Latest / Petty and Unbothered / #4 - Nepo babies, Earned suffering, and Petty battles
Transcript
- Robin Axline: Yes, welcome back. back in the studio. Welcome to two people deciding which minor inconveniences deserve major reactions. I had to pick up a coffee. Tita Lors: I bring the professional insight, allegedly. Robin Axline: And I bring, I don't know, chaos, vibes, lived experience. Otherwise, you know, we just love growth and we also love a minor grudge. I'm Robin, a creative, multi-hyphenate improviser and ready for all the randomness you didn't know you needed. And here is my co-host with the most, Lora ⁓ yes, I'd say this is a ⁓ high potential for a reoccurring ⁓ Petty battle. ⁓ Tita Lors: Hello, Lora, licensed marriage and family therapist. So ⁓ should have some kind of credentials for that. ⁓ Petty off, petty off, Robin Axline: Petty vs. Petty. Well, ⁓ thanks for coming back and checking out our show. We're really happy that you're here. Basically, I wanted to just open the show a It's kind of a... Hmm. Ooh, man. Oof, okay, here's what I'm Hear me out. The battle can be these two today, and then the winner will move into the next round, next episode. And then that one will battle ⁓ the next one. And so it's like a cage match, basically. Tita Lors: Ooh, story time! Hold on, let me settle in. Alright, this is coffee instead of water. Do you do this? Do you have two water bottles? Yeah, okay. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one. you Robin Axline: you you know, you know I've got multiple beverages going on. Like minimum two. ⁓ Tita Lors: single time. ⁓ So we'll figure it out. Yeah, we're workshopping it. ⁓ Yeah, actually I should have a third one for like, it's a citrusy probiotic type drink thing to help with gut health. Yeah, so, but I forgot that one this morning. So here we are. Robin Axline: We can modify it, but that's just a thought I had. Absolutely. Yeah. And then we don't have to like fully explain it every week, but maybe just a little bit for the new listeners, but yeah, we'll figure it out. Ooh. Nice, that sounds delicious. Sweet. Yeah, I actually did a turmeric shot a little bit ago. It's like a ginger, lemon, coconut water, freshly cracked black pepper and some turmeric. And it really ⁓ got me going today. So. ⁓ Okay, okay, okay. Tita Lors: Yeah, right, like so. this week's winner is, or last week's winner was this, and then here's our two contestants for today kind of situation. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it. Two contestants today, put them up against each other, and then up against last week. Yeah. it to you. ⁓ Robin Axline: Yeah, something like that, yeah. Yeah. And then they'll just move up the bracket and then maybe by like, I don't know, we'll call it at some point and be like, this is the winner of the last 10 episodes. ⁓ Tita Lors: Yeah, wakes you ⁓ Yeah, or yeah, maybe like every quarter we have like this is the winner and then by the end of the year we'll have probably like four big winners put up against each other and be like if you don't remember the stories here it is again. big winner of the year is this. Ooh yeah. Robin Axline: ⁓ So just wanted to, something just popped up in my inbox, I guess you could say. I'm helping a group out with applying for a improv festival, right? And I feel like I'm kind of carrying a lot of the weight on that. Basically, Yeah. I like that idea. Let's do it. Yeah. And then, you know, eventually maybe we can have y'all weigh in. Might be fun. Some polls involved. Tita Lors: Yeah. Or submit. Yeah, who's your, like, who would you submit for Petty? Robin Axline: It's like herding cats, if you will, like trying to get everybody's availability, ⁓ what their handles are, biographies, everything. And one person that I really like a lot, love dearly is just very go-getter kind of thing. And so I was still waiting for everybody's information, but they wrote and they were like, love this. Yeah, thanks for bearing with our workshop. This is ⁓ live. Tita Lors: Okay, I love this. We don't even know what this podcast is about anymore. think we're just trying to figure that out still. Yeah! Ta-da! Robin Axline: Welcome to our brains. ⁓ So, so for today, I think we've both brought some pretty good, I don't know what yours is, but let's see. Tita Lors: Okay. Robin Axline: Did you send in the application? Did everything go well? And I hadn't really had time to get back because I'm still working on, got my fingers in a lot of things. And so I get this email, not last night, maybe the night before that starts out per my last email. Tita Lors: I'm not confident I'm gonna win this one. I was really, really tired last night. I was like, this is gonna for now. So I'm not confident I'm gonna win this one. think you're gonna have me this week, but next week I'll have something better. Okay, let's start with putting our titles against each other and see who we think is gonna win. And then by the end of it, make a decision, decision. Robin Axline: Yay. I don't know about that one, we'll find out. Tita Lors: Okay, already off to a good start. Robin Axline: And yeah, it's like per my last email, ⁓ you know, I'd like to know the status and the ETA of this thing. And I'm not getting into all the details, but what struck me as I would say kind of a petty low key is just to start an email like per my last email. So I just kind of wanted to bring that to the table just to throw something fun out there. Mm. Okay, are you ready? ⁓ mine is, I called, weaponized inconvenience. Tita Lors: Yeah, what's your title? ⁓ I feel like you're already going to OK. OK, so this I got from our petty revenge by Mystic underscore L, and it's called If You're Going to Cut the Line, Be Sure to Pay. Robin Axline: Stop giving me too much credit. Do you think that's pretty petty? Tita Lors: ⁓ yeah. Hell yes! It is the corporate pettiness that I live for a lot. Like I tell my clients a lot to be like, do it. Make sure it's all documented and do it, especially if you're in the corporate world and you're like working. This all just needs to be in an email format. And even if you have a verbal conversation with somebody, Robin Axline: Ooh, okay. I'm intrigued. I'm listening. Tita Lors: All right, you want to go first? Yeah, OK. Robin Axline: Me first? Sure. all right. So this one weaponized inconvenience. It's when a roommate that owed $10 to the other roommate, for the wifi bill, but only gave seven and said, Oh, I don't have $3. Okay. Uh, Tita Lors: then pair our conversation in the hallway. Yadda yadda yadda yadda. Like this is what you need to say. is you need to do. Like make sure that's in there because cover your ass. Cover your ass. However, this is not that situation. You're... Yeah. Robin Axline: Yeah. ⁓ So then, because, yeah. No, it's not, but it's highly relatable and I might even tell bit of that story. Because this, no, this didn't happen to me, but it just struck me as like, I was like, oh, I can relate to this story. So this, my question is gonna be, well, you'll figure it out. So the roommate. Tita Lors: Wait, hold on. Can I ask a clarifying question? Is this something that happened to you? Oh, okay, okay. Robin Axline: Not at all. I'm like doing, I mean, I'm just doing it as a favor to everybody. So I was just like, wow, well now I really don't feel like answering you. And maybe that's kind of petty on my bit, but I was just like, I'm gonna take my time right now. Tita Lors: Okay, yeah. Okay, okay. ⁓ my goodness. I would hit them back with the per our conversation when we first started. Okay. Robin Axline: Ode 10 only gave seven. So out of pettiness, the roommate that takes all the money for the bills changes the Wi-Fi password to a 10 digit code. Yeah. Yeah, I'm still still working on it. So get off my back. No, I'm just kidding. Tita Lors: Yes, exactly. I am the only person to my knowledge working on this. Robin Axline: Yeah, yeah, but I just, I don't know, that just happened and I was like, all right, I'm gonna bring that to the table just to start out. Yeah, no good. and then only gave seven of them to the roommate that paid $7. Like change the Wi-Fi password and then was like, well, you only get seven of them because you. Tita Lors: I think anytime somebody says, per my last whatever or per something, it's petty. You're being 100 % petty and sometimes it's deserved. Yeah, right, but it's. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Here's the first seven digits. Yep, pay me for the next three. Robin Axline: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've done that as well, but it's not really to somebody. It's more like a business like thing where they probably deserve it. Maybe that's petty of me, who knows. Yikes. Yeah, like if you give me the next three, I'll give you. I I kind of was wow about that one when I read it online. That's pretty. Tita Lors: Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. ⁓ That's so funny. I feel like I maybe saw that one too somewhere. Robin Axline: Yeah, yeah. I thought that was pretty petty of the roommate. I mean, three dollars for both ways, though. Like, why couldn't the person just cough up three dollars? Don't buy a latte or whatever. You can't buy a lot. Don't buy. I don't even know what three dollars can get you anymore. ⁓ Tita Lors: I mean, is, but like deservedly so. Right, like it's, yeah, you're supposed to be petty in those situations. That's what's supposed to happen. Yeah. Yes, exactly, which is maybe is what they're trying to do, but also you're doing them a favor. Robin Axline: Yeah, sometimes you gotta be a bit squeaky, I guess. Tita Lors: Yeah. something a Don't buy a bag of chips Robin Axline: Right, right, yeah, absolutely. ⁓ So I kind of also just wanted to jump to a pop culture story. So we're going to go into the petty corner. Perfect. Yeah, don't buy a bag of chips. Tita Lors: Yeah, or Snickers bar or a water bottle at this point, right? Like. Robin Axline: Yeah, or just walk instead of taking the train or... Tita Lors: Okay. ⁓ huh. Yeah, seriously, there's so many things you could do to find that three dollars. Go look in your couch in your in a car or ask somebody else to spot you. Yeah, exactly. ⁓ huh. Somewhere. Yeah, there's there has ghosts. Go stand on the street and be like, can you spot me? Can you spot me? Three dollars. Yeah, it'd be creepy. I don't think I don't know how much money you'll get. Robin Axline: Welcome to the petty corner. I'm gonna start out with a, this is actually a side story because there are several petty elements regarding this individual. ⁓ I'm sure everyone's familiar with Brooklyn Beckham. He's actually a self-confessed nephew baby. His mom is Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham. Tita Lors: Thank Robin Axline: All your pocket pants pockets. It's bound to be $3 somewhere. Yeah, that would be legit. Tita Lors: You might get more than $3 too as well. Robin Axline: his dad is David Beckham, the retired soccer player. Basically, Brooklyn has done a jobs, probably with the help of his nepotism, but he's been teen model. ⁓ He had a cooking he had a saki brand. He now has a hot sauce brand. It's a bit pricey, but I might have to test it out for research ⁓ since I like hot ⁓ fair. Yeah, yeah, no matter. Yeah, depending on ⁓ how desperate you seem. But yeah, I don't know. I but then on the other hand, I'm like, come on, like $3 and you're gonna cut off the internet. That's wild. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. I so. I think it's totally appropriate. Yeah. Because this can't, if it was the first time, right? And also how did they say it? Because if it's the first time that you've ever done it and then you say something like, ⁓ I don't have the three dollars on me right now, my bad. me like, ⁓ I'll get it to you tomorrow. Or by the end of, I'm getting paid the way my money is situated. I'm waiting for this paycheck and. Robin Axline: No? ⁓ Mm-hmm. Tita Lors: Yeah. Robin Axline: ⁓ And then just some other career moves that I don't even need to list. And what's funny is I found that the internet just keeps clowning him for switching careers all the time. Yeah. So my question is, why does it irritate people when someone rich experiments publicly? This, my hot take though was the person was like very like, that's all I can give you, like shrug. ⁓ Because I think people just get so uppity and they don't know the whole story. I mean, I know it's kind of crazy that he's probably getting all those jobs pretty much in his lap. But I don't think that people need to put him down so much. And the other question I had was or thought I had was like, do we resent him? Tita Lors: Yeah, exactly. And that's why I don't think that the person's petty for not giving them the rest of the password. Because if that's how you're coming, if that's how you're being about it, then that's how you are with everything. So you're probably not paying rent on time. You're probably not paying other bills on time. You're probably eating their food. You're totally taking advantage of them. yeah, cough it up. Robin Axline: Right. Mmm. because he doesn't have to struggle and would we care if he was anonymous? Tita Lors: give me the three dollars and every month I'll change it. Until you can be consistent, right? Until you can be consistent in paying me money, then I guess the password's just gonna keep changing. Robin Axline: Ooh, damn, that's like... Yeah. Yeah. So those are things that I'm swirling around with, but I had a quick question for you. Why do people need earned suffering to respect someone? And is resentment about fairness? All right, okay. Yeah, could, yeah, see both ways. I think I mostly just saw it as petty, but that's fair. Gotta show them boundaries, but yeah. Okay, so drum roll. Yours, your turn, your turn, your turn. Tita Lors: So many good questions. I'm like, which one do I answer? OK. Robin Axline: I know that's a lot to drop, I know that was the one I really, but those are all the questions I had. Tita Lors: Yeah, it is petty, but in the best way. Exactly. Uh-huh. Yep. ⁓ geez, don't mess with my money. Okay. ⁓ mine. Okay, me. All right. Okay. So this is, again, got it from a subreddit. ⁓ Or not a subreddit, from whatever. Okay, I don't know how to word. So if you're going to cut the line, be sure to pay. So in the definition of resentment itself, it is about fairness, ⁓ right? That it is a feeling of like big disappointment about something not being fair. ⁓ The outcome was not fair somehow to the other person. So resentment is absolutely about fairness. ⁓ And so Ernst. ⁓ I skimmed this, so this will be interesting. ⁓ Yeah, exactly. Yesterday, I had just about the most amount of fun it's possible to have on the London Underground. I was traveling for work with suitcase and laptop bag, so made for the wider gate entering the tube. ⁓ There were a couple of people ahead of me with similar baggage loads when a girl cut in front of me. Robin Axline: It was a surprise. I was like, why do people need earned suffering to respect someone? Tita Lors: not particularly out of the ordinary for London, but then quickly moved in and tailgated the person in front without tapping in. So paying. She didn't pay. Robin Axline: Like, feel like, I don't know, because when people have like this story, then people are like, oh my gosh. Yeah, like, I feel like this is a side tangent real quick, but I feel like on those, like the voice and American Idol and all that, they have to have these like teary backstories for people to be like, oh, what a miracle that this person is here. I mean, it's great, but it's like, all right. What's with that? Whoa Tita Lors: Right? That's my understanding. Yeah. I, okay, I'm having a hard time because there's misspellings, but I don't think too much. I don't think too much of it as sadly it's a relatively common occurrence, but noticed the pretty distinct turquoise trolley case she had in tow. I didn't particularly pay attention to where she was as I tapped in myself. And by the time I looked up, she was out of sight. Robin Axline: Yeah. Tita Lors: in the melee, which is the London Underground. So I did the only reasonable British thing of tutting and grumbling about the brazen theft. increasing everyone's fares under my breath. this stuff how scary it must be for you but you're really trying to find who you are in this world so go you you you keep it up you know yeah you must be struggling financially the assumption is right you're struggling financially but you keep going and yeah I was really thinking about that too and then I was thinking about a term that I bring up a lot A few steps later, as I got to my destination, I approached the similar wide barrier to tap out. I noticed the same girl and her turquoise suitcase matching her pace to mine slightly behind me. Knowing what had happened on entry, I knew it was my time to shine. I approached the wider exit gate again, tapping in with a plume as she closed the gap to mere millimeters behind. Robin Axline: Yeah. ⁓ Mm-hmm. Yeah. Hmm. Tita Lors: that people don't think about is disenfranchised grief, which is a, it's a type of grief where like, It was only right for me to stop dead on exiting the gate to pat down my pockets and make sure I had the wallet, passport, and ticket from my onward trip. The gate slammed shut on her and unable to shove past me and my baggage in time, she was left half in, half out of the gate, quite obviously having not paid her way with a tube worker heading her way to help untangle her. Having come- kind of don't acknowledge the sadness or the loss in that situation. And then unless you've actually experienced it, you wouldn't know really what it is or even that like it is an experience, but everyone thinks, ⁓ it's just a little loss. It's a small thing. So something as small as like, let's say you had a babysitter, actually, yeah, we'll do that. So let's say you've had a babysitter and you've grown accustomed to having that babysitter regularly, but something happens and now the babysitter Robin Axline: OOF Tita Lors: Yeah, having confirmed the contents of my pockets and not wanting to be late for my Eurostar connection, I moved away without seeing if the young lady got her just desserts. But I did learn a few new words as I moved out of earshot. Stupidly petty? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely. I just wanted to share the comments section was really, really funny. One person said, tubular pettiness. Robin Axline: Mm. Tita Lors: It was like, very good, yes. Yes. Robin Axline: Mmm. Dots. Yeah, think, yeah, that was justified pettiness for, I mean, it was petty for sure, because you're like, well, I mean, this person is obviously traveling with bags and that's rough though. I do not like, like when people cut in front of me, especially when they have a similar agenda. Tita Lors: Yeah. Robin Axline: and they think that they have like some kind of license over me, oof, that would be rough. I would be so conflicted at the end there. I would be very tempted to just like slam the gate shut and make sure they didn't get out, to be honest. I know that's super petty, but I don't know. That's a hard one. Mm. Tita Lors: Yeah. Like when cat people or dog people lose an animal, it's like losing their child and they experience that in a big way. But if you're not an animal person, you're just like, it's just a cat, get over it. Right? And so that's disenfranchised grief. And I think about this in terms of the story that you're telling because in a way, right, this person, though he has unlimited resources and unlimited like... Yeah, but it's deserved pettiness because she didn't pay. Robin Axline: yeah. Yeah, that on top of the chef being cut in front of. ⁓ man. Tita Lors: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like, you cut in front of people. You're not, it's one thing to cut and then you're, you know, whatever, you're in a hurry, fine, I get it, blah, blah, blah. This obviously is not the first time that they've ever done it. Because they knew how much time they had to get through. So I think what he was saying earlier is that people like this is the reason why the fair is going up. ⁓ Right, for the train and all that stuff. Robin Axline: Yeah. you Yeah, well, I can't remember on the tubes if you have to put the ticket back in or not to get out. I guess I don't think you do. Hmm. Tita Lors: Okay, I'm gonna go to the website. don't think that you do, but there... Robin Axline: But I just don't remember. Tita Lors: I've never been, but it doesn't sound like you have to, I don't know. I know you have to tap on. Robin Axline: Yeah, mean, beyond something having to be, I guess, like, ⁓ which that's more surface. But I think there's something. Well, because I was thinking that would be way more petty if you had to put your ticket in to get out and they knew that they didn't have a ticket. That would be messed up, I think. Tita Lors: Yeah. Yeah. Well, OK, so there's one person that said, ⁓ you have to tap your card in and out. That's brilliant. I remember riding the subway in Boston as a youth with people pushing around to avoid paying. So I applaud you. And then somebody from Netherlands said, It's very unwise to check in but not check out. You essentially pay 20 euro forward but not lose it until you're checked out. Robin Axline: inside all of us that's been kind of baked into society where it's like you have to earn it or something to ⁓ be worthy of it I guess to like be valued as an individual which you know we're especially finding out a lot of that is just such a patriarchal construct at this point like that's really not reality but ⁓ Tita Lors: Which then calculates the cost for the fare. So if you go for my usual trip, I'd pay 20 euros forward upon checking in and when I check out after arriving at my stop, I only really lost about five and 20 I don't know five euros and 20 cents. I don't know however However, if I never check out for the day I'll have lost 20 euros, so it's very unwise to check in and never check out Robin Axline: Nevertheless, it's like we all kind of grew up with that ethos and the ether, I guess. So I think that's why you have have to earn it kind of vibes. And I think maybe that's changing a bit, but I don't know. It's hard to know because there's hard swings. ⁓ depends. That's kind of expensive. ⁓ Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. I was thinking also too about like I deserve it more than you because I have come from a lower place where I've like climbed up. You know, what's the term? Yeah, exactly that one. Yeah, that one, right? did that. Exactly, the hand motion. Yeah, right? Like I did that and so I deserve it more than you because I worked harder than you. Right? Robin Axline: Yeah, but this person didn't check in at all. So I was just thinking like if she got help. Yeah. Mmm. Tita Lors: Yeah, they did check in at all. Uh huh. Oh, okay. Here. Hold on. Hold on. To answer your question in London, if you tap in, um, don't tap out and then try to tap in again another day, it'll register it as an invalid journey and charge you the maximum possible fare since it didn't know where you went. Robin Axline: ⁓ pull yourself up by your bootstraps. I think that's what it is. All you had to do was like do this motion. I'm like, okay, yeah. Yeah. Whoa. Mm. Tita Lors: If we had to tap out for the journey, will remove the highest fee you could have paid for that journey the next time. I get it, because also I have more compassion for that story too. If it was, ⁓ rooted for Kelly Clarkson and Katy Perry and ⁓ what's her name? ⁓ not Princess. ⁓ Robin Axline: So basically my question was like, would they have to tap out to get out? I think they would. Tita Lors: Yeah. It sounds like you do. Yeah. You have to tap out to get out. Otherwise, yeah. Robin Axline: So. That's kind of messed up because the person that got them in knew that they would have to tap out. Tita Lors: Yeah. ⁓ But they weren't let in. They smuggled themselves in. Robin Axline: Yeah, that's, yeah. Well, I'm just saying that's like. That's so funny. ⁓ man, I was just hoping like to add to the pettiness that the guy, excuse me, the guy that was helping her get out would be like, well, where's your card? And then she'd be like, ⁓ I don't have one. Tita Lors: So who's being messed up here? She is! you Uh-huh. Robin Axline: Yeah, there's that. That's definitely an element in there. But I kind of wanted to approach this as almost like a devil's advocate type thing right up top just ⁓ because. Eventually, I'm sure some of the his family pettiness things will come up because it seems like more and more stories are circling around. But this one, I just thought was interesting that. Tita Lors: I mean, I guess. Well, that's not for him to worry about because he just let the Metro people or the tube people deal with it, right? Like, no, I think he's definitely, it's definitely a petty thing to do. And I'm here for it. Robin Axline: No. Yeah, yeah. ⁓ yeah. Yeah, I just don't. It's for sure petty. I'm half and half because of the out the out situation. I because if I was aware, I'd be like, well, they definitely get their just desserts if I didn't hook it up for them to leave. But. Tita Lors: Yes. Yes. Robin Axline: folks on the internet or wherever just kind of picking at that in particular. It's like, why? ⁓ And so I was just thinking about, yeah, the differences are on having your identity being in the public eye versus not. And just came up with how most of us try things privately and fail quietly, but his fails are in the headlines. Tita Lors: you So is she not getting her just desserts at all? you think? Robin Axline: I don't know, because she could probably just say to the conductor, ⁓ I just lost at her. don't. Something. Tita Lors: ⁓ I see what you're saying. Yeah, like if you have to have a card to get in and out or if it's like how in New York now you can kind of just use your own card and tap to pay. Yeah, I get it. Wow. Right over my head. Yeah. Robin Axline: So I guess if I had millions, I would also be in my experimental era. Like, no joke. Yeah. You just tap. Yeah, so that's where I'm getting hung up. That's where I'm getting like, hmm, about. Tita Lors: I mean, I presume she would have to explain something, right? Like, where's your entry fare? How did you pay for this? ⁓ In some way, shape, form. I'm sure she's getting some kind of, it sounds like he thinks she's getting just desserts. Like, so there must be a system. I'm looking through, Robin Axline: Yeah. Tita Lors: at all and I think that that's with cancel culture and all of that stuff and and one of the reasons why I was it I've had this idea of wanting to have a podcast for like five years now more than five years and didn't start trying different podcasts until like last year two years ago oh gosh wow that's but Robin Axline: Yeah, that's what I was trying to figure out because I was like, well, unless they were like, it's going to make them late to get on the Eurostar or something would be pretty messed up, too. But it's not like you said, it's not the dude's fault. He just observed this happening, essentially, but did slam the gate. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And made sure she couldn't get out without having to explain herself. Yeah. Yeah, before I fully leave, let me just make sure I have everything I need right here. Mm-hmm. Which anybody would do. It could be my total accident. poor me. I just, I forgot to check earlier, so I'll check now. Oh, I have everything. La la la. Robin Axline: Yeah, and then just like take its time. Like, do I have my passport? Tita Lors: because failing out loud is really scary and you're not supposed to ever and that was a really uncomfortable feeling to have. ⁓ know, what was my point? But yeah, if we could. Robin Axline: Exactly. I mean that bit did seem a bit petty. I almost feel like this is pettier than the Tita Lors: teach people to fail loudly. ⁓ my point was cancel culture. Yeah, with how cancel culture is right now, like people really, really don't want to fail anymore. People don't want to make mistakes anymore. You're not allowed to have. Robin Axline: password change. ⁓ yeah. I don't know, because, I mean, the password change is pretty messed up too, because you have to live with that person. You just have to be like, hm, hm, hm, you didn't pay. then, it's funny, these are both pay stories. Tita Lors: ⁓ that story arc where you were a shitty person at one point or you said something shitty at one point but then you've amended your ways and you're a way better person now like that's not allowed anymore because of cancel culture you make one mistake presently or in your past and well the end of you you ⁓ get to be a better human being or have ⁓ a narrative where you ⁓ Yeah, a walk away. Yeah, they are. ⁓ I didn't even I didn't make that connection until now. OK, so which one's more I'm trying to think of. Inconvenience wise, which one's more inconvenient? Let's go. Robin Axline: Yeah. No, that's yeah, these are both inconveniences to. Tita Lors: Let's see, so the exact definition of petty is something of little importance or trivial. Robin Axline: I think everybody kind of has, but it's not in the public eye. Tita Lors: Yeah. I know, especially for us, thankfully. Yeah. yeah, well, like when MySpace and Facebook were new and trying to get an understanding of like what stays forever, there have been some things where I'm like, oh, I probably shouldn't have posted that. That didn't have to be on my feed. Or whatever, know. Robin Axline: Yeah. Like, yeah. Tita Lors: So something vindictive or spiteful. Okay. Robin Axline: Yeah. Hmm. Tita Lors: Okay, so our stuff can be around how trivial is this. ⁓ The more trivial, the more better. How spiteful. Again, more spiteful, more better. I'm Englishing so well. Robin Axline: Yeah, that's totally true. Yeah. It's English, that English. Tita Lors: And then the overreaction, right? Or is it like, is it an overreaction? How big of an overreaction to the situation? So the bigger the better, I guess. For all of these. Robin Axline: Yeah, no, 100%. And you know, I think unfortunately, like what ruins it for people that do actually change is the people that just remain shitty. And they kind of like are in denial and they're like, well, I didn't mean it when I said this, but then they keep doing the same thing. And it's like, come on, bro, like you're not changing and you're ruining it for everyone that is. Yeah, so those are the qualifiers. I like that. OK. Tita Lors: Yes, qualifiers. I'm going to hold on. Let's so that we can remember our qualifiers for next time. So qualifiers. What? Nobody wants to hear this. Nobody wants to hear us think through it. Okay. Sorry, Robin Axline: We can edit this part out. Tita Lors: Yeah. Yeah. Or I publicly apologize for this thing that was very bad that I did. It'll never happen again. And then it happens again and again and again. Robin Axline: Sorry if you fell asleep while you were driving and... Yep, yep, yep. So there's that. I just had a couple more little questions on this. ⁓ One, I was thinking about development when you're younger. I was gonna ask you, do you think it's normal to try on identities in your 20s? And does money delay identity formation? Do you think, especially with somebody like that? We're not responsible. ⁓ Yeah, I think that's it. ⁓ Tita Lors: I feel like those are those are three good. Good qualifiers, Robin Axline: Mm-hmm. Tita Lors: when you start to learn how to crawl and to walk and to run your world gets bigger. You're not just in your parents lap anymore. You're not just in your crib anymore. Your world is bigger and you're trying out different things and learning for the first time. And then you go to school and you learn that these people have different personalities and you like it or you don't like it. And so you start trying that on and seeing how that fits for you. And then you do that in high school. In high school, you're really trying to figure out that's when you're playing pretend adult. You're like, how do I want to maybe I want to adult like this. in the real world, know, and trying to explore your actual identity outside of your family. Now you're learning things that your parents didn't teach you. Robin Axline: Mm-hmm. Tita Lors: about the world. I mean, you're learning it in school too, but you're learning things from your peer groups and from people who have influenced them. There are things that are coming to you that your parents have no fucking clue about. So your world is expanding even more and then you get a car and expands even more. You go to college and even more so, right? And so, yeah, I think in your twenties, you're still pretending. You're still practicing adulthood. Not pretending, but you're still practicing adulthood. I don't really think that Robin Axline: Yeah. Yeah. Tita Lors: your prefrontal cortex, you know, for women, that's in your mid early 20s. It's fully developed. then for men, it's late 20s. ⁓ Maybe sometimes early 30s. I don't know. There's some people like, are you? I've met you. If it doesn't, I don't know. Something's going on there. Yeah. So how trivial, let's do the internet one. Let's do yours first. ⁓ So how trivial is it to like take somebody's, yeah. Robin Axline: Okay. I don't think it's very trivial, because it's kind of like a necessity. Okay. I know I'm like, is it formed or? Tita Lors: Is it though? You got a phone. You have hotspot. Robin Axline: ⁓ Well, what if you didn't have a data plan like me? Then you'd be really screwed. It would cost you a lot of money. ⁓ yeah, library. Okay. This is hilarious. Tita Lors: ⁓ you have coffee shops? Robin Axline: Still, yeah, still cooking. Tita Lors: Exactly. Yeah, or maybe you cooked a little bit too much and it's a little fried. Something's happening. I'm not sure. But but yeah. ⁓ So there's that aspect of like learning and trying to figure out who you are, and I don't know if ⁓ money ⁓ Exactly! There's lot of free places to get internet these days. So is it really that trivial? Right, like, so how trivial really? It's... I wouldn't say it's not trivial, right? Or what are we rating? Like, the... like having... ⁓ internet, right? Okay, yeah. Robin Axline: Yeah, so, ⁓ I guess, or I feel like that's the result of this person being petty, is not having internet, so. Tita Lors: Yeah, it's not having internet. Yes. So trivialness of results or whatever it is. So it's not inconsequential. It is. A lot of people work from home or like go to school or whatever. It's not inconsequential. But I wouldn't say that it's. Robin Axline: Yeah, no, that's fair. Yeah, because that's a whole other adjustment, probably. Tita Lors: Yeah, there's really no, there's no incentive to have to try to figure it out, right? Like, ⁓ I go back to thinking about cave, when we were all cave people, right before we were homo sapiens, were homo. Robin Axline: Yeah. Mm-hmm. you Tita Lors: I don't want to say it, I don't know. But before that, evolution, it was necessary to learn and to grow and to find a place in society, in your village, in your whatever, because that was safety related. And it made you purposeful. And if you weren't purposeful, then you got kicked out of the village and it was very dangerous to not belong and be part of the village. But if you have an unlimited amount of resources, of a deal either because you can get out, you can find like other ways to get internet. It's gonna cost you more but you know you should have thought about that before being so nonchalant about not giving somebody three dollars. Robin Axline: Ha ha. Yeah. Right. That's fair. You better be able to like make up for it. Like go to the library or something. If you can't cough it up. Tita Lors: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, if you're really, really, really that broke, you know you're going... Yeah. Yeah, exactly. sources, then there's really no push, nudge, or reason to find it out anytime soon. If ever. Robin Axline: Yeah. Didn't just prepare yourself. Like, unfortunately, you're to have to figure something out. ⁓ OK, so hmm. I guess it's more trivial than I thought. Mm. Right. Yeah, yeah, there's definitely that. Yeah, there's definitely two sides. I don't know, yeah. But ⁓ basically, I was just thinking like, ⁓ why is it that we see, especially like a rich kid flop as entertaining? And I came to the... Tita Lors: gonna go maybe like a fourish? ⁓ Yeah, I hope that answered. Robin Axline: Hmm, I'm gonna give a solid five on that one. Okay, cool. So... Tita Lors: Okay, yeah, I was thinking four or five. Okay. How spiteful is the behavior? Robin Axline: Yeah, it's I'd say that's pretty spiteful like because they're just getting your like kicks from doing this. It's not helping anybody really. So I'm going to give it I'm going to give it like a solid eight. Tita Lors: Yeah. Robin Axline: thought that like, I guess there's just something satisfying about watching someone with every advantage and then in the end still being confused. That was my thought about that. Because I was trying to like, why does everybody care so much? I guess there's definitely a lot of that. Tita Lors: It's amusing. I would have said, I think would have said like seven maybe, because it is, it's pretty spiteful. Like I'm inconveniencing you, right? Like I'm not inconvenienced, yeah. We could seven and half even, okay seven. Okay, and how much of an overreaction? ⁓ Robin Axline: Yours might be totally know. ⁓ Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah, because it's like get your shit together or I mean I think also at least for me, I don't want to speak obviously I can't speak for everybody but for me it's like the thought if I had those resources the things I could do Robin Axline: Yeah, so let's do seven. Yeah, seven. Okay. Ooh, I thought, man, I would say, after discussing, would say four. Yeah, yeah. Tita Lors: right, the things that I dream of doing now of where my life could be and how I could uplift myself, my family, my community, the differences that I could make if I only had the unlimited resources that this person has and they're wasting it. They're just wasting it. And I think maybe to go back to your earlier question about why is, why is that so frustrating? Something like that, I don't know, right? Like something about resentment, right? Yeah, that is something. Uh-huh. Four overreaction? Okay. Is it? Do I think it's an overreaction? Yeah. Four, yeah. Robin Axline: Or maybe, maybe I might do five. Maybe I'll do five. Tita Lors: Yeah, I was thinking four or five. You want to do five? Four and a half? Robin Axline: Really? I guess if we're doing halfsies, then 4 and 1 half. OK. Tita Lors: Yeah. OK. Oh, Robin Axline: Okay. Now the tube of it all. Oh, I was going to mention like the author of that story was like very eloquent in their description, like very British, I thought. Like aplomb and what are these other words? I'm like, wow. Tita Lors: Hahaha! Robin Axline: Right, yeah, and that's where it's like, is this petty or not? Kind of jumps in too. ⁓ yeah, yeah, hair toss. Totally. But yeah, so in the end, ⁓ I kind of wanted to do my rating system. I'm still workshopping, but. ⁓ Tita Lors: Yeah, I don't. Yeah, right. All these words is like, I'm not intelligent enough to read. ⁓ Which part where I'm like, I'm better than you ⁓ Robin Axline: I just had to get in my British mind and I'm like, ⁓ okay, yes, yes. Tita Lors: I know. Part of it was like, should I fake an accent here? Robin Axline: You could have, I would have been impressed. Okay, so the first one is trivial results. ⁓ Tita Lors: you ⁓ Mm-hmm. Okay. Robin Axline: Like I said, I kind of wanted to like think of something that had to do with the story and then rate it on a one to 10 scale. 10 being the most petty. So I've decided this particular story, I'm gonna give it a four out of 10 job applications. Tita Lors: Yes, trivial results for. Robin Axline: ⁓ so, man, so that's more like the for the person that got trapped in the. Tita Lors: Yeah. Mm hmm. I don't think that that could be potentially big problems, right? Like, I don't know what the rules are about not paying or about theft or whatever. So they could potentially get into a big amount of of trouble. Robin Axline: Yeah. Tita Lors: amount of petty. Wait, but who's the- can we clarify, who's petty? Is it society as a whole or is it Beckham not being able to get his shit together? Robin Axline: Yeah. Yes, it might not be so trivial. I'm gonna do eight, I think. Yeah? All right. Tita Lors: Yeah. Robin Axline: Oof. In my, it could be either one, but I was going more for like the audience just clowning them online all the time. Tita Lors: Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I'm gonna agree with you on that one. All right, so spiteful. Yeah, it's pretty, it is. The results could be consequential. Like, it definitely will have an impact on their day. They're going to be late for whatever, wherever they were going, potentially. ⁓ Robin Axline: Pretty, it could be consequential. Okay. Spiteful. Tita Lors: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, okay, yeah. Yeah, I think. Robin Axline: Not like I think he's ⁓ justified in all of it, but because he's just doing whatever he wants. anyways, yeah. Yeah. They could get busted or just late. Both not so great. Tita Lors: Okay. Okay. I can read that. ⁓ good job, applications. Let's see. Yeah, yeah, exactly, because we don't know where they're going. yeah. All right. How spiteful is his behavior? Robin Axline: Okay. And then, ⁓ Spire. Man, spiteful, spiteful, spiteful. Tita Lors: I think it's lower because it is it's petty it's kind of ridiculous so maybe like a two or three amount of petty that you're clowning him like you're just going to feel bad and you wish that you had his resources yeah like if anything you're more jealous than petty so yeah yeah yeah I think I would go to three Not me looking up spiteful definition. Robin Axline: I mean, truly, like they could have been way more spiteful. They could have done something even crazier. Mm-hmm. Tita Lors: Yeah. Mm So showing or caused by malice. So they definitely could have like turned around and been like, she didn't pay. Robin Axline: Yeah, I know, absolutely. That's pretty funny. Yeah, yeah, that's why I was like teetering on a three, four, you know, I stuck with a four. So, yeah. Ooh, yeah, yeah. Or like, stop following me. Yeah. Yeah. are you? Listen to me. I saw you earlier. Are following me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, in that case, I'm going to give it like five and a half. Tita Lors: Yeah, right. She walked through. ⁓ my gosh. Yeah. Why are you so close to me? Robin Axline: Okay, fair. That's great. Yeah, so that was my petty quarter. ⁓ I've just got one more little bit here. ⁓ Tita Lors: Yay. ⁓ OK. Seriously, not today, Satan. Robin Axline: And there's another one I'm workshopping. It's minor inconvenience or major reaction. And so this is going to be just, you're going to just say justified or unhinged, like in a rapid fire. Tita Lors: Okay, yeah. I like that we're mostly on the same page. All right, how much of an overreaction is it? Robin Axline: ⁓ good, ⁓ I don't think it's much of an overreaction at all. Tita Lors: I don't think so either. because it could be honestly something that anyone else would do. You wouldn't. It's so under the radar, really kind of a thing that someone might actually do it if on purpose because they really don't know if they have those things. Robin Axline: So it's, okay, let's go. Someone not saying, oh, no, no, no, no, like, come on, rapid fire. Just like, don't think too hard. We're just gonna do, yeah, like I said, justified or unhinged is petty, obviously. So here's the first one. It's someone not saying thank you when you hold the door. Do you think you, like, Tita Lors: I don't know why I'm so nervous. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I got this. Robin Axline: Yeah, it's kind of. Tita Lors: Okay. Okay. ⁓ Robin Axline: ⁓ I see what you're saying. Yeah. Tita Lors: Yeah, right. Not on purpose to hurt somebody, but on purpose, like, ⁓ let me actually find my stuff. Robin Axline: Yeah, or like I've you know, I ride the train several times a week and there are things like that that happen where I don't act on it but it sometimes I do think like, ⁓ this person cut in front of me or they don't deserve to like, they're trying to like get in the door and what would happen if you know, I didn't move or I would never do that but ⁓ yeah, so to actually act on it though. ⁓ you ruminating if that was petty, like that they didn't say thank you. Tita Lors: Is that justified or unhinged? I feel like. Robin Axline: Yeah. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Eww. Yeah. Robin Axline: Yeah, I think so. Okay, I should have started with a easier one. ⁓ Okay, let's see. A friend watching your story but then not replying to your text. ⁓ Happens a lot. And you're upset about it, is that petty or justified? Tita Lors: Yeah. Uh-huh. mean? I'm not go- so if I see somebody do something that they're not supposed to do, maybe it is a little bit petty, but I'm not going to go out of my way to help them. Right? Like if I see somebody, let's say they walk through a door and somebody's coming up behind them and they don't hold the door open and then I get to the elevator before they do and they want me to hold it, I'll stare at them while the door closes. ⁓ my friends did this to me! ⁓ Robin Axline: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Tita Lors: justified. Robin Axline: Yeah, that's, I'm like petty or justified. Justified or unhinged, yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right, let's try another. Oof. ⁓ I know, okay. Somebody correcting your pronunciation mid-story. Are you gonna be like super miffed or just? Tita Lors: It's probably unhinged, honestly, but I'm gonna say it's justified. Robin Axline: Yeah, I got you. ⁓ Okay, so all that being said, don't think as much, back to my whole, I don't think as much of an overreaction. Yeah, we're gonna nail it. ⁓ So I'm gonna say four. Tita Lors: Yeah. Yeah. I know. We're gonna get better at this. Yeah. ⁓ I was going to be like a two. I think the person correcting me is unhinged. It's so unnecessary for you. okay, I it wrong. I'm probably already judging myself. Thanks. Robin Axline: Mmm. Ooh, you know what? That sounds even better, too. Tita Lors: Yeah, because it's not really an over- it's like... whatever. Robin Axline: Yeah. It's kind of like what you were saying. Like it's like something that somebody could actually just do that wasn't paying attention. It's like low key. So let's do two. And this one is a little bit of a similar one, but just being left on read Tita Lors: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, okay. Yeah. All right. Now let's do math. like how I feel or them. Okay, okay. So if I'm mad about it, it's totally justified, but you leaving me on read is unhinged. Robin Axline: Let's do both. Yeah, let's math it. Yeah. Tita Lors: calculator because I don't want to math in my brain. think I know what it is, but I still don't want to math in my brain. Okay, so the first one is a 16.5. Ooh, that's pretty high. Yeah. Okay, so the next one. Robin Axline: Hell yeah. Hard agree. And ⁓ yeah, so that was ⁓ my new segment that I'd like to call Minor Inconvenience Major Reaction. calculator. This is great. It's more fun, yeah. Tita Lors: we take like ⁓ a commercial break? ⁓ Okay, awesome. ⁓ my gosh! Are you ready? Are you ready? Who do you think won? Who do you think won? Really? Are you ready for this? Can you see it? Robin Axline: Let's do it. Was I right? Was I right? Yep. I think you won. Yours won. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What? Tita Lors: 15.5. Yeah. Uh huh. I know. I really thought we were so, yeah, like one point away. I think the spitefulness and the overreaction really pulled through for the internet thing. Yeah. Robin Axline: No! ⁓ that's wild! Dang, so close! Yeah, yeah, I did. It did. ⁓ Great. So, all right, round one. Tita Lors: I... Round one. Robin wins. Okay. Robin Axline: Woohoo! ⁓ inconvenience. Tita Lors: for the win nice this was fun I really enjoyed this I might not edit as much as yeah Robin Axline: Yeah. Ha Tita Lors: But I mean, do you all agree? should the inconvenience have won or should the, you know, pay for the tube be should that have won? Yeah, exactly. ⁓ Let us ⁓ Robin Axline: Victor, weigh in on our social needs, or you can write us, call in. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Details will probably be in show notes whenever we figure out what our information is. ⁓ get there. Robin Axline: Well. Coming right up. But yeah, thank you so much for listening. This was so much fun to make and I hope you had fun listening. And we'd love to hear from you. Tita Lors: Yeah, for real. This was a fun episode. really enjoyed the battle. We're gonna have to do this again. Robin Axline: Yes, yes, we're going to do a bracket. It's going to be great. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yep, I'm excited for this. Robin Axline: Oof. No, I think that about wraps it up. Tita Lors: Alright, well then, guess, fuck it! Robin Axline: Stay petty. Bye. Tita Lors: Bye everyone.