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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just-Pure Intentions: The Path to True Development 8.14.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  You know this concept of tawda, which is purity of mind, which
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  means doing things for the right reasons.
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  Again, schma is very difficult to reach our level, but the
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  mindset is the more you do things for pure intended
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  reasons, the better of it is. And to avoid mixing in to
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  whatever we do. Some other motives which are
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  very natural to have utter emotives, especially if you get
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  honor, especially if you get some power because of it,
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  because some other bring an extra money because of it.
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  It's hard to ignore sorry motives, but the reality is one
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  has to. And he says it makes it much
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  purer. And we pointed out that makes
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  you a far better person when you do things for the right reasons.
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  And it is when you do things for the wrong reason.
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  When you do things for the other reasons, sometimes it gets you
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  as a productive person. Literally nowhere in
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  development, as if I am doing something great, but I'm doing
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  it because I want power. My entire mind is focused.
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  I can't split my mind. My mind really is focused about
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  the power and I'm utilizing and I'm channelling some great
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  sources and great Torah. But the sake is power.
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  There's nothing for me. Doesn't make me a better person,
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  makes me a power hungry person. The same as with honor, same as
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  with other things, bringing in money and that's my goal.
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  That becomes my main focus at times and that can really ruin
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  my development. So now he does.
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  How do you acquire this tower dot?
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  We all want to have it. We all want to do things with
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  the right motives. It's very difficult because
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  these other motives come up and they come to our mind.
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  And by the way, they're all much more natural.
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  Shaloda Shma is much more natural than the Shma.
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  The go to mindset. Are you outside motives, right
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  power or something like ego or something like money is maybe
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  like right security ever maybe notoriety.
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  All these things are things that we like and all natural.
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  So the go to are ulterior motives.
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  It's funny. You're doing something and yet
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  really the reality is you're normally doing it not for its
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  sake. The natural reason people do
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  things are not for that thing's sake.
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  That's across the whole world. Especially true when it comes to
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  its food. And it's especially concerning
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  when it comes to its food, right?
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  It's true or anything. You know the guy who does a
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  business, why does he make a product?
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  He doesn't make their product to make their product because to
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  service the world. He does so to make money.
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  Part of the person do whatever he does in any industry he does,
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  an inventor would do it. Some people have and that you
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  know, you know people who do this, they love it.
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  Or a guy plays sports and he does it because he loves
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  professional sports. If he does that, it's a fault.
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  In my opinion, he's fine. He's a far more enjoyable player
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  to watch, to follow, to be a fan of than the guy who does it for
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  the other motives and get the natural realities.
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  People when they get into that zone that normally pull to those
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  motives as a figure, as a more attractive.
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  You know, I've heard players who say at the moment they hung it
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  up, they haven't touched a ball or bat for 10 years.
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  I just heard it the other day. I said to myself, I through you
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  love the game like you don't touch it.
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  So there are a couple of reasons why they don't touch it right,
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  right. They brought it out.
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  One of the reasons is because they had somewhere along the
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  line, it was no longer because of the love of the game.
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  Eventually because of the love of the money or the love of the
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  power or whatever, the love of the the of the becoming a big
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  deal, becoming a celebrity that superseded everything else.
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  That's natural whenever you're doing anything to be focused on
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  military motives and the job is to pull yourself away from that
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  and bring back the focus to do something for its sake is
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  constantly Schma is a constant that needs to be applied to
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  everything we do. Do it for its sake.
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  Don't do it for other motives. Now, how do you acquire the
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  schma? Taura Heene Hadera and a new
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  chapter hader the way la sig amida hazot Carlo.
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  It's easy. Not for everybody.
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  The Misha qvarichta del me sig hamidota sheniyot Athena.
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  It's easy for a person who has worked and reached the other
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  previous levels of mislead Shanima.
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  But to this point, kina shell show me it's bone and a perituta
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  nugue a lampeto. If a person analyzes and thinks
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  about limited level or uses even stronger words than that, the
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  lowliness of pleasures in this world can worship Itati Lamala
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  maintained in this book him ask by him, he'll become the word
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  disgusted is a strong word. That's the word he uses and he
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  turned away. When a person realizes that
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  those motives, ulterior motives, capital, let's say I tell you
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  more of honor, the person over a while realizes honor is
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  something very fake. It's something that flies in the
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  wind, something that comes and goes.
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  It's something that even when people give you the honor, it's
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  probably not about yourself. It's probably about their mind,
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  what you can do for them. The respect and the charm that
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  you have toward people oftentimes is not because of
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  you. That's all because what you do,
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  we represent to what you mean to them.
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  That's honor is really fake. Take that for example, or what
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  other examples like the power is also something that really is
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  something that feels very good to be in control, but it's also
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  something that can actually be very frustrating and something
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  that actually usually destroys people power with us, right?
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  Look at many politicians, if they ever got involved for the
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  right reason, usually leave for the wrong reason.
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  How so? Power got to them.
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  Sometimes you got people that were on one spectrum
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  politically, and somehow they can believe in a different
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  spectrum. How'd that happen?
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  Power, God for them, power's not a good thing.
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  We all know that. So if a person over time has
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  lived long enough and not enough to realize that these ulterior
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  motives that are pushing me to do certain things, good things,
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  but the ulterior motives are really useless and are really
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  low and really do not represent what I want to become, you
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  really internalize the idea. The ulterior motives are
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  nothing. They hollow.
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  They'll have an easier time doing things.
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  Lishma, this is hard. But over time, you've learned
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  this yourself. You looked at people, you've
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  learned life and you know, honor is not a thing.
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  Power is not a thing. Even big time money is not
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  something we're striving for just to have the money, right?
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  You want to support our family, Yes, We want to live with
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  security, of course, but just to be a guy with money, just for
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  the sake of money, It's also not a thing that we care for in
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  itself. All these things you start to
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  learn all the time that they play less of a role and really
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  are less valuable and allows you to be more focused on the
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  schmalf. And I'll tell you the truth,
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  it's hard. It's something that a person
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  needs to remind themselves every single day because all these
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  other ulterior motors are natural human traits.
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  We like these things. We feel good immediately.
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  When you given given respect, when you have power, you feel
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  good. When you have the keys to
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  something, you feel great all the time.
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  It's constantly remind ourselves.
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  There's a genuine reminder that doesn't seem to help make me a
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  better person. It doesn't seem to help me in my
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  life to have these traits, to have these gifts.
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  It doesn't. These actually things, it
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  doesn't really do much for me. I've seen so many people with
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  power. They went the other way.
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  You have to remind yourself constantly when you do that, you
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  don't want to do anything with Malishma.
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  I believe it's very hard to remind ourselves, but it's
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  something that's, again, it's a natural knee jerk reaction.
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  I like power, I like honor, I like money, I like Tavao.
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  So all these things are natural to us, but all these things are
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  the three motors and all these things take people down.
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  You remind us of that, then you won't be.
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  So you know, normally we think if a guy is the SCHMA, he needs
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  to be a borderline Angel. Someone do something like schma,
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  really the schma. You know, you see people that
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  get involved in the organization that do it for the right reason.
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  And you look at the person, you say, wow, he's so naive.
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  He's really doing this for the right reason.
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  You almost consider the guy naive 'cause you know by now no
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  one really sticks in these things for the right reason.
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  Everyone always has other things up their sleeve and everyone
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  always has other goals. And it's like a jaded world that
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  allows us to think that to be genuine is not real.
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  Truth is to be genuine is actually the most real.
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  But it takes work to get to. You have to jump as all these
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  hoops, the hoops of the natural urge and pull to the human
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  nature of ulterior motives to jump as those hoops, if they
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  remind us of constantly, it doesn't do me any good, those
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  motives. It doesn't help me in my life.
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  It doesn't make me a better person.
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  Look, my children are not better off when I get that power, when
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  I get that, you know, respect doesn't help my children.
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  It doesn't help anything. It just blows my ego and doesn't
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  make me a better guy. If you remind us of constantly,
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  then you'll cherish the schma. The goal is to push ourselves to
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  be more real. The goal is to push ourselves to
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  do things that are our reason. But we have all these we're
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  bumping into. We're facing all these motives
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  all the time. So you have to push yourself to
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  say I like the schma world more than I like the oterior motor
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  world. I like myself better.
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  Sometimes people look at us in the mirror.
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  I say that's an ugly person. I don't like what I'm becoming.
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  I don't like how I'm talking. I don't like what's driving me.
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  I don't like the things that I'm thinking about.
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  I'm thinking about who said what about me, what kind of respect
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  I'm getting. People face this all the time.
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  Especially if you're in the public sphere.
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  Sphere for sure, you have to constantly look at yourself and
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  say, do I like the way I'm looking or am I really too busy
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  with publicity and talk and all that stuff.
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  That's a constantly challenge because again, those things come
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  your way, they feel good initially and you have to still
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  say I don't want that. Try doing that all the time.
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  Try being famous and not liking being famous.
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  It's hard. Try being well known and getting
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  compliments all the time and saying these up, I don't care.
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  I don't do things for the sake of compliments.
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  Oh, so difficult. All right, Guy gets a compliment
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  all the time for what he does in the community and now he tells
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  himself I'm not doing that for that reason.
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  It takes work and same thing even raising your children.
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  You're not raising your children to be troll free children and
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  people aren't impressed by them. That's not your goal.
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  My goal and raising my children is to make the best children
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  that even in raising children who we all want good kids.
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  This is Shalola Shmar and this is a little Shmar.
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  What is this Shalola Shmar? Come on.
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  Raising children. When the father gets into a
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  fight because it's something that happened to his child and
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  he knows it's not good for his child, for daddy to fight over
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  him, it's not healthy. I can make my Kitty better.
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  Kidding me. My kid knows that.
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  I get angry over something. I defend my kid, sure, but I get
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  angry because someone, you know, who's not so nice to my kid, I
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  protect my kid and that's it. Point of fall.
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  He gets no fight. He's going a little bit through
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  other motives. I always think of the soccer
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  moms or the parents and, you know, the coaches, the parents
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  on the side of the little thing and they're getting heated.
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  Why are you getting heated? Because your son didn't win the
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  game, right? That's going too far.
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  That's mixing and blending ulterior motive toward the
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  motive itself. Every area of our life can have
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  alter your motives and all natural the job you have is the
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  according to misogyny is the dislike is to lose interest in
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  those processes. Say I don't like when a parent
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  gets too angry over each other. I don't like when I like when I
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  get too much honor when I'm busy with ego.
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  These are the things you have to get rid of.
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  It's a lot of work will be the Met is law when you clarify to
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  yourself Hirotam Mamash has not without how these tracks are not
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  good. The bad for us when you really
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  believe that it will be easier for yourself to do things for
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  the right reason, the more person can rid himself from
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  these posts. You're Teddy and Khelo the
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  Tahedemakshi votab villibo. Slowly, if not till he gets a
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  call, he'll have a much easier time never even bumping into
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  that urge. But shuma slim and amasim from
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  any action El UU bimasim ahomim Carlos.
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  Rather, when he does get involved in physical endeavours,
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  he'll be like a person who's compelled to act and nothing
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  else. He's not doing it for physical
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  sake. When he gets paid, he gets paid
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  because he needs to support his family, not to make a lot of
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  money. When he gets honor, OK, very
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  nice. Someone gave me a compliment.
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  That feels good. That's not my goal.
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  When he's, you know, walks into a room and everyone stands up,
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  cool, great, now I'm going out there.
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  Also, if he drills it into his mind and to his family and to
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  his conscience, it becomes his way and he can accept and be
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  good. What's genuine life minus
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  motives? And again, is unbelievably
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  important because it's a weird thing to see how much good
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  things are done for the wrong reasons and how often people
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  have 1000 things in the head when they're doing the next
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  step. And you don't want it to be a
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  life because, well, as you said before, all those things are
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  really, you know, if a guy, I just say I'm going to take, he
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  does something into our field and he also makes $1,000,000 a
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  year. Nothing wrong with that.
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  Like, you know, I'm not questioning, I'm not jealous.
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  I'm making a lot of money. But it's very, you know, he's at
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  risk of liking $1,000,000. And he might just be the most
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  talented person and he might as well been a, you know, some
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  other line of business happens to be using Tuda.
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  But then you have to ask yourself if you have that type
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  of thing, why am I doing this? Am I doing it for the $1,000,000
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  or am I doing it for Tuda? And then you have the challenge.
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  And of course, I don't mean anybody, I'm not going to anyone
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  at all. I'm just saying this.
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  That's a simple structure and you can easily be at risk.
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  And what happens? Let's just say argument's sake.
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  The institutions can no longer pay that and that the world
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  shifted and that industry now pays $200,000.
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  Now it's constantly thinking about his $1,000,000.
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  He can live fine, but he's thinking about what he used to
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  get paid and now maybe he's doing himself.
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  I should have been in a different business.
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  One second. You were in TOADA for today's
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  sake originally. Somehow along the line, things
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  got blurred and they moved over to money sync.
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  The same is true if someone gets loads of honor.
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  It's a big deal. Now everyone talks about him,
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  everyone's busy with him, everything he has, some
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  everyday. Is he doing this because he's
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  doing something helpful in the community?
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  Is he, you know, let's say everyone talks about how great
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  kids he has. Is he raising kids for them to
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  be, you know, good people? Or is he doing that to make him
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  look prime and wonderful and well, light everything.
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  And then the risk is he might make decisions that are
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  continuing that publicity or those famous kids and stuff like
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  that. That's the worst thing.
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  Any movie you make for your children As for the sake of
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  other people seeing completely is against the Schmabi children.
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  So everything, once it loses genuine track, is dangerous, is
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  destructive, and it removes you from, even though you're doing
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  good things, good real outcomes. The goal has to be that a part
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  of me at least is doing things for their sake.
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  I do that. I build on that.
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  I learn for its sake. I get, I get charity for its
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  sake. I do rest it.
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  I raise my children, I am working on my marriage, I'm
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  working on being a good son. All these things for its own
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  sake, not to get, you know, this gift after or there's an
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  arrogance or this that. And it's the other thing.
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  You're working in the right way, You get blessed and you actually
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  become a better person. That's what I'm telling you.
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  I was stopping this.