Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / How to Manage a Boss Who Rewrites Everything You Do
Transcript
- Lucas: So we're recording this on a Tuesday, and I just got off a call with a former colleague who's two weeks into a new job at a big consumer goods company. She's already had three assignments rewritten — completely rewritten — by her boss, and she's not alone. This is the boss who can't leave anything alone. Luna: I feel like we've all had that boss. The one where you send a draft, and it comes back with more red ink than original text. But what's the actual harm? I mean, sometimes they're just being thorough. Lucas: Right, and that's the nuance. There are bosses who genuinely improve your work — they catch errors, sharpen the logic, add context. That's coaching. But there's another pattern, and it's more common than people think. It's the boss who rewrites not to make it better, but to make it theirs. Every memo ends up sounding like them, not you. Luna: So how do you tell the difference? Is it just about intent, or is there something observable? Lucas: I think there are three signals. First, the edits are stylistic, not substantive. They change 'begin' to 'commence' and reorganize paragraphs without changing the point. Second, there's no explanation — you just get a revised version back with no comments. And third, the changes don't stick. Your version was already fine, but they need to touch it. Luna: And that need to touch it — where do you think that comes from? Is it just control, or is there something else going on? Lucas: Usually it's a mix of insecurity and accountability. A lot of managers are terrified that if something goes out under their name, they'll be blamed. So they over-correct. But there's also a subtler thing: rewriting your work is a way of asserting dominance. It's a 'I'm above you' move, even if they don't consciously intend it. Luna: And once you're in that pattern, it's hard to break. Because if you push back, you risk looking defensive. If you don't, you become a ghostwriter. Lucas: Exactly. So let's get into what you can actually do about it. I've got three strategies, and they all start with a shift in mindset. The first is to stop treating your draft as finished work and start treating it as a proposal. Luna: Interesting. What does that look like in practice? Lucas: When you send something, add a one-line framing. Say, 'Here's the draft — my goal was to make it scannable for executives, so I kept the summary on top. If you want a different structure, I can adjust.' That does two things. It signals you've made a deliberate choice, and it invites them to give direction rather than just edit. Luna: So you're preempting the rewrite by asking them to think about intent. That's smart. But what if they still just rewrite it anyway? Lucas: That's when you go to strategy two: document the delta. Keep a version history — whether that's tracked changes, a folder with both versions, or a quick summary in your notes. You don't need to be adversarial about it. But when you have a performance review, you want to be able to say, 'In Q3, I produced fourteen reports, and here are the original versions versus the final ones.' Luna: And that's not just for review, right? It's also for your own sanity. Because when you see your work changed, it's easy to spiral into 'maybe I'm not good at this.' Lucas: Right. And the documentation helps with a third strategy, which is the direct conversation. And I know that's the scary one, but you can do it without being confrontational. The key is to ask a question, not make an accusation. Luna: Give me an example of that. Lucas: You wait for a low-stakes moment — not right after they've rewritten something, but maybe a week later. And you say, 'I noticed on the last few projects you've made some structural changes to my drafts. I want to make sure I'm meeting your expectations. Could you walk me through what you're seeing that I'm missing?' That's disarming because it's not 'why did you change this?' It's 'help me understand.' Luna: And if they say something like 'It's just my preference,' you've got an opening to ask a follow-up. 'Is there a style guide I should be following?' Or 'Should I be matching your voice more closely?' Lucas: Exactly. And sometimes the answer is yes. Some bosses do have a very specific house style, and once you learn it, the rewriting drops off. But if they can't articulate what they're changing, then you've exposed the fact that it's not about quality — it's about control. Luna: I want to loop back to something you said earlier about documentation. How do you frame that in a performance review without sounding like you're accusing your boss of something? Lucas: You frame it as a collaborative achievement. You say, 'I've been tracking how we iterate on projects, and I've noticed that my drafts go through a few rounds before they're final. I've learned a lot from that process. One thing I'd love to work on is speeding it up. Is there anything I can do to get closer to a first-pass approval?' Luna: That's very diplomatic. And it puts the onus on them to either explain their process or admit that maybe they're being overly meticulous. Lucas: Right. And it also signals that you're thinking about efficiency, which is a plus. But I want to be careful here. There's a scenario where this behavior is so entrenched that no amount of scripting helps. And that's when you have to think bigger picture. Luna: You mean, is it time to leave? Lucas: That's part of it. But before you jump to that, you might try one more thing — and this is something I learned from a client who worked at a tech startup. She had a boss who rewrote everything, and she started asking for feedback before she even drafted. She'd say, 'Here's the outline, here's my approach. Do you want any changes before I write it out?' And suddenly, the boss was editing outlines instead of finished work, and the changes were more about direction than wording. Luna: So you're moving the intervention earlier in the process. That makes sense. Because by the time you've written a full draft, you're invested in it, and so are they. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the meta-skill here: managing the manager's need for control without letting it crush your own sense of ownership. Some bosses just want to feel involved, and if you give them small opportunities to steer, they're less likely to hijack the whole thing. Luna: You know, there's something about this that reminds me of a study I read — I think it was in the Harvard Business Review — about how bosses who rewrite everything often score high on 'need for closure.' They just want things settled, and a draft feels unsettled to them. Lucas: That's a good lens. And if you can recognize that your boss is driven by a need for closure, you can adjust. You can give them the bottom line upfront, so they feel like it's already settled, and the details are just scaffolding. Luna: I've also seen the flip side — a boss who rewrites because they're insecure about their own role. If they're afraid that you'll make them look bad, they'll sabotage your best work. Lucas: That's a darker scenario, and there's no script for that. If you suspect that's the case, then your documentation becomes even more important. You need a paper trail — not for a lawsuit, but for your own career. So that when you're interviewing for the next job, you can talk about your accomplishments with confidence, because you know what you actually did. Luna: And that's a good point to bring up the fact that we're ad-free. We keep this show going because we love doing it, and the only reason we can keep it ad-free is that listeners who find it useful chip in. If that's you, the link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a small way to keep this kind of conversation alive. Lucas: Yeah, and we're not going to be precious about it. It's a if you feel like it, great. If not, no worries. But it does help us keep the lights on, and it means we don't have to do ad reads in the middle of a conversation like this. Luna: Anyway, back to the topic. So we've talked about strategies for the moment — framing, documentation, direct questions, moving earlier in the process. What's the one thing you'd want listeners to take away? Lucas: I think it's this: your work is yours, even when it's your boss's name on the final version. You have to find a way to preserve a sense of ownership, or you'll burn out. And that might mean being more strategic about how you present your drafts, or it might mean having a tough conversation. But it's worth it. Luna: And if you've tried all that and nothing changes, it might be time to look elsewhere. Because a boss who can't let go is going to cap your growth eventually. Lucas: That's the honest truth. There's a difference between a boss who challenges you and a boss who erases you. And you need to know which one you have. Luna: Well, on that note, I think we've given people a lot to think about. Next week, we're going to tackle the boss who won't stop 'just checking in' — the constant ping of status updates that never seem to end. Lucas: Oh, that's a good one. Until then, keep your head up and your drafts documented.