Latest / The Vincere Project / Episode 27. Confidence Comes From the Experience
Transcript
- Vince: All right. The Vincier project continues. We're over the hump, the halfway point. Man. I don't you know, I I I was kinda a little hypercritical of my own stuff, like doing this thing and recording, but I f to to no avail and for no particular reason. You know, I had me thinking though, like maybe maybe the writing is like all those pages need to be synthesized again and again and there's neat summarized, packaged up, and then sell some sort of book or vignette or observations about some of my life experiences. Cause I think that's what clients enjoy, be able to gain perspective and ask questions. The downside is you fail so much, you just g and you don't quit, you just get really good at surviving and then learning to thrive in all sorts of adverse and difficult situations and tests of resilience. I I don't There's a lot of resilient people out there in in different ways, so it's not limited to me. It's just like my life experience I think has been so intense or extreme and and it's it's a good thing, man. Some you know it's crazy, it's like you know, over time you develop relationships with clients and you get ten sessions in or twenty sessions in, you follow protocol and do this deep dive to help them work through, you know, whatever they're working through and you're using the evidence based treatments of all the greats and super smart people and that's what makes counseling therapy really tricky in terms of the relationship part. Can ask very direct questions. And man, there was something that comes up a lot was with parents and for myself, you know, is like youth sports and behavior, what's appropriate or what's not. And there's video out there. It's this kid tomahawk chops a kid in the head after the whistle. And man, 100% the right energy. It's the best way to do things. so this kid Tom Hawks' kid, he's probably like 10, 12, whatever, and you know, in front of the net, whatever. And it doesn't show what happened before that. Hockey's funny like that. That's why guys fight in the preseason, just to plant a seed that, like, hey, dude, I'm gonna see you later in the season, and like this is just the beginning. It's gonna get worse. You know, so you're not as aggressive, maybe, with some of the plays and maneuvers you might use, but stick to the head is pretty serious, right? We're not trying to kick somebody in the head or hit him in the back in the numbers. There's a good rolls. We don't want to step on anybody with our blade. And you don't want to hit anybody in the head with a stick, right? So that kind of energy with a kid though, it's that's the point of sports. It's developmental. It's like, yeah, I like the energy, man. It's like, let's just talk about how to do that, right? And that's the nuance where you need to be sophisticated enough as a coach to know the the player. But all you see on social media is everybody wants to blame the environment or the home life or the coach or the Hey, hey, how about like a few minutes before when that kid kicked his legs out behind the ref's back and nobody said anything and there's no whistle? Where he stuck them or he speared him, butt-ended him, right? The butt end from a stick, right? Bang, right? Like a pool cue. You find the spot with no pads. Bang, right in a rib. You know, that that's dirty play. But it, you know, every hockey player's done it if you played enough. Because right around 13-14, it just starts. The game changes because physical contact becomes more paramount and pressing. You know, and I think I think what happens is like on occasion you need a full line brawl in that sport. You need to clear the benches, right? And what's socially acceptable or not. Like, that's not fair. That kid trains boxing in the off season. Well, that's where the confidence comes from for him to play the way that he plays, is because he's willing to take it there. You know, and so I commented, I shared it the the kid doing that. I have like thirty, forty memories of my brother doing stuff like that. The dude could barely turn one way in ice hockey, but he played football, hike, hockey, basketball, baseball he was athletic overall and he was fearless. And he said all the time, he's like, dude, he's like, I'd go out there and Beat up whoever. One time I was getting into it with the dad in the parking lot from a distance, and me and my dad are saying, I'm probably like fifteen, sixteen, he's like fourteen, I guess. And let's look at this guy. Friggin' guy, freaking guy's gonna beat up a guy in front of his wife, wife and kids, right? Because the reality is you look at my brother and you don't think that, but you're like, yo, dude, if that doesn't know how to fight, man, my brother's gonna hit him like a three-piece, it's got him fast. Like really fast and aggressive. You know what I mean? Like not like not like, hey, here it comes. You know, because fighting's a three versus one type of thing. It's like people think about sport. They think about sport and there's rules and there's parameters and they put these people up on pedestals where you have set controls of what you can do or can't do. You know, and then they say like, well, bare knuckles closer, or the UFC is the best, and boxing how about how about they're all lethal weapons? Like you get into it with a human that's trained in doing those things and pr a practitioner of combatives. It's a high, high risk situation for you if you don't do those things. I don't train full time. I don't play it or pretend on TV. I have friends that do. I I wouldn't get into hand to hand with them. But there's mutual common respect because there's levels of things, right? And so in the world where people try to make a parallel, be like, if they're they're good at combatives, they would be a good warfighter. In theory, yes. I'm assuring you that in battle, in combat, I've seen people shoot into the palm groves and they've shot high. And I almost feel like they were shooting high intentionally. And that's not proud. I'm not saying that as an accusation, but I saw it more than once from different people at different deployments. And I'm like, man, that There's just poor training, or there's a fear, or there's like a nervous response. Like whereas pick an MLS, like the infantry, of course, first and foremost, right? Like but like scouts, engineers, supply dudes, like I've seen them in battle, shoot definitely at targets, right? So, you know, you think about the escalations of violence and difference between war and conflict and sport and and then combat life or death situations is a really good example. There's there's an interview of George Foreman. And he talks about when Ali beat him and as he was falling, he was stumbling to the ground, Ali had it cranked up to hit him with an overhand right on a downward plane as Foreman was falling. And Ali didn't hit him. That's why Ali's the greatest number one, right? That's the highest degree of empathy. I've hurt you, but I've hurt you just enough where I don't have to hurt you more. Anybody that's ever fought understands exactly what that is. Conflict. You know, me and my brother and my dad would talk about those things all the time. you you take it to this level, this is what happens. These are consequences of going that far. And, you know, that's that's the power of having a male and a grandfather around that teach you firearms instruction at eight years old and you know the rules how to treat a firearm. My father gave my grandfather gave me his thirty eight revolver and my grandmother's like, Why is he running around with that? You know, Bill, his name is Bill. He you can't you can't have that girl I took the bullets. That was his logic. I took the bullets out. So he knows the rules and had a little holster and I'm walking around. A real gun. you know, a little thirty-eight. And he was the guy too though, right? This is having a good male influence. He was the guy that like he'd carry piano wire on him. So he wouldn't bring the gut or knife or anything to the to church or to schools, right? He he didn't that was that place they just you don't bring to weddings or whatever, you just not it, right? But you just keep piano wire on you. Grandpa, why why you got that piano wire in here? Yeah, you never know when a song and dance might break out. You know, so those those are just male influences and still in confidence, right? And I just want to share a few few things about how that in my life experience, and then talk about how I teach and espouse and encourage people either through an exposure version or a processing version to develop some of those confidences. So, you know, sports is my like I've shared in many of the podcasts, and I always tell my kids it's the battleground for all that. But how does it happen? Right. So I played at Brick High School in Coach Oriama and I was on Coach Wolf, right? They at that time they were the most winningest high school football and ice hockey coaches in New Jersey. So they know a thing or two, right? About winning and culture, numerous state championships and and all this stuff, right? So there's there's patterns in that, right? You're around people that just know how to do that. Win, right? But how they do is they integrate it generationally, right? And so my generation before us, Jim Dowd, who played in the NHL, Stanley Cup champion, you know, he he would come around in the summer once in a while and get Pointers and tips. Number one, it's when you realize you're not making a 10-inch jelly, you're like, yeah, this guy. And not that it's impossible, but it's like, this dude is like he's big as hell and fast, and he doesn't look big and fast on TV. Which means that like those guys are even bigger and faster, right? But yeah, sort of winning goal, stem cup, call this before nationals, man. Talk about getting a 13-year-old fire, but confidence, you're on the ice with these people, right? And they're showing you little tactics and techniques and moves. And then you move into your season to do your job and your role at the appropriate level. And you're doing little things an NHL are showed or Division One national champion, or the Division III players, your Division One players coming back and they're just showing you little things like, Hey, stand here, it's an angle. Hey, you want to think about this when you're in this position, you know, and system appropriate because they played in that system, so they understand where Coach is coming from, he's been doing it forty years. Right? But they also are introducing stuff they're they're bringing home from Michigan or Massachusetts and Canada and and you're mixing up. It's a culture, it's a culture of winning. The expectation is that that's what you do as a kid, right? And so my father did a good job of finding places to, hey, how do we get how do we how do we put you around people like this that do things like that? And I think that's how it gets espoused. But then you know, you flash through into the military, man, and it's very, very similar, man. Is my first day at Fort Brack, I like walking the halls of the SWIC building, the Special Warfare Center, and I'm looking around, I'm like, first of all, those aren't like secondhand paintings or artifacts, those real. Those are like a hundred percent going all the way back. are real photos and real paintings and real images and cool statues of all this stuff and you're like, okay. And these people are serious. And that that was the first observation I made. It's like this is a very this is an institute of war. And it would be could be that all the way through. So flash forward, that's post-9-11. We get into now we're in Iraq towards in our first deployment, and we're linked up with the fifth group guys and the 36th Candak. Now, mind you, this is confidence, right? This is for young me. This is my first deployment. I'm new to the army, right? The these guys, this particular team, plus they were enhanced special forces team. I think they were they were enhanced with another team. But the team we were attached to, we pulled rear security on the raid on the gold mosque. The hospital and throughout the town and over the course of the next 72 hours, 96 hours, whatever it was. It was just insanity, right? And you know there was 128 enemy killed to to one USKIA. And I'm not a Westmoreland guy where I like keeping count and score, but I can assure you that the team we were with did about half of that. Who the team, all of us, we were part of that. And And so you flip it over, you're like, that's pretty intense, man, and lethal. But where does that come from, right? Is those dudes, that group, that team had been together for the invasion of Afghanistan in 01, right? Doing all sorts of stuff, right? Helping bring down a government, kill the Taliban, disrupt that whole ecosystem. They come home, they train up, they refit, they get some augmentation, they plus up, they come back to Iraq for the invasion. Right? Like now you have you have You know, like that's we took down two countries in three years. Some serious dudes, some serious serious men, right? These these guys are serious. This is a very, very serious thing we're doing. But the confidence. You train it up and rehearsing, talking through, and this is the annex. Hey, we're gonna here at this timeline, this is what we're doing. Hey, we're gonna get support here. The AC th one thirty's gonna be doing this on the station. By the way, which if you've ever seen an AC one thirty in combat, like Google that, like In in Live in the Flesh, the first the first time I saw it earlier in the deployment, like in the spring, I was like, man, I I pray to goodness that's on our side. Like it was devastating, it was lethal. And but the confidence, this is where it comes from, is I'm a specialist, I'm new, I'm new to war, I'm new to combat. Right? So but I have experience now. I have nine months of a deployment in 04 and in Samar, Iraq, and Sunni Triangle, and we were in combat. But now I'm around these guys in a very short period of time, they're dumping knowledge. Hey, you can change the volume on the radio this way. Hey, you can link up to the satellite that way. Hey, you can change and adjust the turret this way. Right? Hey, we'd like to keep our AT4s up here. That's better there. The grenade's better looking here. You everyone knows where it's at, your S and P because you're just kind of integrating with the team and this is what you're going to be doing. You know, in my role in a very small piece, right, is like I'm I'm pulling security on my little my little street. Right? And then Steve's on the gun, he's catching the roofs and s and the the windows and the doorways. Brad's on the neck controlling, right? And he's focused on what's happening in front and picking up some security and Slack, you know, and the interpreters on the the the radio for the Psyop guys or whoever and he's like You know, the mosque is blaring, come kill the gringos, come kill the Americans, come and it's all and it's happened throughout the city, the battle. It's unfolding. But that confidence was instilled by being around professionals, how to behave, how to act, how to walk, how to wear the right attire to do the mission and the job. And then you use the little things they gave you, and that's what instills confidence. Be good at your job, what it is that you do, your unique traits and characteristics and competencies. But if you add these two as an add on or an accessory to the thing that you're doing, you'll be that much more lethal. l and more composed and you'll be more confident in very, very ambiguous moments. And that's exactly what combat in battle is at every level. Every single level. From the guys on the radio, whether it's the the commander, the JTAX, right? Any short of leadership or or or whoever, headquarters, talks, outpost, whoever you're communicating with. It's all communication. And it's this wild orchestra, just like sport. You know, I think it's I think it's I think it's a powerful way for humans to express things. I also sometimes think it's maybe the one of the dumbest ways. It's doing barbaric stuff, man. It's not you know, you're you're not there necessarily just to help people, you're there to hurt people too. So you using and having that empowerment and discretion of when do you do those particular things, and you know, talk about confidence boosting ego. You know, that never leaves. So the bodywork of experiences I'm giving you going back to Fortnite was a kid all the way up through is like no magic light switch, whatever anybody thought, they thought or didn't think. Like Dude, there you know, there there are times when you're outnumbered or overrun, you're an underdog in the classroom or in the sports or in the battlefield and goal and role and in effect is to tip things into your favor at all times. You know, that's where the confidence comes from, man. And you know, I I think the rate on the gold mosque is an example of that, man. Because you you know, sharing that with my kids, right? Like, hey that like your dad is that's your dad, dude. That's not that's not Call of Duty, that's not Xbox, that's your friends, you know, it's not comparison, it's not something to to to Law and be your singular greatest moment or contribution, but it's it's yeah, it was a very real moment. It's part of my life. You know, and you know where does it come from? Is it comes from that positive mindset, simply put? It's the red attire, it's silence creates some of the confidence. 'Cause it allows you to work through your vulnerabilities and determine what you want to be focused on. You're determining it at that point. Hey, you're taking in all information data, you're making good decisions, that's the confidence, and it's no magic light switch. And I think repetition plus iteration will always equal greater intensity, right? And the military is a really good phrase. They use it with firearms training, but it's it can be applied anywhere. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast, right? And you can think about the logic of the turtle and the hare, right? Like turtle always gets there, man, and you have to create more evidence and more evidence and more evidence. And this phase of my life, I I I'm glad I don't have to go back to war at this moment. I don't anticipate it. I'd like I don't like to stay in that mindset or even go there, but I do understand what how to create patterns of confidence. And nowadays I do that with people I'm around in in counseling capacity, man. It's like it's not because I know. It's because I love you enough to be a jerk and be direct and tell tell you that like, hey, this is gonna favor you and serve you better. Whatever route you go in your professional career. And so that in incubated little safe area, that's where I express that and do that. And with clients as well, man. You know, and I'm an all the way guy. Like, You know, I think that's that's a huge, huge gift. But yeah, like I I shar I've shared before, is the feedback. You know, I find that my personality's become something where I'm so serious that like nothing's serious anymore. You know, I'm empathetic and kinder and gentle and I do a better job of letting things roll off my back and I don't forget either, like But I'm not keeping score either, right? Like it's like, you know, because at some point we're we're all gonna have our exit in this life, man. And some people are gonna go like, no, no, no, please, please, no, please, no. Other people are gonna say, God, God, take me, take me. Other people are gonna be in the middle of a fight or threats, and we're gonna be walking up the steps. You know, we we we have no idea. Let's just be empathetic to that. You know, empathetic to that. You know, but it doesn't mean we don't have to instill confidence. Right, like I have confidence that I am going to die. And my confidence that I am gonna die allows me to invest in things like Bitcoin, which my estimation in the last ten years is made me a better person, by the way. Like my behavior paired and mirrored and mimicked with Bitcoin and that that time measurement, it could be coincidence. I have no evidence to support it beyond the way my life is rolled. But yeah, it's a store of energy. I kinda look at myself as that. Like it's a store of energy and how do you multiply that beyond you? Yeah, you you do your best to to make a few good decisions. You only have to get rich once. You know, and then you have to protect it. You only have to get strong once, and then you have to protect it. And it's harder to protect any of these things than it is anything else. You only have to fall in love once, but then you have to protect it. You have to get pregnant once, then you have to protect it. Have a child once, protect it. I start a business once, protect it. Build a friendship and relationship and protect it. That's harder said than done, man. For me. I'm temperamental, man. You know, but then a handful of friends like the minute I sense somebody's not all in on what it is, it's hard for me to commit to a friendship. That's why I'm very cautious. I like having very fair exchanges or transactions and mutually supportive relationships with limitations and boundaries that are but the handful of people I'm all in on, man, I'm all in. Like, yeah. Cause good friends don't let don't fly their friends in coach. You know, I I don't I don't I don't like there's no at this point, there's no H hour event with the exception of Wyoming because the planes are just smaller to get in there that anybody needs to fly coach with H hour. That's what I tell my team all the time. I tell my my family, a handful of people who've contracted at points, yeah, I just want to do that. 'Cause I think I think if we're friends and we're close enough to me to spend the extra couple of dollars to make sure you're comfortable and have a little space so you can be relaxed when I pick you up at the airport or I send one of the guys to get you, like or their service or whatever, like I need to know that you have had a relaxing travel and a good stay. And when you get on target, like we need some privacy and hopefully a good room or a view or whatever you need, right? But like I don't know, yeah. A handful of times, right? Like except for Aunt Jamie she decided to go to Wyoming and had the flight coach. You know? It's all good, man. But we want confidence. I think that's where it comes from. Good friends fly their friends in first class, man. I believe that too, by the way. And confidence comes from that, right? Where people, you know, always looking and observing and poking, prone, trying to like steal and get what they can or observe things. I had the experience twice, man, this past year. I a student right in front of something happened. And I turned around and bought fourteen grand worth of Bitcoin in front of a student. I'm just sharing the number because for sake of conversation, but not a lot, not a little and He looked at me, I was like, huh. I was like, yeah, because in six months, there's no way I'm gonna be angry about what I just did right there about that that situation. Like I declined something else or said no and took the rejection as like, all right, perfect. I'm right in real time in front of this student, right? And they were like, huh. I was like, yeah. And now we sit here six, seven, eight months later, and like it's just like, huh. Yeah. Like it's it's magical. And there's another time I was on a flight and Rip off and get super comfy because Mary and train events make sure you know I wouldn't fly my friends to go do a work thing and coach. And so she makes sure I'm in super comfy in first class, you know. She's a rich white girl with a good credit score, man. She's the best. You know, and the student sees another, you know, same kind of thing sees that I'm like talking all that smack, but it's like real, you know, because I value my time, effort, and energy. You know, and it's not about the flights. It's it's about comfortability and and being a consumer and making good decisions to figure out like, hey, how do I build a a a system that allows me to design my life the way I need it to be? For some people it's flying private, right? Having a net check car or having a own plane, it's levels. Some people are okay in economy and coach and they look at it as a bus ride, they get on, take a wake up, they're there. There's nothing wrong with that. But for me, if somebody's working with me Right, or I'm hiring them to do something. I'd rather them be comfortable. And it might not be the flight thing. It might be the hotel's gotta be nice, right? Like a have a nice hotel and breakfast included. I think those those things matter and they're considerate, right? Especially when you're not a big conglomerate or Google and you know you your friends and family maybe are in a small mom and pop. So those gestures like add up really quickly, man. Just social capital. They're gestures. That's all they are. They're not garbage quick seam. But maybe somebody doesn't have that experience. Yeah, dude, I do contracts all the time. They fly in the economy. These are fucking That's an F-bomb. I'm gonna owe because I'm going long. 225 for that. For where that's going. Gotta make a note of that. where that goes. That's confidence. Get lazy and then complacent and then, you know. But anyway, big organizations, wealthy people, they don't they don't do that for him. And he was like, I was like, yeah, because I I think we're just we look at it differently, man. Like, you know, it's it's good to have a transaction, but then there's limitations to that relationship at this stage. 46 man. What a relationship. I'm a long runway, dude. want to I want to watch people grow and overcome and deal with because that's what I'm doing too, man. Then you you know you get to teach people confidence and you you break it down into forms of exposure. Right, 'cause you have to be exposed to the thing that's creating the discomfort early, back to firearms or fighting, or jumping out of planes, or running races, or learning new languages, whatever that hard thing for you is. Sometimes getting out of bed is the hard thing, right? Because there are people that can get to a point where their depression has been presented in a way that they're crippled and ice cold and don't even want to get out of bed. And I would say the the greatest courage at that point is taking a cold shower and shaving your face if you're a dude, if you're a gal doing your hair, you know, and And do start with the hygiene. Like some days hygiene is just it. Like the the government and the army figured that out. Marine Corps and military. Right? Hygiene, right? Like let's not have any lice spreading or or bad booty. Right? Let's get a shower. Let's get a shower. Then we're gonna go for a walk. If we can walk, right? Because maybe we have a physical limitation that doesn't let us walk we're incapacitated and we're stuck. So that walk might be a mental walk. Like, hey, I gotta I gotta do my puzzle, I gotta read something, I gotta watch or listen to something. Maybe prayer meditation are part of it. I think they need to be, but that's everybody's different. Prayer for me works. You know, I'm so average and mediocre, I have to beg God for forgiveness and mercy and and and courage. I gotta beg. Right? Because I I have the I have the gift and the curse of being naive, ignorant courageous, which allows me to navigate through the world. Sports, business, all of it. Like you know. Yeah, I talk to people like totally, totally. And it's not it's not arrogant. I just I don't I'm sharing what it is. They interpret it are gonna overanalyze and pick it apart. And that's okay, I I expect that. But I'm just looking to share it as like a commonality of like my quirks at idiosyncrasies, that's what comfortable in my my skin. Yeah, so Seriously on serious. That's how that's how it is, right? But that confidence, is it a competence thing or I think it's I think it's I think it's skills, competence, bravery in that particular order. Hey, let's build a skill. The box is this big, we're gonna jump this high. For how many times? That's repetition, iteration. The repetitions we're gonna have to mass thousands of reps. The iterations though is like we do have to s go slower, right? Slowest smooth smoothest fast. We to go slower. To build really good pattern recognition, you know, and I think I think there's a lot of models and professional coaches, performance coaches, speech coaches, advisors, fitness coaches, health coaches, therapists. There's people that do that stuff. They do it well, man. But internally, you know, the internally inside of organizations, just people that are beyond world class and get paid really well to do it within organizations. And those organizations know that that person, they may be deficient at their spreadsheets and reports, but they get people cooking. They get people moving and doing things, man. So you make those adjustments. Or like, hey, this guy is never gonna be on time with his his quarterly reports, and they don't really particularly matter, and somebody else can do them. And AI's here. But this guy gets the team fired up. Or gal. We need that person. That's good management. And then leadership makes a decision to make sure those people are there. So that's repetition. Whatever. Repeating this and iteration as we make the modifications. Hey, let's like more balls of the feet. Let's use our momentum certain ways. Let's use our arms and hands a particular way to generate more momentum, right? Because success likes a home. It wants to have a home where momentum's been built. It has velocity and speed and decisiveness, right? But that comes from those repetitions that lead to those iterations in time and space, right? Because it's a it's a temporal issue, right? Temporal inside the brain, actually, right? It's it's about time management and then information management data and that connection, the physical. Mental, emotional connection at a minimum. And then I think if you're doing anything right and you're seeking a high, high level. Virtuous, graceful. You know, that that's that's where a degree of mastery comes, and that's a lifespan's work. You know, and then the that's that's so that's exposure, right? The box I use it as an example. And then there's the processing version. Processing version is having the courage to write down or utter the words that are often connected to the most difficult things. That's confidence, right? I feel ashamed because I feel guilty because I feel bad because I feel this because, I feel that because. Especially things that are guilt, shame, and embarrassment and tied together, they're inextricably connected to a lack of confidence. And then sometimes that could be a childhood development thing, that can be a relational thing, it could be biological thing, it could be a feedback thing. People have gotten so used to the world teaching them and treating them so particularly that they don't believe that their hygiene particularly matters. And man, I could tell you that if you're not able to manage the little bit that you have or the space that you have, it doesn't get easier as it gets bigger. There's just more responsibility. You know, and and I think that's it. Physical fitness matters like that. Spiritual robustness, you know. Man. Eleven minutes over today. This thing's starting to get too long. Maybe I gotta still make better notes. I didn't even get through all my notes. So maybe I overprepared now and I have too much to talk about. I don't know. But yeah, confidence. What does that look like or feel like, sound like? You know, and talk about benchmarks and time, I'll leave on this. I'll finish up on this. man. You know, when my my goddaughter of Sweet Sixteen this past weekend, I haven't been a great godfather, think about, you know, she's that that age man where things are changing rapidly. But sweet sixteen, she was born, we were still in Afghanistan and my buddy and I were sort of ID like the week or two before, you know, and you know, man, he survived some damage and it was just bad. Just bad, you know, TVIs and stuff. And somehow some way he gets out on emergency leave after whatever and Gets home and the baby born like a day later, I guess a couple hours later. He goes to the airport to the hospital, kind thing. Pretty amazing. You know, Afghanistan right home 16 years ago. And I see that and it's a benchmark in time selfishly for me. I'm just watching, look at them, how much he's changed and what he's gone through, and seeing their family, how I know them. Her brother wasn't even around or an idea at that point, you know, and watching her sister grow up. And for me and myself, I'm like, man, thinking about the last 16 years, I'm like how much crap I've been through. All those changes and where'd that confidence come from and how many times it got challenged. But yeah, I think the sole role we have in this this life, if you consider yourself a leader, is to instill confidence, man. You don't have to be the best at the thing you're doing, but you need to be so, so maniacal that it demonstrates nothing but the utmost confidence in other people to include your wife, your children, clients, your teammates, your postman, the guy working the deli, the bakery. I want confident people stacking those shelves, dude. I need confident people paving the roads. I need confident people serving in their p capacities, dude. So when I see people that are kind of mean, mugging and sad or they're not treated well or whatever, you know, I always share with them, you know. Like you know if it's appropriate. Okay, smile more. You know, smile more. You know, if you want you want Want people be confident. Yeah, yeah. Walk with that chest up, dude. That chest out. What do you care. You know. You see that from people who have had to stand down things and they've had to go solo on things, right? You see people that have been through a really difficult time where they lost everything. See people that could have to go to trial, start a business by themselves. Like, yeah. Travel and journey and go around the world and figure out where's their tribe, man. They develop a confidence. It's naive, ignorant, courageous to the end. You know, and everything will shake out. Everybody's gonna have something to say though. That's for sure. Everybody's gonna have something to say, man. But yeah, I think I think for me, I think the confidence comes from repetition plus plus iteration equals intensity. And that's where we get good, man. You create more evidence of the thing and you can be the thing and do the thing. And then you gotta repackage the thing and then you start to simplify the thing and then you realize you're like your man, I don't even have a a firm understanding of this, but I I conceptually grasp enough to be able to share anecdotes, observations, you know, auditory, visual, and tactile cues for other people to be able to synthesize that information. That's the road to mastery. All right, we're done. Confidence. Create that stuff. Give you some examples. Be that all the time. No matter what. Create the patterns, habits, and rituals and practices to be the most confident version of you. Vince is gonna do that. So when you show up at his office, that's just how it's gonna Because that's what I do. Seriously un serious, because everything is just kind of funny to me. Cheers.