Latest / Did That Age Well? / #183 – Did Dodgeball age well? (w/ Kyle Ayers and Bailey Norton)

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#183 – Did Dodgeball age well? (w/ Kyle Ayers and Bailey Norton) · Did That Age Well?

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Hey everyone, welcome to Did that age.
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Imagine they don't like that and they're like, Oh no, I hate
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comedy and having. Fun.
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I don't know what I was even doing here.
0:57
There was this show on Netflix a long time ago called Indian
1:02
Matchmaker and there was this woman, this like contestant on
1:06
the show who goes, I hate comedy and you know that.
1:08
I love that person. I do, too.
1:10
I was in an Uber one time going and had to go from all the way
1:12
from New Orleans to Baton Rouge, which is a couple of hours.
1:15
Yeah. And the Uber driver said we're
1:17
talking. And I was like, I do stand up.
1:18
And he literally goes, I have no use for live comedy.
1:21
That's iconic and I want to laugh.
1:23
I think of something that's made me laugh before, and I laugh at
1:26
that again. And So what an.
1:28
Incredible. That's like you're a more.
1:29
Refreshing. Yeah.
1:30
Yeah. My best friend hates comedy and
1:32
tells me all the time he's like, I think comedy is desperate, I
1:38
think. Where's the lie, you know?
1:40
Incredible to be like comedy is desperate as you post the third
1:43
story of your Leg lifts day. Oh yeah, yeah.
1:47
I'm personally shouting out one person.
1:49
Yeah, Takedown of Will Brill. If you're watching this, which
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you won't be because you hate comedy, Yeah.
1:53
Totally. You hate comedy and having fun.
1:56
Yeah. And have to shout out our other
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sponsor Nexstar and Sinclair Media Company.
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Thank you. So.
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Much for having us. We legally have to shout you out
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and say thank you for everything you do.
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Yeah, we appreciate it. And you've done nothing but good
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things ever and made. Good decisions and God bless.
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America, Yeah, and also. That and also that.
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Yeah, especially God, Daddy, God, Daddy, God one.
2:17
Bailey, Kyle, welcome back to the pod.
2:19
Oh, my God. Thank.
2:20
You so much for having us back. Thank you so much for being
2:23
here. Bailey, what's going on with
2:24
you? What do you got going on?
2:25
Oh man, I'm here in Denver for the High Plains Comedy Festival,
2:29
which is my first my first High Plains.
2:31
Oh my gosh. Long overdue in my opinion.
2:34
I'm thrilled to be here, it's so much fun.
2:36
Yay, a great time. Good.
2:38
Kyle, what's up with you? Also here for High Plains and
2:42
it's we're having a good time, yeah, doing some shows and
2:45
hanging out. It's nice to see people.
2:46
We're somehow we like the daytime more because the daytime
2:49
you get to see everyone and they're you're not a time
2:50
crunch. And at night it's like, can I
2:52
see 3 minutes of my friend before I run to other place?
2:55
Nighttime it's a good time to be a consumer.
2:57
Daytime, it's a good time to be like someone on the festival,
3:00
just sort of relaxing. Just kind of a friend, yeah.
3:02
And doing like this and like, oh, I rarely get down time when
3:05
we're traveling and doing Rd. stuff, especially in places
3:09
where there's actually anything to do in your downtime, which is
3:12
only like 6. And Denver is one of them.
3:17
Yeah, OK, we're here. Look, we're here.
3:20
Yeah, we're here having fun, you might say.
3:24
I wanna know. OK, Bailey, this was your first
3:26
time watching the movie Dodgeball.
3:27
That's what we're talking about today.
3:28
A true underdog. Story.
3:29
A true underdog story. I know which one we're talking
3:31
about. Starring Vince Vaughn and Vince
3:33
Stiller. Yeah.
3:34
So tell me about. Tell me about first of all how
3:37
you were able to avoid this movie for so long and then also
3:40
your impressions of it the first time you watched it.
3:44
Thank you for those questions. You're so welcome.
3:46
I, I don't know how I avoided it for so long.
3:49
I feel like, you know, when something is in the zeitgeist
3:52
and people are always quoting it and you kind of feel like you've
3:54
seen it. So you're like, I don't need to
3:56
actually see it. I think I got the highlights
3:58
from everyone. You got the gist of it.
3:59
I think that's how I avoided it, which is just total disinterest
4:02
and watching it. And that's great, honestly.
4:05
Thank you. And then my first impressions
4:08
were that this did not hold up well.
4:11
You know what, that is so true and I can't wait to get in that
4:14
into that for another approximately 45 minutes.
4:16
Same. I will say I think Ben Stiller
4:20
is the funniest person in alive. I think he's fantastic in this
4:25
movie. So funny.
4:27
And I think, I think that Vince Vaughn should publicly apologize
4:33
in. General.
4:35
Not for attending the inauguration, simply only for
4:38
this, Yeah. This was definitely a gateway to
4:40
attend the inauguration. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4:43
Yeah, this is kind of the prequel.
4:45
Yeah, this was yeah to that it it.
4:47
I'm not surprised that he would attend the inauguration after
4:50
watching this. I would call it a villain origin
4:52
story. We saw how sure he.
4:53
Kept his taxes as a business, simply avoiding.
4:56
Paying them to. Pop into the entire.
4:57
Movie The closet where he's like, yeah, here are all my
5:00
papers. I'm like you.
5:01
I hated him from the second this movie started.
5:04
I've never liked him in any movie or TV show I've ever seen
5:09
him in, but this particularly I was like how the fuck is this
5:12
the protagonist? How is this the guy?
5:14
How is this? The guy I.
5:16
Was like obsessed with how he had a haircut, as though he
5:18
thought he would be in Gladiator right after this movie The
5:21
entire time. And like, that's just that's not
5:23
even just a Caesar ish ish like Clooney haircut.
5:25
Yeah, that's Joaquin Phoenix in the movie Gladiators.
5:29
Haircuts he had baby bangs, he. Did little micro bangs?
5:32
Yeah, micro bang. Maybe don't need the phrase baby
5:35
bang out there all that often. And Kyle, what's your history
5:41
with? Dodgeball.
5:42
I saw dodgeball when it was in the movie theaters.
5:44
Yeah, me. Too 07 I.
5:46
Think it's Theater 2004 I think. Oh my gosh, it's even older than
5:49
that. 2004. Yeah, that's right.
5:50
Because I was in high school and I remember seeing it in movie
5:52
theaters and just laughing so hard and being like, this is so
5:54
funny. And quoting it all of the time
5:57
and still kind of quoting parts of it all of the time to this
6:01
day. I think what is held up about
6:03
the movie is the one or two lines that persist and virtually
6:07
nothing else besides Ben Stiller's incredible commitment
6:10
to such such a dumb thing. Don't Nobody makes me bleed.
6:13
My own blood is a forever line to.
6:15
Me. But I saw it in movie theaters
6:17
probably 2 times and really, really liked it and loved Ben
6:21
Stiller because of Zoolander at the time and was just so
6:25
exciting. I think Anchorman came out right
6:26
around the same time. You just feel like all these
6:28
comedies are being made for exactly me and it turns out they
6:31
were, but not for me to age, just for me.
6:34
That year I was in high school, a sophomore in higher freshman
6:37
in high school or whatever. And no other time it was it was
6:40
so funny then and then re watching it, it is the parts
6:45
that you remembered where it's funny and you forgot what every
6:48
other part of the entire movie was.
6:51
But I remember being like Stephen Root is so funny.
6:54
Just everyone in this is is so committed to this dumb stuff.
6:58
You forget so much of it. I don't want to get jumped too
7:01
far ahead into like what was just like jarringly odd about
7:04
it. The the this is so I have a tiny
7:09
back and forth friendship with the director and writer of the
7:12
movie, but he's more now into like big action type of stuff
7:16
and like that and you're but you're just like, it's such an
7:19
odd. The sentiment in the movie holds
7:22
up very well. The underdog, the.
7:24
Underdog it is a it's a dodgeball, an underdog story.
7:27
It is like. A true dog story.
7:29
And it's like, so that is a forever story.
7:32
I am obsessed. I will forever love.
7:35
And it's generally been a sitcom thing.
7:37
But it is also like the the plot of Electric Boogaloo, which is
7:41
we need to save this essentially building that is for the
7:47
community by doing a weird action thing, whether it's like
7:52
Electric Blue being like a break dancing competition or whatever
7:54
or. Like a talent.
7:56
Show or a ski Ski competition. I I love like big company by
8:01
small company. Unless small company can get
8:03
money tomorrow. There's a contest for money
8:05
tomorrow. I love stuff.
8:07
Like that, I love that it's very Disney Channel coded in a way
8:09
that is so like simple and it's Brink it's.
8:12
Brink and it's also the Jackie Daytona episode of What We Do in
8:16
the Shadows. Yes, it is Which?
8:18
Is for sure leaning into that that same thing I love I think I
8:21
love it forever. I love that it didn't try hard.
8:23
I it is just so many of the jokes yeah feel weird with
8:29
headphones in. Yeah, on America's sub titles.
8:32
On I was like, I am so sorry to be.
8:36
It's also immediately butts. Immediately Butts.
8:39
And I think it's tasteful butts. It's not.
8:41
I wasn't worse. It could have been so much
8:43
worse. Yeah.
8:44
But like I was like, at one point I was like, I have to turn
8:46
the subtitles off because this is so like I don't like who I am
8:51
is sitting in the middle seat. I.
8:52
Don't want to be perceived. I don't want to be.
8:54
Watching it like this, yeah. But then I couldn't hear it, so
8:57
I had to have them back They. Got about one hour to turn the
9:00
subtitles off before the Arsler pops.
9:02
Up on them which? I know it will.
9:04
There it is. You're just simply almost
9:07
impressed by their restraint, waiting that long into the movie
9:10
to drop what you figured someone would say in the second game in
9:13
the movie. Absolutely, yeah.
9:16
It's like saying fuck in APG 13 movie.
9:20
And they did. I remember this being a huge
9:22
fuck in APG 13 movie. And it's like very much because
9:25
this was when everyone knew that dialogue was happening and then
9:29
it's it's the end of the movie. And it was such a time capsule
9:33
of a joke you don't want to spoil.
9:35
Fucking Chuck Norris is like such a time capsule Dumb.
9:39
Joke. That hit so hard when I saw in
9:41
theaters was like, I can't believe they're acknowledging
9:43
the jokes we know. Totally.
9:48
These people get my comedy. Yeah.
9:51
But is it Chuck Norris? What?
9:53
I don't know. I, I, I don't know if I've
9:55
defended this movie without having watched it in 15 years.
9:58
Sure. But I certainly will defend it
10:00
less and on a curve. Now, haven't we watched it?
10:03
Yeah, if anyone happens to ask you, Kyle Ayers, what do you
10:06
think? What are, what are your
10:07
comments? What your take on dodgeball, a
10:11
true underdog story? Now you have you have less to
10:14
more nuance. You'll say it's a little bit
10:16
nuanced. Dad, imagine saying that.
10:21
Imagine saying that about. Dodgeball a little bit.
10:24
It's a little bit nuanced. It's a little bit nuanced, It
10:26
is. Kubrick S framing and I honestly
10:31
think it's like well made, well directed.
10:36
Once again, jokes that don't hold up extracted out the plot
10:40
works really well. I think the they underserve some
10:43
of the smaller characters in such a dire manner.
10:46
I agree. That you wish is almost like 6
10:49
minutes longer and that people would have more fun with some of
10:52
them. But it is like ultimately a
10:56
pretty tight script and pretty well done.
10:59
And fun. I had fun watching it.
11:01
You did. I did at no point was I like
11:04
above the above dodgeball, a true underdog story.
11:07
I had a wow. At no point will I ever be,
11:10
should I I you're. A true underdog I.
11:12
Think we just call it Datus for short.
11:14
Dodgeball. A true underdog story, We'll
11:16
just call it. Datus the Datus Cinematic
11:19
Universe. Which we could argue
11:21
heavyweights might be in. Oh, absolutely, yeah.
11:24
There's a lot, a lot of kind of fucked up stuff in this
11:27
cinematic universe. I would say yeah, if we were
11:30
going to start to build that. I can imagine that that is true,
11:33
having only seen this. I'm wondering like what what I
11:37
was feeling the whole time. You know, you're watching in
11:38
preparation for this and you're like, this is such a the like
11:45
the fat shaming is so odd in the movie where sometimes it's super
11:50
body positive. But like you don't really like
11:52
Vince Vaughn's character and he's like the nice body positive
11:56
guy. And you don't like you don't
11:58
like Ben Stiller's character as well.
12:01
White Goodman is an incredible man to name the guy the color
12:05
white as his first name. So funny.
12:08
And his last name? Goodman White.
12:10
Goodman White Goodman did not. Age, well, I think it's.
12:13
Funny. But it, it's actually aged very
12:15
appropriately in the society. That's true.
12:17
Yeah. It it was just so you're like,
12:20
well, that's such a weird, lazy kind of joke.
12:23
And then this one's actually like, kind of built in a
12:26
positive nuance. And then that one's kind of lazy
12:29
whiplashed around by some of it. And then RIP Torn's character
12:34
patches. Oh, Houlihan all.
12:35
Time name, I think, yeah. The names in Yeah in dodgeball
12:39
true underdog story are really, really patches.
12:42
Oh, Houlihan. Oh, Houlihan I.
12:45
Played by both Gank Azaria and RIP Torn.
12:48
I did I and then we talked. I noticed it's something I
12:50
didn't notice when I'd last seen it.
12:52
It'd been a while. Was that the dodgeball training
12:54
video? Which is a pretty famous part of
12:56
the the show because it or the movie because it introduces
12:59
dodge dip, duck dive and dodge. The 5DS but with Hank Azaria and
13:04
it was clearly Nazi built made propaganda for sure.
13:09
It was like 1938 production of like Uber education videos or
13:14
whatever. I never picked up on that until
13:15
watching this time, which I thought was a very funny joke.
13:17
It's hilarious. And it Hank Azaria is so funny I
13:20
wish she's in more things. And I just such a just like 9
13:25
lines that are so legitimately I just I don't know.
13:32
If they were, didn't it feel like they would have aged poorly
13:35
by 2009? Right.
13:37
Yeah, yeah. The only to me in this whole
13:41
movie, really the only thing that age as well is if you can
13:44
dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
13:46
Very funny line. That's a very funny line.
13:48
I did laugh out loud when that happened.
13:51
And every time we threw a wrench at somebody, I did laugh.
13:53
I had a hard time bleeding Justin Long was this sniffly for
13:56
some reason looking. Back God He's.
13:59
So like they're like it was like weirdly progressive about
14:04
cheerleading and also, but that was such a odd there's no
14:08
registration issues at the cheerleading contest.
14:11
He's allowed to just show up. They have a costume or whatever
14:14
that a uniform that fits him and he's good at it.
14:17
He also I like seeing Laurie De Berg for two seconds as the
14:20
cheerleader show up. It was so, and he's the
14:24
developed of the side characters.
14:26
Right. Which is shocking because
14:29
there's nothing there. I cannot imagine a more boring
14:34
person except for Vince Vaughn's character.
14:36
That's. Oh my God, Oh my God, I hate
14:39
him. You know, what's so odd is that
14:42
yesterday I recorded an episode talking about swingers, which to
14:45
me is like kind of the only good performance of Vince Vaughn.
14:49
And it was his first and his entire career to me kind of went
14:51
downhill from there. And this, I think, was one of
14:55
the one of the movies that really solidified him in like
15:00
the a boring man who doesn't do anything kind of typecast.
15:05
And boy, did he capitalize on that.
15:08
He's laughing all the way to the bank for being just blah blah.
15:12
But his pay per word is pretty low.
15:16
He's shoving as many words as possible into everything.
15:19
That's true. I also, we talked a little bit
15:21
about Vince Vaughn and how that felt and how I just feel like
15:24
he's you could thrive so much more as part of a duo or a
15:28
second guy or a third guy. Yeah, he's funny.
15:31
If he comes in and riffs to you weird, bad advice or whatever,
15:35
like old school, it makes a little more sense and like these
15:37
sort of things. But truly as like the driving
15:40
force, you're just like, why would I wouldn't like a guy like
15:42
this? No.
15:44
And so it's tough for me to like be, but it's funny if he's like
15:47
Luke Wilson's friend who's not the person I'm rooting for.
15:51
Right. I think it's impossible to root
15:53
for him in anything like OK, and this the first thing that we see
15:56
him do. Yeah.
15:58
Fucking. Don't solve the case.
16:00
It would be better for me. He the first thing that we see
16:03
is he's laying on the couch and his dog starts licking his Dick
16:08
and he's like, that feels good. And you're just like, I want
16:10
this guy to die. So who did he think that was?
16:13
Yeah. Honestly, who did you?
16:16
Think that was if that wasn't his dog, was that just someone
16:18
stopping by? Yeah, there's someone there the
16:20
night before and he had a hookup and they slept on the couch.
16:23
The couch. Together.
16:24
Yeah. Yeah.
16:24
I think that he is kind of the classic type of person who's
16:28
like, I will get hot women to suck my Dick first thing in the
16:32
morning by being myself, which is what what which?
16:37
Is a guy. Him brushing his teeth and
16:40
rinsing it out not with sink water but with a yoohoo vile.
16:46
Quite click with me for like, what am I supposed to learn
16:49
about him here is that he's lazy.
16:51
But but it's like water's easier than buying an obscure drink.
16:55
Yeah, a chocolate drink. Not even.
16:56
Chocolate, I'm so confused by yeah, what are we supposed to
16:59
know about him? Like, what is that supposed to
17:01
establish at all? And then he owns a gym, I
17:04
thought because like, the movie starts out with the commercial.
17:07
For what? What is Globo Gym?
17:08
Globo gym, yes. For for Globo.
17:11
Is that what it is? Globo Gym, Yeah.
17:12
Globo Gym and then and then So what we know is like, oh, fat
17:16
people are bad. That's the the first thing that
17:18
we know, table stakes. Yeah.
17:20
And then the next thing that we see is Vince Vaughn.
17:21
So I go, are we supposed to think that this is a huge fat
17:24
guy, Right. And I was like, well, he OK,
17:28
He's immediately yeah, OK. He's brushing his teeth with
17:31
yoohoo. But then he owns a gym.
17:34
I was like I just am not sure. I needed something like he
17:37
inherited this gym like some little thing to make any sense
17:40
why he ever would have had it in any capacity.
17:42
Because he didn't. Seem to to want Oh, you I don't
17:45
know. I agree that it was.
17:46
I mean, it's so you get like super nitpicky about like just
17:49
like setting up a comedy thing or whatever.
17:51
But I was like, I agree. This doesn't makes any sense at
17:54
all. And he's sort of not.
17:56
He's nice to everybody. There's only 5 everyone who's
18:00
there. It's a maybe it's just gyms have
18:02
also aged differently and local gyms are kind of gone and
18:05
everything is aged. It's such a weird thing where
18:07
I'm so he's also just too tall and it's just weird to watch
18:10
them talk to people in framing and I'm just like that.
18:13
You look like a Fibonacci sequence talking to these
18:15
people. You're just like so large the
18:18
the rule of thirds does not. Apply because your head.
18:20
Is being cut off all of the time.
18:24
It is jarring how much more fun it was every time the bad guys
18:27
were on. Yeah, that's.
18:28
So true, the bad guys are so much better than him or anything
18:31
that he has going on. Steven Root, though National
18:33
Treasure my. God, God bless.
18:35
God bless. Everything that he was doing was
18:38
good and just incredibly. Obsessed with him, very funny.
18:43
Also just like honestly one of the few things they built well
18:46
was him always reading and consuming obscure sports.
18:49
Exactly. That was one thing that they
18:51
continued to call back to. He was always reading the manual
18:56
and like he knew everything that there was to know about the
18:59
intricacies of this sport. And I said, OK, we have a
19:02
character here. One whole character, a
19:04
character, consistent character. I do the payoff at the very end
19:09
where he's reading the bylaw of the of the sudden death, the
19:13
sudden death or no, no, no, no. Even when they they can the
19:18
vote. Overturn.
19:20
Yeah, the board can overturn committee, whatever.
19:22
And then who is it? Is it, what's his name?
19:24
Chuck Norris, No. Jason Bateman?
19:26
No. That other guy, William Shatner,
19:28
William. Shatner.
19:29
What an insane. Campaign we even get to.
19:34
Lance Armstrong. Yeah, Oh my God.
19:36
OK, that part also was fine to me.
19:38
See, I found that to be what aged worst of the entire movie.
19:41
Is Lance Armstrong giving you good advice on how ought to be a
19:44
nice competitor? Because here's the thing.
19:46
That was the Livestrong era. Everyone had the.
19:49
Everyone had the bracelets. That was such a time capsule.
19:52
The fact that he was in it was so funny.
19:55
Obviously it holds up horribly. So funny, but it was so funny.
19:59
Yeah. Just really good.
20:01
Just put other put baby blood in your system and go play
20:04
dodgeball. That's what he could have said.
20:06
I think if they remake dodgeball they should still have him in
20:10
dodgeball, but he should just be offering some sort of with
20:13
Cheryl. Doping.
20:14
He should be. He should be tied to the Girl
20:18
Scout troop where they had that girl that was God ouchie.
20:22
But if they would have been like Oh my God.
20:25
And she got her drugs from none other than Lance Armstrong.
20:29
Perfect tie in. Perfect tie, yeah.
20:31
I found it to be funny to have Girl Scouts.
20:32
What's doping? And then the visual to be an odd
20:34
thing that made me feel bad. Yeah, absolutely.
20:37
But I was like, it's funny that they're doping and that's why
20:39
you won because you lost. And then I forgot about what's
20:41
her name, like Irene or Art or. And then the little girl cussing
20:45
is funny. But ultimately, like, like you
20:47
at all. Just that the visual that.
20:49
And they hung on it for a long time when she threw stuff at the
20:52
girl that was weird. But it's like they got to get
20:54
forfeited some somehow. That's fine with me.
20:56
Yeah, Lance Armstrong. Worst part of the movie Age.
21:00
Nothing aged worse than that part.
21:01
The only thing it could have been better if they had a Sheryl
21:03
Crow song playing, but other than that it aged horribly.
21:05
So we've got the sun. Yeah, totally.
21:08
OK, so we've got we've got Vince Vaughn being a flop.
21:12
We've got. OK, let's talk about.
21:15
It's I just some like, I don't want to move on from this so
21:18
quickly because I'm just like, is this a, is it a male fantasy
21:24
that that guy would be considered charming?
21:27
Yes it is. It's the male fantasy that like
21:30
you can be a total flop and actively not try and you will
21:36
still have a hot woman who's like a corporate lawyer go
21:41
through your tax documents for what She was around way too much
21:46
for someone who was like. She would take boxes.
21:48
And leave, yeah. The bank and and and I just and
21:52
yeah, I I think it is such like a the Lays is attractive and the
21:58
I don't really know what it was. I could not fathom like seeing
22:01
someone like that at that age. I assume Vince Vaughn supposed
22:04
to be 68 in the movie and just to be like, this is what we're
22:07
into and it like works. A little bit.
22:09
It's like failing up. It's the, it's the male fantasy
22:12
of failing up. And I, I just read this like
22:14
thing about like the dudes in Silicon Valley or like, I, I
22:19
guess kind of any like the show Wall Street, like the place,
22:22
like being like feeling more empowered by the current
22:25
administration. And I think the exact quote from
22:27
someone was like, I feel like I, I feel safe again saying like
22:31
the Arsler and, and things like pussy and I and it's so nice to
22:35
be back. And I'm like, Oh my God.
22:36
And they said we are so bad. Depression has been so terrible
22:39
recently. But that's like genuinely like
22:43
that. I was like, oh, this is their
22:45
mascot. Like in 2004, this was the
22:47
person that they were like, I want to be this guy.
22:48
I fucking love this dude. What a chill hang.
22:50
Totally. Sort of like not in not the
22:52
pickup artist guy, but like the if you don't want to be the
22:55
pickup artist guy cause Fedora's fit weird, you can be this kind
22:59
of like, yeah, whatever, fuck you fuck me bitch like that kind
23:03
of like crazy. Weird piece of shit.
23:05
Yeah, it was. It was very.
23:07
Odd your idols, they put him in contrast with Ben Stiller's
23:10
character being like really aggressive and predatory and
23:14
they're like, we'll see this guy, he's not predatory at all
23:17
and. So just show up at her house.
23:19
He literally showed up at her house, walked in the whole time.
23:22
He gives her a coupon for a back rub when they like barely know
23:25
each other. He let himself into.
23:26
Her house, yeah, like. Jails.
23:29
Because I see smelled cookies. Yeah, I was like.
23:32
This is also weird. At least Ben Stiller didn't let
23:34
himself in the house. All he did was put his arm up in
23:36
a weird way. He was little and they're
23:38
actually married in real life, so I think that's.
23:39
Fine, so it's kind of funny. Yeah, it was so I it did feel
23:44
sort of like the Ben Stiller comes off as almost like the
23:47
pickup artist guy, although at least he works hard.
23:51
And Vince Vaughn is like the Woody, but like a nice guy.
23:54
Is that what they call it? Yeah.
23:55
Yeah. I guess.
23:57
Like the I deserve it because I'm being nice to her type of
24:00
thing I. Learned it kind of it's like the
24:02
absence of absolute explicit predatory behavior.
24:09
And that's. I mean, that's not even to say
24:11
that his predatory behavior wasn't explicit like it was, but
24:14
not to the degree of I'm. Pretty sure he calls her a
24:19
stripper the first time he sees her.
24:20
Yeah, that's actually I think he opens with.
24:23
He opens with It's not my birthday but OK, let's go.
24:26
Or something like that. That's right.
24:28
He calls her. He calls her.
24:29
Pretty eyes in a way that I'm like, oh, ban that from
24:32
language, yeah. Just to lead into the sexual
24:34
harassment. It's also very no lawyer is like
24:36
oh I focus on sexual harassment and also unpaid.
24:40
Gym mortgages, Yeah, yeah, she's a corporate real estate lawyer.
24:44
She's not. She's.
24:46
Not doing sexual harassment. Yeah, that's.
24:50
Good at dodgeball though. Yeah, really good at dodgeball.
24:53
Yeah. How do we feel about OK, I'm
24:57
going to say Patches O Houlihan's jokes about her being
24:59
a lesbian. Honestly, we're kind of funny
25:01
because it's like a guy who made like not like anti Nazi
25:04
propaganda probably would say those things And it might be
25:08
funny, but the way in which the movie itself presented it is
25:12
like lol she's bisexual so she will fuck.
25:16
See I. Hated that evening and I hated
25:18
him using weird terminology for lesbians.
25:23
Not weird but like felt very I I hated when she's like actually
25:26
I'm a bisexual and kissed Vince Vaughn.
25:27
I was like, just have her be a lesbian and not like her.
25:29
Have her be a lesbian, please. But I also whenever he was like
25:33
he clocked her as a lesbian and she was she did say she played
25:36
softball. She look, she said it herself.
25:39
I. Was I was watching it with AI
25:42
was watching it with a friend last night and he was like, Oh
25:47
yeah, the second, the second that she said she played
25:49
softball, I knew that within 5 seconds that were gonna make a
25:51
list and. It's the perfect character trait
25:53
for her to be their best dodgeball player.
25:54
Yeah, plays out very well. It's fun when she hits the
25:56
cardboard cut out with the ball. And of course, she's.
25:58
Everything I disliked more that she was that they.
26:04
Made her be by. Let her kiss Vince Vaughn.
26:06
Exactly. Then I did any other part of him
26:08
saying, excuse me, dyke saying like anything at all like that.
26:12
I was just like, this is a weird old like, yeah, but honestly, in
26:15
these older movies, this older, Oh my God.
26:17
But in these movies, especially comedies, so much of it is like,
26:22
what do you forgive for being said by the worst person because
26:26
it's a bad person in a movie saying a bad thing.
26:29
So do is the joke that it's like, what do you what age is
26:33
what is what? That is just sort of like, I
26:34
guess up to each person to be like, how do I because I don't
26:37
think everyone sits around and has a proper up to date
26:41
vernacular and and and Paso Houlihan bad guy.
26:46
I mean like good, funny guy in the thing, but like probably not
26:48
a progressive by the standards of the time.
26:51
And So what do you forgive and everything?
26:53
But I earnestly it felt kind of mean to pigeon hole.
26:58
What do you need her to even like be into?
26:59
It's so much better if she's not into it.
27:01
Exactly. Like the whole thing is like, is
27:03
she or is she not a lesbian? But they really didn't like,
27:07
they really didn't make us wonder enough because she does
27:10
so much like coddling of Vince Vaughn being like, oh, yeah, you
27:15
are such a nice guy. Yeah, so gross.
27:18
I like. Loved if they were, if she was
27:19
like, yeah, I'm actually bisexual.
27:21
And then Vince Vaughn goes in to kiss her and she's like, oh, I'm
27:23
not into. You.
27:25
No, I've just. Been nice to you for my own
27:26
safety. Yeah, yeah.
27:28
This is a fond response. Yeah, we work together.
27:31
I would have loved if her like female partner slapped Vince
27:34
Vaughn. Dodge Baldom in the.
27:35
Face Dodge Baldom She's also although I've.
27:37
Mentioned her partner is a catcher, not a pitcher, but it
27:39
could have been like a. I mean, she did give her that
27:44
vibe, I will say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:46
But how sweet, how sweet of her to show up.
27:48
I know. She came up from Guam.
27:50
Guam was like so funny. They're like, where's that?
27:53
Where's that faraway place? I got.
27:55
An earlier flight back from Guam.
27:58
OK, cool, cool. We had one take.
28:00
Yeah, and that was that. That was a lot of the really
28:03
quick wrapping up at the end and you got to do it, but I was just
28:06
like, I love there's a 91 minute movie.
28:08
Yeah, I just was like, it's true.
28:09
It did. I don't like that actually I'm
28:12
bisexual is such a also male fantasy projection.
28:15
Exactly. Even when I saw this when I was
28:18
like a preteen, I was like, well, that's not how it is, is
28:21
it? Like, yeah, I'm like, it can't,
28:24
it can't be like that was. She also polyamorous.
28:27
Like how? How?
28:27
Right. How do you?
28:28
How do you? Go to Guam.
28:30
I was. Just going to say, were they?
28:31
Was that invented yet? Was did they still call it free?
28:34
Guam. That's why she was there.
28:36
They call it free love like the 60s.
28:38
You know, the girl who leaves Guam to watch my partner play
28:42
dodgeball and win, and then she immediately kisses someone else
28:45
in front of me. That's a whole new movie where
28:47
I'm like. That's where I want this movie.
28:49
To pick up, yeah, that's dodgeball too.
28:51
That's dodgeball. Too let.
28:52
Everyone know about this new thing she'd come up with.
28:55
She's part of the Church of the Letter Date Saints, which is
28:58
what let's her go tomorrow and tell you this is polyamory.
29:04
And God bless her for you. God's bless her, even if it's
29:06
polyamory. That's so true.
29:08
Why? Was that my least favorite part?
29:10
Why was I so mad that like he just won all this money?
29:12
He actually won $5,000,000, so he still has $1,000,000 leftover
29:16
after buying a gym. Was it legal for him to bet on
29:18
himself as a participant? This would probably have to be
29:21
I. Stephen Root would know the
29:22
answer to that. Question, I was just going to
29:24
say, unfortunately we don't have Stephen Root here to answer that
29:26
question. But one thing that really
29:30
bothered me, that shouldn't have bothered me, was that that Globo
29:35
Gym was a publicly traded company, and he was able to
29:38
become a major shareholder by investing $4 million.
29:42
I was like. Also, if the company's worth $4
29:45
million, you just bought it. Yeah, you bought the company.
29:48
Just say you. And how did you buy it all?
29:50
And the major shareholder thing, it doesn't seem they can't even
29:53
afford to get a new parking garage, right.
29:55
There's only one of them. How is this a publicly traded
29:58
company? You get into all these sorts of
29:59
things. Yeah, I I love this like I I
30:03
loved Michelle. I loved like a lot of the Globo
30:05
gym sidekicks almost more than I loved the Average Joes, which is
30:09
a great name for a gym sidekicks.
30:11
I bet Average Joes merch popped when the movie came.
30:13
Out. Yeah, a lot of Halloween
30:15
costumes that year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:17
I liked a lot of them. I the guy from Grandma's Boy.
30:21
Sort of the weird nerd guy. Oh yeah, the one who couldn't
30:23
remember Steve the pirate. And then he was like, oh, that's
30:26
Steve the pirate. That was wild.
30:27
It's such a wild joke they spent like 4 minutes on.
30:30
Yeah, they invested into that joke.
30:34
It had, I would argue, no payoff at all and was so non sequitur
30:40
and weird. I think very like a relic of
30:42
like jokes around that time. Could have been one line.
30:44
Random sauce like yeah. Not recognize him as a pirate is
30:49
funny, but one line you didn't need like a complete back.
30:52
It's like they're trying to make everyone talk like Vince Vaughn,
30:54
which is just long and rambly and.
30:55
Combative. I kind of think they were also
30:57
trying to like scramble to give all of their like side
31:00
characters traits. And so they're like, if we spend
31:03
more time on him, doesn't matter what the substance is, right?
31:06
He'll simply develop into a character, the character his
31:10
name is. I don't remember any of the side
31:13
characters names 'cause I just call them Stephen Root and
31:16
Justin Long and Guy from. Grandma.
31:18
OK, so we have ripped A ripped torn his patch is a Hooli hand.
31:23
Of course, Alan Todick don't know how to pronounce his name.
31:30
It's. Probably today.
31:31
That's Steve the Pirate. Right, Steve the Pirate.
31:32
Yeah, Justin long as Justin Redmond.
31:35
That's right, his name was. Justin, That's right.
31:37
Stephen Root as Gordon Pibb, Chris Williams, Mr. Pibb.
31:41
Well. My wife left me for Doctor
31:46
Pepper because I couldn't get my degree.
31:51
That's where all that money was coming from was actually
31:53
secretly. That's how he bought a wife,
31:55
which ultimately I thought might age poorly and was a hilarious
31:59
thing. It was funny.
32:00
I laughed the whole time. His kids were so funny.
32:02
Like Oh my God, disappointed with her.
32:04
Just like sitting there. And these little angry things
32:07
that I thought the David Hasselhoff thing was very funny.
32:10
That he. Actually was.
32:11
The coach of the German team. A lot of the other teams felt
32:14
like they didn't have a lot of time to prepare, but it was.
32:18
That was funny. OK, sorry, character names.
32:20
No, that's OK. Then we have Joel David Moore as
32:25
Owen Ditman. Good names.
32:28
That was like the weird nerdy guy Jamal Duff has Michelle and
32:35
oh. Yeah, Michelle is the.
32:36
Assistant, I forgot that Jason Bateman and Gary Cole were in
32:40
this, and that was kind of funny.
32:41
Yes, they were funny. They were funny.
32:43
That was one of the lines that I was like, oh, I've heard of a
32:45
million people say like, it's a bold strategy, Cotton.
32:48
Let's see if it pays off for him.
32:49
I'm like, oh, that's where this is from.
32:51
It's so, yeah, he's so committed to that thing.
32:54
They owe money to Best in Show for this like dynamic, which you
32:58
haven't seen. I've not seen Fred Willard in
33:00
Best in Show is like such an example of the announcer who has
33:03
no idea what's. Happening.
33:04
Yeah, and, and this was definitely the, like, rock
33:08
version of that exact thing. And I think it worked really
33:11
well and was such seeing in theatre was so funny.
33:13
This guy's being funny as an announcer, right?
33:17
You're like losing your mind. Yeah, totally.
33:19
They're like, we've never seen this before.
33:22
Yeah. OK.
33:24
So yeah, I feel like we kind of covered the the main cast.
33:28
Oh, yeah, of course. William Shatner as the
33:29
Chancellor. Chancellor of the American
33:32
Dodgeball Association of America.
33:33
Him screaming it's a bylaw. It was a highlight for me, yeah.
33:37
Yeah. And then with the prize for
33:39
winning the dodgeball tournament was like a scepter with the
33:41
dodgeball in the top. And then they never gave it
33:44
back. They gave it to Ben Stiller,
33:45
they took it back and then it disappeared for the rest.
33:47
Of them it was not a. Massive scepter or whatever.
33:52
But they did roll in a pirate's chest with $5 million.
33:55
From the casino like. From the casino, I don't.
33:57
Think casino rolls in your gambling winnings to a different
34:00
room. Yeah, they, I mean, it couldn't
34:03
be in the bylaws again. We gotta get, we don't know, we
34:07
gotta get a copy of these back to the roots.
34:09
Back to the roots. OK, so we've talked about the
34:13
fat shaming, of course, and they're kind of all over the
34:16
place with that. Yeah, it's like, OK,
34:19
traditionally, traditionally the whole like guy in a fat suit.
34:25
I've never seen someone in a fat suit where I've been like,
34:28
that's fine. You know what I mean?
34:30
I've never, yeah, I've never been like, oh really?
34:32
You know. I'm.
34:33
OK with that. Yeah, but especially like the
34:36
post credits scene with Ben Stiller.
34:39
Do relapse. Yeah, that was pretty.
34:42
Upsetting. That was pretty tough, yeah.
34:43
Pretty tough. Yeah.
34:46
Like the idea that there is this guy who has a chip on his
34:50
shoulder and starts a gym because he used to be fat is
34:54
sort of like, OK, I understand that as a plot device.
34:58
Like it would have been funnier if it was like he had been like
35:01
bullied as a kid for something like really specific and then
35:05
started this whole Globo gym as like a way to redeem that rather
35:10
than. The bullying he misinterpreted.
35:12
Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
35:15
But the yeah, the post credits scene where he's like, you know,
35:20
dancing to milkshake. Tough, really tough.
35:25
I think one of the, you know, we've seen a lot of fat suits in
35:29
this era of comedies. It was really kind of one of the
35:32
worst. I have not seen Austin.
35:34
Powers, which is the one that pops into my head, The.
35:36
Most, yeah. Simply with the naming and
35:38
everything like that. Yeah.
35:40
It really I have seen Tropic Thunder and I think a lot about
35:44
Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder which felt more like a person's
35:49
suit cuz he didn't just sit shirtless to be fat he.
35:54
Also had like prosthetic hands and arms.
35:57
His hands really creeped me out of that.
35:59
And they're. Very, very weird and like yeah,
36:01
no change in depth from like his pinky all the way up his.
36:05
Arm. That's kind of pretty.
36:06
Horrifying. Yeah.
36:08
I think about, I think it's hard to talk about dodgeball without
36:13
talking about heavyweights, yeah, where Ben Stiller
36:16
essentially plays the same person, right?
36:19
In AI, think a funnier, more nuanced version of the same
36:23
person. And I think he's funny in
36:25
dodgeball, right? And I think in Heavyweights it
36:28
is Heavyweights, the movie about kids who go to fat camp to lose
36:31
weight and it's got every child actor from the 90, like the kid,
36:34
like Goldberg from The Mighty Ducks and Keenan is in it and
36:38
like it's. So funny.
36:41
Did he write who? No, Ross and Thurber is the guy
36:44
who wrote and directed dodgeball.
36:45
OK, heavyweights. I could see Ben Stiller maybe
36:48
having written, but I'm not. Sure, I feel like he was
36:50
probably if if not like if he didn't write it he probably was
36:54
like an an EP on. It heavyweights, he was a little
36:57
Disneyer, like a little Disney uh, and I think, I don't know,
37:03
it is it is a little kinder Yeah, and and and he but he is
37:07
like once again, I mean, it is jarring how similar the
37:10
characters. Are yeah, You know what I would
37:12
say about heavyweights? It's a truer underdog story, you
37:16
know what I mean? Damn, it's nice.
37:17
Because the kid, it's incredible kids.
37:20
Dodgeball. Yeah, totally.
37:22
And yeah, they're all just at this camp, needing to lose
37:26
weight but figuring it out, and they have a competition against
37:28
the cool camp. Across the like.
37:30
Or whatever. It also introduced us all to the
37:32
BLOB, which is an exciting thing.
37:34
The thing on the lake that you jump on.
37:36
And yeah, a joy. Yeah.
37:38
I feel like we. Yeah, it's definitely like some
37:42
contrast between how far we've come as a society that fat is
37:46
not inherently bad at all like that.
37:49
It's actually not an interesting trait about any person.
37:52
And that and the basis of dodgeball is that like, fat is
37:55
the worst thing that you can be. Totally.
37:58
And that immediately makes you go like, oh, I don't think I
38:00
can. Like watching it yesterday, I
38:02
was like, oh, I'm just not going to be super on board with
38:05
anything that happens here, I don't think.
38:07
Right. Yeah, from from the time that
38:10
the falls on Justin. That was upsetting.
38:13
That was like that was deeply upsetting.
38:15
Yeah, like. Potentially my least favorite
38:17
part of the entire movie. Yeah, and it's a very long
38:20
scene. That's another part where
38:22
they're like, OK, we're going to kind of develop a character,
38:24
let's just linger on this fucked up scene for like 10 more
38:29
seconds at least then we need to.
38:31
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the way that they made.
38:34
Oh God, it's just so unrealistic how enthusiastic they make this
38:38
girl and like how heartbreaking it is and how embarrassing for
38:42
everybody. It's just like mean.
38:43
It's like, you know what's even more embarrassing than being
38:46
fat? Not knowing that you're fat.
38:48
Yeah. Like that's kind of the in no?
38:50
World would this girl have been like, I feel safe jumping on top
38:54
of this like stick of a man. She would be like, I'm not this
38:57
is not this is like a safety issue for me.
38:59
I'm not doing that. Yeah, you know what I mean.
39:01
She would no because she spent probably been with this group of
39:06
girls since kindergarten, she would have said.
39:09
Teasing everyone else. She would have said, oh, they
39:12
hate me because I'm fat, why would I be willing to, well,
39:17
first of all, spend any time with them and also not clock
39:20
that they're doing this. Team in the performance.
39:23
At. The end.
39:23
Yeah, exactly. She's also the horsely.
39:26
Person who's fat, who is also confident and happy the entire
39:30
time and then they just like destroy that.
39:33
It's barely. I hated that place so.
39:35
And I almost like 10 seconds skip skip skip through that
39:38
just. Being like and then playing that
39:39
off is like, that's Justin Long's trauma.
39:42
It's like, oh, that's his. That's his like trauma that's
39:46
hard for. They make sound effect when they
39:49
separate the. Two of them.
39:50
Oh my God. Oh, that's like so bad.
39:52
I you don't don't think about a movie's audio mix until you hear
39:56
like a slurp stick RIP. And.
39:59
It's so much louder than anything else that it's it's
40:02
like hearing a sound effect in an 70s or 80s comedy or
40:06
something like it was such or like in the new naked Gun where
40:09
you're like this, so, so you're like, oh, this is a purposeful.
40:14
Like it's a horrible sound. And the fact that like that
40:17
stands out so much compared to the the whole movie.
40:21
It's dodgeball. They're doing this like bad
40:24
sound mixing every time that they throw a dodgeball and it
40:27
hits something. Yeah.
40:28
And the fact that, like, the part that sticks with us is the
40:32
the slurp. Yeah.
40:34
Noise. Yeah.
40:35
The flirt, the slurp stick RIP part.
40:38
That's a perfectly. It's very, it's very telling.
40:41
Very good. Yeah, yeah, very telling of just
40:45
how jarring that specific, yeah. I really was was taken aback by
40:50
how tough the tough watch parts were in the movie because I
40:53
didn't remember anything. I mean, like, ultimately
40:55
everything popped up. I was like, oh, yeah.
40:57
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
40:58
But if you asked me before I rewatched it, what happened, I
41:00
probably wouldn't have even remembered the cheerleading
41:02
story as a whole. 9 minutes. Yeah.
41:05
A lot. Jarring scheduling coincidence.
41:07
I probably wouldn't have like, remembered a lot of the things.
41:10
I don't know if you just sort of like because it ages so poorly.
41:13
You just, you remember the 5DS, you remember Dodger Wrench, you
41:16
remember, oh I also remember Touché this like started a
41:20
touché revolution. Oh my God.
41:22
Touché and I blame Ben Stiller. I do too.
41:25
I want to hold him personally responsible.
41:28
For this touché 2 bacon and mustache pipeline that happened
41:31
in society yeah I think was such a jarring thing was it went from
41:35
the touché to I am lay funny and like the mustache suspenders
41:41
bacon as a personality trait kind of like you're the sons of
41:44
Mumford like energy and. What's the tip of the?
41:47
ICE yes, yes, I think this is what led to the acceptability of
41:51
a unicycle. And that you let us not forget
41:54
the tattoo of a mustache on one's finger to go.
41:57
Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah, I think.
41:59
That there's something to the word because people start saying
42:02
touché like the touché, like, exactly like you said it.
42:05
I remember being into that, thinking it was funny.
42:07
Yeah, and tragic. I believe my own blood is funny.
42:10
Believe my own blood is really funny.
42:12
And but you forget how long every weird, meandering argument
42:15
that was so funny in theaters was, they were all three or four
42:18
lines longer than I thought they should have been.
42:19
Rewatching it, yeah, I was like. Yeah, they lose steam before
42:24
they get to the punchline. Yeah, you know.
42:26
Yeah, yeah, it's a it's, it's really the the pacing of the
42:30
jokes, I think in movies back then and sort of like the
42:34
punching down that was so acceptable when you watch movies
42:37
like like I never, I actually never saw the old Naked Gun, but
42:40
I did just see the new one and I'm like, I don't think they
42:42
punched down at any point. Like it's just stupid quick
42:47
jokes like. You can't punch down at cops.
42:49
Yeah, exactly. If you have qualified immunity,
42:51
it's never punching down. Yeah, because they can punch
42:54
down and not get in trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:56
Turn turn the turn the body Cam off.
42:58
You know, I like, yeah, I kind of agree.
43:02
I think it's ultimately a effect of Vince Vaughn's conversational
43:07
joke nature being put into a physical comedy thing.
43:11
And and it's like like Naked Gun is not everything is tight and
43:17
it's not super riffy and conversationally, but I think
43:19
this time around, this time this movie came out, there's a lot of
43:22
like these long. We've like Zoolander in an older
43:24
movie than this is not really conversational at all.
43:26
You don't feel like anyone is riffing or meandering.
43:29
And they might have, but it feels like if they riffed, they
43:31
stuck with the joke and tightened it.
43:32
And cut it. Totally.
43:33
And it's Vaughn. It's just so much like let it
43:35
roll and like this sort of like long type of like everything
43:39
feels a little bit like that cult.
43:40
The Coldplay scene from Knocked Up where you're like, this is
43:44
kind of like just kind of like going on and on and and it's,
43:47
it's funny and then it's long. You know what I think whenever
43:50
Vince Vaughn walked into a scene in this movie, this played in my
43:54
head. Doom Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo
43:57
Doo Doo. It's dating, you know, long
43:59
strides. An absolute takedown of Vince
44:04
Vaughn. I think they should have done
44:06
something to show that he would be decently athletic.
44:09
Show him like, show him dunk a basketball in the court or
44:12
something where you're like, oh, I needed like a little like we
44:14
saw the softball pitch. Yeah, that made sense.
44:17
Anything to show that he could have beaten any of these,
44:20
actually. So is this mean?
44:21
What this made me think was everyone on earth is bad at
44:24
dodgeball. There's $50,000 at stake.
44:27
Everyone on earth is bad at it. So this team can kind of show up
44:30
and do this like, like sort of like Cinderella runner.
44:33
I need to just like a little bit like he show him doing something
44:38
a little 'cause he's a big guy, right?
44:40
Give me honestly I in my head while I'm watching him like show
44:43
him dunking a ball and you can be like OK, he can move and do
44:46
something. Yeah, right.
44:48
Yeah, he has a Jim. Irredeemable.
44:50
There's literally nothing about him that makes you want him to
44:55
win or that makes it realistic that he would win at anything,
44:59
even to get a single kiss from from anyone.
45:04
There's nothing except the leverage of having the.
45:05
Money, who was watching his dog while he was doing?
45:08
Yeah, it was some that we didn't know what was going on with the.
45:11
Dogs and the dog said. Or the gym.
45:13
Yeah, yeah. Or the gym.
45:14
Yeah, what's going on? Watching gave his shit.
45:16
Did he fix? His car like what?
45:18
Definitely not just. Oh such a piece of shit, I want
45:21
to sue him. And you know that because
45:24
because his now new girlfriend, we can assume he's in, you know,
45:27
he's in a throuple, he's in a polycule.
45:29
Oh yeah, you can assume that like he's going to not continue
45:34
to like not do shit and she because she's a corporate.
45:37
Lawyer income relationship at this point.
45:40
Totally. And so he's just going to keep
45:42
coasting and he's going to be like, well, he didn't take out
45:45
the trash because I don't know how.
45:46
Yeah, yeah. He What is that called?
45:49
Learned. Helplessness, Learned
45:50
helplessness. Weaponized helplessness.
45:52
Learned helplessness. Yeah.
45:53
Yeah, now he has two moms. Yeah.
45:56
So 2 mommies. I hate that I was there.
45:59
I was actually one of these people who, when True Detective
46:02
season 2 cast was announced, thought this was the right fit
46:05
for him because I'm like, he's a, he's a snively conniving,
46:10
like like backroom talk your way out of everything kind of guy,
46:14
which I thought like he had. It's like high up cop energy
46:19
right where you're like, you can talk about everything.
46:21
And then I watch it. I was like, I'm so happy I
46:23
didn't tell everyone. I thought he was gonna be good.
46:25
Just a lot of people so boring. And honestly, I don't even know
46:28
if anyone could have been good with what they're working with.
46:30
Cause Colin Farrell was in it and, and not struggling and
46:32
Rachel McAdams was in it and struggling.
46:35
But you like, I was just like, it was also this time of like
46:37
comedians are kind of killing it in more dramatic things.
46:40
Like you can have. All this sort stuff.
46:41
But then I'm like, you realize, well, he's not really even a
46:43
comedian either. No, no, he's not a comedic
46:45
actor. No, it's just a kind of he's
46:48
just guy swingers. Is when he was the best?
46:51
Yeah. Because he is.
46:52
It is really. Can you talk your way out of
46:54
every situation through the whole thing?
46:56
He feels like someone who should be killed in a a Coen Brothers
47:00
movie. Yeah, 'cause the people can't
47:01
talk their way out of everything in those movies.
47:03
Yeah, that's so true. Oh.
47:04
That would be a great Brad Pitt. In Burn After Reading, You know,
47:08
or yeah, Woody Harrelson in No Country for Old Man.
47:11
I would have loved to have seen the movie A Serious Man, but
47:14
it's Vince Vaughn going through all of that horrible stuff.
47:19
I just couldn't see him getting on a roof.
47:21
That's the problems of how they even get the.
47:22
Poster couldn't even get. He would need some.
47:24
Not because he can't, but because he wouldn't.
47:26
He wouldn't. Step onto it.
47:28
Yeah, we need a cherry picker. It's.
47:29
Too large, he could walk and step onto the roof.
47:33
Yeah, yeah, One thing, OK, So there's a couple other things
47:36
that I that I wanted to make sure that we talked about, one
47:39
of which is how obviously a lot of the dodgeball teams are
47:45
simply a race or ethnicity or from the same country of origin
47:50
of origin. It's like we have we have these
47:52
different categories that are all shown as the same.
47:55
It's like we have the we have like the leather people.
47:59
Yeah, we have average Joes, we have Globo Gym, we have the Girl
48:04
Scouts. And then just as all of these
48:07
people are in categories, we have like Japanese, yeah.
48:11
Yeah, yeah. German the.
48:13
Groups we choose to be a part of.
48:14
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Japanese group.
48:16
German group Urban. The team, Yeah.
48:21
That was tough. But it was nice to see at least
48:23
that much Sean John being worn in one place at one time.
48:26
Someone who worked at Macy's. Absolutely, yeah.
48:29
And in 2004, you got to capture it in that moment.
48:32
Yeah, the only, like, mildly redemptive part of the urban
48:35
team was having one white guy that wasn't Jamie Kennedy.
48:38
That's so true, So true. But even then, being like,
48:42
they're going to pop and lock their way out, you're like, Oh
48:44
my God, they they got a lot of legs out of that sort of thing.
48:47
Yeah, totally. And how now I can't remember the
48:51
actors. His name.
48:52
Who plays he's he's one of the average Joes.
48:56
What's his name? The one black guy.
49:00
Oh, the person who got no actually no character build the
49:03
entire time? Does he have a family?
49:05
Where is he from? Oh wait, he has 2 girls with him
49:07
at the end of it. Totally be like the voice of
49:09
reason, which is such a script cop out like let's make sure we
49:14
have someone to keep this thing on the rails, right.
49:17
But never be fun or have fun. Yeah.
49:19
He. Had a headband that was his
49:21
thing yeah. That it was like each person on
49:24
the average Joe's team had like their thing that made them kind
49:27
of a little freak. It was like either he's like,
49:30
you know, a skinny little nerd who can't get a date or he's,
49:33
you know, a cheerleader who was, you know, who was forced to lift
49:38
a fat person. Once you you have guy who thinks
49:41
he's a pirate, you have. And then it's like and this guy
49:45
these. Are all the Myer Briggs antics.
49:46
Yeah, yeah. Is it?
49:50
Well, his was my R Briggs, but the rest?
49:52
Of course my arm breaks and then it's like OK, and then the other
49:56
one is this black guy, I guess. You know nothing about And then
50:03
at the end is just with two women after they won, I think 2
50:05
of the dancers or something like that.
50:07
And he's just like, he's like, good job guys.
50:10
I'm like, did you ever throw or catch a ball?
50:15
Yeah. Well.
50:15
Yeah, yeah. No, I don't think he did.
50:17
I don't. I don't.
50:17
Remember, I do. Contribution he made.
50:19
It was tall skinny nerd, short skinny nerd, older nerd and all
50:27
got women. Yeah.
50:29
This guy got two women. Two.
50:31
Yeah. Even the woman on the team got a
50:33
woman. Yeah.
50:34
Yeah. Which I I love.
50:36
Every single person on it like ended up getting what they and I
50:39
actually, I thought it was fun that the the tallest skinny nerd
50:43
guy was like super into this woman on the Globo gym team.
50:47
Yeah, I think it's was she also in Zoolander?
50:51
I'm getting a lot of like. I feel like if she wasn't, there
50:55
was definitely like that archetype.
50:57
Yeah, Zoolander of like Eastern European woman who's ugly and
51:01
has a long name cuz. I'm picturing Will Ferrell
51:05
saying like Minka Nitova, Tova Tova.
51:08
So crazy because have you seen like any any Eastern European
51:13
woman is like the most beautiful woman and.
51:16
Never seen an ugly Eastern European ever.
51:18
And yeah, yeah, to be fair, would be amazing, would be great
51:21
at. Dodge, but it would be so hot.
51:23
It's insane. Yeah.
51:24
So I don't know why they chose to make her look like that or
51:28
whatever. I like that they made that guy
51:29
be like, you're the most beautiful.
51:30
I did like that she immediately called him out for staring at
51:32
her. Yeah, I like that.
51:34
She's like, you're staring at me, staring at me.
51:36
Yeah, I'm like, thank you. Yes, it would be weird if you
51:39
didn't notice. Now, finally, someone is telling
51:42
a man your behavior is a little bit weird.
51:44
Yeah. The guy's being named Laser and
51:47
Blazer and Blaze was a funny joke.
51:48
There were like a lot of like little, little jokes of Wiggle
51:51
A. Few little jokes.
51:54
I think it's just it was there's like a lot of just the straight
51:57
it meant from Ben Stiller that was, I don't know, some of it
52:00
you're just so. But I'm just like, this is so
52:02
funny because you're alone serving pizza in your pants.
52:05
This is the odds. This is the optimism that's
52:08
trickled back in years after 911.
52:11
Yeah, you can fuck a pizza again.
52:12
It's OK. Absolutely.
52:14
That's beautiful. I don't think anyone had fucked
52:16
food like that since American Pie.
52:18
It was like 4 years overdue. Still a pie, but a still a pizza
52:22
pie. That's a fuck of the pie.
52:26
Why was there not an Italian dodgeball team?
52:28
It would have been so. Much funny.
52:29
That would have been so much better.
52:31
Yeah, Italian X. They didn't really make any
52:35
references about how like there's 64 or 32 teams from all
52:39
over the world and two of them are from across the street from
52:42
each other. Yeah.
52:43
And are both gyms like this team is all of Europe, Yeah.
52:48
And then 12 of the people are neighbors.
52:51
Yeah. That's such a good point.
52:57
But that's true A. Lot of the joke, I thought a lot
52:58
of jokes still worked really well.
53:00
It was like either like, like I said, like that's super funny
53:03
and would be funny today, or I can't believe they behaved like
53:07
that then. Yeah.
53:08
Yeah, totally. It was like the jokes that
53:11
worked were the ones that were really short.
53:14
Yeah. And often times the ones that
53:16
were very subtle, like the fact that they're players, were named
53:19
Blaze, Blazer and Laser. Yeah, like they they.
53:24
Brought it back later. He's like, they got all sorts of
53:26
Azers on that team, which is like very funny.
53:28
Totally. Yeah.
53:29
But it's like if they would have lingered on that for 5 minutes
53:32
like they did with most other jokes being like, I can't
53:35
believe their names are Blaze, Blazer and Laser.
53:38
Have you ever heard that blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
53:42
blah for another 5 minutes ahead with a wrench?
53:45
With a wrench you can't dodge? I liked so much of the heart of
53:51
it somehow. Yeah, I like them sitting in the
53:53
casino bar. Like, what do we do, boss?
53:55
What do we do, boss? I really like that.
53:57
Sort of feeling. Totally.
53:58
I like the underdog stuff. I'm I I think you could, I would
54:02
watch the save the Community Center like I said, in pretty
54:05
much any sort of funny sport. Same.
54:07
I think inventing the Ocho which is real now.
54:09
Yeah, that. Is Oh my God, is it really?
54:11
Yeah, what? Cornhole is on.
54:13
Yeah, sometimes cornhole be on ESPN too.
54:15
Like, remember, we were watching tag last time we were in Denver,
54:18
actually. We're at a new.
54:21
Tag. We're at a brewery, Wow, in
54:23
Denver of all places, and there was A tag was on.
54:26
Though now that's something you wouldn't expect.
54:28
And I think they just, I think sometimes they call their other
54:30
networks the Ocho as like a, a, a.
54:32
But that's where it originated from.
54:34
Like the vase? Yeah.
54:35
This was it because. People you kept coming out ESPN
54:37
2, ESPN3, the ESPN news and so the joke was like ESPN keeps
54:41
coming out with. New ones, right?
54:43
Wow, way to. Embrace A few forever jokes came
54:45
out of there. The the the theme about bold
54:47
move cotton. Right.
54:49
Blood. Yeah, the Ocho.
54:52
These are like forever jokes. We didn't even talk about the.
54:55
I love that. I did love that team.
54:57
Not having one of those made me upset because theirs was very.
55:00
Funny, this was so. Good, what would they have done?
55:02
But here's the thing. Okay, so we love that and every
55:05
team should have had one. Imagine what they would have
55:07
done it for like the German team, OK, you know, the Japanese
55:10
team maybe. We ohhh, yeah, it would have
55:12
been, absolutely. Horrible.
55:13
Yeah. It's one of the things that I
55:15
had seen before, but it my brother was doing when we were
55:17
kids, my little brother was doing that to people at the mall
55:19
and I was like, you're so funny and random.
55:23
I was like, how do you come up with this stuff?
55:25
You're hilarious. I guess the German team had it
55:27
cause in the Hasselhoff stuff and he really him being their
55:30
actual coach was very funny. That was actually really.
55:32
Worked out really well and then him hitting on Stephen Root's
55:35
wife was all like. That was actually pretty good,
55:37
yeah. I don't want to know what they
55:39
would have done with the Japanese or the urban step up to
55:42
the Yeah. Certainly not.
55:43
That's such a. Fantastic point.
55:45
I think it's great that they didn't explore that.
55:48
Yeah, totally. And the average Joes one would
55:49
have just been. Shrug.
55:51
Or like the do people do this thing still?
55:54
Like. They've been like that, kind of
55:57
like. Or they just, like, publicly
55:59
jerk off and get arrested. Yeah, that's their move.
56:03
Totally. Yeah.
56:04
And then come back and sell out comedy shows a couple years.
56:07
Later yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, someone really sticks their neck
56:10
out for them they're like they were just doing what they knew
56:13
look, they. Never said don't do that You.
56:16
Could've you could've all left at any time?
56:18
Don't Jack off here and if there's not a sign up, you're
56:21
allowed to do. It he never signed anything that
56:24
said in the fine print. I'm not.
56:25
Going to sell or paperwork? Yeah, totally.
56:28
So, you know, Yeah, beautiful. If the jokes still land there.
56:34
Was such a breadth of like types of jokes, whether it's like the
56:38
what I call Vince Vaughny rambly long stuff to like getting
56:42
smashed by the luck of the Irish sign is a naked gun joke.
56:46
Like that is like that is a meta meta joke to then he also
56:50
referenced it and he's like he got killed by two tons of irony
56:53
or whatever. It's like that's like a meta
56:55
joke all the way back to just like long winded things or like
56:58
the physical things and everything like that.
57:00
I also liked that the cheerleader that Justin had to
57:03
replace did fall off the roller coaster and break all of his.
57:06
Bones, honestly, I loved that. Yeah, I did love that.
57:09
I did laugh. I did laugh at that part.
57:11
I did too. Now I forgot.
57:12
I had forgotten about it. And now I remember.
57:14
I like fell off like he how did he fall off?
57:17
Yeah, it. Happened, remember?
57:18
The guy isn't like that. Happens to people every.
57:19
Day. Yeah, the real voice of reason
57:24
there. I.
57:24
Did love the dodgeball sound effects like because you like
57:27
you're saying every dodgeball hit no matter what sounded like
57:29
it was hitting a brick wall? Yeah, absolutely.
57:31
And even when the wrenches hit people, it made a Ting noise as
57:34
though it was hitting something hard, even though it's hitting
57:36
like. Flesh and bone, exactly.
57:38
Yeah. And I.
57:39
Thought that was always funny all the time.
57:41
Dodging traffic I found to be very funny.
57:43
Very funny. It was just like a lot of it I
57:45
found to still be very, very funny, and a lot of it I found
57:47
to just be like, yeah, I'm going to cover my phone from the sides
57:51
on the airplane right now. Right.
57:53
Yeah. I was watching on my iPad, so I
57:55
was just sort of like, don't. Totally right on display with
57:58
those subtitles. Because you have to.
57:59
Yeah, you have. To we were both middle seats,
58:03
one row in front of the other, watching.
58:05
Watching the same movie. Being like two people are
58:09
watching. What are the chances?
58:11
It's not even on our streaming game.
58:13
They downloaded that. They're sitting right behind.
58:15
You you should introduce. He must have seen.
58:17
He wanted to watch, really hit it off.
58:19
We should introduce these people, they might get along,
58:23
these two people like this. It's like 5:30 AM, by the way.
58:27
Like we're just. Oh my God, God bless you guys
58:29
for spending your time on the flight watching this movie.
58:32
Truly, I. Can't imagine.
58:34
It feels like the stakes are. Working better, I mean.
58:36
I can't imagine a different way to have spent that.
58:38
No, I would have felt worse sitting down at home.
58:41
That's so true. That's so true.
58:45
Well, Shoe, is there anything else that we didn't cover?
58:47
Zoolander, what we talked about last time.
58:49
No, we talked you and I talked about that like a long, long
58:52
time ago. Last time we talked about a Coen
58:54
Brothers movie. Which one was it?
58:56
Oh, brother, where are that's really?
58:57
That's what we talked about last year.
58:59
Yeah, nothing's gonna hold up if oh brother Arc, that's our other
59:01
option. Right, if that.
59:02
Could be there ever. Yeah, we're gonna.
59:04
Tell you a hierarchy of the. Rankings.
59:07
Like that about an underdog story.
59:08
Those guys are on the chain gang.
59:09
And. Barely in weird blackface for
59:11
most of the movie. But look, it's also you could
59:15
say, oh brother, why art thou a true underdog story?
59:19
True. Sounds like a line they would
59:20
have said to the one guy on their team with underdeveloped
59:23
characters in this. Movie.
59:25
Also, I think if the if the average Joes had to had to go
59:29
against the soggy bottom boys and again dodgeball, the soggy
59:32
bottom boys probably would. Was Oh yeah, they're good at Bob
59:34
and yeah, they're. Incredible.
59:36
They dip, dive, Dodge Duncan, Yeah.
59:39
They really did. Ohh I can't we lost to the bona.
59:42
FIDE. He's a suitor.
59:46
I love Oh my God I just want sit around quote that movie forever.
59:48
Oh God, you too. Yeah, weird time rewatching it.
59:52
Such a time capsule. Thank you for the opportunity to
59:56
yeah, to course serve and yeah, consider.
59:59
I remember this was a huge resurgence of like you said.
1:00:03
Really annoying trends like the touché, the mustaches.
1:00:08
Joni loves chachi. She didn't.
1:00:10
Understand. I'd explain that it.
1:00:12
Is there was a kid at my school who did not know the original
1:00:15
Joni loves chachi but he thought that line was so funny just even
1:00:20
with no context that he started going by chachi.
1:00:23
His name was Charlie and he started going by Chachi.
1:00:25
Like when she find identity. And Oh yeah, they loved it.
1:00:28
That's incredible. Yeah.
1:00:29
Happy Days probably aged better than this movie if I'm.
1:00:33
Being honest. If we're being honest, yeah.
1:00:35
I thought kissing was called necking because they were like,
1:00:38
we're going to go neck. Did you neck?
1:00:40
So I'm like, did you kiss with necks?
1:00:43
Yeah, your neck, lips. Yeah, yeah, it's.
1:00:45
Kyle's Apple. Kills me.
1:00:51
So, you know, there's some some enduring legacies that we that
1:00:55
we appreciate. Most of them we don't, you know,
1:00:59
if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.
1:01:01
I still think about that sometimes if I'm like jaywalking
1:01:03
and I'm like, oh, I gotta go and say if you can dodge traffic,
1:01:06
you can dodge a ball. That's athletic.
1:01:08
That's incredible. It makes you, when you rewatch
1:01:10
these things from this time, like something like Zoolander
1:01:12
aged so much better than this. Yeah, that you're like, well,
1:01:15
then I am allowed to hold against this.
1:01:17
It's aging a little bit instead of being like, nothing aged
1:01:20
well. And I'm like, actually a comedy
1:01:22
that literally is in the same language in a different font.
1:01:25
Yes. Aged incredibly.
1:01:27
Yeah. I would say even going out there
1:01:29
more with the jokes. Yeah, totally.
1:01:31
Yeah. So final verdict, folks didn't
1:01:35
age well. And it's also not that
1:01:37
entertaining to me, I'm afraid. You said you had fun watching
1:01:42
it. I'm afraid the I was so the
1:01:44
whole time I was like, when's it gonna be over?
1:01:45
It's a. Little somehow feels a little
1:01:47
draggy. I think it's Vince.
1:01:48
Vaughn Yeah. He really, really.
1:01:50
Everything needs to be two more sentences long.
1:01:52
Yeah. Like he has to win the
1:01:54
conversations and it's a movie that's scripted.
1:01:57
Yeah, yeah. How you pulling that off?
1:01:59
Bitch. I have such a problem with that
1:02:05
man, I'm sorry. Me too.
1:02:06
He's so milk toast. It's so disappointing.
1:02:09
To have seen. His he has a family.
1:02:13
OK. All right.
1:02:16
Yeah, you can't really stick your neck out there anyways.
1:02:18
You might get shot. That's so true.
1:02:26
Well, you guys, let's wrap it up here.
1:02:30
Do you want people to find you on the Internet?
1:02:33
Do you have dates coming up? Do you have anything you're
1:02:34
working on that you want to point people toward?
1:02:36
What's going on? You can follow me on the
1:02:39
Internet at Bailey E Norton. I also Co wrote a series on
1:02:44
Nebula called Amy's Dead End Dream House and it should be
1:02:48
completely out by the time this airs.
1:02:50
Shut up. That's so exciting and.
1:02:52
That's what I have going on, my God.
1:02:55
Congrats. That's awesome.
1:02:56
Thank you. Go check those things out.
1:02:57
Yeah, Oh yeah, Kyle's also in this in Amy's dead end dream
1:03:02
house. Great, he wrote.
1:03:03
Wow, what a get. Yeah, Oh my God, can.
1:03:05
You believe that he was my God? She has my W9 on the desktop on
1:03:08
her computer. It's just the dates unfilled
1:03:12
out. Yeah.
1:03:14
Kyle, what's going on with you? Nothing OK, but I'm Kyle Ayers
1:03:18
on stuff and you can find me there.
1:03:20
Yeah. Great.
1:03:21
Are you, are you still doing? Hard to say is that?
1:03:24
Just wrapped was in cool New York for a while, but.
1:03:27
All right. Well, then you guys missed it.
1:03:29
Yeah, y'all missed it. If you're at the High Points
1:03:31
Comedy Festival last week, we'll be there so you can have had
1:03:36
seen me a few times there. Yeah, absolutely.
1:03:39
Well, thank you all so much for listening and thank you guys so
1:03:42
much for coming and talking about this bad movie.
1:03:44
It's sometimes it's like the redeeming part of like you watch
1:03:48
a movie that's bad and you're like, at least I could just talk
1:03:50
about it with my friends. Yes, wild.
1:03:52
They just internalize it and move on.
1:03:54
Yeah, might like get a boil or something.
1:03:58
Yeah. Your body holding it in, it's
1:03:59
like. Dizzy.
1:04:00
Yeah. Yeah.
1:04:01
We don't want to break out in hives.
1:04:02
No. You know, what do they say the
1:04:04
body keeps a score? You know, keeps a score and that
1:04:07
is what dodgeball has about. Sudden death overtime right now
1:04:09
because of a foot foul. It's a bylaw.
1:04:12
And it's a bylaw. Remember that everyone.
1:04:14
Bye. That's what they called her
1:04:17
dating in the movie.