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67 The Real Reason You're Afraid to Be Seen with Em Roberts · The Rave Social Podcast

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_02: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Rave Social Podcast.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Jaden, and today we have Em as our guest on the podcast.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Em is a somatic practitioner who helps entrepreneurs, creatives, and business owners stop hiding and start showing up by working with their bodies instead of against them.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: She specializes in the nervous system blocks that keep talented people small.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: The tightening, the shrinking, the overperforming that happens the moment they dare to take up space.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Through her scene one-on-one work, Em guides clients to uncover what's really been running the show beneath the surface so they can show up in their businesses in a way that feels real, grounded, and entirely like them.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the podcast, Em.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, thank you so much for having me.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: So good to be here.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're excited to have you.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: And today we're basically just gonna use Em as her wealth of knowledge that she is and talk about the real reason you are afraid to be seen and why maybe that is kind of like holding back your business and life growth.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so excited.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: Me too.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I know that you specialize in helping entrepreneurs overcome visibility blocks through specifically somatic work, which if you guys don't know what somatic work is, we've talked about it a little on the podcast, but it's like body work.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um so for someone who's never heard of that before, what is a visibility block and how do you believe it's rooted in the body?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you think mindset work isn't enough alone to break through this?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing question.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, visibility block is anything that stops you from like fully expressing yourself, whether that's like on Instagram, like speaking, wherever that may be, it's something that's kind of holding you back.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it might look like procrastinating or like editing your captions, or I know like Yap um videos are really viral at the moment, but like never showing up on camera, or like you've got that spicy opinion, but you don't really want to share it.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of in those little moments that these visibility blocks show up, and yeah, it is a mindset thing, but it's also like biological in our body because being seen is quite vulnerable, we're really putting ourselves out there, and there's a risk of when we're being seen, we're like asking ourselves to be judged or like take up space, we might get a response, so our body can associate visibility with a threat.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, I have a client, and she suddenly then didn't want to show up in stories, and I was like, Oh, when what do you think like brought that forward?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, Oh, last time I did a free challenge, nobody signed up, so I don't want to show up and promote my challenge again.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like these little moments your body remembers and kind of brings in.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so if your body associates visibility with being a threat, it will keep kind of self-protecting and mindset work I love, but it kind of just goes to the thoughts where a somatic work changes that experience in your body.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: I love how you explain that.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: And we've I've had my breath work mentors on the podcast before, and so most people listening have probably heard about that and learned about a little of the somatic work we've done there, but it's just so interesting how, like, I'm sure everyone has heard the body keep score.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: But it is so interesting, like as you start to do somatic work, you really start to understand what that means.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's not just a phrase people use, it's true, and it can come from lived experiences.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: I also think sometimes it can come from watching other people.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like, for example, if you, if one of your favorite influencers or someone that you really look up to, if you've watched them like get canceled or have something bullying or something like that happen to them, I think sometimes we can even use that as like proof and almost like this sounds dramatic, but almost kind of like take on that trauma a little bit through experiencing it, and it makes you want to not be seen because you don't want that to happen to you.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's such a good point, or like your business bestie likes something happens, you like see them pull back, it might make you pull back as well, or like, yeah, all these things kind of influence how we show up.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, I definitely think that can be true.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think another thing I see my clients specifically experience, which may be less somatic, I don't know, but um, we have to know like their lived experiences, but like they have a fear of being perceived like the wrong way, and so they're like, I know I'm a good person and I know I'm coming from a good place, but what if someone sees what I've posted or said or whatever and they take it the wrong way?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever had clients experience that?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like all the time, that's a super common one, and it can like often come from people pleasing, trying to make sure that people, um, yeah, like you say, perceive them in the right way, and also it's that fawn response.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So we have um fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And fawn is like when you just kind of want to appease people, so it's a really good one to kind of catch yourself and be like, Am I doing this for me or am I doing it for somebody else?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that, and it kind of leads to my next question that I have for you, and that is how does somatic work actually help someone move through a visiting block?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm curious if you have a process that you've led clients through, or kind of a framework that you follow to help bring those.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so for me it always starts with awareness, so kind of checking in with your body, like what's going on.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's so easy for us to have a feeling and then like start scrolling or moving on.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: But emotional cycles actually only last 90 seconds.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: So if we can take that time and be like, Oh, what am I feeling in this moment?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's going on, and pause and listen to your body.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I love asking, like, what does my body need to feel nourished?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it might be like before you share your stories.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: This actually happened to me yesterday.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I filmed them in my garden and they were a bit like meh, and I was like, Okay, because I'm doing talking heads, I want to feel confident in what I'm sharing.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I went on a walk and I actually recorded them on my walk, and I'd moved my body, I'd kind of let go of the meh stories from before, and like came back to it from a place that was like grounded and not like caught up in that oh my god, I like kept looking at my notes for those stories and looked really silly.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think something that's really important to share when I'm talking about safety, it's like the goal here isn't always to eliminate fear, there's always gonna be like a bit of fear, it's a bit of the human experience, and I have a theory that business owners kind of like a little bit of fear because we're doing something outside of the box, but it's to increase your capacity to kind of hold that fear and not abandon yourself.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: I am obsessed with that, yeah.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: I that's so funny.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: I saw something on Pinterest earlier today that was along the same lines about like it's not always about like for stress, for example, it's not always about like getting rid of the stress and how comfortable can my life be.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's more so how can I hold the stress?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: How can I hold the fear?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: How can I be like be scared of being seen and also take the steps I need to do to be seen at the same time?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like they they can work together.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be, you don't have to completely calm the fear.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: And it kind of makes me think of like when you're a kid, a lot of things are scary.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're new, you're new to the world, you're new to earth, you're new to being human, all these things, and a lot of fears can come up, but if you always just tried to satiate that feeling and never tried to actually do the thing you were afraid to do, you just would never progress in life.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like we have to do things that we're afraid to do.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think what you teach, and you can expand on this, is like doing it in a safe way, like feeling safe through it and not pushing an unhealthy amount.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it kind of makes me think about when we're learning to walk, like we fall over all the time.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if your mum's like really supportive about when you fall over, it doesn't make a big deal, and then you get back up and walk again.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: But if your inner voice is criticizing yourself when you fall, and I think it's being willing, like I'm a somatic practitioner, it's called a practice, a practitioner because it's a practice, and we like we want to be in the practice of visibility, and it's yeah, it ebbs and flows, but not being that one, like, oh, you fell over, it's getting back up and trying again.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so when we're talking about working with your body, which is just somatic work, what does that look for someone who look like for someone who is trying to consistently show up and be seen?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: Is it a daily practice?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: How do you support them with that?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I think something really important to recognize is like everyone's completely unique, everyone's got different nervous systems, and if you are a woman, your your nervous system changes during your cycle, and you might need different things, like in the luteo phase, your self-talk might be a little bit more, so you might need a little bit more nourishment and support, but I think for me it's always about being in nature and like walks and getting out and leaving my phone behind because scrolling just starts comparison for me, and then I think just thinking, can I take a breath before I share my post today, or can I just like check in with my heart and be like, what do I want to share, or like what energy do I want to bring to this share?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And like remember that this is actually all about connection, you want to be visible to make connections with people, and I think that's coming from like service because you love what you do, so just remembering that as well.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think visibility is all about self-trust, and like how can you build self-trust with yourself?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, is that like oh, I'm gonna work out three times, and actually, instead of scrolling, doing these workouts and building that trust with yourself.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: That is so major, and I this is what I tell our clients anytime they start with us on content co-pilot, is like we write five posts a week for them.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: But I always say, like, you have you can't, if you've posted zero times in the past month, you're not just gonna go straight to posting five times a week because you don't have any proof that you're capable of doing that.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: And by setting the expectation that you're gonna show up five times a week when you haven't shown up five times a week ever in your life, you're setting yourself up to break, break that trust, right?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're just gonna prove to yourself that you can't do it and you're not consistent enough and all these things.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: So one thing that we have them start with is three posts a week.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: And for the first literally three months, and every time they're like, What do you mean?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because like you're writing five.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what do you mean?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, Yeah, I'm writing five posts, but you choose the three that you trust yourself to post, and then you're gonna build a track record over time of like proof that you can actually do what you said you're going to do.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: And that self-trust is that is actually the biggest hurdle that they have to overcome.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's not a creative thing, it's not that they're not capable, it's nothing like that, it's just trusting that they they're gonna do what they said they were gonna do.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, that's just I think that goes for like anyone in life.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if you don't trust yourself to do what you said, like you're not gonna do it.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I like completely agree.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that the way that you work, you get your clients to like read and post the posts themselves, and like giving them the ownership, and like I was thinking they get to read the posts, and then they get to kind of put their energy behind the post when they share it.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was a major thing when I started doing social media management, is just I could see how people were so disconnected from their content, and especially when they would hire an agency to do it, it was like black and white, honestly.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like, as soon as, as soon as it didn't matter how strategic, how perfect, how anything the content was, as soon as they had no reason to touch it, it didn't perform well, and that's why I created all of our offers the way that I did, because I'm like, you have to be involved.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's not something that you can completely outsource because it's you, like you, this is your personal brand.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: This is you, like you have to have uh some stake in the game, or else it's not gonna do the things you want it to do, and you may have a perspective on that that has to do with visibility, I don't know, but um yeah, I just think it's important to be involved in your content, yeah.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And like I love that you recognize that like their energy needs to be behind it, and I think yeah, that's what I agree with, and like yeah, like you said, it's your personal brand.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're not seeing the content, then like how are you weaving who you are in it?
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that, yeah.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm curious the difference between like okay, creating safety in your body versus trying to build confidence.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: This kind of goes what we were saying about building trust.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what what is what's the difference between the actual like somatic physical part of that and then the like commitment to doing it and executing?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's like a really good question.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: And like we said, I think quite a lot of business owners are confident or they have like a level of confidence, they've put themselves out there, like it is a risk to run a business, and then I I would say, like we were saying before, that missing piece is that self-trust, and like that's where we want to build that self-trust and the safety.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um so safety is your like body believing it can survive being seen, judged, or misunderstood and perceived.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I think, yeah, confidence can maybe be a little bit cerebral or temporary, but creating that safety and self-trust, you kind of build on it and compound.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think as you get grow more safety, your confidence builds as well.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that self-trust and safety builds your confidence because you can like walk with that fear of showing up, if that makes sense.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that makes so much sense.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: I think what you've said is so real about business owners, like you know, we like a little fear, we like a little risk.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's you know, that's why we did what we're doing.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I also think with business ownership, can you it attracts a lot of high achievers overperformers, which is why we see people do really well, burn out, we see these cycles.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm curious um what you believe about that being a nervous system response and how yeah, how do you address that?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's such a great question.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: And like I think we can often see like overperforming as like ambition, and it's quite celebrated, and there are like really good parts of it, and even though I love like my soft life and like going to the beach, like building a business is hard and it does require like a certain level of hustle, and I'm never gonna be someone that doesn't like acknowledge that, but I think yeah, that overperforming when it's a nervous system response kind of looks like trying to be a perfectionist so nobody can criticize you or like over-deliver so that you can be accepted by your clients and overworking and over-explaining and over-approving, and like there's so much over that it becomes kind of exhausting because you're managing everyone else's perception instead of actually expressing yourself and like who you really are, and yeah, visibility to me is really an act of self-expression, but that overperforming often comes from that um flight nervous system response.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you're kind of doing that training, you're like you'll never kind of get there, so you're always kind of flighting and moving around, and I think that can really learn to lead to um burnout as well.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever like relate to overperforming?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know like a lot of business owners do.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, I feel like that's actually been a major like lesson in the last like year, 18 months of my business.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: And it's funny because I have the perspective, my husband is works a corporate job, he's an engineer.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so I have the perspective of him being an employee and working for a corporation, and he has good boundaries with like what he'll do, right?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's not his business, it's not he he's a great employee, but at some point you're not the owner, you gotta do what's within your your job, right?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so I can watch him and see how he has these boundaries and it creates a nice life for him.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: And then how I let a client doesn't like something, and I instead of just being like how he and how he would respond to it, I want to over-respond, I want to go above and beyond, I want to do too much, I want to try to make them believe that I'm as good as I know that I am, if that makes sense, instead of being okay with sometimes people not liking me or what I did, or you know, it's like it's just it's really interesting and it does make you want to overperform.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: But I think one thing that has really that really shifted that for me is earlier this year I had a miscarriage and my capacity was so limited, like very quickly, right?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: It was like, oh, everything's fine.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: Now you're experiencing grief and trauma, and you just don't have the capacity that you that I had before.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: And it made me be like, you cannot be like an overperformer because then when your capacity is limited and all you can do is what you are supposed to do, yeah, then it looks like you're underperforming, and it's like, no, I'm still meeting every requirement that was asked of me.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just not over-delivering in the way that I used to, because I don't have the capacity to.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: And that really shifted my perspective on how to deliver a great experience and a quality service without doing too much and trying to save my clients and trying to be perfect because that's impossible.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'm yeah, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and it's like such a heavy time.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I also think it shows like life happens as a business owner, and actually, sometimes those times when our capacities reduced, we like learn so much from them because yeah, like you said, you you have to reduce and you're still hitting your targets, and then when you come out of that, you can realise actually, no, this is the new level I'm gonna work at, and it's probably gonna support you and your body so much more moving forward.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's just a lot to always be overperforming, and I also think there's a side of that that is we've kind of talked about this, but it's like you don't want to be seen as bad or not good or whatever, and so over overperforming can be like a protection from that possibly happening in your your life, you know?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally something that.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: That I work with my clients on is kind of seeing your business as a separate entity, even though like we self-create them, and a lot of us are solo entrepreneurs, or you work with the team, but you're managing your team.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of seeing your business as a um like the spirit of your business, and I think that can be so helpful because it's a little bit more woo-woo, but you're kind of seeing it as that separate entity, and I think that helps kind of take yourself out of it and be like, actually, this is my business, but it's not like completely me, because I think we can over-identify with our business, yeah, and then any any criticism that others might have, or even you might have, like, there are there's definitely seasons where it's time to look at the business and see what needs to change, you know.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: But when you look at it crit critically, but it's separate from you, it doesn't feel like you're you're the one, like you are bad, or anything like that.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's just like this needs to change in the business, it's not about you.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: One thing you talk about a lot is authenticity, and I think it's obviously a buzzword, like people say that all the time.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm curious what your perspective on showing up authentically is.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you know if you're showing up authentically versus posting what you think you should post?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I absolutely love this question, and to me, all authenticity is is like sharing what feels true in that moment, and it might feel different, like in a different moment, but I think does this feel like true to me?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that can be so helpful if you're like stuck in a bit of comparison, or like sometimes we've got like our old coach's voice in our head telling us how to write content, and we need to let like so real, it's so real.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's a structure in my head that an old coach had, and I like constantly was writing content like that, and I was like, No, I need to like free myself from a box.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I think often it's just taking a moment and being like, Yeah, is this actually me that I'm sharing?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes we have these like questions that come from our like fear state of being like, Will people like this?
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: or what if I'm too much?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Managing how you're being perceived, and I think noticing when that's coming up because it will affect your authenticity, but yeah, being like, Is this true?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I think like we we do perform when we show up online, we are putting our best foot forward, and I like don't kind of deny that performance, and I don't actually think it's a bad thing, like doing theatre is an act of self-expression as well.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I think kind of giving yourself a bit of a permission slip to be like, Oh, that's me performing.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me think of Beyoncé and like her Sasha Fierce, and like I think sometimes that can be helpful as well, and that we've kind of got like authenticity is the real you, but it's the version of you that's true in that moment.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: I am obsessed with that perspective.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: I've never heard someone explain it that way, but you are 100% right.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like, in a way, we are performing, like in a way, it is like that, and I think because there was like an era of social media where people were like, be vulnerable, be honest, whatever.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is a highlight reel.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: You always hear people like bitch about that, which I'm like, of course it's a highlight reel.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: Of course it is.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, go touch grass.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm just kidding, but like it really is because it is a performance, like to a degree, and that doesn't make it dishonest.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, like you're not it's not lying, you're just showing what needs to be shown for the support of your business or or a creative expression that you want to have.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I think when I like accepted that, that yeah, I am in some ways performing or I am show I am putting my best foot forward, it gave me such a bigger permission slip.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, like you said, there was that kind of season of like we need to be vulnerable, and I think vulnerability is important, and I've had like I share about my autoimmune condition and like my fatigue, and I've been celebrated for vulnerability, but like some seasons I don't have capacity to share that, and that doesn't make me inauthentic, it's true to what my body needs in that moment.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I just love that perspective, and permission is major.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: If somebody comes to you, they've been hiding for years, and but they know they're like I want to, but or I need to, but I don't know.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_02: Where do you have them start?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm, that's such a good question.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna imagine that they're in a scene session and they've come to me, and yeah, they're like, I've been hiding for years, so I I and I relate to that, like that's why I created scene, like definitely through my teenage years and like early 20s, I was like hiding my true self, and it feels horrible.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: It literally gave me anxiety, and because I wasn't me, I was just constantly holding back, and that shows up in your body.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, so they if they come to my scene session, we always start with like grounding in the body, coming back to the body, even like feeling the body.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: I've got some clients that even feeling their body is like a big expansion edge, um, because we can be so stuck in our heads, and then like looking at when my client first had that feeling that they wanted to be hidden, and a lot of that's inner child work going back to that time in their childhood, like what's brought that protective pattern forward, and having a voice with that part of them, and it's really like tender work, but we do it so gently and like at the pace of the client, and your body like will tell you what it needs.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: That wisdom's like within you, um, how you can nourish that part of you that wants to hide, and then like there's a thing in somatic work which I love that's called titration, so it's like this dripping of a tap, these like little drips.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, how can you show up in these really small ways that build instead of like a massive gush of water where it takes your body to a place where you're like oh this is too much, and sort of puts you back in that nervous system response?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how can we be really gentle with yourself?
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I often find like that's the best way to work with your body is like gently but like consistently.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and with like with precision, like we're we're working on we're working on undoing the layers of the onion for this specific issue.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be you don't have to unravel your entire childhood's worth of trauma or problems, like it can be on a yeah, like a slow drip.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes we can find that we can see that work as like intimidating or overwhelming, but often it's just there's an emotion that needs to be expressed, and it emo these emotions can feel quite sticky, but like I was saying earlier, they're only 90 seconds.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: So once you actually feel them, then they're processed, which is incredible.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: Can you share an experience?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_02: It could be either your own story or a client story where you worked with them on them somatically and then it changed how they show up.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can think of a really good client's story.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: So they are like a service-based business and um they have this amazing service that they deliver, and they came to my scene session, and like a lot of the work was around self-worth and people pleasing and kind of being like keeping themselves small to please those around them, and then we like did the process that I spoke about earlier with them, and then I was like, What's the change that you want to take into your business from this session?
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, I'm gonna double my prices, and I was like, Okay, amazing, go for it.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is incredible.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so she doubled her prices, and then that next week she already sold a spot, and it yeah, which was in I was like, This was amazing, and it just shows that that like deeper work around self-worth.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she could like kind of detach herself from her business and actually see, no, I'm like charging half of what I should, and then she charged what felt like aligned and made a sale.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: That is amazing.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: I love that so much.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I have some rapid fire questions, which we don't have to go, we don't have to make them as rapid as possible.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: But um uh I'm curious, what's one business belief that you had to unlearn?
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is such a good one to like let go of other people's shirts and do what feels real for me and my body.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, yes.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: That is so major.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm gonna make this not a rapid fire, but I actually posted, I think it was yesterday, about a coach, an experience with a coach that I had who is a lovely person and and really not I have nothing bad to say about her, but that experience of working with someone that was misaligned with me put all these all of those same things, like all these shoulds in my mind.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like it should go like this, this is how your content should be, should, should, should.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_02: And then I seriously went through like a six-month period where I was like, I couldn't post on Instagram, like I was like, I don't even know what to post because like I I just have all these things that aren't mine in the way of doing it.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it was really interesting.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: I also think part of it is I could tell that I was kind of like uh muse to her content.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like I she would talk about me often, not literally.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_02: I could just tell based on like a conversation that we had had, right?
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: And then something she posted.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I felt like no matter what, I whatever I posted, I was gonna become like uh her next post or whatever, and it was really uncomfortable for me.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: So then I was like hiding, and I really had to a lot of it was through breath work, but I really had to like undo that and be like, you knew what you were doing before you listen to someone else, and you still know what you're doing, like you have to let go of those those shoulds, honestly.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's such a good lesson to learn, and I think like when and now when you look for mentorship, you're gonna look for someone that guides you back to yourself, and I think that's the most important part of like looking for a mentor, whether that's business coaching or somatic work, are they like guiding you back to yourself or just like putting a framework on you?
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that framework, like it just won't work because it won't land in your body.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's so it's so real, it's just funny.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you can't just apply someone else's strategy or framework to yourself, like it just doesn't work, it's not for you, you know?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: Or parts of it might be, but parts of it might not.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's you need discernment, yeah.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, my other my next rapid fire is what is one thing entrepreneurs are overcomplicating?
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, the for this one it's content.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think we can get so lost in like the hooks and the framework, but your energy matters more than like the actual content.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if your energy and your vibe is feeling good in the content, I think people feel that way more.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even in a carousel, I think you can like feel it than any hook you can do.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, agree.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what's your favorite way to regulate your nervous system?
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh walking in nature is like my number one.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: I try and get out every day, and then I love sea swimming because of the like in the UK the sea is quite cold, so I get like a nice rush, um, which is fun.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then, like you, I love breath work, and I'm not a I don't hold breath work or like know or I know about it for the like regulating the side, but it's nice to not be in that practitioner mindset and just receive breath work.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: I love that about breath work.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm all when I have calls with my mentors, I'm like, perfect, it's my turn to like not be on.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have to do anything, it's so nice.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, if you could instantly remove one fear from every entrepreneur, what would it be?
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: It would be the fear of being too much.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think that fear like makes us water down and like hold back and make it all less playful.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish people could just take up space and be seen.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: I freaking love that.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: I saw someone post on Instagram the other day, and it was like, maybe you are too much for whatever person thinks you're too much, but there's all of these other people that don't think that you're too much.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: So stop like letting it's hard, but like stop letting someone who maybe does think you're too much, maybe it was your parents growing up or whatever, stop you from reaching all the people who don't think that you're too much.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: I thought that was really interesting.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so good.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you yeah, like you say, if you show up as you who you are, then your people can magnetize to you.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't actually show who you are, people can't see you and work with you.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you end up attracting.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_02: I had another podcast this recording this morning, and we talked about how you end up attracting the wrong client because it's you're you're not showing up as you, so they're attracted to whatever version of you you're deciding to share, which is probably not the client that you actually want to work with.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's interesting, yeah.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: That's so real.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_02: And what is the biggest myth about authenticity?
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I think that it means you have to share everything online that like I think you can pick and choose what you want to share and like what you feel comfortable with, and like you can share from the scar, not the wound, and take your time.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like slowly finding your edges, I think is so valuable.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's a practice that we take our clients through.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we'll be like, Okay, we're gonna plan you a post that like it's gonna feel edgy, and then they'll post it and be like, Oh, it obviously gets like a fantastic response, like it will.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_02: And they're like, Oh, okay, like I see, and it's it's just about, yeah, I think finding your edges slowly over time and pushing them at a comfortable pace, like you don't have to share every single thing, but um, opening up a little bit is is the vibe.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and my last question for you is if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that question.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it would be like you don't have to earn the right to take up space, you already belong.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I I think that's really important because I like look back at my like baby and I'm like you're whole and complete and worthy just exactly as you are.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_02: I love that so much.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's so sweet and so true, that's so good.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, is there anything else you want to share with um the listeners?
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have a new cohort starting or can they book scene sessions just whenever?
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: So scene sessions are available um like monthly, and if anything's like landed in today's podcast, just DM me at um at um Robert Somatic and we can chat.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: And like I'd love to hold space for you in a scene session and like uncover those parts of you that are hiding so you can be seen this summer and get paid as well.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm also running a free challenge called Make Waves, which even after it's live, it will still be available where you can like really step into your visibility and make waves and be seen.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: I love that so much, and you are just a true embodiment of your work.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_02: I've been following you for I think at least this whole year now.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think I found you through Liv's trial reels challenge or something like that.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but you are an embodiment of your work because you absolutely like walk, you walk the walk.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like I see, I see you posting and and being visible, and I love that so much, just makes me trust ya.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's yeah, that's really important to me.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: Is like I love sharing like what I'm doing for my body and like where I'm at, and like where can I push my visibility edges as well.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's like a big part of what I share on Instagram.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_02: I love it, and I appreciate you so much for sharing your knowledge on the podcast today.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for being here.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: I've loved it.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we'll talk soon.
• 40:54
  unknown: Bye.