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17 - Do Not Listen to Yourself - The Art of Worldly Wisdom - Baltasar Gracian · The Philosophy Insights Collection

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  Do not listen to yourself. It is no use pleasing yourself if you do
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  not please others, And as a rule general contempt is the punishment for self
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  satisfaction. The attention you pay to yourself you probably owe to others to speak,
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  and at the same time listen to yourself. Cannot turn out well.
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  If to talk to oneself when alone is folly, it must be doubly unwise
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  to listen to oneself in the presence of others. It is a weakness of
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  the great to talk with the recurrent as I was saying, and eh,
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  which bewilders their hearers. At every sentence they look for applause or flattery,
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  taxing the patient of the wise. So too the pompous speak with an echo,
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  and as their talk can only totter on with the aid of stilts,
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  at every word, they need the support of a stupid bravo number one forty
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  two. Ever, from obstinacy, take the wrong side because your opponent has
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  anticipated you in taking the right one. You begin the fight already beaten,
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  and must soon take to flight and disgrace. With bad weapons, one can
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  never win. It was a stute in the opponent to seize the better side
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  first, it would be folly to come lagging after with the worst. Such
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  obstinacy is more dangerous in actions than in words, for action encounters more risk
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  than talk.'tis the common feeling of the obstinate that they lose the true
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  by contradicting it, and the useful by quarreling with it. The sage never
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  places himself on the side of passion, but espouses the cause of right,
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  either discovering it first or improving it later. If the enemy is a fool,
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  he will, in such a case turn round to follow the opposite and
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  worse way. Thus the only way to drive him from the better course is
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  to take it yourself, for his folly will cause him to desert it,
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  and his obstinacy be punished for so doing. Number one hundred forty three.
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  Never become paradoxical in order to avoid the trite. Both extremes damage our reputation.
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  Every undertaking which differs from the reasonable approaches foolishness. The paradox is a
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  cheat. It wins applause at first by its novelty and piquancy, but afterwards
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  it becomes discredited when the deceit is foreseen and its emptiness becomes apparent. It
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  is a species of jugglery, and it manners political would be the ruin of
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  states. Those who cannot or dare not reach great deeds on the direct road
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  of excellence go round by way of paradox, admired by fools and making wise
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  men true prophets. It argues an unbalanced judgment, and if it is not
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  altogether based on the false, it is certainly founded on the uncertain and risks
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  the weightier matters of life number one hundred forty four begin another's to end with
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  your own tis a politic means to your end, even in heavenly matters.
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  Christian teachers lay stress on this holy cunning. It is a weightier piece of
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  dissimulation, for the foreseen advantages serve as a lure to influence the other's will.
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  His affair seems to be in train, when it is really only leading
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  the way for another's. One should never advance unless undercover, especially where the
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  ground is dangerous. Likewise, with persons who always say no at first,
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  it is useful to ward off this blow because the difficulty of conceding much more
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  does not occur to them. When your version is presented to them. This
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  advice belongs to the rule about second thoughts chapter thirteen, which covers the most
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  subtle maneuvers of life. Number one hundred forty five. Do not show your
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  wounded finger, for everything will knock up against it, Nor complain about it,
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  for malice always aims where weakness can be injured. It is no use
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  to be vexed. Being the butt of the talk will only vex you.
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  The more ill will searches for wounds to irritate, aims, darts to try
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  the temper, and tries a thousand ways to sting to the quick. The
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  wise never owned to being hit, or disclose any evil, whether personal or
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  hereditary, For even fate sometimes likes to wound us where we are most tender.
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  It always mortifies wounded flesh. Never therefore, disclose the source of mortification
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  or of joy, if you wish the one to cease and the other to
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  endure. Number one forty six. Look into the interior of things. Things
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  are generally other than they seem. An ignorance that never looks beneath the rind
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  becomes disabused. When you show the kernel. Lies always come first, dragging
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  fools along by their irreparable vulgarity. Truth always lags last, limping along on
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  the arm of time. The whise therefore reserve for it the other half of
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  that power which the common mother has widely given in duplicate Deceit is very superficial,
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  and the superficial therefore easily fall into it. Prudence lives retired within its
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  recesses, visited only by sages and wise men. Number one hundred forty seven
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  do not be inaccessible. None is so perfect that he does not need at
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  times the advice of others. He is an incorrigible ass who will never listen
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  to anyone. Even the most surpassing intellect should find a place for friendly counsel.
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  Sovereignty itself must learn to lean. There are some that are incorrigible simply
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  because they are inaccessible. They fall to ruin because none dares to extricate them.
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  The highest should have the door open for friendship. It may prove the
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  gait of help. A friend must be free to advise and even to upbraid,
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  without feeling embarrassed. Our satisfaction in him and our trust in his steadfast
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  faith give him that power. One need not pay respect or give credit to
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  everyone, but in the innermost of his precaution. Man has a true mirror
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  of a confidant, to whom he owes the correction of his errors and has
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  to thank for it. Number one hundred forty eight. Have the art of
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  conversation, that is, where the real personality shows itself. No act in
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  life requires more attention. Though it be the commonest thing in life. You
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  must either lose or gain by it. If it needs care to write a
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  letter, which is but a deliberate and written conversation, how much more the
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  ordinary kind, in which there is occasion for prompt display of intelligence. Experts
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  feel the pulse of the soul is the tongue. Wherefore the sage said,
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  speak that I may know thee some hold it. The art of conversation is
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  to be without art, that it should be neat, not gody, like
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  the garments. This holds good for talk between friends, but when held with
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  a person to whom one would show respect, it should be more dignified to
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  answer to the dignity of the person addressed. To be appropriate, it should
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  adapt itself to the mind and tone of the interlocutor, And do not be
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  a critic of words, or you will be taken for pedant, nor a
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  tax gatherer of ideas or men will avoid you, or at least sell their
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  thoughts dear in conversation, discretion is more important than eloquence. Number one hundred
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  forty nine. Know how to put off ills on others. To have a
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  shield against ill will is a great piece of skill in a ruler. It
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  is not the resort of incapacity, as ill wishers imagine, but is due
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  to the higher policy of having someone to receive the censure of the disaffected and
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  the punishment of universal detestation. Everything cannot turn out well, nor can every
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  one be satisfied. It is well, therefore, even at the cost of
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  our pride, to have such escapegoat, such a target for unlucky undertakings.
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  Number one hundred fifty. Know to get your price for things their intrinsic value
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  is not sufficient. For all. Do not bite at the kernel or look
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  into the interior. Most go with the crowd and go because they see others
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  go. It is a great stroke of art to bring things into repute at
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  times by praising them, for praise arouses desire at times by giving them a
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  striking name, which is very useful for putting things at a premium, provided
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  it is done without affectation. Again, it is generally an inducement to profess
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  to supply only connoisseurs, for all think themselves such, and if not,
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  the sense of want arouses the desire. Never call things easy or common.
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  That makes them depreciated rather than made accessible. All rush after the unusual,
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  which is more appetizing, both for the taste and for the intelligence. End
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  of Section seventeen.