Latest / Tits, Wit, & Grit / Finding Your Way and Finding the Punchline with Emily Williams and Amelia Raether

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Finding Your Way and Finding the Punchline with Emily Williams and Amelia Raether · Tits, Wit, & Grit

• Sara Frasca: Laura, maybe if you wouldn't mind, will you give your daughters just a brief introduction? Laura Raether: Sure, absolutely. So I can't call her a Raether anymore. My oldest daughter, Emily, she walked down the aisle last July, so she's a Williams. But she is my first born daughter, ⁓ an amazing professional. You'll get to hear all about her good success. ⁓ Currently living in the lovely state of Iowa. ⁓ my other daughter who's also on ⁓ week's episode ⁓ is Amelia. and she is living in Florida and she's a recent college grad ⁓ and she's still a Raether. So that's good. I still have a Raether, but yeah, happy to have them on obviously. They are two of the three children that I have, but ⁓ two of kind of my little family tribe. We actually have our own chat and it's called the three olives. Cause we all three might like to drink martinis. So we'll just start with that. Sara Frasca: Tits Wit and Grit is a podcast created to hold honest, intelligent conversations with women who lead, build, and navigate demanding professional lives. This podcast was born from a belief that women benefit from spaces where experience is honored, perspective is shared openly, and leadership can be discussed in both depth and candor, and maybe even a little laughter. Each episode brings forth voices that will offer insight Amelia Raether: you Sara Frasca: I that. drawn from their experience, and we will all speak honestly about leadership, resilience, ambition, and personal evolution. So let's get started. Tits, wit, and grit. us a little bit about kind of the, you know, story of growing up and female leaders, including your mom around you. Like tell us what life was like growing up in Minnesota as a female. Emily Williams: Yeah, I think I'll kick it off. We had a wonderful childhood. We were surrounded with lots of love and lots of empowered women. We always joke that in our family, I shouldn't say we joke, it stands true that women lead our family and that's for sure. We love our men, our dad, our brother, but they kind of take the back seat. Especially growing up with my mother, she ⁓ took a lot of pride in her career and she instilled that in us girls. And I think she balanced it as best she could. She wanted to show us, you can get the best of both. You can be an awesome mom. You can be present for your kids, but also you can kick ass at work. She did that. And as I'm paving my way through my career, that's what I'm trying to keep in mind. So yeah. Sara Frasca: Emily. Amelia Raether: Emily kind of just stole the words out of my mouth. But yeah, to Emily's point, mean, I, you know, up in Minnesota, just, mean, Sara you're from Minnesota, so you understand the nice, nice warmth of Minnesota people. But I mean, we had that and then we also had some hard, can I swear on here? Laura Raether: Mm. Sara Frasca: of fucking Lutely. Laura Raether: Okay. Tracy Laskos: you Amelia Raether: We come from a bunch of hard-ass women, like thick-headed, strong leaders. mean, some have different leadership skills, but others, you know, it's hard and soft leadership. It's a good mix of both. I mean, yeah, as I go into my young professional career, I have so many skills and mindsets that I've just taken a bit from each and every one of them. Tracy Laskos: That's great. Amelia, you mentioned hard and soft leadership skills. Can you share a little bit more about what you mean? And if you've got a story to exemplify that, that would be amazing. Sara Frasca: room. Amelia Raether: Yeah, I mean, you guys know Laura Raether I mean, she's, I would say she does more hard leadership. She's a little bit more tough, you know, straight cut. Don't really, I mean, she'll ask you how you're doing, but she just wants to, she wants to get the shit done. Other leadership, other women in my family do more soft leadership where it's like. Okay, let's say and let's think and let's feel and like my mom is in the corner like no, let's get it done. Like cut to the chase. Like we gotta go. ⁓ But there's best of both worlds in those kinds of leaderships. I mean, yeah. Emily Williams: And it's funny, because I think my sister and I, as we're growing up, we're opposite leaders. I tend to follow my mother. I'm a little more type A. I don't want say cutthroat, because I care what you think, but I'm also like, can we care a little later? Can we get it done now? Versus like my sister definitely takes the more soft approach, but I've... Tracy Laskos: Hmm. Laura Raether: Thank Emily Williams: I think we have the balance of both. And so we got to see both play out in successful women. And we got to kind of choose, like Amelia said, different aspects to take from both of them. Tracy Laskos: That's really, no. Laura Raether: So I'm gonna ask I'm gonna ask you both Suck a little bit of what was an old shit moment? That changed the trajectory of your life. I know you have your little you know, your lives are over yet. You got a lot more to go but Anything that comes to mind whether personally or or so far professionally? Emily Williams: Yeah, I think as we're young, we're going through ⁓ shit moments about every year, every six months, because things are changing so fast. But I would say my biggest was COVID. ⁓ It hit me when I was a junior in college. So my entire time through college or ⁓ adolescent years, I always thought like, you graduate college, you work in nine to five, you find your home base. And that's kind of how life went. And so when it, COVID came into play, things definitely changed for me. And so I got to see slight panic at first, because you didn't know what was happening, but the beauty in that is no one did. So it didn't matter if you were 65 or you were 15, we were all kind of in that same boat. And so I really took advantage of it, you could say. And when I graduated, I was like, ⁓ I'm not moving home. You know, I got my remote job and I picked different cities every year just to try out where I wanted to go. And I was lucky enough, ⁓ my fiance or boyfriend at the time, now husband, he was in that boat with me and we went along for the ride. And so we, you know, tried out five different cities and ⁓ that ⁓ shit moment turned into an ⁓ shit moment. Like things are looking good. So ⁓ it was a blessing in disguise for sure. Amelia Raether: And I would say I've had an ⁓ shit moment, but I would say I'm more of an ⁓ shit phase right now. My ⁓ shit moment started in college and when I just realized like, okay, ⁓ it was probably like the end of my junior year where I was like, ⁓ wow, I have a year left. ⁓ Okay, where am I going after this? ⁓ So I decided, you know, just stand up and just be like, okay, I gotta be a leader in my own life. I gotta be my own advocate right now. ⁓ be vocal and what I want to do and I have to, you know, start paving my way. So I think I've just, I've always been in a no shit phase since college. ⁓ But yeah, that's just how I've been navigating my, post-graduate life during this kind of uncertain time of, you know, where do I want to go? How do I want to end up there? And a path do I want to explore? What path do I want to, you know, go down and just try out? So. Sara Frasca: I can relate. I can really relate to that Amelia. I think I also when I was coming out of college I was an art major and a communications major like what are you gonna do with that and I did not know what I wanted to do and I just started trying some things and it is only now later in my career I mean obviously I'm know super young for 46 but ⁓ Tracy Laskos: That's great. Sara Frasca: It's teasing you. But I honestly recognized, again, later that some people have a deep expertise, right? Like they know they want to be an orthodontist and they're like just an amazing orthodontist and they continue developing and getting better at that. That's not me. Mine is like, oh, I think I have a little bit of interest here and a little knowledge here and a little knowledge in this area and a little knowledge. And so now I feel like I'm starting to stack those up. Tracy Laskos: . Sara Frasca: into this generalist category where I can play across a lot of things. And so I will tell you, just be patient with yourself too, because I had friends again that was like, you know, like I'm gonna be a graphic designer. And it's like, that's all that is like my passion and everything I wanna do. My brother, my brother has never had anything unrelated to hockey in his life. Like that's his thing. And it's like, ⁓ man, here I don't have a thing. And so again, Amelia Raether: Yeah. Sara Frasca: That's my kind of counsel to you is just like, be patient because could be you turn out to be like me and it's like, ⁓ you're just stacking knowledge and your expertise will come when all that knowledge starts stacking on itself. Amelia Raether: Yeah, and that's what I feel like right now. It's like building this layered cake, you know, and it will start to look pretty. I know the end result, we'll get there, but just right now we just got to build the cake layers and then frosting and decoration can come later. Tracy Laskos: There's a cool. ⁓ They call that a passionate individual. It means that, yeah, there's actually a terminology for it in your multi-passionate. Yeah. And it's a lot more individuals, particularly women nowadays than ever before. Laura Raether: You Sara Frasca: Let's go. Amelia Raether: Yeah Emily Williams: Yeah. Tracy Laskos: previously, you know, if you didn't know what you were doing, where you were going and how you were getting there, it was a problem. Whereas now it's like, okay, that's okay. I mean, like at Emily's point, she tried five different cities. What fits, what works, what doesn't work, right? So yeah, it's great. It keeps the door open for whatever to come to arrive, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if we're sticking with the shit theme, ladies, what's a good shit moment? Like this is some good shit. Emily Williams: Thanks. Amelia Raether: For sure, for sure. Sara Frasca: That's it for today's episode of Tits, Wit and Grit, where bold women, big ideas, and a little bit of fearless attitude collide. Emily Williams: Meals. Amelia Raether: Yeah, I'll take a little bit of this one. I think a good shit phase. As much as I talked about how I'm in my own shit phase, I feel like I'm also in my good shit phase where I work in event activation right now, part-time for a marketing service company. And we do event activations for the IndyCar series. So seeing... you know, the end result of something that you've worked so hard for come to fruition and hearing the positive feedback come from it. Like, I mean, my coworkers can tell you like we walk out of the track, just patting ourselves on the back. Like we did that. Like we, we made those people feel comfortable in this space and we made them feel proud to be there. Like without our hard work and dedication, like those, those end results couldn't have happened. So I think just seeing Tracy Laskos: If today's conversation sparked something for you, share it with someone who needs it and make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss what's coming next. Amelia Raether: the results of all your hard work. I mean, it's good shit. Sara Frasca: Mm-hmm. feeling. Tracy Laskos: Bye. Emily Williams: I'm nervous. Laura Raether: Mm. Mm-hmm. Emily Williams: Yeah, I think mine, I'm just coming into my ⁓ shit or good shit moment and that's hitting a point in my career. Although early, I'm starting to feel more confident. I think that your first couple years out of school, you're just grinding and figuring it out, like what works for you, where's your voice. And I think within the last year and a half or so, I've really... Tracy Laskos: Thank Emily Williams: I felt confident and I feel confident talking to leaders or different ⁓ groups within my organization and I feel like my opinion matters and it's a good feeling to have. Sara Frasca: Awesome. That's awesome. Okay, so I think that leaves us with no shit. So the idea here and the question is what kind of moment have you had or, you know, kind of experience where you're like, yeah, no, no shits, no shits given. Amelia Raether: you Hmm. Emily Williams: ⁓ I think that's like my mentality through my entire life. I don't do things I don't want to do for the most part. And I know that sounds so Gen Z of me, because they love to say us Gen Zers don't like to do stuff. But you know, on the other hand, it's like, there's times where I'm like, no, I'm not taking it, or I'm not doing it, or no, that project doesn't align with what I think or. Laura Raether: Remember, show up with confidence, trust your wit, and never underestimate the of grit. Thank See you next time. Emily Williams: even outside of it, whether it was college or on a sports team, and you didn't agree, I think there's a respectful way to speak up and say, you know, this didn't work for me or I don't want to say I'm not willing to try it, but I don't think I'm going to succeed if I do it, whatever path was laid out for me. want to pick my path. So I think that's probably the, I don't want say the mantra of my life, but It kinda is. No shit. So... Sara Frasca: love that. Great. Amelia Raether: I would say like my notion is like my notion non-negotiables is like a bad mentality when it comes to a project or just, you know, starting your workday and you just have that bad mentality or you're dealing with people, you're working with people that have that bad work mentality. It's like, I don't put up with that. It's like, we're all here for a reason. We're all here to try to get to the end result. you know, no shit. We won't take it. Like, come on people. Sara Frasca: I'm sorry. So Laura, I have a question for you that's somewhat related, but did they come out like this or was it evolved over time? Like Emily and Amelia's, you know, kind of perspectives. Emily is like, yeah, like I'm going to say, you know, it seems like she's a straight talker, kind of like you and Amelia, you kind of have the soft part of your mom. You know, I'm sure you both have both, but I'm generalizing in the moment. Like, is that how they came out of the womb? Laura Raether: Yeah, pretty much. Sara Frasca: Yeah, cute. Laura Raether: Yes. Tracy Laskos: That's great. So besides your mom, ladies, who's been an inspirational female leader to you and what really caused you to look at them from that perspective? Emily Williams: ⁓ that's hard. ⁓ We have so many. My mom has two amazing sisters that are, one's about five years older and one's about 15 years younger. And so I've had the blessing to be the same age gap ⁓ to my youngest aunt as my mom is to her. And so we've all kind of grown up together and... ⁓ watching my aunts go through their adversity and how they handle it through life. Sometimes life didn't handle them the best cards, but they figured it out. And I think we figured it out because we all leaned on each other, which is ⁓ quite beautiful to see. I love when female leaders, whether it's a personal reason or a professional reason, they lean on each other because it takes a village and especially a A female village is pretty badass. watching that transpire through life was pretty amazing. And then I've really lucked out and I work at a company that's 93 % female. And so I was very fortunate. I've had two wonderful bosses that have taken me under their wings ⁓ and just have ⁓ guided me through. whether I started as like a marketing coordinator to now to the business development more operational side. And they've been so positive and encouraging to keep me going forward. And so just watching again, almost an entire female company run. And I mean, we've been female for a long time, but it's 20 years in the making and still going. so, yeah. I'm around women all the time, so it's been wonderful. Sara Frasca: great. Amelia Raether: Yeah, we really are around women all the time. I mean, like Emily said, growing up with such a strong woman base in our family is just been a blessing. Definitely not in disguise. I mean, they they're vocal about their leadership skills, whether like I talked about before, it's soft or hard leadership skills. They they let it be known, which is just a great way to go about being a leader. But on top of that, you know, working in the event activation, you know, hospitality world of it all, you have to be kind of like your own leader and you have to lead people in order to get something done. So I definitely look up to my boss that I work with very closely and that's also a predominant service industry too. So it's, it's been a blessing. Emily Williams: I just want to note for my bachelorette party, because I love my women so much, I couldn't just take my bridesmaids. So we took, I think there was what guys, 22 of us that went, all women, because I've now, ⁓ whether my husband likes it or not, I've taken in his side as well. So we all, like his grandmother, his mom's aunts, we all went on this, bachelorette trip together and it's the best way I could have celebrated. So. Sara Frasca: That's awesome. Gosh, cool. Emily Williams: Yeah. Tracy Laskos: Thanks. Laura Raether: Definitely was a good time. Sara Frasca: Okay, I have a question about young women today. So I mean, obviously, you know, we're older than you. So sometimes we're not as in touch with kind of the challenges. And so tell me even, you know, it can be professional, it can be personal, but what do you feel like are the themes right now that are kind of giving young women a hard time? Emily Williams: I think, and maybe this was the case with you guys, but I think it's competition among each other. I think, I mean, we've all heard it before. Women are their own worst enemies. And unfortunately, I think that's still a big part of the Gen Zers and millennials. ⁓ I think there's a lot of comparison that happens, whether it's physical or professional or personal, ⁓ you're constantly comparing because you're constantly seeing it. So it's not even like, you're meaning to do it, it's just happening. And so I would say that's one of the major challenges. Luckily, we had all of you guys to break some pretty big barriers in the corporate world ahead of us. And so I will say that that path is much smoother, although bumpy at times. think ⁓ women are getting their foot in the door a lot quicker, if you will. ⁓ But yeah, it's competition among us. Amelia Raether: Emily kind of stole my answer out of my mouth. ⁓ Yeah, I would say competition is one for women of my generation, for sure. Sara Frasca: You both know that I had the pleasure of working with your mom for so many years at General Mills and I was reflecting back earlier today and kind of telling someone the story that there used to be, and this was many, years ago, like a mandate that you had to have one woman on the board or one woman on the executive leadership team. And so I really felt like it was like, you know, like a limit. And so it was like, who's going to get the one spot, right? And so then there was this cattiness and this mean and the competition was really fierce, but I'm hopeful that's not the case today. Again, in a 93%, you know, female workforce in your company, women are not fighting for the spots, but there is still competition you feel. Emily Williams: I feel outside of professional maybe is a better. Yeah, I just feel, I mean, the day and age of social media. ⁓ and so you're constantly seeing people's quote unquote, perfect lives that are happening. I mean, they're showing you what they want to show you. And so you're comparing a lot to them. And I know there's this, this big push for influencers or, ⁓ creators with large platforms to show the good and bad, but it's still like, Sara Frasca: Okay, okay. Emily Williams: their worst day might not even be close to what yours is. And so you then are kind of like, you know, you're comparing again. So you're like, you don't even feel what I feel because you still have X amount of money or whatever it could be. And I wish that it says girls or women. Sorry, I that word interchangeably. But you just, you you supported each other. Like there's platforms big enough for this. There's corporations big enough for this. like, Imagine, if we all banded together and what if it wasn't 93 % women workforce at other companies, not just, you know, the single couple that fall into play. so I think, yeah, competition, especially in the personal side is definitely still there. So. Tracy Laskos: So being women, we're called tits, and grit for a reason. What is it that you love most about being a female in today's world? Emily Williams: me. Amelia Raether: What I love being most about being a female in this world is like, it's the leaning over to the woman sitting next to you at the salon and asking what nail color she's getting, you know? It's the glances we give each other when, you know, we have to lift up our luggage over the overhead bin in the airplane when the man is sitting right there that could have helped us out. It's, you know, asking, who has a tampon in the bathroom? Like, it's just like this silent code of conduct. Laura Raether: It's good. Amelia Raether: that has been present for generations that we've all just like silently known and silently just like give a nod to each other. We're just like, yeah, like that's us. Like we can do it. We have been doing it. There's nothing we can't overcome and like bring on the barriers. Cause we'll just break them back down. Emily Williams: Yeah. I think too, like first off, I just love getting kittened up. I guess my favorite thing of like getting out for the night. I'm like, I love it. I love taking two hours to get ready and I don't care if you're going to roll your eyes at me and say that's ridiculous. I'm taking it. I will plan my day around it because it's my little piece, my little sanctuary. And then I was just talking to my mom actually before this. I said, I love Amelia Raether: Yeah. Laura Raether: Okay. Emily Williams: the silent winds of being a woman. Like when a, I love when a man complains about something, like something as small as like, ⁓ I have a cold or I have a stomach ache. And you joke in your head and you're like, yeah, I get a stomach ache for five days straight every month when it's around my time. So just those like little, you're almost like a silent warrior in your own head. And you're just like, yeah, again, not a man hater, but it's just funny how it, how We hold in so much, I don't wanna say pain, but we hold in these what we think are small challenges of the day and we fight them silently and we keep things moving, but I think it makes us strong and I think there's power in silence sometimes. ⁓ Amelia Raether: for sure. Tracy Laskos: Beautiful. Sara Frasca: Mm-hmm. Well, maybe we should exit. Okay, good. Okay. Laura Raether: I have a question. Yeah, I have a question because I think our listeners would like to kind of hear this a little bit about grit. Each of you maybe tell when you've had a dig date and use some grit to get through whatever life throughout. Emily Williams: Yeah, I had to face grit at quite a young age. I think I was in third grade, roughly. I was diagnosed with dyslexia. And so at the time I didn't understand it. I just knew my brain wasn't quite the same as my classmates. And I think in fourth grade I was at like a kindergarten reading level. And I remember talking to my mom, I was like, I don't want to be held back. So what can we do to not hold me back? And thank God I had my mother because she's like, yeah, that's not an option for Raether girls. And so I put in the work and I was in tutoring for multiple days a week, multiple hours. And by the time I took it took years. But by the time I got to high school, I got I caught back up and then I proceeded to exceed. So I again, I wouldn't wish it on any third grader, but I didn't know at that time that those skills I was learning would only help me succeed much, past elementary school. And to be honest, in college, I did great. I figured out my shit and learned my study habits because I had to as a young girl. And it really worked out for me. So, yeah. Laura Raether: Mm-hmm. Emily Williams: It's my kind of story. Sara Frasca: Yeah, that gives me goosebumps, Emily, because I think there's a lot of people out there struggling with things and they don't know who to turn to or what to do or even just why am I different? And so I think, you know, again, you had someone to turn to, ⁓ to get help and to understand like, well, we're just going to, you know, fight through it. So, yeah, I'm really glad that you A, had your mom and B, built that grit. Emily Williams: Yeah, because it was one of those things that was told to me. was like, this is your brain. So you're going to have it the rest of your life. And I like to say it's not a disability. It's an alternative way of thinking. And so I learned different skills from it. You know, like my memorization skills are probably top tier because that's what I had to learn. so, ⁓ yeah, for any of the women out there listening, going through it, just just keep going. Just keep going. Tracy Laskos: Amelia, do you have a grit story, my friend? Amelia Raether: Yeah, I do. ⁓ I mean, I did. I do not have a learning disability unlike my sister, but I think I have to find my grid every day to differentiate differentiate myself from every other candidate that's, you know, coming out of post post grad life. I got to dig deep and show, you know, represent myself and represent how I'm different from, you know, the person sitting next to me or the other person that's interviewing for the job. I always have to. you know, show how I'm better, not better, but you know, just my own different candidate than they are. Tracy Laskos: That's great. Sara Frasca: Mm-hmm. Tracy Laskos: That's really good, ladies. And, you know, I got the chance to get to know your mom through our work together. So I've had the pleasure of knowing your mom for just over a year. And I have to be honest, she's probably one of the funniest people I know. Her level of wit is like bar none. She can pull stuff out of her hat at the drop of a pin. And I mean, I'm rolling. And so I'm just curious, is this like a hereditary thing between the Raethers? Did it pass down? What's a good wit story, maybe about your mom or that you've got to share to let us know if there's something that passed down and tell us all about it. Laura Raether: ⁓ Amelia Raether: ⁓ Well, One of her favorite lines that she used to, or she always says is "if you're going to hoot with the owls, you better soar with the eagles." I think that's something any of our family members that are listening, you've definitely heard that. ⁓ Emily Williams: Yeah, we were just. I mean, again, every challenge of life comes along and you you got two paths. You can be sad about it or the chart. and I think you should, by the way, I think you should feel a little. But I think laughter and and wit was instilled in us since we were little kids. I know my sister won't touch on this, but my sister's got the wit. She's pretty quick on her feet. ⁓ Whether it's great for a professional setting, maybe not. Laura Raether: Thank Emily Williams: but she's quick with her jokes. So I think she gets that definitely from my mother. But yeah, my mom loves to snap a couple jokes here and there for sure. Amelia Raether: Great, then. I mean, you gotta like find the punchline in your daily life. It creates the ability to set yourself free little bit, even if it is for those 30 seconds. I mean, nothing's better than being on a serious business meeting and hearing someone crack a little joke. It's like, ⁓ okay. you know, let's relax a little, you know, not take everything so seriously. mean, so yeah, find the punchline. Laura Raether: and notice. Emily Williams: Relax. Sara Frasca: Great. All right, Laura, we'll exit you for a few minutes and then we'll tell you when to come back. Laura Raether: Yes. ⁓ boy. Be nice. Emily Williams: See ya! Amelia Raether: Bye, mom. Sara Frasca: I'm curious when your mom told you we were doing Tits, and Grit, like what did you think? Emily Williams: Like when you first came out with the podcast? ⁓ I loved it. I loved it. Yeah. Because I was like, let's shake it up. You know, there's so many buttoned up professional podcasts that are about like being a woman leader. And I'm like, yeah, but what about the backs or what about the the backside of that? You know, like what's like a little more personal? Sara Frasca: Yeah. ⁓ Amelia Raether: I absolutely loved it. Thank you. Emily Williams: ⁓ whether it is professional or personal, but I think it was great. And I think it shakes up the space and lets girls or women listen to this podcast and feel comfortable. So it's awesome. We were excited. Amelia Raether: Yeah, yeah, I like how you guys do just like, you want to know ⁓ whether it's the guest or, you know, anyone else who's talking in this space, you want to understand their story. So that just, I know someone out here who's listening to this can just relate to ⁓ anything that anyone is saying on this podcast, which is just, I know it's, nice to find people that who are like, you know, especially in this hard, hard world. Sara Frasca: great. Tracy Laskos: love that. Sara Frasca: Yeah, I always had a little saying, I've told Tracy this before, I had a little saying on my desk that was from Michelle Obama and it said, start everything you do with your humanity. And I, you know, I'm a big fan of your mom's, but I do think, you know, one of the things that makes all of us, you know, the five of us on this podcast today, similar is just going back to like, we're real people. Like there's a lot of hard work that we can do and a lot of... Amelia Raether: Mm-hmm. Sara Frasca: knowledge, acumen, know, tenacity, whatever is expected, we can like find a way. But we also are like real people with hearts and care about each other and care for others. So there's a good balance, I think, in especially that Raether blood. So Tracy Laskos: So growing up in the Raether household, what is a lesson or something that you have carried forth into your adult life that your mom instilled in you and it's just kind of part of your heartbeat now? Emily Williams: ⁓ I think one I've heard too many times is life is not fair. And I think it's really hard lesson to learn, especially when you're young and everything is, you know, it's got to be fair with your siblings. But I think the younger you learn that the better it is that life's not fair, but that doesn't mean that you won't find your way. And so sure you Amelia Raether: Yeah. Sara Frasca: You Emily Williams: You might not get that job that you prepared hours for weeks for or might not get that client and you don't think it's fair because you had the best presentation or pricing or whatever it is. But something else is around the corner and another door will open and again, you'll find your way so. Amelia Raether: I would say mom always told me to be the first one to do it. You know, be the first one to raise your hand, be the first one to ask the question, be the first one to even say no, because criticism is totally fine. ⁓ So I take that with me throughout, I took that with me throughout college and always raised my hand and asked questions or raised my hand and just say, wait, that doesn't, why does that work that way? And that's brought me lot of answers and clarity for sure. Emily Williams: Yeah, us as kids, we were never discouraged to ask questions. I think it was a common saying, know, kids should be seen, not heard. That was not in our house. It was encouraged as children, you you should be comfortable around adults and you should ask questions and ⁓ Amelia Raether: Yeah. Emily Williams: The adult should be able to control their emotion if it's if they they shouldn't be annoyed with you or show that they're annoyed. Yeah, you should be open and comfortable and it was wonderful to have because now growing up we choose to hang out with her parents more than we do our friends. So. Amelia Raether: Yeah. Sara Frasca: That's so fun. Fun for them too, I know it. Yeah. So tell me, like, you you had a strong mom growing up. Tell me a little bit about, and I don't know your dad very well, ⁓ but how did they play off of each other? Like, was one the good cop and one was the bad cop? Like, what was that like? You're not. Tracy Laskos: That's precious, I love that. Amelia Raether: Mm-hmm. Emily Williams: Yeah. ⁓ we love our dad. Yeah. Amelia Raether: We do for dad. He is definitely the more softer side. Mom is the more stricter side. Dad would lay the hammer down every once in a while, but mom kind of had to been like, Rick, you know, like, come on. But dad was just like the best to run to about like, dad, I'm not feeling so good about this test tomorrow or dad, I'm not feeling too good about, you know, this meeting I have. He's just like. Represent yourself, represent me. Like, you can do it, you got this. And, you know, mom on the other hand is just like, she just pushes us, whereas dad's gonna hold our hand and like walk us to it. Emily Williams: Yeah, our dad was definitely the softer soul. Not that my mom wasn't either, it was just a difference of what we would look for. And I think that was the beauty of having both of them as parents is depending on that problem is depending who we would go to. But ⁓ my dad just was, yeah, even if it was boy trouble, my dad would sit there and listen. Amelia Raether: Very good. Emily Williams: and like he would talk it through with us and he still does to this day and so again it's ⁓ yin and yang kind of thing so we got it both and we're pretty blessed to have that so Amelia Raether: Yeah. Yes, we are. Tracy Laskos: Sounds like you had a really good balance between the two. That's beautiful. What's one thing that you would say to your mom as like a life lesson or something that ⁓ inspiration that you would share with her, adult to adult, woman to woman that maybe she wouldn't necessarily hear but for this space? Emily Williams: Yeah. That's a good question. I think I would tell her, just thank you for riding hard for us. Like thank you, whether it was again, teaching us skills as young adults and at the time it seemed frustrating to now she'll sit there and have a martini with us and let us cry it out, but she's just always in our corner. Although again, like sometimes you don't see it at that time, but. She's just always there and she's always speaking up for us. don't, she's not like a lawnmower parent, but she's just, she's telling us like, no, you need to fight for X, Y, and Z, or you need to push forward because of this. And so like, I remember one time in college, I was failing calculus. Don't ask me why I was taking calculus as a marketing major, but I was. And I called her and I'm just bawling because I... God, I think it was like a 14 % on an exam. And she's like, Em, you gotta get into that professor's office. You gotta sit there for hours. You gotta put in your work, but you're gonna pass. Because I wanted to drop at the time. And she's like, you're gonna pass. You're gonna pass. So keep going. So yeah, she rides hard for her kids and her family and her tribe. I should extend it. Sara Frasca: I'm free. Amelia Raether: Yeah, yeah, mom's mom's very good at like, mean, she'll like Emily said, she's always in our corner, but she's like, so not so far back, but far back enough where she just lets us live our own life. She lets us go forward and experience these things. And then, you know, sometimes we run with our tail between our legs, like, Mom, that didn't work out or, you know, this relationship, it's, you know, it's not working out. And she's like, I knew it all along. I just didn't want to tell you because I wanted you to experience this and I wanted you to learn. And that's one blessing that me and Emily have had is we don't really have helicopter parents that kind of shield around us and ask like, are you okay? Like, or, you know, those kinds of questions. It's very, you know, you go out and you experience it and you learn from it and, you know, we'll help you pick up the pieces, but we'll just let you do your thing. Sara Frasca: I was thinking in my head, you you talked about helicopter parents, talked about lawnmower parents. Do you have a thing that you describe your mom? Emily Williams: ⁓ gosh, that's a great question. Sara Frasca: ⁓ Emily Williams: Maybe, this might be lighthearted and she'll probably laugh at this, but maybe she's like a sunshine parent. She's just way up in the sky, but she's always looking down on us and she's always enlightened positivity. But she's not necessarily involved in our day to day. And every once in a while, she'll give us a little sunburn when we're not behaving the right way. So, like that's the way I can describe her. Amelia Raether: That's a great way to put it. Sara Frasca: is incredibly inspirational. Amelia Raether: That's exactly what it is. Sara Frasca: like it. was. Yeah, that's good. That's better than what I was thinking. I was trying to equate it to like a, you know, a bulldog, obviously. ⁓ So I could come up with some way to make it her favorite, favorite, you animal, but I didn't think of one so. Amelia Raether: Thank Emily Williams: She is a bulldog too. That's probably, she probably would prefer to be called a bulldog. Cause yeah, I'm gonna sunshine. But I don't know, bulldogs are a little lazy. And I think she's anything but that. Sara Frasca: than the sunshine parent will. It was pretty good. Yeah, that's true. That is true. Gosh. But I do want to tell you like all maybe ⁓ like with my whole heart, like you know, ⁓ everyone who has worked for your mom like would run through a brick wall for her. mean, it's like, you know, it's a funny, it's a really generalized, like every single person. It's crazy. She instills a level of trust and a ⁓ connection that is like really hard to find, especially in a big corporation. Like your mom was my boss for like nine years and Again, like I just, would do anything for her. She knew that, like she told me that, but like you guys are lucky. You've got a great mom. That's your mom, you know? Emily Williams: Yeah. That's awesome to hear. Amelia Raether: I know. Thank you. You're very, very lucky. Tracy Laskos: Yeah. Sara Frasca: I'm glad you know that, that's good. It's easier to see when you're like on the adult side. It's harder to see when you're a kid, I think. yeah, I mean, it's again, like the balance that she brought forth was a really good, you know, kind of example for me because I saw her being a great mom and a great worker, which again is what I know she wanted you to learn. But some of the women, you know, were not, they were one or the other. And it was very obvious that they weren't, you know, working so hard to make both parts of their life successful. So she was a really good example for me. Yeah. Emily Williams: ⁓ that's so awesome. I always thought what it would be like to be on the other side of her in her corporate world. I think I would sometimes be terrified to work for her, but then on the other hand, like she means nothing but good intent and she wants to see you succeed. And so that's why she does those things. And she was very similar as a parent. So. Amelia Raether: Thank you. Yeah. Sara Frasca: Yeah, that's so cool. I do have a funny story to share with you. Yeah, no, really, this is one of my favorite Raether stories. And what happened was came from Minnesota and I was taught to be very like prim and proper. And so I would call people and I would say, good morning, Laura. This is Sara, you know, my last name at the time. This is Sara Frasca calling. It's approximately 9 a.m. and I'm calling to check in with you to make sure that you knew. Emily Williams: Yeah, we'll do better. Amelia Raether: it's here. Sara Frasca: that I have a meeting later today and here's my plan. I'm going to call the person and I'm going to do this, this and this. And I just, kind of thought you might want to check in with me a little bit. And I know you guys know what's going through your heads of what your mom would say, right? So anyway, that particular day she called me and she said, Sara, if you ever leave me a voicemail over a minute long, I'm not even listening, I'm just deleting it. And I thought, ⁓ so. The funny thing was we had so much trust built up and so much love and, you know, care and compassion and all those things. I was like, ⁓ okay, I can be more succinct. And so I got the message. I got the lesson, you know, from someone. But she has a funny way of sharing her messages sometimes where you're like, my gosh. And it's like an endearing thing for me of like, yeah, I learned a ton from Raether because she just like hit it on the nail. Emily Williams: Yeah. Sara Frasca: Like there was such a kind of like love and support behind it that I was like, ⁓ okay, I got it. Like tough love, I'm good. So like you guys probably, yeah. Totally, totally. Amelia Raether: Yes, tough love is a big, big word in our house. It's like hanging outside our like front door. It's just like tough love. Emily Williams: Yeah. Sara Frasca: Uh-huh. Emily Williams: Okay. Sara Frasca: It's a beautiful thing. Amelia Raether: It is. Emily Williams: It is. Well, thank you for having us and thank you for, you know, I don't want to say taking her in or taking her under your wings, but thank you for accepting our mother for who she is. I know she's not everybody's cup of tea, but she's our cup of tea. So, yeah. Amelia Raether: you Sara Frasca: Totally, totally. Tracy Laskos: He's fabulous. Amelia Raether: And thanks for giving her this platform. When she said she was going to do a podcast, I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, the things that are going to come out of her mouth. I'm so scared. I'm glad she has you guys to kind of at least, at least show her the guard rails. I don't know. She'll follow them. Emily Williams: you Sara Frasca: She's amazing. She's so good. You know it. Yeah, well, she named the podcast too. Tracy Laskos: Yeah. Amelia Raether: Yes. She woke up, sorry, she woke up, because mom's an early riser, but when I rolled out of bed, she was like, Amelia, I've been up since 4 a.m. I finally have it. And I was like, okay, mom, what is it? She's like, it's way great. And I was like, that is it. Yes, that is completely it. Sounds good. I know it's gonna be great. Yeah. Emily Williams: We did hear about the name. Yes. Sara Frasca: Yeah and it took... Go ahead tell me. I mean, the funny thing is I am again, like Minnesota, know, crude or like kind of like, oh my God, can't, I can't that word out loud. And it took me a really long time, but you know, your mom brings some confidence and like, let's just do this. Let's go. So that was pretty Emily Williams: I'm certain. Yeah. Amelia Raether: Mm-hmm.