Latest / ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women / 127 // ADHD, Worth & Identity: Will I Ever Feel Like I'm Enough?

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127 // ADHD, Worth & Identity: Will I Ever Feel Like I'm Enough? · ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women

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  Maybe you felt this feeling before, that awful feeling of, am I doing enough?
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  Or am I enough? Or is this good enough?
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  And my question for you in those moments is, enough for what? Or enough for?
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  Hey friends, welcome to the ADHD with Confidence podcast. I'm excited for today's episode.
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  We're going to be talking about how do we know that we are enough and that we
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  are doing enough as women with ADHD.
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  I think a lot of us struggle with perfectionism, with high expectations for
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  ourselves, with that fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of disappointing others and ourselves.
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  And this feeling of, you know, am I doing enough? Am I good enough?
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  It can be so exhausting and it can taint every experience, every part of our lives.
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  We can wonder, you know, am I doing a good enough job as a parent?
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  Am I doing a good enough job at work or on a presentation?
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  Or we can wonder, are we a good enough friend, spouse,
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  daughter, sister, whatever it is, This feeling
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  can just eat away at us and it can make us feel really uncertain and discontent
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  and we can distrust ourselves or sometimes the lack of trust in ourselves can
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  lead to this feeling of not being good enough or feeling like we're not doing enough.
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  So in today's episode, I want to talk about how can we learn to be confident
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  about who we are and about what we are doing, for lack of a better word,
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  our contributions to the world.
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  I don't like saying that because I don't want to focus on your worth coming
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  from what you accomplish because it does not.
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  And so I think I have a few suggestions here, but I think it's really important
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  when you are in those moments of feeling like, am I enough?
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  Am I doing enough? Am I doing a good enough job? So maybe it's,
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  you know, when you're parenting, am I parenting my kids well enough?
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  Am I teaching them well enough?
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  Am I doing a good enough job? The questions I want you to ask are enough for
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  what? Or enough for whom?
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  Where is the standard coming from? Where is this coming from?
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  And to what end and I think with some things it's going to be a little bit more
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  obvious for me one that I feel kind of silly lately asking myself but it has come up,
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  As I feel like, you know, I'm, you know, getting to my later 30s,
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  my skin, you know, is not as the way it was the way it was before.
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  And I'm sure when I'm 60, I will laugh at myself looking back at this.
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  But I have asked myself, am I pretty enough?
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  Do I look good enough? And when I ask myself, for what?
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  For whom? it it really helps
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  me to recognize that I think a lot of the times when we
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  ask ourselves am I enough or am I doing enough it's
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  because we're pointing in the wrong direction we're looking in the wrong direction
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  for affirmation for somebody to tell us that we're doing a good enough job and
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  it won't matter how much I chase after those things how much you chase after
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  those things they will never satisfy.
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  Those are never going to be what fulfill us and what bring us the contentment
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  and peace because who does set that standard?
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  And at the end of the day, what do we think we're going to achieve with that?
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  So in today's episode, I just wanted to give you a few suggestions here.
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  So if you are struggling with those questions of, am I enough?
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  Am I doing enough? Am I doing a good enough job, the first, the most important
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  thing I want you to start with is by recognizing that you already are enough.
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  Regardless of what you're going to do or what you have done,
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  you already are enough. And you might be asking, okay, well, enough for what?
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  You are enough, as you are right now, to be called a daughter of God.
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  You are enough to be chosen and to be loved.
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  You are enough that God sent his son to die in your place so that he could spend eternity with you.
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  You are enough for that exactly as you are.
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  And that's not dependent on what you do or don't do or how well you do or don't do it.
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  You are enough to be called, to be chosen, and to be loved. Yes,
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  you need to accept that invitation.
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  Yes, you need to walk in God's plan for your life and, you know,
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  work on relationship and have Jesus in your heart.
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  That is all a part of it as well. It can't just be, you know,
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  kind of a backseat, like God wants to be a part of your life,
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  but you are already enough to be chosen and invited into that.
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  You are chosen and you are called to a greater purpose of serving in God's kingdom.
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  And knowing that we are enough, that doesn't mean that we should just sit around and do nothing.
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  Not at all. I mean, it talks in the Bible, you know, faith without works is
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  dead. And I'll get into those verses in a second.
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  But I think it's important to start with a place of really coming to understand
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  that our worth does not change.
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  That we are enough as we are. It's a much more confident place to operate out
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  of so that when you have the highs of, you know, feeling like you accomplished something great,
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  when you come back down off of those highs, you're not gonna dip so low thinking
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  that your worth came from that accomplishment.
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  Or when you feel like you've failed at something, or you haven't done something
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  the way that you were hoping to, it won't devastate you the same way when you
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  know that as you are without those things, you are already enough.
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  Some of the verses that I wanted to share with you here.
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  So after we realize that we're enough, the second part that I believe we need
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  to look at is, God says we're enough, but he also calls us to serve in his kingdom.
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  And his kind of purpose for this is that He wants to grow us in our faith.
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  He wants to grow closer with us.
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  And so part of that is going to mean, you know, stepping out in faith when we're
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  not sure if God told us exactly what was going to happen, it wouldn't require any faith at all.
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  And so I think it's important for us to recognize that the first step is knowing our worth.
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  The second step now is trusting God and His calling.
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  What is He calling you to? Because I think sometimes when we say, you know.
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  Am I doing enough or am I enough? I think a part of it can have to do with the
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  fact that we do feel called to something bigger than ourselves.
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  We do feel called to something that feels meaningful and purposeful.
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  We want to have that in our lives. I believe we have that deeply rooted and built into us.
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  And so once you know you are enough, I think you're able to then step out in
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  confidence of trusting God and what He's calling you to.
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  And it's one step at a time. You're not going to know exactly what's going to happen.
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  I mean, I look at starting this podcast, for example, I felt like God called me to that.
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  And at first I didn't know. I didn't know how to start.
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  I didn't know what exactly that looked like. I didn't know what was going to
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  happen from week to week or month to month, you know?
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  And even still, I'm still on that journey of,
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  you know learning and growing and trusting
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  God and trusting his calling in my life to help
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  women with ADHD to recognize the
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  beauty of who they are and how they've been created on purpose and that God
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  has a purpose for their life and that you know I think it's so cool that I get
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  to be a part of helping them hopefully recognize that and step into that and
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  find that peace that contentment and that confidence.
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  Because when we follow God's calling in our lives, we're going to feel more content.
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  We're going to feel more confident in who we are designed to be and truly recognize
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  that we are not made wrong.
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  Maybe the world, according to their definitions, they don't like it.
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  Maybe sometimes if we interrupt or we seem impulsive or the fact that we have
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  all these different ideas going on. But guess what?
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  God is not the world. He has a very different perspective of things,
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  and I would rather live in accordance with what He has for my life than what
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  people in this world want me to think or say or do.
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  Another example that I was looking at here—.
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  I think when we look at the parable of the talents in the Bible in Matthew,
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  it talks about how, you know, the parable essentially is saying God has given
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  us these different gifts, these resources, and these abilities.
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  And in this parable, the master has given his servants its money.
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  And so the first two, they invest it, and they gain double what they were given.
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  And so the master comes back, and he gives them even more. He says,
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  I can trust you with this little bit. I'm going to give you even more.
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  The last one, though, was afraid. He was scared.
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  He didn't want to do anything. So he hid the money and just gave it back to
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  the master. He said, I don't want this.
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  I'm scared of you. I'm scared. I'm going to screw it up. I don't want to have any part of this.
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  And the master said, you know, you have not been faithful with what I've given you.
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  And so now I am going to take this away. And so my point here is that I believe
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  God has given us each abilities and gifts and talents and passions that are
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  supposed to be used to serve in His kingdom,
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  to serve God, to love others.
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  And I think so often we can get caught in this fear and this perfectionism of
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  wondering, is this enough?
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  Is this good enough? And it can stop us from doing anything at all.
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  It can stop us from stepping out because we believe these lies of who am I to
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  do this or our lack of trust in ourselves, but also our lack of trust in God.
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  And so I want to kind of end this episode today with thinking about when you
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  are struggling with feeling, you know, are you enough?
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  Are you doing enough? Is it good enough? I want you to ask yourself for what and for whom?
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  And I want you to change the lens of what?
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  Whether it's enough, whether it's good enough. And instead of looking through
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  the world's lens, instead of looking, you know, to the way the world would qualify,
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  whether you're good enough, I want you to look at what God would say.
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  And it's so encouraging to know that He's not expecting us to be perfect.
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  He knows we're not perfect. That's why He sent His Son to die in our place so
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  that we could spend eternity with Him because He wants relationship with us.
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  But we are. we are broken we mess up
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  and that's a normal part of life i think a part of this
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  as well is recognizing that and this part
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  is very challenging for me because i like to have control but
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  recognizing that we don't have control we cannot
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  do it ourselves and i think a very humbling part of this is that as much as
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  i say we are enough enough to be loved enough to be chosen we are also not enough
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  on our own to spend eternity with God.
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  We needed that sanctification that Jesus provided by dying on that cross.
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  We need His help in order to be able to spend our lives with God.
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  And it's very humbling to recognize, like I look at my own life and just poor
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  choices that I've made and things that I've messed up and recognizing that, you know what.
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  Yeah, I didn't do the things that I wish I would have, but I am able to be redeemed
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  and I'm able to start over again. There's grace, there's forgiveness.
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  And so when you're struggling with feeling like, are you enough?
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  Instead of turning to the world, instead of turning to your accomplishments,
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  I want you to turn to Jesus.
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  And after you've done that, when you recognize that you are enough for that
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  relationship, then out of that confidence and that knowledge,
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  I want you to step out to take those gifts,
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  those talents, those things that God's blessed you with and use them to serve in His kingdom.
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  It is going to be so much more satisfying that way.
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  And I think it really can help us to take the focus off of ourselves as well and ask, hey God,
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  how can I be a part of your kingdom and
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  serve in your kingdom and love others and help others and
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  it is just so much more satisfying than
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  focusing on ourselves and just
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  what we need so i hope there's been something that's been helpful for you in
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  this something that's been encouraging for you in this if you are struggling
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  with asking those questions of am i doing enough am i enough i want you to start
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  with the knowledge that you already are enough. Bring it to God.
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  Bring your servant heart to Him and work on asking Him to bring you that contentment
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  and that peace and that ability to be able to rest in knowing that you are already enough.
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  I look forward to being here with you guys next time. And until then, God bless.