Latest / Jo Watson: Unfiltered Faith / Forgiveness, Family
Transcript
- Jo Watson: Welcome back to Unfiltered Faith. I'm Joe Watson, and it's time to breathe. Time to slow down. Time to let your shoulders drop. And time to step into the sanctuary. Not the sanctuary that we're all so familiar with, but the one that God is building inside you. Today we're stepping into one of the hardest places to live out the teachings of Jesus: forgiveness. Especially when the wound comes from your own family. If you've ever tried to rebuild trust with people who keep hurting you, if you've ever felt torn between honoring Jesus' words and protecting your heart, if you've ever wondered how many times am I supposed to forgive someone who keeps breaking me, then this episode is for you. As we dive into our topic this morning, remember that. We are family. This is unfiltered faith, so let's go. Matthew eighteen twenty one through twenty two is one of the most quoted scriptures on forgiveness, and one of the most misunderstood. Today we're going to talk about what Jesus was saying, and just as importantly, what he wasn't saying. Our story this morning is from one of our listeners. We'll call her Jesus. Ava This is Ava's story. I grew up in a family where love was real, but everything was dysfunctional. My father left our home when I was young, so I never knew much about him. And while my mother did the best that she could to make ends meet, it seemed there was always something that we struggled with. Something like money, one of my siblings getting into trouble and Or some strange man around the house, or some family member or church member judging us. It always seemed to be something. So I earned learned early to be the peacemaker who settled disputes, the fixer who cleaned up the messes that were left, the one who absorbed the tension so everyone else could breathe. As I got older, I tried to set boundaries, tried to speak up. Try to heal, but every time I reached out and tried to reconnect with my family, every time I tried to trust again, the same patterns repeated, the same words cut, the same betrayals resurfaced, and the old wounds upon opened up like it was yesterday. I found myself asking God. Lord, how do I forgive people who try to keep hurting me? I feel guilty for pulling back, ashamed for feeling angry, and conflicted because I know that Jesus said to forgive seventy times seven. But does forgiving them mean I have to keep letting them hurt me? Well, Ava, let's look at what Jesus was saying. In Matthew eighteen twenty one through twenty two, in response to Peter's question, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus said we are to forgive others seventy times seven. Now to fully understand what Jesus was saying, we have to look at the context of the whole chapter in Matthew eighteen. Jesus was speaking not only about forgiving one another, but about Christian character and Both in and outside the church. The admonition to forgive our brother or sister seventy times seven follows Jesus' discourse on discipline in the church in Matthew eighteen fifteen through twenty, in which he lays down the rules for restoring a sinning brother or sister. In Matthew eighteen fifteen, Jesus says if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault and Between you and him alone. Adding a little more context, the Jewish rabbis at the time taught that forgiving someone more than three times was unnecessary, citing Amos one three thirteen, where God forgave Israel's enemies three times than punished them. By offering forgiveness more than double that of the Old Testament example, the Peter probably expected extra commendation from the Lord, but Jesus responds by saying, I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Here's the heart of what Jesus was saying. Forgiveness is a posture, not a math equation. Jesus wasn't giving Peter a number to He was giving him a way of living that refuses to let bitterness become the ruler of your heart. Forgiveness is about releasing the debt. It's choosing not to carry the poison of resentment. It's choosing freedom over bondage for yourself. Ephesians four thirty two says Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other and Just as in Christ God forgave you. Forgiveness reflects the character of the God that we serve, the God who knows everything about us, the God who heals, the God who is eternal and without limits. We forgive because we've been forgiven, not because the other person earned it, but because grace has shaped us. Jesus was teaching that forgiveness is unlimited because God's mercy toward us is unlimited. But that's not the whole picture. We need to talk about what Jesus wasn't saying, because this is where so many believers get trapped. Jesus was not saying stay in harmful patterns. Forgiveness is not permission for someone to keep wounding you. Proverbs four hundred twenty three says above all else guard your heart. Jesus was not saying trust everyone. Forgiveness is commanded. Trust is earned. They are not the same. Let me say that again. Forgiveness is commanded. Trust is earned, and they are not the same. Jesus wasn't saying ignore wisdom and boundaries or consequences. Jesus never asked you to sacrifice your emotional, spiritual, or physical safety to prove your holiness. And Jesus was not saying reconciliation is required. Forgiveness is a one person act. Reconciliation is a two person miracle. You can forgive. Someone fully and still choose distance. You can release the bitterness and still protect your heart. You can obey Jesus without putting yourself back in the line of fire. Jesus was not telling us to keep returning to a place that destroys our peace. He was telling you to keep your heart free from bitterness even if the relationship never becomes what you hope. Forgiveness is one of the most sacred tensions in the Christian life because when the hurt comes from strangers, it's sometimes easier. But when the hurt comes from the people who were and are supposed to protect you, the people who share your blood, the people who shaped your childhood, the people in your church, forgiveness feels like betrayal of your own pain. But hear me. Forgiving your family does not mean pretending the wound didn't happen. It does not mean minimizing the trauma. And it does not mean giving them access to your heart again. Forgiveness means you refuse to let their choices define your future. It means you choose healing over hatred, peace. Over poison. Freedom. Over bitterness. If you're listening right now and you feel like Ava, if you're carrying the weight of repeated hurt, if you're torn between honoring Jesus and protecting your heart, say this short prayer with me now. Take a breath, place your hand over your heart, and pray this. Jesus, I release the debt. I release. The bitterness. I release the expectation that they will become who I needed them to be. I forgive them. Not to let them back in, but to let myself move forward, to heal my heart, guide my boundaries, and teach me to walk in the grace and wisdom of Christ Jesus. Amen. Forgiveness is not weakness, it is strength. It is courage, it is obedience without self abandonment. Thank you for joining me today on Unfiltered Faith. If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs the reminder that forgiveness and boundaries can coexist. You are not alone. You are not Failing Jesus. You are walking the narrow road of grace and wisdom, and He is proud of you. And if you're struggling with forgiving someone who's hurt you, this episode is not a substitution for professional therapy or pastoral guidance. Please seek the help you need. And until next time, family. Unfiltered faith, God is moving, so stay ready, and to God be