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Phone Etiquette Tips: Communicate Better on Every Call · How To Talk To Humans

• 0:00
  Larry Wilson: Hi, this is Larry Wilson, and this is How to Talk to Humans.
• 0:04
  Larry Wilson: This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills.
• 0:10
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to get a better job?
• 0:12
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to find a relationship?
• 0:15
  Larry Wilson: Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far?
• 0:21
  Larry Wilson: I can show you so easily how to change that.
• 0:25
  Larry Wilson: Now, I can only do it with humans.
• 0:27
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies extraterrestrials, this is not the joke.
• 0:32
  Larry Wilson: But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned for 40 years in the show business working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world.
• 0:47
  Larry Wilson: And their secrets are unbelievable.
• 0:51
  Larry Wilson: What I'm going to be teaching you during the course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success.
• 1:04
  Larry Wilson: Hi, thanks for joining me again for another episode of How to Talk to Humans.
• 1:11
  Larry Wilson: I'd like to talk today about.
• 1:14
  Larry Wilson: Sometimes I hear what I'm about to say and it makes me laugh.
• 1:20
  Larry Wilson: I was going to say about how to talk on the telephone to humans.
• 1:25
  Larry Wilson: Some of you are thinking, what?
• 1:28
  Larry Wilson: You just dial and talk.
• 1:31
  Larry Wilson: Yes.
• 1:32
  Larry Wilson: Others of you thinking, you can call people on your phone?
• 1:36
  Larry Wilson: I thought that was just for like, you know, playing games and watching videos.
• 1:41
  Larry Wilson: Yes, you can actually use your phone for speaking to other humans.
• 1:46
  Larry Wilson: And uh it's it seems like a simple thing.
• 1:52
  Larry Wilson: You know, in other episodes, you've heard me talk about the three D's in Wilson Method.
• 2:00
  Larry Wilson: That is to determine, define, and deploy.
• 2:04
  Larry Wilson: And that second D, define, is very important because we use, uh sorry, I should back up even more.
• 2:14
  Larry Wilson: The first D is to determine your goal in communication and define the means of transmission so that you can deploy the tools that you're learning in Wilson Method.
• 2:28
  Larry Wilson: Defining that means of transmission is mission critical because there's different tools to deploy.
• 2:38
  Larry Wilson: On the phone, you're going to be using different things than you would be using face-to-face, on a Zoom call, in a text, in an email, in a handwritten hardcopy, all different.
• 2:53
  Larry Wilson: But the phone is a very unusual one because, and I'm assuming this really is your phone, as opposed to a uh uh video call or a FaceTime call, um, that would be more like a Zoom or you know something on the internet.
• 3:10
  Larry Wilson: But uh on a telephone call, we are at a disadvantage because we don't get any facial affect from the person we're speaking with.
• 3:26
  Larry Wilson: Some people never think about this.
• 3:28
  Larry Wilson: I wouldn't be surprised if you yourself had never considered this.
• 3:34
  Larry Wilson: But so much semiotic information is coming from their facial affect.
• 3:41
  Larry Wilson: When you're speaking to someone in person, the air is thick with information.
• 3:50
  Larry Wilson: Now, it may be unconscious on both parties' parts.
• 3:54
  Larry Wilson: Uh the person you're speaking to, they may not be conscious of what they're sending, and you may not be conscious of what information is coming in.
• 4:04
  Larry Wilson: Or some of you may be more conscious than others.
• 4:08
  Larry Wilson: I'm hoping that part of the learning process of this podcast is sensitizing you to the idea that there is a flood of unspoken information being signaled to you all the time in communications with humans, with dolphins, with cocker spaniels, that I don't know.
• 4:36
  Larry Wilson: It's a separate issue.
• 4:38
  Larry Wilson: But with humans, there's a wealth of information.
• 4:41
  Larry Wilson: If you take advantage of it, you can accomplish so much more, you can feel so much more secure in your efforts, whether it's in business, whether it's a personal relationship, you will be so much more effective if you're paying attention to this semiotic information.
• 5:10
  Larry Wilson: When we don't have facial affect, like I say, we're at a severe disadvantage.
• 5:18
  Larry Wilson: All we can go on that's uh semiotic, obviously, the person speaking, we can hear their words.
• 5:26
  Larry Wilson: But the semiotic information that's being signaled is in the tone of their voice, in the timber of their voice, in the uh pace, the rhythm of how they're speaking, in how they react to things we say, how we react to things they say.
• 5:49
  Larry Wilson: All of these are non-spoken, non-verbal, but very, very useful, very informative.
• 5:58
  Larry Wilson: I know, I'm trying not to make this a podcast for only for millennials.
• 6:07
  Larry Wilson: I know that younger people in particular have difficulty with the phone.
• 6:13
  Larry Wilson: I won't regale you with tales I've heard of uh crazy situations.
• 6:22
  Larry Wilson: I just said I wasn't gonna regale you, and now it sounds like I'm starting to about failure to make a restaurant reservation because nobody wanted to use the phone to call.
• 6:35
  Larry Wilson: It's too intimidating.
• 6:36
  Larry Wilson: Well, obviously, of course, this is a simple problem that can be resolved easily.
• 6:44
  Larry Wilson: But rather than go into the specifics about it, I want to point out to some of my younger viewers and listeners here that if you refer to the first D in the three D's in Wilson Method, which is to determine your goal in communication, just a moment's preparation before you pick up the phone can make it so much less stressful and easy to accomplish.
• 7:16
  Larry Wilson: Now, I titled this episode phone etiquette.
• 7:20
  Larry Wilson: I guess that's accurate.
• 7:22
  Larry Wilson: Of course, I'm really talking about technique.
• 7:26
  Larry Wilson: Uh, etiquette usually refers to manners and being a proper and polite.
• 7:33
  Larry Wilson: I'm just assuming you're always going to be that way.
• 7:37
  Larry Wilson: But there's a simple solution for one problem.
• 7:43
  Larry Wilson: Many people make the mistake on a telephone call, especially if it involves business, of thinking they somehow have to blast all the info that's pertinent out all in one fell swoop.
• 7:58
  Larry Wilson: Obviously, this cannot be done successfully.
• 8:04
  Larry Wilson: It's not possible.
• 8:06
  Larry Wilson: I understand the feeling.
• 8:08
  Larry Wilson: If you realize that's what's making you anxious, that's what's making you stressed and uptight, then you can reverse engineer that, wind that down, and make it easier for you.
• 8:26
  Larry Wilson: And in the process, you'll find hugely successful.
• 8:30
  Larry Wilson: When you telephone, obviously, if it's someone you know, you don't have to worry about any of this.
• 8:40
  Larry Wilson: But if it's someone you don't know, let us say it's a cold call.
• 8:45
  Larry Wilson: You're reaching out to someone in business you've never spoken to, you've never met, then the first thing you have to do is introduce yourself.
• 8:58
  Larry Wilson: Doesn't mean you have to use your last name.
• 9:02
  Larry Wilson: You can if you feel it's appropriate.
• 9:04
  Larry Wilson: But if it's really about business, you want to identify yourself by some name and where you're calling from, what the business association, so that you can say, Hi.
• 9:22
  Larry Wilson: This is Larry Wilson calling from Wilson Method.
• 9:29
  Larry Wilson: Now that seems so obvious and so simple, but now the recipient on the other end knows a name and knows are you calling from Wilson Method?
• 9:43
  Larry Wilson: Are you calling from the IRS?
• 9:46
  Larry Wilson: Are you calling from my bank?
• 9:48
  Larry Wilson: All of these things give them some idea of what is about to take place.
• 9:57
  Larry Wilson: This is why you don't want to rush and try to vomit up everything all at once.
• 10:03
  Larry Wilson: It's too much information, it's too hard for them to process all at once.
• 10:07
  Larry Wilson: Give it to them in little pieces.
• 10:11
  Larry Wilson: You've identified who you are.
• 10:13
  Larry Wilson: Now, if you have a specific person you're trying to reach, you may want to take a breath there after introducing yourself.
• 10:22
  Larry Wilson: Because they may say, How may I help you?
• 10:26
  Larry Wilson: Who would you like to speak to?
• 10:29
  Larry Wilson: How can I connect you?
• 10:31
  Larry Wilson: Or they may not say anything.
• 10:33
  Larry Wilson: Or they might sort of go, Okay, whatever they react is fine.
• 10:38
  Larry Wilson: Then you should probably tell them who it is you're trying to reach.
• 10:44
  Larry Wilson: Uh and you can phrase it however you like.
• 10:50
  Larry Wilson: You can say, May I have Bob Jones, please?
• 10:55
  Larry Wilson: Or I'd like to speak with Bob Jones.
• 11:00
  Larry Wilson: Or um Bob Jones asked me to call.
• 11:06
  Larry Wilson: Or I'm returning Bob Jones' call, if that's the case.
• 11:13
  Larry Wilson: Or um, could you connect me, please, with Bob Jones?
• 11:21
  Larry Wilson: Any of these are perfectly acceptable.
• 11:26
  Larry Wilson: And you will find it much less stressful if you spend sixty seconds to rehearse that.
• 11:35
  Larry Wilson: I'm gonna call, they're gonna say hello, blah, blah, blah, Bob Jones Industries.
• 11:42
  Larry Wilson: I'm gonna say hi.
• 11:43
  Larry Wilson: This is Larry Wilson from Wilson Method, or whatever your name is.
• 11:49
  Larry Wilson: May I speak with Bob Jones, please?
• 11:52
  Larry Wilson: You could also condense that if you find it appropriate, but do not try to wing it.
• 12:01
  Larry Wilson: Rehearse it.
• 12:02
  Larry Wilson: Take a moment and rehearse it.
• 12:03
  Larry Wilson: You might say, Hi, Larry Wilson here calling for Bob, if that's appropriate.
• 12:12
  Larry Wilson: Now, if Bob is the only person in the company, it makes sense.
• 12:15
  Larry Wilson: But if it's a big company, you might have to say, Hi, I'm Larry Wilson calling for Bob Jones, please.
• 12:23
  Larry Wilson: Again, it's so clear.
• 12:26
  Larry Wilson: But do not dump your entire life story on the receptionist or the person answering the phone, because they more than likely don't have time to deal with you.
• 12:37
  Larry Wilson: If it's a big company, they may immediately try to, you know, reroute you to wherever you're supposed to go.
• 12:44
  Larry Wilson: If it's a small company, this I think is a golden opportunity.
• 12:51
  Larry Wilson: If it's a small company and there's one person who's the dedicated person who answers the phone who's the receptionist there, this is a glorious opportunity for you to make an authentic contact with someone.
• 13:04
  Larry Wilson: And to say, you still would introduce yourself, but if the person says, Oh, uh, Mr.
• 13:10
  Larry Wilson: Jones is in a meeting right now, uh, he'll be uh back in a half an hour.
• 13:16
  Larry Wilson: Um now they may say, they've probably been trained, they may say, Can I send you to his voicemail?
• 13:24
  Larry Wilson: You could say, sure, that's fine, although very few people these days seem to listen to voicemail.
• 13:31
  Larry Wilson: So you might say, Oh, could I give you a message to give to them?
• 13:36
  Larry Wilson: Now, at that point, they might say yes, they might say no, but it's a great opportunity to say, I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
• 13:45
  Larry Wilson: And you say, Oh, this is Lucille.
• 13:50
  Larry Wilson: And you can say, Oh, great, thank you so much.
• 13:55
  Larry Wilson: Is that possible, Lucille?
• 13:56
  Larry Wilson: Could I leave a message that that way I know?
• 14:00
  Larry Wilson: I'm never sure about voicemail.
• 14:03
  Larry Wilson: Seems like sometimes people don't listen to it, but I know that you'll give Bob the message directly.
• 14:09
  Larry Wilson: And in talking and in connecting with someone, if the person seems relaxed, if they seem friendly, there's nothing wrong with after them saying, Oh yeah, I'm gonna leave a message, uh, Larry Wilson, and here's my number, and it's regarding whatever it's regarding.
• 14:30
  Larry Wilson: And you might say, Oh, I really appreciate that.
• 14:32
  Larry Wilson: Uh, you're in uh Seattle, aren't you?
• 14:36
  Larry Wilson: And they might say, if you know that's where they are.
• 14:38
  Larry Wilson: And I'd say, is it dumping rain there like it is here in Wichita or wherever you are?
• 14:45
  Larry Wilson: I'm not saying you have to say these exact words.
• 14:48
  Larry Wilson: I'm saying that you could speak to them like a human being, asking them about the weather, asking them if uh they have big plans for their weekend come, whatever it is.
• 15:03
  Larry Wilson: But just striking up the slightest amount of conversation that sounds normal and sounds human is likely to make them remember you the next time you call.
• 15:16
  Larry Wilson: The other biggest concern I've heard from millennials is they don't know how to end a telephone conversation.
• 15:25
  Larry Wilson: You may be surprised to find it's very easy.
• 15:28
  Larry Wilson: You say, goodbye.
• 15:31
  Larry Wilson: Now, I know some of you are going, that's the problem.
• 15:35
  Larry Wilson: I don't know when to say it.
• 15:36
  Larry Wilson: Well, you can feel, and if you practice this, you will become better and better at it.
• 15:43
  Larry Wilson: Once you have wrapped up whatever your business is.
• 15:46
  Larry Wilson: Now, I just moments ago suggested you speaking a little conversationally with him.
• 15:52
  Larry Wilson: You don't have to do that.
• 15:53
  Larry Wilson: This is Larry Wilson calling for Bob.
• 15:56
  Larry Wilson: I'm sorry, Bob's in a meeting.
• 15:57
  Larry Wilson: Can I send you to his voicemail?
• 15:59
  Larry Wilson: Uh is it possible you could take a message and make sure he gets it?
• 16:03
  Larry Wilson: This is really important that he sees it before the end of the day.
• 16:07
  Larry Wilson: Oh, okay.
• 16:08
  Larry Wilson: And they give it to you.
• 16:09
  Larry Wilson: So they've taken your number, they've taken your name, you say, I really appreciate your help.
• 16:16
  Larry Wilson: This in almost all cases will generate a reaction.
• 16:22
  Larry Wilson: They might say, You're very welcome, or no problem, or okay, or it's all good, or some other cra at which point you can then say, You've just said, I really you can say thank you, goodbye.
• 16:41
  Larry Wilson: Or you could just say great, I'll be looking forward to hearing from him soon.
• 16:50
  Larry Wilson: At which point they will reply something.
• 16:54
  Larry Wilson: Anytime you say something that instigates a reply, hopefully, when they reply, you can then say, Thank you.
• 17:04
  Larry Wilson: That's great, I appreciate it.
• 17:07
  Larry Wilson: Goodbye.
• 17:08
  Larry Wilson: That's all you have to do, just like I'm gonna do here.
• 17:14
  Larry Wilson: I appreciate you being here.
• 17:16
  Larry Wilson: I look forward to seeing you next week for another episode of How to Talk to Humans.
• 17:22
  Larry Wilson: This has been Larry Wilson.
• 17:25
  Larry Wilson: I want to thank you for spending this time with me, and I hope you found this information useful.
• 17:31
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking for more, you can find it at thewilsonmethod.com.
• 17:36
  Larry Wilson: There's a ton of stuff there.
• 17:38
  Larry Wilson: But if you want, you can even speak to me because I'm human.
• 17:45
  Larry Wilson: Send me an email at info at WilsonMethod.com because I read every single one.
• 17:53
  Larry Wilson: I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey.
• 18:00
  Larry Wilson: And you'll be with me for the next episode of How to Talk to You.