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Transcript

When You Want to Quit, Don’t: Push Beyond Your Limits · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Where I out by work ethic from.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Was the hours I had to spend learning this.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: When you sit down and you're not smart, and you
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: have a disability, and you.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Still want to be at the top of your class.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to get by when I realized that
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: I can learn through hard work.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: And I can beat the valve Victorian school.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: But I got put in ten hours more a day
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: than he does.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: You know what kind of strength comes from that?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: When you're sitting down that guy that value of twenty
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: thirty for an hour, and you know I caught you.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I caught you, and I am dumb, but I have
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: the work ethic to catch you.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: That's where David god Has got really invented.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Was at a kitchen table with twenty spiral notebooks that
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: were empty, and then three months later they were full.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: And when you can go through that, I still have
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: them in my stories.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: You and you go through these.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Spiral notebooks of your life and you were like, this
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: is how I learned learned.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: This is unbelievable. There's no miles. It's not about the miles.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Is that having a discipline every day to say, for
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: me to learn this one math problem, it's gonna take
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: me ten hours, and that's where you realize do hard
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: work you can do. You can outwork anybody, no matter
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: how bad as they are.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: But that's the part people don't want to dive into.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: These are the facts, and they're undisputed.
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: Your problems in your past aren't on anybody else's agenda.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Not really.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: You may have a few people in your inner circle
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: who care about what you're going through, but for the
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: most part, no one gives a shop because they're dealing
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: with their own issues and focused on their own lives.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: I learned that the hard way on our drive from
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: Buffalo to one hundred and seventeen South MacGuire Street in Brazil,
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: Indiana when I was eight years old. I assume I
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: was going to work into the biggest pity party of
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: all time.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: I expected balloons, cake, ice cream, and big, warm hugs.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: Instead, it was as if all the pain and terror
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: never happened. Sergeant Jack didn't deal in pity. He was
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: out to hearten my show, and that's exactly what he did.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: Pity is a soothing bomb that turns toxic at first
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: when your family and friends commiserate with you and validate
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: the reasons you have for grumbling about.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: Your circumstances and lands like sympathy.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: But the more comfort pity brings you, the more external
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: validation you'll crave, and the less independent you will become,
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: which will make it that much more difficult for you
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: to gain any traction in life.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: That's the vicious cycle of pity.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: It SAPs self esteem and inner strength, which makes it
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: harder to succeed, and with each subsequent failure, you will
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: be more tempted to pity yourself. Look, I get it.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Life isn't fair or easy. A lot of us are
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: doing a job that we don't want to do. We
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: feel we are above the tasks coming.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Our way, and that the world, or God or.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: The fates have sentenced us to live in a box
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: where you not belonging. When I was a night shift
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: security guard at a local hospital, I felt that work
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: was beneath me, so I showed up every night with
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: a voice in my head screaming I don't want to be.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Here, and that infected everything about my life.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: I ate my feelings, blew up and slipped into a
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: deep depression. I wanted a different life, but my shitty
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: attitude made it impossible to create one. Every minute you
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: spend feeling sorry for yourself is another minute not getting better,
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: Another morning you miss at the gym, Another evening wasted
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: without studying, Another day burned when you didn't make any
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: progress towards your dreams, ambitions and deepest desires, the ones
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: you've had in your head and heart your entire life.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: Every minute you spend feeling sorry for yourself is another
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: minute spent in the dungeon.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Thinking about what you lost or the opportunities.
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: That have been snatched away or squandered, which inevitably leads
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: to the great depression. When you're depressed, you're likely to
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: believe that nobody understands you or your plight. I used
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: to think that way, But when Sergeant Jack banged that
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: trash cant lid inches from my ear in the morning,
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: he was telling me I wasn't the only little boy
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: who got whipped.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Or suffered from toxic stress.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Sometimes the emotions we feel are a product of the past.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: Sometimes we just don't want to get up at five
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: and do hours of chores before school because it sucks.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: Sergeant Jack expected me to perform, no matter what I've
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: been through or what time it was. In response, my
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: feelings got hurt, I started getting out of bed into
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: the last possible moment. A half asked my way through
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: my mornings as part of a mindless MOPI rebellion. He
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: didn't give a rats ass That grass still needed to
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: be cut, the leaves needed to be raked, and the
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: weeds needed to be pulled. No matter how much I
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: belly ached, this work needed to get done, and it
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: would get.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Done by me.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: My feelings were costing me a ton of time because
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: no matter how I felt, there was a task in
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: front of me. And that's all that mattered in the
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: present moment. The only thing that ever matters is the
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: present moment. Yet too many people let their depression or
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: regret hijack their day. They let their feelings about the
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: past hijacked their lives. Perhaps their fiance left them at
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: the altar, or they got fired without cause. Guess what,
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: One day they will pan back and realize that nobody
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: can cared about any of that but them. I don't
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: care what you've been through. I can feel bad for you,
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: I can have sympathy for you, but my sympathy won't
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: get you anywhere. When I was a young, damaged kid
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: feeling sorry for myself didn't help me. What help was
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: cleaning those white walls right.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: The first time.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: We cannot get time back, so we must be minute horders.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: The earlier I get up, the more I do, the
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: less time I stay in pity party, feel sorry for myself,
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: land the stronger I become, and the more daylight.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: I see between me and everyone else.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: When you separate yourself from the pack by cultivating the
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: values and priorities that lead to greatness, mountains of adversity
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: and hardship becomes speed bumps, and that makes it easier
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: to adapt to the road ahead and build a new
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: life or sense of self you crave. I wanted that
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: comfort zone that everybody looks for, that pass on the back.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: They don't want to hear all the bad. They want
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: everything that they're doing right. And I realized that's what
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: kept me in this world. That's what kept me in
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: this world of not accomplishing anything. So what I did
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: was I became that big, bad, nasty that you don't
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: want to walk into at nighttime. I became the roughest
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: critic in the world on myself, and that's what changed me.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: I literally saw myself in the mirror. I saw the
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: truth first of saying, you know, my dad did this
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: to me from you know, from beating me kids in school,
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: from calling me, or did this to me, my life,
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: did this to me, My broken foundation did this to me.
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: I took that and said, you know what, well, some
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: people may help this happen, but now I have to
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: own this. No one's gonna come back to save me.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: No one's gonna come back on this couch and say, hey,
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: it's okay, You're gonna be okay.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: No I'm not. I'm not gonna be okay. Real lies.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I had to take a stand.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: I had to make a real stand, and it was
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: painful to look at who I like, who I was,
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: what the world and myself created. It created a very lonely, depressed,
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: insecure man that would do anything just to have a friend.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: And I saw that as very pathetic. When you look
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: at the truth, it becomes very ugly and pathetic. When
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: I went to live with Sergeant Jack, I was forced
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: to adapt extremely fast. Everyone was hard on me my
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: whole life. But I came out of all that with
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: lessons learned that stuck with me. Those who learned to adapt, survive,
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: and thrive don't feel sorry for yourself.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Get strategic attack the problem.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: When you adapt, you will begin to see everything that
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: comes your way as a stepping stone on your progression
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: toward a higher plane high pain esteem.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: Jobs are generally not entry level.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: You have to start somewhere, but most people see the
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: thankless tasks that must be completed in order to advance
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: as burdens instead of opportunities.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: That makes it impossible for them to learn.
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: You've got to find the lesson in every shitty task
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: or low wage job that requires humility. I wasn't humble
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: enough to appreciate my experience in security, so my attitude
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: was fouls.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: I thought I deserved much.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: Better, oblivious to the fact that almost everybody starts at
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: the bottom and from there it's attitude and action that
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: determine the future. Humility is the antidote to self pity.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: It keeps you rooted in reality and your emotions check.
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: I'm not suggesting you should be satisfied with an entry
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: level job. I'm never satisfied, but you must appreciate what
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: you have while staying hungry enough to learn.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Everything you can.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: You need to learn to wash the dishes, flip the burgers,
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: sweat over the deep fire, sweep up the job site,
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: work in the mailroom, and answer the phones. That's how
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: you build proficiency. It's important to learn every aspect of
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: any business before you move up. You can't rise if
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: you're weighed down by bitterness and entitlement. Humility hardens your
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: spine and encourages you to stand tall, secure in yourself,
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: no matter what anyone else thinks, and that has tremendous value.
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: I once heard a story about a Master Sergeant in
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: the Army name of William Crawford that exemplifies the power
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: of humility. He retired in nineteen sixty seven and took
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: a job as a janitor at the Air Force Academy
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: in Colorado Springs. The cadets he cleaned up after paid
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: him little mind, in part because he was reportedly painfully shy,
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: but also because these cadets were elite students on an
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: officer track, and Master Sergeant Crawford was just a janitor,
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: or so they thought.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: They had no clue that he was also a war hero.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: Except Timber nineteen forty three, the thirty six Infantry Division
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: was getting blitzed by German machine gun fire mortars during
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: a pivotal Second World War battle for.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: A piece of Italian real estate known as Hill four
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: hundred and twenty four.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: The Americans were pinned down with no escape route until
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: Crawford spied three machine gun nests and crawled beneath rivers
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: of bullets to toss a grenade.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: Into each of them.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: His bravery saved lives and allowed his company to advance
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: the safe ground, and after the third direct hit, the
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: Germans abandoned Hill four hundred and twenty four, but not
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: before they took Crawford prisoner.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Presumed to be killed in action.
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: Tales of his heroism spread among infantrymen and traveled up
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: the chain of command. In nineteen forty four, he was
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: awarded the Medal of Honor, the highest decoration in the
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: US military, Because everyone thought he was dead.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: His father accepted the medal on his behalf. Later that same.
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: Year, he was found in a liberted pow camp, oblivious
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: to the hype surrounding his name. In nineteen seventy six,
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: an academy cadet in his roommate read about that battle
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: and connected the dots. Their humble janitor had won the
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: Medal of Honor. Can you imagine what went through their heads.
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: The Medal of Honor speaks to everything a military person reverers,
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: not the medal itself, but the courage and selflessness inside
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: the human being who.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Earned that medal.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: Those students wanted to be him, and there he was,
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: mopping their floors and cleaning their bathrooms every day. Master
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: Sergeant Crawford was a walking lesson in self esteem, courage, character,
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: and especially humility.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: The way I see it.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: Master Sergeant William Crawford had figured it the gut. The
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: Medal of Honor didn't change him. He rose to prominence
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: by staying humble and risking his own life to save others,
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: and retired into the service of others. It was never
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: about him, and that gave him strength.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: People who feel.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: Sorry for themselves are obsessed with their own problems and
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: their own fate. Is that really much different than the
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: greedy and egotistical people who want to feel better than
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: everybody else. The higher I climb in my life, the
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: more I realize how much I need to mop that floor,
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: because that's where all the knowledge is.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: There is no grid.
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: At the top, no tests of resolve in stake dinners,
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: five star hotels, or spa treatments.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: Once you make it in.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: This world, you have to free fall back to the
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: bottom in some way to keep learning and growing. I
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: call this train humility. It's a shedding of your skin
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: that allows you to take on a mission that no
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: one else can see and do whatever.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: Needs to be done next.
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: Trained humility is service but also strength, because.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: When you are humble enough to remember that you'll never
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: know it all. Each lesson you learn only makes you
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: hungrier to learn.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: More, and that will put you on a path that
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: guarantees you will grow all the way.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: To the grave.
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: I started figuring out going through buzz was that the
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: harder something is.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: The more it was challenging my mind.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: So I had to find different ways to stay in
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: the fight, and it stayed in the fight. It got
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: me tougher and tougher and tougher. So I'm actually happy
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: I went through three hell weeks. I never examined myself,
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: and as a human being, you got to examine yourself,
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: and and I guess the best place to examine yourself
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: is Navy Still hell weak, so I got to examine
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: myself a few times.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: So it started there. It started in Hell week, and
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: it's still going now. At forty three years old,