Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / When Identity Starts Rebuilding TUESDAY (S5) S19:E4

Transcript

When Identity Starts Rebuilding TUESDAY (S5) S19:E4 · Inspirations for Your Life

0:25
Well, hey guys, it is John C.
0:26
Morley here, serial entrepreneur.
0:28
It's great to be with you on the
0:30
Inspirations for Your Life show.
0:33
Today, ladies and gentlemen, if you did not
0:35
know, it's May 5th and it's Tuesday, 2026,
0:38
and happy Cinco de Mayo Day.
0:40
For those of you that celebrate, I know
0:41
today I went to a bar that had
0:47
Cinco de Mayo items on their menu.
0:50
I had a taco.
0:52
I actually had two tacos for lunch and
0:53
one I took home.
0:54
I got the chicken taco, the beef taco,
0:57
and then the rib taco, and they were
0:59
all pretty good.
1:00
And they had like a salad on it.
1:02
So I had two for lunch, brought one
1:03
home, and then I had a little brownie
1:04
with two ice cream scoops.
1:06
So that was really good.
1:08
Ladies and gentlemen, if this is your very
1:09
first time joining me here, I want to
1:11
say thank you, and of course, welcome.
1:13
If you've been here one time or many
1:15
times in the past, I want to say
1:17
thank you, but of course, I want to
1:18
say welcome back.
1:20
Now ladies and gentlemen, if you're thirsty, you're
1:22
hungry, you're parched, feel free to go get
1:24
yourself something.
1:24
I have my delicious RO water with lemon,
1:28
and yeah, get whatever you'd like, and come
1:31
on back to the show.
1:33
All right, guys, don't forget to check out
1:35
BelieveMeAchieved.com for, of course, more of my
1:38
amazing, inspiring creations, which you can do right
1:41
after the show is over.
1:43
But now let's kick this show off, all
1:45
right, everyone?
1:46
Okay.
1:47
So this is Inspirations for Your Life.
1:49
This is series five, show 19, episode four,
1:54
and it's all about how people rebuild direction
1:57
when everything gets disrupted.
1:58
That's our master topic for the entire week.
2:00
Our master topics go from Saturday, and they
2:02
end on Friday.
2:03
This episode of Inspirations for Your Life with
2:05
myself, John C.
2:07
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer,
2:14
podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate student, passionate
2:18
lifelong learner, and now ladies and gentlemen, a
2:21
published author.
2:22
Very grateful for that.
2:23
And I'm exploring how people rebuild identity after
2:27
disruption forces a reset in it and the
2:30
direction because the habits and the thinking changed.
2:34
This week focuses on one of the most
2:37
important phases of transformation.
2:39
Each day we're uncovering more.
2:40
Not motivation, not momentum, but your identity reconstruction.
2:46
Because when everything around you changes, the first
2:50
thing that must change is how you see
2:52
yourself.
2:53
You see, ladies and gentlemen, how you see
2:54
yourself is a big factor to whether you're
2:59
going to be successful or not.
3:00
I mean, that's the truth, guys.
3:01
You see yourself a certain way, other people
3:03
see yourself that way.
3:05
When disruption happens, guys, most people focus on
3:09
the external recovery first.
3:10
It seems logical, but we have to work
3:12
on what's inside us, okay?
3:14
And fix those systems before the outside systems
3:17
can work perfectly.
3:18
Fix the routines, fix the structure.
3:21
But the deeper layer is the internal piece
3:24
inside us, identity.
3:27
Because identity drives behavior and behavior drives outcomes.
3:33
So if identity is unstable, everything else remains
3:36
unstable too.
3:38
At first, ladies and gentlemen, identity does not
3:40
change loudly.
3:41
It shifts or pivots quietly through awareness.
3:46
Now through repetition, through reflection, through experience, and
3:52
through small behavioral adjustments that slowly accumulate into
3:56
something new.
3:58
That's important, guys.
4:00
Identity begins shifting.
4:02
That is number one.
4:03
I think when we realize that our identity
4:05
is shifting, we're first like, oh my gosh,
4:08
it's like the sky's falling.
4:10
Like, what are we supposed to do?
4:11
And it's not a time to panic.
4:13
It's a time to analyze what's going right
4:18
and maybe what's not going right.
4:20
I think that's a very important thing to
4:23
think about.
4:25
A lot of people, they panic when they're
4:28
in this stage.
4:29
And they shouldn't panic, guys.
4:32
If you went down the same path over
4:34
and over and over again, well, that would
4:37
be a problem, guys.
4:38
That would absolutely be a problem.
4:39
So you're recognizing that something's not working right
4:42
and you want to change that.
4:46
You want to change that.
4:48
And so you can change that if you
4:51
truly believe that you can.
4:53
I think that's a very important thing to
4:57
realize.
5:00
And so when we think about the way
5:04
things are, I think that's important to note.
5:09
And when I say note, I mean we
5:13
need to express what it is that we
5:18
want to change.
5:19
So if we make something verbal, then life
5:22
can change for us.
5:23
But life doesn't just change because we want
5:26
to change it.
5:27
We've got to be, ladies and gentlemen, intentional.
5:29
I've been using that word a lot this
5:30
week, and there's a reason for it.
5:32
When we're intentional, our life becomes different.
5:36
Our life acts on purpose.
5:40
Our life acts on purpose.
5:44
And when our life acts on purpose, I
5:47
feel that there's a lot that's going to
5:50
happen for us, a lot of good things
5:51
that are going to happen to us, okay?
5:52
Number two, guys, old habits will weaken us.
5:56
Now, there's some habits that are good, and
5:58
there's some habits that are extremely bad.
6:01
So an old habit that's taking you down
6:03
the wrong path is definitely the wrong thing
6:06
to do, okay?
6:07
It's the wrong thing to do because when
6:10
you go down that wrong path, it's like
6:12
I keep looping.
6:13
I keep doing that same thing over and
6:15
over again.
6:16
I think that's hard for a lot of
6:18
people to, you know, to understand that they're
6:21
going down the wrong path.
6:23
Not because, I just say not because, you
6:26
know, they want to go down that path.
6:36
But I was having some, I was actually
6:39
having some almonds, and I think the almond,
6:42
and I had some water.
6:44
I just got a little dry there for
6:44
a second.
6:46
I had some ice cream, and then I
6:48
had some homemade, like, almond.
6:51
They're like a, they're like with paste.
6:57
One of our friends made them for us,
6:59
and they're, and they have like these, the
7:02
nuts, and they're very good.
7:04
And they have the almond paste in them.
7:06
They're really, really good cookies.
7:10
So number three, new habits will form.
7:16
If a new habit doesn't form today, don't
7:18
panic, guys.
7:20
It will form tomorrow.
7:21
It will form the next day.
7:22
And when it forms, it gives you a
7:24
sense of, you know, where you're going.
7:27
I think that's, I think that's got to
7:30
be one of the most important things that
7:33
I can share with you.
7:35
Okay.
7:37
It changes where we are.
7:42
And when I say it changes where we
7:44
are, it changes our dynamic.
7:46
It changes our direction.
7:48
All right.
7:51
I think sometimes people, they get themselves all
7:55
stressed out.
7:57
And the reason they do this is because
7:58
they're worrying.
8:00
Okay.
8:01
They're, they're worrying about things.
8:04
And that worry, I think, is a very
8:06
bad problem.
8:10
You know, they worry.
8:11
And the situation, guys, guess what happens?
8:13
It gets worse.
8:15
It gets worse.
8:17
Because what we put our attention on, okay,
8:21
that's where the energy's going to go.
8:26
Because we're focusing on it.
8:30
Number four, guys, number four is this.
8:33
Self-preparation is important.
8:36
But self-perception will truly change us.
8:43
I said our perceptions create our reality.
8:46
Our world is all about perceptions.
8:50
Okay.
8:50
It's all about perceptions.
8:53
And that's a very important thing to understand,
8:59
that it's about perceptions.
9:03
And the perceptions we have are, how can
9:08
I say, not exactly what we would expect.
9:17
Because let's face it, guys, we're hard on
9:19
ourselves.
9:21
We're extremely difficult.
9:22
So we've got to learn to be kind
9:24
to ourselves.
9:25
I think that's one of the hardest things.
9:27
I had this challenge too.
9:29
Sometimes, you know, you keep pushing yourself, you
9:30
keep pushing yourself, but you've got to treat
9:31
yourself kindly.
9:32
You've got to give yourself a break.
9:34
We deserve a break, guys.
9:35
We deserve a break.
9:36
Okay.
9:37
Number five, behavior becomes intentional.
9:41
So when the behavior becomes intentional, then we
9:45
become in alignment with what we want and
9:48
what we are doing.
9:52
Alignment and intentionality don't happen overnight, guys.
9:58
They do not happen overnight.
10:01
But I can tell you this.
10:04
I can tell you that they happen in
10:07
time when we are consistent, when we have
10:09
a structure.
10:10
I've said before that if we have a
10:12
structure and we're not consistent, you can't have
10:15
one without the other.
10:16
They have to coexist together for us to
10:18
be successful, for us to notice positive improvements.
10:22
Number six, guys, confidence rebuilds.
10:28
When we're confident, the world changes.
10:32
The world unfolds to something pretty amazing.
10:36
And so, thanks so much for the like,
10:41
Joe.
10:41
Appreciate that.
10:42
By the way, you asked about book signing.
10:45
So our first book signing is coming up
10:47
on May 26th.
10:48
It's on jcmacademy.com.
10:51
It's going to be May 26th, 7 p
10:53
.m. at the Franklin Lakes Public Library on
10:55
the first floor in the Ranieri Room.
10:58
But all that's available at jcmacademy.com.
11:02
So you can check that out there.
11:04
And it is the first one.
11:06
There's going to be more.
11:07
I think the next one we've got coming
11:08
up is in either Oakland or Wyckoff.
11:11
And then we have another one coming up
11:12
in Wayne in September.
11:13
So we're just starting to fill the calendar.
11:15
But they're all going to be on jcmacademy
11:17
.com.
11:17
And you'll see them under featured events.
11:19
So definitely take a look at that.
11:21
But thanks so much for the like tonight.
11:25
Actions.
11:26
Our actions define our direction.
11:29
When our actions become an alignment to our
11:32
identity, our success becomes natural.
11:38
You know, it's like trying to force, you
11:41
know, you've heard the analogy, right?
11:44
A square through a round hole, right?
11:47
A square peg through a round hole.
11:49
Can't do it.
11:51
Put a round peg through the square, but
11:53
you can't put a square peg through a
11:54
round hole because the round hole is going
11:56
to be a little bit smaller, assuming it's
11:57
the same kind of, you know, size proportion.
12:01
When we understand where we're going and we
12:05
know that we're being intentional, life starts to
12:10
unfold and show us some very pleasant surprises.
12:13
Number eight, guys, consistency shapes identity.
12:19
Being consistent, consistent, structured.
12:23
And when we understand that consistency and we
12:27
understand that structure, we naturally parlay into success.
12:33
Consistency is not easy to stay on board
12:36
with.
12:36
I'll be honest.
12:36
Some people are like, well, you know, I
12:38
don't know if I can do this.
12:41
OK, I don't know if I really can
12:43
do this, but you can.
12:45
OK.
12:47
And so.
12:51
When you understand these things, life changes for
12:56
you.
12:59
Life changes for you.
13:01
Because things are magical.
13:05
OK.
13:07
Your body likes it when things flow.
13:11
And when we can do things with least
13:14
amount of resistance, things become easier for us,
13:18
right?
13:19
Number nine, experience reshapes the thinking we have.
13:23
So maybe we don't like what we're doing
13:26
right now.
13:26
No problem with that.
13:28
But when we start to realize that.
13:32
Then we know.
13:34
That we're actually thinking and we reshape our
13:38
thinking.
13:40
Our perceptions, they change.
13:43
The things people would say, I can't do
13:45
this, I'm not this, I'm not that.
13:46
They change.
13:47
That all just disappears.
13:49
When our identity changes, all that fades.
13:53
Remember, your thoughts become your reality.
13:58
They're not thinking at one time, but what
13:59
happens is people think at one time and
14:01
they don't realize how many times they've thought
14:02
about it, maybe thousands of times.
14:04
Once you thought about once, it like becomes
14:05
like an autopilot.
14:06
Like and now you just kind of just
14:08
drive that nail in in a bad way.
14:12
Number 10, guys, beliefs begin updating.
14:18
We understand our identity, positive or negative.
14:21
The beliefs start to update.
14:25
They start to update for us and then
14:29
we get a new output.
14:33
We get a new output.
14:35
And I think that output sometimes scares us
14:38
because like, oh my gosh, what am I
14:39
supposed to do now?
14:40
How am I going to do this, right?
14:44
What am I going to do?
14:48
How am I going to do this?
14:53
How am I going to do this?
14:54
And you could do this in a pretty
14:55
amazing way, okay?
14:59
Because your beliefs update.
15:01
When your beliefs update, your internal software changes.
15:07
And eventually when the software gets updated, it
15:09
actually updates our hardware.
15:11
In our case, it's actually our biology, which
15:15
is our organs and things like that.
15:18
And yes, we can change our biology of
15:22
our body when we act a certain way
15:25
consistently with a structure.
15:26
Number 11, guys, standards increase.
15:30
When the standards increase, the world says yes.
15:35
The world says there is no impossibility.
15:41
I think that's a very important thing to
15:44
realize and to understand.
15:47
The expectations rise.
15:49
And when they rise, number 12, people are
15:53
like, hey, I can do this.
15:55
This isn't so hard.
15:56
I did this all on my own.
15:57
Number 13, focus becomes stable.
16:01
When our focus becomes stable, we notice that
16:04
doing things becomes a lot easier than it
16:07
was in the past.
16:10
Now, that doesn't mean that we were less
16:15
smart in the past.
16:16
It means we got a new perception of
16:19
how something was being presented.
16:22
And when our perception changes, our reality changes.
16:26
Again, not overnight.
16:28
Number 14, guys, discipline defines our character.
16:32
We talk about identity.
16:33
We talk about core values.
16:35
And they all link into our character, who
16:39
we are as a person every day.
16:43
If I asked you right now, what's your
16:45
character?
16:46
You're going to be like, I don't know.
16:48
I don't work for any of the cartoon
16:50
companies.
16:51
That's not even by character.
16:54
Character defines how you show up in the
16:56
world, when people are present and when they're
17:00
not.
17:01
Because how you are alone is the truth,
17:07
is how you really are.
17:09
Which is when you're around people, you might
17:12
change that to have a little facade.
17:15
But you can't do it forever, because you're
17:16
going to slip.
17:17
You're going to fall into that trap that's
17:20
going to bring your truth out.
17:21
Number 15, guys, clarity strengthens the identity.
17:26
Clarity strengthens identity.
17:27
So we're clear about things.
17:29
Our life starts to change.
17:33
Our life starts to change.
17:37
And when our life starts to change, the
17:42
world becomes easier.
17:48
And when that happens, we now gain this
17:52
big dose of confidence.
17:54
All right?
17:56
A big dose of confidence.
17:59
And that confidence dose is pretty amazing.
18:11
And I think that's an important thing to
18:13
realize.
18:16
To realize.
18:18
Because that's the truth, guys.
18:22
Number 16, guys, repetition locks in the behavior.
18:27
It puts it in a groove, right?
18:28
If you put a car, let's say, on
18:31
a track.
18:32
Many of you might remember the Pine Derbies,
18:33
which I did when I was a scout.
18:36
I'm an Eagle Scout now, but when I
18:38
was Cub Scout, you put the car on
18:40
the track.
18:41
And once the car was on the track,
18:43
it pretty much stayed right in the groove.
18:45
Once we get on a track, we stay
18:49
there.
18:52
Can we deviate from a track?
18:53
Yes.
18:54
But if we stay consistent, keep repeating the
18:56
pattern, we're going to stay on the track.
18:59
We're going to stay toward our goals.
19:03
Number 17, guys, growth becomes visible.
19:07
When growth becomes visible, we start to understand
19:11
that life is different for us.
19:19
Life is different for us when that happens.
19:24
When that happens.
19:25
I didn't say it's going to happen all
19:26
the time.
19:28
But when it happens, that changes things quite
19:32
a bit, quite a bit.
19:36
And when I say quite a bit, I
19:38
mean a very, very big, big change is
19:43
present.
19:45
And that change can affect how we view
19:51
the world.
19:56
And that's a perception, ladies and gentlemen.
19:58
That is a perception.
20:04
Number 18, stability replaces confusion.
20:08
When we're stable, we're not confused.
20:11
We're not, you know, on which side should
20:14
I be?
20:15
Number 19, awareness strengthens the identity.
20:18
When we're aware, I think I told you
20:20
guys this story when I wrote my book.
20:22
And that's why I'll go.
20:23
Awareness of any subtle thing in life, when
20:26
we become aware of that subtle thing, lots
20:29
of things around us change and they shift.
20:32
Sometimes they happen in such a perspective.
20:35
So slowly, like, it doesn't seem like anything's
20:37
happening.
20:37
But really, big changes are evolving.
20:42
Number 20, guys, limitations will weaken us.
20:46
So we have to find ways to actually
20:49
not limit ourselves.
20:51
We have to look at new possibilities.
20:54
We have to look at things in different
20:55
packages.
20:56
Because maybe when we look at things in
20:58
certain packages, it means that we're expecting only
21:01
that way.
21:03
But if we know that things can come
21:05
in other packages, we know there can be
21:06
a big difference.
21:12
We know there can be a huge, huge
21:15
difference.
21:17
And that can be scary for some people.
21:20
Number 21, guys, new capabilities will emerge.
21:24
When we are on the path, and if
21:26
we don't have all the tools we need,
21:28
and we're on that path, A, we'll find
21:31
the tools.
21:32
B, someone will teach us.
21:34
Or C, we'll come into a way of
21:38
doing it.
21:41
That's what happens when you become in alignment
21:43
with something.
21:46
Number 22, guys, control increases.
21:52
When we're calm, we're confident, we're in control,
21:56
the world could be a mess around us.
21:58
But suddenly, we've changed because now we are
22:03
in control.
22:05
We are in control, and I think that's
22:07
an important thing.
22:15
That's important, guys.
22:20
That's a very important thing to note.
22:26
Okay?
22:27
Very, very important thing to know.
22:32
Number 24, guys, identity will align.
22:36
As long as it is in congruence with
22:43
our core values, with our truth.
22:47
If we're trying to do something to become
22:49
an alliant because somebody else is telling us,
22:52
that may or may not work because it
22:54
may not be who we are.
22:58
It may not be who we are.
22:59
Number 25, guys, execution becomes natural.
23:04
It becomes like a flow, like going down
23:09
a river, right?
23:10
Rivers flow downstream, right?
23:13
Rivers don't flow up, they flow downstream.
23:17
I think that's a very important thing to
23:19
note, flow downstream.
23:25
Number 26, guys, habits define the outcomes.
23:30
We're consistent, we're structured, okay?
23:36
We're going to have great outcomes because of
23:40
our habits.
23:43
Our consistent habits, not something we just did
23:45
because of today.
23:46
We're doing it every day.
23:49
I think some people get frustrated because they've
23:51
done these things, but then guess what happens?
23:53
They don't actually go anywhere.
23:55
Because like, oh, you know what, I've been
23:57
doing this for a few weeks, I'm going
23:58
to stop.
24:00
And ladies and gentlemen, the difference between somebody
24:03
successful and not successful is this.
24:07
A successful person just hangs on a second
24:11
or two longer.
24:12
That's it.
24:16
And then they get the rewards, and guess
24:19
what happens?
24:20
That motivates them to keep going.
24:24
But some people say, you know what, I'm
24:25
tired, I don't want to do this.
24:29
Number 27, guys, momentum supports the identity.
24:31
When that epiphany happens, and we get that
24:37
natural influx from the dopamine of our brain,
24:39
it's like, wow, right?
24:42
Wow.
24:43
Number 28, guys, thinking becomes structured.
24:48
And the structure of our brain doesn't happen
24:51
because we're forcing it.
24:53
It happens naturally.
24:55
I think a lot of people that are
24:58
trying to be successful are like, you know,
25:00
I'm trying so hard, but it's not working.
25:03
You've got to just let things flow, and
25:07
they will go in the direction you want.
25:10
The more resistance you put on something, the
25:13
harder it's going to be to get there.
25:14
I've talked about friction before and resistance.
25:17
We need friction to be able to walk,
25:19
to be able to move things.
25:20
If there's too much friction, right, the car
25:23
won't go.
25:23
We won't be able to walk.
25:24
There's not enough flexibility for us to go
25:28
through there.
25:29
If the bridge is not flexible, when the
25:32
wind blows, snap, it breaks.
25:35
There's a balance, a delicate balance.
25:38
Number 29, guys, confidence stabilizes.
25:46
When confidence stabilizes, we get another, I'm going
25:54
to say, push that can make things amazing
26:00
for us.
26:02
We get a push, a very, very big.
26:08
That's important, guys.
26:12
Number 30, guys, identity rebuilds and it completes.
26:17
And if it needs to recycle again, it
26:20
can.
26:21
As these 30 stages unfold in your life
26:25
over and over again for different projects, something
26:29
important happens internally.
26:31
People stop reacting to who they were.
26:39
Not who they are, but who they were.
26:43
And they start becoming who they are becoming.
26:49
That shift, ladies and gentlemen, is not instant.
26:52
And the people that want the instant gratification,
26:55
well, they're going to be sadly disappointed.
26:57
But if they hang on, they'll get more
27:00
gratification in the delayed gratification than wanting the
27:05
short-term gratification.
27:07
It's layered, guys, and it's built through repetition,
27:12
okay?
27:12
Awareness and consistency.
27:14
Old habits begin to weaken because they no
27:17
longer align with new awareness.
27:20
New habits from what we have formed because
27:23
behavior begins adjusting to new understandings.
27:26
Self-perception changes because experience forces correction.
27:31
And confidence begins to rebuild, not from certainty,
27:34
but from evidence.
27:37
Behavior becomes intentional, guys, not reactive, not automatic,
27:41
not autonomous.
27:42
Intentional and intentional behavior is the foundation of
27:46
success of identity rebuilding.
27:49
As identity begins to stabilize, consistency becomes more
27:54
important than intensity.
27:56
Because intensity creates short-term change.
28:00
But consistency creates identity permanence.
28:04
Experience reshapes thinking over time.
28:07
Because reality is a stronger teacher than assumption.
28:11
And every repeated experience updates internal belief structures.
28:16
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
28:18
Morley, serial entrepreneur.
28:19
Be sure to check out BelieveMeAchieve.com for,
28:22
of course, more of my amazing, inspiring creations,
28:26
which you can do 24 hours a day
28:27
now that the show is over at BelieveMeAchieve
28:29
.com.
28:30
Have yourself a great one, everyone.
28:31
And remember, ladies and gentlemen, your identity defines
28:34
who you are, and that defines your perceptions.
28:37
And your perceptions create your reality, and your
28:40
reality determines your success.
28:42
Have a good one, and be well, everyone.