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Midday Missing - James Solak & Maya Millete · True Crime and Wine Time

0:50
Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and happy Wednesday. I hope everyone watching and
0:56
Speaker 1: those who are watching later are having a good week.
0:59
Speaker 1: I hope those of you that are in the path
1:02
Speaker 1: of Milton are getting the heck out of Dodge and
1:06
Speaker 1: getting somewhere safe. Milton looks like he's going to be
1:10
Speaker 1: a typical man and destroy a lot of things, so
1:13
Speaker 1: please do whatever you need to do to be safe. Now,
1:18
Speaker 1: I will be honest, I am a bit jet lagged,
1:20
Speaker 1: but I had an amazing time in Finland and France. However,
1:25
Speaker 1: I will say I'm happy to be back in Texas
1:28
Speaker 1: with double h Jasper and all of the fur babies.
1:32
Speaker 1: I will say in my next life, I want to
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Speaker 1: live in the French riviera where I can eat amazing food,
1:40
Speaker 1: have amazing scenery, and champagne to die for. So I
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Speaker 1: am Terry true Crime and welcome to Midday Missing, where
1:50
Speaker 1: I cover current missing person cases. Now, True Crime and
1:55
Speaker 1: Wine Time Productions is now officially tcw T Media. We
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Speaker 1: are growing and evolving to bring you even more engaging content.
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Speaker 1: But rest assured all of your favorite shows will continue
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2:17
Speaker 1: a wide range of shows, like our original True Crime
2:21
Speaker 1: and Wine Time, the Hey Hose Show, the investigation into
2:25
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Speaker 1: exclusively on YouTube, with new episodes out every Tuesday. However,
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3:00
Speaker 1: We have so much exciting content coming up that you're
3:04
Speaker 1: not gonna want to miss it, and I am excited.
3:09
Speaker 1: If you do not follow us on social media, this
3:11
Speaker 1: will be the first time you're hearing this. We have
3:14
Speaker 1: a very special episode of True Crime and Wine Time
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Speaker 1: coming on Monday, So that's next Monday, October fourteenth, at
3:23
Speaker 1: eight pm Eastern. ME and JT will have two special guests,
3:28
Speaker 1: so Chief Judge Belvin Perry Junior and Amy Mitchell. They
3:33
Speaker 1: are the co authors of The Velvet Hammer, which is
3:38
Speaker 1: I'm going to read you the little blurb they have
3:40
Speaker 1: about the book. It is a gripping true crime memoir
3:44
Speaker 1: of former Chief Judge Belvin Perry Junior, who sent it
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Speaker 1: some of Florida's most evil and notorious murderers to death.
3:53
Speaker 1: Fulfilling his oath to uphold justice, Perry provides a clear,
3:58
Speaker 1: accurate description of America's criminal justice system and explains why
4:04
Speaker 1: the death penalty can and should work and how it
4:08
Speaker 1: is applied to certain capital murder cases he either prosecuted
4:12
Speaker 1: or presided over. He also discusses his journey as an
4:17
Speaker 1: African American growing up in the segregated South, his life
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Speaker 1: as a prosecutor and chief judge, and how he ended
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Speaker 1: up presiding over one of the world's most intriguing capital
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Speaker 1: murder trials of the century, state of Florida versus Casey
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Speaker 1: Marie Anthony. So I know we all. If you're a
4:40
Speaker 1: true crime lover, you know about Casey Anthony, the most
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Speaker 1: hated woman in America. He also presided over the widow
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Speaker 1: who slowly poisoned her lovers, to the luss murder who
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Speaker 1: mutilated his victims while she was still alive, to the
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Speaker 1: serial killer who family of four, including his own child,
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Speaker 1: as well as several other violent and frightening murders. Perry
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Speaker 1: spares none of the gory details when bringing each case
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Speaker 1: back to life in his debut true crime memoir. Guys,
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Speaker 1: I have read the book The Velvet Hammer. It was gripping.
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Speaker 1: I could not put it down. And we are so
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Speaker 1: excited that he is going to be on the show
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Speaker 1: Monday with his co author Amy Mitchell. So if you
5:36
Speaker 1: have not subscribed to our YouTube channel, you will want
5:40
Speaker 1: to go and subscribe and set that little notification button
5:44
Speaker 1: so you get a reminder before we go live. When
5:47
Speaker 1: we're live, the chat will be open. You will be
5:50
Speaker 1: able to ask questions that we can pass along to
5:56
Speaker 1: Judge Perry along with Amy. So this is truly an
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Speaker 1: episode you will not want to miss. Okay, and remember
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Speaker 1: subscribing is one hundred percent free. Okay. Now, before we
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Speaker 1: get in today's case, I want to share an update
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Speaker 1: from one of our cases. On Monday. There was a
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Speaker 1: press conference held yesterday, so I am going to read
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Speaker 1: you the article about the press conference. So here we go.
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Speaker 1: It has been nearly sixteen months since Becausehawn Williams went
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Speaker 1: missing in Cleveland on June seventeenth, twenty twenty three. Kashawn,
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Speaker 1: who was fifteen years old at the time of his disappearance,
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Speaker 1: then became the focus of an Ohio amber alert. Now
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Speaker 1: for the first time in months. Authorities provided an update
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Speaker 1: in this press conference pertaining to the status of the investigation,
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Speaker 1: so the reward increased to twenty seven five hundred dollars
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Speaker 1: and the Amber alert is still in effect. Also, authorities
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Speaker 1: revealed that a recent tip reported in the last several
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Speaker 1: weeks involves a vehicle connected to Kashawn's disappearance, and I quote,
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Speaker 1: we have reason to believe he was last seen walking
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Speaker 1: away from the party and entering a dark colored suv
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Speaker 1: with a group of juvenile males, according to Deputy US
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Speaker 1: Marshall Piccoli. Early on there was information that was released
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Speaker 1: that a black Jeep was involved and was a suspect
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Speaker 1: vehicle that has been vetted and that is not accurate. However,
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Speaker 1: the new information about the dark colored suv is believed
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Speaker 1: to be true. Also, Kashawn's grandmother spoke out and she said,
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Speaker 1: there's people out there who know what happened to Kashan,
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Speaker 1: and I pray that you come forth and give the
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Speaker 1: information you have, his grandmother said during the press conference yesterday.
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Speaker 1: She said, I am not asking if you have it.
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Speaker 1: I know people have it. We're just prayerfully asking you
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Speaker 1: to come forth. She says, I do a lot of
8:25
Speaker 1: work in this community. I help a lot of people,
8:28
Speaker 1: and I want people to understand my mission is pure.
8:34
Speaker 1: I am out here to help the young people who
8:37
Speaker 1: need help, and so I'm asking the same people and
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Speaker 1: people in the community to help my family in getting
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Speaker 1: the information that we need for Kashawn. Okay. So I
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Speaker 1: want to remind everyone please go and share the missing
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Speaker 1: person fly that we posted to our social media accounts.
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Speaker 1: I also want to ask you, if you know anything
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Speaker 1: about Kashawn's disappearance, do the right thing and call and tell.
9:15
Speaker 1: Remember you can always tell anonymously to FBI dot Gov. Okay,
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Speaker 1: this family is asking please in their suffering. It's been
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Speaker 1: too long and they want to know. Okay. So today's
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Speaker 1: episode touch us on a case that it's puzzling, just
9:40
Speaker 1: as puzzling as it is heartbreaking, and we're talking about
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Speaker 1: the disappearance of James select the second. Now, James was
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Speaker 1: easy to spot. He had gray, partially gray hair, piercing
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Speaker 1: blue eyes, and a tattoo on his upper left arm
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Speaker 1: that Helen. At the age of fifty nine, he sat
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Speaker 1: off on what should have been an adventurous trip bicycling
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Speaker 1: to Florida, but something went wrong on his journey. His
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Speaker 1: last known contact was on April eighth, twenty twenty four,
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Speaker 1: when he was near Baltimore, Maryland. The journey would have
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Speaker 1: taken him through several states and his ultimate goal of
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Speaker 1: reaching Florida, with a plan stop in Serf City, North Carolina.
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Speaker 1: His trip, like many cross country tracks, had its share
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Speaker 1: of challenges that nothing can predict the alarming message he
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Speaker 1: would send to his ex wife on April eighth. In
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Speaker 1: that message, James explained that he had lost his backpack,
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Speaker 1: which contained his money, an obstacle that would make his
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Speaker 1: journey infinitely harder. But what followed in that message said
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Speaker 1: I've read flags for his loved ones. James made a
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Speaker 1: haunting statement. He said, it's really hard to cut through
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Speaker 1: skin to get to an artery. He had mentioned attempting
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Speaker 1: this eight times. That alarming message raises so many questions.
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Speaker 1: Was James in a fragile state of mind when he
11:29
Speaker 1: sent it? Was he reaching out for help, or was
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Speaker 1: this a cry for someone to find him before it's
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Speaker 1: too late, or did someone else send this message? But guys,
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Speaker 1: unfortunately it's unclear because after that message, James has not
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Speaker 1: been heard from again. Guys, that message makes my heart
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Speaker 1: race and puts me in a state of panic, because
11:59
Speaker 1: that is alarming. But what we do know is that
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Speaker 1: James was last known to be near Baltimore, Maryland, on
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Speaker 1: April eighth. His ex wife, after receiving that disturbing message,
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Speaker 1: attempted to contact authorities, and efforts to locate James were
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Speaker 1: set into motion. The search has since widened across multiple states,
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Speaker 1: but no leads have surfaced. James was an experienced traveler
12:31
Speaker 1: at fifty nine. He wasn't a stranger to physical endurance.
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Speaker 1: The idea of him setting out on a long distance
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Speaker 1: bicycling journey wasn't completely unexpected, but that loss of his backpack,
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Speaker 1: along with the troubling mental state he may have been in,
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Speaker 1: adds layers of complexity to his disappearance. I mean, did
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Speaker 1: he harm himself, did he meet with foul play, or
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Speaker 1: due to his mental state, has he lost his way? Guys?
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Speaker 1: If an individual does these physical, long distance and endurance things,
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Speaker 1: their mental state can become fragile. You are taxing your body,
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Speaker 1: your mind, you are taxing everything about you, and I
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Speaker 1: can only imagine losing your backpack with your money could
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Speaker 1: put you in a very dire mental state. His family
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Speaker 1: is desperate for answers, and the search continues. But guys,
13:35
Speaker 1: time is of the essence. Here. It is October ninth,
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Speaker 1: and if he did make it to Florida, we all
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Speaker 1: know the hurricanes getting ridy hit Florida, and if he
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Speaker 1: is there, having you know, a mental crisis, he is
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Speaker 1: even more in danger. Plus not knowing what happened in
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Speaker 1: his last contact being in Maryland, what happened to him? Okay,
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Speaker 1: So if you have seen James, or you know anything
14:03
Speaker 1: about his whereabouts, please reach out to the appropriate authorities.
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Speaker 1: You can also visit his profile on NamUs, which is
14:11
Speaker 1: the National Missing and Unidentified Person System. He is listed
14:16
Speaker 1: under MP one two three, seven, two eight, or you
14:22
Speaker 1: can check out the Missing Person Center. Guys, As with
14:27
Speaker 1: many of these cases, the smallest detail could be the
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Speaker 1: key to finding James. Guys, just think, maybe he had
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Speaker 1: a mental break, Maybe he is suffering a mental crisis.
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Speaker 1: He could be living on the streets, homeless, he could
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Speaker 1: be in a shelter, he could be in hospital a facility.
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Speaker 1: So please let's not let his story fade away. Let's
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Speaker 1: not let him become one of the many that answers
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Speaker 1: go on unanswered for years. Okay, his family deserves answers
15:05
Speaker 1: and they deserve to know what happened on that April day.
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Speaker 1: So if you have any information, please don't hesitate to
15:15
Speaker 1: come forward. You can call the Central Perks Regional Police
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Speaker 1: Department at six to one zero seven seventy nine one
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Speaker 1: one zero zero. Okay, guys, Let's also remember to share
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Speaker 1: his flyers with his picture, they will be posted on
15:36
Speaker 1: our social media accounts. Okay, guys, that's just so heartbreaking.
15:45
Speaker 1: I've often thought I've done the three day sixty mile
15:50
Speaker 1: walk before for breast cancer as a survivor. It was
15:54
Speaker 1: important to me to do that, and it is breast
15:57
Speaker 1: cancer month, and I've often do I have the physical
16:01
Speaker 1: strength to walk maybe from Houston to Dallas to Austin,
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Speaker 1: And then I think, Nope, that three days and sixty
16:13
Speaker 1: miles that I did a couple of times. I did it,
16:15
Speaker 1: once in Dallas and once in San Francisco had me
16:19
Speaker 1: in tears. So the fact that he is doing that
16:25
Speaker 1: says he is used to that physical at activity, and
16:31
Speaker 1: my heart hurts for him and his family. Now, next,
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Speaker 1: we're exploring the case of Maya Millet. She is a
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Speaker 1: thirty nine year old mother of three who vanished on
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Speaker 1: January seventh, twenty twenty one, from her home in Chula Vista, California.
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Speaker 1: Her stories, like so many we discuss, is one that
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Speaker 1: has left an entire community searching for answers and a
17:00
Speaker 1: family shattered in the wake of her sudden disappearance. So
17:06
Speaker 1: let's start from the beginning. Maya was a devoted mother
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Speaker 1: of three. She was a loving sister and a part
17:14
Speaker 1: of a close knit family. But behind the scenes, Maya's
17:19
Speaker 1: personal life was under a strain. She was married to
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Speaker 1: Larry Millet. Maya had been contemplating a divorce, and according
17:28
Speaker 1: to friends and family, her marriage had been troubled for
17:31
Speaker 1: some time. Tensions in the home reportedly escalated, with Maya
17:38
Speaker 1: confining in her loved ones about plans to leave the
17:42
Speaker 1: marriage and start a new chapter of her life. Little
17:47
Speaker 1: did anyone know Maya would never get that chance. January seventh,
17:57
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, started as a typical day for the
18:00
Speaker 1: Millet family. Maya was last seen at their Chula Vista
18:05
Speaker 1: residence by her husband, Larry, but after that day she
18:09
Speaker 1: has not been heard from again. Now, two days later,
18:13
Speaker 1: on January ninth, Maya's sister became increasingly worried when she
18:18
Speaker 1: couldn't reach her. Maya's family knew that something was terribly wrong.
18:25
Speaker 1: It was completely out of character for Maya to cut
18:29
Speaker 1: off communication, especially with her children. Guys. The last straw
18:35
Speaker 1: came when she missed her daughter's eleventh birthday and milestone.
18:41
Speaker 1: Maya wouldn't have missed without a serious reason. With growing concern,
18:48
Speaker 1: Maya was reported missing to the Chula Vista Police Department.
18:52
Speaker 1: The search began, but as the days and weeks dragged on,
18:57
Speaker 1: her family's worse fears were become a reality. Sorry, guys,
19:04
Speaker 1: my nose is itching. I think if your nose it
19:08
Speaker 1: just it means you're gonna come into a lot of money.
19:10
Speaker 1: So I don't know. Let it itch. As investigators dug
19:14
Speaker 1: deeper into Maya's life, a disturbing picture begun. It just
19:19
Speaker 1: began to emerge. Larry Millet, Maya's husband, had a complex
19:24
Speaker 1: and some say controlling nature. It came to light that
19:28
Speaker 1: Maya had been planning to file for divorce right before
19:31
Speaker 1: her disappearance. Friends and family shared that Maya had confided
19:37
Speaker 1: in them her and happiness in the marriage. There are
19:41
Speaker 1: also reports that Larry had been acting erradically. According to
19:46
Speaker 1: court documents, Larry had allegedly been seeking help from spellcasters,
19:52
Speaker 1: trying to use supernatural means to keep Maya from leaving him.
19:58
Speaker 1: The spell casters were reportedly he asked to make Maya's
20:02
Speaker 1: stay in love with Larry, but later the requests allegedly
20:07
Speaker 1: became more disturbing, with Larry asking for spells that would
20:12
Speaker 1: incapacitate her from leaving him. Guys, that freaks me the
20:19
Speaker 1: f out. I mean, I've got Cajun family members and
20:26
Speaker 1: relatives New Orleans, the whole voodoo thing and voodoo dolls.
20:30
Speaker 1: But guys, this freaks me out. The fact that he
20:34
Speaker 1: is doing that tells me something's not right. Okay. As
20:40
Speaker 1: the investigation into Maya's disappearance progressed, suspicion began to focus
20:45
Speaker 1: more and more on Larry Millet duh Ding ding Ding.
20:49
Speaker 1: He was the last one to see her. Despite his
20:53
Speaker 1: conflicting statements about Maya's whereabouts, Larry maintained that he had
20:59
Speaker 1: nothing to do with her disappearance, but with no solid
21:03
Speaker 1: alibi in growing evidence pointing to foul play, authorities took action.
21:09
Speaker 1: Thank you, authorities, because, as we know, they don't always.
21:15
Speaker 1: In Bianca's case out of San Antonio, which we covered
21:18
Speaker 1: and then had her sister on police, and everybody pretty
21:22
Speaker 1: much know her husband did it, but they're like nobody,
21:26
Speaker 1: no crime, right. But in October twenty twenty one, ten
21:32
Speaker 1: months after Maya was last seen, Larry Millett was arrested
21:36
Speaker 1: and charged with first jury murder. The Chula Vista Police Department,
21:41
Speaker 1: working closely with the FBI and the San Diego District
21:45
Speaker 1: Attorney's Office, made the decision to charge Larry even though
21:50
Speaker 1: Maya's body has not been found. Guys, I want to
21:54
Speaker 1: stop and say right there, thank you San Diego Attorney's
21:59
Speaker 1: Office and for the Chula Vista Police Department. Thank you
22:03
Speaker 1: for standing up for a woman who went missing, who
22:08
Speaker 1: was planning on leaving her husband. Okay, I appreciate you
22:12
Speaker 1: not waiting for a body to be found, because unfortunately,
22:17
Speaker 1: in Texas, that shit doesn't happen. Okay, excuse my language,
22:21
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen. So I applaud them. Now. The case
22:26
Speaker 1: against Larry rests heavily uncircumstantial evidence. Investigators believe that Maya's
22:32
Speaker 1: desire to leave the marriage may have pushed Larry over
22:36
Speaker 1: the edge. Yeah, guys, he was trying to get spellcasters
22:40
Speaker 1: to make her fall in love. Guys, I'm here to
22:42
Speaker 1: tell you there is no love potions. You cannot cast
22:45
Speaker 1: a spell on someone to fall in love. That only
22:48
Speaker 1: happens in movies. Okay, and life is not a Disney
22:52
Speaker 1: fairy tale, okay. Court documents allege that Larry's controlling behavior,
22:58
Speaker 1: the spell casting attempts, and the strain of the impending
23:02
Speaker 1: divorce all contributed to what they believe happened on that
23:06
Speaker 1: fateful night in January, Larry Millett remains behind bars awaiting
23:12
Speaker 1: trial for the murder of his wife, Maya. The trial
23:16
Speaker 1: is scheduled for January sixth, twenty twenty five, and is
23:20
Speaker 1: expected to be one of the most watched in San
23:23
Speaker 1: Diego County as Maya's family, friends, and the public anxiously
23:28
Speaker 1: await the outcome. Guys, I am going to say, I
23:33
Speaker 1: am going to reach out to JT. I know we
23:37
Speaker 1: don't cover live trials anymore on Night Court, but I
23:41
Speaker 1: may need to make a special circumstance or do something
23:46
Speaker 1: different if this trial is streamed, I might have to
23:50
Speaker 1: take off work and stream this live during the day
23:53
Speaker 1: because I am so proud of San Diego County for
23:59
Speaker 1: prosecuting this man that I would love to watch the
24:03
Speaker 1: case because then when he's found guilty, if he's found guilty,
24:08
Speaker 1: we can share that with all of these counties in
24:12
Speaker 1: Texas that don't do that now. Maya's family, especially her sister,
24:18
Speaker 1: has been relentless in the pursuit of justice. They've held vigils,
24:24
Speaker 1: organized search parties, and have remained a constant voice in
24:28
Speaker 1: the media. Keeping Maya's story alive and their unwavering determination
24:34
Speaker 1: has brought attention to Maya's case, turning it into a
24:38
Speaker 1: national story and putting pressure on the authorities to act.
24:44
Speaker 1: In interviews, she has shared her heartbreak and the hope
24:48
Speaker 1: that one day they will find Maya and bring her home.
24:52
Speaker 1: She has called her sister's disappearance a nightmare has had
24:57
Speaker 1: and has expressed frustration that the search for Maya continues
25:02
Speaker 1: without closure. Guys, I listen to a podcast from I
25:09
Speaker 1: Believe it was Case File on my way back from Finland,
25:14
Speaker 1: and I believe it was Australia. They have a law,
25:19
Speaker 1: no no body, no parole, and that intrigued me, even
25:25
Speaker 1: in my delirious time of being awake for thirty six hours,
25:29
Speaker 1: I thought, why don't more places do that? Why don't
25:34
Speaker 1: they You get no chance at parole if you don't
25:38
Speaker 1: tell us where the body is. I mean, just because
25:40
Speaker 1: they get a chance doesn't mean it's granted. So I
25:44
Speaker 1: think that's something that we should look into. Maya's case
25:50
Speaker 1: highlights the devastating toll that domestic conflict can have, not
25:55
Speaker 1: just on the individuals involved, but on the entire family.
25:59
Speaker 1: It all so raises awareness about the challenges faced by
26:03
Speaker 1: authorities in solving cases where nobody is found, but where
26:07
Speaker 1: the circle circumstantial evidence is compelling. Guys. In circumstantial cases,
26:16
Speaker 1: when you have all of these pieces and it puts
26:20
Speaker 1: together a puzzle that gives you a clear picture. If
26:24
Speaker 1: I was on that jury, I could find someone guilty.
26:28
Speaker 1: I don't believe you have to have DNA, okay. I
26:33
Speaker 1: don't believe you have to have somebody that saw it. Okay.
26:37
Speaker 1: If there's enough circumstantial evidence and this person keeps changing
26:42
Speaker 1: their story, come on, guys. So, if you have any
26:48
Speaker 1: information regarding Maya's disappearance, your urge to contact the Chula
26:54
Speaker 1: Vista Police Department at six y one nine six' nine
26:58
Speaker 1: one five one five to. One every piece of information,
27:03
Speaker 1: helps no matter how. Small, also The Courtyard discord will
27:09
Speaker 1: be following this case and you can find information there
27:14
Speaker 1: as it becomes. AVAILABLE i also want to tell you
27:19
Speaker 1: just because he is in jail and he's going to
27:23
Speaker 1: face trial doesn't mean the family doesn't need her. Return
27:30
Speaker 1: even if it's her. Remains they would like to have
27:34
Speaker 1: her so they can bury her and say their proper.
27:37
Speaker 1: Goodbyes so if you know, something please say. Something just
27:45
Speaker 1: don't think that because, oh he's going to, trial they're
27:48
Speaker 1: going to find him, guilty they get their. Answers, no
27:51
Speaker 1: they still do not know where she is and they
27:54
Speaker 1: want to bring her. Home so please call the tool
27:59
Speaker 1: of his the police. Department and remember you can send
28:04
Speaker 1: an anonymous tip to THE fbi even if they are
28:08
Speaker 1: not handling the, case so you can always go TO
28:11
Speaker 1: fbi dot gov slash. Tips. Now, today instead of a
28:18
Speaker 1: cute little, STORY i wanted to share some tips for
28:21
Speaker 1: individuals who find themselves in domestic violent. Situations we have
28:28
Speaker 1: already in the short time that we've been covering missing
28:32
Speaker 1: person cases here On Midday missing several of the cases
28:37
Speaker 1: have had to do with. Individuals most of the time
28:42
Speaker 1: women going, missing who are trying to leave a domestic violence,
28:46
Speaker 1: situation or they're in a domestic violence. Situation SO i
28:51
Speaker 1: wanted to share some tips as a domestic violent. SURVIVOR
28:57
Speaker 1: i will tell you it's, hard, guys it's, hard and
29:02
Speaker 1: so many people. JUDGE i want to tell you if
29:05
Speaker 1: you're one of those, people. Stop you don't know what it's.
29:09
Speaker 1: Like you don't know what it's like to have your
29:12
Speaker 1: self esteem knockdown so far that you think it's your.
29:17
Speaker 1: Fault you are truly brainwashed and just beaten down to
29:22
Speaker 1: where you're, like what's wrong with? Me why does this
29:26
Speaker 1: person do? THIS i can even tell you WHEN i
29:30
Speaker 1: went to the priest BECAUSE i had been married in
29:32
Speaker 1: The catholic, church AND i, said what DO i do
29:36
Speaker 1: about my husband cheating on me and verbally abusing me
29:41
Speaker 1: and physically abusing? Me and the priest looked at me
29:44
Speaker 1: and he, goes, well what could you do to not
29:48
Speaker 1: make him do? That, yes, guys that is what this
29:52
Speaker 1: priest said to. Me and that was. Wrong that priest
30:00
Speaker 1: should not have said that to. Me, yes marriage is a.
30:03
Speaker 1: Value make, YES i made that vowel in A catholic.
30:07
Speaker 1: Church but you know what so did. He and nowhere
30:11
Speaker 1: in those vows did it SAY i was a doormat
30:14
Speaker 1: or a punching. Back, okay And i've also come to
30:18
Speaker 1: the decision that not all priests are that. Way but
30:22
Speaker 1: priests are not, married they've never been. Married they are
30:26
Speaker 1: the last person that should be giving any kind of marriage.
30:30
Speaker 1: Advice in my. Opinion it is also what pushed me
30:33
Speaker 1: away from The Catholic, church AND i will never forgive that.
30:38
Speaker 1: Priest you, KNOW i did finally get out of that
30:41
Speaker 1: marriage AND i met DOUBLE, h AND i swore i'd
30:45
Speaker 1: never get married again after, that But i'm here to
30:47
Speaker 1: tell YOU i met DOUBLE, h and after going through
30:51
Speaker 1: therapy and a lot of work to get past, THAT
30:55
Speaker 1: i found a man that loves me for WHO i.
30:58
Speaker 1: Am BECAUSE i am not, PERFECT doubleh has to put
31:02
Speaker 1: up with. Me, Okay, guys if you have followed me
31:05
Speaker 1: for a while or the, podcast you Know i'm a
31:07
Speaker 1: lot of. Work i'm a little bit high, maintenance BUT
31:10
Speaker 1: i have a huge, heart AND i want to tell
31:13
Speaker 1: YOU i had people also say to, me, well why
31:16
Speaker 1: don't you leave? Sooner why don't you leave the first
31:18
Speaker 1: time you did? It, okay, seriously don't say that. Shit,
31:23
Speaker 1: okay don't say that shit that's wrong until you've lived.
31:27
Speaker 1: It don't give an. Opinion sit, there be a supportive,
31:31
Speaker 1: friend and just tell them you're there for them when
31:36
Speaker 1: and if they are ready to. Leave. Okay, so escaping
31:42
Speaker 1: a domestic violence situation is incredibly, challenging and, guys it's extremely,
31:47
Speaker 1: dangerous but it's a critical step towards safety and. FREEDOM
31:52
Speaker 1: i am so fortunate that WHEN i picked up the
31:57
Speaker 1: phone and tried to my ex sister in, law BUT
32:01
Speaker 1: i still say she's my sister by, choice AND i
32:04
Speaker 1: told her what had just, happened she called the police
32:08
Speaker 1: and they. Came my husband never came. Back that was
32:13
Speaker 1: it for. ME i sent my children to their dad's
32:16
Speaker 1: house AND i got on a plane AND i flew To,
32:19
Speaker 1: houston where my best Friend cheryl met me at the
32:22
Speaker 1: airport with a bouquet of flowers AND i went to
32:27
Speaker 1: her house where for a WEEK i cried on her
32:31
Speaker 1: couch and asked what was wrong with? Me why did
32:36
Speaker 1: he do this to? Me what was so damaged in
32:39
Speaker 1: me that made a man think he could do that to?
32:42
Speaker 1: Me and she, said you need to talk to. Somebody
32:46
Speaker 1: it's not. You, Okay, no man has a right to
32:49
Speaker 1: do that to, you and not everybody has, that AND
32:54
Speaker 1: i want to tell you it is dangerous that it
32:57
Speaker 1: can be. Done, Okay so here are some steps for
33:02
Speaker 1: to help those in abusive. Relationship AND i want my first.
33:06
Speaker 1: THING i want to tell you do not. Judge do
33:09
Speaker 1: not judge, them, okay do Not and first recognize the
33:15
Speaker 1: signs of. Abuse understand that abuse can be, physical, emotional, psychological,
33:21
Speaker 1: financial or. Sexual, okay and acknowledge the patterns of, control
33:27
Speaker 1: manipulation and. Violence, guys if you are married and your
33:32
Speaker 1: husband controls all of the money and only gives you
33:35
Speaker 1: like one hundred dollars cash to get your kids, groceries
33:39
Speaker 1: launch and leaves it where there's nothing, left that is financial.
33:45
Speaker 1: Manipulation that is. Abuse there's a difference between being on
33:49
Speaker 1: a budget because you don't have money and someone controlling.
33:52
Speaker 1: IT i also want to say abuse is not done
33:56
Speaker 1: just by. Men. Okay women can be the abuser, Too
34:02
Speaker 1: SO i want to, say if you're a man that
34:07
Speaker 1: is being, abused don't feel like you're. Alone it. Happens
34:13
Speaker 1: i've known some women who were very, Abusive so reach
34:21
Speaker 1: out for, Support, okay find a trusted friend or family.
34:26
Speaker 1: Member tell them about your, situation because, guys it helps
34:31
Speaker 1: to have someone aware of your. Circumstances even if you're
34:35
Speaker 1: not ready to, leave someone needs to. Know. Okay also
34:41
Speaker 1: connect with local domestic violence, organizations shelters or. Hotlines all
34:46
Speaker 1: of those resources offer confidential, support information and. Planning, okay
34:53
Speaker 1: they will help. You they will not tell. Anyone. Okay
34:58
Speaker 1: also develop a safety. Plan, please you need to have
35:03
Speaker 1: an emergency escape. Plan you need to identify a safe
35:08
Speaker 1: place to go if you need to leave. Quickly. Okay
35:12
Speaker 1: memorize phone. Numbers. Guys we all are so reliant on
35:16
Speaker 1: technology and we just press a button on our cell. Phone,
35:21
Speaker 1: guys you're going to want to leave that cell phone
35:24
Speaker 1: behind because they possibly have tracking information on. It so
35:30
Speaker 1: get a burner. Phone put the phone numbers in. There
35:33
Speaker 1: BUT i say memorize phone. Numbers, okay you want to memorize.
35:38
Speaker 1: Them of your trusted. Individuals you want to pack an emergency,
35:42
Speaker 1: bag including essentials like identification, keys, cash, medications and important.
35:50
Speaker 1: Documents keep it. Hidden if you don't have somewhere in
35:54
Speaker 1: your home that you think you can keep it, hidden
35:57
Speaker 1: give it to a trusted, person or there are places
36:01
Speaker 1: that you can rent a storage locker at, airports train. Stations,
36:05
Speaker 1: okay do what you need. To you also need to
36:09
Speaker 1: create a code word or phrase with family or friends
36:13
Speaker 1: that signals you need to help without alerting your. Abuser, so,
36:18
Speaker 1: guys that means come up with the word where you
36:21
Speaker 1: can call your best friend in case that person hears.
36:24
Speaker 1: You you can say that word, like, hey why don't
36:28
Speaker 1: we go get some raspberry mimosas This? Saturday, okay who
36:33
Speaker 1: drinks raspberry? Mimosas maybe some people. Do but come up
36:36
Speaker 1: with a code. Word, okay document the, abuse, guys this
36:43
Speaker 1: is Critical unfortunately law. Enforcement there are women who cry
36:50
Speaker 1: wolf mad because their man's leave an them or cheating on,
36:53
Speaker 1: them so they cry and say there's. Abuse so you
36:57
Speaker 1: want to keep records of all incidents of. Abuse you
37:01
Speaker 1: want to keep, dates, times descriptions of what, happened save, messages,
37:07
Speaker 1: photos any other evidence that might be necessary for legal. Action,
37:13
Speaker 1: okay do what you need. To don't keep it at
37:17
Speaker 1: your house unless you know you have a place you
37:20
Speaker 1: can hide. It give it to a. Friend get a
37:22
Speaker 1: safety deposit, box keep that. Information. Okay you want to
37:27
Speaker 1: safeguard your, communications so get a secure phone that your
37:32
Speaker 1: abuser doesn't have access. To, okay get a burner phone
37:37
Speaker 1: if you can afford. It if you, Can't, guys keep
37:41
Speaker 1: your old cell, phones keep it. Charged you can still
37:44
Speaker 1: down on nine to one one if you don't have
37:46
Speaker 1: service on. It, also on your, computer delete your browsing.
37:52
Speaker 1: History use incognito mode if you research help. Online because
37:59
Speaker 1: they probably have tracking stuff on your. Computer you want
38:03
Speaker 1: to run checks on your computer and your. Phone there
38:07
Speaker 1: are free ones out there to see if they're tracking.
38:10
Speaker 1: You change your passwords regularly on all your social, media,
38:16
Speaker 1: okay limit what you share and consider blocking or uneffriending your. Abuser,
38:22
Speaker 1: guys you can still be friends with them on social.
38:26
Speaker 1: Media that make it where they can't see your. Post
38:29
Speaker 1: if you need to do that up while you're planning
38:32
Speaker 1: to leave, them do what you need to. Guys this
38:37
Speaker 1: is a critical one right. Here open a separate bank
38:42
Speaker 1: account and secure your financial. Documents. Okay also consider sashing
38:47
Speaker 1: small amounts of money of, cash whether In, Venmo apple pay,
38:52
Speaker 1: whatever if. POSSIBLE i told my boys always try to
38:57
Speaker 1: have six months serves if you, can even if you're
39:02
Speaker 1: not in an abusive, situation if your partner just walks
39:06
Speaker 1: out on, you and takes all the, money you, know
39:09
Speaker 1: and it might take you years to get that six
39:11
Speaker 1: month saved. Up it's. Hard try to do, it. Okay
39:15
Speaker 1: also know your legal. Options. Okay consider obtaining a restraining
39:21
Speaker 1: order or order of. Protection. Guys legal aid services can
39:25
Speaker 1: provide guidance on how to do this. SAFELY a lot
39:29
Speaker 1: of domestic violence resources will help you with that as.
39:33
Speaker 1: Well also seek advice on your rights regarding custody of
39:37
Speaker 1: children and. Property SO i have heard so many times people,
39:42
Speaker 1: say if you're the, wife don't leave the, house then
39:45
Speaker 1: you can't keep the. House, Guys your safety in your children's,
39:49
Speaker 1: safety if you have, children are more important than a.
39:52
Speaker 1: Property the courts will take care of getting you what's rightfully. Yours,
39:57
Speaker 1: okay and remember legal advocate it's can help you navigate
40:01
Speaker 1: this process at no. Charge. Okay plan your escape strategically.
40:08
Speaker 1: Okay leave when your abuser is not, around and avoid
40:12
Speaker 1: sharing your plan with too many people to reduce the
40:16
Speaker 1: risk of being found out if you. Can don't get
40:20
Speaker 1: into an argument with him and try to leave and
40:23
Speaker 1: Say i'm leaving you right. Now that's going to push
40:26
Speaker 1: him over the edge and it's. Hard trust, me know
40:31
Speaker 1: how you will get, away whether it's with your own,
40:34
Speaker 1: vehicle public, transport or. Friends. Help try to keep your
40:38
Speaker 1: vehicle fueled and park it facing the street if. Possible
40:43
Speaker 1: don't have to back. Out if you have to back,
40:45
Speaker 1: out they can try to block. You they try. TO i, mean,
40:49
Speaker 1: guys they try to stop. You i'm gonna say. This
40:52
Speaker 1: i'm not a legal. Attorney they're gonna move if you
40:55
Speaker 1: try to hit. Them, okay they're gonna. Move seek am.
41:00
Speaker 1: Support engage with a therapist who specializes in trauma and domestic. Violence,
41:06
Speaker 1: guys you can get help before you, leave because healing
41:11
Speaker 1: from abuse requires emotional and psychological. Support sometimes you need
41:19
Speaker 1: therapy and to talk to someone to help you get
41:22
Speaker 1: the strength you need to be able to. Leave join
41:26
Speaker 1: support groups where you can share experiences and receive encouragement from. Others,
41:33
Speaker 1: guys that's. Important other people who've gone through it will
41:38
Speaker 1: be able to. Understand other people will try to empathize with.
41:43
Speaker 1: You BUT i can tell you if you if you haven't,
41:46
Speaker 1: lifted you don't know what it's. Like you, don't but number,
41:51
Speaker 1: one prioritize your. Safety please above all. Property you can
41:59
Speaker 1: always get. More, okay you can't get another life and
42:04
Speaker 1: neither can your. Children if you feel an immediate, danger
42:08
Speaker 1: please call emergency services because, guys leaving an abusive relationship
42:15
Speaker 1: is risky and your safety should always be your first.
42:18
Speaker 1: Priority so remember you're not. Alone And, GUYS i am
42:26
Speaker 1: telling you the abuse is not your. Fault, okay it's.
42:31
Speaker 1: NOT i don't give a shit what the abuser. Says
42:34
Speaker 1: it is not your. Fault no one has the right
42:37
Speaker 1: to abuse, you and no one is asking for. Abuse
42:41
Speaker 1: and if they're telling me, you've you, know asked for,
42:45
Speaker 1: it keep your mouse. Shut but just tell yourself in
42:48
Speaker 1: your head they're full of. Shit, okay help is, available.
42:52
Speaker 1: Guys there is hope for a, safer healthier. Future. OKAY
42:57
Speaker 1: i can tell you it is possible to hear from
43:00
Speaker 1: that and find a relationship that is. Healthy take each
43:06
Speaker 1: step at your own. Pace don't let anyone push you
43:09
Speaker 1: before you're. Ready, okay it is your. Decision when you're
43:12
Speaker 1: ready to, leave don't let someone else tell, you and
43:16
Speaker 1: reach out to those who can support you along the.
43:19
Speaker 1: Way you're going to need that. Support. Okay it's, hard,
43:26
Speaker 1: guys it's not, easy and even after you. Leave in my,
43:30
Speaker 1: CASE i was, like, okay MAYBE i should go. Back
43:34
Speaker 1: maybe he's, changed you know, things or you, know you
43:38
Speaker 1: go through all of. That. OKAY i was, like, Great
43:40
Speaker 1: i've been married. Twice i'm a two time. Failure it
43:43
Speaker 1: must be, me, guys it's not, You. Okay what is
43:47
Speaker 1: you is making the decision to break that cycle and protect. Yourself,
43:53
Speaker 1: Okay so remember to reach out to just reach. Out.
43:58
Speaker 1: OKAY i want to thank you all for joining me
44:02
Speaker 1: today AND i look forward to seeing you all again
44:06
Speaker 1: On monday for our next episode Of Midday. Missing On,
44:09
Speaker 1: monday we will have a. Guest we will have a
44:14
Speaker 1: sister of a missing loved one as well as an
44:17
Speaker 1: advocate for the, Missing so you're definitely gonna want to
44:22
Speaker 1: watch On monday as we hear more about that. Case,
44:28
Speaker 1: also don't forget you can join Our facebook group and
44:32
Speaker 1: follow us on all of our social media, channels and
44:35
Speaker 1: you can catch all of our productions on our YouTube.
44:38
Speaker 1: Channel some of it is On, facebook some of it
44:42
Speaker 1: is just on, YouTube and you can get our podcast
44:46
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your. Podcast SO i hope you
44:50
Speaker 1: all have an amazing weekend and remember please always stay,
44:56
Speaker 1: safe take care of, yourself watch out for crime because
45:00
Speaker 1: it can happen to anyone and enjoy your wine. Time hi,
45:05
Speaker 1: Guys see you On monday in THAT sa