Latest / Sober Readings / Solace For Confusion
Transcript
- 10 20Reading: Good morning and welcome to Sober Readings. My name is Scott. Today is Tuesday, the 20th of October. Today we're going to read from Daily Reflections 24 Hours a day and day by day daily meditations for recovering addicts. Before we get to all that, let's begin like we always do with the serenity prayer. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference. Today's reading from Daily Reflections Solace for Confusion Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion. He thinks himself lost to the comfort of any conviction at all. He cannot attain, in even a small degree, the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. He is the bewildered one. And that comes from twelve steps and twelve traditions. The concept of God was one that I struggled with during my early years of sobriety. The images that came to me, conjured from my past, were heavy with fear, rejection, and condemnation. Then I heard my friend Ed's image of a higher power. As a boy, he had been allowed a litter of puppies, provided that he assumed responsibility for their care. It goes on to talk about Ed finding unavoidable byproducts of the puppies on his floor in the morning. And how Ed didn't get angry because that's the nature of puppies. And God views our defects and shortcomings with a similar understanding and warmth. And this reading reminds me that as I continue working the twelve steps, I've come to realize that my understanding of God and my higher power doesn't have to remain the same as it was when I first entered the rooms. As I grow spiritually, my faith and my relationship with my higher power may grow and change along with me. And that's perfectly okay. The God of my understanding today may look different from the God I understood years ago, because my experiences, struggles, and lessons have helped shape that relationship. AA doesn't ask me to have all the answers or a perfect understanding of God. It simply asks me to remain willing and open minded. So what matters most is that I continue seeking a power greater than myself and allow that power to guide me in my recovery. Today's reading from twenty four hours, the AA thought for the day. For the past few weeks we've been asking ourselves some searching questions. We have not been able to answer them all as we would like, but on the right answers to these questions will depend the usefulness and effectiveness of our lives. It all boils down to this I owe a deep debt to AA and to the grace of God. Am I going to do all I can to repay that debt? Let us search our souls, make our decisions, and act accordingly. Now is the time to put our conclusions into effect. The meditation for the day. Simple acceptance of God's will in whatever happens is the key to abundant living. We must continue to pray the prayer Thy will not mine be done. It may not turn out the way you want it to, but it will be the best way in the long run, because it is God's way. And in today's prayer for the day, I'm praying that I may see the working out of God's will in my life, and that I may be content with whatever He wills for me. And I'd like to talk about that short prayer real quick: Thy will, not mine, be done. It's a simple prayer, but putting it into practice isn't always easy, especially for someone like me who likes to have control over things. For much of my life, I tried to force outcomes, make things happen on my terms. And convince myself that I knew what was best. But my own will often led me down paths that brought pain, frustration, and eventually back to drinking. In sobriety, I've learned that surrendering my will to God doesn't mean giving up or doing nothing. It means doing the next right thing, trusting his guidance, and accepting that the outcome may not be what I wanted. Every time I say, thy will, not mine, be done. I'm reminding myself that I don't have to run the show today, and there's a tremendous amount of peace and freedom in that. And so let's move to today's final reading, which is from Day by Day. It's Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts. And the topic is removing the defects. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote: No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character. For us, this is the absolute truth. If we are impossible to live with, finding another spouse won't change our disagreeableness. If we constantly bum favors from friends, changing friends will not make us less of a bum. If we're inconsiderate to our neighbors, moving to another state will not make us more considerate. But working our character defects steps can remove our undesirable characteristics. In fact, working these steps Will help us want to give up our faults. That's a great little reading for today, and I can really relate to the changing my circumstances and hoping to have different outcomes. I've learned in sobriety that changing my surroundings doesn't necessarily change who I am. I can move to a new town, find a new job, start a new relationship, or remove certain people from my life. But if I haven't addressed my character defects, they're going to follow me wherever I go. Because I bring myself with me wherever I go. For years I thought that changing my circumstances would somehow fix the things that were wrong in my life, without realizing that much of the work needed to happen within me. The twelve steps have taught me to look inward, recognize my shortcomings, and become willing to have God remove them. I can't expect my life to change simply because my surroundings do. Lasting change begins with the work I'm willing to do on myself. And since those three readings were fairly short, let's throw in another one. Let's go to As Bill sees it. This is a good one. This is on page thirty six. Humility first. We found many in AA who once thought, as we did, that humility was another name for weakness. They helped us to get down to our right size. By their example, they showed us that humility and intellect could be compatible, provided we placed humility first. When we began to do that, we received the gift of faith, a faith which works. This faith is for you too. And that is in the twelve and twelve page thirty. And humility is such a great topic. It's one of the most important things I can practice in sobriety because it reminds me that I don't have all the answers, I don't know everything, and I certainly can't do this alone. For me, humility isn't about thinking less of myself. But recognizing that I'm human, that I have shortcomings, and that there's always room for growth. It's being willing to admit when I'm wrong, ask for help when I need it, and listen to someone else's experience without believing that my way is always the right way. I've learned that the moment I start thinking I I've got this whole sobriety thing figured out is the moment I need to be especially careful. Humility keeps me teachable, reminds me where I came from. And helps me to stay willing to do the work necessary to remain sober one day at a time. And so that's it for today's episode of Sober Readings. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you heard something today that stays with you and helps you along your journey. If you'd like to be a guest on Sober Readings and share your experience, strength, and hope, or just talk about the readings, there's a link in the show notes where you can send me an email. You'll also find a link in the show notes to my website, soberreadings.com. Where you can learn more about the show and stay connected. And if you'd like to drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket for today's readings, just go to the website and click on the support page and you'll find a button that says drop a dollar in the basket. And if you heard something today in the readings or I said something that made you think of someone, share this episode with them because you never know who might need to hear this today. So thanks for spending a few minutes of your time with me. Be good to yourselves and others today, and remember we only have to do this one day at a time. And so just for today, don't drink, go to a meeting, and keep coming back. Have a great day, everyone, and as my friend Larry says, best day ever.