Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / Episode 43: Alex Williamson, Chief Brand Officer Bumble

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Episode 43: Alex Williamson, Chief Brand Officer Bumble · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:01
Speaker 1: Hey, hurdlers.
0:02
Speaker 2: Emily Abadi here, you're listening to episode forty three of Hurdle,
0:05
Speaker 2: a podcast that talks to everyone from top CEOs and
0:08
Speaker 2: entrepreneurs to athletes about how they got through a tough
0:11
Speaker 2: time in their life hurdles of sorts by leaning into wellness.
0:15
Speaker 2: It's really crazy the hire these numbers get. It's like
0:18
Speaker 2: my little baby is growing up today. I'm chatting with
0:22
Speaker 2: Alex Williamson, she's the chief brand officer at Bumble. Before
0:28
Speaker 2: we get to that, quick shout out to my sponsor,
0:30
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0:43
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0:45
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0:48
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Speaker 2: Just head on over to Athleticgreens dot com slash Hurdle
1:02
Speaker 2: to acclaim it. No code necessary again, that's Athleticgreens dot
1:06
Speaker 2: com slash hurdle. Now let's talk about Alex. This woman
1:11
Speaker 2: is impressive, just say the least. We were able to
1:14
Speaker 2: catch up when I was in Austin last week, and
1:16
Speaker 2: it felt super timely being that it was the day
1:19
Speaker 2: before Valentine's Day in February this month, that everyone's just
1:23
Speaker 2: in touch with their feelings and talking about love and
1:26
Speaker 2: what better time to talk to someone from Bumble. She's
1:29
Speaker 2: got a super interesting story. You know, She's faced a
1:31
Speaker 2: lot of hurdles in her life. She talked to me
1:34
Speaker 2: about when they found out that her mother had breast cancer.
1:36
Speaker 2: We talk about how her life changed forever when she
1:39
Speaker 2: was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and how she deals with that
1:41
Speaker 2: on a regular basis.
1:43
Speaker 1: And she also talks to me about her recent divorce.
1:46
Speaker 2: And I think what's so special about this episode is
1:49
Speaker 2: that Alex and I really got into a lot of
1:50
Speaker 2: stuff that enabled us both to be just really vulnerable
1:54
Speaker 2: with each other.
1:55
Speaker 1: A lot of people have some kind.
1:56
Speaker 2: Of feeling about what you're doing with your life in
1:59
Speaker 2: the age of social media, and especially when it comes
2:02
Speaker 2: to relationships. Me being in my early thirties single. I
2:06
Speaker 2: get asked all the time, you know, are you worried
2:09
Speaker 2: about meeting someone? What's dating like in New York? Are
2:12
Speaker 2: you thinking about freezing your eggs? These are such personal
2:15
Speaker 2: questions and the reality is is that the most important thing,
2:18
Speaker 2: and Alex and I agree about this in the episode,
2:21
Speaker 2: is that you get to a place where you're really
2:23
Speaker 2: proud of who you are. And until you're at that place,
2:26
Speaker 2: until you're comfortable with yourself, then you're not going to
2:29
Speaker 2: be able to give to a partner, to give to
2:32
Speaker 2: another person. It's so good to be a kind person.
2:35
Speaker 2: It's so good to be proud of yourself, and it's
2:37
Speaker 2: really special to get to a place where you're not
2:40
Speaker 2: only confident in what you have to offer to a partner,
2:42
Speaker 2: but then also in business and everywhere else in your life.
2:45
Speaker 2: There are a lot of really great takeaways from this episode,
2:47
Speaker 2: So please as you listen, post your favorites to Instagram
2:50
Speaker 2: and Twitter and Facebook and all the places, and I'll
2:53
Speaker 2: definitely make sure to repost them from the Hurdle account.
2:56
Speaker 2: You guys know the drill at Hurdle podcast on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram.
3:00
Speaker 1: Feel free to hit me up.
3:01
Speaker 2: Emily at Hurdle dot us and email if you have
3:04
Speaker 2: a Hurdle.
3:05
Speaker 1: Moment you want to share or just want to say hi.
3:07
Speaker 2: And I'm really trying to get back on this newsletter groove,
3:10
Speaker 2: so head on over to let us. When you get there,
3:13
Speaker 2: there'll be a pop up for you to put your
3:14
Speaker 2: email in and that way we'll be able to stay
3:16
Speaker 2: in touch just a little bit more often in your inbox.
3:20
Speaker 2: And that's it for now. With that, let's get to Hurdling.
3:33
Speaker 2: I'm sitting here today with Alex Williamson. She's the chief
3:36
Speaker 2: brand officer at Bumble.
3:38
Speaker 1: Hi.
3:39
Speaker 2: Hi, We're in Austin, which is great. Yeah, I'm so
3:43
Speaker 2: happy to be here with you today. And I feel
3:44
Speaker 2: like this is super timely because we're recording this pre
3:47
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day, but it's going to come out right after
3:50
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day.
3:51
Speaker 1: So what better person to sit down with and.
3:54
Speaker 3: What better place to be than Austin for Valentine's Day
3:57
Speaker 3: is one of my favorite cities.
3:59
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm not here enough.
4:00
Speaker 3: I travel so much, so when I get to come here,
4:03
Speaker 3: it feels like a breath of fresh air being back
4:04
Speaker 3: in Austin.
4:05
Speaker 2: Same on the travel A lot note so a little bit.
4:10
Speaker 2: I'll have to make sure to give myself a little
4:11
Speaker 2: bit of self love. I'm not going to be I'm
4:13
Speaker 2: not going to be swiping on the bumble while I'm.
4:14
Speaker 4: Here though, Why not?
4:16
Speaker 1: No, I don't you know, don't need a quick swipe.
4:19
Speaker 3: Okay, I get that, don't need a quick swipe, But
4:21
Speaker 3: I have ended up dating people who I've I've crossed
4:25
Speaker 3: paths with, you know, through bumble meeting just being in
4:28
Speaker 3: the same city. Yeah, so I think that you sometimes
4:31
Speaker 3: we think a quick swipe is just that, but it
4:33
Speaker 3: can turn into something more.
4:35
Speaker 1: I love the term quick swipe.
4:37
Speaker 4: That's news.
4:38
Speaker 2: I don't need a quick swipe aka possibly a one
4:42
Speaker 2: night thing.
4:42
Speaker 1: I get that.
4:43
Speaker 3: I think that really what it comes down to for
4:46
Speaker 3: all women. And part of what we're trying to do
4:49
Speaker 3: is to change the conversation and change the narrative around
4:52
Speaker 3: women's dating lives and what it means to be in
4:54
Speaker 3: relationships and how those unfold for each person individually. And
4:57
Speaker 3: I think that if you need a quick swipe to say,
5:00
Speaker 3: and you don't feel shame about that, then that's more
5:04
Speaker 3: power to you, you know. But if that doesn't, like,
5:07
Speaker 3: if that doesn't work for your soul and that doesn't
5:09
Speaker 3: make you feel good at the end of the day,
5:10
Speaker 3: then do something that does, like reevaluate and only make
5:13
Speaker 3: decisions that are good for you.
5:15
Speaker 2: So talk to me a little bit about what chief
5:17
Speaker 2: brand officer really means.
5:20
Speaker 4: Oh, I'd love to talk to you about that.
5:21
Speaker 3: So I started with Bumble before we launched, and I
5:26
Speaker 3: actually joined the team. There were four of us, including
5:29
Speaker 3: our CEO and founder. We worked out of a group
5:31
Speaker 3: text and my role was originally to be a three
5:35
Speaker 3: month contract employee to launch Bumble Dallas, and within three
5:41
Speaker 3: weeks I was doing all of the social all of
5:44
Speaker 3: the content, and all of the brand copy. Early on
5:47
Speaker 3: in Bumble, we really gained a following of women. But
5:50
Speaker 3: here's what we were doing. We were launching a dating app,
5:53
Speaker 3: and dating apps at the time were synonymous with hookup
5:56
Speaker 3: and women had had negative experiences on them, and so
5:59
Speaker 3: we were trying to get women to be a part
6:01
Speaker 3: of being on a dating app, which was not cool.
6:05
Speaker 3: It was something that you were hiding, you know, hiding
6:07
Speaker 3: on the last page of your phone, scrolling through at
6:09
Speaker 3: eleven at night, if you were using a dating app
6:11
Speaker 3: at the times, they had a really negative connotation so
6:13
Speaker 3: we're saying this is cool, you're going to like it,
6:16
Speaker 3: trust us, but also you're going to have to make
6:18
Speaker 3: the first move, and that totally goes against the norm
6:20
Speaker 3: for women up to that point. You know, four years ago,
6:24
Speaker 3: women weren't making the first move, and some women were,
6:27
Speaker 3: and that's incredible, but that wasn't the norm. That wasn't
6:30
Speaker 3: the expectation that was placed on women by society, and
6:32
Speaker 3: so we were having to counteract both of that, and
6:35
Speaker 3: in order to do that, we went out of the
6:37
Speaker 3: gate with a very vulnerable and authentic brand. We were
6:42
Speaker 3: talking about our relationships, and I think that's what's made
6:45
Speaker 3: me so comfortable to talk about my life experience, is
6:47
Speaker 3: that bumble. In the beginning, the voice was pretty much
6:50
Speaker 3: changing I to we, and those were stories of my
6:53
Speaker 3: own dating life, my own feelings, my own thoughts about
6:55
Speaker 3: being a single woman in my twenties, just trying to
6:58
Speaker 3: navigate it and navigate feeling and taking ownership over my life,
7:04
Speaker 3: my choices, and my dating life in particular, but also
7:07
Speaker 3: all of the women around me stories, and so it
7:10
Speaker 3: became this real collective feeling, and I think that it
7:13
Speaker 3: was one of the one of we were a different
7:16
Speaker 3: brands because there really weren't any like female centric tech
7:19
Speaker 3: brands at the time, but also that we're talking to
7:21
Speaker 3: women that sounded like women, and it's because it was
7:24
Speaker 3: run by women.
7:25
Speaker 1: And I have to ask you, what did you go
7:27
Speaker 1: to college for.
7:28
Speaker 4: I went to college.
7:29
Speaker 3: I actually majored in film film and at the time,
7:33
Speaker 3: and I wanted to be in film. Never in a
7:35
Speaker 3: millionaires did I think that I would be working in tech.
7:37
Speaker 3: But as my role has evolved, so chief brand officer,
7:40
Speaker 3: what I really like to think of and our brand
7:42
Speaker 3: is really stems from our mission and our mission overall
7:45
Speaker 3: mission and visionist to end misogyny and challenge the status
7:48
Speaker 3: quo and.
7:49
Speaker 4: Bring good people together.
7:50
Speaker 3: And we live out every single day of our lives
7:52
Speaker 3: at work based on that. It really is a mission
7:55
Speaker 3: based company and so it's it goes beyond, you know,
7:58
Speaker 3: having It's not like I sit at a desk and
8:01
Speaker 3: have a brand team. It's it's talking making sure that
8:04
Speaker 3: the brand and the mission is incorporated into every single
8:07
Speaker 3: part of the business. And I think that that is
8:10
Speaker 3: a group effort by our fantastic team. But that's really
8:14
Speaker 3: what my role entails. I feel like I drifted from
8:18
Speaker 3: the original question.
8:19
Speaker 1: So you're doing great.
8:20
Speaker 2: I love that you're a film major who drifted from
8:23
Speaker 2: creating film.
8:24
Speaker 1: To just put a stop to misogyny.
8:26
Speaker 4: Yes, and you know what, So that's what I was
8:29
Speaker 4: going to say.
8:29
Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, So my early twenties were all over
8:32
Speaker 3: the place. I was trying to freelance, and by freelance,
8:35
Speaker 3: I was working for free. I was buying, I was
8:37
Speaker 3: doing makeup. I was like hoofing it to film sets
8:39
Speaker 3: and working fourteen hour days without pay, pretending to smoke.
8:43
Speaker 4: Cigarettes so I could talk to directors like I was.
8:46
Speaker 3: Really trying to network and film and I didn't have
8:50
Speaker 3: it figured out. I'd worked in hospitality, I had tried. Also,
8:54
Speaker 3: I've done casting.
8:55
Speaker 1: And where are you at this point?
8:57
Speaker 4: All where I was in.
8:58
Speaker 3: Like look, I was in Dallas, LA and Baal in
9:03
Speaker 3: my twenties and Vale, Colorado, and.
9:07
Speaker 4: I didn't what. I didn't realize. I'd assisted photographers, so.
9:11
Speaker 3: I'd been on sets, and I didn't realize that everything
9:13
Speaker 3: that I had done up to that point was going
9:17
Speaker 3: to come together and create a role that really I
9:20
Speaker 3: just it developed and it evolved as we evolved.
9:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, talk to me about life in your early twenties,
9:26
Speaker 2: because you're a little bit all over the place, So
9:29
Speaker 2: when do you kind of stay in one place for
9:31
Speaker 2: a little bit of time.
9:33
Speaker 3: I actually don't think I've ever stayed in one place
9:35
Speaker 3: for a little at a time, but my family moved.
9:37
Speaker 3: We weren't military, but we did move quite a bit
9:40
Speaker 3: growing up, so I was very familiar with picking up
9:42
Speaker 3: and feeling like your roots are really where you decide
9:45
Speaker 3: to have them at that moment. Home is a feeling,
9:49
Speaker 3: as cheesy as that sounds, but I was in my
9:52
Speaker 3: life in my early twenties. I think I was just
9:54
Speaker 3: trying to figure it out. I think, like most women,
9:56
Speaker 3: you know, you don't really learn how to be an adult.
9:59
Speaker 3: You don't learn. And in college I was making I
10:02
Speaker 3: graduated with the academic award in the film department. So
10:05
Speaker 3: it wasn't that I didn't have drive, and it wasn't
10:07
Speaker 3: that I didn't have ambition. It was that I didn't
10:09
Speaker 3: have a roadmap. I had no idea where to go. Yeah,
10:11
Speaker 3: and I think that that fear of not the unknown
10:14
Speaker 3: is what paralyzes so many people and keeps them from
10:16
Speaker 3: making moves in their lives and what frustrates me so
10:21
Speaker 3: much about being a woman. I think to some degree
10:24
Speaker 3: it was sort of like, well, she'll figure it out,
10:26
Speaker 3: but there wasn't really any clear direction on how to
10:30
Speaker 3: become an entrepreneur, how.
10:32
Speaker 4: To figure it out?
10:33
Speaker 3: And eventually, when I had somewhere to channel my ambition
10:37
Speaker 3: and passion and drive it, really it unfolded from there.
10:41
Speaker 3: So I think that, you know, I would call myself
10:43
Speaker 3: a member of the never should have made it club.
10:45
Speaker 3: I probably shouldn't have you sitting here talking to you
10:47
Speaker 3: about life advice. But I think that the beauty of
10:50
Speaker 3: that is that anybody can. I mean, it's never too
10:54
Speaker 3: late to figure it out. And even when you have it,
10:56
Speaker 3: when people think you have it figured out, like you're
10:58
Speaker 3: still learning. You know, life was an evolution, And how
11:01
Speaker 3: sad would it be if you weren't evolving constantly as
11:03
Speaker 3: a person.
11:04
Speaker 1: How sad would it be.
11:05
Speaker 4: It'd be so sad.
11:06
Speaker 3: I mean, if you think about it, like, I think
11:07
Speaker 3: that that's the beauty of things, is that you can
11:09
Speaker 3: wake up and change your life tomorrow, Like you don't
11:12
Speaker 3: have to stay stuck in one spot. And I think
11:14
Speaker 3: it's so easy for us as humans to think that
11:16
Speaker 3: we're stuck. You know, we think that things aren't going
11:19
Speaker 3: to change, or you can't change your mood from right
11:22
Speaker 3: now to five minutes from now.
11:25
Speaker 4: I mean, and it's.
11:27
Speaker 3: Easy to forget that when you feel overwhelmed or like
11:30
Speaker 3: you don't know where to turn.
11:31
Speaker 2: So before we got to talking today, you were telling
11:34
Speaker 2: me about a time that you felt overwhelmed in your life,
11:37
Speaker 2: and that was dealing with your mom's cancer diagnosis.
11:40
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, yes, so my, So how old are
11:43
Speaker 4: you when this happened?
11:44
Speaker 3: Twenty five? I believe I was twenty. I think it
11:48
Speaker 3: was twenty five. Yeah, And so I was in Vail
11:52
Speaker 3: and I had gone home. There was in a relationship
11:54
Speaker 3: and we had gotten into this massive fight. So I'd
11:57
Speaker 3: gone home just to spend time in Dalla and was
12:00
Speaker 3: sitting with my mom. She had gotten a a calcification
12:04
Speaker 3: shut up in a mammogram, and so I went with
12:07
Speaker 3: her after her biopsy to see the results.
12:09
Speaker 4: My dad was out of town.
12:10
Speaker 3: And I was sitting next to my mom. The doctor
12:12
Speaker 3: came in and looked at her and was like, you
12:14
Speaker 3: have invasive ductal carcinoma with inside two characteristics. And that's
12:18
Speaker 3: a phrase I will never forget because I remember in
12:20
Speaker 3: the very breath that she said, we believe that you have.
12:23
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm going to have to sit here
12:25
Speaker 3: and take mental notes and remember everything this doctor says,
12:27
Speaker 3: because my mom has every right to black out right
12:30
Speaker 3: now and process this and handle how she wants. And
12:33
Speaker 3: I remember walking with her to the elevator afterwards, and
12:36
Speaker 3: she looked at me and she goes the doctor just
12:38
Speaker 3: said I had cancer, and I don't know where it
12:40
Speaker 3: came from. But I looked back at her and I
12:42
Speaker 3: was like, to get to the end of your life
12:44
Speaker 3: and not have a struggle, not have like a terrible
12:47
Speaker 3: I mean, like think about like statistic white, so I
12:49
Speaker 3: have a terrible accident or an illness or something that
12:51
Speaker 3: happens in your life, I mean fall like forget money,
12:55
Speaker 3: forget like wealth and success and anything like that. Like
12:58
Speaker 3: to die pass peaceful in your sleep without having any
13:01
Speaker 3: sort of trial. Is that's winning the lottery, the life lottery, right, Like,
13:05
Speaker 3: we all go through things. Everybody has a struggle, and
13:08
Speaker 3: every year that we're on earth is a privilege that's
13:10
Speaker 3: denied to so many people, you know.
13:13
Speaker 4: And I think that.
13:14
Speaker 3: Being able to see the positives and truly negative situations
13:20
Speaker 3: was what helped my mom get through it. I mean,
13:22
Speaker 3: she had a type of she had the most aggressive
13:25
Speaker 3: form of breast cancer, her proliferation rate, which was how
13:28
Speaker 3: fast the tumor was reproducing essentially. And I'm not a doctor,
13:32
Speaker 3: so if I didn't praise that, right, and you're a
13:33
Speaker 3: doctor listening, I really respect you and please don't judge
13:38
Speaker 3: me for that.
13:38
Speaker 4: But she.
13:40
Speaker 3: Was. It was an aggressive form of breast cancer, and
13:43
Speaker 3: she tackled it head on, and I saw my mom
13:45
Speaker 3: go from mom to fighter.
13:48
Speaker 4: And what was interesting she actually.
13:49
Speaker 3: Had a blog at the time that she had started
13:52
Speaker 3: three months before, and she blogged about the experience. She
13:55
Speaker 3: blogged about like skin care to use when you're going
13:57
Speaker 3: through chemo, and what to do when you're going through radiation,
13:59
Speaker 3: and to still still feel like a woman, you know,
14:02
Speaker 3: and and as every you're being basically your femininity is
14:07
Speaker 3: being lost. I mean, so many women find their identity
14:09
Speaker 3: in their hair, so many women find their identity in
14:11
Speaker 3: their breast, and to have both of that taken away
14:13
Speaker 3: from you within a matter of life or death, it
14:16
Speaker 3: just puts everything into perspective. And and from that, my
14:19
Speaker 3: mom was able to build out a career, but a
14:21
Speaker 3: career blogging actually blog She's a successful Yes, my mom's
14:29
Speaker 3: blog is the middle Page blog instead of the middle
14:32
Speaker 3: Age and she is killing it.
14:35
Speaker 4: It's been She's just a total inspiration.
14:37
Speaker 1: But she you know.
14:38
Speaker 3: It's interesting that was a that was a really challenging time.
14:42
Speaker 3: And I think that every time that you have a
14:44
Speaker 3: year or multiple years that are a trial, it really
14:47
Speaker 3: helps define you and it helps you grow and in it.
14:49
Speaker 3: When you're in it and it feels this past year
14:51
Speaker 3: was one for me, and when it feels like hell,
14:54
Speaker 3: the flip side of it, when you start to come
14:56
Speaker 3: up for air again, because typically we do we get
14:58
Speaker 3: those at least moments or days where you catch a breath,
15:01
Speaker 3: and when you're able to have that, I think that
15:04
Speaker 3: it puts so much into perspective and essentially those times
15:06
Speaker 3: make you a much more empathetic and strong person. And
15:10
Speaker 3: what I learned a lot from my mom, I'll share
15:12
Speaker 3: this is when she went through This is my Honestly,
15:17
Speaker 3: there's two stories about my mom that are my favorite,
15:19
Speaker 3: that really define her character. And I think we're very
15:22
Speaker 3: instrumental in creating the brand voice of Bumble because it
15:25
Speaker 3: was so so kind when she came out the other
15:30
Speaker 3: side of her doubleness. Ectomy it was a nine hour surgery,
15:33
Speaker 3: and there was an at that you have the risk
15:35
Speaker 3: of needing a blood transfusion, like that's how much blood
15:37
Speaker 3: you lose, And we saw her. She was green, and
15:41
Speaker 3: we were all waiting for her to wake up. And
15:42
Speaker 3: she wakes up from this terribly invasive like you've gone
15:46
Speaker 3: to battle with your body has gone to battle for hours,
15:48
Speaker 3: and she opens her eyes and she grabs the nurse's
15:52
Speaker 3: arm and she goes, how are you hi? And the
15:55
Speaker 3: nurse grabbed her arm back and we were all like,
15:57
Speaker 3: how are you? Like are you kidding us? Like that's
15:59
Speaker 3: your response and you've gone through war like that is unbelievable.
16:03
Speaker 3: And I think that her She mentioned to me when
16:07
Speaker 3: I was a kid, if I didn't stop and talk
16:09
Speaker 3: to everybody, my mom would would say I wasn't being kind.
16:12
Speaker 3: And she stops and talks to everybody that she encounters.
16:15
Speaker 3: And she one time, I think I was like a moody.
16:18
Speaker 4: Teenager and I was like, why why do you do that?
16:20
Speaker 3: Like it's just such you know so much time, and
16:22
Speaker 3: she said, you could be the one person in a day,
16:26
Speaker 3: a week, a month, a year who asks somebody how
16:28
Speaker 3: they are and actually listens, and when you think about
16:30
Speaker 3: it like that, you realize that everybody is I mean,
16:35
Speaker 3: we all really need somebody to listen to us. And
16:38
Speaker 3: I think that we're all peacocking all the time. We're okay,
16:41
Speaker 3: we're okay, but a lot of times people you're not
16:43
Speaker 3: or people aren't. And it's those moments, I think, where
16:46
Speaker 3: you're able to listen to somebody and have a genuine
16:48
Speaker 3: conversation that fill your cup back up totally.
16:51
Speaker 1: So how are you yeah this time?
16:54
Speaker 2: Because I mean, you're obviously learning a lot from your
16:57
Speaker 2: mother's experience.
16:58
Speaker 1: It's not an easy experience to go by any means.
17:01
Speaker 3: Oh, how am I At the time of twenty five,
17:04
Speaker 3: I was thought you met right now?
17:05
Speaker 4: I write, I'm good. That was just not a fair answer.
17:10
Speaker 3: At that time, I think I was feeling like I think,
17:18
Speaker 3: seeing a family member and somebody who has been like
17:21
Speaker 3: a guiding light in her whole life face mortality is
17:23
Speaker 3: a very tough thing to see, and it changes your
17:26
Speaker 3: perspective on everything, and I think that the stress, like actually,
17:31
Speaker 3: there was a lot of stress in that moment and
17:33
Speaker 3: a lot of stress leading up to that, and at
17:35
Speaker 3: that point my dad and I both ended up going
17:38
Speaker 3: to a rheumatologist because we both were like kind of
17:43
Speaker 3: like falling, our bodies were almost falling apart. And that
17:46
Speaker 3: was when I learned from this rheumatologist in Dallas that
17:51
Speaker 3: I had fibromyalgia. And that for me was like a
17:54
Speaker 3: really a moment where I started to think about like
17:58
Speaker 3: actually taking care of myself.
17:59
Speaker 4: That's been a journey.
18:00
Speaker 3: I mean, that is not something that I'm an expert
18:02
Speaker 3: on or that great app but I think that we're
18:05
Speaker 3: that's something that I'm.
18:06
Speaker 4: Really trying to want to master.
18:08
Speaker 2: Still, what symptoms were you experiencing that made you realize
18:12
Speaker 2: that you really needed to go and talk to someone about.
18:15
Speaker 4: What really did it for me?
18:16
Speaker 3: And actually, strangely enough, I just cut my hair off
18:19
Speaker 3: again because of mold toxicity. Just another story.
18:22
Speaker 1: What does that even mean?
18:23
Speaker 3: It means I had an airborne mold infestation in your
18:28
Speaker 3: hair in my apartment and I was breathing it in.
18:31
Speaker 3: It was airborne, so it was my potter residue was
18:33
Speaker 3: everywhere and my hair was falling out.
18:35
Speaker 4: So I cut it off.
18:36
Speaker 3: And I cut it off because years before it had
18:40
Speaker 3: been falling out from like all sorts of hormonal changes
18:42
Speaker 3: and issues that I had with these different autoimmune illnesses
18:46
Speaker 3: and or so I think, I mean, those are they're
18:49
Speaker 3: hard to diagnosse listen, it's basically five miles, just like
18:53
Speaker 3: process of elimination, but it's real, I mean, and you
18:56
Speaker 3: feel the pain and it makes things a struggle and
18:58
Speaker 3: it was real uncomfortable. But my hair started falling out,
19:02
Speaker 3: and so that was when I was I think vanity
19:05
Speaker 3: was what made me really like start looking into it
19:07
Speaker 3: and trying to figure out if that was what I like,
19:10
Speaker 3: what was going on. And and I just had a
19:13
Speaker 3: lot of body pain and the symptoms that I had
19:14
Speaker 3: at fibermalogia the moment that I knew my mom actually
19:17
Speaker 3: had fibromyalgia, and it felt like in between my muscle
19:23
Speaker 3: and my skin was like bruised. It wasn't on the skin,
19:26
Speaker 3: but it was like a constant pain. When you touch it,
19:29
Speaker 3: it like hurt. If somebody would like reach out and
19:30
Speaker 3: grab your arm, it hurt. And that was when I
19:33
Speaker 3: started to really experience that pain. But you get foggy
19:35
Speaker 3: headed and all sorts of different symptoms.
19:38
Speaker 4: Really tired.
19:39
Speaker 3: Chronic fatigue is one of the symptoms of it. And
19:42
Speaker 3: and I think at that point it's really coping. Yeah,
19:45
Speaker 3: I haven't heard of the cure.
19:46
Speaker 4: If anybody out there knows the cure to fibermologia, please
19:48
Speaker 4: let me know.
19:49
Speaker 1: What do you do to handle it on a regular basis?
19:52
Speaker 3: What do I do when it starts to hit? So,
19:55
Speaker 3: I mean I have to I just keep going. I
19:58
Speaker 3: really believe in what we're doing, and I feel so
20:02
Speaker 3: inspired every single day when I wake up, and so
20:04
Speaker 3: I keep moving. But there were times, like when bumble
20:06
Speaker 3: first launched, I worked from bed. You just have to,
20:09
Speaker 3: like self care, you have to listen to your body
20:11
Speaker 3: and really do what it needs. I have a light
20:13
Speaker 3: case of it. I know there are people who have
20:15
Speaker 3: fibermlgia and actually can't get out of bed and can't
20:19
Speaker 3: leave the house, and I have so much empathy for
20:20
Speaker 3: that because I don't have that same experience.
20:23
Speaker 4: But when I have it, I just.
20:25
Speaker 3: Will usually take advil and take a bath and go
20:29
Speaker 3: to bed or work from home if it's really bothering me.
20:33
Speaker 2: Right, you mentioned your mother taught you so much about kindness.
20:37
Speaker 2: Do you think that fibromyalgia has encouraged you to be
20:41
Speaker 2: kind to yourself?
20:43
Speaker 4: It's a really great question.
20:44
Speaker 3: I think you know, Yes, I do, and I think
20:48
Speaker 3: that life has encouraged me to be kind to myself.
20:51
Speaker 3: I would be lying if I sat here and said
20:55
Speaker 3: that I'm somebody who's constantly nice to myself. I think
20:58
Speaker 3: that is the biggest journey in life, is to actually
21:01
Speaker 3: become your own best friend. I think we are so
21:04
Speaker 3: hard on ourselves, and I think that society teaches us
21:06
Speaker 3: to be really hard on ourselves. And I actually went
21:10
Speaker 3: to this thing that was recommended by our CEO and
21:16
Speaker 3: founder that I took six and a half days off
21:18
Speaker 3: and did a digital detox.
21:20
Speaker 4: But it was truly like a it was like heart therapy.
21:23
Speaker 3: It was like, oh, they describe it as ten years
21:26
Speaker 3: of therapy in seven days. And I did this on
21:29
Speaker 3: the heels of a divorce last year, and I felt
21:31
Speaker 3: like I just needed to address the chaos in my
21:34
Speaker 3: life and find my own that find a friend, like,
21:37
Speaker 3: find that person who would support me, and that needed
21:42
Speaker 3: to be myself. And I feel like I left this
21:44
Speaker 3: experience called Hoffman Process knowing that and being more in
21:47
Speaker 3: touch with who I am. And I think that really
21:50
Speaker 3: was what kicked me off on this whole journey to
21:53
Speaker 3: self love and it's new and I started to realize
21:56
Speaker 3: for me. I would get frustrated when I would listen
21:58
Speaker 3: to people's advice and it was isn't exactly what I
22:02
Speaker 3: wanted to hear, because I already knew the answer and
22:04
Speaker 3: knew what I needed. But I was relying on everybody
22:07
Speaker 3: else versus relying on myself. And I think that having
22:10
Speaker 3: the ability to check in and see what you actually
22:13
Speaker 3: need and what you actually feel and think and.
22:14
Speaker 4: Believe is a practice.
22:18
Speaker 3: It's easy to it's so much easier to not so
22:21
Speaker 3: then you have somebody else to blame.
22:22
Speaker 4: Right It's like, it's like you told me that that
22:25
Speaker 4: was a good idea. I wouldn't have done it all
22:27
Speaker 4: the way, but I think.
22:28
Speaker 3: Once you kind of turn it into something where you're
22:31
Speaker 3: your own advocate and best friend, the responsibility is a
22:36
Speaker 3: privilege to have with yourself.
22:43
Speaker 2: Taking a quick break from today's episode to give the
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23:33
Speaker 1: Let's get back to it.
23:39
Speaker 2: I mean, it sounds like you're so clear headed about
23:42
Speaker 2: all of it now, but I'm sure in the midst
23:45
Speaker 2: of going through a divorce it must have been emotional hell.
23:50
Speaker 1: Especially with your job.
23:52
Speaker 2: You're so busy, You're traveling all over the place, You're
23:55
Speaker 2: never in one place for what seems like more than
23:58
Speaker 2: two minutes. I feel lucky that I got you for
24:00
Speaker 2: forty five. How is that mental chaos for you? And
24:03
Speaker 2: is the mental chaos what convinced you to do the
24:05
Speaker 2: digital detox.
24:07
Speaker 4: One hundred percent?
24:08
Speaker 3: I felt like everything around me was just I kind
24:12
Speaker 3: of felt like it was like a whirlpool of anxiety.
24:15
Speaker 3: And constant turmoil. And I think what was interesting is
24:19
Speaker 3: on when I got divorced, I started to really feel
24:22
Speaker 3: more and more like me and experience that. But there's
24:25
Speaker 3: so much that comes with There's so many questions that
24:27
Speaker 3: come with divorce, and I think, I think on the
24:30
Speaker 3: flip side of it, and it's something that we don't
24:32
Speaker 3: talk enough about divorce in general. It's like people hear
24:35
Speaker 3: it and they're like, oh, I'm so sorry, Oh that's
24:37
Speaker 3: so sad, but is it really? I mean, it's like
24:39
Speaker 3: you make a decision that is best for you and
24:42
Speaker 3: best for what you think is what you think is
24:45
Speaker 3: the best decision for you and your partner in the
24:47
Speaker 3: long run. And I think there's a lot of courage
24:50
Speaker 3: that it takes because it rocks everybody else around you's world, right.
24:54
Speaker 3: I mean, it's something that when you when people find
24:57
Speaker 3: out that your divorce every I mean, I can't tell
24:59
Speaker 3: you how many people ca to be more like I'm
25:00
Speaker 3: having like a hard time in my marriage and my relationship.
25:04
Speaker 3: And I think there are varying degrees of that, but
25:06
Speaker 3: I think that you have to choose, like life is
25:08
Speaker 3: short and you have to choose what works best for you.
25:11
Speaker 3: But the chaos around it, So you do it, and
25:14
Speaker 3: then on the other side of that, it's a journey
25:17
Speaker 3: that I don't know if I was prepared for because
25:21
Speaker 3: you're looking for a lot of things, So you're looking
25:23
Speaker 3: for answers as to why you're looking. You feel like
25:25
Speaker 3: you failed, right, and so here you are and you're
25:29
Speaker 3: embarrassed to say all of these things that have happened
25:32
Speaker 3: and that you immediately it creates this new layer of
25:36
Speaker 3: you that is a little bit more complex that people
25:40
Speaker 3: feel like they need to know why did you get divorced?
25:43
Speaker 2: You know?
25:43
Speaker 4: And I think that you don't have to share that
25:45
Speaker 4: with anybody.
25:47
Speaker 3: But I think that on the flip side of it,
25:49
Speaker 3: there's a lot of feelings of self doubt. There's a
25:53
Speaker 3: lot of feelings where there's confidence, and then there are
25:55
Speaker 3: just downright panic attacks and moments where you break down.
25:58
Speaker 3: And I think that when I through it, I told
26:01
Speaker 3: myself that I would meet myself wherever I was in
26:04
Speaker 3: those emotions. So if I'm feeling sad, I'm going to
26:07
Speaker 3: be sad and I'm going to allow myself to do it.
26:09
Speaker 3: And then if I'm feeling like happy, I'll enjoy that
26:13
Speaker 3: like whatever it was I would, I would have that experience.
26:16
Speaker 3: But I think that for me, a large part of
26:20
Speaker 3: I was very fortunate in the fact that I was
26:22
Speaker 3: traveling all the time and working and have something that
26:24
Speaker 3: I love with my whole heart in this company.
26:27
Speaker 2: I think it's so different to be busy, just to
26:31
Speaker 2: be busy, versus being happy and busy. I think a
26:36
Speaker 2: lot of us throw ourselves into whatever we can when
26:40
Speaker 2: we're struggling, whether it's with self image, or at work,
26:43
Speaker 2: or with a troubling relationship, or whatever the case may be.
26:47
Speaker 2: We throw ourselves into everything and anything. But if you
26:51
Speaker 2: can turn that struggle into passion, if you could turn
26:54
Speaker 2: that struggle into something that means something to you, then
26:58
Speaker 2: that's your Opportunit tunity, it's not, it's not the woe
27:03
Speaker 2: is me. Oh my god, I'm so sorry about your divorce.
27:06
Speaker 2: You took that opportunity to become better.
27:08
Speaker 3: Completely, and I think that you can't become better without
27:11
Speaker 3: doing the work. I mean it if you ignore everything
27:15
Speaker 3: and push it aside, which, to be fair, in the beginning,
27:18
Speaker 3: I was meeting myself everywhere and wherever I was and
27:22
Speaker 3: taking that time and if it meant that I was
27:23
Speaker 3: at an event and I'd go hide in the coat
27:25
Speaker 3: closet and cry. I would do it and I'd go
27:27
Speaker 3: back out and Valentine's Day. Actually last year, this is
27:31
Speaker 3: a year ago now, I was doing profile doctoring and
27:34
Speaker 3: I remember walking back in our hive and bawling my
27:37
Speaker 3: eyes out and then going back out and.
27:39
Speaker 4: Helping people with their profiles again.
27:41
Speaker 3: And I think that you have to experience the range
27:47
Speaker 3: of emotions that you're feeling, or else they can manifest
27:49
Speaker 3: themselves in other ways illness or you know, starting to
27:53
Speaker 3: take on other whatever the case may be. So for me,
27:57
Speaker 3: I kind of got busy and stopped really acknowledging my
28:00
Speaker 3: feelings and tried to be a power woman, like superwoman,
28:03
Speaker 3: right and yeah, And I think that Hoffman was a
28:06
Speaker 3: brilliant time for me to stop and pause and face it.
28:09
Speaker 3: And I think I was able to give myself the
28:11
Speaker 3: space to really explore it.
28:14
Speaker 1: Explain to me a little bit about what Hoffman is.
28:16
Speaker 3: It's a it is a digital detox. It's like a
28:21
Speaker 3: it's six and a half days. You check your phone
28:23
Speaker 3: and your laptop and you go through it's an individual
28:27
Speaker 3: experience that you're having in a group setting, and you
28:29
Speaker 3: go somewhere for this, you go, I was in mine
28:32
Speaker 3: was in Napa.
28:32
Speaker 1: Okay, I want to go to Napa. Yeah.
28:35
Speaker 3: I don't want to say too much about it. And
28:37
Speaker 3: I think that it helped me in a lot of ways.
28:40
Speaker 3: It's definitely an experience and I really appreciate it. I mean,
28:45
Speaker 3: there have been I think there have been so many
28:47
Speaker 3: like celebrities to who have made comments about I think
28:50
Speaker 3: I read before I went.
28:51
Speaker 4: The only reference that I had was like that Katie
28:52
Speaker 4: Perry really enjoyed it.
28:53
Speaker 3: And then I just read that Justin Bieber left in
28:55
Speaker 3: the middle of it, and.
28:57
Speaker 4: And not I don't know these people. These are just
29:00
Speaker 4: things that I read.
29:01
Speaker 1: I love what we refer to them, like a good friend.
29:04
Speaker 3: Beeves To left it and we talked about No we didn't,
29:07
Speaker 3: I'm joking, but yeah. But it was something that for me,
29:10
Speaker 3: it served a really strong purpose in my life because
29:13
Speaker 3: it also gave me the space to let go of
29:16
Speaker 3: all of the connectivity that I have and actually gave
29:19
Speaker 3: me like the permission moving forward when I left there
29:23
Speaker 3: to say, you know what, I'm going to put my
29:24
Speaker 3: phone down for a Saturday and I will pick it
29:28
Speaker 3: back up again and you know, be present. But to
29:31
Speaker 3: really encourage you. I think when you're building a startup,
29:33
Speaker 3: it's so easy to just stay completely addicted and connected
29:36
Speaker 3: to your phone and being able to separate myself. I
29:38
Speaker 3: haven't really spent much time on Instagram since it because
29:42
Speaker 3: I realized that seven days without anything like that, the
29:45
Speaker 3: world doesn't stop and I didn't miss it.
29:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, So, apart from work.
29:50
Speaker 3: And using it as a tool to connect with people,
29:53
Speaker 3: I really haven't been on that, which I think is
29:56
Speaker 3: a very addictive and sad addiction to to spend time doing.
30:01
Speaker 2: I think it's interesting that you have that perspective, actually,
30:03
Speaker 2: because a lot of people would go cold on Instagram
30:07
Speaker 2: or some other social tool and have an actual issue.
30:11
Speaker 2: They probably realized first and foremost how much time they've
30:13
Speaker 2: been spending on it. Once you go without it. But
30:16
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people would miss it, And
30:18
Speaker 2: so the fact that you are able to say that
30:20
Speaker 2: you didn't and that you don't really is pretty special.
30:24
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, and I was doing that doesn't mean I
30:26
Speaker 3: don't open it and look like I'll open it for
30:28
Speaker 3: like two seconds and check it and make sure I'm
30:30
Speaker 3: not missing. I open it like I would open anything
30:31
Speaker 3: else to make sure I'm not missing messages. But I
30:34
Speaker 3: think for me, and I was so busy at Hoffmann, like,
30:39
Speaker 3: you're not just hanging out, it's a lot of work.
30:42
Speaker 3: But I also think it really freed me up to
30:45
Speaker 3: take the time and space that I need, And as
30:47
Speaker 3: I was saying earlier, gave me the space to figure
30:49
Speaker 3: out myself and to address some of the things that
30:51
Speaker 3: I'd maybe been ignoring. And I found my responsibility and
30:54
Speaker 3: things that I had been struggling to find. And I
30:57
Speaker 3: think that gave me so much peace. And so I
30:59
Speaker 3: actually really left with feelings that I didn't know I
31:04
Speaker 3: could have, that we're compassion and forgiveness and really rooting for,
31:11
Speaker 3: you know, others that I didn't think I would be
31:13
Speaker 3: in that position. For me, so often, before Bumble and
31:18
Speaker 3: before even people were looking at Bumble, you'd look around
31:21
Speaker 3: at these women who seem so successful and seem like
31:24
Speaker 3: they have it all together. And I think that there
31:27
Speaker 3: is something that is very freeing to know that everybody
31:30
Speaker 3: is trying to figure it out, and that early on
31:32
Speaker 3: I realized that nope, like what is that quote that
31:35
Speaker 3: nobody really knows what they're doing and everybody's pretending, essentially,
31:38
Speaker 3: And I think that's so important because it feels like
31:41
Speaker 3: there's such a distance between looking as an outsider into
31:45
Speaker 3: looking at somebody who has like a high power job
31:47
Speaker 3: or whatever. You look there and it feels so far away.
31:50
Speaker 3: But really we're all human and we're all trying to
31:52
Speaker 3: figure it out.
31:53
Speaker 1: It's so true.
31:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think what I'm getting out of talking to
31:55
Speaker 2: you is that you have so much clarity on who
31:58
Speaker 2: you are now. And if we're going to talk a
32:01
Speaker 2: little bit about dating and mental health and emotional health,
32:04
Speaker 2: it's something that I struggle with when I'm personally looking
32:09
Speaker 2: for a partner, and that a lot of people have
32:12
Speaker 2: trouble articulating who they are and they're hoping that someone
32:15
Speaker 2: else is going to help them figure that out. But
32:17
Speaker 2: in actuality, in my experience, and something that I've been
32:20
Speaker 2: working on tirelessly throughout the last year and a half
32:23
Speaker 2: being a single thirty something living in New York City,
32:26
Speaker 2: is that I am so good with who I am now,
32:29
Speaker 2: and so now I feel like I'm ready to meet
32:31
Speaker 2: someone and be with someone and give them this emily
32:34
Speaker 2: versus maybe other times when I don't know if I
32:37
Speaker 2: could have said the same sentence.
32:38
Speaker 3: I think what is so interesting and not to say,
32:42
Speaker 3: I'm an expert at this, but we're on like, we're
32:46
Speaker 3: here right now, in this year, in this day, in
32:48
Speaker 3: this minute, and you are you right like you?
32:50
Speaker 4: Whoever, however you ended up being you.
32:52
Speaker 3: What an incredible thing to explore, right instead of looking
32:55
Speaker 3: for that in somebody else, Like what a gift?
32:58
Speaker 4: How cool is it.
32:58
Speaker 3: That you get to meet this person and get to
33:00
Speaker 3: know this person? And I think that that is something
33:03
Speaker 3: that we don't do. We look to everybody else and
33:05
Speaker 3: look for our purpose and our approval and everybody else,
33:08
Speaker 3: when it's really in us and who we are.
33:11
Speaker 4: Everybody is so unique and interesting, and you know, you'll have.
33:13
Speaker 3: A conversation with somebody you're like, wow, they were really
33:16
Speaker 3: an interesting or fascinating person or whatever, Like that's all
33:19
Speaker 3: within us. We're all, you know, made of the same fabric.
33:22
Speaker 3: So it's really taking that time to get to know you.
33:26
Speaker 3: And I think that I appreciate you saying that that
33:29
Speaker 3: I seem like somebody who has clarity around who I am.
33:32
Speaker 3: I think it's easy to fall Yeah, I think it's
33:35
Speaker 3: easy to fall into patterns where you don't have clarity
33:37
Speaker 3: on who you are. But what I learned is that
33:41
Speaker 3: when I was dating before, I was genuinely looking for
33:44
Speaker 3: me and everybody else. I was looking for somebody else
33:46
Speaker 3: to give me guidance, and I was looking for what
33:48
Speaker 3: I thought would be right or perfect or successful or
33:53
Speaker 3: whatever it was, instead of actually looking for what made
33:56
Speaker 3: me feel good and feel like my best. And something
33:59
Speaker 3: that I've learned that has changed the way that I
34:01
Speaker 3: date is boundaries. And I think that nothing there is
34:05
Speaker 3: no self love quite like boundaries. And we can say,
34:08
Speaker 3: like I'm doing X, Y and Z to make myself
34:11
Speaker 3: feel good. But if you go into a romantic relationship
34:15
Speaker 3: or friendship or whatever, you give yourself away completely. I'm
34:19
Speaker 3: not talking about like giving yourself away physically, whatever whatever
34:21
Speaker 3: you want to do in that regard, but like, if
34:24
Speaker 3: you don't check in with yourself and make sure that
34:26
Speaker 3: you feel good and comfortable, or like you feel a
34:29
Speaker 3: red flag, you feel something that is wrong, and we
34:31
Speaker 3: all have an intuition, and you ignore that, you're ignoring
34:34
Speaker 3: your own personal boundary, right, And I think that it's
34:37
Speaker 3: easy to ignore them and all of a sudden become
34:39
Speaker 3: blind to them. You don't see them anymore, you don't
34:41
Speaker 3: feel them. It's like hurdles all of a sudden, those
34:42
Speaker 3: hurdles are just down. You're like running through the art.
34:44
Speaker 3: You're just breaking through the hurdles essentially and running in
34:47
Speaker 3: the wrong direction. And if you can find your own
34:50
Speaker 3: boundaries and honor those, then that's where healthy relationships of
34:54
Speaker 3: communication and honesty come in.
34:56
Speaker 2: I've got to ask you, how do you set boundaries
34:59
Speaker 2: between all of this work and taking time for yourself.
35:02
Speaker 4: That's an every day struggle.
35:04
Speaker 3: Actually, we talk about self care in the office now
35:07
Speaker 3: because it is something that's so important. I actually was
35:09
Speaker 3: running late and still stopped and I meditated for five
35:12
Speaker 3: minutes before I checked them.
35:13
Speaker 4: With myself before this, because it felt like I was.
35:16
Speaker 3: Running all over the place, and I think that you
35:18
Speaker 3: have to recenter, and that's something that I'm really working on.
35:22
Speaker 3: I think, you know, as as you're building out something,
35:26
Speaker 3: and obviously there's there's teams, and all the pressure is
35:31
Speaker 3: good and all of the stress is good stress, and
35:33
Speaker 3: it's exciting and it's but it's like a hurricane. And actually,
35:36
Speaker 3: there was a woman who I met who mentioned to
35:39
Speaker 3: me it was some of the best advice I received,
35:42
Speaker 3: which was that the more chaos is around you if
35:45
Speaker 3: you don't have a strong core it will start to
35:48
Speaker 3: consume you.
35:48
Speaker 4: Versus if you have a.
35:49
Speaker 3: Strong core that you build up, you're able to resist
35:52
Speaker 3: the chaos a lot more. And so it seems like
35:55
Speaker 3: a chore, but then it changes your day. That's like
35:57
Speaker 3: what I was saying earlier. You can you We think
36:00
Speaker 3: we don't have the power to change the way a
36:02
Speaker 3: day is going in five minutes.
36:03
Speaker 4: What you can?
36:04
Speaker 3: You know? And I think that that it's making sure
36:07
Speaker 3: that if you or it's being honest with yourself enough
36:10
Speaker 3: to say this doesn't feel right or I don't feel
36:13
Speaker 3: right and listening to that and then making those changes
36:17
Speaker 3: to make things right.
36:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, you mentioned meditation. Do you use an app? Do
36:21
Speaker 2: you not use an app?
36:22
Speaker 3: I have friends at Headspace, and I really like the
36:26
Speaker 3: concept of headspace, So I feel like terrible if I
36:28
Speaker 3: didn't say that I love Headspace. I do think it's
36:30
Speaker 3: a great concept. There's an app that I use that
36:32
Speaker 3: I like because I kind of do meditation in my
36:34
Speaker 3: own way.
36:35
Speaker 4: I find that if I focus.
36:36
Speaker 3: On kindness or love or you know, or just check
36:40
Speaker 3: in with myself, that works for me. So there's an
36:42
Speaker 3: app that I use called as well as Headspace, I use.
36:45
Speaker 3: It's called Insight timer, and I just do the timed
36:48
Speaker 3: meditations and then I'll use it for sleep at night
36:51
Speaker 3: as well, use the I use apps to sleep. And
36:53
Speaker 3: I think there's also an app called Humley that is
36:56
Speaker 3: music meditation that I think I've heard of that you've
36:58
Speaker 3: heard of it, yeah, And I because I am such
37:00
Speaker 3: a musically oriented person. So for me, it's I use
37:06
Speaker 3: music anyway that I think gets me through the day.
37:08
Speaker 3: I think that got me through a divorce. I was
37:10
Speaker 3: listening to music and changing the music that I was
37:12
Speaker 3: listening to so that I wasn't still living in this
37:14
Speaker 3: feeling of my marriage.
37:16
Speaker 4: I switched over my genre.
37:18
Speaker 3: And I just think that anything like music and that
37:22
Speaker 3: humbly helps me as well when I want to tune
37:24
Speaker 3: out and really focus the music.
37:27
Speaker 2: I love that your approach to getting through your hurdles
37:30
Speaker 2: is leaning into like the mental health and being kind
37:32
Speaker 2: to yourself and the conversations that you're having up here
37:35
Speaker 2: instead of a lot of the time, so many of
37:37
Speaker 2: us lean into the physical.
37:40
Speaker 1: I please, I.
37:40
Speaker 2: Run my ass off when I'm feeling stressed or upset,
37:44
Speaker 2: but sometimes it's just so important to dial it back in.
37:46
Speaker 2: And I think what you're saying is just like so
37:48
Speaker 2: beautiful about the conversation and the compassion that you've learned
37:51
Speaker 2: to have with yourself.
37:52
Speaker 3: Well, take your own like. That's another thing that I've
37:54
Speaker 3: learned is like taking your energy back. We give it,
37:56
Speaker 3: we give it, we give it, we give it, and
37:57
Speaker 3: it's so easy and.
37:58
Speaker 4: Two seconds to pull it back totally.
38:00
Speaker 3: Which is something that I think is a really helpful
38:04
Speaker 3: message for anybody. It's, you know, we have it all
38:07
Speaker 3: in here, like we have all the power, And it
38:09
Speaker 3: sounds like so hokey in some regards, but then it's
38:12
Speaker 3: like once you feel it, you can definitely find it again.
38:16
Speaker 3: I don't think there's a right or wrong to self care.
38:18
Speaker 3: I think that self care is what works for you.
38:23
Speaker 3: So if you if self care for you is ordering
38:26
Speaker 3: like a pizza and or ordering a cheeseburger and eating
38:29
Speaker 3: that and actually enjoying it versus putting shame on yourself
38:33
Speaker 3: for it, then that's that's works for you.
38:35
Speaker 4: You know. I think that we.
38:38
Speaker 3: Make self care like this box that we have to
38:39
Speaker 3: tick and do right, But it doesn't matter. You can
38:41
Speaker 3: do self care in thirty seconds by doing whatever you
38:45
Speaker 3: need to feel good. And I think that we've as
38:48
Speaker 3: especially women too I think that we put so much
38:50
Speaker 3: guilt on ourselves for everything anyway, and so and that's
38:54
Speaker 3: not something that needs to be perfect. It just needs
38:56
Speaker 3: to be whatever it looks like for you. So if
38:58
Speaker 3: it's running for you or for me, it's just doing
39:00
Speaker 3: a check in. I think that's it doesn't matter how
39:04
Speaker 3: you do it, as long as you do something that
39:05
Speaker 3: makes you feel loved.
39:07
Speaker 2: Last question answer, You have an opportunity right now to
39:11
Speaker 2: give yourself a piece of advice.
39:13
Speaker 1: Let's do it.
39:13
Speaker 2: Looking back on the woman who is crying in the
39:18
Speaker 2: coke closet going through her divorce, trying to figure out
39:23
Speaker 2: how to handle what comes next, you offer her a
39:27
Speaker 2: piece of advice.
39:27
Speaker 1: What's the advice.
39:29
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a good question because that is like a
39:31
Speaker 3: year ago to day, and so much has changed in
39:34
Speaker 3: the past year. I think the advice would be to
39:37
Speaker 3: love yourself. I really do. I think it's advice is
39:41
Speaker 3: to love yourself and to know that you're enough and
39:45
Speaker 3: who you are is completely like whole without somebody.
39:49
Speaker 1: Else, without somebody else. I love it.
39:51
Speaker 2: Alex, thanks so much for giving me your time today
39:54
Speaker 2: and our run through all of the goodies. I'm so
39:57
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that I got to sit down with you,
39:59
Speaker 2: I feel like I could do it all.
40:00
Speaker 4: Say this is great.
40:01
Speaker 3: You asked so many wonderful questions and I just so
40:04
Speaker 3: appreciate getting to be here and share the story. It's
40:07
Speaker 3: definitely a deviation from what I usually.
40:10
Speaker 4: Talk about, and I appreciate you being interested.
40:12
Speaker 2: My gosh, please take a moment to leave a quick
40:14
Speaker 2: review by clicking the link with the description of this episode.
40:17
Speaker 2: We all face multiple hurdles in life, and I want
40:19
Speaker 2: to hear about yours. Reach out to me at Emily
40:22
Speaker 2: at Hurdle dot us. Connect with the podcast on Instagram
40:24
Speaker 2: and Twitter at Hurdle Podcast Alex.
40:27
Speaker 1: Where do they find you? Where do they find Bumble?
40:30
Speaker 2: Give me the details on how they can interact bumble Has.
40:33
Speaker 3: You can find Bumble in the app store and if
40:35
Speaker 3: you are married or in a relationship, we have BFF
40:38
Speaker 3: and biz and you can actually hide dating on your
40:41
Speaker 3: platform with a timestamp. So it really is a connectivity
40:44
Speaker 3: tool for introductions for anybody to meet. You can find
40:48
Speaker 3: me on Instagram with my last name which is at Williamson.
40:52
Speaker 3: I'm Alex Williamson and then bumble Has. I'm so proud
40:56
Speaker 3: of our social media channels.
40:57
Speaker 4: That we do have.
40:58
Speaker 3: We have social media channels and every country, but it's
41:01
Speaker 3: at Bumble It's our main Instagram. We have at bumble biz,
41:04
Speaker 3: which is incredible career advice. At Bumble bff is great
41:08
Speaker 3: friend advice. And then at Whitney is our just phenomenal
41:12
Speaker 3: CEO and founder and she is so real on her
41:16
Speaker 3: Instagram and so it is she She is a real
41:19
Speaker 3: joy to follow.
41:20
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to come back and talk to it. Also.
41:24
Speaker 2: The last thing I'm gonna say is that timestamp feature
41:27
Speaker 2: hiding must be It must have been a great improvement
41:30
Speaker 2: to the app.
41:31
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean that was something so many people were
41:34
Speaker 3: married in relationships but still wanted to meet people exactly.
41:37
Speaker 3: And it's not just for dating anymore. It's for all
41:40
Speaker 3: of the connections we because that is That is one
41:42
Speaker 3: thing I'll add in like the pps of this podcast
41:46
Speaker 3: is that we don't believe we think, we don't think
41:49
Speaker 3: that one relationship makes you whole. We think that it's
41:51
Speaker 3: all of the relationships in your life that help make
41:54
Speaker 3: you the best version of yourself. And that's in dating
41:57
Speaker 3: and friendship and in business. And if any of those
41:59
Speaker 3: are off kilter, it can.
42:00
Speaker 4: Throw off everything about who you are.
42:02
Speaker 3: So we really are trying to create healthy, happy relationships
42:05
Speaker 3: in every aspect of your life.
42:07
Speaker 2: Well, I'm healthier and happier walking out here. You can
42:11
Speaker 2: find me on Instagram at Emily Body. Find Hurdle at
42:14
Speaker 2: Hurdle Podcast, Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time,