Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Jeremy B. Hill- Leading Through Triumph and Challenges

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Jeremy B. Hill- Leading Through Triumph and Challenges · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Welcome to season six, and I could not be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes and conversations really unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: So let's sit back, relax and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Well, hey, everybody, it is Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: We're in season six and our guests continue to build.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: And this next gentleman our paths cross in the wide world of LinkedIn and I'm excited to learn more about him.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: He is the one, only that Jeremy B Hill is his name.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: He's the founder of JV Capital, an independent investment bank.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: I spent a ton of years in finance and investment banking world.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: He's been married for a long time.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: We'll ask about that in a second.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: He's done a lot of great things in his corporate career.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: I think if I have a home one trophy behind him, we're going to ask about that.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, that's not why we're having him on.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: We're having Jeremy B Hill on JB because we're going to learn about JB the dad and how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr Hill, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Mr Jaycox, thanks for having me.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: How are you?
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I'm doing good.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I'm doing good.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: So we always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Dude, I got three awesome kids.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I really do, and I know everybody says that.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Right, you know everybody's like oh, I got wonderful kids.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: The reality is, some of your kids are ugly, some of your kids.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Right, you know, let's come on.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: You know, some of you guys out there just kind of making shit up because you think you need to say something.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Nice, I'm not that.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I really do have three amazing kids and I'm probably most grateful for my three amazing kids have an amazing mom.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: That's something that I'm pretty thankful for.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Cool what I'm grateful for today.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I actually I've done a couple of podcasts today, but I'm going to give a similar answer because I'm grateful for time and I'm super, super, super present with the word time, Um, because every minute we either can do something with it or just, you know, do nothing with it and we're not guaranteed tomorrow.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: And so I'm like really grateful that my I wired my mindset to like, like for, I think, my joke before we started recording.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: I've taken my dog for three walks well, two walks today, my wife took him for one, and so it's like what if I get like, even if it's a 30 minute break, I can go 11 minutes out, 11 minutes back and still back for the next call and the dog's living her best life.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: And I'm just grateful for the state of where I'm at, after spending nearly 25 years in corporate, to like be able to be an entrepreneur doing something I never thought I'd be doing, but it is a full-on calling and I get free therapy from guys like you every time I interview a dad, and so we have a blank sheet of paper and I'm grateful that we're going to have probably a page or two pages of notes here in about an hour, so I'm grateful to spend some time with you.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Love it, looking forward to it.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, so bring us well, bring us inside the Hill Huddle first, but talk about how you and your wife met and talk a little bit about each child and what they're up to.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: So my wife and I met.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: So we have our 29th wedding anniversary coming up here in a couple of months.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: So we've been together a little bit better than 30 years almost 31 years we met.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I grew up in Texas, went to high school in Seattle, went back to Texas for university and then came back to Seattle.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I went somewhere between my junior and senior year of university to see my folks and see my friends and do all the stuff that you do as a stupid college kid in the summer.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Right, ended up taking a job at a restaurant over the summer, just 10 bar and wait tables and spend time and make some pocket money.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: And there was just this hot little thing running around, this thing, right, you know.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: And I was the new guy and you know, trying to get her attention, and she ignored me and just didn't give two.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: She didn't care two things about it.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: So I asked her out probably a dozen times and she would either not respond or laugh, which I'm not sure.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I'd rather.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Have somebody laugh or not respond, I'm not sure which one's better.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: But eventually she had a terrible lapse in judgment on her part and agreed to go out with me, and that was like 31 years ago, so it's pretty cool.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Wow and tell us about the family.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Family.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: We got three kids.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: So I have boy, girl, boy 24, 21, and 20.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: And again, awesome kids.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I mean I got great kids, I got a super hot wife, I got a cool dog, I've got first-class problems.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: My oldest son, joshua, is 24, just graduated business school down here in Arizona a little less than a year ago, is working in real estate, private equity and doing well and fighting the fight and trying to find his feet and see all the things that he grew up with, that and watching and doing and going and that kind of thing and seeing if he can kind of chart his own course, and so the conversations that he and I have on a daily and weekly basis about some RA that he's irritated with or an investor asking stupid questions or how do he all these kinds of things, that just, uh, uh, it brings a smile to my wife and I's eyes, that of watching him kind of figure out that recipe and turn the dials of the Rubik's cube and figure that shit out.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: So, uh, my daughter uh is uh getting ready to turn 21 and she is just, uh, just a breath of sunshine.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: You know, just one of the we used to joke when she was little.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: We used to call her Disney right, cause she's always happy, right, like I was, like my wife and I swore that one day she was going to come down the stairs and there'd be little bunnies and chickens and squirrels and shit.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Follow her downstairs like a Disney movie.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Right, she's just always happy and she always sees.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: She always sees the best in people and things and otherwise and it's just a wonderful spirit.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: So she's in her sophomore year of business school down here at Cary, at the business school at ASU, and doing well and you know, trying to figure out, you know what she wants to be when she grows up and takes over the world.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: My youngest son, tristan.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: He's six foot five, tall, good looking, really smart, good at every sport, personable, and if I went to high school with him I would hate him.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I just God this kid, right, but just a wonderful soul and a great kid.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: So he's 17.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: He's a junior at the high school here in Paradise Valley in Arizona and has got the world by the tail and figuring stuff out as a 17-year-old.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: It's pretty cool.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Is he still playing sports?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, he's a uh, he's an extraordinarily good soccer player, as is, uh, as was my, my older son.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: My younger son right now is on a little bit of a hiatus.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: He, um, he broke his neck about eight weeks ago and so was in the middle of a game and took a couple of goofy knocks and landed funny and then came out and then came back in and then took another couple of knocks and landed funny and was buzzing and not feeling good and all this kind of thing.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: And then the following day uh was screwing around with some friends and had a like another blow that may have been the you know the straw that broke the camel's back and so, uh, that next night we spent 18 hours in, uh, phoenix children's ICU and a bunch of ambulance rides and x-rays and MRIs and all that kind of thing, and so he's got a fractured C5 and C6 vertebrae, both of which are displaced, and so we've been in and out of Children's more than I care to be the last eight weeks.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: So he's not playing soccer right now.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: We go back to Children's next week, more x-rays and MRIs and all the stuff it is that you do going through just daddom, and hopefully, if we get cleared here, in the next kind of two or three or four weeks and can avoid surgery.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: he'll be back on the pitch in the next three months or something.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Wow, that must have been scary for mom and dad to deal with.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I mean the things I think as, as fathers, it is that you worry about most is it's never really yourself.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: The things that keep you up at night are are, you know, uh, typically fears.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: It is that you have for something either happening to your wife or your kids or your business or otherwise, all these things that are out of your control that you really can't do anything about.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: But you get these little gentle reminders or previews or pictures through life that remind you of the fragility of things, that life can change really quick.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: And as much as this is a inconvenience, really, right?
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: He's still walking and talking and walking around.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: You realize it is that things could have been much worse very easily.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: And so these are those times to sit pause, sit down, reflect, have some perspective and really be thankful.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Wow, I broke my foot in four spots.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Nothing like a neck at all, but I broke.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: That was a pretty significant injury that really shaped um, shaped me in life and people that know me in those story.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: I've shared it with a lot of times before, but it really it's top of my mind, cause I was.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I was a guest on someone else's podcast earlier today and we were talking about like things that shaped uh, um and I.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: I told a story and I just I always can't imagine like what my mom and dad like, because I was the kid that like, worked his ass off, squeezed every ounce of athletic ability, and then end up playing at school called central washington.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I played quarterback there back in the 90s and um was getting recruited by some bigger schools, but then this injury really impacted where I was going to go and so I ended up central thankfully gave me a shot, but just watch as a parent watching your kid like, like I grinded, um grinded, and then just to be able to see it like taken away.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: But then you don't realize at the time like what it was, like one of the best things that ever happened to me.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: It was a blessing and taught me about vulnerability, humility, goal setting, visualization, grit, resilience, like all things that anybody in life needs to have.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I just learned it at 17 versus.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: You know, I've learned along the way, but well, I'll be.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I'll be thinking positive thoughts and hopefully Tristan was back on the pitch per se and playing football, or whatever you guys call it Fingers crossed.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Hopefully we'll get some good news soon.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: That'd be awesome.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Well, I always like going back in time with my guests to learn about what was life like growing up for you.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: So talk about what was like that life brought for you and maybe some of the values that you learned as a kid that really shaped you now as a dad.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Sure, great question.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: You know, I think everybody's childhood is different, right, and you can allow it to either Well, let's say that better.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Well, let's say that better.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Everybody's childhood is different and it shapes you and kind of forms, either behaviors or patterns, or decision-making, or how it is that you look at the world, either from a positive or a negative landscape.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Right, people use it and say I grew up like this and I had such an amazing childhood I want to give that to my kids.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Or they grow up and say, hey, I had whatever type of childhood and I want to do the exact opposite of that.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Right, mine was maybe somewhere in between.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Right, like we certainly, you know, weren't a Norman Rockwell painting or a Hallmark, you know Hallmark movie or anything, maybe like one of those afterschool special kind of things with a little Hallmark thing thrown in, kind of a thing.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: So my parents got married young.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: They divorced when I was two.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I met my dad when I was 12.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: He died when I was 20.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: We moved all over the place as a kid.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: So mom was a single.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Mom had graduated university, got in the insurance business, worked for Aetna, and so I went to first grade at this school and second grade at this school and we went to third and fourth grade over here and went to fifth and sixth grade over here and like that was kind of growing up.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: And so when we ultimately moved to Seattle, so my mom got remarried as I was going into my freshman year of high school, which was just weird we moved to Seattle and being in high school in Seattle was the longest I had candidly ever been anywhere, and so you're the new kid on the block again, which you know some people would have hated that.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think I really liked that necessarily growing up.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: When I look at it now it is certainly a strength.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: You know you're jealous at the time when it is that you're the new kid on the block because everybody knows everybody and they all have their own you know secret handshake or stories to tell or whatever it is, and you're like I don't know anything and so but the strength and I don't know anything is that you can adapt better and it's better at making friends and you can look at and read situations and meet new people and get acquainted and do things candidly, light years ahead of anybody else.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: And so what I looked at or thought of as a um, something that I didn't necessarily like as a kid, has probably proven to be one of the the kind of the foundational characteristics and a big strength for me.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Now let me see Cool stuff.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: It is, I guess, growing up, you know, outside of the moving, you know I met lots of people, met lots of friends and you know all those kinds of things which was neat.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: But one of the kind of foundational things that was really good is my grandparents had a big hand in raising me and ultimately my mom decided to go back to university and go back to law school and wanted to become an attorney and studied here and studied overseas, and so for that three or four year period of time to where she was getting her JD and getting her feet wet and starting to practice, I lived with my grandparents full time.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: And so it was a different aspect because my grandparents had done okay, they weren't working anymore, they didn't have anything to do but hang out with me and I got a different kind of purview of life than some of my friends, like when I was a kid, like I grew up listening to, you know, dean Martin and Tony, you know, and Tony Bennett and Paul Anka and you know Sammy Davis Jr and the Rat Pack and this kind of thing and watching old shows, and that stuff was cool and my grandfather wore a suit and tie seven days a week.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: And so you know I was, you know like what was the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Well, it was Carlton.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I wasn't Carlton like a nerd, I was a cool Carlton, right.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: You know I'd wear a suit and stuff like that.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: I liked that kind of thing.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: But when I started dating my wife, the first time it is that we went out, I go and I pick her up and introduce myself to her parents and take her around and open the door for her and get in the car and we start to drive off and go and music's playing.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: She kind of looks over at me and she's like, well, what are we listening to?
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: And I was like this is Tony Bennett.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: She's like, oh okay, how old are you Right?
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Like she's like what?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: is going on here, right, and so it's just some interesting stories from growing up and getting a different perspective from kind of an older, cooler generation.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: It is that, I think, made a big impact on how it is that I look at the world and see things.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Who doesn't love little Tony Bennett at the holidays?
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: We have and I'll see if I can find them and send them to you.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I've taken my wife to Tony Bennett three or four times before he died and the first couple of times it is that we were there.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: We were in Seattle and we were I think the first time it is that we saw him was at Paramount in Seattle, which is just kind of that cool us like this, you know, like smiling, oh it's Tony Bennett, and everybody behind us is like a Metamucil, commercial right, like I mean, we're the youngest people there, like 30 or 40 years, you know, and so we'd seen him two or three times and I wanted to see him one more time before he died and my wife is like you're going alone, like I have.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I have definitely given my, like you know, wife supportive DLFC and Tony Bennett.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: So how?
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: um, so we have a few things in common.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: My parents got divorced when I was in college, so you look a little older than you.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: Um, my dad passed away too.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: My dad passed away December 29th 2021.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Um, like just a really tough journey of.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: He's the dad that, like, after the divorce, didn't quite bounce back on his feet.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: He battled with, let's see, dementia, alzheimer's, kidney issues, heart issues, alcoholism.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Um smoked for tons and it seemed like tons of years.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Um didn't exercise.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Um, so I've learned the things that I want to do that he didn't do.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: And sure, my dad's funny, god love me.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: He was a dad that didn't miss anything, like he was at all.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Me and my mom didn't miss either too.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: But, like I remember, like succinctly, like my dad hit every shit hole town.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I played football in college and no offense to some of those towns I played in but um, uh, it was.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: It was, you know, challenging, but I have a lot of gratitude now.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Once I kind of like you know, cause we had borderline something called caregiver burnout.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that was a thing.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I researched it and, uh, my wife and I really were kind of solo taking care of him for north of 25 years, we were 23.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Wow, he passed away.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we went through kind of like what people in their fifties and sixties go through.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: But we went through it in my twenties, twenties, thirties and early forties.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: But just like I'm not like I was, I'm a very spiritual guy and I always say, like you know, god only puts on my plate that I can handle.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: And I just kept leaning in on that mindset and that thought, and my wife was a fricking beast helped me.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: But I guess, with that said, out of curiosity, how did your dad pass?
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Dad of AIDS.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so he, my dad, was one of those people.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: That is that it's kind of life of the party.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Like everybody loved my dad, right, wonderful guy.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: But if there was a you know, four decisions and three were good and one was shitty he'd figure out a way to pick the wrong one right.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: And so there's a lot of issues.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: It is just marital issues.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: It is that caused their divorce and you know, my dad really liked women lots of them, right and so you know, in the early 80s and things like that, you know you had the AIDS epidemic going on and it wasn't just purely restricted, it is to the gay community.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: You know, like you know the movie show today, it was all over the place.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: And so he ended up getting sick and dying in less than two years.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Wow, it was 95 when he passed and yeah, it was just wild because he was, I'm probably, 6'3" 220.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: My dad was probably 6'1" 205.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: And when he died I think he was 85 pounds, like it was just, I mean, skin and bones literally, while just kind of watching that, watching that kind of transition, it's just just interesting.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Is mom still with us?
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: She's.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, mom actually just left Arizona today.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: She came out and came out to see us for four or five days and was hanging out and chilling by the pool in the casita and having all that kind of stuff, and so we had a good time and just put her on an airplane this morning.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: So mom is great.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Mom and I had an interesting relationship, like you know, when I was growing up.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: It was just kind of she and I right, and then it was, you know, me and my grandparents, and then back to she and I was some new guy.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: It is that she married who.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I don't not that I dislike him, I just don't really have anything for him.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I don't you know good or bad, it just is Right and so long as it is that he's good to her, I guess that's fine.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: They have two kids.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Their family dynamic is much different than my growing up family dynamic and my current family and how it is that my wife and I choose to raise and grow and operate our family, which you know mine might be different than yours and whoever else is listening to.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: So it's not to cast judgment and say one's right or wrong, it's just different.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: But there was a long period of time to where mom and I were not close, I think, uh, or she and my wife were definitely not close, or just what.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I mean they go years without even speaking and you know, I think over time it is you just kind of, you know mature, you realize it is that little things are like little things are little things and big things are big things, and most things that you think are big, big are actually little and it's not worth wasting time on, especially as you get older and kids mature and life happens and that kind of thing.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: And so the last couple of years has been great with her.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: And now you know, like my wife last night was just like I don't want her to go home and I'm like I'm going to get struck by lightning, like where is this coming?
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: from you know.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: And it's just.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: It's honestly dude, it's just been awesome man, it really has.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Was there almost like a forgiveness or reconciliation journey to that.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Nope, like it was just and I'd love to have a better story to tell, cause it'd be cool if I could articulate it differently, but really I think it is that it was almost just that, that it just kind of faded away Any resentment or anger towards or you know, I don't know, just kind of faded.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: And as it faded from my wife towards my mom and as my mom, I think, kind of got older, retired, softened, lightened up some, that became easier.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: And since that became easier, it became easier on me.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: And now the three of us you know set up and you know kill a bottle of wine or two and you know talk, story and talk shit to each other and just laugh and laugh and laugh.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: And it was just, it was.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: It was a great holiday, it was a great visit, man.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's cool.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: It was pretty cool.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Now, how about grandma and grandpa?
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Are they still with us?
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: They're not.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: They passed.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: My grandfather passed away two or three days after my daughter was born, which is interesting.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: So my grandfather and I were super close, like crazy close, and so you're saying something about that golf ball.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: So that golf ball is I was playing golf with my grandfather when I was 12 years old and he had a one on one.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: He did.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: He had a hole on one.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he hit a hole on one.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: I was there to, you know, help celebrate or whatever, but I was 12 years old and I remember playing and you know he had a stroke and we couldn't find the ball.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: And we're looking around the green I'm like, well, I'm going to go look.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: And I looked in the cup and I was like, dude, you gotta be kidding me, right, you know.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: And so that was uh from his office.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: You know, years and years and years ago.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: And then the painting above my shoulder it is uh had been in his office.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: He was an architect in texas, had been in his office since the late 60s, early 70s, and so every time I was in his office growing up I remember that.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: And so when he passed, and that was, one of the things that ended up in my office, which was pretty cool so.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: But they had.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: There was no girls in my family from my grandparents down.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Like they had two boys and then my mom and then my mom has three boys and then everybody else has boys and there's boys everywhere, and so there really wasn't a granddaughter.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: And so when my daughter Kalen was born, like it was like you know, the lion King, like you know, like everybody's super excited that there's there's a daughter born, and my grandfather was was, uh, in hospice and kind of on his last thing, and so he was holding on until my daughter was born and then, as soon as he found out my daughter was born, two days later he passed.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: So it was interesting, but I had a really good relationship with him and my grandmother.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: My grandmother was super cool.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: She always had some flavor to her.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: She had all these wild jackets and all sorts of stuff.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: And I remember when she was going, she'd come up to see us in Seattle.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: When I was younger we were at Nordstrom downtown and she bought a pair of green suede Prada loafers and I was like that just says bitch and grandma all over it, right, you know?
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: And I was like whose grandma rocks green loafers, you know?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: And so she was, uh, she was pretty cool like that.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: What, um?
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: What did?
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: What did grandpa do for a job?
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: He was an architect, okay.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: So, if you think, about, like the time with your pops before he passed time with your mom, time with your grandparents obviously, grandpa being such a huge impact on your life, Like what?
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: were like and if you can think of a story like what were some of the core values that you really learned through, maybe a story that you've maybe since shared with your kids today.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: You know my grandfather was just a stand-up guy, like there was no gray, it was very much right or wrong, black or white.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: How you stand up and show up for your wife and your kids, how it is that you are in the community, how it is that you're involved in either your kid's school, how you're involved in church, how you show up Like that era of a gentleman, even outside of the I wear a coat and tie and drive a Cadillac and you know that kind of a thing.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: But that era of that coupled with the, the, you know kind of that Sinatra vibe of just cool was him.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: You know he never shook somebody's hand sitting down.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Um, he always introduced himself, um, he'd always opened the door.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: It is for my mother and my grandmother Always taught you just kind of respect and table manners and on and on, and just the true kind of picture of a classy gentleman in a small town was him.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: And so a lot of that, what unfortunately seems like has gone out of style, which is just kind of the etiquette of a gentleman and courtesy and manners and stuff like that.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Like you know, what's weird in our house that I grew up in that I saw other families do that I learned is that you know, when I, when friends or people would come over, my friends would meet some of or my excuse me, my kids would meet some of our friends or they'd meet you know whoever it is, and I'd say, hey, you know, uh, you know, joshua, this is Mr Jay Cox, you know Mr Jay Cox.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: And people would say, oh, just call me Casey, and he'd be like I can't do that, you know, right, like he's not Casey, you're not Pierce, this is Mr Jaycox.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Shake his hand and say hello, right, you know, and it was always like that for us and candidly, still is my eldest son, josh, was just beginning to.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: It is that.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: I know that he's now kind of.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: There's that kind of, you know, concentric circle, of overlap, of network effect.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: It is that goes.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Who used to be Mr Bailey is now Mr Bailey.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: That's Paul.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Hey, paul, right.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: So now it's Paul, right, you know but that.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: But he's 24 now and out of business school and doing his own shit.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Like that part's changed.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: I think that was something big for my grandfather, my father.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: You know we, we started the conversation and you talk about the things that is, that you learned.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: That are either examples of what to do or what not to do.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: My father was a little bit of a not a mess, but a little bit of a mess, like one of the things that is is one of my.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: One of my biggest pet peeves is being on time, right Like there's the being on time.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, being on time, like being late to me is just unacceptable.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: It's that thing of early is on time, on time.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: As you know, late and late is unacceptable, right.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: And my kids, if they get a tattoo that's going to be on their forehead, right, like that's just how it is right.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: Um, my dad would would tell me.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: I remember as a kid he'd tell me, okay, great, I'll pick up at noon and we'll go to lunch, great, and at 2 30 I still hadn't seen him, and three o'clock he'd roll in, like it was no big deal, and I was like, you know, and as a kid, that just fucks you up, right, and I was just like dude, right, like it, just that emotional roller coaster of that.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: And so, like I, when my wife and I first got married, we were going through that because it's like, okay, hey, we're going to leave at seven o'clock to go to the movie, go to the show, go to Joe's house, whatever we were doing at seven o'clock.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: And you know, great, it's 10 to seven, and it's like, let's go, baby, move it.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Right, my wife was never late, she was also never early, right, you know, six, fifty, nine and a half, and so you know, there's these little, just lessons and experiences, that life, that kind of shape, how it is, as you look at things.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know my dad.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: yeah, I'm sorry, Go ahead.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: I was going to say.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: It's funny how some people in life you either are the 10 minute early guy, which is me, or you're the six, 59, seven, 6.59, 7.00.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: And I would be stressed out and be a disaster Totally.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: But there's people maybe your wife's one of them and I'm like actually jealous of those people that they can just get to the and they're fine.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: And now I like my daughter.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: She just left the house.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: She has like a recruiting thing tonight for basketball.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: She's going to and they've got an open gym, but the family they're going with's she's meeting him at 4 15 and it takes lily two minutes to get there and it's 404.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: She left at 403.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: she's gonna get there 10 minutes early and I'm so glad that she's like, okay, you know, she just doesn't want to um.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Now my son, he gets early too, but he's a little bit more lax with like you know he plays golf in college right now.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, dude, like your tea time, like think about you know, and like I think just I hate to call us guys out, but we're idiots until we like reach 30.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Maybe your kids are different I'm heavy joking everybody but like girls are just smarter a younger age, they're way more mature, they're um, school-wise.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: It just seems like it comes easier to them and then maybe we kind of catch up later in life.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: But long would.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: A weird answer why I'm sharing this.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: I love that time.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: We've taught that and our kids value it because it is important.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: I agree.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, ceo of Tier 4 Group, a women-owned and diversity-certified technology recruiting and executive search firm that connects exceptional talent with extraordinary companies in 43 states across the US.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: At Tier 4 Group, relationships are at the heart of everything we do, whether it's with our clients, our candidates, our vendor partners or with each other.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: Our mission is to go beyond transactions and create long-lasting partnerships.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: We don't just help companies find talent, we help them find the right talent, and that starts with truly understanding our clients and candidates.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: It's not just about filling roles, it's about fostering success for the long term.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: This is the recipe for success that's landed us on the Inc 5000 six consecutive years and has us outpacing our competition across the country, and I'm thrilled to support Casey Jaycox's podcast.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: Casey's philosophy aligns perfectly with ours, prioritizing relationships over transactions.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: His insights on building trust, empathy and connection resonate deeply with the way we do business at Tier 4 Group.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: We were honored to have Casey as our keynote at our 2024 kickoff, and all of our new hires read his book Win the Relationship, not the Deal, when they start here with us.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: So if you're looking for a partner who values relationships as much as results, visit us at tier4groupcom or connect with me, betsy Robinson, directly on LinkedIn and, while you're at it, keep tuning into Casey's podcast.
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: You'll walk away inspired to strengthen your own relationships, both personally and professionally, and, as Casey always says, stay curious professionally and, as Casey always says, stay curious.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't know if you've had examples in business, but I remember there was a guy that I was doing like a like a leadership event for like a sales team, and everybody was there and I was, I was like in a fractional sales executive role for this company and it was meeting to start at 830.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: And at like 841, he tried to get into the Zoom and I declined him.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: He wanted to get in the Zoom, I declined him again and then all of a sudden someone calls hey, casey, this person tried to get on.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: I'm like I know, and he's not getting in, why I go?
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Because he was late and he didn't ask me and he didn't tell me, didn't set expectations.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: So I'm not being the a-hole, I'm teaching them a lesson.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: And so they text me can I get?
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: And I go.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't respond and then I finally talked to him afterwards.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: When I finally talked for his one-on-one, I said imagine if I was a vice president that you were trying to meet with for two years, would you have done that?
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Would you?
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Or would you have said oh my god, kate, I'm sorry I'm gonna be five minutes late.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: Traffic, at least tell me something, just to show up like it's.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: The world revolves around you.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: I just don't want.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: I never will be that way.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: I don't want my kids to be that way and I'm glad that you kind of sparked us court you can see from it, but you're absolutely right, right, I mean.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: So, first off it it should be something personally.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: It is that you hold yourself to a standard that that should be unacceptable for you, period, period, and if it's not, there's something wrong with you.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Secondly, it's unbelievably disrespectful to the audience or the person it is that you're supposed to meet with, and then you just have the expectation that it'd be.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Flippant about the fact that it is that you can be late and it's not a big deal, especially in the world that we live in, it's instant community.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: It takes me two and a half seconds to say, casey, I can't find a parking place.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: I'll be there in two minutes.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'll be right there.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Right, it takes you two seconds, or anything like that, and the fact that you didn't do that just means you're lazy and if you're lazy you don't deserve to get into the Zoom.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: Stay outside.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: No, okay.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: So I love that.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: The old school which is shouldn't be old school, it's still like my daughter has got a boyfriend.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: He's very respectful's.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: He's very respectful and does the um, my son's very.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: He's a gentleman to his girlfriend and I love that.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: This is we're going to talk about this.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: Hopefully there's some dads listening.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: There'll be.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Like you know, I'm going to bring back some of the old school.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: I'm not talking about Tony Bennett, everybody.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about like a firm handshake, calling them by the Mr Um, maybe even a handwritten note.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Never I I still love handwritten notes and people send me them.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: So your grandpa taught you a lot about like just the, I think, old school chivalry of what it means to like treat a woman, be a leader of the house, how about, like you know, dealing with adversity or a work ethic Does.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Were there stories that maybe that comes to mind, where you, where you learned that obviously been successful in business, but like, where did that come from?
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: You know it's.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: It's weird.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of the the lessons that I get from my grandfather have less been kind of taught and more just kind of walked.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: I guess.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Right, you know, because I don't think that generation necessarily said let me sit down and teach you the three most things it is that you can do to be successful in life.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: They just did.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: It's worked.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: They just worked and you watch that and you see that kind of consistency of certain kind of habits or practices or behaviors or attitudes or otherwise it is, and you just begin to observe how other people around see those things and then you decide what it is that you do or don't want to emulate.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: And there's there's there's very few, and I can't think of any necessarily about my grandfather that I would not want to emulate was just a super good dude.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: The work habit in me I work now probably six days a week, used to work seven.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: I think the work habit in me really comes.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: There's some uh, goofy, fucked up chip on my shoulder.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: It is from life somewhere it is that says you know, um, that I feel guilty for not working, like I don't give myself a lot of grace to sit down and just, you know, take a day off and go play golf or do it Like I don't ever do that.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Um, not that that's right or wrong, right, I mean, everybody makes decisions for how it is that they value their time and where those trade-offs are and things I just haven't.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: You know the things for me it is that are, I've always been important is, you know, spending time spoiling, loving on my wife and my children and building my business and then making sure I'm doing things for myself.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: It is that allow me to do kind of mental pushups.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: So when it's time for me to show up and and and give to other people, it is that I'm prepared to do so.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: And if I go take five or six hours, it is to go play golf.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: The trade-off to me is imbalance.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: It's not worth it, right the like I just I just don't see that Right, so I don't.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: You know there's a lot of dads out there and it's not judgment.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: You do what it is that you want to do, but you know leaving your wife, you know working all week, being away from your wife and kids and then going and deciding to spend eight hours on a golf course with your buddy, away from your wife and kids, I think you're a dumbass.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: I think all the time it is that you spend on fantasy, football and all this stuff, that's a pretend life.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: It is that gets or not showing up or loving, but not leading your kids.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: You're kind of doing a shitty job, brother.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: It should probably up your game, like I.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Just it's not a degree of kind of ego or or arrogance on my part.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I just I choose to spend time on the things, that is, that are more valuable than that, which just means I don't have time for shit.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: That's not valuable.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I, I am, I play golf, but I play early.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: So I'm back and like when my kids were young, I, I, I think I, to your point, I, um, I would have played, I would play like a five, 30.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: So I'm back by eight when they were getting up to eight, 30 or nine.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Um cause I wanted to, I wanted to be present, um, you know, and I think everybody's got to come to their own journey of what they totally was right for them.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Um, I mean, they totally do, and I think you know everybody is different.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: For you from everything it is that I understand is you have more control of of your time and right.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: So you being able to play golf on the weekend and this is I just had a um interview with somebody talking about this the other day you're you being able to do, uh, to go play golf with your buddies for five or six hours or do whatever on the weekend.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: You don't necessarily have to feel guilty of that because you spend all the time sewing into your wife and your kids over the week, right?
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: So the challenge is is most people don't do that.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Like, most people are up giving their best to somebody else.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: Their wife gets the scraps on the leftovers and the bullshit that she finds in the fridge and then, man, I've had such a rough week, I'm going to leave and go spend Saturday, you know, getting drunk and talking shit.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: You know, at the golf course, dude, okay, that's why there's.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: You know, whatever 60% divorce rate or whatever it is Right.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Like this dude, you're not you're.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: You needed that up a little bit goal when I started this podcast years ago was just to really help give dads a platform Like there's.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: There's some that, and success is defined by everybody differently.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: How you define success, how I define success, it doesn't mean you're right, I'm right, you're wrong, you're wrong.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: But I wanted to provide conversations so dads can learn from other dads of.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, I don't like where I'm at right now, what are some, what are some things some other dads doing that I might maybe copy them and just use their story as a way to help me improve relationship with my kids, with my wife, with.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Maybe I'm not exercising, I just don't know how to get freaking back on track.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Well, let's.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Maybe you learned a story from a dad, vice versa, or maybe just taking a walk.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's a story about me taking my walk, my dad, my dog, two walks today.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's like I guess I could have done that, versus be on instagram for an hour not doing doing anything, you know.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: So what as you and your wife raised the, your three kids that are obviously two in college and one out of college, one in college, one almost to college what, what were the values that were most important to you both when you're raising your kids?
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, we.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: I think a couple of things is that, you know, I think it starts with the husband and wife.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: There's that old saying of the best thing you can do for your kids is love their mother.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: So if my wife and I are good and we have a good relationship and we're communicating, we're on point, we're in sync, we're doing all the right things, or as many of the right things as we can, then there's a higher likelihood it is my kids are going to turn out okay because they feel safe in the environment as we created for them.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Past that one of the things it is that we had with our kids is that you know, we never had a.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: You know Joshua's had a soccer game.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: So when he comes home, you know mom interested in Kalen, we're like so how was the game?
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Dude?
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: You don't even have to ask how the game, because if Joshua's got a game, the four of us are there, and if Kalen's got a play, the four of us are there, and if someone's got this, the four of us are there.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: Now there's times growing up to where you know it's the normal mom and daddom, to where you divide and conquer because you got one over here and one over here and one over here, like, of course that.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: But if not, we're all together everywhere, wherever somebody is at, and the loudest people cheering.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: That was never even debatable, right, because ultimately the five of us are each other's best cheerleaders, the best advocate.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Nobody knows us better, nobody's a better support, and so, like we coined you know, like we're kind of like the hill mafia man, right, like I'm going to cut you and we'll ask questions later, right, but it is very much the fact that there should be nobody.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: It is that my kids ever choose to spend time with, or elect to favor, more than their brothers and sisters.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: Period, until the time you're married, like Kaylin's got a serious girlfriend, or she's got a serious boyfriend and Joshua's got a girlfriend that he's been dating a while, and so does Tristan, and that's great and we love them and you're welcome here anytime.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: But if there is ever a point to where there's a decision that is coming up, all of them are a far distant second at best.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: The other thing it is that we do now is that they're older.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: If your brother or sister calls you, pick up the phone.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: I don't care if you're in class, I don't care if you're at work, it doesn't freaking matter.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: My wife calls me, I pick up the phone.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: If I'm sitting down having a business meeting with you or dinner with you, whatever it is, my wife knows it is that I'm there and if she's calling me while I'm there, she needs something.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: Hey, casey, excuse me two seconds.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: This is my wife, that priority and a standard as a family for what it is that should be, and everything else is second best.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: People don't do that, like when I see kids, it is that the siblings don't talk or they don't get along or they're fighting.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: You're doing something wrong, dude, like I don't care about independent personalities and boys will be boys and all the other bullshit that people say no, that's not acceptable.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: This is where it is that you know we've really been talking about the fact in our houses that for dads or husbands, it's easy to love your wife and to love your children.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: My guess is that every dad it is that's listening to this when you ask them about their kids.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: And hey, you know, casey, tell me about your two kids.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: You love your kids.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: You're not going to have anybody go sometime right, like, no, dude, of course, of course I love my kids.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: That's the easy part, dude, if if you're loving your kids but you're not leading your kids and setting an example and setting a standard and helping them walk through decisions and helping them kind of grow up and glow up and get to that period of time, to where it is that they're going to be good humans.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: I also think you need to up your dad game some, loving them and being their buddy and cheering them on.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: That's the easy shit.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: As they get older, you got to up your dad game some and, candidly, most people are too lazy to do that.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: I think it's one, one great thing I learned that maybe can help dad's, those conversations You're sparking some people Listen is I interviewed a guy and he and he he'd ask his family question.
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: but say tell, and he'd ask his family a question.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: He'd say tell me what's one way I can be a better dad this week.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: Tell me what's one way I can be a better husband this week.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: And if you really want to know, you want to be better, if you want to try to take your dagging next level, ask.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Sometimes our ego gets in the way.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: We want to assume we have all the answers, which no one does, and I think that's why I'm a continuous learner.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: I love learning from people, I love being around people who have, like which I think, figured it out, but they, they haven't.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: There's just there's.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: There's always another level in everything we do.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: Just a little bit further down the road.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: That's it I will.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: I'll share a story with you about our kids that I think you'll like, I think the listeners will like.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: So my eldest, eldest son, when he was playing soccer.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: We were traveling all over the place all the time and this happened to be one of those instances to where, I think, my wife and I were in divide and conquer mode.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: So tristan was playing in seattle, josh had a tournament in vegas, so I was in vegas with him and wife was back dealing with the other two, and so we're in vegas, we're staying in old vegas.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: So um, front street, fremont, whatever the old Vegas is, I don't know, we're like the golden, golden nugget.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: The old not the strip, whatever the old Vegas is, and so that's where the team hotel was.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: So that's interesting.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: And so we had already had the game today, we'd already had the team dinner, we'd already done all the crap.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: It is that you have to do when you're traveling, and so we're back, have to get up in the morning.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: So I was like I'm not tired, me neither.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: What do you want to do?
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: What do you want to do.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know what do you want to do?
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: Right, and I was like you want to go for a walk?
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: He's like okay, cool, what's the questions game?
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: I was like I don't know.
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of making it up as we go.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Here's the story.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I said I'm gonna ask you five questions, and you can ask me five questions.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: There's nothing off limits.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: You have to 100, tell the truth, no matter the circumstances, and nothing ever leaves this room, yeah, and you and you can see him processing like I want to say yes, but I'm scared.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: He's like yeah, fuck, yeah, I'm in.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, all right, let's roll.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: And so five questions turned into about a dozen.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: But the first questions are kind of easy, like so what's your favorite color, or whatever, something stupid, but like by question 11, it's like have you ever snorted cocaine out of a hooker's ass on a Tuesday in Vegas on a you know like?
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: You know Wolf of Wall Street type stuff, right, and I say that to a certain level of extreme, but it's also the fact that is that we've now done that as a family, collectively as five, or individually, just me and my daughter, just me and my kids, my kids and my wife, serious boyfriend that my daughter has.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: It is and I and her together, with nothing off limits, a hundred percent truth.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: And the thing that it unconsciously did is I got to know Kalen as as Kalen and not Kalen as my daughter, and it's different and people don't recognize that.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: And then Kaylin got to know me as more than just her dad.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: She got to know me as Jeremy and all the different questions it is that you and I start to look at about childhood and this and fears and otherwise, and mom, money and sex and all the stuff that is there, right, and that became kind of really, really cool.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: And so we've done that.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: Now six, seven, eight years, we have some of our family, friends it is, that are now doing that with their kids and it is.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: It's developing a weirdo interesting kind of bond and connection beyond just okay, these are my three kids and they're my kids, but they're also individuals.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: It just that part turned out really, really cool for us.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: It.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: Just that part turned out really, really cool for us.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: The one thing that's this is kind of so silly.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know why it triggered me to tell you this story, but one of the dads I interviewed I interviewed him and he was.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: He encouraged me to get on Snapchat and I was like I'm 49.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: I'm not getting on Snapchat, but I'm so grateful I'm on Snapchat because now they keep track of the streak.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: You know, I have a 240 something day in a row communication with my son.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: You're kidding.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: How cool.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: And it's not because, oh, I got to get in touch with my dad.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: It's like just what we do now and it's I just love that.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: Like I've heard stories of like you go from.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: I just love that.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: I've heard stories of you go from caregiver to coach, to consultant.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: We're out of the caregiver, we're now more in the coach phase, even though he's in college.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: But the maturity that we've seen our son from senior year in high school to now six, seven months into college has blown us away.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: That's wonderful.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: Where's he playing?
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: golf A small school called Southern Oregon.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: Awesome.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, loves it and you know there's ups and downs there.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: But, like I think, because of all the mindset, the communication, the adversity, the stories I've shared with him about my athletic career, mom's journey she's gone through, it's like he's handling it very, very he's handling it very very well, and it's been.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's like the best and so he's lucky to have you.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just knock on wood.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: That continues down that path and just keep the lines of communication open.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: And I mean I'm grateful for Snapchat because you opened up another means of communication with me and my son.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: So what would it be as you reflect?
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: Maybe you got so on a high school, but if you had to like, if you're watching film and you're saying, man, this is an area of my dad game that probably not the best, where I, if I could really reflect and change one thing and that might speak to another dad, if we can help dad, maybe.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: And for me it was always patience.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: I've worked on hard on my patients and I think, just having this podcast for six years, my patience has gotten better.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: Tell me what's near your dad game that you know you could stand to improve a little bit.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: My dad game's pretty on point right now, but that's been a long time coming right, Like there's multiple, multiple years to where it is that I look back and I'm very unimpressed with myself.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: I think, as you're a younger dad not necessarily younger by age, but younger by experience, right, you know you're kind of figuring shit out.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: You know and you're not realizing that there are means by which it is that you can kind of prioritize things, Like it's okay to turn your phone off and play Legos for an hour, Right, and I think so many people that has had that kind of degree of guilt to where they're kind of present and kind of not, and kind of Legos and kind of work and kind of all at the same time.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's just, it's a, it's a bad deal.
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: I justified working so much for prioritizing my family, not realizing it is that, um, you know there's a couple of meetings and a couple of calls and a couple of emails and a couple of shits that I thought were really important at the time.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: That could have waited an hour, could have waited until tomorrow.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: I don't have to answer the phone every time it rings and it took me a long time to uh figure that out on, out on where it is that you're choosing to prioritize things, and I feel like it is that I have that pretty dialed now, like I'm pretty rigid on my schedule and when I pick up my phone or when I don't, and I don't allow interruptions, it is with my children and my wife at all, anytime, regardless of what it is, unless you know somebody's all replaceable or something, yeah, all replaceable, or something, yeah, all replaceable, and, um, I think that part has gotten considerably better over time.
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: I think that you know, just like anything else, I could certainly be, you know, more patient, ish, you know.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: But I think that there's also, um, a line too, for there's a strength that is the has to come with with maybe not being patient.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Like I'm patient to a point, if it's ever to a point in time, to where it is that I lose my patience.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: We need to sit down and discuss what the fuck you were doing, to where you weren't listening.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: That caused me to lose my patience, right.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: And so I think, for dads too, like don't, don't also be the whipping boy, I think you know, oftentimes, you know, um, dads, you know you are because you have the weight of the world, right, like you see behind me, I've got an atlas right, like I've got an atlas on my desk for 20 years.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Right, because you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and, whether you want to or not, most husbands and fathers are forced to develop a strong back and broad shoulders, whether you chose that or not.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: Back and broad shoulders, whether you chose that or not, it's a blessing, not a burden.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: But you need to make sure it is that that responsibility doesn't come without recognition.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not my wife, I'm not my kids, I'm not my parents, I'm not anybody else's whipping boy, I choose to take on this responsibility.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: It is to serve you, so you need to recognize that, and I think for dads it is, is they need to recognize it is that they're valuable and it's okay to take all that stuff on.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: But give yourself a little bit of grace right, like you're not.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: You know Casey's not perfect.
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not perfect, michael.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Jordan, I heard a shot or two, right like.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: So it's okay.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: I think it's good.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: I hope dads realize that I mean I'm thankful I learned that what you just talked about at age 32, 33.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: My, I was coming home and I get home at like 650 and my son go to bed at seven and I was like this is not what being a dad's about.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: And I was like our number one rep at this company used to be at for a long time and it was like, yeah, they loved it, but I didn't.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: I wasn't having fun and I finally was at a just burnout.
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: And I remember when my boss is shout out to Angela Veronica giving her much love in this, where she's like why don't you leave it for?
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like, because this isn't a bank.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: Like bank, nope, nope, right.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: I was bank.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: No, no, right.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: I was like can't, it's not eight to five.
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: It's like sometimes you got to stay late.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like well, why?
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: She's like don't you trust your team?
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I trust my team.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: This is well, we can get your back if we have to stay late once a while.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: Like go home, I know you're gonna probably log back on at night once you like and make sure you're ready for the next day.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: As long as you are ready to go.
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: I'm like I'm fine with that.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like, really, it's funny.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: Once I did that and then I was like that was where I really learned to be present.
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: When I was five to seven o'clock, during, you know, kids, dinner time, bath time, and I didn't answer my phone unless it was, I mean, two out of a hundred.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: I'd answer yeah, and I because it wasn't as important as I thought.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: And the world moved on and when I left this company, after spending 20 years here, they didn't go out of business.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: They're still doing fine.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: So, um, all right, well, as we get ready to wrap up here and go to lighting round, um, if you had to summarize, we'll call it three actionable things that dads can take from our conversation that they can say man I.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: This is a pretty interesting conversation.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: I learned that these, that these could be two or three things I could do right now in my family to maybe be a better leader in my home or be a better version of myself or create a more healthier environment at home.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: So if you're married and half the guys listening to this are married and half are not but if you're married, I would say the first thing it is that you can do is have an incredible relationship with your wife and make sure it is that you nurture that.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: That is the best example it is that you can give your children.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: If you are divorced or separated, it is from your wife.
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: Don't talk shit on her right.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: You're still.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: Whether it is that you're married or not, you're still setting the example it is for your children about how it is that you're respecting their mother, whether their mother is your wife or not.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: That's important.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: The second thing is your habits.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: You know your habits and your behavior.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: Whether it's working out, going to the gym, whether you're, you know, drinking with the buddies, whatever those things are, your kids are paying attention and watching more than you realize, because if you think back to when it is that you were young, there's things, that is, that you remember good and bad about your parents too, and so if you think your kids are not watching you, they are, and I would say you need to be thoughtful and mindful about your behavior, how it is that you act, how it is that you show up how it is that you treat other people, where your attitude is, how much shit you're talking about the news or the neighbor or whatever it is that you're doing.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: Set a better example, like make sure it is that you are proud of you and if you're proud with the person, it is that you are today.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Strong likelihood it is that your kids would probably think you're pretty cool too it's good man, it's um simple, hard to do, but simple.
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, how can?
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: So if people heard JV Capital and they're like, well, what is an investment independent invested bank?
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: What?
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: Like they were, like maybe they're really confused.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: Like pretend we're talking to the three-year-old or the 95-year-old grandma.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Like, describe what you, what you do and how people can learn more about JV Capital.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean.
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: So first, thanks for asking.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: And so I've got a company called JV Capital.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Jv Capital is an independent investment banking advisory, so we were hired gun to go solve problems for companies, and most of those have to do with money.
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: So the business itself is really tailored towards organizing and structuring or restructuring debt.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: So you know our.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: So our core business is five to $50 million check sizes.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: So I don't do good ideas on a cocktail napkin or startups.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Or if I only had $5 million I'd be on the cover of Forbes.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not your guy, I'm not that smart.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: It's usually companies that are at that inflection point to where they don't know if they want to give up equity in the business.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: So they're trying to finance it with debt.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: They've maybe already gone through a round of venture capital and private equity and so now they're looking to continue to perpetuate that growth.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: They just don't want to go back to the sponsor and shake the cup again.
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: Or they've gone to the bank and the bank can only get them sort of pregnant right, like Casey and Jeremy's business.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: We need 5 million bucks.
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: The bank's comfortable with three, and so now I'm kind of there and kind of not.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: Now what the million done?
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: A little bit better than $2 billion at this point.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: That's a good little business.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: We have three funds.
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: It is that are my personal balance sheet plus some investors that we've invested out of the last five years.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Those are just kind of seasoning out.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: But I mean, if you're wrestling with problems about how to structure capital, how to look at partners, how to figure out, do I want debt equity, one thing or another, like we can help with that.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: You know we're easy to find.
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: Just look up JB Capital, jb-capitalcom.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: It's pretty easy.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: We're on all the social channels or otherwise.
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: We do or I've done.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: It's kind of come out of nowhere.
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: It is a bunch of kind of you know, fatherhood, dad leadership, kind of coaching stuff.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: It is the tap-in with Dean and Tony and a bunch of these people over the last year or so that it was unexpected.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: And so if you want to check that stuff out, go to thejeremybhillcom or check us out on any kind of social stuff.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: If you want to chat on that, we can chat on that too Cool.
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: I'll make sure this is linked in the show notes.
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: Is there a specific industry or vertical you guys serve For JB Capital.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: So we have two sides.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: So there's a real estate side which is primarily multifamily and industrial.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: We've done a little bit of office rework because office right now is kind of in just a shit storm.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: So we're having some kind of reorganization conversations there.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: But it's mostly office or, excuse me, mostly multifamily residential industrial.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: On the corporate side it's kind of growing software technology, healthcare, health tech direct to consumer businesses, and then we've done a number of kind of the upper end of professional services, so law firms, wealth management businesses, insurance practices, accounting firms, stuff like that.
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: So just think of us for private capital, non-bank lending.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: You got a question.
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: We can help you or point you in the right direction if we can.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: Very cool.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: All right, it's now time to go into the lightning round, which is where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: Not bong hits, but football hits.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: Your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: My job is to try to make you laugh.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: I'm excited and scared.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: Here we go.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, um, if, if there was a race right now between you and your three kids, you would win.
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, seriously.
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm pretty bad-ass.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: My eldest son is really fast, but but my gym game's pretty strong, so we arm wrestled last night for the other I was like, hey, fuck it, let's arm wrestle Like over the top.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: Sylvester over the top.
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: I turned my hat around, also got it.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: So I still got it and he's.
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: He's a beast.
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: I was actually surprised myself, so if, if there was to be a wrestler, wwr has to play you in in in a real life wrestling movie.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: Um see, I think like old school stuff, like way back in the day, like Jimmy the superfly, snooker.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: Uh, the ultimate war.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I was cool enough to be the ultimate warrior.
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: Not a Ric Flair, definitely not.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: And Ric Flair, that brother, had too much game for me.
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: But somewhere in the middle there would be okay.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: Um, tell me the last book you read.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: Um the book.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: The last book I read was last book I read was Skip the Line by James Altucher, probably my most favorite book over the last year or two that I've handed out probably 25 times was Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: That was a really good one.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: Read that, yeah.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: What would be the one genre of music that might surprise your clients?
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: You listen to surprise your clients.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: You listen to, I'm a fricking old school reggae fiend.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, steel pulse and burning spear and Bob and stuff from way back in the day.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: I really like Peter Tosh, like I really like a lot of that stuff.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: The surprise is nobody, it is the.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: You know the Frank Sinatra and Paul Anka and Dean Martin and Sammy Davis jr and Tony Bennett Like I love that kind of stuff, yeah, but I can rock some reggae pretty good.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you and your wife were to go on vacation.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: Sorry kids, you're staying home with just mom and dad.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: Where are we going?
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: Right now we want to go to Turks.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: We've been going back and forth on that and just haven't been in timing and kids and all that kind of stuff.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: So I would say probably Turks or Maldives is probably next for us Over the next month.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: Honestly, it's probably just a drive to California to go sit on the beach for a day and have a little reprieve and then come home Nice, we're heading to Sacramento this week for my daughter's basketball tournament, so I'm excited to get down and see some.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: It's actually sunny in Seattle today, but it's a little.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: It'll be nice down there.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: Drive fast.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: When you hit something turn, I don't know.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: You just quoted better off dead Almost.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: Is that what it is really?
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: Well, kind of on accident when I've seen better off dead, because I remember where he throws the guy's like damn shit, throwing away a perfectly good white boy, right, you remember that.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: And the uh, the little psycho kid.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: But I want my two dollars two dollars, yeah, I remember.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: um, okay, so what was sorry?
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: So drive fast and then something gets your fast turn, okay, so that's the name of the, that's the name of the book, sure, sure, now it's selling out everywhere.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: Now it's selling out everywhere.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: There you go, come and so now.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: But Hollywood wants to make a movie out of it, and I need to know.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: You are now the casting director, so who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed, hit new movie?
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, dude, that's a great question.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: Give me some Daniel Craig action.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: I think JB should stand for James Bond, so I think Daniel Craig's appropriate.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, and now the last and most important question Tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: So many.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: The first thing that came to mind was beautiful and amazing.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: I could also say loving and supportive.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: I could safe place, yeah, so she's pretty awesome.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: There we go, lighting rounds over Um little little little giggle, little serious, but no, it was, it was fun.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: It was crazy how fast an hour goes by whenever I do these episodes.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: Everybody Thanks for hanging with us.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: Um, jb, thanks for finding me, finding the podcast, and I'm glad I found you, and I hope that um, people took some, some good notes.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: I got a page full of notes.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: Hopefully people can learn from your journey as a dad, um, the good, the areas that you wish you would maybe go back and do differently.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: I think there's let's, let's help a younger dad be a little bit more present.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: Um, if that phone call is maybe not as important as as we think, right, right, it goes back to being setting clear expectations with yourself, with your family, with your partner, with your kids.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you got to take that phone call, but sometimes you don't.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: And I'm almost 50 and I can tell you that I had a nice run in corporate and I didn't have to take every phone call.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: So you definitely struck a chord there on me on that one man, but we'll make sure this is all linked in the show notes.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: I want to thank you for your time and I wish you the best luck, but appreciate you spent some time today on the quarterback.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: Dad cast enjoyed it.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: Brother, thanks for having me you bet.