Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Handle a Team Mismatch After Hiring
Transcript
- Lucas: So, Luna, we've hit episode 150 of this show, and I wanted to do something a little different. Instead of a classic 'here's how to handle X' episode, let's dive into a situation that I think every new manager dreads but almost nobody talks about. Luna: What's that? Lucas: You've made a hire. Six months in, you realize they're just not the right fit. Not because they're incompetent, but because they're wrong for the team. That's a specific, painful kind of 'uh-oh' that rarely gets airtime. Luna: Ooh, that's a good one. I've been there. It's like a knot in your stomach every time you get an email from them. Lucas: Exactly. And it's especially brutal for a first-time manager because you're second-guessing your own judgment. So let's use a concrete case. I was talking to a product manager at a fintech startup, let's call her Priya. She hired a senior engineer named Dan. Dan had a flawless technical resume, ten years at a big bank, great interviews. Luna: So what went wrong? Lucas: Priya's team is all about pair programming and collaborative code reviews. Dan preferred to work solo, crank out a massive pull request at the end of the week, and get defensive when anyone suggested changes. He was also pretty blunt in meetings. By month five, two team members had come to Priya privately saying they dreaded working with him. Luna: So it's a culture clash, not a skills gap. Lucas: Right. And that's the first thing to diagnose. Is it a skills gap, where they can't do the job? Or is it a values gap, where they can do the job but in a way that undermines how your team operates? Those require completely different responses. Luna: And too often, new managers treat a values gap like a skills gap and try to coach them through it, which just doesn't work. Lucas: Yeah, coaching can fix a skill gap, but a values gap is about alignment. You can't coach someone into valuing collaboration if they fundamentally believe their way is better. So step one: name the gap for yourself. Write down what's actually not working. Is it behavioral, or is it technical? And be brutally honest. Luna: What did Priya do? Lucas: She initially tried to give Dan feedback, but she was too vague. She said things like 'be more collaborative' without specifics. So Dan just shrugged and kept doing his thing. That's a common mistake — feedback that's too fluffy to act on. Luna: So what's the concrete fix? Lucas: You need to get specific. Instead of 'be more collaborative,' say, 'In the last two sprints, you didn't request a single code review from anyone else, and when you got feedback on your PR, you pushed back on every comment. I need you to schedule at least two pairing sessions per week and to respond to feedback with a 'thank you' before we discuss alternatives.' That's something they can actually do. Luna: And then you set a timeline. You can't just give that feedback and hope for the best. Lucas: Exactly. Give them a defined improvement period — say, four to six weeks. Set specific, measurable goals. But here's the thing, Luna, you also need to be clear with yourself about what you're going to do if they don't improve. Because if you go into that conversation without a plan, you'll just keep kicking the can down the road. Luna: And that's where it gets really hard for a new manager. You're afraid of being the bad guy. Lucas: Totally. But the cost of doing nothing is huge. The rest of the team sees that you're tolerating behavior that goes against the team's values, and they start to disengage. I've seen it happen. Priya's team started to lose faith in her leadership because they felt like she wasn't protecting the culture. Luna: So what's the right move? Coach, transfer, or exit? Lucas: That's the framework. You need to assess: is this person a good fit for the company, just not this team? If they're a brilliant engineer who just hates collaboration, maybe they'd thrive on a more independent project. That's a legitimate option — a transfer. But that's a conversation you need to have with your HR partner early on. Luna: And if there's no transfer available? Lucas: Then you have to consider exit. And that's tough for a new manager because it feels like a personal failure. But here's the reframe: keeping someone who's miserable in a role that doesn't fit them is actually worse for them. They're stressed, the team is stressed, and you're all tiptoeing around it. A respectful separation is often the kindest thing. Luna: But you also have to look at your own hiring process. How did you miss this? Lucas: That's the second hard question. Priya later admitted she was so impressed by Dan's technical chops that she didn't probe much on how he worked with others. She asked 'tell me about a time you disagreed with a colleague' and he gave a perfectly fine answer, but she never asked for a reference from a peer. That would have been the quickest way to spot the red flag. Luna: So peer references are a must for roles that are highly collaborative. Lucas: Absolutely. Also, a work-sample test. Have them do a real task with your team for a day. Some startups do paid trial weeks. That would have surfaced Dan's style pretty quickly. Luna: That's a great point. But what if you're already past that point? What's your advice for a manager who's sitting here right now, realizing they have a Dan? Lucas: First, don't panic. You're not alone. Second, have that honest conversation with your manager or your HR partner. Don't hide it. They can help you navigate the process, and they may see options you don't. Third, be transparent with the employee. No one likes being blindsided. Luna: And that conversation is tough. How do you even start it? Lucas: I'd start with something like, 'I want to be honest with you. I've noticed some gaps between how you work and how we operate as a team, and I take responsibility for not making that clearer sooner. Here's what I'm seeing...' That opens the door without blaming them. Luna: That's really smart. It also shows you're owning your part. Lucas: And that's crucial. New managers often make the mistake of making it all about the employee's failings. But you hired them, you onboarded them, you set the expectations. Owning that creates a sense of fairness and makes the conversation more productive. Luna: Okay, so to tie this back to the listener's real life: you've done the diagnosis, you've had the conversation, you've set the improvement plan. What happens at the end of the four to six weeks? Lucas: You have to be consistent. If they've met the goals, great. If they've partially met them, you can extend the plan, but with a clear 'this is the last extension.' And if they haven't, you have to make the call. It's not fair to keep dragging it out. Luna: And that's the moment where a lot of new managers freeze. Lucas: It is. But I think it helps to remember why you're doing this. It's not about being mean. It's about protecting the team's ability to do great work, and it's about giving this person a chance to find a role where they can actually thrive. You're doing them a favor in the long run. Luna: That's a good way to think about it. And speaking of doing a favor, Lucas, I know we talk a lot about this show being ad-free and how that's important to us. And it's only possible because a small group of listeners chip in a few bucks a month. Lucas: Yeah, that's right. If we've helped you navigate a tricky career moment, and you want to help us keep making these episodes for free for everyone, you can support the show at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's low-key, but it genuinely keeps the lights on. Luna: And we really appreciate it. But back to the hard stuff — because I want to end on something that I think is really important. What about the emotional toll on you as a manager? You're basically saying goodbye to someone you invested in. Lucas: It's real. It's a grieving process. You're mourning the hire you thought you made. But it's also a learning experience. Every bad hire teaches you something about your team and about yourself as a manager. The key is to extract that lesson and carry it forward. Luna: I think that's the perfect note to end on. Thanks for being so open about this, Lucas. Lucas: Anytime. And for all the new managers out there, remember: you're not alone in this. It's a messy part of the job, but you can handle it.