Latest / The Vincere Project / Episode 10. Memorial Day Post Barbecue
Transcript
- Vincent: Back, we're doing it again, the Vincere Your Project. And one is a little ⁓ it's a post-memorial ⁓ podcast. And man, just a great weekend, but that crappy weekend, right? Crappy weather, which always makes me sad because it's not good for you know local friends and family's businesses that you know they depend upon that income and and the revenue. you to start summer get some momentum going for the for for their businesses locally and you know that's okay too and and I think I think that's part of it right but the weather is always favorable right during the holidays it's nicer in the summer helps people the space and the time and time off and with their family and things like that and helps create some of those good memories and weather didn't favor that stuff and just part it. But you know on my end it's Yeah, we're we're we're quite always into this. Episode nine, ten, eleven, twelve, you're coming shortly and closing in on that twenty five percent mark of of my promise to myself and made our first donation ⁓ because I dropped an F bomb talking about effing clapping beavers or something and inappropriate and so sneaky came up. interesting. Maybe somebody heard it, maybe they didn't. I think I mentioned this last podcast. So we donated to David's Dream and Believe they're a friend of ours. They're partners and H-Hour mutually supportive missions, right? it's a local not for profit that serves families that ⁓ that are are dealing with that nasty, nasty illness and disease associated with cancer and ⁓ different types support and resources and money and finding. So it's it's an honor, right? It's like, man, if I'm gonna make a mess up and and apply a consequence to my behavior that has that silver lining 'cause I'm selfish like that, ⁓ I'd rather a donation based on my inability to control my language. Doesn't mean I've conquered it yet in in all of my parts of my life. yet it's coming together nicely a few months into this. So ⁓ Memorial Day is also special too. For for Mary and I years ago, we you know, we had like a sad, sad Memorial Day period. Somebody had died by suicide in our circle and through the rumor mill and how and why and the story gets over inflated to be something it wasn't. It's like, no, you know, like sometimes it's a little more simple than it actually sounds. Yeah, and there's a lot of dilemmas and issues with that. So so that was like kind of a promise we made to each other after that is like, hey, hey, we can be sad about Memorial Day 'cause it's it's sad, right? 'Cause it's it's honoring people that have fallen in battle and and service to the United States of America, to our country. It's intense. It can be overwhelming. And and in that moment we just vowed. We're like, Stay stuck sad. I'm gonna be sad if I need to be, right? There's not saying we're not gonna be sad if we need to be. We're gonna default the other way. So what we did is ⁓ we decided the Moral Day weekend would be like of like a pre-summer counseling statement means end-of-year supportive evo. And ⁓ the beautiful thing in that is it's been productive for us because we do our end-of-year family e-val in December, right? And ⁓ your your gifts 100% pinge upon how well you did as a human being for the service of family. After two years old, my my son just heard two, so now we'll apply that to him now. But ⁓ yeah, that's that's that's kind of just the intensity of our home. But but but saying all that is new memories more days. So so my daughter comes down and and you know she's an adult, we're chatting and we're talking and figuring things out. And ⁓ a two-way street. She's allowed to evaluate and associate, like, hey, how is dad doing a relationship to me? He never she never really goes too far with anyone or anything else, but that's the healthy, safe spot of our relationship. So I ask her, hey, let's go down to get Chick-fil-A. I know you Chick-fil-A and and you know, grab your brother. He likes the chicken nuggets or the soup or whatever, and it'll be golden. ⁓ she goes, she looks right over at me and she goes, hey, you know, dad, I just haven't seen you in a few weeks. I just want to let you know that might not be the best decision. I mean, you might be a bad role model for your son if you're gonna choose to go that way, because you're looking a little fluffy, like through your shirt. Summers around the corner, beach bodies are built in the winter. That's what my dad used to say. So then I start coming up with a whole bunch of excuses in my head. I'm like, ⁓ you know, I was running and the business and like my body kind of shifted. I'm old. And she gave that, she gave that the grace. She's like, you you're 45 times. She's like, you know, like, I just remember what my dad was like when he was 35. know, in healthy ways, right? And ⁓ it's it's a good fun way to tease. And she, you know, she means it though. She means it. She's ⁓ dad, she's like the standard's standard. So like, you know, not being strong and that that's an option choice. And it's not necessarily you have to be the biggest and the strongest dad. It's like you gotta just be the biggest, strongest dad you can be. It's just he sounds a lot like your dad in that sense about like the the little digs and like getting in there, like, hey, I love you enough to be a jerk, right? It's good leadership. dad, you're reflecting back to me something in a version that's just not consistent with what I want. Or how you express or how I know you. And it's I think it's behavioral and I think you can change it. Because if it was something that where there was a limitation, you know, ⁓ fitness and physical health be does become the priority one way or the other. You are gonna have that as a priority. ⁓ it's just better served to make it a day to day to day priority. So for my promise to her was like, I'm gonna get back into CrossFit. I miss some my CrossFit friends. do a little Fran and Graze and Isabelle and you know, all the craziness that CrossFit. But it's the best methodology going. It's the best thing going, bang for the buck. And you know, could I do without some of the gymnastics at this age? Maybe. I don't think there's any muscle ups coming anytime soon. I don't think it's necessary or appropriate. Yet man, the crosswit figured some things out. She's a proponent of that in so much. So, man, that's that's that's just good leadership, right? You model it at home like having hard conversations. What does it sound like? And it's a fun way. It could be a serious conversation done in a fun way, much like anything in life, right? There's not many things that are serious of the serious. You know what I'm saying? Like the past week, and then the big thing is that that happiness about morality. There's a happiness this year. I experienced happiness and I happy moral day to everybody, anyone. Hey, happy moral day. Get the propane, happy moral day. Get the burgers, happy moral day. And ⁓ not because I felt like I was stealing from a memory of anybody that ever fell in battle. And what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like. How the whole family gets to play when a serviceman ⁓ or servicewoman ⁓ falls in battle. These are these are very serious, serious moments and in time-lapse mode, right? Where the emotional state can be imprinted the human psyche forever because it's the sights, the sounds, the intensity, the volume, the heat, the cold, And how the time never never stops. And you know that's an H-Hour principle. number two, time has no replays. And that's where that comes from. So Mary and I resolved ourselves ten years ago to do that and introduce this to Ava as a practice. Because we don't want to be a sad face in December, right? Because I now here, if I'm at like the the 195 train, 200 train, two ten train, two twenty train, two thirty train in terms of weight. And my daughter never said anything in May, and now I'm like two fifty, and she's like, Damn, Dad, you got fat. I'm not gonna receive that well. Now I might get to 250. Like I I could do that. I'm fully capable of that. I love love Tillamook ice cream. them an invoice, they can pay them into your project. But being open and honest with myself and then listening to ⁓ my people that love me and tell me that, hey, I think you can be a little better version. ⁓ know, she she doesn't need to know that in five years when I turn f you know 50, I'm gonna start taking PEDs. You ⁓ it'd be a jack dude at the Lilly Field again. ⁓ Jack dude at her wedding. I wanna I wanna be those things. So yeah, man. Yeah, get her on the podcast. That'll be dynamic. Probably super, super high risk. Yeah, funny as hell because anybody that has a healthy relationship with their kids, man, how's that going? But yeah, happy Memorial Day for me. And this is the post Memorial Day show, end of the week, processing, thinking through some things. And we have ⁓ It's just good to celebrate with good people that are they're the good people that are trying to do good things that are hard and difficult and they're complex. ⁓ you know, complexity sometimes is like why you need good people around is like how much complexity we want to create. And does that create too much friction? We're now that we're we're not actually harnessing the energy or in this case creating the sparks to create the flame and the fire of the bigger thing that we want. And then we send an inferno and then just everything's on fire in that chaos. And I think that sometimes gets normalized as a way to live and I or to be and I think that's an external pressure. And that's just a little glimpse into our conversation. I've got to get him on the podcast. It's like you don't want the external pressures driving your decision points. And you know lot of what him and I are chatting at Memorial Day. I was like, yeah, you're allowed to be whatever you need to be and how you feel. Celebrate, not celebrate, like it's just Monday, I go to work. Whatever you need it to be is important in the story. Not Vince thinks it needs to be for you. I think the beautiful part of it. But what what want to share with you is it's a reminder for me and and Mary is also changing and modifying how we do things and creating new traditions is ⁓ is what Memorial Day and demonstrates is ⁓ much like Murph, right? And that's why it's symbolic for a lot of the military folks and you do a run a mile, do a hundred Pull ups, two hundred push ups, three hundred squats run another mile, you know ⁓ Do it in some sort of cadence or pace that's accelerated beyond what you think you're capable of. And I think it's symbolic of going far beyond what what people believe is possible. The fact that there are humans that are willing to jump on grenades, that are willing to go into buildings that have bombs and guns in them, drive down them, they're willing to cross borders, they're willing to train forever to do these things one time. They're willing to train forever to do this thing one time. Train for 10 years to do a thing one time. Twenty years to do a thing one time. You know, and I think that level of commitment and and and perseverance and and diligence and commitment the requirement for anybody that's trying to do anything difficult. And the military is one version of that. It's just the consequences are dire. And so ⁓ all that my some of the vincisms when I say, Hey, things can be done in a a very playful way, yet they can be serious things. I treat counseling that way. I think coaching, training, I think my business is that. And then there's the other part of it was where serious things need to be done seriously. And I think that's where we get really good and hyper-focused because we can cut away the noise and eliminate the distractions. And the only way to do that is to put ourselves in situations where the distractions are eliminated. So if it requires you to go to the bottom of the ocean or to outer space or to try to circumnavigate the world or or to build a billion-dollar business or or just become an overly amazing dad, right? Like, or mom or or son or daughter, like really take pride in the three. Feet of space that you can control. And that's where the abundance of wealth compounding takes place. You it's not a singular cataclysmic event, ⁓ a host series of events over a longer period of time that also strengthen the relationships and the bonds required to celebrate something as special and ⁓ as the fallen, right? It's a true alignment and agreement that this thing is important. So that's what I find is important for us, you know, is whatever you need to make of it or do with it, but it's happy moral there for Happy and awed and amazed that there's such humans that have ever graced our presence. I'm an us versus them pronoun guy. I believe those are our people. It doesn't mean it's all about apple pie and democracy ever. However, there's something noble and honorable to know that there's people that take massive risk against their own interest, against their own growth and health and safety, in service of something much bigger and greater. And I think sometimes, you know, mass media and social media, and you're drunk. Liberal uncle will try to misguide you or misalign you with how and why That is cool. But ⁓ me, I I think, you know, being committed to your fellow man in the face of adversity and something, that is where people find that calling and passion. Because yeah, I've seen ⁓ what happens when the dinar goes to zero and how civil society is reset and people adjust and align, and it'll come back down to you, faith and religion and sense of purpose and not convenience, right? Because there's nothing convenient when the water, the power, the electric go down and your currency is not worth anything. And so I learned a lot from those experiences and that's what makes me happy about. Days like I went and bought grass-fed burgers and shared them with some people I love and care about. And you know, we had some some store-bought coleslaw, which I'm not too proud about, but it was delicious either way, and and fancy drinks and all that stuff. Non-alcoholic, of course, because that's me. Yeah, I think that's it, man. I think it's happy Memorial Day for me from here on out. Maybe we're not ready for that. But yeah, personal integrity. your donations, do what you're supposed to do, follow through with your word and and you know, just be open to to being guided and and getting feedback and and love, right? 'Cause that's that's what good friends do that. And I use the example of my daughter today is like those aren't fun or comfortable conversations, but they can be done in a playful way as long as we refine and design and agree that the boundaries are in place. There's no rules to that. ⁓ that's the part that's an artistic expression. It takes a high degree of social ⁓ awareness, intelligence, and acuity ⁓ to be able to interact and interface that way. So, you know, my my statement ⁓ for anybody that it feels like they're stuck and need to be sad for for prolonged periods of time, that's okay too. ⁓ ⁓ in it but I would just say that you you know you reserve the right to set time limits to that stuff and and and that's healthy too, right? Like hey moral day I need to be sad. I'm gonna say it isolate shut down watch a war movie. you know that there's nothing wrong with that either man. There's nothing wrong with that either. So man, that's where we're at. Man, summer's here. We're gonna keep going. Enjoy. Thanks listening.