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You Can Make A Difference Starting Today · The Leader Mentality

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Leader Mentality Show with Rob Clemens.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: We are here today in sunny Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and we have a great guest with us, as we always do on the Leader Mentality Show.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: But with each great guest comes a great opportunity to talk about leadership.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's what this is all about.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are a person that's out there and you're going through life and you're trying to figure out how you can make the biggest difference, we have different paths to how we're going to get to leadership.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so today we're talking about a little bit about changing courses throughout your career or changing courses just throughout your life.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: When do you get out of a certain situation and out of a one comfort zone and try to find yourself in another?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we have a guest today who's talking all about that with us.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: His name is Kerry Rowell.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um I've known Kerry from many places, but he's a local author in Myrtle Beach, and I'm just excited to have him on the show.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've known him for a while.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Kerry, welcome.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Rob.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Man, well, you know, Kerry, I'll tell you what, you know, from the stories that are just historically relevant, let's start with you heard the story about KFC, and I think about uh Sanders when he was starting that.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think he started that when he was in his 50s, uh KFC.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, anybody who's listening to the show, you've heard of KFC.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: But when Harlan Sanders was 49 years old, that thing didn't even exist.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And he changed course and he created something.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the creator of uh Harry Potter, I believe that she got rejected so many times before she wrote her first book or before she got her first book published.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you look at it, sometimes people feel like, oh, it's too late.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I can't get going.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: But but Carrie, one thing I I love as we're gonna talk about your book today, Significance Now, you started this whole career uh after another successful career.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into that.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: What have you been up to, man?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I actually had a uh 30-year career in the building supply industry.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then uh transitioned 25 years ago to financial services.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: I had a very successful career at that.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so now I'm in a stage where I'm kind of sliding into a semi-retirement, and I've got a very clear vision of what I want the next 20 years to look like, but I also know I have to make it look that way to do it.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: And the first part of it was writing this book, Significance Now.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: This is kind of my message to the world, and I hope people will read it and enjoy it and get something from it.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: But if no one does, that's still okay.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's still my message.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's still your message and it's still a passion.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Before we get into this, and we got a lot to talk about.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I want to hear all about this book today.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I want to go back to something you said a minute ago.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: You just talked about the next 20 years, and I love that.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's a that's a great tip for success for people because when you can think ahead at least five years, ten years, fifteen years, what does it look like?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you want to be?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Are you doing have you done that intentionally through each of these stops?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: You talked about being in the supply, and then you talked about being in investments and now doing this.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Did you intentionally do that or is has this happened naturally?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, these supply industry I thought I would be in my entire life.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then I had basically what I felt like was one opportunity to make a complete change.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: And that was 25 years ago, and I made that change, and it was a struggle, but it turned out to be very fruitful and very successful.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I I never intended to do that my entire life, meaning until I die.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I'm at a stage now where I'm looking at the basically the fourth quarter of my life.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: You can actually divide your life in, or at least I can, into into four 20-year quarters.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: First 20 years is growing up, being educated, and and be under your parents' care and all that.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: The next 20 years is the your first career or starting your career and learning your way around.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then in for my case, at least the the third 20 years was a brand new career in which I learned a lot of different things, and and uh you know that's been very good.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: So now I'm looking at at um hopefully I've got 20 productive years left of and so I'm looking at my last 20 years, and I don't want to wake up 20 years from now and say, I wish I had done this.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're not the kind of guy who just says it it feels to me that you're not the kind of guy who says, Yeah, I'm I'm that last fourth quarter, I'm just gonna be waiting to die one day, or I'm wait, you know, gonna maximize and use up all my money.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Feels like to me that you're still trying to maximize yourself.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think you have to do something, you have to be productive, and you know, when you have passions and you care about things, that doesn't end when you stop your main job or your main career.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, those passions continue.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: And you still have talents, you have a lot to offer.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, someone my age, and I'm being a little prejudiced because of my age, but someone my age has a lot more to offer than someone who's, say, 35 who hasn't lived a lot of life yet.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: I agree with that.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think that what happens is, and and we have all age ranges listening to the show, but I can tell you that it's great when people, as you get older and your wisdom grows.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of the biggest things that probably is the difference.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where I would tell the young crowd.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, I have some young people working for me at my construction company.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I tell them, you know, you might be the smartest person in the room, book smarts, you might know how to work technology better, but the wisdom is something that comes with the you know, years of experience and and learning different things.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I do love what you're saying there, and that makes a lot of sense.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: When you were a young man, uh, and you're still a young man, relatively, we're all young, right?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh what would you say uh about this?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Would you have thought that you were gonna write a book one day if I asked you in your 30s?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: No, I never never had the dream or thought of doing that.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it wasn't until I had a message that I wanted to share that I decided to write a book.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And tell us about that message.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: So we're we're talking about the book's significance now.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, what's the message of the book?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me a little bit of a you know, teaser for uh why you wrote it.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so the the main premise of the book is that it doesn't matter how much money you have or don't have, it doesn't matter how old or young you are, it doesn't matter where you grew up or if under what environment you grew up, you can make a difference in your community and you can do it starting today.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to wait until you're older, wait until you have more money or anything else.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: You can do it right now.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really what the book is about because I've read other books where people say, Well, you make all your money in your first half of life and you and you use it to make a difference in your second half of life, and that's great, but how do you know when your when your half of your life is over?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: When your halftime is?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, what a great question.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, some people's halftime is at 20 and some is some is at 50.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so you don't know when your halftime is.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so what if you never get to the stage when you're making a difference because you spend all that time trying to make money and then you're gone?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so I my point is you don't have to have money.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: If you think about if you think about the people who made the biggest difference in your life, it's probably not the wealthiest people that you know or that you have known.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably a a school teacher, it's a football coach, it's someone who kept you after school.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um my wife had a lady that kept her and the other kids in their community, their farming community after school, and and the lady who kept it had a dirt floor.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: And she was very poor, but she made a big impact on all of those children because she kept them, she taught them manual, she taught them how to clean.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Her dirt floor, from what I've been told, was as clean as your floor is in your cleaner.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe maybe cleaner than your floor.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Probably.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: So so it doesn't have to be, you know, people who make an impact are not the wealthiest.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now, wealthy people can make a big impact.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: They have resources to make an impact, but you don't have to be wealthy to make an impact.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You you're saying something that I mean it really speaks to me.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: We could go for a while on the subject.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I I want to make sure we do talk about your book today.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: But before we get into that, let's let's unpack some of these things you're saying.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because first of all, I I think about people who sometimes, when we get into charitable outreach.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you know myself, we've known each other for a while.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love to give back.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a time in my life where I didn't have a lot of money, but I still wanted to give back.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so we were doing a lot more of what I might call sweat equity.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a little bit more boots on the ground, if you know what I'm saying.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And as you you maybe go up that chain, sometimes you have a little bit more money, and now you can give money.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like the best things I've ever did were when I'm actually boots on the ground.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can you can touch it, you can feel it.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that when you're making that difference in such an authentic way, uh, nothing wrong with giving money.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: We do that all the time over at Carolina Bay's, for example, leader mentality.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: But um what do you see with your uh your side of things, the book and and your studies?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Where are people getting the the most, I don't know, given the most value in your opinion?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: So the the book starts off with my story, and it's not intended to be a religious book, but there is a Christian thread that runs through it.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um mainly because I believe that each person has been endowed by God with certain talents, certain things they're good at, and certain passions, and so I talk about how to find your calling.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Your calling is not usually a voice from heaven that comes down and says, Rob, I want you to go do this.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Your your calling is is uh based on how you were created with with gifts and with talents, things you're good at, things you're passionate about.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so when you identify those things and you line them up properly, then God opens doors of opportunity for you and you just walk through the doors.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: And you're not having to try to beat your head against a wall to to make something happen.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's how you find your calling, and it's it's difficult to really give back unless you're living in that realm of your calling or your intended place or your your your purpose place, because that's the point where you can start focusing on others and not focus on yourself.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: As long as you're focusing on yourself, you're not gonna make a tremendous impact.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: You have you have to be at a point where you can start focusing on others instead.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's go there.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: So you talk about focusing on others, and I believe that's a great starting point for if you're trying to find a business.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sometimes people are like, I want to be a business owner, I'm just not sure what I want to do.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd say, well, focus on where you can help others the most.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And what does that mean?
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, focus on something where people are maybe not being helped yet, right?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: When we're talking about business 101, you don't go copy the other 10 businesses that are already doing it.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: You find a segment that's not being helped and you figure out how to help them.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of what you're saying here, although we're talking more on the uh personal side.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: But when we're trying to make the biggest impact, it's not when we're focused on the self, we're focusing on others.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful, beautiful.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, then the other thing is, and this kind of ties into what we just said, finding your calling, and let's not talk about business so much.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So let's just talk about life.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: What do you say to that person that's out there and they're like, Why am I here?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I here?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I'm on this earth, I don't know what my calling is, I don't know why I'm great at.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: What would you say to that person, Carrie?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the one of the dairy lamas, I don't know how many there was, but one of them said that the the real meaning of life is is to help others.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um and a lot of people have a difficult time finding their calling.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: So part of my journey with that is I went to a uh Christian retreat at Garden City Beach years and years ago.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: And from that I came to the realization that when when Jesus called his disciples, he didn't call all of them to do the same thing.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: He called them based on their talents, things they were good at and things they were passionate about.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: For instance, Matthew was the scribe, tax collector became a scribe.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so our callings, I think, are the same, and it and I thought that I said, well, each of us has a calling.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: My calling's not the same as the Apostle Peter's calling or the same as your calling, but I have a calling and it's based on how God made me.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's based on the the talents that I have.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when you've lived through life and you've raised kids and you've worked a job that you hate for 20 years, sometimes those passions get buried so deep that it's hard to help them to resurface and say, where are my passions?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: What am I good at?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm good at surviving eight hours at work and drinking a case of beer.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, but but there are things that you're really good at and you have to you have to go to people you can trust who care about you and ask them, help me understand what I'm good at.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: I like that a lot.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't think we ask that question enough.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't uh you know, go to people who care about you.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Find somebody who actually is rooting for you.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what I mean by that, right?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: We we all have those people out there who, you know, you do well and you know, behind your back, they're like, oh gosh, you know.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: But we're talking about people who really have your best interest in hand and saying, what am I what do you think I'm great at?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the great thing about that, uh I'm gonna tell the people listening to the show, those people don't know everything either.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they may tell you, well, you're the best at this.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: They may not know what your talent is, but as you ask that question to enough good people, you're gonna be getting a good idea of what you're what you're pretty good at, right?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, and and and thinking back in your life about things you have done that you have really ex even if for a very short time period, what what have you done where you've ex- I keep hitting my watch on the table.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: But what if what have you done that that you've really excelled at even for a short period of time?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: For instance, when I was in college, I became the the president of the ministerial association there, and at that time that was only open to male students, and only the male students for a certain class were allowed to have opportunities to go into churches and that kind of thing.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: And we just thought that was really wrong.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: So um I took it over, and with some friends of mine, we revamped it, we invited women to join for the very first time, and we provided opportunities for for every member of the association.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I I never thought about it at the time, but looking back on that, oh, that tells me something that I'm good at.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And well we well, I won't tell that part, but uh Carrie, are you gonna tell me this is how you were picking up dates back in the day?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, it's not.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: No, I didn't, I didn't have to do with dates.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: But but anyway, you know, that's tells me that I was good at organization, I was good at motivating people, I was good at bringing a team together to accomplish something.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: And though and and that tells a lot about you going forward, but I had never thought about that until actually I started on this book.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: As far as leadership goes, uh we can describe leadership to me, uh anybody who listens to the show, you know I think leadership is a trait, not a title, right?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um as far as your leadership goes, since you just went there, uh what would you describe your leadership as?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I'm gonna give you four types.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even gonna make your life easy.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: So there's there's tend to be four types of uh I'm gonna say managers more than leaders, actually.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um one of them is the rah-rah type.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like, hey, everybody, let's go.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's all emotion and and you know getting people fired up.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: The second one is is ruling by a little bit more of a sternness to them.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um if it was football, I always like to use Bill Parcells.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: You remember Bill Parcell from back in the day?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: People said he would do things based on his uh more like uh not intimidation, but of there's a certain amount of like, oh, I don't want to cross the coach here.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Then you had ruling by love, and this is more of a patience and kind of a kindness.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then the last one is just ruling by purely, and I'm using the word ruling, managing by um uh kind of like clockwork by planning.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Rob, I'm I'm an analytical and I'm a task-oriented person.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: If I make a list of tasks, I can't rest until I complete all those tasks.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so my leadership style would be to have a schedule of task and a priority of task, and then of course you have to get the the people with you to buy in to that schedule of task.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I think you do that by you showing the importance of it, you showing the passion that you have for it, and showing them how it will uh improve a circumstance or situation for them.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're well, you're showing it how it's worked for you.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And and I picture that when you do this as a uh in a leadership stat, um, leadership isn't always about, you know, that you're again, you're not necessarily even having to be the manager, but you're saying, here's something that works for me, and and it has definitely had success, and it can work for you too.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um we would a lot of times I I would when I use football coaches, I would use that as my uh my Bill Belichick example.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I said Bill Barcells a minute ago, but Bill Belichick was always prepared.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Every T was crossed, every I was guided, and the team always has thrived through that.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not gonna work for everybody, but it did work for you.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so then you you use that as part of your management technique.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's really cool.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let's talk about the book.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we have about 10, 12 minutes left on the show.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about the book itself so people understand more about it.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, before we get into that, let me ask you, how long did it take you to write Significance Now?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I started on this probably 13 years ago.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the kind of thing you I'd get some inspiration, I'd work on it a little bit, and this life things would happen, and I put it down for sometimes a year or two years.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, I had major surgery four and a half years ago, and I had put it down for over two years at that point.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: After my surgery, I decided that I well, once I realized I had survived, I decided that that I need to finish my book.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I don't want to leave this life without my message being there.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And and it's also part of part of my legacy.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so uh I kind of coined success or defined success or significance as being a higher level than success.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: So there's an equation that's commonly used for success, which is passion plus competence equals success.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: Score uses it, the chamber of commerce has used it, the old passion test that was popular 20 years ago used it.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: So but when I read that, I look, I said, why just competence?
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because I can do anything in this world 60 hours a week with a good coach, and I can become competent.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: If if I took if I was younger and I and I took tennis lessons every day and played tennis every day and had a good coach, I could become really good at tennis.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Now I could I could probably never win a major tournament because I don't have the talent.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: So that's I said what happens if you change if you change competence to excellence.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: What what does passion plus excellence equal?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: And how do you transition from competence to excellence?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Carrie, I love this.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, let's talk about this, right?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: We know that when we're growing up, we hear certain things all the time.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can do anything you want to.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's usually your mom telling you this.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can do anything you want to.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I'm I'm five foot nine with no jumping ability.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can go be in the MBA, Rob.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is, is in your example here, you're saying you can be probably competent at playing basketball, but maybe you want to focus on where you can be excellent.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: The talent level should play a role in some of this decision making.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: If I want to be really, really good at something.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to really excel at something, then you need talent for it.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: For instance, um, I know people who love to sing, but they can't carry a note.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: But they still love to and I don't care if they sing, but but I don't want to sit and listen to them all day because they can't carry a note.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: So they have a passion for that, but don't have any talent for it.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you know what's really interesting about that, Carrie?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's there's that part of us that we want to be supportive, and you never want to tell somebody, don't, don't chase your dream.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, look, if it's your dream, don't let anybody tell you you can't do it.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, we're we're just mainly making the point of if I'm as a human being, if I'm out there, I'm saying, hey, I got three things I could go try.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um I want to find the one that obviously I have passion for it, because if you don't have passion for it, you'll give up the first time it's hard.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I also want to find the one that I think I can do well.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if I could be the greatest guitar player ever or the worst piano player ever, I I think I want to go try the guitar.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's just my style.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: But and I believe within that you find a lot of uh inner fulfillment, right?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: So the the way you transition from competence to excellence it Excellence is you inject talent.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so you you could say that passion plus competence plus talent, which equals excellence, equals, and I said well, it can't be success, it has to be higher than success.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: We've replaced competence with excellence.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I say that that that equals significance.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Significance, okay.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's when you can really be significant, you can make a difference when you're when you're operating in that area where you're utilizing your talents and your passions together.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this is always about one thing I've I've gotten from you a lot.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've known you for a while, and I felt like you're always like this.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think that to you, significance isn't about your personal significance, it's about the significance in others' lives.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: And and I go through the book and I compare success to significance.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: In other words, success is looking at yourself, significance is focusing on others.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I've and I give a whole list of comparisons there so you can really see the difference between success and significance.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, are you striving for the right goal?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: And and you know, I I was in a place with a prior career where I reached my goal that I had set years before that, and then when I got there, I said, Is this all there is?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, what a man, what a beautiful point, Carrie.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're wondering, you get there and you're going, is this all there is?
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: So then what happened after that?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: I changed careers.
• 23:34
  unknown: Right, right, right?
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: So you so you'll find something else.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I changed companies actually, but not careers.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: I change careers later.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um but yeah, so you you know, when you get there, uh it it's not always as shiny as you think it's gonna be.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so you have to have more purpose, a deeper purpose than just that.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: I I'd agree with that completely.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think that sometimes it can even feel hollow when you finally reach that goal.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we hear about these Olympians who go out and they win a gold medal, and when it's all over, they're kind of like, well, well, now what?
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the now what always has an opportunity at whatever age you are, um, whatever stage of life you're in, the opportunity is always there to help somebody else, you know.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think what beautiful more beautiful gift if a guy like Michael Phelps could teach somebody how he swim and to become a success.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I think that's where you're going.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: I really love the significance.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now, do you have a good story you can share with us from the book?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or yeah is it?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Let me share.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I've got six stories in the book about everyday ordinary people who made a big impact in their community.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: And some of most of us, the scope of our of our impact is is our local community.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so I've got six stories of everyday ordinary people who made impact.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll share one with you.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: One of them uh people may be familiar with Isaac Bailey, who was a journalist here for a long time, and now he's up at Davidson College.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: I actually read a story about Isaac's mother, and so I contacted Isaac and I said, I'm writing this book.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Can I use your mother's story in this book?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: And her name was Elizabeth Bailey or Beth Bailey.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um she was she grew up in the Jim Crow South over in St.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: Stephen, and she was given to a man in marriage when she was 13 years old.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, was in that abusive marriage for 25 years, uh, bore and raised 11 children.
• 25:30
  unknown: Uh-huh.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um she worked at the after she got divorced, she worked at a George Pacific plant over in Russellville, and she saved her money and she bought property and she put homes on that property, and she rented to people no one else would rent to.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: She rented to people who are just getting out of prison, she rented to recovering drug addicts, she taught those people how to how to cook, she taught them how to shop, she taught them how to manage their money, she helped them get jobs.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: She would go and stand for them at the courthouse, she would go to the local jail if they got arrested and advocate for them.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: And here was a lady who basically had nothing.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: And she would she was abused for 25 years.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: But of her eleven children, I think eight of them ended up going to some to some type of college.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and so she raised some amazing children, Isaac being one of them, and and she made a tremendous impact on her community.
• 26:31
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I wanted her to be remembered, and so she's one of the six stories in this book.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Now, my next book that I'm working on now, I'm looking for 30 or 40 stories just like that.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that can be anywhere in the country.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I want to I wanted because when I got I was gonna do four stories, and I got four done, and I heard about some one other person, so I gotta put him in there.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: So then I read about Isaac's mother, and I said, Oh gosh, she's perfect.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta put her in the book.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, I gotta stop somewhere.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I stopped, stopped at six.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I'll I'm doing another book where it's gonna be nothing but stories.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you know, you you can read this book to learn how to how to be significant, but you read the other book to read about people who have been and are so significant, and these are everyday ordinary people.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: These are not the Bill Gates and the Warren Buffett's and people and even even a Dottie.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: Dottie Parton has been terribly significant.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: And and she's been great, but but she's a celebrity.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: These are not celebrities, these are the this is the guy down the street.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the best kind of stories, by the way, because uh uh there are a lot of people who are behind the scenes doing work every single day, and they're keeping their chin up when things go tough, and they're making differences for people when those people didn't have anybody else making a difference for them.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: And just like the story you just told, I love it that you're bringing these people to the forefront because here's the best part about those people they didn't do it to end up in a book.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't do it to go on stage and say, hey, look at me and look at all the great things I did, but they did it because they were compelled, and maybe that significance that they have, the significance now, is something that brought them some fulfillment, but more importantly, it brought the people around them to another plane that they wouldn't have been on without them.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: So that's very cool.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: Carrie, how are you gonna find those 30 to 40 people?
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just asking people.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: I said if you know know someone, send me a message, call me, send me an email, give me the contact information, I reach out to them, I explain what I'm doing, then I do an interview.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: And after an interview, I I write the story, then I send the story to them for for approval.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and if they approve, then it goes in the book.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I like it.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Carrie, I've uh as we talk about this book, and I want to give the people one more chance to hear about it at the end of this, but you've done some sales training over your career.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we have talked about just a ton of success.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: One thing that you guys who are listening may not know about Kerry, Kerry is one of the most consistent guys I've known.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: He goes out to his his you know networking events, he's very consistent with the message you share.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he's not a high pressure, you've got to do this with me today, but always planting the seed with the people he talks to.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just I've always respected that you market yourself well and that you sell yourself well.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um you told me a story one time.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: I just thought it was funny.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a quick quip, but uh you talked about you equated um I believe it was um uh Hercules.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Am I thinking about this one right?
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's Samson.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was a story about Samson.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Just if you could share that quip, I thought it was really funny.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so uh I used to use this a lot in sales training, but lately no one knows who Samson was.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: But uh Samson was one of the minor prophets in the Old Testament, and Samson was known for his long hair and his terrific strength.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: And his strength was tied to his hair.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, not literally, but you know, you know, which was all of his hair because what God had set up.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: And uh so people, salespeople who talk themselves into a cell and then out of a cell, I say they have the Samson dilemma.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: And the Samson dilemma is Samson killed 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass, and every day, just as many sales are killed with the same tool.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the context of that is we look, I've done a lot of sales training.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: It is, it's funny because at the end of the day, when you're getting into salesmanship, this is about a person with a problem and you have a solution, and you'll talk sometimes, especially a new guy, so much that they run right past the point of what the people needed.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: Just let's just solve an issue.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of uh relevant here because when we're talking about your book here, sounds like you really are trying to uh spread a little bit of solving some things for people, but as much as anything, finding your calling and making the world a better place.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: And what better thing could we do than that?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, very cool.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Kerry, let's talk.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I want to make sure we have uh a couple of minutes here.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh just tell the people again how can they get a copy of your book and um and and maybe even get involved with the next one.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I am now on the Amazon best seller list in three categories.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: Hey.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: So you can find my book on Amazon's website, you can find on Barnes and Noble's website, you can find on Grimm's website.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: All right, nice.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, hey, look, I'm I'm gonna get myself a copy and I'm gonna ask everybody out there look, if you're at your house, wherever you're listening at this point to this show, you could be sitting at work right now, and this is just in the background.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to hear me now.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: You have the power at any given time to change your life and somebody else's, and it's very rarely gonna be when you're being selfish.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be when you're thinking about that thing that you can do.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna find that gap.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: Find somebody who needs some help and go help them.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is the best way to turn around your life and turn around somebody else's.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, Carrie, I I appreciate this significance now.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being on the show.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: And we definitely we'll want to have you back on again sometime because we don't have enough time in a 30-minute show to do this.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: But absolutely.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, for my viewers at at home, thank you for listening.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: Please make sure to like and share us on your social media.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, go out, make the world a better place, and we always can uh grow from that.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, we want to thank you all for listening, and we'll catch you all next time on the Leader Mentality Show with Rob Clemens.