Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep73: Nick remembers honest diggers; Evelyn remembers understanding trends.

Transcript

Ep73: Nick remembers honest diggers; Evelyn remembers understanding trends. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's reverse J Folks, welcome back to the Reverse Jackass podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're here.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Nick with me as always is Evelyn, the Canadian Blade.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Evelyn, say hello to these kind people.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: Hi to the kind and the unkind.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe more the kind than the unkind.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_03: But hello everyone.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: My name is Evelyn.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm the Canadian Blade.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like Nick said, we're on a bit of a time crunch recording this podcast today.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: So if it sounds like you're listening to it on one and a half or two, you're not.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: We're just talking fast.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're just speeding through it.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Hello to the divas.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Hello to the dumps.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is the podcast to bring peace between the United States and Canada, which are currently in an economic war.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Evelyn, thank you for coming into the DMZ with me to have this conversation.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And what I want to talk with you about today, Evelyn, is a niche skill that I have or had um based on my history.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to tell you that one of my first jobs when I was a teenager was working in the games department of a local theme park.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Think of it as a low-budget uh Universal Studios or Disney, right?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like a like a like a Virginia-based theme park that's a big deal out there.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I worked in the games department, which meant I was the guy that helped you throw a ball into a milk jug or um helped you throw a ring on top of a jug to win a prize or play skee ball, that kind of thing.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Randomly, lots of jugs in Virginia.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Recipes doll garden.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it was summertime, so I suppose it was optimal jug viewing time.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but still, I think there was always room for more.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, all this is to say that um this was this was pre-jug viewing era for me.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So what I did instead was got really good at video games and arcade machines.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it turns out that I got really good at those claw machines.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because it turns out that you can actually be good at claw machines.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, those little ones that we used to call the official term for them is diggers.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's where a little crane comes down and picks up a stuffed animal and then deposits it, right?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you can win a plush.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: They're having a renaissance right now with the preteens.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: They are, and we'll get to that.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm sorry.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, no, I'm glad that you you see where this is going.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I do.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it's one of those things where it turns out there is skill involved in it, right?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the strategy is you have to look at the machine, you have to scout it out, you have to see what prize is pickable, and then you have to decide if you want that prize.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so the key is if you go and you say, Oh my god, I definitely want that iPod or whatever, and I don't know if they still make iPods anymore.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you want that, I definitely want that telegram machine.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I really want that Victorla.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I want that stock ticker, yeah.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh stock ticker for me.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but it's near the bottom, then you need to give that up.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: But you need to look at the prizes on the top and see if that's something that you want.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's something that I got good at and didn't think about much until my wife and I went back to Virginia and we did the little Richmond, Virginia tour.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And we went to the restaurant that I worked at that was my very first job, the pizza restaurant in Chesterfield County, Virginia, which is still a pizza restaurant, but now under new ownership and doesn't smell like cigarette smoke anymore.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we went in and they had a couple of diggers in the little lobby area.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh my god, I'm good at these.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, You're good at these?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: She couldn't believe it.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Totally.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And they had beanie babies in there.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I think I can get that pig.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want that pig?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, Hell yeah, I want that pig.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so it took me about a buck fifty, I think.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I got the beanie baby pig out of there, and the pig's name is Petaluma Peppercorn Featherstone Rodriguez, and she lives in my wife's purse.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and my wife is very happy.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it was one of those rare times as a man where I felt like I was able to do like a guy thing to impress my partner.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like I won the thing.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: Can you just say the name for our listeners one more time?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: Because you really blew through it there.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_03: But I want us to really hear every word.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Petaluma, peppercorn, featherstone, Rodriguez.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Wow is the pig's name.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Petaluma peppercorn.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's my favorite part of it.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and she came up with that instantly.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was the same day that ever came up with that.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So so, and so that's a fun little thing that still exists in our marriage.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it was one of those things where when you tell people, they get impressed by it.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: That you're good at the claw the digger case.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're good at the claw machines.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think that if you haven't worked with them, you kind of see it as a something that either can't be one or as like a magical skill that only like you know, you have to be Tommy from pinball wizard to yeah, right?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have to have a certain feel for it that's supernatural.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so Nick Boss is a big sure plays a mean pinball.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure there's a whole song we could write about this.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm resisting the urge.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, all this is to say that this is a thing that I have believed about myself for years and have enjoyed.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then one time recently, my nephew, who is 16, and I decided to go out and have a video game evening, and we went to uh Dave and Buster's and we were, you know, dicking around and you know, winning tickets and playing games and shit, and it was fun.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't been to one in a long time.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then at one point there were like diggers, and we were talking about it.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: And my nephew says, Oh, you know, there's places now that are just all diggers.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Do you want to go?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, It's like 45 minutes away.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Do you want to go?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah, I want to go.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we cashed out all of our tickets, we got in the car, we drove the 45 minutes to the to this thing that is all fucking diggers.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like diggers and pizza, right?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Diggers, pizza, and like, and like Asian appetizers and stuff, like octopus balls and stuff like this.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's a shocking, wow, it's a shocking thing, right?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, we load up these cards.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I put a stupid amount of money on this card so that we can go do these things, and we start playing these diggers.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And what my nephew says to me is like, oh yeah, you know, they just sometimes just don't give a prize.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what the fuck do you mean they don't give a prize?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Well, they're programmed sometimes to work and sometimes not to work.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Are you kidding me?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the digger technology has changed to where now they're programmed only to have a strong enough pickup every now and again.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it adds a randomization to it where like you might have the perfect placement, and if the digger has already decided it's not gonna pick up your prize, it's not gonna pick up your fucking prize.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Which strikes me as so weirdly crooked and should be illegal, you know what I mean?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, and yet the same way that that like sports gambling is now legal on every phone in the United States and you can just destroy your life that way if you want to, like we now have this, we now have these children's casinos where like you can go and it's not about skill anymore, it's about skill plus you know, getting it at the right moment, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: So here's my how are we by having these machines that are programmed to be so random, how are we instilling a sense of respect and trust in construction and farm equipment with our next generation?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-uh.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: They can't possibly I might go so far as to say that I don't think by the time my nephew is an adult that we'll still have farms in the United States, um, because it seems like uh the current leadership is doing his best to fuck them as hard as he can.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not worried about faith in farm equipment.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Construction equipment is another thing altogether.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: So the good news is my nephew was able to win a plushie that he wanted, and I want a tiny little one.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then we played like, I don't know, 18 hours of Street Fighter, like a bingeable amount of Street Fighter, and then we called it an end and it was fine.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And what I thought at the end of it was, oh, this skill I thought that I had, I kind of don't have anymore because they don't make the machine that I'm good at anymore.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so, Evelyn, at the risk of asking a dark question, my question for you is this at what point did you realize that life had passed you by?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I defy you to make it funny.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah, I was gonna say I could go real dark real fast here, but let's okay, what point have I realized life has passed me by?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_03: Had passed you by.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: Had.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're like, it's already happened, Evelyn.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's already just wanted to let you know.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Was it when you was it when you when you walked into your music class for the 10th year in a row and you were like, what's this?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you were expecting them all to go blister in the sun, and they were like, we don't know what song that is.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh like in Mr.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Holland's Opus when he does uh Lovers Concerto by the Toys, and then and in 1958, they're all like, I know that song, but by the time the 90s come around, the school's integrated, and suddenly he has to like he has to live a different life.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: It definitely has to do with teaching.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for steering me and thank you for grabbing the steering wheel and taking me in that direction.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's definitely when I left teaching because teaching, I mean, there's always the joke of oh, those kids, they keep me young, they keep me current.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_03: No, they actually did.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, really?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, oh, I knew slang, I knew what music was popular, I knew what you know what trends were popular, fashion or otherwise, with teenagers.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't partake in them, but I knew what they were, right?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: And and now it is really uh quite disconcerted to not have an idea of what is going on out there because I see things in public.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm at a store or I'm at the mall or I'm somewhere where there are teenagers, I don't understand what they're saying, I don't understand music.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you know, I put on, I was driving the other day, and I probably put on like, you know, I have Apple Music, so I probably put on something like today's hits or summer hits.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I want you to understand that when I get that screen time announcement every Sunday on my phone, what my average screen time is for the week.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm often between nine and ten hours every day.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_03: Good for you.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: Uh thanks, thanks.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: But I still didn't really know any song that I heard on the Summer Hits playlist.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't understand.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_03: I nope, I'm listening to this.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: Not only, see, here's the next step.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_03: Not only did I not know the songs, I immediately believed it's all garbage.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, this is this is terrible songwriting.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, no one's playing a real instrument here, and if they are, they're still really not great at it.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm I'm going in there, I'm really trying not to be cynical, but I can't help it.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, students' clothing is becoming more and more of an enigma to me.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like that, I don't even know, and I'm and I'm gonna get this wrong, so I'm really thankful that not all of our listeners are teenagers, but there was, I don't know if it was last year or the year before, all teenage boys were wearing, literally all they were wearing, were, and I'm gonna mix this up.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: It was either a gray hoodie and black sweatpants or gray sweatpants and a black hoodie.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_03: And you would see like a group of teenage boys walking down the street and they were wearing it like it was a Catholic school uniform.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: They're all wearing the same thing.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning, meaning they were wearing it, wearing it while being terrified that a priest was gonna tear it off of them.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: Well, good.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, sweatpants would be easy to get off.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_03: The hoodie would be the hoodie, you'd have to wrestle them a little bit harder.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: But there were there's all these things, I just don't, I just don't get it.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, and I I maybe I have more thoughts like that.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_03: I just don't get it anymore.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: I don't get it.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: The slang is so awful to me.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I I listen to it going, is it worse now than it ever was?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: Or am I just getting old?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: The same.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're just as old as that.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just getting old.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's what it is.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's what it is.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: There's a new, there's a trend with gyms now.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I know this because I go to one.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I walk in there and I saw people working out in sock feet.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: And I remember thinking, that's disgusting.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's unsynical.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: And unsafe and irresponsible.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: Like you're just gonna be grabbing one of those, what do you grab?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_03: One of the 40s, and you're just gonna lob that thing on the like the bridge of your foot, enjoy hobbling to your car.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: Nope, but I talked to a friend of mine who is an absolute gym rat.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_03: She goes daily, and that's a thing you see.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: So my gym's a smaller gym, but I still really don't like it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: But I can be like, okay, well, there's not tons of people in here.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_03: You go to like a larger gym, one of the chain gyms in the city, and there's like hundreds of people in that thing.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like walking around barefoot, these gym bros are walking around in their dirty white Lululemon socks, just sharing their fungi.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I just think like me, so maybe the answer to your question is more in terms of trends.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's mostly teenagers because I think that's where I understood trends the most, and I am not a trendy person, but seeing shaw, Evelyn.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_03: I just I really love your Louis Vuitton.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Louis Vuitton's over now, by the way.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: Who's in?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: Who's in now?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but it's not Louis Vuitton anymore.
• 12:20
  unknown: Oh my gosh.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_03: Is it is it uh okay, who would it be?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like, is it coach?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: Is that that's probably not high enough.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you okay, but you know what's not in.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_03: Who else is not in?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_03: You and me.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: The reverse jackass podcast.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, no kidding.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: No kidding.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_03: Or marginal, not to be not to be confused with marginalized.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Nope, not at all.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: Those are two very different things.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_03: Well, then the only thing we can do is ask people to to share this podcast or pimp myself.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like those are your two options?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: The two options you have is that we can take a sharp left turn and ask people to share this podcast, or you can pimp yourself.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: For the sake of the podcast, not oh god, not just as a not just as a not just to resist age, not just to to fight back against the movement of time.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if that would help.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: So reclaim, reclaim your youth.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_03: Reclaim my youth.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: You know the other thing is that I noticed that every person under the age of 20 has a skincare routine.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_03: That's the other thing I really noticed.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like, but here, let me tell you, in high school, I either used everything or nothing on my face.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: And by everything, I mean the pump cleanser that was guaranteed to burn all the acne off your face, or I would just a wet washcloth in the shower, just scrub three layers of skin off.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: And now I have a friend, you may know her, her name's Jill.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_03: Her oldest daughter, uh, I want to say 11, uh, has a skincare routine.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, I know it's admirable and terrifying.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, good.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, that's good.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: My wife takes great care of her skin and she looks a million years younger than she is.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, Amber's got great skin.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't have any of the weird growths that I have from my recklessness over the years.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: We're not talking about your dorsal fans.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's a different episode.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: My horns.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: You can't even you can't even comb anything over them.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I wish you could.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry for that.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh speak this is probably a thing for another episode, but this is here's this week in anti-Semitic News.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um I don't want this to be a new recurring segment, by the way.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: This week, and this is 30 years ago, but uh or more.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: My my wife is just Jewish and my wife's mother and father were Jewish and at one point.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: One of her friend's parents asked her mom in sincerity if she had a tail.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like what?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like for real?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Let me just call her real quick.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't want that to go in this podcast if I'm remembering it wrong, but let's just hello, darling.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're on speakerphone with me, Evelyn, and candidly the podcast.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hello! Okay, so I have a question for you, and this can go in or not go in the podcast, and this is after probe nothing, and this is not actually even what we're talking about.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: This but I was reminded of and I told Evelyn, did one of your friends moms ask your mom if she had a tail?
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there you have it, folks.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is a really long time ago, so I'm not positive exactly what it was like.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: It was a girl, we'll call her Allie, that I knew when I was very young.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that my mom had become friends with her maybe before Allie and I became friends.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: It was certainly we were friends to our parents, not really through any other way.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: And Ali's mom, I guess, just hadn't known any Jewish people before.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: And very, very shyly, and I don't think meanly, just maybe not particularly intelligently.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, ask my mom if she had a tail.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: Do you have a response to that, Evelyn?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_03: Well, first of all, if I pick my jaw up off the floor, um maybe like, but had she met any other people of any other religious group or ethnicity?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Like, was this her first time meeting any?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: Was this her first time meeting a person?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty sure it was not her first time meeting a person.
• 16:10
  unknown: Okay.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: I really, I don't know.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: I was so young, I only know this story as a story.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Although I believe that I can picture their kitchen, but that might be entirely made up.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think had they ever encountered an animal?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just wondering how much exposure this person had to the outside world.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember them having any pets.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, really, it could go either way.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's funny because they they had pets, but then they thought they had been overrun by Jews.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: Am I keeping it?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Have you noticed that every morning around dawn this Jewish jumps on our bed and begs us for food?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, that's a cat.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, maybe the cat is Jewish.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe they only knew Jewish animals.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: They were the sort of people who didn't know the word synagogue and just called it Jewish church.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh jeez.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: So they had a lot of learning to do, and it really seems like they came just blasting out of the gate on your mom with that one.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: Nick had a lot to learn.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, fair enough.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: Nick, at any point did you believe anyone in Amber's heritage had a tail?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're asking me if I believed anyone in her heritage had a tail?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that both of us and you have people in our lineage that had tails 45 million years ago.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think you and Amber and I have the exact same number of uh beings in our lineage with tails.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I thought.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I thought you were gonna say, I think you, Amber and I have the exact same amount of tails.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: To be fair, I have an extremely pronounced tailbone that I do refer to as my tail.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: Oh.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: I've been doing that since we met.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: Nick just told me that was your biggest selling feature, actually, for him.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I like a girl with a little a little tail on her.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's oh, because you don't want to pass your tail jeans on to something.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_03: Have you ever thought of just getting a couple sea monkeys for the home?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, will they raise the other sea monkeys that we have?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm kind of looking for a sea monkey dugger situation here.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just remembering the first time we met Amber and I saw you, and you turned around to grab something, and I saw that little poke out of the back of your jeans right above where the ass is, and I was just like, oh yeah.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, there it goes.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Wag me, baby.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Wag me.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was weird.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do you guys just some rude people?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm gonna leave the Zoom call so Nick and Amber can finish their conversation and y'all can listen to it.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for joining us today.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for helping us, Amber.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Amber.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: All right, love you.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Bye now.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: So there you have it.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that no matter how weird your life is, you've never had another adult ask you if you have a tail and really not know.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: And if someone does ask you, prove it to them.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Show them the show them the whole fucking thing.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: Leave no doubt.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: Because you would not want to get to where Nick has helped me see where I am, where life has passed you by and you've gone your whole life without proving to a single other human that you do not, in fact, have a tail attached to your posterior.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_03: Life is short.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's not worth living that life.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, folks, thank you for joining us on the Reverse Jackass podcast today.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, we moved one step closer to peace.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Evelyn, thank you for your commitment to the youth, and thank you for your commitment to peace and and tolerance.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: Lost so much tolerance.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, the theme of my the theme of my role in this friendship is tolerance.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's well put.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: All right, folks, we love you.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like and subscribe, tell everybody how much you love it or hate it, and we'll see you next time.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: Bye.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: Some neighbors are besties.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: Stuck together through geography.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: One of us has nukes.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: And the other has tokes.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_03: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's revolution.