiday here in
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  the United States of Valentine's Day.
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  And I love focusing on love. I absolutely do.
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  The challenge I have is when
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  the holiday becomes so commercialized that it's more about the value and the
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  purity of your love being equated to the expense of a gift you buy or an experience
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  you provide that taints the essential definition of love.
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  So today, I want to unpack three major types of love that I see exemplified in the Bible,
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  and I encourage you to explore them and see if you have them incorporated in your life.
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  And if you don't, explore, like we talked about in the beginning, get curious.
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  What could a life look like with these three different types of love very present in your life?
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  And from there, create a vision and write it down.
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  Eros love. This you may think of as physical love, even sexual love, romantic love.
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  Eros, E-R-O-S. And this is the type of love, I think many people feel you just
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  have to have in a marriage.
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  You can't have this until you're in a marriage. And that is not true.
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  You know, I deeply loved my husband in this capacity before we were married.
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  And I would even encourage those of you that are single, that you know that
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  that you're called to be in a married relationship down the road,
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  explore what this looks like and write down your non-negotiables for this type of love.
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  And those of you that are married, I encourage you to do the same.
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  My husband and I recently celebrated 10 years of marriage.
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  Thank you, Jesus, for this wonderful man.
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  It's really interesting because a lot can happen in a decade.
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  And for us, that meant having all four of our children, job transitions,
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  different vehicles being purchased, personal growth, depth of understanding
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  in the Bible. I mean, you grow so much in that time.
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  One of the things we get to do as a married couple is to revisit some of the
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  things we used to do well and see where we've gotten off track.
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  And then vision cast for what it looks like in our current season,
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  write a vision and then walk that out.
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  So that is romantic love, if you wanted to summarize it.
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  The next one is phylos. I think I'm saying that correctly.
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  Philos love, P-H-I-L-O-S. This can be described as brotherly love.
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  And brotherly doesn't just have to be male to male.
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  Another way to think of this is affection or friendship.
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  And one of the things that I learned after I had experienced some tragedies
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  was the value of expressing what is on your heart in the moment from a place.
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  Pure love. You just never know when you will no longer have the opportunity
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  to say I love you to somebody on earth.
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  We don't know when we will be called to eternity and there is an urgency.
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  I encourage you to live life with a faith-filled fervent spirit,
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  meaning don't delay on the things things you are called to do now.
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  Act on them immediately when you know God has called you to that.
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  And I do believe this is one of those things we often look at after the fact.
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  Oh my goodness, I no longer have the opportunity to express this in this way.
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  What I would give to be able to do that again.
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  Do it while you have the opportunity.
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  I have a couple of friends and we were recently discussing friendship and the depth of friendship.
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  And there were two main things that came out of those discussions.
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  One of them was, I love that we have the type of friendship where we can pick up where we left off.
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  But in addition to that, I really took the time to express and say,
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  even though we have that type of friendship,
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  and I value and love and appreciate that,
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  I also get to do better about
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  reaching out consistently has that
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  ever happened to you where some of your
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  best friendships and relationships are the
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  ones that become the most neglected because you
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  know they will love you regardless and I hear that story often and just because
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  it happens often doesn't mean that it should be acceptable if this convicts
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  you I encourage you today right now pause this and send that message make that phone.
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  Leave that recording, send the text, go speak to the person in person and express
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  how much you appreciate their friendship.
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  The other thing is, I was talking to another friend and I had shared with her
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  how sometimes as friends, we just expect they know how much we appreciate them.
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  I encourage you to say it. Speak those words out.
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  It's so important and we just never know what people are walking through.
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  So I encourage you to do that. Express it. And the third type of love is agape love.
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  You can think of this as sacrificial love, unconditional love,
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  the love of God the Father.
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  This is what I always think of with agape love.
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  If you want to unpack this, you can go into 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
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  I believe it's verses 1 through 13.
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  Do a study on that. Read through it.
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  It is so powerful to even begin to understand the depth of love the Father has for us.
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  This month, we're going to unpack these different kinds of love,
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  different ways to exemplify love,
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  what it looks like for us to show up and be love, even when other people are
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  not showing up in that way. We set the tone.
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  And this year, just remember, sow what it is you are are desiring.
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  If you are desiring more generosity in your life, go be more generous.
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  If you are desiring more patience, people to treat you with more patience,
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  go demonstrate patience. Be patient with people.
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  The people in your life right now, the clerk at the grocery store,
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  you know, I heard the most lovely way to love on somebody in a tangible way.
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  When I'm going through the grocery store and I see the clerk is having a hard
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  day or I just feel a prompting on my heart from the father, I'll ask them,
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  what is your favorite candy bar? If you could recommend one thing, what would it be?
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  And it appears as if they're asking for the advice of the clerk,
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  but really they're inviting them in to select their own treat.
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  They'll purchase it and then they'll hand it to the clerk on their way out and
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  give them a positive message.
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  You are amazing. Thanks for serving in this way.
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  I love the color of your hair. And find a way to just practically lift them up.
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  One more example is I was speaking with a friend today and she is making an
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  incredible planner, homemade.
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  She's created it and she had some odds and ends construction paper that was
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  extra from her dividers.
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  And it reminded me of something I used to do where I would make bookmarks out
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  of those and reuse them or gift them or I would simply fold those papers in half,
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  write an encouraging message and leave them in my neighbor's mailbox or put
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  them on a friend's windshield or put them in public somewhere in a random cart
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  or whatnot for somebody to be blessed.
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  So seek those opportunities. If you want to have more blessing in your life.
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  Go be a blessing. go be a blessing.
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  Heavenly Father, thank you so much for your love, your agape love.
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  And thank you, Lord, for sharing these other kinds of love to us.
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  Lord, I pray that we never miss an opportunity to express love to somebody, to demonstrate love,
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  to be love, because we know that exemplifies your character and that gives us
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  an opportunity to praise your name and glorify you.
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  You. In your mighty name, Jesus, we pray.
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  Amen. Hey mama, one quick thing before you go.
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  If this podcast blessed you in some way, the number one way you can pay it forward
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  is to head over to iTunes Treasured Mama Podcast and leave a review and subscribe to the channel.