Latest / The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast / 110. Say Goodbye to Guilt | Reality Transurfing Reveals Secrets on How

Transcript

110. Say Goodbye to Guilt | Reality Transurfing Reveals Secrets on How · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:01
  All right today, we are going to talk about guilt.
• 0:03
  Guilt is a strong shame emotion.
• 0:07
  Shame is on the lower levels of consciousness in the book, power versus force.
• 0:12
  But in Reality Transurfing we talk about guilt a lot, and I love the way the Vadim Zealand brings in guilt and discusses it.
• 0:23
  As well as it relates to fitness, because I see a lot of guilt taking place.
• 0:29
  Like, why am I not working out?
• 0:31
  Why am I not eating right.
• 0:34
  Things like that can really deter your progress.
• 0:38
  So we're going to talk about guilt today.
• 0:40
  From the perspective of Reality Transurfing.
• 0:43
  We're going to explore the concept of guilt and how Reality Transurfing principles can help us manage it.
• 0:50
  But guilt can be a very complex emotion that can hold us back from achieving our goals and living authentically.
• 0:58
  I like how Reality Transurfing provides valuable insights into how to eliminate the excess potential of guilt.
• 1:06
  By taking responsibility for our actions.
• 1:09
  Recognizing when guilt is being used as a tool of manipulation and being true to ourselves and our values.
• 1:16
  By following these principles, we can unlock our potential and live a life free of most negative shameful emotions.
• 1:25
  You're listening to Kathie's coaching podcast.
• 1:28
  I'm your host, Kathie Owen.
• 1:30
  On this channel, we talk about having a growth mindset, fitness, healthy habits, and even some Reality Transurfing.
• 1:37
  And today we are talking Transurfing on Thursday.
• 1:41
  Let me give you a couple of quotes from the book first, before we even get into this discussion.
• 1:46
  So he says that"asking for forgiveness, admitting your mistakes, praying for forgiveness and confession are all ways of eliminating the excess potential of guilt." Another quote is"pendulums will use any pretext and any means to try and force you to serve others." Words like'must''obligated' and'have to,' and I'm even going to include the word'should' usually have the necessary effect on people with a heightened sense of guilt.
• 2:20
  So guilt.
• 2:22
  Is a complex emotion that can have a profound impact on our lives.
• 2:27
  And these quotes from Reality Transurfing offer an interesting perspective on how to deal with guilt and the role that external forces can play in making us feel guilty.
• 2:38
  According to Reality Transurfing, there are various ways to eliminate excess potential of guilt.
• 2:44
  And one of the ways is to ask for forgiveness, admit your mistakes, pray for forgiveness or confess.
• 2:51
  These actions can help you acknowledge your wrongdoings and take responsibility for your actions.
• 2:57
  Thus reducing the burden of guilt.
• 3:00
  By doing so you can free yourself from the negative emotions associated with guilt and move forward.
• 3:06
  On the other hand, we have pendulums, you know, pendulums are just thought structures that everybody thinks.
• 3:12
  And when we're talking about guilt is the collective energy of people or organizations, and they can use guilt as a tool to manipulate individuals.
• 3:21
  They can use words like'must''obligated' and'have to', to force individuals to serve their agenda.
• 3:29
  And I even like the word'should' to be included in this because should, is a dirty word.
• 3:36
  And notice when you say'you should do this', notice how the shame is involved with that word.
• 3:43
  These words can trigger feelings of guilt in people with a heightened sense of responsibility.
• 3:49
  And making them more susceptible to the demands of the pendulum that only wants their energy.
• 3:55
  You know, words like must.
• 3:58
  You're obligated.
• 3:59
  You have to, you should be doing blah, blah, blah.
• 4:04
  As my friend in college used to say guilt, shmilt.
• 4:08
  And I like how Vadim always says, you only need to apologize once and let it go.
• 4:14
  Guilt will eat you up.
• 4:16
  It's a tear down of dreams and more.
• 4:19
  And it's important to recognize when guilt is being used as a tool of manipulation.
• 4:24
  And to resist its pull and I don't even like that word resist because what you resist persists.
• 4:30
  But when you notice that these words are being used on you.
• 4:34
  For example, I had a friend of mine in conversation.
• 4:37
  A few months ago, tell me.
• 4:41
  That I should do something.
• 4:43
  I should do this.
• 4:44
  I should do this.
• 4:45
  And I just felt shame all over the place.
• 4:49
  And I mean, her intentions were good and I didn't judge her for saying that nor did I judge myself for feeling the shame.
• 4:57
  But at the same time I sat there and I looked at the whole situation.
• 5:01
  And my therapist, Shary always comes back to my mind and I could hear her saying"she saying should she's saying should Kathie." That's a dirty word don't should on yourself and don't should on others.
• 5:15
  But when you become aware of when this is going on, you can stay true to your own values and avoid being pulled in a direction that is not aligned with your goals and aspirations.
• 5:28
  That's a good way to go down a wrong road.
• 5:34
  So I have a download that teaches you about pendulums as well as a mini email course, that you can learn more about pendulums and you can find that at.
• 5:46
  www.kathieowen.com reality-transurfing.
• 5:53
  There will be a link to the signup in the show notes and description below.
• 6:00
  So guilt can stem from various sources, such as past mistakes.
• 6:05
  Society expectations.
• 6:07
  And even internal beliefs.
• 6:09
  However, the excess potential of guilt can hold us back from moving forward in our lives.
• 6:15
  The excess potential of guilt refers to the negative emotions that we associate with our past mistakes, our failures, which can weigh us down and prevent us from taking action towards our goals.
• 6:28
  So I see this happening so many times in the fitness world, the health and wellness world, where.
• 6:36
  We put a lot of guilt on ourselves because we missed a workout.
• 6:40
  Or because we're not eating properly when that guilt, if you just let it go.
• 6:47
  And eliminate the excess potential.
• 6:51
  Take responsibility for your actions and ask for forgiveness.
• 6:56
  One of the main things I like is Ho'oponopono.
• 6:59
  I talk about it several times on my channel, and I may do an episode strictly on Ho'oponopono.
• 7:06
  But Ho'oponopono is a forgiveness practice.
• 7:09
  Taught by Dr.
• 7:11
  Hew Len there's many YouTube videos on it.
• 7:15
  And.
• 7:16
  Oh, it's just four sentences.
• 7:17
  You say, I love you.
• 7:19
  I'm sorry, please forgive me.
• 7:21
  And thank you.
• 7:22
  And it's an ancient, Hawaiian forgiveness practice.
• 7:26
  What happens when we just say these four sentences is we acknowledge our wrongdoings and seek to make amends and we release the negative emotions associated with guilt.
• 7:37
  And create space for positive energy to flow in.
• 7:41
  We can then move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and direction.
• 7:46
  I like to practice Ho'oponopono on everything, especially when I feel negative emotions coming in on myself, and sometimes it doesn't work right away, but it's honestly, it's subconscious.
• 8:00
  And if the resistance is kind of strong, which guilt tends to have a strong resistance.
• 8:07
  It may take a little while, but once you start practicing this on a regular basis, You'll start to notice differences in your life and differences in the way people are even acting towards you.
• 8:18
  And I'm just saying this Ho'oponopono tool as using it towards guilt today.
• 8:25
  But it's a very powerful practice.
• 8:28
  So Reality Transurfing emphasizes the importance of individuality and authenticity.
• 8:35
  And by recognizing and honoring our unique perspectives, we can avoid falling into the trap of guilt that comes from society and external expectations.
• 8:46
  What does that mean?
• 8:48
  That means that when you realize that you are you and.
• 8:52
  Others or others, you let go of their expectations.
• 8:55
  You let go of your expectations and you live to your full authenticity.
• 9:01
  And when we live our lives authentically, we are free from the burden of guilt that comes from trying to meet those external expectations.
• 9:10
  That may not align with our values and goals.
• 9:13
  Guilt can be a complex emotion and it can hold us back from achieving our goals and living authentically.
• 9:19
  We've already seen that in the fitness and wellness example that I've given you.
• 9:25
  But when we take responsibility and I talk about responsibility a lot on this channel, but when we take responsibility for actions, we recognize when guilt is being used as a tool of manipulation.
• 9:37
  And honoring our individuality and authenticity, we can manage guilt and move forward with a renewed purpose and direction.
• 9:46
  So when I was talking about my friend telling me that I should do, I should do.
• 9:51
  I, my therapist came to mind, Sherry, where the word should is a dirty word.
• 9:56
  Anytime somebody is telling you, you should be doing something.
• 10:00
  There is an element of guilt in there, and it's not about you.
• 10:04
  It's most likely about the other person, but then again, Everyone is you pushed out.
• 10:10
  So how can that be about you while you're harboring some guilt in that situation where it's like, oh yeah, maybe she's right.
• 10:19
  Maybe I should do this.
• 10:20
  Maybe I should do that.
• 10:22
  But when you go back and you take responsibility for your own actions, you can recognize when guilt is being used as a tool of manipulation or a pendulum being pulling you in.
• 10:33
  And then you honor your individuality and your authenticity, your higher self, your inner-self your power lies there.
• 10:43
  And guilt is just pure, excess potential.
• 10:47
  That's all it is.
• 10:48
  It's excess potential.
• 10:50
  What do we do with excess potential?
• 10:51
  It's like icing a cake and you have all this extra icing.
• 10:55
  You want to scrape it off and put it away.
• 10:59
  That's why I like Ho'oponopono, because when you practice Ho'oponopono on guilt, it rids you of the burden of excess potential.
• 11:08
  Think about this in nature.
• 11:10
  There is no such thing as good or bad.
• 11:13
  And we talked about this a few weeks ago.
• 11:15
  That nature goes with the flow.
• 11:17
  When I talked about the alternatives flow in Reality Transurfing and like the quote from Shakespeare says"there is no such thing as good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
• 11:29
  And the payment for the feelings of guilt will always be punishment in one form or another.
• 11:38
  So this brings me to the victim victimizer cycle that takes place.
• 11:44
  And the payment for the feelings of guilt will always be punishment.
• 11:48
  And the punishment is the victimizer coming after the victim.
• 11:52
  We do this inside probably more than we do this with anybody else.
• 11:56
  So to get out of that is to find your way to Victor and get rid of that punishment.
• 12:02
  That resistance.
• 12:04
  There's truth in the saying that impudence is second happiness.
• 12:09
  Feelings of guilt will always produce a script that includes punishment where you are conscious of what is happening or not happening.
• 12:19
  Now, this is important because this is where the victimizer comes into play.
• 12:24
  So as soon as the person indicates that they are willing to absorb guilt A manipulator will stick to that person like glue and actually feed on their energy.
• 12:35
  This dynamic can be avoided by simply refusing to take on the feelings of guilt.
• 12:41
  Now, I know this is much easier said than done.
• 12:44
  But when you let go, when you practice practices like Ho'oponopono you're taking responsibility because you're asking for forgiveness.
• 12:54
  You'll only need to ask for it once.
• 12:56
  And you just let it go and let go of that resistance.
• 13:00
  And in time, don't shame yourself, but in time and with practice, this will happen.
• 13:05
  If you have a tendency to justify yourself, start letting go of it.
• 13:11
  Once the victimizer realizes they no longer have a way of hooking into your energy, they will actually leave you alone.
• 13:18
  I have a lot of experience with this because, I understand the narcissist personality.
• 13:25
  We all have narcissistic tendencies.
• 13:28
  And when you start justifying yourself to a narcissist, they will hold on to that.
• 13:34
  Whatever you're justifying and they will not let it go and they will not leave you alone.
• 13:39
  It's also a prod from the pendulum.
• 13:43
  And so don't justify yourself, just start letting go of it.
• 13:48
  And again, this happens with practice and with time.
• 13:52
  And only you can give others the privilege of being your judge only you can.
• 13:59
  And if you are free of the feeling of guilt, it will never occur to anyone to assert themselves over.
• 14:05
  You.
• 14:06
  Feeling guilty is a foreign concept to cynics and other types of people who have no conscious and their way of progressing in life is to Wade through the slaughter and walk over other people.
• 14:19
  And it is not surprising that it is often unscrupulous that come to power.
• 14:26
  I probably don't even need to give you an example of this when you just think of.
• 14:31
  American government that this is all over the place.
• 14:35
  So feeling guilty is a foreign concept.
• 14:39
  To cynics and other types who have no conscience.
• 14:42
  And their way of progressing in life is to Wade through the slaughter and walk over other people.
• 14:48
  That is why you don't want to Harbor feelings of guilt and shame.
• 14:54
  It's better to.
• 14:55
  Come up into the levels of consciousness and let it go.
• 14:59
  Induldging in feelings of guilt can only undermine your position in life.
• 15:04
  And asking for forgiveness, admitting your mistakes, praying for forgiveness and confessing are all ways of eliminating the excess potential of guilt and getting rid of that excess icing on the cake.
• 15:19
  And Vadim Zeland mentions in the book that you only need to ask for that forgiveness confess that one time.
• 15:29
  Admit your mistake one time.
• 15:31
  And then let it go.
• 15:33
  Because manipulators will remind you of your mistake on more than one occasion, trying to awaken your feelings of guilt, do not react to the provocation.
• 15:43
  That provocation is a prod from the pendulum.
• 15:48
  Everyone has the right to ask for forgiveness once and only once.
• 15:54
  No one has the right to judge you and you have the right to be yourself.
• 15:59
  If you allow yourself to be you.
• 16:02
  The need for self justification will fall away.
• 16:04
  And the fear of being punished will fade.
• 16:08
  Then something remarkable will happen and no one will dare insult you.
• 16:14
  So I also want to elaborate a little bit on how guilt is pure excess potential.
• 16:21
  And this quote right here highlights the idea that guilt is a form of pure excess potential that can hold us back from moving forward in our lives.
• 16:32
  By acknowledging our mistakes and taking responsibility for actions, we can eliminate the excess potential of guilt and create space for positive energy to flow in.
• 16:43
  The payment for feelings of guilt will always be punishment in one form or another.
• 16:49
  This suggests that the feelings of guilt lead to a script that includes punishment, whether we are conscious of it or not.
• 16:57
  And by releasing the excess potential of guilt, we can avoid this script and move forward with a clear conscience.
• 17:05
  Only you give others the privilege of being your judge and this quote right here emphasizes the importance of taking ownership of our lives and not allowing others to judge us or make us feel guilty by being true to ourselves and our values, we can avoid falling into the trap of guilt that comes from external expectations.
• 17:27
  If you have a tendency to justify yourself, start letting go.
• 17:32
  Because when we justify ourselves.
• 17:35
  We could give a manipulator.
• 17:38
  a way of hooking into our energy and make us feel guilty.
• 17:42
  But by letting go of the need to justify ourselves, we can avoid this dynamic and stay true to our own values.
• 17:49
  I always think of this statement when I'm thinking of the manipulator getting hooked into our energy.
• 17:56
  I have a habit where I won't ask somebody.
• 18:00
  Are you mad at me?
• 18:02
  Because when you ask somebody, if they're mad at you, You've just given way that you were guilty somehow some way.
• 18:12
  Yes.
• 18:12
  The person is acting like they're mad at you.
• 18:15
  And maybe you did something, but don't admit to the guilt of it.
• 18:19
  Let them explain to you by asking them, put that back on their plate.
• 18:25
  Why are you acting mad?
• 18:27
  Instead of, are you mad at me?
• 18:30
  Because when you ask, when you are mad at me, you're giving the manipulative or the victimizer a way of hooking into your energy.
• 18:40
  And remember, no one has the right to judge you and you have the right to be yourself.
• 18:45
  This reinforces the idea that we are in control of our own lives and should not allow others to make us feel guilty or judge us.
• 18:54
  By being true to ourselves and our values, we can live authentically and avoid the negative emotions associated with guilt.
• 19:02
  So in conclusion, guilt can be a powerful emotion that can have both positive and negative effects on our lives.
• 19:10
  By taking responsibility for actions and acknowledging our mistakes.
• 19:15
  We can reduce the excess potential of guilt.
• 19:18
  At the same time, we must be aware of external forces that can use guilt as a tool to manipulate us.
• 19:24
  And stay true to our own values and goals.
• 19:27
  As the Reality Transurfing quotes suggest we must strive to eliminate the excess potential of guilt while resisting the pull of the external forces and pendulums that seek to use guilt for their own purposes.
• 19:42
  All right.
• 19:43
  That's my episode for today.
• 19:45
  I trust that you found it helpful.
• 19:47
  Thank you for spending part of your day with me.
• 19:49
  And if you know somebody who can benefit from this, please share this episode with them.
• 19:54
  And until next time I will see you next time, peace out and Namaste.