Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / The Sound of You Series: Finding Stability in Shock Part 1

Transcript

The Sound of You Series: Finding Stability in Shock Part 1 · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: You are listening to episode 50.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Just a few short weeks ago, I told you about my summer and the transitions I've been walking through.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I lost my dog in June and then I moved at the end of that month, plus then gearing up for a new school year, a new principal and a new assistant principal.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I just haven't found my rhythm yet.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I feel like I've been off, and just maybe I'm the only one aware of it, but I'm a little frazzled, which leads me to this point.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: A couple of years ago, I read a book by Sarah Bessie titled the Rhythm of Prayer.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: It was a nice calming force for me at that time and it has now.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Because of my transitions over the summer, I have now gone back to that book to reread it.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: There was a three-word phrase that stuck out to me that I've since written about on my blog, but I thought the time was appropriate to maybe share it here on the pod.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: My question for you today and I seriously want you to think through it is this what Are you walking through?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: A transition, or seeing one on the horizon, or know a friend that is walking through a transition?
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: You see, transitions are both exciting and excruciating.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: They've been handed to us at a moment we never saw coming.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Or maybe you've been planning this transition for over a year now.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Whatever or however it has been announced to you, you may be feeling a bit frazzled, anxious, fearful or even angry.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: So, over the course of the next few weeks, I would like to take you on a journey for hearing the sound of you.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I know that may sound weird, but hear me out.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: You see, in the middle of the shock of a transition, you must take the time to learn and hear the sound of you.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: What exactly do I mean by that?
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Well, here let me tell you.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: You see, we have set a pace that keeps us from utilizing quiet time.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: We don't take the time or opportunity to be quiet for any length of time.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: We are hurtling toward achieving and numbing out what is deep inside of us.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: We don't have time to be bothered and we don't have time to stop and pay attention to what is begging to be heard.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: We are so busy in our shock of transition that we are full speed ahead just to survive.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: When my world fell apart in 2013, I numbed most of my life.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: It was like I sleptwalk through most of that year.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I did not take care of myself very well.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Through most of that year I did not take care of myself very well.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I was intent on surviving, and being quiet was way too noisy.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I overlooked myself to the point of being unrecognizable.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Our ghost self is chasing us in a sprint in the wrong direction.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: After several years and some deep therapy work, I've learned to slow down and be quiet.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: It takes practice and lasted maybe maybe 10 minutes the first time I tried it, but if you are tired of the sing-song and unstable pace that you're trying to keep and this transition has you in so much shock that you really can't think, I want to challenge you to find and hear and learn the sound of you.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I've got five short steps that I want you to try, and I want you to try them over the next 21 days.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Number one I want you to spend the first 20 minutes of your day in silence.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Don't check your phone, social media, email, don't listen to podcasts, play games, don't turn the TV on.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Just be quiet.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: What are your thoughts saying in that 20 minutes?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: What are you listening to yourself?
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Think about Jot it down, which is number two.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: You may journal these thoughts.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I love to journal and I find that writing them down frees up any misconceptions I might be believing.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: In other words, my brain tells me all sorts of crazy lies and I don't want to believe those.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: So if I and I and I'm a visual learner, so if I write them down, then I can actually see them.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: But if you're not a journaler, then send yourself a voice text in a note on your phone and save it.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Number three look at those statements and those thoughts that you've been thinking out loud and classify them as either true or false, because there's no sense in believing the wrong thing.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Number four spend time in prayer and or meditation.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Think about the things that are true, that are lovely, that are noble, that are, and those that are excellent.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: You will find that this changes your thought processes and it starts to clear your mind, so that then you can then start to focus on getting out of shock and moving forward.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Finally, number five the gratitude of what we are grateful for in this moment of quiet, in those 20 minutes every day.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: What are you grateful for?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I want you to try to list five things every day that you're grateful for, because this practice works to keep me from being cynical.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I can only hope and pray that it would keep you from being cynical.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Gratitude gives us the eyes to see what is keeping us from hearing ourselves Again.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Try these five steps for 21 days and see if the sound of you changed at the end of it and given you a new vision to remove yourself from the spinning wheel of life and listen to the new tune of you.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: You could be shocked by the change.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe the chorus you hear will be the one you understand.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Here's my challenge.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I would love for you to try this for 21 days and at the end of those 21 days, I want to hear how it changed.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I want you to email me at tthrash at fortitudelifecoachcom, and tell me how you started and where you ended up.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I know it's hard, but if you're going to swim against the tide to get out of survival mode, you have to learn to listen and hear the sound of you.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: That's it for this week.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being here.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: If you've gotten anything from listening to this podcast, would you please do me a favor and share it with someone who you know is walking through a transition.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Join me next week as I discuss part two of the some ones, or the some things you might need to let go.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next time.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Thank you.