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Did Scotty's friends uninvited him from their weddings?! · Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Tampa Bay's best music is.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And welcome to another episode of Scotti and Abby Unfiltered.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: I do need to talk about the conversations that I've
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: had with friends, and I feel like I've ended that
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: chapter of adulthood where you honestly got to get very
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: specific on who you're going to be spending time with.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: And the sad reality is is it feels like some
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: friendships have drifted. I'm gonna get to that, but I
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: also want to get to the updates for especially if
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: you've been following along with the saga of the Irishman.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a freaking loser from the UK.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: That's not a good start. You already could tell. Or
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: this is.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Well, well, we all knew this plane was crashing into the.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Ground for some reason. I was hoping for a miracle,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: because here's what's wild is every now and then there
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: will be a miracle.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but like, yeah, there will be an
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: exception to the rule.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Correct, But just why is that going to happen?
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: As a woman, you have to go into every situation
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: going I'm not the exception to the rule, and then
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: when you are the exception, you can be surprised.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think when the person comes along, that
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: is the acception. Like that's when you know, you're like, wow,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: every other person, because that's I've had this weird thought
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: and I haven't really fleshed it out all the way through.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: But what's crazy about dating is you literally fail your
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: way through, Like until you get married or find your person,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: every other previous relationship is simply just a quote unquote failure.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: I will say for this conversation. Yeah, So everything that
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: you're basing it off of your nervous system is like, well,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: is this gonna make it? Is this going to go
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: the distance? Is it not? And all you have evidence
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: of is the ones that don't, And so you're just
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: hoping and praying that the one that makes it. You're like,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: is this going to be the one that's the miracle.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: But irishman is not the miracle. He is not well,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Let me give you the update. Where do we leave off?
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: So quick recap? I won't go through the whole story.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Match with this guy. I know, I've like recap the
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: story seven million times.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Everyone's like skipping forward the other like.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Ten seconds and seconds and seconds and seconds and seconds.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Match with this guy in Tampa we were both allegedly
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: in Nashville at the same time. He told me that
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: he was on the same flight as me. We get
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: on the flight, I don't really hear from him. I
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: don't see him, so I'm very suspicious. I get back,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I still don't hear from him. Next day, he finally
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: texts me and I like kind of call him out,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: and then he says a couple of things. I'm like,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: maybe he was on the plane. I don't know. So
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: then I left our conversation yesterday, Did I tell you
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: what I message?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because it'd been twenty four hours. Yes, yesterday, he'd
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: been twenty four hours. I'd sent him a message that
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: basically said ask me out, or like, maybe he's not
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: that smart. Maybe he didn't realize I was to ask
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: me out.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, he is that smart. Like guys like
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: get it together when it's this obvious that there's an
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: opportunity to go out, because you guys have talked about
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: where you could go. You talked about a good place. Yeah,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: it's an easy land, just say hey, let's go there. Yeah, Hida, I.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Don't know how the education system is in Ireland, So
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: maybe he's maybe he's not he doesn't have great reading comprehension.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: But anyway, sent him a message and I said I
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: was gonna give him twenty four hours and then I
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: was gonna unmatch. And then I wish I had unmatched
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: with him when I said I was gonna match, because
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, he hasn't unmatched me,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: which I thought was interesting. I'm like, maybe he just
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: like needs a break from the crazy girl who thinks
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: he's lying.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: But it wasn't even that crazy.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: It really wasn't that crazy.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: It really was like, that's pretty tame. And again, somebody
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: that I think is confident and knows where they're going,
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: they would be able to handle that any day.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think he just has a bunch of other
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: bitches in his phone.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: That's right, let him know.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: So he's like, I don't need this girl who's like
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: gonna question me on my lies.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: So anyway, I get home and around like eleven, he.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Unmatched eleven in the morning.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was it was like it was right before
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I went for a walk or something, so it would
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: have been before one pm.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: So because that on the podcast, we said like, okay,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: we'll give up to all nine pm. Yeah, and he
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: that I just.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Wanted to look him in the eyes, and I wanted
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: him to give me proof that he was on that plane.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Like that's why I was holding out. I'm sure you
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: want to be like, Abby, why didn't you just unmatch
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: with him? I was like, I really wanted to see
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: how far this would go, Like I really wanted to
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: see if he was I actually wanted proof that he
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: was on the plane. I wanted to go out with him.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I wanted him to show me his boarding past, but
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I knew he couldn't do that.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: So he got caught in his line.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: He got caught in his life. So I think he unmatched.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I also do think he's a listener of this podcast, because.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Seems a little convenient that a couple hours after we
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: post the podcast about him, he unmatches.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: That's what I told your girlfriend's friend who match with him,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: because she is very invested in the saga. She's like,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: what went on with him? I said, well, he unmatched,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: and she goes, I for sure think he was not
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: on that plane.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: See, And I was trying to give him the benefit
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: that I thought maybe because in my head, I'm like
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: that is just like my brain just doesn't go there.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: That's the weirdest lie.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Oh no, it's so weird and unnecessary.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: That's the word unnecessary. And I was looking at some
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: of the comments on Spotify and Nick said, abs, this
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: behavior should not be allowed to continue. Ladies need to
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: speak up and make these boys accountable. I think that's
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: absolutely accurate.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you who said that. That was a nix a
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: knix think. Oh, she said, post about him, post about him.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: You guys already know I was kidding. I think I
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: might just post what I've essentially talked about on this
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: podcast on TikTok Yeah, which of course he'll see. Yeah,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: hopeful she's Yeah, But I don't want to dox him.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be like, and his name is
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: blue blah blue and his name is and then now let's.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Go after him, yeah, because then you see him like
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: the petty one, like you don't. But I think the
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: bigger part is, like I do think like men need
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: to realize and okay, this could actually help future men
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: that might think whatever he did is like kind of funny.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: You have to realize there's somebody on the other end
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: of the phone. I think that's what comes to life
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: with this story.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, because it's like, would you okay, so let's play.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Let's play two sides. Let's say he was lying.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, That to.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Me just tells me you really enjoy attention from women, like,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: because that's there's no other way. There's no other reason
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: that you would lie, because you obviously just want to
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: play with my feelings and be like and make me
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: think that this is something more exciting than it is.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Which is just a weird like you want to get
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: my hopes because then there's no coming back from it,
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: so you already know that going into it. Yeah, you
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: know there's no potential future with this, so let me
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: go ahead and get your hopes up. What to just
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: crash you out, like, yeah, that's weird, that's psychotic behavior.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: That's why I think the new Hinge feature where it
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: tells you the thoughtful signals, Like if you've never been
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: on Hinge, they have this new feature where on somebody's
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: profile it shows you literally a beating heart. It's like
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: this purple hertghos too, and it says abby shows thoughtful signals,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: which I have learned means that they're very active on
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: the app and they're good at responding. Okay, I now
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: feel like that's a red flag because if you're active
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: enough to trigger that feature in Hinge, then you must
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: just be constantly talking to girls all the time, which
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: is fine. And maybe I can already see somebody in
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: the comments being like, well, what do you want him
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: to not be an active texture. I'm like, no, that's
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: not the case, because I'm like, it might be on
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: my profile, it might show that I'm an active texture responder.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: But I guess if you've been on the apps for
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: a while and it shows that you're very active, I
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: do wonder as an objectively attractive straight male, so what's
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: keeping you so active on that app? And what's keeping
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: you on the app? Does that make sense?
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: It does. I could see it from both sides. I
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: could see somebody that's on there that's truly looking for love,
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: and it's like, in order to find it, you got
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: a search for sure.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: So I do think I do think there's exceptions to that,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Like I think, you know, there's I know, guys complain
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: a lot about Knock getting a lot of matches, So
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: if you're only getting like one or two matches here
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: and there, then that's totally fair to be active on
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: the on the app, but I think I saw him
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: as somebody who was like objectively a catch for the area.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: If you're super okay, that's what I would like to
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: edit it as, if you're an objectively attractive person, if
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: you're a catch, like if you could go to a
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: bar and get a girl, and it shows that you're
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: exceptionally active on the app through the feature. I do
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: feel like that's a little bit of a red flag. Yeah,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: do too, not to be like, well, if you're ugly,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: it's fine.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's like why haven't you like, like, what's
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: going on with you? Yeah, like there's obviously I don't know,
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: something that sounds bad, but something with you. Then something
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: that you're carrying around that's the reason why you're still here.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: If you know you could go out and get it.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But then again, maybe it says it
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: on yours too, and I guess that could say the
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: same thing of like why are you thoughtfully on here? Well,
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: because a lot of men suck all these stories, I.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Got to respond to him. Some of them are lying
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: to me. I got to see which ones are lying.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: So he is officially unmatched you can't see him any
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: No, you unmatched me, which is I one hundred percent
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: feel like he heard the podcast.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: That's and we were talking about that earlier. That's crazy,
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: but also not unreasonable. I think we forget, we forget
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: that this could be heard by so many people.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, No, No, I actually don't think it's unreasonable
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: at all.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Oh see, I do because in my head, I like,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know, in my head, it's like seven people,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: you know y casually listen.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like four thousand people casually listening.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Thanks podcast fan.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: But here's the thing. I don't think it's unreasonable. But
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: I also just think, like, why didn't he say anything
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: within that twenty four hours? Do you know what I mean?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: So that's how I'm like, Okay, you're clearly something triggered
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: you to unmatch me. It makes a lot of sense
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: in my head that it would be the podcast about you,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: which I think is fair. I think it's totally fair.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: But also, if you weren't lying, wouldn't you want to
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: redeem yourself?
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: Correct? Don't you want a chance? I would at least
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: try one redemption.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Because for me, I would want to go out with
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: you and be like, look, this is literally my boarding pass,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: you fucking psycho.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and like make it fun like you are crazy,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Like what the heck? But it's like we said, are
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: like you should be able to handle that kind of crazy. Yeah,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: everyone has their crazy scale. We've all been a little crazy.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I actually don't even think this was objectively crazy.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I don't either. I still stick to that. I think
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: it's crazy.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I think the word is maybe a little suspicious, specially
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: borderline paranoid, but crazy, but.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Also valid for feeling that way. Absolutely, because again, does
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: this help the situation? No, No, You're only gonna feel
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: more paranoid the next time somebody says something like this.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: No, I just don't trust anybody.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: You don't even know where to look anymore. Yeah. I know,
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: it's like you're gonna keep the apps so correct, it's not.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: This isn't the like i'mter you.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I think I might. I'm going to delete them at
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: some point. I'm going to delete them before I go
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: to Italy, just because there's no point for me to
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: like talk to a bunch of guys in Tampa when
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: I'm traveling. Yes, but some I was actually going to
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: delete them until some guy messaged me this morning, and
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: he's so objectively perfect on paper that I'm like, Okay,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I would like to go out with this guy perfect
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: because I'll just give you the stats. I'm going to
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: give you vague stats.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: He is.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: He is my type, and I'll give you the cons too.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: He is my type. I don't think he listens to
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: this podcast. He gives like he doesn't have the thoughtful
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: signals on his profile. That's good, but I don't think
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: he's chronically online. He's a big boy job. He's like
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: a very important big boy job. He went to two ivs.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's from Florida. The only thing is
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: his photos do give douchebag. And I just look at him.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I just know there's some girl out there
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: that hates you because of what you did to her.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: But I don't want to discount him, considering he checks
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: all the boxes. He gives a little douchey, but he
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: might be nice. He might just be like an awkward
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: looking guy who looks a little douchey.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I would say, sometimes I come off as a little.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Douche No, you don't, respectfully, No, you don't.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: You don't think before I had this justin Bieber hair cut.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: I came off with a little.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Douche, not even whatever the douche scale is. You're not even.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Happy to hear that. I've just heard that I've come
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: off a little douche, like when I'm telling you.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: You look like a douche.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Well, when I put on the hat backwards, I don't.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: I didn't do it for years because I thought I
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: gave off that energy. Yeah, like I didn't give it off,
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: but like it came off as like, oh, if you
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: saw me in the gym, like that guy's an asshole,
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I always felt that way about myself. Yeah,
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: but I'm glad it doesn't come around.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: You know, what's the nickname they give you at the
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: bone Scottie smiles a lot, or oh Sally big fat
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: smile or something, open smeuths, open mouth Sally, that's what
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: they call you. That's right, open mouth Sally is giving douche.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I don't walk around the streets with my mouth open,
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: and I don't definitely don't walk in the gym with
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: my mouth open. So I think if you just saw
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: me straight faced, you know, short sleeves, cut off sleeves backwards, cap.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be taken as a douche, but
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I always had that feeling that I.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Was why don't you take a look at his profile.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I want to get your let me see, I want
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: to get my brother's opinion on it.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Here we go, Oh my god, that's a cool picture
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: right away. That's a win. I already like him. Oh
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: that's a very casual There you go. He dresses well,
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: looks like.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: He got money. Hey, one of us got too.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I think he looks like a great guy.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: How do you feel about the photos I showed you
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: that I'm like, I think he's giving douche.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's that douche. I would probably do
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: the same thing, maybe without like the accessories that he's holding.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: But it sounds so weird to.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Say that, Like you mean the guitar and the Don
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Julio model and him sitting on a yacht.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: I think it's very artsy. But what I'm seeing is
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I'm seeing somebody that is artsy, that knows how to
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: dress well, and that is something that you like, You
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: need a guy that could dress well.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't have no legos.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: He actually wears good clothes and he has friends, and
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: he takes pictures that shows he's a real human And damn,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: he's got a good body.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: He's a really good body. But sometimes that's a red
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: flag too because sometimes like only one of us can
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: have an eating disorder in this relationship, you know what
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Like, but you guys can go to like workout classes
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: like I'm planning in the future already workout classes together,
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: walking clubs like walks on riverwalk be sure.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. The other thing is he's a I like his name,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: but his name is so Calmon.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't see his name that I tried.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Looking him up on Are we dating the same guy?
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Facebook pages? Yeah? No, I like that name. I've always
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of good guys with his name.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: It's a good guy name. But so we're gonna find out.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: He did kind of already ask me out, and I
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: sort of already said yes. He said, if I've been
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: to a certain place, and I said kind of sort of.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: So I'm thinking he's about to lobby up, like, oh,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: would you like to go?
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: That would be the smart movie. I think he's going
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: to be really good in person. I can actually see
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: this people I.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Thought you would say. I think he's gonna be really
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: good bad.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to go down to that route. But
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: he does look like you would be. Yeah, I'm sure
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: he is, but I think it would be a great
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: conversation and based off of like what you said, he
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: would be down to do. That's a and so far.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Green flag, green flag, green flag.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: We love that.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: I hate this though, because here's what's gonna happen. I'm
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: gonna say that crap and it's gonna be like the
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: douchiest dude.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Oh no, he's gonna he's gonna objectually objectively suck. If
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: he's not an absolute douche in person, he's gonna have
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: no personality. He's gonna have like a weird voice.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: He's somebody's gonna not though, Like I'm telling you, like
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: that could be the one where it's like, wait a second,
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: holy shit, are you marking all all the boxes?
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: It could be.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: It could be.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I think, just with guys when they're objectively attractive, just
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: like this guy, and exactly just like irishmen, there's probably
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: something wrong with them.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I wonder, like, okay, so let me take it. I
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: always just trying to see it from like the woman's perspective, uh,
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: for like somebody like me, Like I'm trying to think,
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I wonder what that is. Then in my girlfriend's eyes
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: of like what's wrong with me?
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: But that's the thing is you weren't on the apps.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Oh that's true.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Wait were you? No, Yeah, you weren't on the apps.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: So that's what I'm trying to say is if you're
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: like a dude who wants a relationship and you're remotely
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: in the category of something people would find attractive, you're
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: gonna find a girl. That's why it does, I know,
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: sound judgmental when I'm like, what's wrong with you?
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: You still here?
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: If you're if you have a good job and you're
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: over six speed and you're objectively attractive, there's something off
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna find out what it is. Should we
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: make bets?
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Oh no, I really we got to bet in favor
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: of them. We got to make sure that it's like
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: we're going in the.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Well, there's we can be in favor of him while
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: also saying what we think is the problem, what's our prediction?
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Because here's the thing, you could probably say the same
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: thing about me. We all the thing is everybody has flaws.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: But I do think it's different when a woman is
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: on a dating app than when a man is. It's like,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: it's like if you find a girl specifically looking for
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: a hookup on an app, you know what I mean?
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Like I could go to a bar and I could
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: have sex with a guy if I wanted to, and
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: the same way that an objectively attractive guy could go
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: to a bar and get into a relationship the next week.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: So I do think it can be vice versa. And
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying like, if you've ever been on Tender,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: it's bad. I've been on Tender before, but like, if
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: you're on Tender as a girl looking for a hookup,
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: sometimes you're just looking for something easy and quick if
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: you're looking for that a hookup specifically. Whereas, what's the
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: point I'm trying to make here? Do you see the
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: comparison I'm trying to draw.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: I could see why, like why many women would be
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: on the apps because it's like, holy crap, it's so
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: hard to find a quality person.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're trying to opposite for men.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: You're on the apps just because you want to see
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: all the quantity yes out there, yes, and that's kind
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: of odd.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: So that's the point I'm trying to make.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Which sucks so because every now and then I know
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: some guy's gonna be like about the apps too, and
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: I'm a good guy. Hey, I bet you are. I
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: bet you what you probably are with all these other
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: dudes that are six foot and beautiful, You're like, god, dang,
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: you guys are looking at these gods and goddesses. I know.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: So I'm not trying to shame guys. If you're on
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: the apps and you're like, but I'm on here and
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I'm a good guy, you might have a profile that
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: doesn't market yourself.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Doesn't say how long they've been on. Like if we
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: looked at his does it say he's been okay? Because
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: maybe that's it.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Maybe he's like, I've never seen him before, so that's
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: an irishman I had seen before. I had seen him
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: the summer ey thing.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: He's thoughtful, he's a thoughtful user. He's thoughtful, he's a
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: thought well, I hope.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Let's make our predictions. Okay, I can't go out with
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: him unless he literally asked me out for tonight. I
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: can't go out with him until Tuesday.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: I think it's going to be it's going to be
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: something weird of you're gonna have to accept the amount
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: of time that you could get with him.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: No, I don't think that's it. You don't think so, No,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I don't want to see a man.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Oh no. I'm saying like he probably has a job
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: that you would have to travel a lot, and that'd
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: be like a what about this job?
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Did you see his job?
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Oh? No, I didn't.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: He does not have to travel.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Objectively. This man's photos and I was like, oh, he's
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: a beautiful guy.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Let's see. Damn it, he's he's this job.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: It's going to be something like he hates cats, and
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: you're like, well, this is going to be a tough decision.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Let me see.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Okay, now he's here.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: The problem is, I feel like it's an easy profession
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: to google and I can't.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Find oh red flag one.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I know, so that might be it.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I don't m based off and this is gonna be
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: this is the part of this is gonna be very judging.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: So let me just be very judging for a second.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Based off of what I've seen about him, I'm gonna
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: say that he's too uppity, that he thinks too high
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: of himself that he talks down to you as if
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: you're not good enough.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that might be it. I think he's
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: either going to be a snob, douchebag, or have you
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: seen those gender reveal videos here, I'm your memal, and
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I think you're gonna be a raging d bag.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think it's if I can see it, it's
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: like one of those like I raise my nose too
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: high and I look down at you. I really hope not.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: But if we get the stereotype, maybe I.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Think he's going to be a snob or he's gonna
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: have like zero personality. He's just gonna be like so boring.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: But he had pictures that show that he has and
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: he knows how to have a good time.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: So that's a down Julio.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: He turns up and he likes to place.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Let me see he looks. He looks normal. He looks
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: like his friends are normal as well. Like his friends
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: are also well dressed, which is a good sign.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, and obviously he's got a good body.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that last picture is really great. The first one's
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: kind of random, but this one is kind of random.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: That is random, but I love it because that shows
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: me he's down to get down and dirty.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: It just makes me wonder, like, why this photo, you
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, I.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: Don't know that. I don't know. I don't know out
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: of all of those, why that.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But for context, the photo we're referring to, just
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: so I'm not keeping you in the dark, it's kind
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: of like an angled photo. You can you could see
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: enough of his face and he's got his shirt off.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: He's wearing swim trunks, but he's holding an animal, but
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: it's not a pet.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I think it shows like if I would look that,
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: that's he's adventurous. He's adventurous, he's kind of wild. That
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: shows personality, Like I don't think he's gonna be somebody
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: who say down with and you're like trying to pull
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: answers out of them. It sounds like something that's gonna
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: be like, yeah, oh my god, I'll tell you about
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: this trip and that trip, and thin he's gonna ask
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: about your trips. I'm really hoping for the best year
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: of y'all. Yeah, I'm really hoping. And again based off
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: of what he asked or maybe lobbied up to you
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: green flag because that's an interesting activity.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: And I've always wanted to go on a date there actually.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: See and it's a very cool, casual, low key, not flashy,
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: which that's a good sign too.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: It's so low key, it's so first dady, and it's
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: close to me when when I love not having to
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: take an uber to see a.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Man maybe brings that animal that he's holding in the first.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Picture, Oh my god, can you imagine.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: I would die? That'd be the man.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I guess I could say it Chris like he's holding
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: like a giant tortoise. Makes I don't know why we're
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: being secretive is if they can like look him up.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I think I'm just like trying because here's the thing.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I know it's gonna get to the point, like with
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: the bird show that guys see I talk about them
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: online and they're gonna know. It's gonna be like the
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: tailor swift ef fect, Like I don't want to date
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: her because then she's gonna write a song about me.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, but I'm I'm I'm not blasting you.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not throwing your name out there. Yeah, like
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: we know what to respectfully.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Share and all of this. I would say that they're
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: faced by the way, Like same with irishmen. Same with
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: this guy, Like I would say the same thing, but like,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: prove me wrong, prove me you're not a d bag.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: That's exactly it. Like all those things I just said,
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Like I don't you know, I don't want you to
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: be a snob. So I would hear that and say
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: I get that all the time. I could prove to
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: you I'm not awesome response instead of being like, what
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: will you think that about me? Who would think that
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: about me? Asshole? No wrong response. Take the challenge, rise
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: to the occasion.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Take the challenge.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: It's hot.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: It's so one of the things that I've been working on,
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: and I'm glad that we're talking about this because it's
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: kind of cool, like the different ways relationships form and
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: also slowly break apart. One of the things I've really
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: had to come to grips with is I've dealt and
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: we've had Stacy on to talk about this. We've talked
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: about this over the past couple months. Like a lot
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: of anxiety internally with relationships. I've had dreams that I've
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: been getting shot and house is burned down. God, it's crazy.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: I had a weird dream yesterday and this is just
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: like a little quick tangent.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Were you also holding a tortoise?
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Not? No, not holding the tortois. This time, I had
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: a dream. I stupidly cut my bangs and I left
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: up with this hair that I'm trying to grow out,
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: and I looked insane and I was can So it
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: was so weird.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: But that does show that you're probably going through something
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: weirdly emotional, because that's what girls do, like when they're
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: going through a crisis, they cut their bangs.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: Well, maybe I am, I will say.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: So.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: I had a couple of friends that I like, just
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: I felt weird about, you know, friends that I haven't
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: talked to in a while, Friends that I know their
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: wedding's coming but I haven't been invited to yet. And
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: then friends that I just haven't talked to. And what
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I decided I was on the car. I was like,
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: you know what, f living in this anxiety, I'm going
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: to simply just start the conversation. It's going to be uncomfortable,
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: but I need to have answers because I can't live
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: in this unknown. And so I did it with my
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: one friend who's getting married in November, and I just
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: decided I was going to text them out of the blue,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: and so I did. I texted him and I asked
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: about the wedding. I saw he actually texted me seven
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: months ago asking about a DJ service if I could
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: help with that. Sorry, buddy, I missed that text.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Only why you didn't get the invitation? Well, he's like, well,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: when he responds to my text, I'll hit him up.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Well, I asked Hi about that. He said, no, we
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: got it covered and we're all good for the wedding.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I saw in the text. I was like, I guess
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: I saw that what he did send me was more
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: than I save the date. It was the invitation. So
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: I'm good in that one. I was like, oh, thank god,
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: a little piece of my anxiety vanishes. I'm good November.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: I'm going to a wedding. Hallelujah. I had another buddy
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: who's a really good friend, and all of a sudden
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: we just stopped talking and I was like, what the
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: hell is happening? What did I do? And here's the
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: thing with me, and I think with a lot of
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: us here, if we did something, just tell us. I
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: can't guess. I'm not somebody that's going to be able
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: to read your mind. Yeah, I'd rather know, so I
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: could fix it. And so I decided, you know what,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna call this person. So I called, Okay,
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: write a voicemail.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: You're kidding? Is that common with this person? Uh?
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Interesting?
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: I called again, right to voicemail again, And so I
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: decided he was in the shower, maybe long ass shower,
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: maybe he was gardening. Maybe, But I texted. I decided,
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: you know what, I'm just gonna text him and say,
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: you know what, I'm gonna acknowledge his head on. And
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: so I did. I said, Hey, it's been a while
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: since we've talked. I feel like I might have done
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: something to upset you. Let me know when we could
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: have a conversation. And I just left it as that.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: And I didn't know what the response was going to
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: be that I got back, because it could either be
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I'm in my head and it could be a response
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: like that, like you're in your head, there's nothing which
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: has been a little busy, or it could be yeah,
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: you did do something, and I think we do need
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: to have a conversation. But I was down to at
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: least have one of those answers. But I did get
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: a response back, and that response was there was something
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: and I do think we should get on the phone
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: and have a conversation about it. And I thought, okay,
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: like my stomach's turning. Obviously I feel very anxious, but
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I rather have answers to get on the phone.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: And so we finally set up a time to get
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: on the phone. And it was really uncomfortable because I
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: do not like conflict. I don't think many of us do.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, this is a good friend and I
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: want to make sure that we're actually handling it this
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: properly instead of what just letting a friendship just vanish
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: and just never going back to it. And the more
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: time that goes on, the more awkward it gets. And
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: so we have like our little simple conversation like how
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: you doing, what's going on? And then I'm like yeah,
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: and also like let's talk about it, like what I'm
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: sorry if I did anything that upset you, and I
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: want to know what it was so we could actually
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: have the conversation. And what I came away with I
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: thought was a very valuable lesson is that I've been
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: not as intentional or putting as enough effort into the
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: friendship as they were into the relationship. That was what
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: they felt, and it was an interesting perspective because I
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: have looked at my past couple months. I've been busy
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: with work, my own relationship with Brionda, traveling to go
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: see other friends around the country, and I realized they
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: had a good point. I haven't been the one to
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: set up the text, to set up the calls, to
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: set up the hangouts and the runs. And I sat
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: there and I thought to myself, Damn, that's a big
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: reality check. But at the same time, I almost felt
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: and I could say this transparently and I would say
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: this to them as well. I felt unfair in that perspective.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: I felt like I wasn't given an opportunity to share
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: why those things were happening. And I say that because
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: what I told my friend is, yeah, I only have
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: a certain amount of time with Brionda. We only get
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: to hang out on the weekends. And that was immediately
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: a conversation that was oh, I didn't realize that. I
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: said yeah, like, yeah, I thought you did know that,
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: and automatically, like we got a little closer from that moment,
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: and I thought to myself, man, we could have saved
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: ourselves a month of not talking if we would have
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: just been able to close that gap. Yeah, But also
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: I acknowledged with him, I was like, even with that,
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: even as I'm forming this relationship, I also acknowledged that
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: you were right in one somebody that is also putting
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: in and being intentional in the friendship. But now where
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: we stand with that, because it's not like we ended
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: the conversation with a big kumbay all moment of like,
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: oh my god, hugs hang out tomorrow, let's grab brunch.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: It kind of sat in this world of I ended
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: it like this. I said, you know what, I promise
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be more intentional about our friendships and
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: not making you be the only one that reaches out.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: But also I still feel a little awkward. If I
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: could be honest, I think that's normal. I do. I
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: feel a little awkward of now do we still have
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: this weird beef? Does that go away after the first
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: couple hangouts? And what even is the first hangout?
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Well, you won't know until you try.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: That's a good point.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Have you done anything since then? Not?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Since then?
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes you need like a like a postgame chat.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: So I'll give an example of a really bad example
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: of a post game chat that I went through because
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: I had a similar well, the conflict wasn't similar, but
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: I had gotten a really big fight with a friend
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: and we met up to have a conversation and it
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: was really really awkward. We just couldn't see eye to
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: eye on the same issue, and so by the end
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I think that was fine. But
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: I think when I got back in my car, I
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: was like, did I handle that the same way? Like
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: did I get too defensive? And I remember I called
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: this person up just to like double check that we
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: were good. I said, now that we both put like
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: our guns and our swords and our daggers down, I
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: just want you to know that I wish I had
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: approached that a little bit differently. And I'm like on
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: the other end of the phone, sobbing, and she's on
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: the other end like eating Dorito's or something. She's like, yeah,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I was a fine conversation, and that's when I kind
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: of knew. I was like, I'm not sure that we
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: saw this situation the same in terms of the magnitude,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: because I'm like, I felt like you came at me
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: really hard, and then I kind of didn't know what
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: to do with that because I didn't really see eye
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: to eye on the issue. And then I felt like
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: we came to an agreement, but it was it was
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: tough getting there because I was like, I wasn't aware
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: that we were even dealing with this many issues, and
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: then for you to kind of be very flippant about
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: the conflict almost made it worse. Yes, this isn't really
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: setting you up for success.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but what I'm trying to what I'm trying
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: to say is I think you'll get a sense of
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: like how that person's perspective has shifted in your friendship
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: if you have another conversation about it, Like maybe you
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: just go do something casual like a walking coffee and
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: you just go, hey, like are we so good?
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Like this is how I felt after the conversation. How
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: are you feeling?
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: M I do think a post game chat is a
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: good idea because if he.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Still has beef after you have the conflict, then I
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: think that show signs of of a deeper personal issue.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's what I was like kind of thinking.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: I was like the reality that I had to come
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: to grips with and this is tough with certain friendships.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I could give as much effort
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: as some people need.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: That's the problem is when you get into a relationship,
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: you can't get correct. And I hate saying that because
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: I've been through that, and I think especially in your
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: ear twenties, specifically with women, you see it and it's
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: not wrong, Like it's not wrong that your friends that
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: are girls are shifting their priorities to prioritize out of
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: their person. But for so much of your life, especially
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: if you're a single person and you're chronically single, like
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: your friends are the closest people to you, yes, and
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: when something out of your control happens that makes that
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: priority shift on their end, that's really devastating. And that's
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: a kind of grief that they know they shouldn't have
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: because of course, like they want you to find their person,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: but when they also don't have somebody feeling that gap
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: for them, it's it's brutal.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: That is a great perspective of it, because that's how
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I looked at it too. I was like, damn, Like
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: I do want to be celebrated for like finding my person,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Like I thought that would be a thing of like
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you found your person and hey,
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: when you have time, like let's hang out. Yeah, I'd
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, hell yeah. Now I feel
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: a lot award because I'm like, damn, like I know,
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: like there's certain things on the weekends, like I want
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: to spend time with Brionda. I want to enjoy those moments.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: I want to make sure that when we get time together,
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: we truly get make the most out of it. And
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: that also puts in a reality check of other relationships
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: and friendships that I'm like, we could adjust timing, we
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: could change when we hang out. I'm not trying to
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: let friendships go because I don't do that, you know,
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: and we Brionn and I both have that agreement of like,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: our friendships are so important in our lives, those are
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: not going to go anywhere. We just move our schedules around.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: And that's the same with my crazy ass running schedule.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: Now it's the same conversation, is it going to change
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: the schedule? Yes, but I will do my part to
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: make sure that everything still fits into the same puzzle.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: So I do think a postgame chat and I will
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: set something up like that's the challenge for me to
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: continue even when I know it's going to be a
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: little awkward to get back together. It's been a little
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: bit of time, but to at least have a hangout
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: in person, because I don't want the friendship to go away. Yeah,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: I love the friendship.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: I will say I do think it's on you to
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: make the first move. I do too, specifically because that's
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: what the conflict was about.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: That.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I think it's going to go a long way for
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: you to be like, hey, do you want to go
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: for a walk later or run? I don't know what
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: always do. I'm gonna go Mutch Monster trucks together.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: I want to go play race cars, probably do some
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: kind of like run, hang out, maybe work out. Guys
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: are very weird, like we don't just sit in chat.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: We have to have an activity. It's not just like, oh,
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: let's go have a drink. Let's go do an activity.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: And while we're doing the activity, it makes it easier
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: for our brain to come up with emotions. It's weird,
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: but I did get a message and for the other
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: the last it's not even conflict. It's just kind of
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: a funny situation. The one friend that I know is
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: getting married in January, and I don't know if I'm
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: getting invited to the wedding, which again, if they ever
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: hear this, I'm fine with either way. I always will
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: love this person. I also understand that we haven't talked
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: in years. We just slowly have had a couple reunions
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: over the past year, So I don't want them to
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: feel obligated to invite me because of that. But I
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: did get a message from somebody on Instagram when they
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: heard me talking about that on the podcast that was like,
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: do not ask the person if you're going to the wedding.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: That is weird. Assume you are not going make other plans,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: and if you get invited, well, then do what you
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: need in that moment. But don't ask because that makes
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: it weird for him. But I don't know if it.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Does, I know where it makes it's so weird because
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: maybe that person did have to cut you for whatever reason,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: whether it's budgetary restrictions or whatever, like the venues nothing
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: that's so awkward for them to be like, yeah, you're
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: not in mine to the wedding, Like just let just
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: let it be a mutual partying of ways. If they
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: invite you, cool, If not, then whatever. Yeah, then one
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: that's in October nomber. Yeah, I understand wanting to be like, hey,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: like it's coming up. I know you said, or I
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: got sent the invitation, like I'm just double checking. I
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: don't think that's crazy, but I think if it was
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: like a verbal you're coming and it's in January, I
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: wouldn't do anything about it.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and side on the side
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: like I'm not going. I don't think i'm going. I
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: don't think i'm getting invited. Yeah, now, when I get
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: an update that I am, then I would be happy
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: to bring it here.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: It'll be trill.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: But as of right now, it does not seem like
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: I will. And I say that all because I know,
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: like it's just it felt so good to just not
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: just cross those things off a list, but like to
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: free my mind of that anxiety of knowing that there
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: are conversations that we need to have that the more
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: that we just let time sit and that feeling sit,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: you're just putting yourself in this weird position where if
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: it's something that you can control, a conversation or a meeting,
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: that you can set up, set it up for yourself
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: of that anxiety. Because I got started with this because
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: I was like, damn, man, there's so many good things
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: in my life. Why are people trying to fuck up
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: my piece? And I realized that I was actually fucking
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: up my piece. That's a lesson for all. And with that, well,
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: then onto the next one.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Let you know what's our new nickname for my my
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: new boyfriend, my turtle boy.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Friend, turtle boy, turtle boy, turtle boy. What was that
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: mean back in the day, I like turtles.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that one, So we'll call him Turtleboy.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: The Adventures of Turtle Boy.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Oh wait, no, I want to call him turtle Man,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: because that's what we used to call our I was
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: a dazy and our our mascot was the turtle and
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: have a Turtleman every year. Okay, so turtlemn turtle Man.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Well, hopefully by the next podcast we'll have a good
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: update about turtle Man. You can always rate. Some also
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: comment on the podcast. I did see a couple other
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: comments that I wanted to make sure i'd acknowledge, like
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: Danielle who says love the podcast, Poe Cash, love the podcast.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: I wish I could listen in Tampa, but I'm in
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: Atlanta at And then she went on to say, I
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: wonder if the guy said he was in Nashville to
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: have an excuse to not take Abby out that weekend.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: Then when she said that she was in Nashville, he
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: was like, oh shit and didn't know what to say.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking he doesn't look like his profile pick and
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: just wanted a beautiful woman's attention. Well, Danielle, thanks for
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: the comment. I think you spot on with that. Anytime
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: when you read or put your comments in, we could
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: go through the episodes and actually see them and comment
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: back with them. We'll be back probably next week