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Are Women Still Ambitious—or Has Our Definition of Success Changed? · Rock My Finances

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  Speaker 3: Welcome to the Rock My Finances show on K4HD Radio
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  Speaker 3: and Talk4TV, where we put the fun in finance. Join
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  Speaker 3: powerhouse Jennifer Jost, CDFA, CMC, and private wealth advisor, as
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  Speaker 3: she collaborates with you to create clarity, control, and confidence
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  Speaker 3: with your money, your way. It's not about the zeros,
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  Speaker 3: so what is it all about? Let's find out. Now,
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  Speaker 3: here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jost.
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  Speaker 1: Hey y'all, welcome to Rock My Finance. Today we're going
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  Speaker 1: to talk about ambition. Are women still ambitious? Or has
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  Speaker 1: our definition of success actually might change? So I want
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  Speaker 1: to reclaim the word ambitious for women. It used to
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  Speaker 1: be really good and then I think it got a
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  Speaker 1: negative connotation because somewhere along the way, ambition got packed
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  Speaker 1: into being a very masculine looking boss.
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  Speaker 2: Ambitious. So climb, achieve, compete.
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  Speaker 1: Earn, win, get the title, get the office, get the house,
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  Speaker 1: get the next promotion, keep going. And then women entered
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  Speaker 1: the world and proved that we could do it too.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, we built our careers. We created businesses.
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  Speaker 1: There's so many business women, business owners out there that
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  Speaker 1: are amazing. We earned degrees. We manage teams. We raise
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  Speaker 1: children and we raise children and work. We took care
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  Speaker 1: of our parents. managed whole household estates, many estates, and
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  Speaker 1: became really, really good at everything. And then some of
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  Speaker 1: us woke up one morning and thought, I don't know
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  Speaker 1: if I want to do this anymore. This is exhausting.
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  Speaker 1: Does that mean that we've lost our ambition?
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  Speaker 2: Hell no.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe our ambition matured. Maybe our ambition says at 25,
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  Speaker 1: I want to prove what I can do now. And
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  Speaker 1: at 55, it says, I already know I can do that.
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  Speaker 1: Now I want to decide, What deserves my energy? That
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  Speaker 1: is not giving up. That is wisdom. This is where
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  Speaker 1: diamond life becomes so important. Your diamond life isn't the
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  Speaker 1: life that looks most impressive to anybody else. Your diamond
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  Speaker 1: life feels most aligned with you and who you are.
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  Speaker 1: Women need permission to redefine success throughout our lives. Actually,
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  Speaker 1: scratch that. We don't need permission, but that's the whole point.
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  Speaker 1: We feel like we need permission. At our 25, success
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  Speaker 1: might be the title. At 35, it might be actually
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  Speaker 1: building the business. At 45, we need to be financially independent.
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  Speaker 1: At 55, we have the financial freedom. Now at 65,
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  Speaker 1: I'm 62. Now at 65, it might be, what's my
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  Speaker 1: purpose at this point?
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  Speaker 2: And you know what?
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  Speaker 1: At 75, you might want to reinvent your whole self
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  Speaker 1: all over again. There's no finish line here where women
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  Speaker 1: have to say, okay, this is who I am forever.
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  Speaker 1: That is just not our lifespan. We evolve continuously. But
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  Speaker 1: there's another side to this conversation. Sometimes women say my
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  Speaker 1: priorities have changed when what really happened to me is
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  Speaker 1: I just got tired of fighting. I got tired of
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  Speaker 1: being passed over. I got tired of not being supported
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  Speaker 1: in a marriage or in a relationship or in corporate
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  Speaker 1: world or at work. I just got exhausted. They spent
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  Speaker 1: years being the only woman in the room. They were
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  Speaker 1: expected to perform and to be likable while they're doing it,
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  Speaker 1: which is a joke. Eventually, I don't want it anymore
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  Speaker 1: is what they say. I just don't want it anymore.
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  Speaker 1: It can be a way to protect ourselves from admitting
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  Speaker 1: I wanted it and I got tired of paying the
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  Speaker 1: price to get it.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, isn't that different? That's powerful. And I want you
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  Speaker 2: to know which one is true for you.
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  Speaker 1: Did your dream change or did you stop believing you
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  Speaker 1: actually could have it? Those require very different coaching. Because
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  Speaker 1: of your dream, if your dream genuinely changed.
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  Speaker 2: Let's honor it. Let's talk about it. Let's do it.
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  Speaker 2: Let's set the course for it.
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  Speaker 1: But if fear, disappointment, or just plain exhaustion buried your dream,
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  Speaker 1: don't call the burial.
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  Speaker 2: Balance, right?
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  Speaker 1: Let's dig a little bit deeper in that. Maybe the
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  Speaker 1: dream doesn't need to die. Maybe the method needs to change.
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  Speaker 1: That's powerful. I can say one thing for me on this.
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  Speaker 1: I have been, I definitely, female in finance, right? It's
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  Speaker 1: less than, I don't even know. I feel like I'm
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  Speaker 1: less than 10% of the room always. And being with
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  Speaker 1: so many different companies that I've been with, I've been
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  Speaker 1: fighting with all of these companies to hear me in
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  Speaker 1: a woman's voice and do things the woman's way in
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  Speaker 1: my head, right?
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  Speaker 2: It's always putting the client first.
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  Speaker 1: It's always looking at all life, fans of the client
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  Speaker 1: because we all evolve.
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  Speaker 2: And not all companies do that. So it gets very exhausting.
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  Speaker 1: And I feel like I've been fighting and fighting and
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  Speaker 1: fighting to just get something simple.
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  Speaker 2: So that's coming. That's coming though.
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  Speaker 1: And my partner is in her 30s, younger than I am,
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  Speaker 1: which totally supports me and helps me see the world
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  Speaker 1: completely different than I would at 62, ready to be
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  Speaker 1: just given up here. So if you're in the place
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  Speaker 1: that I've been at, exhausted, tired, burnout, grab somebody younger.
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  Speaker 1: Let's let them spark your ambition again, right? Let's let
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  Speaker 1: them get you sparked up again because dreams can.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely come true.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, women sometimes believe that ambition means just doing more, more, more, more, more, more.
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  Speaker 1: But what if your next ambition is actually doing less
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  Speaker 1: and doing less is what matters?
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  Speaker 2: What if success?
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  Speaker 1: What if success to you is having enough money and
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  Speaker 1: enough time to enjoy it? What if ambition is leaving
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  Speaker 1: a job that impresses everybody else, completely drains you and
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  Speaker 1: just exhausts you? What if ambition is starting a new
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  Speaker 1: business at 60? Hello, 62, doing it again, loving it,
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  Speaker 1: loving it. What if ambition is finally charging what you
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  Speaker 1: are worth? What if ambition is just retiring, starting a
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  Speaker 1: whole new business?
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  Speaker 2: Lease online. What if ambition is just taking Fridays off?
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  Speaker 1: And what if ambition is becoming financially independent enough that
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  Speaker 1: you never have to stay anywhere because you need that paycheck?
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  Speaker 1: That is a financial goal I wish more women talked about.
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  Speaker 1: Not just accumulating money, but creating choice. Money is powerful, man.
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  Speaker 2: I love money.
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  Speaker 1: Money is powerful because it creates option. Should I stay
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  Speaker 1: or should I go now? I would sing to you,
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  Speaker 1: but you might turn me off.
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: It creates options at work. Do we want to work more?
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  Speaker 1: Do we want to work here? Do we want to
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  Speaker 1: change our work?
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  Speaker 2: Do we want to retire? Do we want to give?
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  Speaker 2: Do we want to help someone else? Do we want
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  Speaker 2: to say no? Do we want to start over? Do
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  Speaker 2: we want to take the trip? I just got back
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  Speaker 2: from a beach trip. It was awesome. Do we want
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  Speaker 2: to build a new company? I'm building a new company.
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  Speaker 2: Do we want to give it away?
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  Speaker 1: I'm definitely doing that. That's why I want women building wealth.
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  Speaker 1: I want you to love money and build wealth, not
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  Speaker 1: so that we can stare at our account balances, but
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  Speaker 1: so we can create lives with our options. That is
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  Speaker 1: diamond life wealth, y'all. And here's what I think women
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  Speaker 1: have an enormous opportunity. Stop borrowing from somebody else's scoreboard
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  Speaker 1: on what they think you should have. Maybe you don't
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  Speaker 1: need to make that million dollars and maybe you do.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe you don't want a hundred employees. Maybe you want five.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe you don't want that C-suite and that corner office
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  Speaker 1: and all that that comes with it. Maybe you just
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  Speaker 1: want something that feels good while you're there during the
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  Speaker 1: day and you can leave at four o'clock. There's no
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  Speaker 1: empowerment in chasing a life that you don't actually want.
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  Speaker 2: Ask yourself.
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  Speaker 1: The real power is having enough self-awareness to say, that's impressive,
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  Speaker 1: but it's not my dream. And having enough courage to say,
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  Speaker 1: this is my dream.
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  Speaker 2: So here's your homework.
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  Speaker 1: Build your own diamond life scoreboard. Forget your title for
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  Speaker 1: a Forget your income. Forget what your friends are doing.
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  Speaker 1: Forget what LinkedIn says. Forget what your parents expected you
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  Speaker 1: to do all along. Forget what looked impressive with your
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  Speaker 1: group of friends or your neighborhood or whatever. Answer these questions.
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  Speaker 1: Number one, what do I want more of in the
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  Speaker 1: next five years?
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  Speaker 2: Great question.
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  Speaker 1: I want more love, more money, more time, more clients.
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  Speaker 1: Number two, what do I want less of? For me,
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  Speaker 1: it's always less stress, less drama, less chaos. I want
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  Speaker 1: more streamlined processes. How much money is enough money for
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  Speaker 1: the life I actually want? Not what a financial advisor
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  Speaker 1: is telling you you have to have, not what.
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  Speaker 2: The commercials say.
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  Speaker 1: Remember, we used to walk around with that great big
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  Speaker 1: orange number from, I think it was ING.
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  Speaker 2: We had to have this ungodly huge number to retire.
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  Speaker 2: That's not true.
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  Speaker 1: You need to find out for you how much money
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  Speaker 1: for you and your lifestyle creates the life that you
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  Speaker 1: actually want. ask yourself, what am I still trying to prove?
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  Speaker 1: And to who am I trying to prove it? Now
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  Speaker 1: I can say for me, that's always a big one
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  Speaker 1: because in this financial world, as a woman, we're supposed
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  Speaker 1: to look a certain.
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  Speaker 2: Way in my little girl wounded self, right?
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  Speaker 1: Like when I sold my house during COVID, I felt
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  Speaker 1: less than because I did not own a house. I
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  Speaker 1: didn't own a house for many years. I traveled around
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  Speaker 1: and rented and it was really hard because I owned
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  Speaker 1: my first house at 19. So I From 19 to what, 57.
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  Speaker 2: Or eight, I owned a house.
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  Speaker 1: So it was weird not to own a house. Now,
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  Speaker 1: who am I trying to prove that to, right? And why,
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  Speaker 1: why am I trying to do that? So I needed
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  Speaker 1: to look at that and be okay with my choices.
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  Speaker 1: It took me a little bit of self-awareness there. So
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  Speaker 1: I'm the same way as y'all, like we all have
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  Speaker 1: our stuff, right? Ask yourself, what goal am I chasing?
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  Speaker 1: Simply because I've been chasing it for so long. Like,
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  Speaker 1: We get stuck in a dream as well. Like this
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  Speaker 1: is our dream. This is my dream. This is what
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  Speaker 1: I think my dream is. Well, let's reevaluate that. I'm
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  Speaker 1: chasing this goal. Why?
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  Speaker 2: Why am I chasing this?
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  Speaker 1: There was a time that I was chasing the goal
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  Speaker 1: to have this great big company and to have right
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  Speaker 1: before COVID actually, and to have, you know, several advisors. And,
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  Speaker 1: you know, I wanted to have a therapist and a
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  Speaker 1: real estate person and an attorney and a coach and
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  Speaker 1: a workout person and everything that a woman needs in
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  Speaker 1: her life.
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  Speaker 2: In one building.
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  Speaker 1: I actually rented the building right before COVID. And then
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  Speaker 1: I was going to sign it. And I just, something
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  Speaker 1: came over me and said, don't do it. And I just,
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  Speaker 1: COVID hit like two days later.
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  Speaker 2: Thank goodness.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm glad I did not sign that lease, but
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  Speaker 1: that has all, that was always a dream for me.
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  Speaker 1: And I had that for years and years and years
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  Speaker 1: and years and COVID hit. It was, it allowed me
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  Speaker 1: to look at, well, what do I really want? Leaving
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  Speaker 1: an office and not being tied down to a desk
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  Speaker 1: was freaking amazing. Like I've loved it. I've absolutely loved it.
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  Speaker 1: To spend all that money on keeping an office going
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  Speaker 1: because that seems successful in my head. That seems successful
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  Speaker 1: to everyone. Well, we've all kind of shifted that a
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  Speaker 1: little bit. Success now is being able to live the
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  Speaker 1: life that you want to live. Like it's very different
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  Speaker 1: than it used to be. So what goal are you
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  Speaker 1: chasing that you're just simply used to chasing? What dream
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  Speaker 1: have you quietly put away? Then finish this sentence. If
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  Speaker 1: nobody could see my life from the outside, Nobody's looking
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  Speaker 1: at you. Nobody has an opinion. How would you define
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  Speaker 1: your success? That's a tough one because I mean, I'm
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  Speaker 1: in finance, so that's money, right?
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  Speaker 2: I'm in the money world.
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  Speaker 1: So that's your diamond life scoreboard. Now look at your
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  Speaker 1: calendar and look at your bank account. Do they reflect
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  Speaker 1: that definition that you just wrote down for yourself? Because
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  Speaker 1: what we say matters to us and what receives our
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  Speaker 1: time and money aren't always the same thing. So we
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  Speaker 1: want to look at our values and is our checkbook
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  Speaker 1: talking for our values? Is our time talking to our values?
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  Speaker 1: If you want to volunteer and help someone else, is
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  Speaker 1: it in your calendar? Have you spent time doing that?
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  Speaker 1: Here's the Diamond Life Challenge for you. Pick one thing
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  Speaker 1: you no longer need to prove. Release it. You might
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  Speaker 1: need to do some meditations around it, some nice long
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  Speaker 1: walks in nature and just release it. Breath work, journaling.
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  Speaker 1: You know, maybe do a little ritual, a little fire
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  Speaker 1: ritual and write it in a letter and burn it.
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  Speaker 1: Then pick one thing you genuinely still want.
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  Speaker 2: Blame it. Say it out loud. Write it down.
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  Speaker 1: Tell someone and take some action towards it. I still
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  Speaker 1: want my company to grow.
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  Speaker 2: I would like it.
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  Speaker 1: To double in size for sure. I still want that.
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  Speaker 1: Women haven't lost our ambition. We're finally getting brave enough
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  Speaker 1: to ask better questions. What am I ambitious for? Not
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  Speaker 1: what should I want? Not what looks successful to everyone
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  Speaker 1: else and not what is going to impress everyone else.
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  Speaker 1: What do I want my money, my talent, my experience,
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  Speaker 1: my relationships, and my remaining years to create? What do
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  Speaker 1: I want to create? What do I want to feel?
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  Speaker 1: What emotions do I want to have throughout the day?
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  Speaker 1: And ladies, we are not done. We may just be
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  Speaker 1: finally getting clear enough to make our next chapter, our
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  Speaker 1: chapters to be exactly how we want them to be.
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  Speaker 2: That sounds a little controlling.
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  Speaker 1: I know we'll listen to another episode about controlling and
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  Speaker 1: being in control and controlling others.
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  Speaker 2: That's where we lose it, right? I just would.
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  Speaker 1: Love all of us to feel so empowered and stepping
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  Speaker 1: into the woman that we know we deserve and we
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  Speaker 1: can get what we want and we deserve it. So
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: have you ever done a vision board? Check out doing
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: vision boards.
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  Speaker 2: I do one every year. I love it.
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  Speaker 1: I used to have workshops doing vision boards. I need
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: to start that up again. I do want to start
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  Speaker 1: that up again because I love vision boards.
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  Speaker 2: And they work. I promise you they work.
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  Speaker 1: What we focus on creates, right? Thoughts create, words manifest.
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  Speaker 1: And when we focus on something, it becomes our reality.
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  Speaker 1: So whatever you focus on is.
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  Speaker 2: Going to happen.
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  Speaker 1: If you focus on negative, you focus on anxiety, you
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  Speaker 1: focus on fear, you focus on the lack you focus on.
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  Speaker 1: They don't, they don't think highly of me. That is
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  Speaker 1: what is going to happen. We law of attraction, right?
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  Speaker 1: What we put out, we're going to get back. But
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: if we focus on, or I should say, and if
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  Speaker 1: we focus on or no, but, but if we focus
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  Speaker 1: on something different, like growing my company, doubling my company, if,
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  Speaker 1: if I focused on that joy, because it, Just warms
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  Speaker 1: my heart. I had a great long conversation with one
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  Speaker 1: of my clients today. It's been a while since I've
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: caught up with her.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I loved it. We were on the phone for probably
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: over an hour and a half. It was awesome. I
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: love talking to my clients. It makes me so happy.
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  Speaker 1: So what do we want to feel during this transition?
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  Speaker 1: What do we want to feel when we are becoming ambitious,
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  Speaker 1: allowing our ambition, or even just thinking about what is
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  Speaker 1: success to us? And how does that feel? shoot, I
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  Speaker 1: felt successful today getting off the phone for two hours,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: just squirting away a bunch of crap. I felt very successful.
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  Speaker 1: I was very happy that I was done doing that.
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  Speaker 1: And the more technology we're going to have, the more
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  Speaker 1: AI we're going to have, the more fraud we're going
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  Speaker 1: to have, the more all this crap we're going to have.
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  Speaker 1: This is going to be our life, trying to fix
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  Speaker 1: some stuff. So we have to just be okay with
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: that and find joy in completion. I hope that helps
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  Speaker 1: somebody because I tell you, it drives me nuts. Okay.
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  Speaker 1: I want you to dream, believe, and build. And if
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  Speaker 1: the building is to retire and to play with your
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  Speaker 1: grandkids and to work out every day and to walk
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  Speaker 1: in nature, do it. Get with your financial advisor. Let's
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  Speaker 1: make sure that you're ready for it. If not, that's
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  Speaker 1: our dream, right? What do we need to do in
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  Speaker 1: the next five years to accomplish our goals that we
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  Speaker 1: want done?
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  Speaker 2: It's okay.
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  Speaker 1: They might even shift six months from now. You might
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  Speaker 1: meet a new person and change your whole opportunity.
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  Speaker 2: You never know. You never know what's going to happen.
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  Speaker 2: But ambition rocks. It's okay.
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  Speaker 1: It just looks different throughout the years than it did
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  Speaker 1: in our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s. I still
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  Speaker 1: have very, very ambitious women in our 70s. So I
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  Speaker 1: might not be done either. Like I might just be
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: ramping up at that point. Like this is exciting. I
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: was just listening to Mary Morrissey. She's in her 70s
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: and she's a badass. She's lived a life, man. She's
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: lived a life and she's still going for it. She's
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: absolutely going for it. In her 80s, I mean, look
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: at Betty White. She worked into her 90s and she
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: loved it because it was fun. That's my F word.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Y'all know my F word, fun and feelings. I want
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: you to feel the fun that you're having in your
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: new life, in your choice, whatever that is. It's your
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: choice and you get to do it. Okay, I've preached
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: enough today. I hope you enjoyed this episode on women.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Are women still ambitious? Or are we just changing the
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: definition of success? And both of those can be true, right?
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: So I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you know
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: that you can be ambitious and you can work your
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: little self ragged if you want to.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: It's your choice.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: But I'd rather you have a lot of joy wherever
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: you're doing it, whatever you pick. I want you to
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: have joy. Joy just is filling you up and you
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: can come back and fight another day. I hope you
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode because I want you to walk away
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: from every episode and say, I rock my finances.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: And don't forget to subscribe to the Rock My Finances
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: YouTube channel for more engagement and bonus content. Tell me,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: what is your money story? Let's find out with Jennifer
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: right here on K4HD Radio and Talk4TV. It's not about
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: the zero. It's about the F word, feelings. Feelings Jennifer
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: can't wait to explore with you next week. Until then,
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: let's all say, I rock my finances.