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Why is it so hard for narcissists to admit when they are wrong? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about why don't narcissists just
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  admit that they are wrong? When you have proof, when you
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  have evidence, why don't they just say, hey, I'm sorry, Why
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  don't they just do that? It's easy, right?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So boom, welcome back, folks. Welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back. Yes.
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  So why do narcissists just refuse to just tell the truth?
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  Why don't why they just refuse to admit when they are wrong?
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  Why can't they just be like, look, I'm sorry, yes, yes, I did
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  it. I admit to it.
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  I know you have evidence. Look, look, look, I know you
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  have evidence. I knew he had proof and I just
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  want to admit to it. I'm guilty, guilty ass charged
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  like Dewey Cox. Why don't they do that?
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  It seems like they will be easier when it because that's
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  what I get from a lot of people. A lot of people just say Lee,
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  Why don't they just it's easier to just admit that they are
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  wrong and apologize and move forward from it.
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  No, it's easier to you. It's easier for you, it doesn't
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  mean it's going to be easier for that narcissistic person.
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  And here's why y'all narcissists are extremely shame avoidant.
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  Narcissistic people tend to be extremely shame avoided.
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  So what I mean by shame avoided is like they want, want to avoid
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  shame at nearly at at any cost, right?
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  So even though I know I've done wrong, even though I know I'm
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  caught, even though I know it, you have proof you showed me.
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  I, I, I know it's me. That's a picture of me.
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  That's a screenshot of what I said.
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  That's me. And that's me caught in the act
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  of what you're accusing me of. But I'm not going to admit to it
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  because that would shift the power to you.
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  You think you have the power, right?
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  Because you have evidence. You think you have the power
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  because you have proof. Yeah.
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  That's what you think, right? That's what you think, right?
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  But you don't. In the mind of a narcissist, you
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  don't have the power because I do.
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  Because I have something that you require.
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  I have something that you feel like you need, right?
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  I have something that you keep asking for, you damn near
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  begging me for, right? So you don't have the power,
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  even though you have screenshots, even though you
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  have a signed affidavit, even though you have a notarized copy
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  of me doing what I've done. A notary, a notary public saw me
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  doing it and signed off on it with their little notary stamp
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  is stamp is dated everything. They caught me.
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  You don't have the power I do because you need it.
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  You need me to confess and that is precisely why I tell people.
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  You know, this is one of the things I've been saying since
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  the beginning of my page. You do not need a confession
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  from a narcissist. You want one.
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  Of course you don't need one unless you need it for court or
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  something like you need to get them on camera admitting to to
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  doing this assault or something like that.
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  I understand that right there when when there is higher powers
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  involved, but for you mentally for you to move on, you don't
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  need a confession. You don't need admittance of
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  guilt. I say this all the time.
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  Police don't need a confession. The police, the pulpos, them
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  boys, the men in black, they don't need a confession, right?
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  They don't they if they have proof, if they have enough
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  evidence circumstances, they don't even need real they don't
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  even need indisputable evidence. They will prosecute your ass on
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  with circumstantial evidence. The circumstance was they they
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  don't have to have actual official evidence.
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  It's circumstantial like this could be evidence or could not
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  be evidence and they will still get a guilty verdict on your
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  ass. So why do you so why you know,
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  why do you need more? This this is something internal
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  right here. Why do you need more?
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  This is a quest. This is homework and homework
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  from the narcissist homework from Lee Hammock.
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  Why do you need more? Why I just want to I just want
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  to hear them and make the day wrong.
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  You know they're wrong. You know it, some people, some
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  people. So I do coaching over Zoom,
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  right? I do my zoom coaching right.
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  And this is one of the things that I asked people right here.
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  I asked people, you know, why? Why do you need that?
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  Why do you need to hear them say that?
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  And, and one girl, she said flat out told me she's like, it was
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  my ego. My my ego is in the way.
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  My ego wants me to hear them say those, say those words.
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  Yes, it's me. My ego needs for me to hear them
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  say it. And I told you so do you
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  actually need that? No, I want it.
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  So there's a there's a difference between need and
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  want. You need some.
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  Yeah. You need some liquid, some,
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  some, some type of water. You need water to survive,
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  Right. But you want a Sprite, You want
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  a crisp ginger ale? You want a crisp Canada dry, but
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  you all you got is spray and all you got is water.
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  You just need water. You don't need the confession
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  because as long as you are, as long as you have that, you need
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  something from them. They feel like they have the
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  power. They feel like they have the
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  control. So I'm not going to give you
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  what you need, especially if this is the like, if you've
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  caught me in the ACT multiple times, I damn sure ain't about
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  to say nothing to you. Why the hell I give you
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  anything? Why would I give you?
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  Why would I admit to something that you not going to hold me
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  accountable for? That doesn't make sense to me.
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  You said that's the mind of a narcissist.
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  I know it makes sense to you. Listen to this.
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  If you're not a narcissist, it makes sense to you, but to them,
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  it doesn't make sense, right? To them, it doesn't make sense
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  to them. It's just like, why the hell
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  would I say that to you? If you're not going to leave me,
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  why the hell would I give you any bit of power?
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  Plus I think, plus in my mind, I think you're recording me, so
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  you're going to expose. Why would the hell would I give
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  you something to expose me with? That's dumb to me, that's stupid
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  in my mind, that's stupid. Why the hell would I give you
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  something, some type of evidence for you to expose me with and
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  have me looking stupid in front of everybody?
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  Why would I do that? That's how a lot of narcissist
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  minds work right there y'all. Why the hell would I give you
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  this proof? Why the hell would I give you
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  this power over me if I'm not going to be held accountable
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  anyway? If we're, if we're just going to
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  go back to life as normal tomorrow and not ever speak
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  about this again, why would I say anything to you about it?
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  Believe maybe because they carried a note, note that's you
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  take you out of it, take you away from here.
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  Why would I as the narcissist in this situation, why would I do
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  that? If I'm not going to be, it's not
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  going to be beneficial to me. Most narcissists are not going
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  to do anything that is not that's not beneficial to them.
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  They're not going to do anything that is not directly beneficial
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  to them. They just are not going to do
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  that. So I hope, like I said, when you
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  listen, when you, when you have this proof, you have this
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  evidence, you can reconcile with it because like you don't need a
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  confession from a narcissistic person.
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  You don't need them to admit to anything because like, why would
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  I as as the narcissist, I'm not going to admit to that because
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  they give you the power, they give you the control.
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  And also I feel like, and this is the thing right here and this
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  is going deep into my mind right here.
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  Like if you need me, if you need this confession, if you need me
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  to say this or say that, then I don't think you're going to
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  leave me anywhere because this is something you require.
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  So I would rather just be silent, get mad as hell at you,
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  scream and yell at you. Just divert away, divert
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  attention away from the situation or get up and leave.
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  I'm going to pack myself and leave.
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  So you don't mean you won't be me, be with me anymore.
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  I'm leaving there. I'm leaving.
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  If this is going to be the end of it, let's be the end of it.
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  Let's let's, let's, let's end this right now.
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  And now you're begging this, pleading for me not to leave.
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  No, no. I just want you to admit to it.
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  I ain't admitting to nothing. You really going to take me as
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  is or you ain't going to get nothing from me.
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  Gotcha gotcha. Gone get you You're gotten.
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  So that's why I tell people in these situations you don't need
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  a confession bully. What if I no, no, no, you What
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  if I you keep saying what if I what if I I I Willie, I just
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  want to work through things. I just want to talk about it.
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  They don't want to talk about it.
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  They automatically feel like if I look, if we don't talk about
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  it, then it's automatically worked through, right?
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  Black and white thinking. If we don't talk about it, if we
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  don't discuss it, if we don't mention it, then it's already
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  worked through, right? Because nobody is talking.
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  We're not talking, we're not talking about it.
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  We're not discussing it at all. So is it not, is it not
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  automatically worked through? Is it not automatically settled?
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  Is it not? Is that not how it works here?
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  Because that's how it seems like it works.
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  That's how it seems. That's what it looks like.
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  So this is something that you have to work on for yourself in
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  this space to understand what you're going to understand what
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  you're experiencing. Because if you have proof,
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  irresputable, irresputable proof, indisputable,
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  irrefutable, like it's, it's rocks.
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  It's a rock, Howard. It's, it's the the tightest
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  evidence you ever. Police beg for this type of
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  evidence. Close, open and shut case.
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  It's so open and shut. It just opens very slightly and
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  slams shut. As I was just telling you, you
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  have the you have the power. Don't give them the power in
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  this situation to just withhold this, this, this apology or
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  withhold this confession that you don't need.
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  You don't need the confession because in my mind, also in my
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  mind, another reason that I won't admit to doing that type
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  of stuff to you. I think you're going to record
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  me and I think you, I think you're recording me because I
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  will be recording you. I think you're recording me to
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  set me up and I think that you're going to try to expose
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  me. So hell no, I'm definitely not
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  going to say nothing now, because in my mind, if you're
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  going to expose me, if you're going to expose what I'm saying,
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  expose what I'm doing, or record me, then hell, I definitely
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  ain't saying nothing. I play, I keep things close to
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  the cuff. I ain't saying nothing.
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  Why would I do that? Why would I give you the power?
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  So that's the mindset of a narcissistic person right here.
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  Why don't they just admit to being wrong?
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  Why do I need to ask yourself before you go go here and beg a
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  narcissist for confession or beg them to validate you or beg them
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  to just make things right or talk about it, Ask yourself this
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  question right here. I want you to ask yourself this
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  question. How does this benefit the
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  narcissist? Put yourself in the shoes of the
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  narcissist. Put yourself in a big, the big
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  clown shoes, the size 17 Krusty the clown shoes.
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  Put your feet in there, wooble your toes around you got enough,
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  You got enough room to wooble your toes around it in those
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  clown shoes And ask yourself, like, how did this benefit me?
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  And there you now you, you're in the shoes of the you're in the
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  shoes of the narcissist. So ask yourself, how did this
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  benefit me as the Bobo the clown with these big ass shoes on?
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  Because that's the question that most narcissists ask themselves.
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  Not maybe not out loud, but there there, this is the
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  question that they're working themselves through.
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  How does this benefit me? They are asking themselves that
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  question directly in order to try to manipulate people in
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  order to try to get past people and get older people.
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  So this is something you absolutely need to consider
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  before you, like I say, go, go gallivanting around begging them
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  for a confession that you do not need.
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  You want it. You do not need.
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  Ask yourself your wants and needs.
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  You know, because you, you a lot of times in these situations,
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  you're going to have to get to be with a narcissist or be in a
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  relation with one. You're going to have to get and
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  sometimes even to leave one. You're going to have to get rid
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  of a lot of your wants and start focusing on your needs.
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  You don't need an apology. You need a place to live.
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  You want an apology. You need to know you need them
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  to admit it. No, you don't.
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  You want them to admit it. You don't need to.
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  But anyways, y'all thank y'all for tuning into another episode.
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  Y'all know I'm truly appreciative of y'all being
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  here. Hit that subscribe button if you
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  haven't and I will see you on the next video.
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  Mental illness is out. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
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  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
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  to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:21
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.