Latest / Smooth Critical / C1 Hex and The City: Cinerium
Transcript
- 0:00What's up gang, today you all are getting a very special
- 0:04episode. Within Exumoria are four lovely
- 0:08ish women who have their own crystal cast called Hex in the
- 0:12City where they talk about all the hot Goths around town.
- 0:16Yes, he, my Harry, Charlie and I will be bringing out our inner
- 0:20Sex in the City esque but legally distinct girls who just
- 0:24love to chat about everything. There will be ties to the main
- 0:28campaign, but we thought it'd be a fun way to just explore the
- 0:31world some more. On April 9th we'll be back to
- 0:33releasing our regular campaign with Bo a Bon and Bunty, so stay
- 0:38tuned for that. One more thing before Hex and
- 0:40the City starts. And I really can't believe I
- 0:43have to say this, but Hima is the one who is playing Savannah
- 0:48and I just want to put out there ahead of time that Savannah's
- 0:52views do not reflect our real life views.
- 0:55What an insane statement to say. OK, take it away.
- 0:59Hex in the city. Hello, my sexy Hexes and welcome
- 1:12to Hex in the City, the only crystal cast where we take the
- 1:16ancient art of gossip and elevate it to a public service.
- 1:20I'm your host, Carrielle Brimwyn, joined by my lovely
- 1:24ladies Savannah, Miranda and Chenora.
- 1:28Say hi, ladies. Hi.
- 1:31Oh my God, girls. So much has happened in scenario
- 1:35lately. Now, who has the hot Goss?
- 1:38Well, you know, it actually be me who has the hot Goss.
- 1:42I am after all, Carrielle Brimwyn.
- 1:45Did you guys see that fight earlier?
- 1:47The one with the the gear grinders and what were they
- 1:50called? The monos?
- 1:52Not very scary now, are they? Yeah, I I know you would say
- 1:55that, Chinora. I know you used to have a thing
- 1:57with Tinkle back in the day. Listen, Tinkle is hot stuff, OK?
- 2:02He is spicy and I like him a lot.
- 2:05Yeah, I know you do because he got a fat ass.
- 2:08Give me a call, Tinkle. Thank you.
- 2:10Ha ha ha ha. But.
- 2:11He's so little. Oh my God yes.
- 2:14You can't just call people little.
- 2:17Oh, I'm sorry. That is so offensive to all the
- 2:21halflings out here. All of my halfling ladies say
- 2:24hey, hey. And the doors like, like Tinkle.
- 2:27Yeah, Tinkle is a little bit of a cutie with the booty, but it's
- 2:32kind of a shame that he lost a care to comment on that.
- 2:36Listen, I think the fight was rigged from the start.
- 2:39You know, it was, it was really. Yeah.
- 2:42What what was that little, like purple thing that just came out
- 2:46of nowhere? Purple.
- 2:47It was. Ridiculous.
- 2:48He. Bit So First off, I think you're
- 2:49colorblind. It's black, right?
- 2:51Girls, ladies. Anyway, I think it was rigged
- 2:54from the start. It was ridiculous.
- 2:57Like that little tiny thing just jumping in and biting, I
- 3:02thought. He was kind of cute.
- 3:04Yeah, I actually think she's right.
- 3:06The BLOB was cute. Yeah, yeah.
- 3:10The the the BLOB thing. Who?
- 3:12Who would be cute if not a BLOB? Tell me, Miranda.
- 3:15Seriously, tell me. That.
- 3:18Definitely not the guy with the hat.
- 3:21Oh, the nondescript man with a hat.
- 3:23EW, he was so nondescript. And and the kind of dark skinned
- 3:30guy next to the block. Well, you actually can't say
- 3:33that. So that seems First off, we're
- 3:36with the little people and the dark skinned people.
- 3:39So let's I. Just hold.
- 3:40It back. I just feel like Ignavarum has
- 3:44too much he's. So nervous, where are you going?
- 3:48Like we just can't say as much as we're just not allowed to say
- 3:56as much as they feel like we were allowed to say before this.
- 3:59What do you mean it? The Imperator gives us so much
- 4:03freedom. I love the Imperator.
- 4:05It's not the Imperator. The Imperator has been
- 4:08fantastic, honey. It's the people that are around
- 4:12him and you know I'm right, you know I'm right, you know I'm
- 4:16right. Lots to think about, lots to
- 4:19think about. Look at us.
- 4:21Look at us, look at us, look at us.
- 4:23Look at us, Look at us. We're so pretty.
- 4:27Not like those Ugo manos. And if I want to talk about the
- 4:31color of someone's. OK, well, let's let's tone it in
- 4:35Salina. Let's let's tone it in a little
- 4:37bit. No, no, no, no.
- 4:39I have something to say. No, I have something to say.
- 4:42Girls, we're gonna mute her, right?
- 4:44Did you have a little bit too much of the the stuff you like
- 4:47to sip on the little maybe the dream salt before you joined the
- 4:51call today? Supposed to say that while we're
- 4:53on the mic. Yeah, well, you're not supposed
- 4:55to do Dream Salt while we're recording, OK?
- 4:58For all of our listeners, I did not do Dream Salt before this
- 5:03episode. Girls, girls, it's fine.
- 5:06It's fine. We're all we're all OK.
- 5:09Saying like I was saying, and I'd like to clarify my position.
- 5:14I'm not. Collectively, I am.
- 5:19OK, we're going to cut to our first ad.
- 5:21Now we've got a word from our sponsor.
- 5:25We have to let her finish because.
- 5:28It is so. Bad, leaving it where it is
- 5:30right now. Collectively.
- 5:33I am not against any particular race or people.
- 5:38And I was wrong. It got worse.
- 5:43But I am allowed to judge people's physical appearances.
- 5:47Together and. That.
- 5:53OK, now a word from our sponsor, Ploreson from Plorescence.
- 5:56Blorescence. Have you ever wanted a bag and a
- 6:01special treat? Mine is Florissant.
- 6:04When I was a little boy, my parents give me a bag.
- 6:07Wait, cut. What do you mean?
- 6:10Like on your birthday or something?
- 6:13No. They just gave me a bag when I
- 6:15was a little boy and inside the bag was a little toy.
- 6:20When I went to get the toy, the bag became my mouth with teeth
- 6:24and it attacked me. I had never been so happy in my
- 6:28life. What the?
- 6:30I don't. I don't think potential
- 6:33customers are gonna like the idea of a bag attacking you
- 6:39after spending their hard earned coin on.
- 6:42It and I thought, wow, what a special gift.
- 6:45I will call it a Plorson. Plorson, this is not making any
- 6:50sense. The ad has to bring customers to
- 6:54your store. You seem stressed.
- 6:56Open this. Why?
- 6:57What's what's inside of this? Don't ask too many questions,
- 7:03I'm sure you'll be at peace when you open it.
- 7:06Ah. OK.
- 7:10Ah, there you go, at peace now this holiday gift your someone
- 7:15special, something special. A gift inside of a gift, a
- 7:20special treat inside of a bag. A Florissant from Florissant.
- 7:24Come to Florissants. Florissants, bye.
- 7:28If you or a loved 1 you know has been diagnosed with being eaten,
- 7:32crushed or burned to a crisp by a dragon, you may be entitled to
- 7:36financial compensation. The law firm of Mesothelion and
- 7:40UMA is here to defend you. Everybody recently has seen the
- 7:45major attack that was placed on the city.
- 7:48Who placed this attack? We don't know.
- 7:50But what we do know is you want good lawyers on your side, the
- 7:55highest elves in all of scenario, ready to defend you
- 7:59and your family. That's the law firm of
- 8:02Mesophilian and Uma. And we're back, everyone.
- 8:07I hope you enjoyed a message from our sponsors.
- 8:10I think now we're going to go into a little segment that we
- 8:14like to call techs in the city where we're going to talk about
- 8:20some new exciting advancements in magitech.
- 8:23Tell it to us, girl. Oh, oh, oh.
- 8:25OK, I'm sure you guys have all heard about AI.
- 8:30Just just to clarify, AI of course, stands for Awakened
- 8:35Items, which is the new practice of sorcerers and Wizards giving
- 8:39consciousness to everyday household items, allowing them
- 8:43to do jobs for us. I mean, you can, you can awaken
- 8:46a pencil and have it draw a picture for you if you have
- 8:50other pictures that it can look at and copy.
- 8:53And for, for example, recently I fired our accountant.
- 8:57What? You fired what?
- 8:58Like our? Like our don't worry guys, don't
- 9:01worry. I replaced our accountant with
- 9:04an awakened Abacus. OK, so I'm in charge.
- 9:08Oh, I've seen him around. And the awakened, it's going to
- 9:12cost, it's going to cost so much less.
- 9:14Don't worry about it. Wait, I didn't.
- 9:16I didn't pay any. I don't pay anyone anything.
- 9:19See, exactly. Yeah, that's the point is that
- 9:21you don't is you don't have to pay them anymore.
- 9:24And well, it's, it's interesting.
- 9:26The thing about the Abacus is. Is that the little doodad that
- 9:30I've been seeing like jumping around our studio?
- 9:33Yeah, yeah. So I've.
- 9:34Been I've been calling her Abby because she's so cute.
- 9:38Like Abby the Abacus. Oh, wait, girl, when you were
- 9:41talking about Abby, Abby, you were talking about the Abacus.
- 9:44Like all that crazy stuff you and Abby did together, That was
- 9:47you. We went out on the town last
- 9:50week. That's so crazy.
- 9:52Scenarium's hottest restaurant. We went together.
- 9:55It's called Fleur. Oh my God.
- 9:57Oh my God, it was so good. That's crazy.
- 9:59OK. What item would you guys awaken
- 10:02first? Girls, you know what you're all
- 10:04thinking about awakening. I know what I have something in
- 10:08my bedside drawer that I would awaken.
- 10:12Thinking the same thing. I, I should, I should clarify
- 10:16some downsides. It's, it's still like an, an
- 10:18early kind of technology, right? So they haven't, they haven't
- 10:22worked out all the kinks yet. You know, Miranda, I always say
- 10:26it's good to have a little kinks in there somewhere.
- 10:29That means you're unique. That's true, she does say that.
- 10:33Don't don't I know it and I'm I'm getting to that.
- 10:36She is so. Right, so Abby, Abby can't
- 10:39actually use herself. She can think, but but she can't
- 10:43actually use the Abacus to do math, so she has to do it all
- 10:46mentally. So it's actually very slow and
- 10:48she does make a lot of mistakes. So and then on top of that, she
- 10:53seems to have realized that her primary function isn't actually
- 10:57to do the things that we want her to do, but is for us to
- 11:00interact with her. So she seems to just be arguing
- 11:03with me and saying things in order to get me to keep
- 11:06interacting with her. And it's actually working.
- 11:08I can't stop myself from arguing with her.
- 11:11Girl I think this is is an abusive relationship.
- 11:14Some might say that, but I think I'm so close to convincing her
- 11:18that my point is right. I am in shock.
- 11:22Miranda girl darling, my sweet baby Angel you need to step away
- 11:26from. This OK, well.
- 11:27We need to get our regular accountant back because we're
- 11:31screwed otherwise. Let's be frank, mental math.
- 11:34I don't think anyone could do it.
- 11:36I don't know. Everyone tell me what's 18% of
- 11:383,000,275 billion can do it? We need an accountant. 4047.
- 11:44To know it. You're so close, girl, you're so
- 11:47close. I love you.
- 11:47Beauty and brains. Look, OK, we'll just ask Abby
- 11:51and she'll probably take a day, but she'll get somewhere close.
- 11:54Miranda, Miranda, listen, is this why we've been having money
- 11:58problems? Like is this why I heard that a
- 12:02little bit of Goss, a little bit of hot tea recently that you had
- 12:06opened up and only Fonz account with your cute little seder
- 12:11booty? You got me.
- 12:12I did. Why don't you tell us we would
- 12:14have subscribed. You guys know how much people
- 12:16pay for hoof picks? Oh, I'm sure a lot when they
- 12:19look like your hoofs. I've been collecting the the
- 12:23wild spring water that I go bathe in and selling it online
- 12:27for for side box and it's it's great.
- 12:30People are freaks. We love them, don't we?
- 12:33But please get our accountants back.
- 12:35Well, actually guys, I think I might know a way to to earn a
- 12:40little bit of money. Continuing with the new techs,
- 12:43there's a new investment opportunity around Dutal.
- 12:47Something called cryptocurrency has been, has been making the
- 12:51rounds. Necromancers are going into
- 12:54crypts and awakening skeletons and zombies.
- 12:59And those skeletons and zombies, they then give them pens and
- 13:03paper and they will write out really complicated sequences of
- 13:07letters and numbers. And those have value.
- 13:10And so if we just, if we just buy a lot of those early on in a
- 13:13couple of years, this is really going to blow up.
- 13:15People are going to be are going to be spending a lot of money
- 13:17for these really complicated sequences of of letters and
- 13:20numbers. Wait, Miranda.
- 13:23Miranda what? I I don't, I don't see it.
- 13:27What's what's, what's hard to grasp?
- 13:29I don't get it. Miranda, I think you need to
- 13:32step down as CFO. Listen, I am all in.
- 13:35I am all in. You've got my 100%.
- 13:38Why are? Letters and numbers written by
- 13:42dead people worth. OK, OK, OK, let me let me break
- 13:45it down for you. OK, so think of something that's
- 13:47like really valuable, right? Like a like a like a really nice
- 13:50piece of jewelry or like a painting.
- 13:52My friendships. Yeah, OK.
- 13:55God. Girl, I love you.
- 13:57That kind of, but let's think about things that actually
- 14:01matter, like material things. And so like, you know, like a
- 14:04painting. Let's take a painting for
- 14:05example, a really nice painting. So it's valuable because
- 14:10somebody put a lot of time and effort into it, right?
- 14:15Because, because and so therefore, well, therefore, if
- 14:19you know if these skeletons and these zombies, they put a lot of
- 14:21effort into stuff, then that would be valuable too.
- 14:24Miranda, you're kind of nerding out right now and it's like kind
- 14:29of gross. We should talk more after the
- 14:32show cause like, I'm all in. I'm all in on this.
- 14:35This sounds like a great idea. This sounds fantastic.
- 14:38I want it, I want it and I want it now get me a lich.
- 14:41You and me, sister, we're going to go on this together.
- 14:44I actually know a really nice lich.
- 14:46This is part of the problem, that we should as a society be
- 14:50able to say that there are no nice liches.
- 14:54But you see where we're at now as a society that some people
- 14:59have been pressured into thinking that some litches are
- 15:03nice, I guess, and. Girl, he's so nice.
- 15:07Saying before that we should be able to judge people about
- 15:12certain born traits of theirs. OK, well First off, litches
- 15:17weren't born litches, so I first think you need to educate
- 15:22yourself just a little bit, girl.
- 15:24OK, OK, Sylvina, Sylvina, enough.
- 15:26We're going to we're going to cut to our sponsor again, turn
- 15:30into Kanku Radio featuring artists like Counting Crows,
- 15:35YVN, Corvidai, Sammy, Raven and the Friends and all your
- 15:40favorite black feathery artists call.
- 15:44When it comes to kankoos like their dark plumage is absolutely
- 15:50beautiful and girls and. We're going to move on before we
- 15:53let her say any more than that. So going on to our our next, our
- 15:58next bit, we actually we did reach out to our audience and we
- 16:02got some, some letters. The first one is going to be
- 16:06looking for some relationship advice.
- 16:08Spicy. And then the second one is
- 16:11somebody looking for some career advice.
- 16:14I got that one. I'm a working woman.
- 16:16Oh, don't we know it, girl? Find a rich guy.
- 16:19That's my career advice. OK, so we need to start muting
- 16:24her more, right? We all agree I.
- 16:26Think we're going to have some talks about the limits next
- 16:29time. All right, all right.
- 16:30OK, go for it, Miranda, go for it.
- 16:32Hey Hexes, me and my new husband are about to leave on our
- 16:36honeymoon but I'm beginning to have second thoughts about
- 16:38whether or not we rushed into things.
- 16:41Our engagement was only a few minutes long, and before that I
- 16:44only knew him for about 5 days. For most of that time, he and
- 16:47his friends also shunned me and didn't interact with me.
- 16:50He later admitted that this was because he found me attractive,
- 16:54but I'm worried that about someone whose insecurities about
- 16:57the perception of others around him can affect the way he treats
- 17:00me. Also, I'm still young and what
- 17:02if I meet a hot shaman or winged cobalt at the dragon cult when
- 17:06we get there? Sincerely, Jay.
- 17:09Oh my God, Jay, that is so crazy because like, it kind of reminds
- 17:14me of like me and my relationship and just like, you
- 17:18know, things they just happen so quickly.
- 17:20You fall in love you, you fall out of love.
- 17:24It's OK. Just like feel your emotions as
- 17:27they are. I don't think you need to.
- 17:29Like, are you talking about you and Mr. Hot.
- 17:32You mean you and Mr. Flaming? Oh, Captain Lumiere.
- 17:36Yeah, we always keep finding our way back and forth to each
- 17:39other. Which girl?
- 17:40Jay, I don't know if that's exactly what you need to do.
- 17:44My Captain Lumiere special, Right, Like, But I don't know
- 17:47about your guy. You might just need to leave him
- 17:50when you need to leave him. And if you find your way back,
- 17:52you find your way back. And that's love and that's life.
- 17:55And that's being young and hot in the city.
- 17:58Jay, I have to ask, is this guy rich?
- 18:02That's my question. Yeah, we knew that one question.
- 18:05And and listen. And Jay, if he's not rich, I
- 18:10think you have your answer. Listen, Jay, I've heard what
- 18:13both Sylvina and Cariel have both had to say.
- 18:17But listen, I'm a free spirit. I love to go out.
- 18:20I think this man or any man, maybe not tinkle, but any man is
- 18:26tying you down and holding you back.
- 18:28And I think that the best thing you can do for yourself as an
- 18:32independent hexy is cut it off. You're having second thoughts
- 18:36already. I don't think it's right.
- 18:37As if Tinkle could tie you down. Sure.
- 18:41Tinkle could never. He proposed like what, three
- 18:44times already? And you said no every time.
- 18:47And that was just last week. Oh, I was alluding to his
- 18:50physicality. They're both small.
- 18:55Oh my God, we need to. You need to learn, girl, You
- 18:59need to learn. I hope Jay was able to get some
- 19:02some words of wisdom from that, but moving on.
- 19:05Hey Hexes, I'm struggling to get out from under my mom's control
- 19:09and make it on my own as a beat producer.
- 19:12She has me working 7 1/2 hours a week at her religious supply
- 19:16store Hawking dream salt and shadow work patches to idiots.
- 19:20I get to speak in a cool voice which is fun, but she has this
- 19:23weird alliterative name to our store that I keep messing up
- 19:27when greeting customers. Every time I try to tell her
- 19:30about my dreams she keeps using reverse psychology to get me to
- 19:33stay, saying things like oh you should definitely try that.
- 19:36Or have you looked into what I said about finding your own
- 19:39place? How am I supposed to cope with
- 19:41my grueling work schedule plus the dishes that I do sometimes
- 19:45and find the time to pay someone to awaken some items to farm?
- 19:49Beats for me because I don't like interacting with dirt very
- 19:52much. Sincerely L.
- 19:56Well, you pose a very interesting question.
- 19:59Personally, I didn't live with my parents after the age of 18
- 20:03because, I mean, I am an independent woman, so it's
- 20:07really hard for me to, like, see things from your perspective.
- 20:10But I would say maybe find someone hot and like, live with
- 20:13them for a little bit and like, yeah, that's pretty much it.
- 20:16Interestingly enough, L did include his actual name or his
- 20:21age. Excuse me?
- 20:22I don't know if he knew that that would come up or not.
- 20:24Only 39 years old, so he has a lot of time left.
- 20:28Oh, he's a baby. LL you only have one mommy.
- 20:35You only have one mommy. That's how we come into this
- 20:38world. We have one mommy, and if you
- 20:41leave her now, what does that say to your future children's
- 20:47mommy? That's all L.
- 20:50Sylvina, your son is four months old.
- 20:53I don't think you have to project this out onto someone
- 20:57else just because you're feeling like super super attached.
- 21:00Shenora, Shenora, shut the fuck up.
- 21:03OK girl, I don't know why this became a big thing.
- 21:07All you need to say is OK, love your mommy.
- 21:10That's fine. I agree with you, love your
- 21:12mommy. One mommy.
- 21:14Listen, all I'm saying is we get it.
- 21:16You're a mom and that's like your whole personality now.
- 21:18It's like being a mom and dream salt and like I'm getting.
- 21:22I hardly know. Whoa, whoa.
- 21:25Not cool. Listen, we keep having to go to
- 21:28beer gardens that are OK with babies and dogs, and personally
- 21:32I'd rather go to a bar just a downtown.
- 21:35Bar so nice. And look hot and go sexy.
- 21:39You should come out with me and Abby.
- 21:41I mean, Abby does sound kind of. Crazy fine Carrielle.
- 21:44You can come to my house after this Carrielle, and you can slit
- 21:48my baby son's. Throat.
- 21:49Oh. And we can go my.
- 21:51God, you drama queen, you know I love you girl, but you need to
- 21:57calm down and I think therapy might be the answer.
- 22:02Listen, OK, here's my take, Al. And this is 1 area where I'm
- 22:07actually going to have to take a little bit out of Sylvina's
- 22:11book. Like, yes, most of the things
- 22:14you cannot judge based on how someone looks based on their
- 22:17race. But I don't know what 39 means
- 22:21for you. If you're an elf, you're like a
- 22:24baby baby boy. But if you're a human, like you
- 22:28should be gone. It's hard to tell and I think we
- 22:31need more information and that's the only time that I'm going to
- 22:35agree with Sylvina right now. That was a very educated answer,
- 22:38and actually I changed my answer to whatever Shinora said, and
- 22:42that was my answer first. Thank you.
- 22:44Ariel and Miranda, I just have to raise this point right now
- 22:49that Shonora's being kind of a bench.
- 22:53OK, so. Actually, you didn't need to
- 22:55raise that point right now. OK, calm down.
- 22:58So I guess, I guess we'll leave it with L We don't know, Yeah,
- 23:03We don't have all the information, so we can't really
- 23:06talk too much. I guess the one thing I'll say
- 23:08is 7 1/2 hours a week doesn't seem like that much, so maybe
- 23:14you could find some time in between your working and your
- 23:19sometimes dishes to awaken some items to plant beets for you.
- 23:24Miranda, wait one second. Elle, you should unionize.
- 23:29Oh, actually, that's not a bad idea.
- 23:32Listen Sylvina, I think this might be a good one for.
- 23:35You. Thank you, Shanora.
- 23:36And I understand I was being kind of standoffish just then,
- 23:42but you were also being really rude about myself.
- 23:45Listen, OK, OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 23:48Sylvina Junior does not deserve that from you.
- 23:52Let's talk about the next topic now.
- 23:55Scenarium's cutest new couple that has taken the Hexie
- 23:59corkboards by storm. Two of the most adorable little
- 24:04Cobalts have been seen around town, walking hand in hand,
- 24:08making out, batting eyes at each other where it has it.
- 24:11Their names are Rugg and Janie, but all of the enthusiastic
- 24:16romance lovers are calling them rainy girls.
- 24:19Have you heard of this? Have you seen this?
- 24:21All of the Hexies are talking about it.
- 24:23And my question is why aren't we called calling them jug?
- 24:27It's less cute, sorry. Miranda, This is why we don't
- 24:30usually put you in charge of our finances.
- 24:33Cobalts are. So little.
- 24:35They're like little kids. It's so cute.
- 24:38It's like they're not even real adults.
- 24:40We should just put them in a daycare.
- 24:43I saw wedding rings on their fingers so I think they're
- 24:47probably adults. I would.
- 24:48Say, Shinora, I know they're adults, I'm just commenting on
- 24:52their physical stature, and it's just so tiny that they're
- 24:57indistinguishable from children. Do any of the other girls want
- 25:01to weigh in here? OK, so rainy cute jug, less
- 25:07cute. And I actually had that on a
- 25:09pole on my Ginstagram story. So just so you know, everyone
- 25:15voted for Rainey Miranda, no one voted for Jug.
- 25:18I put your option up there. No one liked it and it was seen
- 25:21by maybe 10 to 12,000 people so. Well, maybe that's because
- 25:26everyone's a fucking idiot. Yeah, and you also didn't put my
- 25:29option up there. Your option didn't make any
- 25:32sense. It was Jay Nug.
- 25:35Girl, that is too much. It's more equitable for both
- 25:39partners. Yeah, I have nothing to say to
- 25:41that. That was actually a good point.
- 25:43Sometimes you say good things girl, I love you for that.
- 25:46But they are super cute. Oh my God, like that Janie in
- 25:51her little like dress and her little bow matches it.
- 25:54Adorable. Notice how you keep saying
- 25:57little. You know what, girl?
- 25:59You're right. We're going to mandatory
- 26:01training this weekend, girl. That's what you've made us do.
- 26:04This is what I'm talking about. Ignovarum is so freaking woke
- 26:09now. I just checked my crystal and so
- 26:12many unread messages from our producers.
- 26:15I think we just have to keep moving on.
- 26:17Moving on to our next word from our sponsor, we have Kariel here
- 26:23to talk about it. Have you ever wanted to serve
- 26:27justice? Protect the people and be yelled
- 26:29at by someone impossibly attractive and smoky.
- 26:33Sultry heavy armor? Then the Embergaard Internship
- 26:37Program might be for you. Carriel that's not in the
- 26:42script, girl. The Embergaard scenario's elite
- 26:46peacekeepers are now accepting applicants for the annual Trial
- 26:49by Fire internship, A prestigious seasonal program
- 26:53designed to turn ordinary citizens into slightly singed,
- 26:56highly disciplined defense of the realm.
- 27:00Interns when undergo vigorous training in urban patrol
- 27:04techniques, fire rune safety, crowd control, marching in
- 27:09perfect formation even when it's hot out.
- 27:12Doing that thing where you stand with your arms crossed and look
- 27:16intimidating but honorable. I'll sign up for that last one.
- 27:20Successful interns may even graduate to full Embergaard
- 27:24status after a friendly ish low risk ish lately supervised
- 27:29gladiatorial and elimination battle against the other
- 27:32interns. That's right, fight your peers,
- 27:35impress your superiors, and maybe win the heart of a certain
- 27:39captain. OK, OK, I know you're adding
- 27:42that now, like that's definitely not in the script.
- 27:44OK, fine. Fight your peers, impress your
- 27:47superiors, and have a wonderful career in public service.
- 27:50To apply, visit your local Embergaard Outpost and fill out
- 27:54Form 27-C. Terms and conditions apply.
- 27:56The Embergaard is not responsible for burns,
- 27:58heartbreak or unexpected character development.
- 28:00Thank you to the Embergaard for sponsoring Hex and the City.
- 28:04Now how about Captain Lumieres jawline?
- 28:08No, no, carry out. We are not doing that again.
- 28:12Oh, but girls, he is so handsome.
- 28:15And when he gets so passionate and fiery and the flames grow
- 28:18out of him, Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
- 28:21You girls know it. What's?
- 28:22Been going on with you these days.
- 28:24It's been a little while since our listeners have heard about
- 28:27you and Mr. Hot. Well, we're kind of on and off
- 28:33here and there. It's honestly girls, it's been
- 28:37kind of hard. He travels a little bit for
- 28:41work. He OK, he told me in secret, but
- 28:44he's in this like special forces kind of team, which is just like
- 28:48so hot of him. But it's, it's been, it's been
- 28:52hard. He's been traveling a lot and,
- 28:54and you know, we've been traveling a lot, just doing
- 28:56girls trips like pretty much every weekend, right.
- 28:59So it's just like there's no time for us to to hang out and
- 29:04I. I swear that I saw Captain
- 29:08Lumiere like yesterday in the city.
- 29:12I actually saw him too when I was out with Abby.
- 29:15Like I'm sorry girl, but. Sorry, what?
- 29:18He's here. He's been around Carrielle.
- 29:21He's been around. Oh, I think he's avoiding you.
- 29:25He's been around, if you get my drift.
- 29:27He's been around. Oh.
- 29:29Honey. OK, so no one wanted to tell me
- 29:32before right now. We thought you knew, honestly.
- 29:36Yeah, everybody. Knows.
- 29:38No. Yeah, get girls.
- 29:40I am. I am just playing with you
- 29:42girls. Of course I knew this whole
- 29:45time, girls. Girls.
- 29:48We're all good. We're just friends right now.
- 29:51You know, sometimes to turn back into lovers, you first have to
- 29:55be friends. And you really just have to know
- 29:57each other on that deep friendship level where there's
- 30:00just like, hanging out and talking and, and texting and
- 30:05call me, call me Captain Lemire. I'm sure you guys are OK.
- 30:09Yeah, call me captain. I'm sure it's all right.
- 30:11Please call me. Yeah.
- 30:13I mean, there are a lot of things.
- 30:14There are a lot of things that people should share before, you
- 30:17know, they get fully into it. Like, we don't wanna turn into J
- 30:21from the letter, do we? So, you know, like, it's
- 30:25important to learn these things. Like, I'm sure.
- 30:27What's Captain Lumiere's favorite song?
- 30:30We started the fire. Yeah, that makes sense.
- 30:33Sure. Yeah.
- 30:34See, so you guys, you guys have deeper connections.
- 30:37Miranda girl, you're so right. Carriel, I know I shouldn't say
- 30:42this right now. OK, then don't Sylvina then.
- 30:44I'm going to because I'm your friend and I love you, but I'm
- 30:50pretty sure his favorite song is Fire and Desire.
- 30:54And. And how would you know that?
- 30:56Because when I saw him yesterday, I was doing a little
- 31:00piece for my Instagram story where I was asking people on the
- 31:04street what they were listening to and I said, hey, Captain
- 31:09Lumiere, what are you listening? To OK.
- 31:13Hey Sylv, can I talk to you as to the side for a second?
- 31:15Wait, Miranda. I'm not done, honey.
- 31:18I yes, I know, I know, I know you're not done and that's
- 31:21exactly why I'm jumping in right now.
- 31:23Before you finish, can I please just take you to the side and
- 31:25talk to you? Real quick.
- 31:26OK, Carrie, I'll tell you later. OK, OK, girls, guys, this has
- 31:33been so much fun. This has been such a fun episode
- 31:39back and I really enjoy talking to you guys and it doesn't feel
- 31:46like my life is over because Captain Lumiere is a fucking
- 31:50whore. But it's okay, we're OK girls,
- 31:54because we have each other, right?
- 31:57Of course, of course. Course Carriel.
- 31:59We're always here for a year. And we don't need men, we really
- 32:03don't need men, especially men who leave to go on secret
- 32:06missions, right, to do secret stuff that the Imperator tells
- 32:09them to do. And then they come back and and
- 32:11they don't tell you they come back.
- 32:12And and maybe maybe that was the secret mission is that they had
- 32:16to be here, but also that it was just a secret from you because
- 32:20they didn't hide themselves from every.
- 32:22I'm just talking myself into a let's move on and.
- 32:25Carrielle. Carrielle.
- 32:29Yeah. The father to my Sylvina junior
- 32:31is not even in the picture. We do not need men.
- 32:35We do not and you don't. That's true.
- 32:39What happened to him? Oh, we never talk about this.
- 32:42Girls, I have to use the ladies room.
- 32:45I'll be right back. You know, after you give birth,
- 32:49everything changes. Bye.
- 32:51I'll be back. Girl, we need to just real
- 32:54quickly talk about Sylvina. I am a little worried about her.
- 32:59If anyone else is worried about her, please comment on my new
- 33:03Ginstagram story. I'll block her.
- 33:05It'll be close friends only which will be everyone but her.
- 33:08And just vote if we're worried or not and if we should talk to
- 33:10someone or not because I'll leave up to you my Ginstagram
- 33:14followers. I'm back, girls, I'm back.
- 33:18OK girls, well this has been just quite the conversation and
- 33:23shout out to all of our sponsors once again because we had to
- 33:28fire our accountant and Abby's been doing mental math.
- 33:31We are severely in debt, so please keep, you know,
- 33:36sponsoring us and sending us money and gifts at our PO Box,
- 33:40which is 222797 Water Drive, PO Box 69.
- 33:47And make sure to subscribe to Miranda's only fonts.
- 33:51Oh my God yes girl, we'll all be on the only fonts.
- 33:55Also, I will take any and all gifts for Sylvina Junior.
- 34:00Anything you want to send? You could send them to the PO
- 34:04Box as well. Yeah, but they get all musty in
- 34:06there. Carrie.
- 34:07I'll just send. Well you should check the PO Box
- 34:10then girl, it's literally next door to your apartment.
- 34:13We put you in charge of that because it was the most low
- 34:16level job and you still can't check the PO Box.
- 34:19I know, but when I go in there, there are all these dragonborns
- 34:23and I just don't like them and. That is where we'll end our
- 34:26episode. Goodnight girls.
- 34:28Wah. Wah, goodnight.