Latest / The Hypnotist / The Four Walls Rule - How One Simple Boundary Can End the Most Dangerous Kind of Cocaine Addiction

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The Four Walls Rule - How One Simple Boundary Can End the Most Dangerous Kind of Cocaine Addiction · The Hypnotist

0:05
Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
0:09
access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
0:12
genuine. Issues.
0:13
Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
0:16
celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
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These recordings took place live from Adam's clinic in London's
0:24
world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
0:31
enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
0:39
Hi, it's Adam here, one of the types of.
0:43
Addictions or habits? That I've worked probably with
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more recently than any other addiction, probably close to
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alcohol, is cocaine. And the reason is that it's a
0:56
very addictive drug and it's actually quite accessible in
1:00
lots of different parts of the world.
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And the reason why it's so popular is that it gives a
1:05
particular feeling and a predictability of feeling very
1:09
quickly. And therefore it can feel like a
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tap that you can kind of turn on certain kind of sensations and
1:16
feelings with the level of high predictability.
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And that's what makes it desirable.
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Unfortunately, it does have consequences.
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A lot of people feel that they're taking future energy and
1:28
condensing it into the moment, and it's almost a psychological
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payday loan. They're paying high amounts of
1:34
interest on that extra resource that they have in that moment.
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Now, the particular client I'm working with here in this
1:41
session didn't want to not have cocaine anymore.
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They just wanted to reduce it to very specific circumstances.
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And the goal of this is to. Create walls or rules.
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That are there to give them some structure and those are things
2:01
like they never buy it, they never own it, they never hold
2:05
it, they can't keep possession of it and they can never do it
2:09
alone. And by doing those things it
2:13
they're predicting. And when they think about all
2:15
the times they've they've used in the past, they predicted it
2:17
would reduce their consumption by that 98%.
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So they probably only use it once or twice a year, if that
2:24
under these new rules. And it helps them to think about
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what can they do because they're risky time.
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What they considered would be a vulnerable time would be if
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they're in the house on their own, because in the past that
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would be a trigger for them to think, OK, I've got no work
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tomorrow. I can kind of use in this
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particular way. And this is designed to
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circumnavigate that and pre empt that by saying OK.
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The intention is this is an opportunity to break.
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The habit establish. These new rules and having
2:56
things that they can actually have lined up like a game of
2:59
golf. For example, the the following
3:01
morning reduces the probability because now there is a
3:04
consequence to their actions. Now it was created for an
3:09
individual. Therefore, some of the
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suggestions are perfect for this client and might not be quite
3:14
right for you. But if you.
3:16
Like the idea of reducing something and it might be
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cocaine, or it might be cigarettes, or it might be
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alcohol or it might be the amount of time you spend
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gambling. The essence is by having
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boundaries and parameters, you can reduce the vast majority of
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that consumption without it going entirely.
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And if you do like the idea of a bespoke session just for you,
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I'd encourage you to check out Check out the show notes where
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I've got various resources, but a couple of resources is a
3:47
suitability test that takes 60 seconds.
3:49
You'll find out if hypnosis is suitable for you and a webinar
3:53
that I've created that helps to answer a lot of the questions
3:56
that people tend to ask before they work with me.
3:58
So check them out. They're in the description of
4:01
this episode. For now, though, find a quiet,
4:04
comfortable place where you won't be distracted or
4:06
disturbed. Relax.
4:08
And enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as
4:33
you breathe in, breathe in that resourceful feeling of calm and
4:38
relaxation. And as you exhale, just allow
4:45
your eyelids to close, and as they close, feel a ripple of
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relaxation from your eyelids going down your cheeks into your
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jaw, allowing your body to exhale.
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Tensions, stress, worries, perhaps even emotional baggage
5:08
you've been holding onto. Breathing and relaxation and
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exhaling tension. And just do a quick scan of your
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body, the tiny muscles in your forehead, around your jaw, neck
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or shoulders, and give yourself permission to feel whatever you
5:37
feel. You've gone through a lot.
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Demands, news, information, worries, concerns, things within
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your control, things outside of your control.
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But right here, right now, those are simply echoes.
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Those sensations, emotions aren't needed.
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So when you breathe in, breathe in slightly deeper than you
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normally would. And as you exhale, consider it a
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release valve, letting go of any intense emotions.
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That's it. And just feel what it would feel
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like for it to be released, allowing the outward breath to
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be maybe twice as long as an inward breath, breathing in
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deeper, enabling you to exhale for longer.
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Each breath acts as a way to breathe in useful resources and
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release anything unresourceful. That's it.
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And the deeper you breathe, the more relaxed you feel.
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And the more relaxed you feel, the deeper you breathe.
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Each breath has the ability to take you deeper and deeper,
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relaxed. I don't need to think that
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progress has already been made. The fact that you're here right
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now means that something powerful within a future
7:56
different from the past to take your life on a different
8:02
trajectory. Already your mind is
8:09
recalibrating, adjusting, laying the foundations of what is to
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come. And perhaps you can imagine.
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Imagine the ocean of Clearwater, or a lake that's deep, and just
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imagine what you can feel by imagining descending under the
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water. But since this is your
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imagination, there's no need to hold your breath here.
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Imagine what you would feel like to feel the tranquility and
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calmness of being underwater and the ability to continue
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breathing deep, relaxing breaths.
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Allow your imagination to imagine what it would feel like
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if you could breathe underwater. That heart rate getting lower,
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that feeling of calm tranquility, your body making
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the most of every element of oxygen in in every cell.
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That's it. Allow the body to begin its
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preparation, that you're releasing the shoulders
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dropping, the breath finding its own unhurried rhythm, the
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surface world becoming less relevant with every exhale.
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And I need to imagine swimming deep, deep down, as I count from
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12:50. And the deeper you go in your
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imagination, the deeper into a trance it naturally and
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effortlessly becomes. 10 Deeper now. 9 beginning the descent,
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breathing in, breathing out. Eight.
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As you allow the quality of attention to turn inwards and
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downward, seven and six, the mental noise receding its depth
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increases. You've had that experience where
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you knew there was a world above the surface of the water, it
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just didn't exist in that moment.
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As five becomes 4, the body naturally adjusting to that
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feeling of almost weightlessness still held completely at ease.
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Three and two deeper still now and one.
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What if here at depth, it's where the important work
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happens, where the parts of you that don't respond to surface
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reasoning are fully present as we begin.
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I want you to get a sense that in your professional life, you
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understand something that many people don't understand.
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That in many ways the most powerful protections are not the
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ones you have to think about every time.
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They're the ones built into structure, certain rules,
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certain procedures that mean you don't have to negotiate or make
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a judgement call. The actual very structure of the
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decision means the wrong decision is unavailable rather
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than simply inadvisable. And what if the boundary we are
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installing today operates the same way?
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It's not a resolution, not a willpower commitment, and not a
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target you need to aim for each time.
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What if it becomes an internal, non negotiable structural rule
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that converts that cocaine question from how much and when
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into a question that almost never needs to be asked because
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the very conditions that trigger it have been made unavailable?
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The boundary has four walls, and your unconscious can feel each
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one settling into place. As I name it, Wall one.
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You've never used cocaine alone? What if this wall removes the
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highest risk situation entirely? The home alone evening?
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The private hours? The moment where there is no
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external structure, the internal negotiator begins its work.
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When cocaine is solitary, it covers every risk and none of
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the social contexts that created any genuine appeal back when you
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very first experienced it. It is only compulsion talking,
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and this wall where you never use cocaine alone does not
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negotiate with compulsion. It is an irrefutable immovable
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standard. And maybe you can see this wall
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the bottom of the ocean or the bottom of a lake.
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Wall 2 connected to wall one. You never buy cocaine.
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This wall removes agency from the transaction.
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When you buy, you are the initiating force.
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You are making a deliberate planned decision in a clear
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headed state that your future self will be governed by
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removing. Buying removes the deliberate
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pathway. It cannot arrive unless someone
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else brings it. So imagine now 2 walls there at
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the bottom of that water. Then let's look at wall three.
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You never own cocaine. This wall removes the stored
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risk. Ownership means availability.
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Availability at 2:00 AM when that internal negotiator is
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active and the structure is thin.
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A substance you don't own cannot be accessed alone at home
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because you would have to buy it to have it, and you don't buy
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it. These boundaries build on
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boundaries. Wall 4 you never hold cocaine
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and this wall removes even the momentary physical relationship.
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Holding creates different neurological event and
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proximity. The tactile reality of
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possession activates the using circuitry in a way that it's on
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the table does not. This wall keeps the substance at
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arm's length even in social context where it's present.
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Four walls and what they create is not a cage.
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They create a structure which the real you, the capable,
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competent, confident you can function without that cognitive
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load of having to make the decision repeatedly without
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figuring out is it OK, what happens next?
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The decision has already been made, the structure holds it.
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I will say these four walls in the first person and allow your
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inner dialogue to repeat them in your voice, in your tonality,
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like they're planting seeds. Each seed, each wall creates a
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solid structure that enhances your future and protects you.
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I don't use alone. I don't buy, I don't own, I
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don't hold. And I want you to interpret
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these not as resolutions, not even as rules.
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No need to renew them each day. Consider these facts about who
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you are. And I want you to see there, at
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the bottom of that ocean or lake, the walls shift and morph
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until they become walls of your own home, and your unconscious
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knows the specific texture of the vulnerable evening.
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Perhaps better than any other single situation, the particular
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combination of conditions that has historically opened the
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door. Home alone, no work, commitment,
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tomorrow, privacy, confidentiality, and somewhere
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in the background the awareness that a contact exists, that a
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decision could be made, and that no one is watching.
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This combination is not random. It is the precise intersection
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of opportunity, privacy, the absence of natural consequence
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structure. And you're unconscious has
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mapped it clearly, which means your unconscious can also
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redesign it because here is what changes with the boundary in
21:16
place. The question is no longer will I
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use tonight. The question becomes, what am I
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doing with this evening and what am I doing tomorrow morning that
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matters? I want you to imagine, perhaps
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in your diary, your calendar, or just in your mind, a time when
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you know in advance you're going to have the home to yourself, no
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one else there. And I want you to imagine
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setting an intention of what to do that evening and what to do
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the morning after. Maybe it's free diving in a
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nearby lake there in the morning.
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Maybe it's golf with someone that used to use and doesn't
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anymore. They will know the exact clues
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that would give away if you've used or not.
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I want you to think about what you could use that time that's
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available for that requires focus, energy, attention.
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Maybe it's a woodworking project.
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Maybe. Maybe it's planning or preparing
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something. Maybe it's making something like
23:03
a watch trap. I'll need to think that if you
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know a few days in advance that you will have that time, imagine
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setting the attention ahead of time so you know that you
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already have something to do. You have something to do in the
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evening, and you have something to do the following morning, and
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your unconscious can begin to feel what happens when the
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evening is structured differently.
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The particular quality of an evening spent in the workshop, a
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piece coming together, the satisfaction of skill applied
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and the completeness of a thing made.
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Dopamine comes from accomplishing something, and you
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can play different scenarios in your mind that would feel
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challenging, rewarding, the kind of thing that you wouldn't
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regret the day after, you would feel proud of.
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These evenings are not sacrifices or consolation
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prizes, and they're certainly not substitutes for something
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more exciting. They are, in their own right,
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genuinely better evenings because they lead somewhere,
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they set a precedent, they break old neural pathways and form new
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ones. And they leave something behind.
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Because the very next day, when you wake up, you wake up with
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more confidence, self trust and self belief that you are
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becoming the person you want to be and are capable of becoming.
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And when you find yourself home alone with no morning
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commitment, your first move, the power move, is to create 1.
25:29
You create the commitment, even if it's a commitment with
25:32
yourself. You protect the evening by
25:37
giving tomorrow a reason. To be clear.
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Let's explore 2 futures now, because your unconscious has a
25:51
remarkable capacity that is rarely used deliberately.
25:58
The ability to travel along a timeline that has not yet
26:02
happened. Humans do this all the time.
26:10
Anxiety and excitement are when people imagine a future and the
26:19
body acts as if it's real. So let's experience the future
26:28
with sufficient vividness and realism that the body responds
26:33
as if it were real. And for the purpose of what the
26:39
nervous system learns, it effectively is real.
26:46
So let's explore 2 timelines today, not as a thought
26:52
experiment or an intellectual exercise, but as a felt journey.
27:00
Your unconscious will show you both, and your body will know
27:05
the difference between them in a way that will be available when
27:09
choices arrive. So let's explore timeline one,
27:19
where you create a boundary and then violate it.
27:26
Certain agreements you make with yourself and then you break
27:29
them. And I want you to allow this
27:34
timeline to unfold honestly, because the honest version is
27:40
already significant. I want you to think that over
27:48
the next six months, you had the intention of only ever using
27:58
with friends, never buying, never owning.
28:03
But you violated it. And maybe the ones every two
28:12
weeks, or perhaps even more frequently has crept back.
28:18
The reduced number felt like progress, but without the
28:20
boundary structure, those high risk evenings began to
28:26
accumulate again. Maybe it started with positive
28:32
intentions, scheduling a game of golf on a Saturday morning and
28:40
then coming up with a plausible, credible excuse and just not
28:44
showing, setting the intention to go free diving and then
28:51
sleeping through it. And I want you to imagine seeing
28:58
yourself like you're someone else.
29:05
Boundaries created, boundaries violated.
29:11
And maybe you see that you're still getting away with it.
29:14
And maybe after a year, imagine an incident, perhaps linked to
29:26
embarrassment, shame. Maybe it damages your
29:31
reputation, your credibility. Maybe it dilutes goodwill.
29:42
Maybe it's a miscommitment that matters, a relationship you
29:47
value being tarnished. A moment where someone looked at
29:53
you with an expression you recognized and you didn't want
29:57
to see that. Embarrassment, disappointment,
30:03
annoyance. The close calls have had a
30:08
companion or two. Imagine the face of someone that
30:15
you love the most and loves you. Imagine a conversation happening
30:22
that feels brutal, scary, daunting.
30:30
Maybe there's no ultimatums yet, or maybe there is, but I want
30:36
you to feel that sometimes things can change and never
30:40
quite get back to where they were before.
30:47
I want you to imagine the faces of your children, where they
30:52
discover something only because you violated your own boundary.
31:03
The perception they have of you in this timeline has changed.
31:11
Perhaps less pride and more of something else.
31:17
Less respect and more of something else.
31:22
I want you to feel where in your body you would feel that.
31:28
The feeling like you've let someone down, you've let
31:35
yourself down. I want you to see in this
31:43
timeline progress that could have been made in free diving or
31:50
hobbies. Career hasn't quite met the
31:58
potential it was capable of. Maybe a legacy that you were
32:06
building is being sabotaged in this timeline because you're
32:17
violating your own boundary. And maybe in this future it's
32:30
filled with hairline fractures. Or maybe your intuition shows
32:37
you something broken that can never be fixed.
32:43
Health, relationship, career, whatever your unconscious
32:50
reveals to you is because your unconscious believes that is
32:55
possible. In a future where you violate
33:01
those four walls, I want you to step into that future version of
33:10
you and feel how you would feel to feel.
33:18
Feel a sense of regret, disappointment, frustration, and
33:31
perhaps wait for a thought. A thought of if only I could go
33:42
back and change it. If that thought appears, let me
33:49
know by nodding your head. So let's go back and try that
34:02
different timeline. I want you to see how things are
34:12
different in the version of view that creates the boundary,
34:19
maintains the boundary, respects the boundary.
34:26
Imagine observing that first evening alone, and you do set an
34:33
intention to use that time. Observe yourself doing it,
34:39
making something, accomplishing something.
34:44
See yourself sleeping well, a look of pride on your face, and
34:51
then see that version of you that wakes up the next morning.
34:57
And maybe you do go free diving or do play that golf, but there
35:02
is a different posture, a different facial expression.
35:10
I want you to have maybe a sense of respect, pride or admiration
35:16
for that version of you that is doing something that isn't easy
35:22
but is valuable. See how weeks turn into months.
35:32
Maybe you've seen 6-7 or eight months where the boundary has
35:36
held through those high risk evenings.
35:41
Normally in the past they could have led to solitary use, but in
35:48
this timeline they don't. And not through white knuckled
35:55
willpower and struggle. A version of you that each time
36:05
you respected and enforced the boundary, it got easier and
36:10
easier. Neural pathways became more
36:14
dominant, became the default, and in this timeline, see what
36:21
you were able to accomplish in your career, what you're able to
36:29
do with your free time, progress made in different hobbies and
36:35
pursuits. See a version of you that seems
36:40
to be living with a new lease of life, springing your step.
36:50
More self trust, more self-confidence, liberated from
36:56
any feelings of what if. And see, that feeling has been
37:05
accumulating a felt sense of yourself as someone who keeps
37:12
your own commitments. No one's forcing you to do this.
37:17
You're choosing to do it. That's why you get the emotional
37:20
payoff and that quality that's invisible to others.
37:28
It changes how you move through the world in ways you can't
37:33
quite articulate, but you can feel, see incrementally how life
37:44
gets better. And maybe there is once or twice
37:48
a year that you do use, but you use while respecting, respecting
37:56
those four walls, those boundaries.
38:01
It's not yours. It's definitely social.
38:06
You never bought it, you never held it.
38:09
And I want you to get a sense that your usage has reduced 95%
38:18
or more. All of those high risk
38:25
behaviours disappeared to almost nothing, and because you do it
38:34
only in very specific circumstances, the risk of any
38:40
reputation damage is negligible. I want you to see an enhanced
38:50
relationship with your partner and enhance relationship with
38:58
your children because when people act in accordance with
39:04
their values, integrity, confidence, self trust all
39:13
amplify. And I want you to imagine five
39:18
years now and compare each timeline side by side.
39:26
The version of you that violated this boundary and the version of
39:32
you that respected this boundary.
39:36
It might be night and day, chalk and cheese, but if you're
39:41
unconscious, knows which you would prefer, and is happy to
39:49
update all internal resources to align with the future you desire
39:54
most, let me know by nodding your head.
40:03
That's it. Minor setbacks are just minor
40:10
setbacks, but if the boundary is violated consistently, the walls
40:22
come crumbling down and I want you.
40:26
To see the future where the walls remain solid, an enhanced
40:32
future, more pride, more success, more accomplishments,
40:38
thriving in these creative areas, these physical
40:41
endeavours, a whole new level of life is unlocked.
40:49
Consider this planting a seed of an idea, and you can water that
40:55
seed. Well, you can ignore that seed
40:59
and let it die in the ground. Your future is directly
41:05
proportionate to how you nurture your intention.
41:13
It's time to leave this place. But you leave with a sense of
41:18
clarity, perhaps a desire to do something symbolic that
41:26
solidifies these new boundaries. So imagine.
41:35
Imagine leaving those four walls at the bottom of the ocean or
41:38
the lake floating up to the surface.
41:43
And as you float up to the surface, take all of the changes
41:46
with you. New sense of clarity, boundaries
41:55
with absolute knowledge that if these walls do come crumbling
42:01
down, your hand may be forced to completely eliminate something
42:11
that may still be possible if the walls remain standing as you
42:19
float back to the surface. Then imagine floating back from
42:23
the surface to your physical body.
42:25
Right now. Take a deep breath in through
42:30
your nose and down through your nose.
42:35
Wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes.
42:37
Connect and calibrate into the here and the now as I now count
42:43
from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
42:47
Starting to count 123 waking up 456 more alert 7-8.
42:55
Open your eyes. Open your eyes 910.
42:58
Wide awake. Wide awake.
43:02
Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me
43:14
on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
43:17
If you've enjoyed this episode or got some value from it,
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please. Give it a 5 star.
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And if you would like to listen to this episode where it's just
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the hypnosis. So no.
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Intro No outro. No explanation, just the
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hypnosis. And completely AD.
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Free. There will be a link in the
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description where. You can subscribe at a very low
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To the hypnosis, so if that's of interest please check.
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That out. Thank you again for being a
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regular listener of the hypnotist, and I'll see.
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You again soon for more.