Latest / We Talk Back / Soft Girl Era or Error?

Transcript

Soft Girl Era or Error? · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talks.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? It's your girl a j Holiday, what's.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Up, tambn my girlfriend? Hey, y'all were back again? And
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I love y'all so much. You hate that they love
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: me too? What are we talking?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: All right? Say y'all? Today's topic? Okay, what I want
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: to talk about? Y'all know, Ari Lennox got her little
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: me and myself.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I love that song, girl, I listened to that song
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: on repeat in the gym.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: You manifesting the soft lives?
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: She said, Yeah, she was like, I try to take
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: out this trash. I'm trying to throw.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Some ass period.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: I love that song.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: But is a soft girl, uh era? Or a soft life?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Is that it almost feels like it's exclusively like to
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: black women, like you really only see black women like craving.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: The stress free, soft delicate. Yes, because so long, like
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: most of my life I aspired to be a strong
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: black woman, really black. But I heard you know that
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: was like the epitome of black womanness, Like she's such
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: a strong black woman. And then as I became an adult,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: I realized why you never hear any other race of
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: women called strong. You never heard a strong, strong Asian lady.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: You ain't never heard that shit.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Strong and Hispanic women be on the roof with their husband, okay,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: and they still don't be saying that.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: She's no strong Hispanic woman, only strong Black woman, you know.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: And that should be a adjective attributed to our black men,
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: not to us. And I think that's why soft girl
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: era became a thing for us, because we want to
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: be seen as delicate and something to be honored and
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: protected and cared for and treated like a flower, you know.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: And that's what I want and that's what i'm you know.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: So that's where that soft girl shit came from.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, there's a lot of social media accounts
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I follow, right, some black, some I like the lifestyle
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: social media. It's like, I, yeah, I never hate her, Okay.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: When I see somebody doing some shit, I know like
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: my turn is coming, right, So I just look to
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: see how I'm ana decorate my mansion all the things.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: So I follow this one. I think she might, Well,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: you send me her Alana Elena wherever her last name
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: is I.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Love to see her contents and breathe.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: I love to see her live. And because her so luxurious,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: it's so soft. Okay, what we see white. Her bedroom
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: is white, the kitchen is white. The dog's black, low
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: ugly eyes, pug, and she's just like super luxurious. Right.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: And then you have like the black girls now who
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: have their like Instagram's booming because they are now married
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: to white men. And now those are the women, right,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Because on one other episode we talked about divesting, I
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: would say, those are the women who have divested, right,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: And the only problem I have with women who have
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: divested out the black community is why are you still
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: talking about it? If you don't fuck with black people?
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Black men, you know, they got the whole dusty thing.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: You know, they talk about how the men are dusties.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I had a baby for a dusty. Now I got
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: a soft life. I followed some of those accounts too,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: because it's entertaining to me, you know what I'm saying.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: So my the question is, is the man, the man,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: the only person that could provide a black woman with
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: a soft life.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: No, I think we've been trying to provide it to ourselves,
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: you know, Like I see a lot of people like
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: doing self care, you know, more self care things that
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: makes it maa right in a robe and uh painting
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: at their home, you know, things like that. So we're
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: being softer to ourselves. And I think that's the first step.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: You know, it's treating ourselves when you know. Like another
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: thing that I was, like I in DP, that was
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: like they were setting us up. Ever they were setting
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: us up the whole time. Independent. We should not be independent.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: We should be cared for and loved and nurtured and
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: provided for. I mean not saying that we shouldn't do
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: anything but sit around and be pretty, even though I
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: aspired to that, but you know, we should be careful
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: like a delicate little flower.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I'm a super strong black woman, right, you know, and
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I hate that, you know, but I see what it
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: has done to her now in her older age, like
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: she wasn't she had to work super hard and fight
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: everything that she had even while being married. I don't
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: want that life. So I mean I'm that way too,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Like I do all the things, y'all. If it's an
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: American mad car, I could fix it, Okay, I be underneath.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Right, see me out there with a newport hanging out
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: her mouth might cost you a little bight cost you
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: a lot. Operators is gonna cost you not y'all.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: For real, I got one in a five hundred dollar
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Jacks that you could pick your fucking cup and spend
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: that bitch around like, I really be fixing cars, and
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I also want a partner who knows how to do
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: those things too, like I like. I like men who
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: can do things, who could build some shit, who could
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: fix some things, like I don't want to always spend
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: money to do stuff.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Right, so I don't mind it either.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Like a super soft life to where I didn't have
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: to do those things, I probably would still do some
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: of them for myself because it just it makes me
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: feel good to take some shit apart and put it
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: back together.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I don't want to work on a car like my nails.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I can't, but I know if in the event that
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I need to change my own tire, I can do that.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you was about to say, you gonna
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: call me.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: No, I can change my tire. Now start smoking. I
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: would start, I would call you, bitch, But the tire
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I can do that by myself. I can jacket up.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: First of all, you don't jacket up first. You loosen
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: the lugs first, then you jacket up. Then you take
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: the lugs off, take the tire off, get the replacement tire,
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: put it on, tighten the lugs, drop it, tighten it
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: the rest of the way. Bam, bitch, I don't need
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: you to do that for me.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I can do it.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I think that's right, something like that. Yeah, so I just.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I don't really, I don't dream of a life of labor, Okay, y'all.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I do not like working for anybody. I know that
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: about myself. Like, no, I don't want to just sit
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: at the house, but I would like somebody to somebody
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: or me. What I've realized recently is that what I
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: want I'm gonna have to give myself because I have
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: had this expectation for men, right that they're supposed to
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: save me, Like y'all supposed to do everything I need
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: you to do, Like where the fuck is my husband
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: to do all this shit I don't feel like doing,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: like carrying all these bags, like washing.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: My car, putting the gas. I hate that shit. I
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: hate putting on my own gas in my car, and
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: I hate washing my own car. It would be nice
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: to have a man that was just like keep our cars.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I really just I really Uh it's those things, but
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: it's really like the financial part, like where is like
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: everybody can't have a rich man. Okay, y'all, we are
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: a real delusion or as women if we think that
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: all of us can get a rich man, it's just
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: not gonna happen. No, that I'm gonna get one. But
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I'm a good one because I feel like I deserve that, right.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: But I realized if I can't get a rich nigga,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I got to be one. I gotta be a rich nigga.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So now you're talking about rich in money because
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: there's difference.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: No, I'm talking about finances right now. Okay, Yes, to
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: get the life I want, I've realized as of late
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: that I'm I'm gonna have to be the one to
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: give it to me. I was waiting, like to try
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: to build with another person, because listen, this life is
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: based off a double occupancy. Okay, it is just hard
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: trying to do some shit by yourself. I see the
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: younger generation, like the like my niece, she's twenty seven.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Those that generation, they're getting married and having kids. Yeah,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, I'm at a twenty eight
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: year old yesterday, he's married a deacon. You know what
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like he just the things he was talking about.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: He has his head on right for his age, so
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: imagine where he would be at in ten years. We
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: learned that window. Okay, so if you didn't meet your
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: husband in college, it's over for your ass.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: He could be just like that.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I never know.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: So I'm like my niece. I'm trying to tell her,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: the one that's in college, you gotta balance it. Do
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: not listen to my mama when she say, girl, get
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: you go to school. Don't focus on them boys, No,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: focus on the niggas too. You gotta find balance. You
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: gotta do both. And because white girls go to college
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: and they come out with a goddamn husband. So I'm
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: gonna need you to do that because it's easier to build.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Don't just marry somebody so you can have a husband.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: You gotta like.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: But you amongst all of these people, there's only five
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: characteristics of humans in the world, I believe, and you
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: can find those. The whatever characteristic you need, you can
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: find that in about one hundred two hundred, three hundred
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: thousand about who you.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Was at twenty twenty one in college or nineteen relationship, Yeah,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: but are you You're not that personal? Nine times out
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: of ten, if you married a person that you like
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: in college, you're gonna be divorced by the time you're
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: thirty five.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: That's fine, but you'll have assets. Do you see what
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? At least you're gonna have you might you
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: might have to have some Ask the right person. Y'all
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: both get y'all degree, Maybe y'all get a degree in
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: some real shit like this is life planning, right, this
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: is what this is what we're missing in our community,
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: like helping the younger people planning life out based on
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: what you didn't do. So yes, I am going to
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: tell my niece find you a husband while you're in college.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Y'all can do all the life things together. And if
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: you do end up being divorced by thirty five, you'll
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: have some property. Okay, y'all having something nice? My homegirls
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: who got married at twenty one kids in committed relationships
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: up until now. Like one of my friends just got
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: divorced her and her her and I know her husband.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I met her husband. I met her through her husband.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: But they had a lot, They had a nice chunk
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: of ship, they had an amicable breakup, you know what
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, And they had a nice chunk of money
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: to split to split, you know what I'm saying. Like
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: neither one of them are struggling. But he.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Just sounds like you was telling what you could just
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: find a business partner.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: That is what marriage is. We already talked about how
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: love is for poor people. Marriage is is a business.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm saying like they could just get a
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: business partner.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Oh bitch, I've been wanting to break out your ass.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Me too, Shit though, That's.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: What I'm saying.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Same shit. It's a lot different when you contractually obligated
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: to fuck up fuck with somebody.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, but marriage license is nothing but a contract, That's
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: what it is.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: So why not just go ahead and do it, That's.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: What I'm saying. I get what you're saying, but I'm
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: also saying you could just build a business, you know,
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: instead of a relationship, instead of marriage, because what about
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: God and the union and not just looking at it
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: as a business opportunity and looking at at it as
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: you know, last, women are trying to like most women
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: out here, I say, now, mad fuck that I.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Am not married for love anymore. I'm not dating for
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: love anymore. Now everybody's dating for stuff.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: No, that's the wrong idea. I think if you do
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: it just like that, it never turns out right, and
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: then you'll have stuff and that's it. And I always say, like,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: if you only have stuff, you're poor.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely soft.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: I know people heard that it was like being shitting me.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: I got all the money I could ever want. But
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: it's people who have all the money and are very
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: sad and very miserable and ready to kill yourself. You know,
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: your true wealth does not lie in the tangible things.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Your wealth is like you're healthy, are you happy? Absolutely,
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: you're happy. You got your sound mind and body. That's
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: your wealth. That is your real wealth.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Right at garden wouldn't make you happier, absolutely, or make
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: me happy? Are about?
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: But if I had an Aston Martin and I was
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: sad and I was depressed and my mental health wasn't right,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: it wouldn't matter. I could drive it all over the place,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: it wouldn't change the thing. Find somebody, Find somebody right
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: now who's sick and asking what an Aston Martin make
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: them happier. Hell no, I.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Think that people who probably were born into money, they
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: feel like money doesn't bring happiness. That is some bullshit.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Money absolutely can buy happiness.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: It can buy momentary happy.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: That's what life is. Life ain't nothing but a bunch
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: of fucking turmoil and struggle and little spurts of happiness.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: That is living. That's whether age don't have money.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: There's a certain level or peace that comes. Money cannot
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: bring you out of some bullshit.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: You can go to a beach, buy you a beach house.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: You wake up to the blue ocean every day, you
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: know what, the.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Ocean that's immersing, sitting on the ocean right now, ready
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: to jump in and drown their motherfuckingself.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: They's selfish. That's why that's a different type of person.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: We know.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Even talk about people with mental health issues, we talk
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: about sound.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying like, fine, you know, if you can
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: get to a place in your your mental health and
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: your frequency that money don't provide the happiness, then when
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: you get the money, it's just that much better, you know,
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: But don't that's let work.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Up is now though right before. That's what I'm saying.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: People who are born into money like they're the brats,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: is what I'm talking about. I'm not a brat, you
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. If I run into a man
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: with money tomorrow, if I run into a bag of
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: my own tomorrow, I'm not a brat, you know, Like
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I've already built my up. You can tell a lot
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: about a person when they broke and when they got money.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: They say, you meet the real people when they actually
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: have the resources to be the asshole they want to be.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not an asshole.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: You ain't got the resources yet. Let's see.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Not be an asshole with money, bitch a little bit.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I'm giving anytime somebody needs something, you can fucking have it.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: So imagine if I have actual, real, some real bands
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: on these bitches like y'all ain't seen nothing yet of
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: y'all think I'm a problem now.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Right, I just think, you know, the truest form of
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: happiness is not I mean financial. Don't get me wrong.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: It's always good to have the things, but that listen,
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: when I just feel like when you had the things,
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: think about something you always wanted, you got it, and
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: then after a while it was just another thing you had.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: I loved my cat. I've been wanting cat for a
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: long time.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Well that's different because you're telling like because if animals
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: are like family, they're living, breathing things. I'm talking about
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: like that that bag you wanted, or that car you wanted,
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: or that you know, like it was like the best
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: thing in the world to you, Like, oh, I got
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: that watch or I got that bag, I got that car.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: And then after a while I was like that you
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: didn't even.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Wash the car, so I so, I said, Aston Martin, right,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: but that that's not the type of things I aspire
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: to aspire to have. I want experiences, right, want that
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: money because I'm not a materialistic type of person, so
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: it would never be stuff for real, it's experiences. Right.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: You got people committing to religions that they haven't actually studied.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I want to gold places and see what's actually like
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I want to I want to actually be able to
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: touch things that money buys you, like just freedom, yes,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: exactly to do what you want to do. Like you
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: got white boys who do deep diving allday, like that's
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: their job because they were afforded a life where they
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: can just think, they have time to think, right, and
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: they just go do whatever their wildest dreams. That is
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: what I would That is the soft life for me,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: me waking up, waking up and being able to do
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: whatever it is that I want with my time right so,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: and it could also store make money. But when you're
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: in a rat race, you don't have time to think,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: you don't have time to.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: You just gotta do. Yeah, especially when you have kids.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: You know, shout out to all the moms and dads
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: out there that like sacrificing their own ambitions and goals
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: because they want to see their kids be the best
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: versions of theirselfs. There's a lot of that, you know.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of that going on where people have
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: to put their own dreams to the side so the
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: kids can have some. You know, I respect that so
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: much because I ain't got no baby to worry about.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: My dreams is my dreams Like right now, I like,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I'm traveling between New York, Charlotte and Columbia, back and
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: forth all the fuck I want freely because I don't
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: have a child who's depending on me to provide her
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: stability him or her stability. So you know, I respect
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: that so much.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: I've seen this off topic a little bit. I've seen
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: this post the other day on Instagram, and the girl
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: was like, y'all, ladies, y'all be careful because a lot
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: of men just want to sit your eys down. They
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: see you got movement. You bunks it from here to displays,
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: doing this and that and they and it could be
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: a subconscious thing. It may not be. I always talk
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: about the subconscious mind. So should you not even realizing
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: you thinking about right, you could just want to sit
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: your ass down, put a baby in you. He's just
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: jealous that you got all his moving. He probably got
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: kids of his own already, but he's jealous of you
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: being so free.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: And when I heard that shit, I was like, that
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: is what I have been experiencing. I believe in my relationships.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: They're just trying to make you sit still.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, because I you know, I don't have no kids.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: If I got a pet, should I take the pet
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: with me or get somebody else to take care of
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: them while I go do whatever I want to do.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: But I can do what I want to do when
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I want to do it. I can see how somebody
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: can be jealous of that.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: There's a softness in that, though you know, maybe you're
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: already living your soft girl.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I've actually been doing what I want to do for
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: long time. So now this this this year, I'm just
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: straight grind, straight grind mo because I have been just
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: waking up when I want to. Just no straight, no discipline.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: So that's another thing that I'm trying to change about
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: me too, Like I do aspire to be the six
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: a m millionaire. Right, I'm waking up between five and
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: six o'clock.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Your heights in the Sarratoga water. Yes, get the get
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: the heart. Because your eyelashes is colored off of the bowl.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: I don't sleep at the lashes on.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: So when I wake up, you put on eyelashes every morning?
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Yes, damn near every day unless I do hot yoga. Yeah,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I'd be having lashes on every day. It only take
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: a minute. It only takes a minute. I put my
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: eyebrows on every day too, every day. I've been doing
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: my eyebrows every day since sixth grade.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Shame. I could do with my eye closes that I wanted,
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Like I was getting I love eyelash raight. So I
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: was getting the eyelashes done.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: But that ship is why isn't so high? See, you
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have to worry about that if you know you
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: do the ones you do strips? Are you doing strips?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: So I'm liking to I know this is off topic, girl,
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: but we girls so the ones that they're putting under these,
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: But I also don't have that seems like even more
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: time in the morning.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Are they the same?
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: It's like little clusters that go under kneath, and they're
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: like long and then they get shorter as they go.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I think it's the same clusters. You can either put
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: them on top or at the bottom. It's no different.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: No, I think these are specifically for underneath.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: But maybe the thinner or the balls at the top
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: thinner or something.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Girl, don't get me lying. I don't know, but all
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: I know is they look good. And it's half the
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: price of not talking to listen. I respect you last
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: girlies and y'all get y'all money, but I just can't.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: It's like, and then if you miss a week, it's
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: more you got to be consistent on time.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because they if they got to fill in your
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: whole eye lish, that's a full set. That's a new set,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: all right.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Me and this girl fell out. Let me just tell
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: this because she was doing my eyelashes and I had
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: my feeling books, right, and then on the day of
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: my book and her kid got sick. She said she
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: can't do it. I get it. You know, you gotta
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: take care of your baby. So she was like, I
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: can get you in next Wednesday. I was like, okay.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: So then when it's time for me to come in,
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: she's trying to charge me for a three week feeling
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: and I was like, no, I was booked for two weeks,
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: she said, but it's been three Who fucking fault is that?
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah? If I really could have just not come back
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: here and got my shit by done by somebody else
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: two weeks ago, but here you are trying to charge
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: me the full price when you missed my.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Well when you kids. When I'm pulling it, she said.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Y'all meetings and like, and you in that profession, right,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: I know, like I do people here, but I am
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: really solicit. So if somebody asked me by the wig
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: or so and it's something, I might do it here,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: but y'all.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: People might though I'm fair license.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Temmy always called me and asked me if she tripping
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: before she tripped on y'all bitches. I just want y'all
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: to know you got a moment she would call and
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: tell me what the situation is, I'd be like, I'm.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Like, do you have the bandwidth?
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Why would it? You know? Yeah, so y'all people who
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: offer services between y'all y'all clients. I don't, and I
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: know I send you post sometimes with people going off
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: on a beautician and the nails. Yah, And that's why
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I have to worry about that type of show.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: We like. Listen, God, everybody, buy your heads bless me
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: in this show in our YouTube checks so that I
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: ain't got to stand behind a chair no more. And
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: she's the same. Amen, fy the guy because this shit
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: it's stressful, and it's not just because of hair. Because
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I enjoy making women feel beautiful. I love when a
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: woman walks out and she's feeling herself. That made me
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: feel like a proud mama watching my baby, you know,
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: walk down the stage getting their diploma. But what I
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: don't like is standing over somebody's head all the time.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I'd be like, I could donkey comb this bitch
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: at the top of it.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: You know, me, me and my best friend Priscilla have
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: literally been doing here since first grade. Her oldest sister
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: is a licensed cosmetologist. So she you know, she went
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: on she got she's a beautician as well. I never
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: wanted to do that because it's not about standing out.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: It's about the customer service aspect of having to deal
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: with black women. And they fucking hear like, you can
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: do somebody's hair on Friday. I like, when I worked
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: in the office, I would be doing people's hair on there,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: like I could do a bitch here on Friday, and
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: you come back on Monday looking at them. I'm like, bitch,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: don't tell nobody I did your hair because you don't
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: let some nigger pull on that shit all weekend. Now
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: you looking at me like I'm supposed to refresh book.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: That's not how you looked when you let I'm not
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: a licensed professional. You see what I'm saying. I'm not licensed,
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: so those same rules don't apply to me. I'm not
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: redoing your hair after you don't let somebody pull on
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: your shit all weekend? Are you acting like a saw it?
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Ain't let him pull it. I'll redo it, book it.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but they didn't. They don't. When I say customer
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: service aspect, it's people wanting to finesse you out of
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: a service and acting like, oh, what us lifting over
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: here and all this, Like you have to be able
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: to do a little bit of your own maintenance. Yeah,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: I agree, you know what I'm saying. You can't expect
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: your hair to look fresh every day for two to
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: three weeks.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: See, that was all right. I know we're off the topic,
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: but super off. We used to. It used to when
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: everything was pumped up, you.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Know, like your hair would last two to three weeks. Yeah,
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: but if you're not getting a scrunch baby, you want
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: to fucking bust down with a lace front that only
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: lasts a week. Especially if you're a gym girly, it's
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: gonna be lifting in no time. You're not gonna get that.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: That's like you at the fucking Live show that my.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Legs was fucked up because I was doing my seventy
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: five hard flig. But yeah, my lece was up the
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: next day and I spent one thousand dollars.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: You're a fault of the beautician. It's mine.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: You know, I understood. I didn't call her because I
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: know I sweat.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Somebody else would call her. That's the customer service. Shit.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I would not be one to.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Deal with soft girl. It's soft life, skiing off men
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: are attracting the right ones.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Here's how I feel if you are out here dating,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I put all your expectations on the table day one.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: If the person who's in front of you isn't for
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: that shit, good riddance. Okay, somebody is going to be
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: okay with your demands, your expectations, your boundaries.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: No, sometimes you also know it's.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Your opinion versus month.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's never know though, all right, so it's not. No,
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: It's my thought is you also have to have realistic expectations.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Like I saw this video or this woman she was
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: on the podcast and her husband got fired and he
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: had been taking good care of her, she said, And
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: he got fired and he was unemployed for a month
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: and she was ready to divorce him, and she was like,
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: my money is my money, and you're supposed to like
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: you knew, you knew when you married me that I
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: want to be taken care of. And no, I don't
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: want that. I want a soft life. And I was like,
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: that's not I don't think that's what soft life means.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: No, it absolutely not, because soft life doesn't mean like
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: just a lazy life. Now there are boom I know
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: some women right who and I know their husband's struggle
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: and they just won't go get a job like you
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: are not with somebody Like are you content with how
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: y'all living like okay, y'all to house a car to
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: a house, two cars and one job? Right? So is
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: that do you feel like you've arrived? Like the income
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: your man is bringing in and make cover the bills?
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: But how like y'all probably struggling with everything else. I
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: would never watch my mate struggle right, first of all,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: But I'm also in the place in my life right
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: now where I don't even want. I don't want, I
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: don't feel like building no one.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: But I'm not going to abandon ship if we begin
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: to struggle, you know, like let's say you have someone
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: who is a provider and something with a sick you
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: know you're just gonna believe no.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Absolutely not. You know, this week has been kind of weird.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I know, I sent y'all an AI video. I feel
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: like a lot of the ship we've been seeing online
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: has already been AI. We don't know who the fuck
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: these people be talking, dude? Are these even real people
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: will be having these conversations? And who's behind the AI?
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Acting like niggas because it's real niggerish. Okay. They are
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: putting all the stereotypes out there. So was that a
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: real person who said this. I know a lot of women.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: Most women they be going hard and their relationships, they
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: be going hard for their men.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: They look pretty real. But that Ai shit look real now,
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: you can never tell. That's why if I ever like,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: if I was a cheater and it was a video,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: it's just Ai. I don't know that's Ai who made
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: that video. That's Ai.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: It was an episode of Cheaters the Girl Show. The
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: dude he was like, dang, meet us my toys. I'd
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: be like, damn, that's my surrogate.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: That's Ai, bitch. I would never cheat. I'm joking.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: Cheat Everything is Ai now. So yeah, that person might
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: not even have been real. Okay, Yeah, putting out there black.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: They don't want women to listen to us and assume that,
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: especially young women, to assume that we're saying like, be
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: a lazy bitch and wait for somebody to come just
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: do all the things, and you do absolutely nothing but
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: just be pretty.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, but there is some okay, there are some men, right.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: That's all they want you to do is look pretty
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: for them. They want you to they want you to
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: shut up right, and they want you to look very
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: pretty going to different events with them. That's what I'm saying.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: A lot of people want these lifestyles that they not
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: even really set up for. Like those are usually the
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: what is it? The thing the young girls do? What
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: the uh?
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: That me? Sorry to get.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Like a deputant? Tight girls though, you know what I'm saying,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: they were raised to be these girls. Around A couple
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: of weeks ago, I was telling you how a guy
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: friend of mine basically told me that I'm not I
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: wouldn't get anybody just just to completely take care of
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: me because I know what I want. So I'm like,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: what do you mean? So basically you have to be
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: like a dumb bitch. Also that I think that's what
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: men think, right Men. If you if a man is
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: giving you this this super soft life, they expect you
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: just to just sit there, just don't do much. I
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: just need you to do what I asked.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: I think they would want you to be more peaceful
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: if they're providing everything.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: You know, I would be more peaceful if a man
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: if I got to work and do all the things too.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to be peaceful, not as not as peaceful, No,
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: because we I'm doing exactly what you're doing. What are
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: you doing? And you're not peaceful? You know what I'm saying?
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: You frustrated with life and all this shit. And I
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: got to feel a bun of that, like what are
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: you doing that I'm not? You know, I I I'm
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: want a hybrid life.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I just want somebody to cover my fucking life expenses
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: so that I can create, so that I can have
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: What are you gonna provide for them? My feminine energy?
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: That's that's that's what these women say they're providing these men,
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: they're feminine energy.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: What does that entail?
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Being soft?
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: Because I feel like you got strong alpha energy though.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I am working on being softer, and I
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: don't know if I don't I don't know if being
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: soft is just talking soft because to me, that's manipulation.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: So I am actually working on the artist seduction then, right,
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: because those women, the women who have mastered the art
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: of seduction, which is the soft life women, right, it's
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: real manipulation. Submissive to being a submissive person. To me,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: it is also manipulation. It is the ability to make
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: somebody do something while simultaneously making them think that it's
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: their idea. Okay, so that is a skill set that
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I'm working on because I don't know. I'm not a finesser,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I don't know how to
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: finesse people. I know how, but it's not my normal
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: setting to be right, So I would have to really
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: like consciously work on finessing somebody, and I don't. I
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: just I don't like doing that. That's why. That's why
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: I can't date people that don't find like esthetically pleasing
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: to me, right, because I don't know how to pretend
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: like I like you for money and shit like that,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Like I gotta actually like you.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't do that either. So women like I
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: gotta actually.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Like people are like Rick Ross, think you're dying, but
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: instead of somebody be pretending.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: But I have dated men who aren't like you know,
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: typically hints and I'm like mm hmm, but I they
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: grew softer on my eyes because of how they treated me,
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: you know, Like, So you don't have to be the
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't even really lie to fine ass
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: needed I don't want you thinking you finer than me,
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: you know, like I'm the fine one.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: So so do you feel like Black women are just
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: burnt out? Like collectively, so we're all just looking for
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: somebody to leave us.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, I think that's why this soft girl era even
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: came about. We're just tired.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: And I think I think men think it has something
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: to do with them, like it does. Like I would
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: like to have somebody like do it for me, but
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: I could do do it for myself and also like
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: live this soft life.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: And a lot of us that's gonna have to be
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: the situation. You know, we're going to have to because
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: of one, if you're not interested in polygamous lifestyle, we
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: outnumber these men, you know, so somebody gonna have to
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: come on shore. We outnumber the men. And then if
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: you you know, factor in homosexuals, you factor in incarceration,
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: you factoring already taken. You know, you're going to have
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: all the people niggas left, yes, full niggas letter, And
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: if you're not willing to share, then you might have
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: to be soft to yourself, you know.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Well that's where I'm at right. So I am aspiring
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: to have a softer life. I even want to talk
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: softer sometime I listen to this podcast, like why the
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: fuck you so crumped because I'm at the house like chilling,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: but that listens to the episode I just.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Talked crump, like when we was doing the juneteenth episode,
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: like you were yelling over me the whole time I
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: was listening to the episode, like really, damn, she comes
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: with your seventeen thousand times yess what we're talking though,
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. You was looking at me, bitch,
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: we be all camera with each other. Fuck you talk
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: about you.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to go listen now, yeah, yeah, because
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I might get get super filled with convictions.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: So okay, let's hear your soft voice.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: I don't really have a soft voice, like and I'm
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: not about to one of my homegirls, like she puts
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: on this little girl voice when she talks to men,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: and you despise a hard bitch just like me. Like
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: not a hard bitch. She's like firm, Okay, she's strict,
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: just like talks when she talks to men like she
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: it's an act though, because she when she talked you
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: probably could beat them up.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: She sound like DMX. And then when she talked to me,
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: and it's cute.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: See yeah, it's like a whole nother like who is hello?
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: But you know what, I think, so men do that
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: the way they interact with their homeboys is different than
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: how they interact with their women. I think we should
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: inspire to that, honestly, Like, we don't have to be
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: talking the same way with our men that we talk
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: with everybody else.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I just I'm just myself, right, So it's just easier
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: for me to be that. It's just easier for me
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: to be myself and then find somebody who's okay with me,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: me and myself, because that's what I'm gonna be.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: You know, I might not have to do that for
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: somebody else. I might not have to do that for
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: a person.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: But you might have to do it for the type
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: of person you're looking for.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: I might not, and I might not because is that authentic?
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: That's not authentic. If I got to be talking like
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Mary Poppins, Hey, baby, would you like a uh maya?
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: I would like one from that voice, say it in
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: your regular voice.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: You want some to drink? Not not really, you put
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: some to drink though, So I don't know that I
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: could put an act on. And that's another thing like, so,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: these these women who have these soft flies on social media,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: they're making money, right, a light off lifestyle. Is that
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: the real image? Or are they actually stressed in real life?
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: Well, everybody's got stressed there. I don't find find me
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: somebody who doesn't have any stress, and I'll show you
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: somebody who's probably not alive there. Ai. You know, everybody's
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: life has stress in it, you know, even the soft life.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: It's stressful creating the content to put it on social media,
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: you know. So I don't really try to use social
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: media as a you know, a baseline for how I'm
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: live my life because everybody, everybody's showing their highlight reel anyway.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I know some women who husbands can afford
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: for them to do whatever they want to do, and
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: like you said, they have children that should look different,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: even with the nanny. It's hard to work being a
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: a stay at home mom to four or five kids
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: and shit like that, to two kids, to one kid,
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: it's a whole problem. So, I mean, it's not it's
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: not it's not soft.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: Can life even be soft? Real? I don't know that
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: I want to meet someone who feels like they're living
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: a soft life. Do you know anybody who's really doing that.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. I know people like to me
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: they might be living a soft life because they don't
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: have to worry about anything financially, right, But I also
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: see that the struggles that they you know, it's still stressful,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: they're still stressed. They still probably can use an extra
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: hour sleep, you know what I'm saying. But the financial rules,
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: they don't have that, right, But regular all other regular shit.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: But these women I'm specifically talking about the software eric
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: because it is a social media thing. So is it
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: is it real life or is it TV? Are there
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: actual women out here living like super alone whatever her
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: name is she's living. I watch her build that fucking
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: house she in and people's talking.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: Shit, that's just stuff. You never know what's going on.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: After she dropped that camera and put that stuff down,
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: that's just stuff. The soft life is not just stuff.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: It's just less stress or maybe met I don't want
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: to ever manage stress, right, I just I want to
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: have less stress to where when something does happen, it
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: doesn't really feel like stress. It's like I can take
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: care of this, you know what I'm saying. So it's
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Ain't that what you're already doing? No, you know, it's
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: little things that stress me out, not big things. I
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: handle big things easily because it's like you gotta deal
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: with it. But anything I got a choice about, I'm
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: fucking pissed, like I'm about to be. I'm gonna choose
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: to be mad because I don't feel like doing this
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: and why do I have to do it? Like it's pakito.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: It's little as shit, And those are the things that
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: stressed me out, small things.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: It's never don't let the small things stress either. Yeah,
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: there's so much big shit to be stressed about you
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: letting the small things get you in the get your
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: panties in a bunch, all right? What's your last last.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: No, ain't out?
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: No last last year? God damn? How long we recording?
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: So like seven hours?
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: It hasn't been seven hours. Hold on a second. We
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: talked about man, Okay, okay, don't just go into with
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: your lab. Let's have a little piece of conversation like, okay.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: I'm in a minute sweeping record.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, it's more minutes.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's long enough. Okay, do you have a do
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: you have something else to add?
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Agent abruptly stop and we already did that on one episode.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: I do think women, we are gonna have to if
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: we want a soft life, most of us again will
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: have to provide it for ourselves. It's not a bad
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: thing to look for a partner that can provide that
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: soft life. Now, if you're looking, they may not be black.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Oh this is what you're getting.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, And that's why I said earlier it's dumb man, right,
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: the white man, because this is what you see on
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: social media is the women married to the white men
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: that's affording these lives. And then you call in black mendusties. Right.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: I don't like that me either, not at all. So
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: can can Can you be a hustler and also have
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: a soft life.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: If you hustling, ain't nothing soft about the hustle.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: Can you be working nine to five and so have
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: a soft life.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: I think you can do soft things for yourself. I
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: think you could add soft things to your life. There's
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: nothing soft about doing it all by yourself. There's nothing
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: soft about being a mom. There's nothing soft about hustling,
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: I think it's just choosing like peace over performance basically, right.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: So it's just I don't know, find some I don't
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: think it's about talking. I don't think it's an aesthetic.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: I think it's a mindset. A soft life is a mindset, right.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: I agree. That's why I said, like the type of
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: piece that comes without money. That's really what's gonna bring
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: your soft girl air to you. Is a mental thing.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: It's not how much money you got, because let's be honest,
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: everybody ain't gonna be rich in it's life, not in money,
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: you know. But they can be rich in peace, they
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: can be rich in health, they can be rich in love.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: If you've got a community of people who support and
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: love you every day, you are rich, you know.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: And get a rest.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when you get real solid rest, that's soft girl era,
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: that's wealth.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: So that y'all get y'all a class pass and go
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: to hot yoga, you feel soft with the white girls
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: going girl, I'm so pissed the white girls and yoga, Like,
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna stop it.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: That's how I started spending while you pissed that down
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: because they know how to do it. So I'm like mad.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: It's like, listen, I have a good friend she teaches yoga.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: I have a couple of friends too, do yoga. Ampilates instructors,
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: but it's that shit is fucking hard and maybe in
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: there just I'm gonna keep going though, because that was
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: the same they would spin. I go to went to
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: spin class. It was a whole bunch of white girls,
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm not letting the ash on me up.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: This is fat girls spinning. Got right back up in
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: there and I can out spind a lot of motherfuckersmen.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: But the yoga shit, bitch, I need to stretch, Bitch,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: I am stiff. I could throw these legs back a
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: little bit now, but girl.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: I don't like my legs back. I can my lungs
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: and my stomach mass together. I don't know what the fuck.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: Put my legs down.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna die and I'm enjoying it the whole time.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: Just like you to concentrate, You really gotta concentrate in
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: that position to breathe. Bitch, what's the all right?
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: I know we gotta go, But what's the machine in
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: the gym where you're laid on your back and your
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: feet are up and you're pressing the weight like this?
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it's called, but that's do that
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: ship the gym. That ship take me out every time
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: we die. I don't never forget, and not because it's
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: hurt my legs. It's because I cannot breathe.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Really, you know, I can do that shit a lot
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: with a lot of weight. Like my life. I can
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: do a lot of weight, but you like when your
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: thighs come back to your stomach and having to push back.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: Baby, whereas the oxygen you might gotta work.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: You might need to do something like breathing. I use
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: this app call Open. I know I mentioned it before.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: I can I give me some ads. I'm paying twenty
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: dollars a month for that shit, but it's really it's real.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: It's really good.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: But because it puts me asleep every night, right, but
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: it starts with the breathing every year.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: Well maybe I need to do that because yeah, baby,
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: that machine, that's my worst enemy in the gym, and
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: I like to do my worst enemy workouts first. But
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: what's your last last? Can I ask? Now?
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: That's it? Man, Listen, you y'all gonna have to probably
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: you know, create your own soft life young Gilly's dating
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: apps and meet you a weardo white man if you
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: want to. But orn one possibly man the ones that
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: these girls got online. I feel like those are the
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: last ones, Like the super fine, gray haired old white man.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: They're still exist.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: One of them gotting no kids.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: They're getting older every day there.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're ving. And I heard Monico. They say Monico
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: has like how many one hundred and thirty thousand millionaires
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: or some stupid shit, some crazy twenty thousand, thirty thousand
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: millionaires in the small ass island. Like maybe need to
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: go on vacation to Monico.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Are you looking that's what you're looking for? Yeah? Yeah,
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: tell me.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: What, Like she ain't looking for niggas with money like this.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: See she's I'm not able to like act like I'm
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: not doing the thing that I'm doing.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: See?
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: And that's all right, y'all And that's your last last
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: all right, y'all. If you enjoyed this episode, y'all, tune
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: in every Thursday on The Black Effect. iHeartRadio app wherever
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: host AJ Holiday two point zero on Instagram, y'all.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: It's official Tambama on Instagram. I love y'all so much.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: Remember speak now.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know don't hold no stress.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: And never hold your stress. Release it.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: De sis We talk Back Podcast is the production of iHeartRadio.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.