Latest / What's Up Fool? Podcast / Xavier and Butch - Ep 590

Transcript

Xavier and Butch - Ep 590 · What's Up Fool? Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Don't try to run, don't try to hide You'll steal
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: your time without thinking twice Stop the party, hide your
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: shit Believe.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: This is the hell to do Whoa!
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: Go!
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: Go!
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Come on, dog. I got to touch that afterwards. I
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: did that to my girl one time where she's like,
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: do you have the lighter? I'm like, yeah, it's right here.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: What's up, Food Podcast? Welcome, everybody, to the What's Up
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: Food Podcast. We have Bush Escobar filling in the big
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: shoes that were left behind by Rizzo.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I don't have any pictures, though, bro, that you guys
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: could roast. Well, maybe I.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Do, but... Bush Elementary School. We have Xavier right here, man. Comedian. Hey,
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: what's up? Irregular at the comedy store. Yeah.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: But you know what else? He's our, he's, dude, he's
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: our engineer. He works on the History for Fools. He's my,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: he's my fucking, my homie on that thing. I mean,
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: obviously you are too, but I mean like, I feel
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: like I have an audience like with you. Like I'm
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: able to like, it helps me to talk to you
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: when we're doing the podcast. Yeah.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: What's up, boo? Xavier here, comedian from, are you from Hesperia?
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: I'm from Victorville.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: Victorville, shout out, man. Can't so drive back tonight.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: All the way up to 15, bro.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Damn, how far is Victorville from here?
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Probably like an hour.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: If you left right now.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: If I left right now?
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: Three o'clock.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Probably like two hours.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: You get to five, huh?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Fucking tomorrow, dog.
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: All you have to do to look forward, bro, is Bakers.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Do you love Bakers?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Can you take public transportation to Victorville?
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: You have to take three hours. Damn. And then he
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: could take it, but he cannot stay this late out here.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: That's me. That's me right now.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: He would have to interview him at 11 a.m.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I can make it back by
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: my turkey.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: There's a couple of buses that are not going to
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: run going that way. I used to work with an
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: Asian lady at Dodger Stadium, and she was from Hesperia, dog.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Fuck, dude.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: And she'd drive all the way, and she'd go drive
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: that far to work at Dodger Stadium.
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: Four hours of work.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: You have to want to work at Dodger Stadium, because
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you can get a job at CVS in Hesperia.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: It won't pay as good as Dodger Stadium.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Really? Did Dodger Stadium really pay well?
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: It's a union job, so every year we got a raise.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Get the fuck out of here.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: And we had a meal ticket every game, bro. And
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: every year, the meal ticket value went up, too. So sometimes,
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: this is one of our, we're all entitled to two
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: breaks during our shift. And I would get my meal ticket, dog.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: And it doesn't even matter because I ate for free
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: where I was at. I would eat two Dodger dogs.
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: Regardless.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: I would eat two Dodger dogs with nachos, extra cheese,
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: and a big Coke.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, hell yeah.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Every day.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: How'd you get that hookup?
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Every day.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: How'd you get that hookup?
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: Because I had the meal ticket.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: But you didn't have the homie hookup, though.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: No, just regular.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, you made it sound like I ate for free
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: no matter what.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: So you worked at Dodger Stadium.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: I worked at Dodger Stadium, but I could eat that
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: anytime I want.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: Man, those people that used to eat Yoshinoya, because I
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: worked at Yoshinoya, and they used to make a big-ass
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: bowl with just Yoshinoya beef and nacho cheese on top.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: That's the shit, dude.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, bro. We invented the Yoshinoya cheesesteak sandwich. Damn.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: I was going to say, I don't even know if
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: those ingredients existed there.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: Think about how gross that is because the whole meat
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: is stewed.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's right.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: So it comes off stewy and rubbery.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: But did you guys have a griddle where you could
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: fry it up on?
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: We fried it up.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. Yeah, I was going to say. I
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: would have brought in a saucepan, dude.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: I would get some of that beef and nobody looking
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: and fry it up. And they put some nacho cheese
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: on it, bro. Oh.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Where'd you get the nacho cheese from, though?
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: We sold nachos, too.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Yoshinoya sells nachos?
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, a little stand there. It was Yoshinoya. Okay. And
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: then the other part was all the Dodger stuff.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, because it's at the stadium. So it's like an airport.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: We're like.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: Because at the airport.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Like a kiosk of all this stuff.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Well, like some of those franchises where you'll have like
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: McDonald's next to Burger King. That dude, the dude who
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: owns those franchises, owns both of those together.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: So what happened was... Me and Ivan Cuellar, shout out
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: to Big Ivan, bro. He's Gabriel Gletz's assistant. Him and I,
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: we used to stand side by side cooking Yoshinoya chicken, bro.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: Just chicken. And right next door to us was this
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: crazy motherfucker that used to cook hot dogs all day long.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: Hot dogs all day long.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: So that Yoshinoya job is union, right?
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Everything in that stand is union.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: So you're working for Dodgers. You're not necessarily working for Yoshinoya, right?
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: No, we're working for a company called, I don't know
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: the name of the company, but it doesn't matter because
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: it could be Marriott, and they're going to abide to
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: the union rules.
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay. I get it. Yeah, that's right.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: Okay. Even if they low bid and try to get
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: that concession stand contract, our pay stays the same.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: I was making, dude, like in 1980, 1990s. Before I quit, 2003. 2005,
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: I was working there in 2005, bro. And I was
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: making $ 80 a game.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Damn, that's pretty good for 1985, bro.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: $ 80 a game.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: That's like $ 150 a day right now, right?
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: $ 80 a game. That's what I would imagine. Yeah, that's
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: really good. Everybody else was making $ 50, their base pay.
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: Because everybody else chose not to work at Yoshinoya, and
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: Yoshinoya paid the most. So what's up? Who are you from, puto?
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: I'm from Victorville. I feel like driving from Dodger Stadium
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: to Victorville sounds fucking awful, bro. You know, they caught
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: whoever fucking killed Tupac, right? Yeah. That's how they tricked
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: all of them. They were just like, oh, you got
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: to go to court in Victorville. And they're just like, ah, whatever.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: And then they take him into Victorville, and they're like, no, actually,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: we're going to take you to Vegas.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. So it's super close to Vegas then?
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like that's how everybody knows it.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: So basically they got him close to the border and
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: then they snatched him up. Yeah. Damn.
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: So that's how they got all the suspects?
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Have you guys seen any of the case?
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: It's just a bunch of old gangsters. They're in their
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: 50s now?
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: And then they're just like, I don't even gangbang anymore.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: And I don't even want to snitch on you, but.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: They got your ass, man.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: We did that video at that one house over on
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: the south side. Was it Victorville that you said all
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: those homies were from? Remember we were talking to that
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: big group of cholos?
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: We're right.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: When we did that video with Sindog.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: Oh, no, they were from different places.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right.
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: Some of them were from Lancaster.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: But a couple of them were from Victorville, I think.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: I think so, yeah.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, bro.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a wild place.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: It's in the desert.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: In the desert.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: What's it like growing up in the desert, bro? Because
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: it's like hot every fucking day.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: Oh, is there another gang back? Do I know there's
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: a guy over there? Is Mount Vernon near there?
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: Mount Vernon? There's a cholo over there, man. His chihuahua
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: is a sureño. Oh, really? Yeah.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: That's the guy you showed me. Yes, bro. You've showed
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: me that guy. And like, yeah, that's right, dude.
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: What's it do in Hesperia, bro, growing up? I know
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: it's hot over there, right?
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's really, it's really, really hot.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: It felt like it was like stuck in the, in
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: the like, we were always like a little bit behind.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: Like we had the skating ring. I remember the skating
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: ring was big. I know that we had like, Is
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: anybody in the chat from Victorville? Am I forgetting some bullshit?
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: Everybody just kind of just, like, drinks and drives.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: A lot of drinks and drives.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Is there, like, there's no big city to go to?
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: The closest thing to go to is probably, like, Ontario.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Get the fuck out of here.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I got nervous. The first time I ever did
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: Ontario improv, I was, like, nervous. I was like, oh, shit. Oh,
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be in the big city.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: Ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be in the big city tonight, dog.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: When I was a kid, they used to make us
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: dress up. You're like, put a good shirt on. We're
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: going to the Ontario Mills.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: We're going to Ontario, bitch.
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: Oh, shit. Go fuck around, man. Put on a lift, too.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: We're going to Buc-ee's.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like if they're going to open a
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Buc-ee's anywhere in California, it'll be near Ontario.
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: It will not be in Compton.
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: Fuck, no.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: It would not be unsupported, that's for sure.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Bucky's pretty much said, though, we're not fucking with any
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: liberal states, just so you guys know.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: We don't need you. Get out of here.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like, way to better. I could bridge the gap
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: for that beef jerky.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: It's all right, man. Just have it at the border
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: of California. next to something that you want to be
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: putted at. You know what? I have a good idea, Bucky.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: Why not? There's a place called the State Line in Nevada, California,
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: which is the border of Nevada and California.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: And there's a place called the Prima Donna. Prima Donna.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: And something real tragic happened there back in the day.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: We're going to get into that on this podcast. Okay. Anyways,
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: I say you put a Bucky's in there. It could
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: be the first Bucky or the roller coaster.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Are you talking about the one on the way to Vegas?
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: And then it's abandoned now, right? It has a monorail
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: on it and shit. Oh, is that amazing?
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: And a mountain.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: I'm stopping there because we're driving to Vegas. I'm going
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: to drive to Vegas for our next upcoming Vegas show.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: And I'm planning on stopping there and making a video.
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: Just make it right there at the state line.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: That place is fucking rad.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: It's still a conservative state right in Nevada. Everybody in
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: California can enjoy it. And that place needs a gas
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: station that truck drivers can't use anyways.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Bro, if that— Honestly, right? Yeah, absolutely.
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: You don't even know— nothing against truck drivers, but you could
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: just— Fuel up and barstow it.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing, man. Because the reason why I
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: want to go there. Yeah, exactly. The reason why I
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: want to go there is because I watch YouTube, all
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: these little mini docs and stuff. And this guy talked
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: about how you... Because I remember visiting there when it
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: was busy. And now it's almost completely abandoned. And it's
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: its own city. It's not even a rest stop. It's
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: its own city.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: What if?
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Where that state line places you're talking about.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: It's its own town. If I was that town, I
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: would reach out to Bucky's and be like, yo. Because
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: if Buc-ee's would make that place, everybody would stop there, bro.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck who you are.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: What is even at a Buc-ee's?
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, Buc-ee's.
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: It's only for cars. If you're like a guy with
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: a 52 trailer, you're not allowed in. And they have
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: the cleaning restrooms.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Clean restrooms.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: No truck drivers.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Is it no truck drivers, really? No truck drivers. It's
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: all motorists.
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: All motorists.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Get the fuck out of here. I didn't even notice that.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: You're right.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: Look at that. That's what I'm saying, bro. Be perfect
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: at the state line.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, look at how big that thing is, okay?
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: How perfect would it be at the state line?
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: It would be fucking insanely, bro. First of all, their
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: food is quality. I don't give a fuck what it is.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I watched all the shit that's going on with Bucky's
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: right now, and I'm against all of it. But I
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: also can't fight the fact that they have, bro, they
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: have a deli counter. They have a deli counter that's
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: filled from one end to the other. Like, imagine you
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: go into this beautiful deli. It's just beef jerky. It's
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: just fucking beef jerky. It's a big deli counter. And
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: then they got one, like, yeah, that's the nut station.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: The brisket is, I can't stop talking about Buc-ee's, bro.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: That's how much it means to me.
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: You were left behind at a truck stop when you
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: were little, huh?
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: I probably was. I love truck stops just to begin with,
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: but the Buc-ee's is, bro.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: What'd you lose your weight, by the way, people?
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I have been, thank you. Nice. Yeah, I mean, ever
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: since the car, I've lost the car. I've been walking
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: everywhere and taking my scooter.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: I'm in good shape now, bro.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: I'm ready. You don't rent this scooter. You bought your own.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I bought my own. I got it for free.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, you have the scooter hooked up?
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: So there's a way to get shit free every once
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: in a while on Amazon, and that's how I got
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: my scooter.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: Hey, man. Have you ever stopped at a regular non-bucky
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: truck stop that Pilots... Pilot J. They cast checks.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Pilot. What's the other one? FJ Flyer or whatever
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: it's called. Flying J. Flying J. That's one, yeah. And Pilot,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Flying J.
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: Makes you glad you know how to read, eh? I
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: swear to God, dog. You just thank God you didn't
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: need to buy that ethnic person beat or that piece
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: of stick. To check the tires.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: It's that tiny metal bat.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: That tiny metal bat. But that bat is a weapon, bro.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: You don't need that anymore.
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: You get two of those, you make some mean nunchucks.
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: I've done it before.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Hey, bro, this is how you know why people are
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: still in charge of this country. Because you don't need
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: that bat. There's so many things that you can buy.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: You do not need that bat. Bro, for a buck,
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: you can get a tire pressure gauge. To fucking check
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: your tires, bro. There's no need for that bat other
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: than to knock someone around with it.
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: You know, they don't care about you, bro. At the
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: gas station, it's like... They're not even trying to invite
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: people to take a shower there. No! They don't even
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: provide sandals.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: It's gotta be gross, dude. It's gotta be... It's like jail.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: It's gotta be like jail. I've never showered in one
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: of those places, but whenever I hear like, Number five,
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: your shower's ready. Number five, your shower's ready. I'm like, bro,
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: that sucks, dude.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: I couldn't even get that job. I remember living in
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: Victor Rock. Trying to save up some money.
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: Your house was next to a pilot gas station? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Was it a pilot? I would see if I lived
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: near a gas station, I'd eat at that. I'd be
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: so unhealthy. I'd eat at that thing every fucking day, bro.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, I know. I live next to a Walmart
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: that had McDonald's in it.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: And I just fucked up my childhood.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know me and McDonald's.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's so good.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Dude.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: And, like, Bucky doesn't have lot lizards.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: No, because there's no truckers to pick them up. I
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: didn't know that it was no trucks, dude.
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: No trucks.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Good for them. That's kind of cool. Buc-ee's, I'm on
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: the fence with you.
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: They sue anybody that tries to take their logo, bro.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Not even that.
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: Even if you have buck teeth, they try to tell
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: you to saw them off.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Bro, I saw the John Oliver thing.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: They give you an overbite so you can shave it off, bro.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: You look too much like Buc-ee's.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: They're suing individuals and shit, bro. Who has big teeth
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: that we know, dude? I'm trying to think of somebody
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: that we know that I can be like, yeah, Bucky's
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: trying to sue them.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: Toby Hicks, no.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: There he is.
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: Take it down, buddy.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Even when he's not here.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: He's in litigation right now.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Even when he's not here, we still manage to bring
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: this up, bro.
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: I love this.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Look at that. Rommel, I need that printed out and
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: framed and put on my wall, dog. Because this will
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: take me out of depression at any moment.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: He works at Bunkin' Not at Shockey's.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: Bucky sued him for this picture. Look at those teeth.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: You can't even pixelate those teeth, bro. They're perfect. My God.
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: Like the guy said in Chappelle's, he has those baby
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: dolphin teeth.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Bro, look at how much pain that smile is hiding.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: You think there's pain?
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: You think there's pain behind those lesbian eyes?
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know. He's always such a good vibe, dude.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: He's thinking about his future right here, that cool gig
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: he has opening up in Visalia.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude. You know the story of this one? No,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: where did he get that? Bro, so the first time
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: he ever talked about this picture, he said that he
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: went out there to host a quinceanera, that a fan
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: hit him up and was like, hey, man, this is
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: like a quinceanera. It was like a quinceanera dress forum
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: or something, like a convention. We want you to host it, bro.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: It's going to be cameras and stuff. And then after
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: he did his first little bit, they were like, hey, man,
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: I think– I think we're going to go different directions
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: with this, so it's probably best you go home. And
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: they sent him home, dude, but right after they took
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: that picture of him.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: A microphone not even plugged.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: In.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: You know what sucks, bro, is that the date?
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: The microphone was a toothbrush. It made it look like
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: a microphone.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Ah!
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Bro, the day... This is going to be one of
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: his funeral pictures, bro. The day he passes, this is
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: what's going to be playing on the marquee.
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: It's going to be glazed.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Rizzo is a nice boy. That's so funny, dude.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: My mom would love Rizzo.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: It's like selling life insurance, bro, for birthday parties in
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: the hood.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: What's that.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: What's that brand of like, it's like Amway, but they
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: sell it in the hood all the time. It's like
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: in Spanish. Yeah, never mind. The joke already passed.
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: October 8th, man. Write it down. October 8th. I'm going
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: to be at the Bellflower Stand-Up Comedy Club. I'll be
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: opening up for Saul Trujillo, and he'll be doing his
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: one-hour special directed by Lisa and produced by everybody in
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: his crew. Romel. Live taping, man. Felipe Esparza, Rezo, and
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: Saul Trujillo. Two shows, 7 and 10 p.m. Tickets are
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: going fast. October 8th, Bellflower Comedy Club.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's great, dude.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: So, man, how many podcasts have you produced in your
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: lifetime of being a stand-up comic? In Los Angeles. Or?
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: Quite a bit. Like, over five. I'm always working on
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: a bunch of shows. The first show I ever worked
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: on was called The Big Humble with Matt Lockwood.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, no shit.
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. I love Matt Lockwood. And then I did
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: This Bitch with Kim and Sarah.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Did you work with Pauly?
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: I worked with Pauly. Worked with Pauly Short. My ass.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: What was that like? Was it fun to work with him?
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: Were you working with Pauly on his documentary or some
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: other stuff?
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was working with him on a documentary. We
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: made a documentary about his life. When I first got it,
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: it was like a fake interview. He called me over
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: and he was like, okay, I want you to come
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: over to my house. And he had a setup kind
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: of like this.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: And he's like, I.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: Just want to see if you can turn everything on.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: We're not going to do anything. And I was like, okay.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: That's not a big deal. I can prove that I
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: can turn this on.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: I need you to prove to me that you can
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: do this.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: And then I turned everything on, and he was like, great.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: Ian Edwards is going to be here in 10 minutes.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: And then I had to shoot a sketch.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: Oh, really?
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: And then we just did a bunch of just crazy shit.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: And then I felt like it was just nonstop after
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: that for a year.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: So it was like he called you in to do
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: a test run, and then it was more like a
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: guerrilla surprise. You're going to work today.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: That's fucking kind of cool actually.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: That's how they hire that guy that makes the Chinese soup.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: When he first showed up with all his stuff to
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: make soup, Pauly asked him, I want you to turn
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: on the oven, bro.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: This really does happen a lot.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: It happens like quite often, really.
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: Pauly is also the king of getting people to do
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: stuff for him. Really? Yes. Like favors or people feel like, oh,
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: he's Pauly. But like, What is that one guy that
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: went out there to Florida to pick up that dog?
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm completely blanking on his name. He has a
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: little bit of a lisp, right?
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: He had a guy go pick up a dog.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: In glasses, too.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: He's a producer also, right?
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's doing comedy out there in New York right now.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: I'm so sad that I'm blanking on his name.
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: Ha, ha, ha.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: I didn't. This is fun that you have a soundboard.
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: I do like this.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad he doesn't have it on ours. So,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: what is he like, does he pay people when he
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: tries to get them to do stuff?
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Is that like, or is it like, spots?
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: Because I mean, here's the thing, bro, is I'm not,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, every comic will like, you know, when someone's like,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: famous or has any notoriety, he's like, hey, could you
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: pick me up from the airport or could you do this? Like,
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: You know, we, like, a lot of us will do it.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: What's up, fool?
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: So, like, I'm just wondering if he actually pays or
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: he's just like.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: At first, no. And then we grew more and more.
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: Of a relationship.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I've had to pick up that dog from the airport
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: so many times.
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: Hold on.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: Hold on. Lisa, leave me alone. Anyway, keep going.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God. He's also, man, like, he's done a
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: lot of stuff that you would have to hire somebody
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: to do. Like a casting director, for example.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: It's your fucking job to cast this movie, to find
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: the people to cast the movie.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: Nah.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: They call Pauly Shore, and then he fucking calls on
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: 15 of his friends, and they're all in the movie.
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: And those... The casting director's job for them.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: That's how I got on that movie, The Houseguest.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you were on The Houseguest.
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: He cast the whole movie, dog.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, really?
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he just calls in favors, bro. And then that's
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: what it was.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: Hey, bro, you want to be in a movie, bro?
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to lie, dude. Like, you know what
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: I mean? Like, I know how that works.
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: I want to be in that rotation. I know.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, bro. It's like, you know, there's
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: certain people that will ask me to do shit and
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck no. And then there's certain people that
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: would be like, yeah, I'll go do that.
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you pay me to go pick up
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: a dog all the way in Florida, I'll go do that.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: Definitely.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Regardless.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: I never had to go to Florida. I think mainly
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: mine would be like, Oh, I dropped Pauly off at
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: the airport over in Burbank. And then I'll be like
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: 10 minutes down the road. He'll be like, I forgot
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: to get the dog a ticket. You got to come
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: pick up this dog. Oh, no.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: Pauly will. Pauly's last text to you will be after
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: you don't respond to whatever he needs will be this one.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: Why do you hate me, bro?
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: No, no, no.
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: He won't say hate. He goes, you don't love me,
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: don't you?
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's, yeah, bro. Because that's, I mean, because you
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: could not respond to someone being like, you know what?
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: Fuck you, man.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: I'll get it myself.
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: He called out Lisa one time to cancel something.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: And I got it right.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Here. Oh, yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: It's like a recording.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: I thought you loved me, buddy.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: But it was funny, man, because he was castling something,
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: the podcast, and he said something about his arm hurts. Oh,
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: come on, man. People think that's funny. Just show up.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Wait, what?
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: People think that's funny. You showing up here with a
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: sore arm.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: Dude, that's fucking hilarious, dude. Holy shit. I love that.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: So where'd you start doing stand-up comedy?
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: It started up in San Francisco.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Over by me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: What year? 2016? Did me and you meet back then?
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Because I was in comedy back then. Back then, bro.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: It was a fun time to be in San Francisco comedy.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: A lot of you guys were already doing it.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: I was just starting.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: What made you go start over in San Francisco?
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: I did, like, an open mic drunk at my college,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: and then some people invited me over to the milk bar.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, were you at San Francisco State?
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Fuck yeah. What were you studying there?
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: Communications.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, so this was already your lineup anyway. You were
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: going to get into this, and then comedy just kind
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: of popped up on the radar.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. I used to engineer music.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: And you did the Milk Bar.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love the Milk Bar.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: The Milk Bar's dope, bro.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: That's where I met Saul Tria.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: It's on Haight Street. It's like a crazy bar.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: I couldn't go there, bro. I'm lacto-intolerant.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: I don't even think they have a fucking drop of
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: milk in there. But yeah, that's a dope. Did you
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: do it when it was outside or did you do
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: it before?
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: I did it before. It was Tony Sparks.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, that was like the very beginning, beginning of it.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: That was when it first started.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: That's dope. Shout out to Tony Sparks. Shout out.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: I love Tony Sparks.
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: He's always called me a school shooter.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: But be very kind after.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Dude, Tony.
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: Big Pico Rivera in the house, bro.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Tony used to, when he would bring you out, if
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: you were new or not, it didn't matter. He'd be like, now,
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: everybody on this show, we have what's called a lot
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: of love.
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: Oh, I remember a lot of love.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: And we're going to give this young man a lot
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: of love. And then he would make people repeat it
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: with him. And, bro, Tony would really get the crowd
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: for you. He would always really get the crowd for you.
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: The milk bar was always intimidating because it's just everybody
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: sitting at the bar and a bunch of empty chairs.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: And then you have to entice all the people in.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: So you did the brainwash, too, then. No, no.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: I think when I first moved there, it was the
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: end of the brainwash. And I was probably too scared
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: to do comedy. And then I finally did it.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Fuck yeah. When did you move here? I moved.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm originally from down here. And then I
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: moved after.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, for comedy. Sorry.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: Just a few years later, I moved down to Orange County.
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: Damn, bro. Can we both see your legs on the podcast?
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: Mine?
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: You have mannequin legs.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: I do. I have tiny, skinny legs.
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: I've always had skinny legs.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: I never knew that.
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, bro.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about? You make fun of me
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: every time.
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: I never noticed, bro.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: The whole reason why I wear pants now.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: You're like a stick man.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Why are you doing this to me, Roberto?
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: I didn't know that.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: Hide those things.
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: You're a little palito, bro.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: Your pants do go up, really.
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: Regardless.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: It's because I'm sitting, dude. Okay, you fucking guy.
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: It's the way you're sitting. Yeah.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: There we go.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Look at that.
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: Watch. Look at that.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: Now I'm a man.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: He legs look like that children's book I used to read.
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: My Monster. Look, My Monster.
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: Oh, you're talking about... What's that?
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: That famous book with the big fat monsters and the
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: skinny legs?
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: It's called Me and My Monster. It's a purple monster.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: When we were little kids, little childhood, it was my
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: monster in me. And it was a purple Gumby looking motherfucker.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: Do you remember Big Mix? The cereal Big Mix?
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: And they had like a guy on there. Their character
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: looked like the Tasmanian Devil a little bit.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Someone once told me that I had Big Mix's body.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Big Mix's body.
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: Tom Nix. What's up, fool? Don't forget October 8th, man.
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: Where are we going to be at? This week, where
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: are we at?
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Dude, we're in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: On Sunday.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. We're in Oklahoma City first. Thursday, Friday, Saturday,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: and then on Sunday, we're in Tulsa. So come check
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: us out. Dude, if you guys are a fan of
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: the History for Fools podcast, make sure to let me know.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Come and grab me and be like, I love your podcast.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: I usually have stickers for you guys.
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: You know what's crazy, man? Have you ever seen those...
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: One of those epic movies where the whole earth is
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: destroying itself at one time.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: I love those.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: Like 2012, right?
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: What's another one?
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Apocalypse.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: Apocalypse. Where everything is being destroyed. There's earthquakes. There's famine.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: There's violence.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, dude, there's this one movie that I just watched
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: called 2026.
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah?
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: No, that's not a movie. That's what's happening right now.
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: Because I always think, like, you know how people say, like... Like, okay, like,
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: people who say that....
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: Armageddon, sorry. Armageddon, yes.
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: Armageddon. That's a media one.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: I feel like we're living in Armageddon right now.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah. But people always think that when you watch one
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: of those movies, everything's happening all at once. Even the
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: movie Dante's Peak.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: Everything happens all at once.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: But I always feel like in real life, it ain't
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: going to happen all at once. You know, that's only
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: in the movies.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: Because they have an hour and a half or two hours. Right.
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: to fear the destruction of the earth.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah.
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: But I think everything kind of, and then the earth
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: was not built all at once either. It happened in layers.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: It happened in big time layers.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: Just like we spoke about it.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: We cover it all the.
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: Time on the History for Fools. That it took forever
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: to get to the loaf.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: Well, yes.
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: So that means that the destruction of the earth, it
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: ain't going to be one big destruction like we think.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: I think it's going to be in pieces like, okay, Nepal.
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: You know what happened in Nepal?
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: That's like one area.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: But we also just had Colombia as well.
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: Colombia earthquake, right?
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Fucking forever long earthquake that just happened.
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: They need a whole new load of prostitutes in Madrid.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: What kind of got shattered by Nepal was a huge
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: earthquake that hit the Philippines a few days before. And
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: then just lately after Nepal, the Grand Canyon. I don't
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: think that's part of it. The Grand Canyon got flooded and.
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: Four people died. There were hikers in there.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, bro. We were talking about that on the History
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: for Fools. I don't think people understand because you're watching.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: You go, how does it fill up so quick? So
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: imagine 100 feet of floodplain. with maybe 20 feet or
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: even less, 10 feet. For every 10 feet of trench,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: there's like 100 feet of land, basically, in this floodplain.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: I'm just making up numbers. But you can imagine how
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: much area collects water versus how much gets dumped into
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: those canyon ways. And so that shit fills up super quick.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: There's a video of people camping, and then two minutes later,
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: they're on their boats, and it's just like they're rising
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: up to the top. It's fucking crazy.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: I think it's because... I know that people worry about
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: climate change and all that. But they don't want to
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: admit that there's too many motherfuckers on this earth.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: There's... Yeah.
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: Like, when you were a kid... I don't remember having
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: seen this many people. And I was a little kid. Right.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: This many people on this earth.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: Or this much traffic growing up.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: There was traffic all the time, but not this much.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: No.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: Also, man, when I would travel... To the airport before 9-11,
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: I thought there were less people. Now it's packed.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: Now it's packed all the time.
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: They don't even let cars in and it's packed.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: I think there's something to what you're seeing.
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: I think what happened in Nepal, people don't want to
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: admit it, that all these Europeans that come from Europe
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: who come hiking under that mountain busted out those European farts. Like,
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: eating all those horrible farts from eating fish and horrible pork.
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: And people from Nepal, their farts are, like, clean farts.
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: Then you get people from all over the country, from
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: America and the worst farters of the earth. We're melting
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: ice caps everywhere we go.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah.
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So, like, you got to tell Europeans, man. Like,
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: there should be a sign right there, man. If you
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: had diarrhea in the last year, please don't climb the mountain.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Don't eat anything before you come here.
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: If you, like, have poutine before you left Canada, please
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: don't try to climb our mountain, man. We're trying to
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: keep our icebergs fresh.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: I just came from Bucky's.
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: You're telling me I can't.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, these people come from places where, like, processed.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: Food is king. You just come from Bucky's from eating
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: a roast beef sandwich with a candy cane?
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: You can't come in. Bro, these people come from processed
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: food land. And they're in this, like, country where, like,
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: it's third world. Food is organic as fuck because, I mean,
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: they can't process food there. Like, I'm sure. I think
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: about it. I've been watching Bangladesh videos like crazy lately
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: for some reason. And I'm like, you drink the water there,
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: you will die. If you're from America, you will fucking die.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: I'm almost certain of it, you know? And it's like
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: our stomachs will just explode, dude. I can't even. I
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: remember one time I went. Remember when I went to
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: fucking TJ last and I sent you that video of
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: me at Caesar's Hotel buying Caesar salad?
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: I got sick from that. My stomach was like, for
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: three days I was fucked up.
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: That's a risk, Colonel. That's okay, bro. You came home
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: with a cold sore on your eyeball.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: Do you ever go to TJ?
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's where my mom's from.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, really?
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: Are both your parents Mexican?
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: Both my parents are Mexican.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: No shit. Did you learn to speak Spanish or no?
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: No, no.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: You're like me then.
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, you sound like me. I'm from the Bay.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude.
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: So you're from Tijuana, huh?
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: And your dad's two apart.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: My dad, I think, is from, like, Mexicali. And then
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: he was always just working on the grapevine as a kid.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: So he was always, like, from, like, down there. Like
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: a migrant farm worker?
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: No shit. He was working the fields then. Yeah, yeah.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: So he was a campesino.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: No shit.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: And then I think that's why. I think my last
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: name is, like, made up.
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: What's your last name?
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: Campos.
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: What's your social security?
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: I can't get that.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: And your credit card number.
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: What's your mom's surname?
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: Wait a minute. So your parents, when they, are you
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: the first born or are you like the baby?
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: I'm the baby.
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: I'm the third born. No.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Fuck no. Why do you speak such good English? Because
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: I'm imagining your parents.
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: They speak to you, huh?
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. Because like almost everybody who has Spanish
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: speaking parents kind of has an accent themselves, even if
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: they're born here. Yeah. Like most of my friends whose
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: parents were first generation or who were Mexico came over
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: here and they're the first generation. They have a bit
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: of an accent.
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: So you grew up where?
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: In Victorville. In Victorville.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: You're not from the Bay.
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: Not from the Bay.
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: Do you think you have lived in Los Angeles more
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: now than you have lived in anywhere else yet?
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: Officially, we're in September now, so yeah. I've lived in LA.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: I got a family. I don't know that I can
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: claim the Dodgers yet. I still like the Giants.
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: Whoa. Yeah.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Holy shit. Oh, my God, bro.
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: He buzzed me.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: I hope you stick around. I hope you stick around.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: I will say the first few years that I lived here, though,
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: the Dodgers have been winning fucking everything.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: So it's very enticing. I'm just like, I'm going to
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: have to do good luck.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: No, don't do it, dude.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: Don't do it.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Don't do it.
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: This comedian named Eric Lujan met you in Santa Barbara.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, hell yeah. Oh, Eric is so funny.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: Lujan, no!
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: Santa Barbara was funny.
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: When did you decide to pursue a stand-up career?
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: A lot of the basic stories. Just would get drunk
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: a lot. Went through a breakup. Smoking weed. Smoking weed.
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: I was always very opinionated, and I remember a comic
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: at my school, he would, like, sneak into the mic
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: and do, like, I think it was supposed to only
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: be students, but, like, comics would come.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: No way. Treat it like an open mic.
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: And then he was like, oh, you know, you should
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: just go do that. And then I got invited to
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: the Milkshake. bar, and then all the people at Hello
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: Funny would start putting me on shows.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, fuck yeah. No shit.
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: How long were you in the Bay?
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: I was there for like a couple of years.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Look, he's going
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: for it. I gotta have another word. How long were
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: you in the area that has the largest... I don't
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: even know how to say it without... Yeah, but.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: A lot of really good people, like Steve Fury, Andrew Rolfo,
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: Iron 2.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I love those peeps, dude. So you were there when, like,
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: Steve Fury was still over here then, too, then.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Was he here now?
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: He was, like, starting to go down. I remember it being, like,
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: a big deal. It was like, I think Steve Fury's
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: going to go to the Comedy Store. You're like, oh, shit.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember that, dude. Because, well, to us, he
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: was from Sacramento.
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Right?
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. He's just one of the guys. And I
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: met Saul. Saul was living out of his car at
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: the time.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: That's right, dude.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: What kind of car was it, bro?
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: Not a big one.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: I always wonder about that.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: I think it was like a Corolla.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: I had such a hard time with him before I
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: moved here because I couldn't get any fucking advice from him.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: I wonder how he hid in that car, bro. Like,
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: what the hell? That's what I'm... Like a guitar. That's
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: what I'm.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Trying to figure out. Like, how did you sleep? Because, like,
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: every time I would go to him for advice, I
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: was one of my really close friends.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: But when I first tried to move here... He was
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: bigger then. Every time I tried to talk about moving here,
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: he'd be like, I don't know, bro. I slept in
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: my own car. So I don't know how that is.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know what rent's like. I'm like, just give
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: me something, dog. Because I think to him, he was like,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: because I was like, I need a place with air conditioner,
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: air conditioning. And he was like, I slept in my car,
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: you piece of shit.
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: He was bigger then, though.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: He was huge. That's the thing, bro. I can't sleep
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: in a car like that every day. Could you?
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: Where do you park it at?
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you could park anywhere in this city. No
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: one's going to give a fuck, bro.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: We may stress.
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: No.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: Well, because that's like, I'm stressed. It makes me stressed
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: to think about it, dude. Because it's like, he did
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: it for like a year and a half. Or something
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: like that.
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: How do you meet a lady, though?
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: He already had her.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: He already had her.
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: I thought you were getting a parking ticket or something.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: Bro, these girls are crazy, dude. Like, I don't know.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: Even my girl, I'm like, I'm a.
• 41:50
  Speaker 4: Sir, you told your car. I think I'm in love. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Regardless. Maybe she was the nurse when he got tetanus.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: I don't know, right?
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: She was his girlfriend when he was homeless.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they were hardcore boyfriend and girlfriend. They were already
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: committed to each other. Because she was still living in
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: the Bay.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, he was over here.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: In Northern California, and he was here. Because that was
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: the other thing, too. Because I was really worried about
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: that when I first moved here, because I have a girlfriend.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: And I was like, how did it work out? He
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: was like, we'd see each other every few months. That's crazy.
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: Bro, did you hear about the butt sniffer? Yeah.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: Who is this?
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: This guy was walking up to women in Glendale and
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: sniffing their butts.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Was he touching them?
• 42:46
  Speaker 4: No, just sniffing it. Oh, whoa.
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: That feels like it's right on the line. Do you
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: think that's illegal?
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: It is right on. That's why I'm like, I'm not
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: saying it's right. Oh, my God. Look at those ears. Bro,
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: those are fucking Shrek ears, dude.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: He was trying to smile them, bro, not hear them.
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: So give him a break.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: There's something. Bro, obviously there's something wrong with this gentleman.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: Look, man, not everybody looks good, bro. Some people look
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: like broken kettles.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Wouldn't you say there's something maybe developmentally wrong with him?
• 43:17
  Speaker 4: This guy could also lie and say he used to
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: play for the 49ers, too.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: There's that guy. There's that guy that was doing that, too.
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: Oh, well.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dog, there you go.
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: Look, look, look.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: Get a little whim. Take that home. Keep it in
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: the spank bank.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: I thought he was, like, zipping a chair.
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: If you were to smell your butt, dog, what would
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: you do?
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, thank you.
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: I would grab his head, bro, and then get a
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: good sniff.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: I'd be flattered.
• 43:45
  Speaker 4: I would sell him my underwear, bro. Listen, bro, you
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: need to cut this out, bro. Take my underwear, bro,
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: and go in the bus. Look at it.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: Bam.
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: Hit it and quit it. Yeah.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: Saving that for the spank bank later, bro.
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: See, man, he missed his calling, bro. He wanted to
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: be an ass doctor.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: Proctologist.
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: Fucking Toby Higgs. They got him, bro.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: That last video. That last video, bro, of him. Yeah,
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: go back. Not the one where the girl's facing the camera. Oh,
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: my God. That looks like it's set up, dude.
• 44:19
  Speaker 4: You got tongue and strata too, bro.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: And that one does. That looks like Toby Hicks right there, bro.
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: I am very.
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: Butt sniffer. He's just sniffing butts.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: Bro, would you be mad? Would you really be? I
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: don't know, man.
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: I'm not a woman.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: Is that PK?
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: They get accosted way more than men.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: If you're with your girl and then that guy sniffs
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: her butt. I'd be mad that I have to figure
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: out what to do in this situation.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Comedically, I'd be like, yeah, I feel you. Seriously, I'd
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: be like, hey, bro.
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: Man, butt sniffer, bro.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: I get it.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: I love it, too. But you can't be doing that
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: to her. Yeah, look at him, bro.
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: That's at the library, huh?
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, this girl was filming herself when he went to
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: sniff her butt. Oh, wow. And she ratted him out.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: She ratted him out. You can deal with a person
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: and be like, hey, man, did you just sniff my butt?
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: A 39-year-old was arrested for violating his parole. Crowder, a
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: registered sex offender, was arrested last summer while out on parole.
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: For a similar incident.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: Fucking butt sniffer, bro. Exactly! How can you not send
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: someone right behind your legs or butt, bro? Like, I noticed.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: That's the thing. As soon as someone gets behind me.
• 45:40
  Speaker 4: I would just hang out at a footlocker, bro. Wait
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: for somebody to try on shoes and then pretend I
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: passed out. A good five smells.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: I'll pass out right there.
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: Or I'll just have a heart attack under one of
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: those benches that look like a grill. They're like green.
• 46:02
  Speaker 4: They're like plastic grill.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the little, like, yeah, yeah.
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: I just pass on and dig.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: Like you just sit up underneath it?
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: And then hold on to the gate like I'm falling
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: up and just do a good sniff-a-roonie.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, man.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: I'm just trying to pull myself together.
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: One year at Skank Fest, we were selling sniffs of
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: Kim Congdon's slippers. She was wearing a slipper all day,
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: and we're like, $ 1 sniff, $ 5 for a deep one.
• 46:29
  Speaker 4: That's gross.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: And a lot of people were paying $ 5. It was crazy, dude.
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: That's nasty, dog.
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: We're like, $ 1 sniff, $ 5 for a deep one.
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: You want to be asked back?
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: Fire this guy, bro. You're not even working for us
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: next Tuesday.
• 46:43
  Speaker 4: Come on, you didn't charge. You scraped her heel. And
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: get that little dust off. And put on a little cracker.
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: We're going to ask in the chat.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: Get out of my head! Get out of my fucking head!
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: What were they, Sally?
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: To sniff her slipper.
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: Slipper?
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: That's so gross.
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: How many days did she wear it?
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: I think there was her home slipper, and then she
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: wore it all day. She flew in it, and then
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: we had to go straight to the show.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, fuck, bro! What the fuck, dog?
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: And dudes paid for that!
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, so many.
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: One guy gave us, I think, $ 100 and just kept
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: coming throughout the night. Just looking, sniffing, sniffing.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: That's so fucking disgusting, bro. That is so, like, I,
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: feet is so one of the grossest.
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: How about, how about you, like, they have to pay you, bro,
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: to hold Bird Crusher's foot, the one that's totally.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, nothing, nothing. You can't pay me.
• 47:49
  Speaker 4: Just put barbecue sauce on it, bro. Play with his feet.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Uh, What are you doing right now, bro? What are
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: you trying to do? You're a fucking agent of chaos sometimes,
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: I swear.
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: What else did they have with a skank fest?
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: That's so gross. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, that's so fucking gross, dude.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. Skank fest is always, like, a
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: lot of fun. You guys went to the New Orleans one.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: We went to the New Orleans one.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: That sounded insane. That seemed like the fucking giant.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: I partied way too fucking hard.
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: I heard that you fucking woke up in some stranger's house.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: I want to, I want to know what this is.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: Okay. No, I drank like with a bunch of people
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: from like, I met all these people that were from
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: a hotel. It was like a bunch of like, uh,
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: people that worked at the international hotel down the street.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: So it was like a bunch of dudes and ladies
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: that were from different countries. And, and apparently this bar
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: is where they go to hang out every night. It's
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: where all the people that from the like, uh, hospitality
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: industry come in and I drank too much and, They
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: were like, hey, we're going to go back to the
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: house and blah, blah. And I did. And I passed
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: out on the couch.
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: And I guess.
• 49:02
  Speaker 5: I don't even.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: Bro, I woke up. It was one of those dope
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: fucking houses, like Frida Kahlo's house, that had the middle
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: part open. It's like a New Orleans style. Where there's
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: a little plaza in the middle. And so I slept
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: out near one of those. And I just woke up.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: and was like oh shit dude I don't even know
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: where the fuck I'm at right now and then just
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: like just bucked out.
• 49:26
  Speaker 6: Where were you where were you at during this I
• 49:29
  Speaker 6: was over there hearing conspiracy theories from Doug Stanhope yeah
• 49:36
  Speaker 6: not a bad.
• 49:37
  Speaker 4: Corner to be in nah not at all dude He
• 49:39
  Speaker 4: has this woman that works for him that does all
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: his media stuff, and she's good friends with a guy
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: that used to work for the FBI, and they know
• 49:50
  Speaker 4: each other, so they share a lot of information about
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: old cases and photos and espionage and all kinds of stuff.
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, really?
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: So we're listening to that stuff. Yeah.
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: What's up, Fuso? What happened, bro?
• 50:02
  Speaker 4: You were in love back in the day? You said
• 50:04
  Speaker 4: you had a breakup? Oh, yeah, yeah. Did y'all do stand-up?
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Had a breakup. You had a girlfriend? At one point.
• 50:11
  Speaker 4: What time?
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: Probably when I was like, at that point.
• 50:15
  Speaker 4: How many years?
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: In San Francisco?
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: Right before I moved to San Francisco.
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: Is that when? I'm from the Bay. Why'd you guys
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: broke up?
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: Mainly probably because I was moving. I think it just
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: got really tense.
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: No, fuck no.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: They were going to stay in Victorville.
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: So you had a girlfriend for how many years?
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: I think that was like a year and a half.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: No, fuck no. Was that the love of your life?
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: No, probably not.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: Did you have the love of your life already or no?
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: Is there a girl that you pine for still? Or
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: that you're like, man, I'm sad that we could have
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: been something? No.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: Okay. But I don't know.
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: No.
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: Growing up in Victorville is different. Everybody's really young.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: The chicks are slow out there. They're a little slower
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: than normal.
• 51:10
  Speaker 4: Everybody wants to move to the big city of Riverside.
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: Oh, man. I probably ought to wear a full tuxedo.
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: The big city.
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: How did you guys break up?
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: Just me moving. me moving away. I remember, uh, It
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: was like a real ugly... We were living together.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: You were living together.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 51:35
  Speaker 4: Whoa.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: That's hard, bro. I didn't... That's a fucked up breakup, dude.
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: You have to split the items.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: You have to... It's like pulling apart like... I always
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: like think of like roots that are tied together and
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: you have to slowly like... Yeah, it got... Because it's
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: crazy when you're living with someone.
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: It got petty, bro. I remember she took all... There
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: was someone in a podcast. Someone in a chat wanted
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: more saxophone.
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: That's just for you. They didn't even tip.
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: It's for you, man.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: Wait, so it got petty? It wasn't like, hey, you're moving.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: You're going to college. We should probably split up.
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: It was petty and fucking weird.
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. I remember she took all the soap out
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: of the house, and she was like, I bought this
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: fucking soap.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: Fucking bitch, dude.
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: That's petty, bro. Fuck you, bitch.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: Fuck you.
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: He told her.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: Regardless. That's how you.
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: Regardless.
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: That's how you go to jail. That's how motherfuckers be
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: going to jail, though. Like, this bitch took my soap.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: You took my soap, bitch. That was my fucking soap.
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: So you left her over there. What did you do afterwards?
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: You know what?
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: I think maybe she's still out there.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: You don't even talk to her? No, I don't talk
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: to her. Yeah. That's probably for good reason, bro.
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: Damn.
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: And then, yeah.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: Was she slow?
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: No, she's cool.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: Okay. All right. You had your opportunity, my friend.
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: Did she have handjob skills? She was like typing?
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: That's why we got together.
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: Did you like push her away? I'll do it myself.
• 53:12
  Speaker 4: Or did you let her take off? Let her take off.
• 53:16
  Speaker 4: And look at her and go, you're a journeyman.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: Go on, get. Just get out of here. Nobody wants
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: to be with you anymore.
• 53:26
  Speaker 4: She spit in her hand. And I said, whoa, this
• 53:29
  Speaker 4: girl has brothers.
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: What does that mean?
• 53:35
  Speaker 4: Because I never.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: That is. That's no joke, bro. That's some old school.
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: Shit right there, bro. Yeah, she's like. Deal. She's spitting
• 53:43
  Speaker 4: her hat out.
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: You're not trying to open no jar here.
• 53:47
  Speaker 5: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 53:50
  Speaker 4: We're just trying to have a little coitus.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: You start up zipping.
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: Hey, we're just trying to have a little coitus here,
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: and you're over there trying to open up a fucking
• 54:00
  Speaker 4: Best Foods mayonnaise jar that's been in the fucking shed
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: for two years.
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to help you with the classical jar.
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: What was her name? Is she out there?
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's out there.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: Does she know that you do comedy now?
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: I have no idea.
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: Damn.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: I have no idea.
• 54:17
  Speaker 4: He's like, whatever now.
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: Did you?
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: Not even siblings, no contact, huh? That's a weird breakup.
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: Was that your last girlfriend?
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: No, no. My last girlfriend, she actually used to book
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: the comedy club across from the ha-ha.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: Book comedy clubs across from the ha-ha?
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: I don't know, but when we had Jack Jr. 's...
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: He told me that Senior Jack, the owner of the
• 54:48
  Speaker 4: Ha Ha, he went over there and talked to the
• 54:51
  Speaker 4: owner and said, buddy, if you wanted a comment, the
• 54:53
  Speaker 4: owner sold you mine.
• 55:02
  Speaker 5: The poor Ha Ha.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: Not even the fucking owner likes it.
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: Shout out to Jack, man, from the Ha Ha.
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: Fuck yeah, bro. I like the ha-ha. Everybody always shits
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: on the ha-ha.
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: That's funny.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: Jack Jr.
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: Said that his dad went over there and asked a buddy,
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: if you wanted a comedy for that, I would have
• 55:20
  Speaker 4: sold you mine.
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: That's fucking hilarious.
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: Welcome to the neighborhood.
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: We didn't have to do all this, bro.
• 55:36
  Speaker 4: Don't hire my old way staff.
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: What club is that? I didn't even notice a club
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: across the street. I've only done the Ha Ha once
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: and I'm not familiar with L.A.
• 55:45
  Speaker 4: At all.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: But she was the booker for the Ha Ha.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, for like a little bit.
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: Do you get comeuppance for that? Are you like, yeah.
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm not going to lie. I tried to.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: I went to the audition and I heard that she
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: was booking it. And then I showed up to the
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: audition night and then. She just showed me where the
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: green room was and then told me to leave.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, really? She's like, I can't fuck with you. Were
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: you guys already broken up by then? Yeah, yeah.
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: But me and her are still friends. Her name's Andrea.
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: Ken Flores performed there a lot before he passed away.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was one of Ken's places, right?
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ken is so fucking funny, dude. I
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: used to have to help out... For, uh, JFL would
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: help film sets for, like, submissions. Okay. And then, uh,
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: Ken Flores had, like, such a shitty night. Like, such a,
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: like a, like a night where, like, everyone's, like, just bombing.
• 56:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: People get, like, nervous in front of industry. And then
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: he just went up and, like, reset the rule.
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: Because he didn't give a fuck. Yeah. Because he didn't
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: give a fuck, bro. He wasn't there to be a comic, bro. Like,
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: that's the, that was the genius of Ken to me, was, like,
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: he did, that's how he was. He was, you could tell, like,
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: he's a naturally funny person.
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Just went up and, like, crushed for ten minutes. Yeah.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: That's amazing, dude. I would love to have seen that. Ken,
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: to me, still is an anomaly. Whenever anybody talks about Ken,
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: it's like, I don't think you understand. I'm not even
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: near as funny. I can't even touch how funny Ken is.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: And Ken didn't work on it. He was just that funny,
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: it seemed like, right off the bat. He made it
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: seem so natural.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had to cut so many clips, and then
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: he was one of those guys that was putting out
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: a million.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I bet, dude.
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: It was hard not to know who that guy was.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet. So that was your last relationship.
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: That was my last relationship, and then before that, I
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: dated a TikToker.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: How the fuck?
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: Jewel of the Clock.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: Was she a famous TikToker?
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: Pretty famous TikToker.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: No shit.
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: Look at you, bro.
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: Look at me.
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: Look at me.
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: My God, dude.
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: I just have regular girlfriends.
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: A couple of my girlfriends have owned a cell phone.
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: I just have regular girlfriends, dude.
• 57:41
  Speaker 4: What did they use you for? Huh? I don't know.
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: I think they thought I was using them.
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: You probably were, you piece of shit.
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: Maybe I was.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have.
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: You produce podcasts? Let's fuck.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: My girlfriend works with plants. That's the best I could get.
• 57:58
  Speaker 4: That's good.
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: I can't get booked at a florist.
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: She's a succubant.
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: She's a succubant.
• 58:10
  Speaker 4: Succulents.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude. She's great at plants. I mean, I've learned
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: a lot, but she don't book shows. Yeah. And do TikToks.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: Was she a sexy TikToker? No, comedy TikToker. Comedy TikToker.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: Was she a stand-up then?
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: No, no, she's twin sisters with a pretty known stand-up though.
• 58:37
  Speaker 4: Maybe they switched and they both don't like you.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: Dude, you guys do the homework and then throw her
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: name in the chat. Do the homework, you guys. What TikToker,
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: what famous TikToker has a twin sister that's a stand-up comedian?
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: And they both dated him and they both decided they
• 58:53
  Speaker 4: don't like him.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, my friend, dude. I'm going to give you a
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: big hug after this. How long has it been since
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: you've been without, you know, A girlfriend, then. A while, bro.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: Are you ready for another girlfriend, or are you kind
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: of like, fuck relationships?
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: No, right now I'm just doing... now I'm just doing work, bro.
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: Every time I feel like I pursue a woman, I
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: feel like everything else just starts to crumble. And then
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: now I just.
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: You lose your focus.
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: I lose my focus.
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: I understand that 100%. Like, if my girl wasn't down
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: with what I did, it would fuck me up. Yeah. Yeah.
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: that's why they hate me this is why they hate
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: me bro this is why they're like he laughs too
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: much yeah we added it people are like you did
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: butch fakes his laugh and i'm like maybe i'm just
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: fucking high.
• 59:45
  Speaker 4: All the time.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know how many comics have had their sweaty
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: head in this thing Should I.
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: Keep the habit?
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: I knew I should have showered after the podcast.
• 59:59
  Speaker 4: That's Dolly Parton's wig, bro, the one you have on.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: Is it?
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: R.I.P. R.I.P.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 4: Dolly Parton.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: I was like a ponytail.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: I trip all those people, bro, and every time a
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: celebrity dies, and we get to hear from one of
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 4: our celebrity friends.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: Bro, that's the best one.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 4: Or some comic that we know that, oh, I grew
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 4: up on Dolly Parton. Really, motherfucker?
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: The only person that I'm validating the real sadness of
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: Dolly Parton is fucking Hater Tuesday. And Lisa. Oh, yeah,
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: and Lisa. Everybody else, I'm like, all of a sudden
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: you're a fucking Dolly Parton fan? Like, what the fuck
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: happened here? You know? But I don't know if you
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: know Lydia. Do you remember Lydia Popovich?
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 4: Who do I look?
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: No, I don't think so.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: Dude, biggest Dolly Parton.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: Bro, you look like one of those kids in that
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: movie for the Italian gang. What was it?
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 4: We're just hanging out and doing the podcast.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 5: I live longly, longly, long. Life goes longly, longly, long.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 4: We're just doing the podcast with Bush Escobar.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 5: We do it longly, longly, long.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 4: I feel like Joaquin Bieber, bro. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 4: You're like a madman laughing with that fucking wig on.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 4: It looks good on you, bro. You're like, what's his name?
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: He looked like an extra on Bill and Ted's.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 4: Robert Downey Jr.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Oh, man. Whoever gets to wear this
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: wig next is going to.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, are you sweating?
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sweating in this thing, dude. These things are
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: not made for people like me.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 4: I look like a guy that used to live in Hesperia, huh? Yeah.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 4: And then it had to be a thug.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: Bro, you look like a European thug, dude. You need
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: a sweatsuit, and you need to offer me some drugs
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: that I got to go around the corner to score.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 4: I look like a guy about to set up a
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 4: big hashish deal in Sweden.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: What's those gangs that we just did History for Fools
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: on from Italy? From Naples?
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 4: The Naples.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: The what?
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 4: The Gamora. The Gamora.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: You look like that movie we watched, bro. You look
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: like you could be in that. Like they didn't cast
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: it right. What the fuck is that, dude?
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: With the poncho, it's like.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, hell yeah.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: In honor of Burning Man, all the burners out there.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 4: Put it on.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. For everybody else listening to this, Felipe
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: has the craziest wig on. We'll catch you guys at
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: the mic.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: There we go, bro.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, bro. I'm very uncomfortable with this, dude. I don't
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: know why.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 4: I'll join your army. I'll join your army if you
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 4: guarantee me.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: You look like a soccer mom, bro.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 4: I'll join your army if you guarantee me that we're
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 4: going to kill a British.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: Felipe looks like my abuela.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 5: Bro, what happened to your abuela?
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 4: Keep guitar. I'm recovering from lupus, bro. I look like
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: Elton Juan. I don't know why with this wig, I
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: feel like with this wig, I feel like Bucky will
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: try to sue me too, bro.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: Bro, you look like you're going to pit pocket me
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: in fucking Paris, dude.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: Where do you want to go, buddy? I look like, bro,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: like I'm a Ukrainian guy trying to hide in Van Nuys.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: Hey, bro.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: Dude, that's hilarious. That wig is fucking classic.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 4: What's up, fool? You got shows coming up, bro?
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: What do you got coming up? What are you working
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: on right now? What shows are you working on? Besides
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: History for Fools.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: Besides History for Fools, we do a Tonight Show with
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: our comedy store tonight with Argus Hamilton.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 4: He was on Misty Shore's Wheel, huh?
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Argus Hamilton. There's a funny story that he
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: was in... Mitzi's, like, last will or her last wishes.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: He's the house comic. He always opens up the main
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: room every weekend. So if you guys ever go to
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 3: the Comedy Store, you guys can catch him. Or we
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: started doing a Tonight Show where it's, like, he does basically, like,
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: a podcast with a few guests, and then he gives
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: people a few chances to do stand-up, and he sits
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: them down on the couch. We had our first one
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: last night.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: Who's your favorite person that you've produced for besides us?
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: Besides... Shout out to Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee gave me, like,
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: a crazy opportunity. I fucked it up.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: What did you do? Oh.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 4: No, not really.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: Please talk about it.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: No, no, no. I did, like, bad friends for, like,
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: a day.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 4: It was fun.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, really?
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: No shit? Yeah. Can I see that? Can I.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 4: Can I look.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 5: You fucking dick. Oh, no.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: I'll go get it.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 5: He's got another one.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: What a fucking dick.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: He has another one in there. Can I see that
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: one too now?
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 5: Well, you didn't see this, bro. Look at the box.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that box.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 4: No, the paper.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: Let me see. Oh, my God, bro.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 3: Who the fuck.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: Made that, dude?
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 5: They did.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's hilarious, bro. Someone lost their substitute teacher. Oh,
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: my God.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 4: Last seen, bro, wearing a Lamb of God t-shirt.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: You guys see that? Last seen on a school bus
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: wearing a Lamb of God t-shirt.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 4: So you came out here to do stand-up comedy?
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 4: And are you a regular at the comedy store? How
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 4: did you get into the comedy store? What made you
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 4: go there?
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 3: I started producing out of the basement. They started like
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: a podcast studio.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: Oh, shit.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 4: I've never been there. With Rick Ingram.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. I did that podcast for a little bit.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 3: And then what's it called? Rick and Eleanor. So funny.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: So funny. And then I got Kim and Sarah's show
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: down there. And then at the same time, that was
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: when I was living with Pauly. So I was living
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: at the Pink House. And then I would just walk down.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: Hey, you lived with Pauly above the Comedy Store.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: In that big mansion that's above the Comedy Store.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, the pink one.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: And it's got a basement all the way at the bottom, right?
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: And that used to be the old Comedy Condo.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 4: And the door's unlocked because I've been there.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: So my ex-girlfriend's uncle is a guy named Josh Abraham
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: who was a record producer who bought that house from
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: Mitzi before Pauly bought it back. And I've stayed in
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: that house before.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 4: That's tight.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy?
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so fun. Yeah, I still live at the
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: little bottom apartment.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: I don't worry.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 4: So you live with Pauly?
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: I live with Pauly.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 4: He's sick. What's that like when you get up in
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 4: the middle of the night crying or screaming?
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: Not in the middle of the night.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: He wakes up really early, though.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: Does he fuck with you, too?
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 4: Wake up, bro. We've got to start our day, bro.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 4: We've got to eat spaghetti.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: Wake up, buddy.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: He's like all business.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 4: You better make tuna sandwiches.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: He's all business.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: All business.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: I feel like the weird stuff is kind of like
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: the act for the people to have fun.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: But when it's just you and him, it's all biz.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 3: It gets kind of intense. Then I go, oh, I
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: see how you kept us going for so long.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, dude.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 4: He had the old car he was driving back then
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 4: when you were living together, right?
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 3: The Roadrunner, the green one.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a badass car.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 4: So those shots of him cruising, those were your shots?
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 4: When he was filming, those were good shots. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 4: Because he was getting the city.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 4: And then messing with people.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 3: I do love messing with people in paulie's car the
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 3: the rule always is what you're you drive around he
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: drives around with like the top down and he goes
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: if i honk we both have to wave it doesn't
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: work if we both don't.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: Oh shit that's hilarious dude yeah he So he would
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: do shit like that.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: What does a Roadrunner look like? I don't even know
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: what that looks like.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: Like a gremlin?
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 4: The Roadrunner and Wauwee Coyote.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 4: Beep, beep.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: Right, but.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 4: It looks like a Charger, but the cheap version of
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 4: a Charger.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: I'm going to look it up real quick.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 4: Look it up, Roadrunner.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Roadrunner car.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 4: What year, 1989? Something like that. There it is.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it looks like that, but it's green.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, those are like AMCs. Those are like AMXs. That's
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: an AMC car, right? What car made the Roadrunner?
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 4: Pythons used to put a big old hanger on top
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 4: of the hood to make it aerodynamic.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: Plymouth made the Roadrunner. Not AMCs. Those are supposed to
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: look like AMXs back in the day. Oh, that's fucking dope, dude.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: Those look like Chargers kind of, don't they? and how
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: looks like a Dodge Charger yeah exactly yeah that's what
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: I was saying holy shit that's cool I didn't I
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: never even I mean I've probably seen him but I
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 2: didn't know that there was a car called the Roadrunner
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: oh beep beep.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 4: And it would draw the Roadrunner on the car.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: Have you seen that that new movie Coyote vs. Acme
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: where freedom is history.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 4: That movie.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: Coyote vs. Acme. I think it's a movie about the roadrunner,
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, the coyote from Roadrunner suing Acme for all the, like,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: faulty equipment that he's bought over the years. It looks
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: really good, though.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, hell yeah.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 4: So when you were living with Polly's show, you would
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 4: wake up in the morning and start filming, huh?
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be like, come downstairs, like, bang on the
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: door at, like, 7 in the morning. Then we'd go
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: get coffee. And then he gave me, like, a big
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: list of stuff to do. And then I'd walk back.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: And then he'd go to, like, the gym or I'd
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 3: have to go, like, shoot, like, something for the day.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: And then I'd just come back. And then we were
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: making a doc, so I'd just be, like, digging through, like,
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 3: archive footages of, like.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 4: His life.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, how was that? That must have been cool, though.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, weird, bro. Like, there's, like, so much stuff. And then, like,
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: it's fun to see, like... Like, him walking around the
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: comedy store in, like, the 80s and the 90s.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: As, like, a kid, bro. Yeah. Like, a kid. Straight
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: up a kid.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: Young Dice, young Kenniston, all these people.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: That's crazy, dude.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 4: Did you ever feel like, like, this is a waste
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 4: of time hanging out with this guy? Like, I want
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 4: to start my comedy.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 3: Sometimes, because, like, he'll be like, oh, after... If you
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 3: do this for me, you know, we could... I'm trying to...
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: Don't look at me, Will. Don't make eye contact with me.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Will. Keep going.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 3: All the time.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 5: Stop looking.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 4: So at any time that you thought, like, man, this
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 4: guy trying to have sex with me.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, did he try to make a move on you?
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: Did he play grab ass?
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 3: No, no, he never tried to make a move on me.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 4: What he's going through, it seems like a lot of
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 4: comics went through that with another comic, whether it's an
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 4: older comic, you know, some older comic that feels like,
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 4: I already made it, so I've got to help out
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 4: the young comics somehow.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: Well, Khabisi used to do that, but he didn't have
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: as much money as Pauly, as much fame. But I
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: remember Khabisi would get people to drive him around, pick
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: him up, pick up his mail. Did you ever know
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: Kabir Singh? Yeah. Yeah, he used to do that shit
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: with everybody, bro. It was in the Bay, but he
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: did a lot when he moved out this way, too.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: And he would just find comics to do everything for him.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: I would see someone at the fucking post office, and
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you doing here? And they're like,
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: I'm picking up mail for Kavisi. I can't work with you, bro.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 4: Did you ever have to work with Polly all day?
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 4: Look out at the window and still really go, fuck it,
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 4: what am I doing here?
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all the time.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 2: Did you live there for free?
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 3: I lived there for free.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 2: But you had to do all that shit.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 3: We would work 12-hour days.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 4: So you wore a mask all day.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 3: Wore a mask all day.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: She wore like a leather DB mask. A BD mask
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: or whatever. Did you feel that like? You have to
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: wear this bondage mask, buddy.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 4: The other comrades are not going to respect me because
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 4: they know I work over here.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: Not at first. And then, I don't know. I don't
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: think anybody really cared. I think people, after they saw
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 3: me there all the time, like, they were just like.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: People would do talk.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: It's crazy.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: They'll just be like, oh, yeah. You know, he's just
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: up there helping them out. Right.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 4: But.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: It would get, like, crazy. Sometimes I would just, like,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: I would hide out and fucking stress smoke cigarettes in
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 3: the comedy store.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, bro. Yeah, did you feel like you
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: had any time to yourself? Like, was there time to yourself,
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: or was it, like... No, no, not really. It was
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: pretty demanding.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but, I mean, it was also, like, a
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: lot of fun. It was probably, like, the funnest, like,
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 3: summer of my life, just, like, hanging out at the
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 3: comedy store like that.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: Just looking over, wondering what he's fishing for.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what the next mask is going to be. Is
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 3: this like a Power Ranger?
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: What the fuck is that, dog? That's scary almost, man.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 2: That's not even fun.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 4: You both have like hours of footage, right? Yeah. Did
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 4: you keep anything? Pee Wee Herman's hours of footage.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, like the Pee Wee Herman dogs?
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: Dude, look at that. Our guest even knows what to do.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 3: That was amazing. I got you guys.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: That was so fucking, dude, spot on. Wonderful.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 4: What do you think is your best joke you've ever written?
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 4: I don't know. Like a joke that you say, man,
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 4: this is the one that's going to remember me by
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 4: this joke.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 2: What's your closer about?
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 4: Like if somebody does this other joke, like a joke
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 4: that you know that's so good that if someone else
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 4: does it, they know this is... A Javier Campos specialty.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel like people always talk to
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 3: me after the show when I talk about getting a DUI.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 4: You got a DUI?
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 3: I got a DUI.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 4: You got a DUI.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 3: I got a DUI, bro.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 2: I don't even know you like that.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 3: I got a DUI the day everything shut down for COVID.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 3: Like at 2 a.m.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 5: That day.
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 3: I got a.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 4: DUI.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: COVID. Dude, COVID day? Day of COVID?
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 3: Day of COVID.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: That was the most terrifying day for me out of
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: all the COVID. Because no one knew where it was
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 2: coming from. There was all those rumors going around. I
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 2: couldn't even imagine being in jail.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: I kind of thought it didn't matter. I was like,
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 3: the world's about to end. This DUI doesn't.
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 2: Fuck it.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, really?
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: I used to say that, like, the whole world went
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 3: on house arrest with me, so I didn't feel like
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 3: I was, like, missing out on everything. And there was
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 3: a bunch of shit. Like, it was a crazy time. Like,
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 3: during COVID and then not having a car wasn't so bad,
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 3: but it was just, like, even the limited things you
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 3: could do.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, in L.A., it's a nightmare not having a car.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 2: If you're not me.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 4: Were you in L.A. in COVID or in the Bay?
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 2: I was in the Bay.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: It was fucking weird, bro, because all the ships that
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: got infected parked over, you know when you're coming over
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: to the bridge towards Oakland? Yeah. And then there's the
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: cranes and shit on the right-hand side as you're coming
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 2: into Oakland. All the cruise ships had pulled in with
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 2: all the sick people were still on it. And they
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 2: had to stay on quarantine. I think they stayed there
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 2: for like another 90 days before they allowed them to leave.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 4: Just to go to court for that ticket during COVID? Yeah.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 4: On Zoom?
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 3: On Zoom.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: That was the first Zoom courts back then.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 2: That's when it started, like, the whole different world started
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: for us.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 4: Was the judge in her house, too, or just she
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 4: was in court?
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 3: The judge was in court. And then I remember talking shit,
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 3: just being like, or not.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 4: Imagine having a public defender either at home, man.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 2: Like the Howard Stern show? They're all at home.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 3: Everybody had good advice afterwards. I didn't realize that the
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 3: jails were so impacted.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 2: Big time.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 3: If I pled guilty, I think I would have just gotten.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 2: Would you plead? No contest?
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 2: You should have pled not guilty. Dude. I bet you
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: would have got... Because back then, bro, now we kind
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: of have a solid... protocol for how we deal with
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 2: Zoom court appearances and stuff. But back then, it was
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 2: too confusing. You probably could have gotten away with something.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: Goddamn, bro.
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 3: I didn't get away with anything during COVID. What a
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: time to be alive. Did you do the loan? Everybody
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 3: had the crazy loan.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 2: COVID was the best part of my life.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, see, I wasn't smart enough to do any of this.
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: Fucking crazy shit. COVID was the best, dude. I got
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 2: that $ 50, 000 loan. I went to Mexico. I came here.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 2: I did the show. I fucking partied my face off.
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 4: Rizzo got that outfit during COVID.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 4: It was fitting.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude. COVID was the best.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 4: Martin Rizzo was making more money off COVID than he'd
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 4: ever in his life. Because he was getting COVID money.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 4: He was getting the other money. And he qualified from
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 4: working with us to unemployment.
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I got unemployment. A buddy of mine,
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 2: do you remember Cheaper Than Therapy?
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 2: The guy who owned that had recorded my employment there
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: as a comic, and then I was able to report
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 2: that as my unemployment. I got Twitch money because I
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 2: was playing video games. I got the loan. It was
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: the best, bro. And then all of a sudden, two
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: Gs popped up on my EBT.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 4: Shout out to that girl at their Harley 9409. I
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 4: was working at a prison. Tell us, what was the
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 4: worst thing that you saw on the first day of
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 4: COVID during your prison work? You warden you?
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 4: Because that means they have to pass out masks and
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 4: everybody has to eat their food inside their little cells.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people had to be, yeah, that's crazy to me
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 2: because I was living my best life, bro. It was like,
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 2: Smoking weed, playing video games, and eating delivered food. I mean,
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: it couldn't have mattered being in prison.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 4: When I think about COVID, bro, I think about the
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 4: most dumbest thing I ever saw was that World Series
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 4: where they put all the fake heads. During the World Series,
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 4: the Dodgers won the World Series that year. Okay. But
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 4: then they had in the audience, when they were having
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 4: all the games in one section, they put like fake heads.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, really? No shit. Oh, like at movies.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 2: Like when you're doing like, I remember I did Flubber.
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 2: And we did like, in the basketball game, we had
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: all the, like that shit, dude. All the people in
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 2: the stands. Because that's what they do for movies.
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 4: Did you do stand-up comedy in a place like that
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 4: during COVID?
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 3: Zoom? Yeah, yeah. I did Zoom. I did, like, the
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 3: shows for the cars. Did you guys do the shows
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 3: for the cars?
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Well, one of the first times I started
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 2: working with him was in El Paso, and we did, like,
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 2: a huge show. That was a drive-up show.
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 4: Some lady got mad at me at that show, or
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 4: some man got mad. He personally sent me an email.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 4: He said, because the ambulance passed by, and I said,
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 4: when you hear that noise, that means a cholo got
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 4: his wings.
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 2: How are you going to get mad at that?
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 4: Because maybe he didn't get wings. You have shows coming up?
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 3: No, no, no shows coming up.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 4: What's the craziest thing you've ever saw at the comedy store, bro,
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 4: where you said, damn, this is crazy?
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 3: I saw the Olsen twins smoking cigarettes in the belly
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: room when Bob Saget died.
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 2: No shit.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 3: I snuck into the Bob Saget Memorial. Oh, wow.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, the Olsen twins were there. That's right.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 2: Holy shit.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know what the fuck I was doing in there.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 4: Shout out to Bruce Gray.
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 3: This was only a few years ago.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 2: They're older than you.
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 2: I was going to say, they're older than you. Because
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 2: there were babies when I was a little kid.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, dude. They were smoking cigarettes, those fucking billionaires?
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 3: They're just crying and chain-smoking cigarettes, and then everybody's just
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 3: telling stories about Bob Saget.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 2: Wow, dude. That's crazy, man. When I worked at the improv,
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 2: there was a lot of stuff like that.
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 4: You saw Keanu Reeves, right?
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 2: I wasn't there for Keanu Reeves, but John... God, what's
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 2: his name, bro? Because I'll even say it publicly because
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: people don't believe this. But there's two employees that work
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 2: at the improv the longest. And that's Antonio, who's the.
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 4: Antonio, yes.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: And then shout out to Antonio. And then there's another
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 2: guy named John, and he does food running too, but
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 2: he just shuffles around. He's kind of slow. Everybody's like,
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 2: how come this guy's still working here? Because he's so
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 2: fucking slow, but he's been there forever, so they love him.
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 2: And he's actually a really sweet dude. I love that guy.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 2: But he told me, I was like, what's the craziest
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 2: thing you've ever seen since you've been, because he's been
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: at the improv, like Bud Friedman basically hired him. That's
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 2: how long he's been there. And he was like, Keanu
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 2: Reeves once got kicked out for smoking crack.
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, I always thought this was like a made-up thing.
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 2: No, and then he said that Keanu went out. And
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: it wasn't like Keanu was a crackhead. He just was...
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 2: watching the show Smoke and Crack.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 4: It's all made up.
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: They kicked him out. I know everybody thinks this is
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 2: a made up story, but it's not me. This is someone,
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 2: and it could be made up. It still comes from
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: another source. It doesn't come from me. But he said
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 2: that Keanu Reeves then went, but this sounds like Keanu Reeves.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 2: He went out and sat on the curb and continued
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 2: to smoke crack, and then people sat next to him
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 2: and smoked crack with him. People were like, all right,
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 4: Sounds like John Wick, not Keanu Reeves.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 2: Allegedly. Allegedly. Yes, this is alleged. Regardless.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 4: Sorry.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, you're right, Lisa. Lisa's like, allegedly. Yeah, it was alleged.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: This is an alleged incident. This is secondhand information I
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 2: got from somebody else. Bro. Isaac made that song.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 3: Instagram, yeah.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 2: I'll never forget you for that.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 3: I'm Xavier Campos.
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 4: So what's the longest podcast you've been working on?
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 3: The longest podcast I worked on was probably This Bitch
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 3: with Kim and Sarah.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 4: How long did that go?
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 3: We did that one for like five years. My ass.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 3: And then I did, oh, yeah, oh, here's my page.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 3: I did, oh, yeah, I did Jet Fuel. I helped
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 3: start Jet Fuel.
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, that's what I was thinking. How fun was
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 2: that working with her?
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 3: I love Jet Ski.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 2: I love that. I love Jet Ski, dude. She's so rad.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 3: Oh, look, there goes Kim and Sarah. And then, yeah, dude,
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't put a bunch of stuff
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 3: on there. I got to start posting more clips or something.
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you got to be on it, bro.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you got to get back on it.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 4: Got to be on it, eh? So you shot a film?
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 3: Right there, the green-looking one, I shot a short film
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 3: with Saul Trujillo.
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 4: That's the one where what's-her-name plays Llorona?
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Gabby Lamb.
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, Gabby's in this? That's great. We love Gabby.
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 3: Shout-out to Gabby.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 2: Shout-out to Gabby Lamb, dude.
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 4: We have a trailer of it somewhere. We can play
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 4: it real fast.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 2: Lookit, that's Gabby right there. Go back. Look at Gabby, dude.
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 4: She looks the same.
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 2: When did you guys start putting makeup on? Was this pre-camera?
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: You guys shot it in how many days? We shot
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 2: it in two days.
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 3: Fourth watch.
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 5: Is that out now?
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 4: Can I look it up and watch it? No.
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 3: No no here I'll send you.
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 2: Guys send it to Romel yeah that looks actually interesting
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that that I think you showed me
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 2: this when you guys were doing it but I didn't
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 2: know if it was released or.
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 3: Not Romel I have your number right.
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 4: It's a short film the trailer probably is the movie I.
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 2: Was gonna say how long is how long is the.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 3: 10 minutes it's 10 minutes.
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 2: Wild, bro.
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 4: Oh, the budget.
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 3: A budget? I don't even know. Salvo paid for it.
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 2: Salvo paid for the whole thing.
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. So I called him every favor.
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 2: He works so hard. Salvo works so hard.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude. He's insane. I was kind of like, it
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 3: was a trip how it all came together. We were
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 3: at the comedy store. We were smoking weed in the back.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 3: And then he was just like, oh, yeah, this guy
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 3: dropped out. He's supposed to direct this short film. And
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 3: then I was just like, I'll do it.
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 2: Sounds like a job for Xavier.
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, dude, yeah. I called in a bunch of people
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 3: from the comedy store there. There's a show there that's
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 3: called The Players, and they do a show that's sponsored
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 3: by Atlas Lens Co. So it has all these expensive lenses.
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 3: So that's how I helped Sal.
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, fuck. Okay. That was a real project then. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wow. We had like $ 50, 000 worth of lenses. And
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 3: then just for free.
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 2: That's great.
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 3: Here, I'm going to show you a part that you
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 3: can go to that's actually kind of good. Go to
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 3: like five minutes and 40 seconds.
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 4: That's the end of the movie, Doug. Spoiler alert.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 2: Gabby Satan.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude. And then with Gabby, I remember she... thought
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 3: she was playing Sal's sister or something.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, she didn't know she was going to be dressed
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 2: up in makeup.
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 2: Bro, that makeup is really good.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 2: And is that coming out of her mouth or is
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 2: that a pipe next to her?
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. We lined up like a hose and then
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 3: the special effects lady– had an old fire extinguisher, and
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 3: then she was just spitting it out. And we'd throw
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 3: up all over Jeremiah.
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 3: That's what I sent Romell right now.
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's good, man.
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 2: That looks great, dude.
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 4: Looked like my brother Angel.
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 2: Who's that guy right there?
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 3: That's Nick Aragon. It's the guy that wrote it, too.
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 2: He wrote the sketch?
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 2: Wow, dude. Yeah, if anybody doesn't know, that's Gabby Lamb
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 2: on the right, and she goes on the road with
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 2: Felipe a lot as well. And a lot of times
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 2: me and her have been on the road together. She's
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 2: one of my really good friends.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 3: I sent you a link. You should be able to
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 3: just play it off the link, no? It's going to
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 3: be on there.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 4: Oh, shit. All right, man. Go look for it, guys.
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, go check it out. What's it called again? Fourth Watch.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 4: The Fourth Watch. Go check out the movie.
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah. What's up, fool?
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 4: Felipe Esparza right here, man. Bush Escobar, History for Fools.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 2: Can I plug real quick?
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 4: Go ahead, bro.
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 5: What you got to do?
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 2: You guys, this is really important to me. I'm only
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 2: going to give one date. I have a bunch of
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 2: dates this month, but I only want to give... Because
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 2: I want everybody to show up to this particular show.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be at the Laugh Factory in.
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 2: Long Beach on Wednesday the 30th. So show up for me.
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 4: September 30th?
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 2: Show those people at the Laugh Factory that they should
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 2: be booking me there.
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 4: Also, I'm going to be in Las Vegas.
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm going to be with you in Vegas.
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 4: September 12th and 11th. See you there.
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be with Felipe that day too.
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 4: Hell yeah. I'll be driving. And also see you at
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 4: the Raiders game. Hell yeah. What's up, fool? Thank you, everybody.
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 4: Thank you, Xavier. Thank you, Romero, Isaac, Lisa, everybody.
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 2: Thanks for having us on, bro.