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The Farron Dozier Show · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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None. You're listening to the Ferran
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Doze Show on KCAA Radio One O 6.5 FM, 10:50 AM in the Inland
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Visit ferrand.com For more information.
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All right. Good morning.
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Welcome to the front Dozier show right here on NPR Network.
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This is my second episode, so I'm, you know, glad to be here
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to be able to share with you what's going on in the world
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today around just veteran conversations.
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But mainly today I'm just going to do Part 2, introducing myself
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to the network. If you need to catch the
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previous episode of part one, you can go to the NBR radio dot
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US network website, the app and you can catch or the audio or
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the video either way. But again, today I just wanted
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to kind of reintroduce myself, share who I am.
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So as you begin to listen to me and have ideas of wanting to be
2:54
a guest or have topics that you want to talk about, you can feel
2:58
free to reach out to me. I'm, I'm, I'm easy going kind of
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laid back, pretty decent nice guy I believe and just want to
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you know be able to talk to my veterans.
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I actually got into radio truly because of wanted to stay
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connected to my my veteran community when I retired out of
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the military now 10 years ago. And so this has been a a
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passion, a love being able to connect with people.
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One of the things I shared is that, you know, a lot of times
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as veterans we don't think that civilians understand us and
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sometimes we label one another. And so I'm here to disappear
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that conversation around how we are related as human beings,
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right? And if you really are willing to
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take a look and and set aside your opinions about who you are,
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maybe you could get connected to other people.
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And so today I'm going to share with you about my belief
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systems. And I just want to know, you
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know, pose a question to you as you listen to this.
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Where did you develop your belief systems from?
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You know, a lot of times we get it from TV, movies, our family,
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our environment. Sometimes it's a lot of trial
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and error, you know. So my question to you is where
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did you get your belief system from and and why do you believe
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it? Like have you questioned it
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lately? I had to question my belief
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system about 13 years ago and I realized that the 1st 40 years
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of my life just really wasn't what I thought.
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And as I got older, as I got more knowledge and understanding
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and revelation from my life and what what I wanted to be and who
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was who I was being and what I was doing in life, some of those
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things that I believed in, in the past didn't fit who I was
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that day or now today. And so I'm still peeling off
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these layers of my experience of life and who I say that I am,
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not just who people tell me that I am.
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And so it's going to be very important for you to sometimes
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self examine. It takes a lot.
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It takes a lot to tell the truth about ourself.
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It's challenging for human beings to tell the truth to
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ourselves and to other people. So I'm, I'm going to ask you
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today as you listen to take this journey with me for this next,
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you know, less than an hour and let's just let's just have a
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conversation. I appreciate you if you're
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watching on Instagram or TikTok, again, thank you for tuning and
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listening in, for taking time out.
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Whether you watch this live or later, I'm very appreciative of
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the MBR network to bring my show here on Tuesdays at 10:00 AM
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Pacific Time, 1300 Eastern Time. That's 1:00 PM for you civilians
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out there. And so let's just get into it,
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right? So as I shared with you, you
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know, as I transitioned out of the military, even today I still
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have a lot of those military mindsets, right?
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And guess what? They're not going to go away.
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Like the training that we go through in the military, it
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becomes a part of who we are as a person.
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It becomes a part of the fabric of how we think and operate.
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And what I learned is some of the things that I learned in the
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military don't work in my in other aspects of my life, they
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don't. But I had to recognize it.
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I'm a very analytical person. I can analyze real well, but I
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had to do that in the military. It's also part of my nature as a
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person. I ask questions, but when I got
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in the military, it enhanced that skill, especially coming up
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through the ranks, being a platoon Sergeant, like you're
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responsible for a lot of lives, right?
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And so being able to analyze and and and and make sure that
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before those soldiers get to that location that you've been
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able to go out there and do a risk assessment, right.
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It's all about safety, safety first, safety first.
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So sometimes that didn't work in my other aspects of my life
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because people would say, man, you analyze everything.
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Like why do you analyze so much? But you know what instead of
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resisting that, I owned it. And so I recognize today when
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it's when it's important to analyze situations and when it's
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cool for me to just give up my view and my opinion of myself or
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what people are saying in a conversation.
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So I have some a couple videos I want you to watch and listen to
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and just listen to the process of a a lot of our world, our
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world beliefs. If you look in the world, where
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where are they coming from? A lot of it is a lot of Greek
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philosophy, a lot of thinking. Plato, Aristotle, like a lot of
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these laws, a lot of the government systems, even the
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democracy is of Greek philosophy.
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Our country is ran off of dead men's ideas.
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It's not right or wrong, but if you understand where the beliefs
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of this country come from, whether you agree with them or
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not, sometimes when you do that research for yourself, you get a
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better understanding and then you get to see how the world
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functions and how it navigates and then you can find peace in
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the world. But you have to be willing to do
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that work. So this first one is going to be
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a clip just talks about this is this is kind of the space that
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I've been in the last 13 years, right when I was in, in my dark
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space of depression and anxiety and suicide ideation.
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And then being able to find some education and discover that, you
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know, what life is a is is not the way that I've been seeing
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it. Like there's a whole nother
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aspect of life. There's a whole nother view of
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life. And my example is, imagine
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you've been wearing yellow sunglasses.
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You ever wore tinted sunglasses like yellow ones.
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Imagine you've been wearing yellow sunglasses and then one
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for for say for like 10/15/20 years, you've been wearing
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yellow sunglasses. And then all of a sudden one day
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you take those yellow sunglasses off and you realize, hey, it's
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not really that bright outside. And maybe some of the colors
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that you've been looking at through that yellow tint is a
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different color. You know, we describe it.
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People say we're looking at life through different filters,
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through different lenses, but that's the end result.
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My question is where you where, where did those lenses come
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from? Where did those views come from?
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And sometimes as you get older, as an adult, you might have to
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go back and rethink some of those ideas, even about
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yourself. We're not going to talk about
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people first. We're going to talk about the
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interpersonal relationship that it takes to self examine and
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discover that who we are or who we say that we are not of our
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past. So I'm going to share my screen
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for those of you who are watching and I'm going to just
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pull up this first video and I want you to just take a listen.
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I want you to listen to what the conversation is about.
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The algaree of The Cave. Let's play this right here on
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the front Dozier show in network.
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Let's see. What is reality?
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Knowledge. The meaning of life.
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Big topics you might tackle figuratively explaining
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existence as a journey down a road or across an ocean, a
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climb, a war, a book, a thread, a game, a window of opportunity,
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or an all too short lived flicker of flame. 2400 years
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ago, one of history's most famous thinkers said life is
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like being a chained up in a cave, forced to watch shadows
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flitting across a Stonewall. Pretty cheery, right?
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That's actually what Plato suggested in his Allegory of The
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Cave, found in book seven of the Republic, in which the Greek
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philosopher envisioned the ideal society by examining concepts
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like justice, truth, and beauty. In the allegory, a group of
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prisoners have been confined in a cavern since birth with no
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knowledge of the outside world. They are chained, facing a wall,
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unable to turn their heads, while a fire behind them gives
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off a faint light. Occasionally, people pass by the
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fire, carrying figures of animals and other objects that
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cast shadows on the wall. The prisoner's name and classify
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these illusions, believing they're perceiving actual
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entities. Suddenly, one prisoner is freed
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and brought outside for the first time.
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The sunlight hurts his eyes, and he finds the new environment
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disorienting when told that the things around him are real.
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While the shadows were mere reflections, he cannot believe
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it. The shadows appeared much
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clearer to him, but gradually his eyes adjust until he can
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look at reflections in the water, at objects directly, and
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finally at the sun, whose light is the ultimate source of
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everything he has seen. The prisoner returns to The Cave
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to share his discovery, but he is no longer used to the
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darkness and has a hard time seeing the shadows on the wall.
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The other prisoners think the journey has made him stupid and
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blind and violently resist any attempts to free them.
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Plato introduces this passage as an analogy of what it's like to
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be a philosopher trying to educate the public.
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Most people are not just comfortable in their ignorance,
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but hostile to anyone who points it out.
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In fact, the real life Socrates was sentenced to death by the
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Athenian government for disrupting the social order, and
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his student Plato spends much of the Republic disparaging
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Athenian democracy while promoting rule by philosopher
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kings with The Cave parable. Plato may be arguing that the
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masses are too stubborn and ignorant to govern themselves,
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but the allegory has captured imaginations for 2400 years
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because it can be read in far more ways.
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Importantly, the allegory is connected to the theory of Forms
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developed in Plato's other dialogues, which holds that,
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like the shadows on the wall, things in the physical world are
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flawed reflections of ideal forms such as roundness or
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beauty. In this way, The Cave leads to
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many fundamental questions, including the origin of
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knowledge, the problem of representation, and the nature
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of reality itself. For theologians, the ideal Forms
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exist in the mind of a creator. For philosophers of language
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viewing the Forms as linguistic concepts, the theory illustrates
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the problem of grouping concrete things under abstract terms.
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And others still wonder whether we can really know that the
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things outside The Cave are any more real than the shadows.
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As we go about our lives, can we be confident in what we think we
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know? Perhaps one day a glimmer of
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light may punch a hole in your most basic assumptions.
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Will you break free to struggle towards the light, even if it
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cost you your friends and family?
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Or stick with comfortable and familiar illusions, Truth or
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habit? Light or shadow?
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Hard choices. But if it's any consolation,
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you're not alone. There are lots of us down here.
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All right, so that's just one. I got one more for you to watch.
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Check this one now. Hey, Veron, can you hear me?
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Yeah. Hey, there's there's like, no
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sound. You can't there.
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The video's not playing or anything.
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It is. You can't hear it.
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No, I can't hear it. You hit, You have to hit play.
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I did. It's playing.
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OK. Let me refresh.
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All right. Again, welcome back.
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So as I was sharing about this whole philosophy thing, those
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are the some of the videos that I had discovered in my journey
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of watching and listening and just really kind of developing
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myself, right. So I had to at some point figure
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out what are my new belief system, What I'm what is my new
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philosophy, what, what else do I like?
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What am I? What do I care about?
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Like, I really got to figure out who Ferran is today, especially
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after coming out of the military, especially after being
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in the service and trying to figure out what is my what's my
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what's next. Because I had made coming out of
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the military that my life was over.
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And I really believe that my life was over coming out of the
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military. Like, I truly believe that.
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And I even collected evidence that my life was over.
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And then I found radio. I found this education.
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I started, you know, being interested in in in my thought
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process and my emotions and my feelings.
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And as I discovered so much about myself that was just so
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corrupted, I could tell the truth to myself, that some of
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the thoughts and feelings and emotions that I had just wasn't
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the truth anymore. And so I had to start looking at
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how am I going to live, you know, this life today.
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And so for me, I broke my I broke my perspectives up into
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three different categories. Now, some of us look at
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perspectives, perceptions, and interpretations.
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None of those are wrong for you. Like your reality is your
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reality, but it's your reality. It's not.
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It may not be the other person's reality, because a lot of times
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how we talk, a lot of times we describe life to the point that
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how we describe it is the truth. But you can have five people
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looking at that same description, and they might
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describe it from a different perspective, of how they view
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it, from their different angle, from how they learn how to
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describe life and how to talk. That doesn't make anybody wrong.
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It just allows us to learn from each other, connect to one
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another, which is what we really want at the end of the day,
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human beings, we want to belong, and that sense of belonging is
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an emotional charge. You're being put on punishment
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or told to go stand in the corner like that is the worst
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thing you can do to a child. It's go stand in the corner, go.
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You're on punishment. How about go to jail, right?
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When you're excluded from society, from your family, or
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you feel like you're excluded, it becomes an emotional charge,
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an emotional wound. And sometimes the way that brain
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functions, if we don't have all the information, that
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subconscious mind will fill in the blanks to make it make sense
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to us. And then now that truth becomes
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your truth and not the truth that actually happened.
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And if you're a parent, imagine that that's what's happening to
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your child at a very young age, early on in age as adults.
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Imagine we live from those views as adults and we act them out.
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So that sense of belonging, you've got to discover what it
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is for you. A lot of us don't feel like
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we're part of our own families. A lot of us feel like we're the
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black sheep or I don't belong or I'm different.
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But have you ever stopped to question where those thoughts
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are coming from? There's work.
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You heard the word ignorance. I'm an advocate for sickle cell
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trait. We I'm, I'm out to disappear the
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ignorance about that inherited gene.
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But sometimes you tell you tell somebody that they're ignorant.
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Man, you you might just start a fight with.
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That's like a curse word. If you tell somebody that
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they're ignorant, But what does ignorant mean?
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It just means that you have a lack of knowledge.
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It's not a curse word. It's not a bad thing.
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But our words, our language, is so powerful and our belief
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system are so strong that it protects us.
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Ultimately, I don't want to look bad.
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Even though I know I'm wrong. I don't want to look bad, so
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I'll be right. Can you tell the truth to
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yourself like that? I discovered a few times that
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that's how I was being as a person.
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Even though I was wrong, I wanted to be right and I behaved
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as such. So my first pillar that I live
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from, I call it my ideology and and I my for me, ideology is
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where does my what. I had to look and see where do
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my thoughts come from? Like why do I think the way that
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I think? Why do I want the things that I
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want? Why do I behave the way that I
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behave. So I had to go and look for what
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my ideology was for myself. Here's an example how I describe
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my ideology. If you play baseball, you might
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understand this very well. So in as in baseball, the Empire
26:27
calls that pitch a ball or a strike.
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No matter what the coach or the pitcher or the fan say that
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pitch was. It doesn't mean anything until
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the Empire calls it so. The umpire of the of a baseball
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game, when that ball comes across that plate, it does even
26:50
once. Once it it gets in that
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catcher's Mitt. That pitch doesn't mean anything
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until the umpire calls it. And if he calls it a ball, it's
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a ball. If he calls it a strike, it's a
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strike. No matter what anybody has to
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say in that stadium, no matter what anybody, the coach, the
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players, pitcher, nobody gets to say in that pitch once it
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crossed that plate but the umpire.
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So I'm saying, imagine if you live your life like the umpire
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of that baseball game, imagine that you give meaning to your
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life, not letting people tell you what it means.
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That's different. It's allowing people to say,
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hey, you know, Efron, you should do this, you should do that.
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Hey, you know what? Why?
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Why do you think I should do it like that?
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What makes you say that? Ask more questions.
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Let them tell you what they see. You might get some insights.
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You might find out something that you didn't see.
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It might be a consequence that they're sharing with you so that
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you might avoid, you know, being disappointed or being upset or
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being frustrated in the decision making process.
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But what I've learned also is sometimes when people give you
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their views and their opinions, sometimes it's because they love
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you, because they care about you.
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A lot of times our parents just loved us.
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They wanted the best for us. They wanted to make the
28:12
corrections. They didn't want their our life
28:15
to turn out like their life. They wanted to help us navigate
28:18
these mistakes. But sometimes we want to make
28:23
our own decisions and our own choices, which is not right or
28:25
wrong. However, however, what do you
28:32
make that mean about you? Do you make that mean that
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you're not good enough? That you're not worth it.
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See in your ideology, in your ideas of yourself, not of your
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ideas of other people, but ideas of yourself.
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What does that mean to you? When someone says something,
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what are you making mean about you?
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I had to do that. I had to start at 40 years old.
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I had to start looking at what life meant to me about me.
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And some of the things that I even made-up about myself wasn't
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true. And then to be honest enough to
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tell myself that, hey, you know what, that's not who you are,
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man. That's not only who you are.
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Maybe that's who you were back then, but that's not who you are
29:21
today. And I believe that's very
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important for us as veterans in this mindset, that we have
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someone somewhat similar to athletes.
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Like that identity sometime is attached to who we are.
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No matter what people do, no matter what they say.
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I'm, I don't think I'm handsome, but I would have people in my
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life tell me that I was a handsome guy.
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And just because they told me that doesn't mean that I
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believed it because I had another view of myself.
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Even today, I it took me a long time, you know, a couple of
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years to just start to be able to accept compliments.
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But it was all about how I saw myself first.
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That's what matter. I don't care what you say about
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me. And have you noticed that that
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that affects people? You can tell a person you're
30:14
great, you're doing great, but they'll deflect it without none.
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I'm not. You know, they'll they'll
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deflect that. But why is that?
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Because maybe there's something in their own view of themselves
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that disempowers them, that's a feeling of diminishing, of
30:30
themselves. And I'm just an advocate for
30:34
this. I'm not a psychologist.
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I'm not none of that. I'm not in none of that medical
30:37
practice. But I'm advocating for, for this
30:41
kind of a life, for our for our veterans, for our children, for
30:45
our athletes, for people. And if I discover this for
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myself, as you saw in those videos, it's possible that you
30:56
might be able to discover it for yourself.
30:59
And imagine we shift that conversation in the world our
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our houses, our households change.
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Our community changes. Our society changes.
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Then the world can change. And if you don't like change,
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maybe it'll alter. Maybe just altering your
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behavior just a little bit in one area opens up another way of
31:18
being for you to be free to express yourself.
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So my ideology came from cognitive behavior.
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CBT as as as veterans, we have access to a lot of mental health
31:31
programs at the VA and let me tell you, it took me a lot.
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It took me some time, but I end up going to the VA and I end up
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signing up for the cognitive behavior class.
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And let me tell you, I'm so glad I did because that education,
31:48
those principals in that CBT cognitive behavior, it allowed
31:52
me to examine my thoughts, how I talk.
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Sometimes we describe life in such an exaggerated fashion by
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saying all or none or I don't trust or I don't this and and it
32:08
gives you no freedom to look at life another way, just by how
32:15
you talk and how you think. But that education from the VA,
32:20
the kind of behavior the CBT taught me, how I can grab those
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thoughts, examine them in my head, put them up against
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something outside of myself, and examine those thoughts and look
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at them for what they are. Is this a constant way that I
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think, is this exaggerated? And then I can tell the truth.
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Then I can tell the truth to myself.
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And maybe instead of saying all or none, I could say, well, you
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know, 50% of the time, 6% of the time, 30%.
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Now I'm putting a different kind of language to it as a
32:58
percentage because now I can at least be honest with my all alls
33:03
or nothings. They're no longer alls or
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nothings. There's 50% of the time that I
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don't trust myself, just 50% of the time I don't trust people.
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It's not 100. But it depends on you though.
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It depends on you. If you're willing to look at
33:22
your ideology and where your thoughts really come from.
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And that that class at the VA helped me tremendously,
33:30
tremendously. All right.
33:34
So again, you're tuned into the Ferrand Doze show, MBR Network.
33:39
I really appreciate you. This is my second episode here.
33:42
I'm going to play a couple of public service announcements for
33:45
you and then I'll get back into the second-half of the show to
33:49
wrap up my ideologies and just kind of give you a sense of of
33:53
what I'm what else I'm up to when I'm not here on the air
33:57
with you. This is the front dose show on
33:59
KCA Radio, MBR radio as well. You're listening to the Ferrando
34:03
They show on KCAA Radio 106.5 FM, 10:50 AM in the Inland
34:09
Empire. Also streaming from the KCAA,
34:11
radar.com website, MBR Radio, TuneIn Radio, Pandora, Google
34:17
Play Blog, Talk Radio, iHeartRadio Podcast, Stitcher
34:22
and Amazon Radio. Just to list a few.
34:24
Oh yeah, and the streaming videos are located at Tiki Live
34:27
or rumble under the Ferrando's A Show.
34:30
Catch us Live or catch us on the archives at Ferrando's A Show.
34:34
Shout us out. What's to count?
34:35
Visit qurand.com For more information.
34:46
Some of us still carry the burden of battle.
34:49
It threatens to drown us in our everyday lives.
34:52
In battle we had our weapons and combat gear to keep us safe, to
34:56
keep us confident. But when we returned home, we
35:00
were not armed with weapons and gear to cope with our own minds.
35:04
I was lucky to find my combat gear, my mental weapon and it's
35:08
called Kalmago. Kalmago is a drug free device
35:12
that allows you to achieve calm in less than 3 minutes and
35:15
moments of anxiety, stress, anger, panic or insomnia.
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Not with medication, but rather by activating the
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parasympathetic nervous system through breathing regulation and
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multi sensory stimulation. A recent study has shown that
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komego decreases PTSD and anxiety levels in veterans,
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helping those who are suffering and having a long lasting
35:36
effect. Visit komego.com to learn how
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you can get Komego through the VA or with a special veterans
35:43
discount code. Hey, what's up man?
36:01
How you doing? Did you see the game last night?
36:07
Did you see the shot? Oh man, the shot was old.
36:16
Man, you really want to know? I do.
36:26
Exhaustion muscle spasm, asthmatic issues, unexpected
36:31
sickle cell trait crisis. Damn.
36:33
Are you serious? When I was young, I found out I
36:36
had sickle cell trait. My mom's told me, but I ain't
36:39
had no knowledge of it. But when I got older, I had a
36:41
child. The doctor told me my daughter
36:42
has sickle cell trait. Do you know the fact that both
36:45
panels have sickle cell trait? There's a 50% chance the child
36:48
may have to trait and 25% share at the time to have the disease.
36:52
And that's what's the count. Do you know that 2.5 million
36:55
people in the United States have sickle cell trait?
36:57
300 million people globally? I didn't find out I had sickle
37:00
cell trait till I was in the army 10 years.
37:02
Next thing you know, I had a sickle cell trait exertion site.
37:05
I thought that was a black gene or something.
37:08
Nah, man. The black community is number 21
37:10
out of 36,000 babies are being born with sickle cell disease.
37:14
You could be Caucasian, Mediterranean, European.
37:16
You don't know your bloodline. There is an inherited gene in
37:22
our community that has been forgotten.
37:24
The name is Sickle Cell Trait. WDCONSCT, also known as What's
37:29
the Count? Is out to bring awareness,
37:31
education and prevention to people all over the globe.
37:34
Want more information? Call us now at 323-215-5384 or
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visit www.wdconsct.org. Zatovia Salve made from natural
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at botanicaherbalco.com. BOTANICAHERBAL co.com.
38:18
Botanicaherbalco.com So I had an opportunity to meet Doctor Sabi
38:28
in 2013. I actually sat right next to him
38:33
and that's one of his products that I use, that that salve.
38:36
And so Doctor Sabi man talk about some knowledge.
38:42
He just found ways to use those herbs and he cured a lot of
38:47
people from a lot of different diseases.
38:50
And I had an opportunity to sit next to him and talk to him
38:52
about sickle cell trade and sickle cell disease.
38:55
And he just opened up with a whole bunch of other
38:58
conversations about diseases and just how the body functions.
39:02
So, so important for us to take care of our health.
39:05
And as well with Kamigo, I use that device.
39:08
Here's my device right here. I don't want to take any
39:11
medications. I don't want to do.
39:13
I took, I took drugs before and I just felt like a zombie and I
39:17
just did not want to live my life like that.
39:20
I knew I had some mental toughness, like I I played
39:23
basketball, so I knew I had some some mental toughness in there.
39:26
But this, this transition out of the military was a little bit
39:29
different than I had ever experienced before in my life
39:32
and I just didn't want to walk around like a zombie of how I
39:36
felt. So I took education and then
39:41
recently I found comic a couple years back now about a year or
39:44
so ago. And so I believe in those
39:47
products that I share. So let's get back to this
39:51
philosophy. So we talked about our ideology.
39:55
If you're just tuning in make sure you watch the repeat of
39:58
this as I'm sharing with you the three pillars that I'm that I
40:01
live my life from up against. So now I challenge my thought
40:05
process up against those cognitive behavior principles
40:09
that I learned. And I'm I'm always looking for
40:11
the exaggerated thoughts that I have, cause a lot of my thoughts
40:15
are exaggerated. And and and they're so
40:17
exaggerated that I won't even take an action because I'll end
40:21
up being like, like, why bother? Because of how I think about
40:24
myself. And then you project that on
40:27
other people. So my philosophy, here's my
40:30
philosophy, it says that a plane in autopilot self corrects.
40:38
Now if you know airplanes, you've been on an airplane, they
40:41
can put that bad boy in autopilot, right?
40:44
So I plane and autopilot self corrects.
40:47
It's never on course. Live life like the auto
40:51
correcting system. Live life like the auto
40:57
correcting system of the airplane that self corrects.
41:02
That's never on course. Sometimes in life you are just
41:04
we're not on course. Sometimes we're thinking and
41:07
we're doing behaviors and we're not on course.
41:10
But what are you using? Your your your belief system up
41:15
against outside of how you feel and think and concerns and
41:18
worries about life. What are you challenging those
41:20
up against outside of you to get back on course?
41:25
Like that's a different way to live.
41:28
Yeah, you you have the right to do and be whatever you want to
41:32
be. Nobody's anything against that.
41:37
But if you do that and you be that kind of person, and you go
41:40
home and you're still questioning who you are as a
41:43
person, are you questioning your behavior or you're questioning
41:47
why you feel you're not being fulfilled or you feel diminished
41:49
of yourself? Some of us do that.
41:53
I still manage these things today.
41:56
I'm not. It's not a cure.
41:57
Sometimes these are going to be these are lifelong journeys.
42:02
But if you don't start to interrupt your thought process
42:04
and really challenge how you think and look at life, some
42:09
people never discover it and some people, people die lost or
42:15
that experience of being lost or stuck.
42:18
So my philosophy is a plane in autopilot, self corrects, it's
42:24
never on course live life like the auto correcting system.
42:29
And I found that to be an education, personal development
42:32
course. And so at 40 years old when I
42:35
took that education, I challenge up.
42:37
I challenge everything that I could think of at that class.
42:42
And I discovered that maybe there was some of my beliefs
42:46
that was just so wrong. I grew up thinking that I was
42:50
abandoned. A lot of us feel like we've been
42:53
abandoned by our parents, by situations and and we have
42:57
evidence. We got proof.
42:58
I had enough proof to think that I was abandoned, but guess what?
43:03
40 years, 3538 years later I realized that that just not was
43:10
not a true statement. It wasn't a true story.
43:13
And the thoughts of what a what A 8 year old.
43:16
See, check this out. An 8 year old has really no
43:19
sense of time, No sense of time. So being at home for 90 minutes
43:26
by myself after school for 8 year old felt like 20 hours.
43:32
And the way that I shared that with my psychologist, he was
43:37
like, I would have called the CPS on your parents.
43:39
The way that you told this story to me in the beginning, because
43:44
the way that I described that story, how I thought about it,
43:49
how it made me feel who I had to be to survive that abandonment,
43:53
Do you know what kind of person people become to survive being
43:55
abandoned? The experience of it, if it's
43:58
true to them, just look in the world, just look in how people
44:05
behave. Some people grew up, you know,
44:09
fast. We had to become adults at 1213
44:13
years old, taking care of our siblings because our parents had
44:16
to work. That wasn't mine.
44:18
I was the oldest, so I had to come home by myself.
44:21
So my abandonment was a little bit different.
44:23
But some people even who had to raise their siblings, there's
44:28
some resentment, there's some upset there because they feel
44:32
like they missed out on their childhood, that they had to do
44:34
all these responsible things as an as adults did as a child.
44:39
And then you carry that and then you walk around with that on
44:42
your in the background of your thought process.
44:47
How does that affect you? So I had to go and figure out
44:51
another, figure out how what my belief system was working and my
44:55
philosophy was corrupted. It was truly corrupt.
44:59
I could tell you the truth that it was corrupted my perceptions,
45:03
my interpretations, my perspectives up against that
45:06
education it challenges. And there was some things that I
45:10
said that, OK, I can't, I can't even believe that anymore.
45:15
Like, I can't even believe that about myself anymore.
45:17
I can't believe that about my mom, about my dad, about my
45:20
friends. Like, I can't believe that
45:22
anymore. But I was 40.
45:28
The confidence and the courage it took to then to tell the
45:31
truth about my thoughts, my deepest secrets and emotions
45:37
about how I view life. Guess what?
45:39
I had to tell the truth, by the way.
45:41
Hey, I've been that that I've got some stories.
45:45
That's not true. And I've got to make the
45:47
corrections. I had to go back and do damage
45:49
control because it did impact people in my life.
45:56
And so how can, how can we move forward in life if we're still
45:59
carrying some of these emotions, these feelings, these just
46:04
corrupted truths that may not be the truth about who you are as a
46:07
person? It takes something to not to try
46:13
to not look bad, to look good, to be accepted, to be liked, to
46:19
be loved, to be friends with people.
46:23
Guess what? Everybody's not going to like
46:25
you. They're not going to love you.
46:27
They're not going to be want to be your friend.
46:28
Everybody's not going to want to talk to you.
46:31
That's just that's that's life. But to be confident enough to
46:37
say, oh it's OK, you want to be my friend, it's OK.
46:40
But at an early age, imagine we could teach this to our children
46:43
early so that this the social issues that we're dealing with,
46:47
they don't get impacted by it. The self-reliance, the self
46:51
esteem, the self love, the self courage.
46:54
I'm rebuilding all that at 53. I'm rebuilding my own self
46:59
esteem, my own self love, the last three years, my own
47:07
self-confidence. Like no one's going to fill that
47:13
void. Only you can fill those voids
47:16
and it's going to take something outside of yourself.
47:20
And those are the kind of talks we're going to have here.
47:23
If you want your comedy specials and all that, you can go watch
47:26
that wherever you get that from. But like those conversations on
47:31
those videos, I'm just not going to leave people in the dark.
47:36
I'll make it fun and as light as possible.
47:39
But this is real life. A veteran takes their life every
47:42
65 minutes. I don't see anything funny about
47:46
that. So someone has to have these
47:51
tough conversations with some love and compassion, some
47:54
listening. I'm willing to do that.
47:55
I'm willing to be that kind of person.
47:58
Then we can go watch some comedy somewhere else.
48:00
But people's lives are at stake. People's families, people's
48:05
relationships, that sense of belonging is important, and no
48:11
one is going to feel that emptiness inside of you.
48:14
No one can feel that void. If they do, it's temporary.
48:17
And as soon as they're not doing it, then it's gone.
48:21
And guess what? That person can never feel that
48:24
void. That spouse, that girlfriend,
48:26
that boyfriend can never feel that void.
48:28
Every day, every moment. They couldn't do it enough.
48:32
They couldn't call you enough. They couldn't say I love you
48:35
enough because one day they're not going to say it and then
48:38
you're going to bring it up. Like those are the voids that we
48:41
have and we can make those corrections if you're willing to
48:46
look at it. So that's my philosophy, my
48:51
theology. Now I grew up in church Baptist,
48:56
however you want to call it receive the Holy Spirit at a
49:02
very young age, at 16. But I didn't know what that was.
49:05
I was speaking in tongues, but I didn't know what that was.
49:08
It was just some some missing conversations that I didn't have
49:14
grew up in church as a child. My grandparent, my grandfather
49:17
was a a reverend, a pastor, my mom is a minister.
49:21
My everybody went to church and my family.
49:25
And then at some point, I walked away because I just felt like
49:29
that was too perfect and I couldn't keep up with that, Like
49:31
I couldn't handle it. I couldn't be that kind of a
49:34
person. However, as I got older and I
49:41
started, you know, dealing the doing this work and these three
49:44
pillars, my ideology, my philosophy, and then I had to
49:48
take a look at my theology. Like, what do I believe in?
49:51
Spiritually, your mind is going to go, your spirit is going to
49:56
go to something. Tarot cards, crystals, biblical
50:02
principles, something your spirit is going to look for,
50:05
something to attach itself to, to feed that spirit.
50:09
And I'm not here to judge you, to tell you what's right or
50:11
wrong or good or bad. It's not my place.
50:17
But it's up to you to figure out what that belief is.
50:22
And there's so much in the world today that wars are started
50:25
because of religious stuff, religious conversations.
50:28
It's a very tough conversation to have in the world, but I had
50:35
to do my own work. I had to figure out what my home
50:38
theology was for Pharon. And so I did.
50:41
I went back and I started looking at the Bible for myself.
50:47
I started looking up, looking at God and reading about God and
50:50
Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit for myself.
50:52
And guess what? For me, I found peace in that I
50:56
believe in God, I believe in Jesus, and I believe in the Holy
50:59
Spirit. And if you don't believe in
51:00
those, all three of those, then I'm, I'm OK.
51:02
I'm not here to judge you for that.
51:04
I'll just ask more questions. I find out, well, how did you
51:07
learn about your belief, your religion?
51:09
How did you learn about that religion?
51:11
Sometimes that religion is influenced on us because of our
51:13
parents, even to the point that if you don't follow that
51:17
religion, that Joe disowned you as a child.
51:18
Like there's a lot of pressure that comes with religious
51:21
conversations. But I found, you know, God for
51:27
myself, not for what my mom has to say.
51:30
My dad, No. I had to find God for Pharaon.
51:35
And so this is my phrase for my theology.
51:41
So as much as we are told we are social beings in the in the
51:45
human experience, right? So as much as we are told that
51:50
we are social beings in the human experience, because we are
51:54
social, human beings are social beings.
51:55
We want to belong, we want to connect, like that is what the
51:58
human being experience is. We are social beings.
52:07
Now the second part of this is where it gets a different look.
52:13
So it says as much as we are told we are social beings in the
52:17
human experience, the Spirit, the Spirit has an additional
52:22
conversation about this walk that can be alone from man but
52:27
present with God. The Spirit has an additional
52:32
conversation about this walk that can be alone from man but
52:37
present with God. And that's the challenge.
52:42
We're social beings. But your relationship with your
52:45
with God is on your own. And you've got to discover that
52:49
for yourself. You've got to figure that out
52:50
for yourself. And that's going to be the work.
52:53
So in this philosophy, in my theology, in my ideology, I had
52:57
to figure out what my 3 pillars were for myself.
53:00
I was able to do that. And now I've found peace.
53:05
I'm still alive. I'm here in front of you.
53:07
Being able to share this. Before all that, I was lost and
53:14
life was done. It was over.
53:18
But today, no. Today, no.
53:20
I have the confidence. I have some confidence in
53:22
certain areas now. I've developed myself love, I've
53:25
developed myself esteem. I've I've, I've got courage.
53:29
I've always had I had courage in the military.
53:31
But why didn't I have courage in my, what I call my personal
53:34
life? Because I had those separate.
53:37
But I'm the common denominator in all of it.
53:40
When I show up in my personal life, in my military background
53:44
and my whatever, my as a father, as a grandfather, as a as
53:48
whichever life I'm still, it's still me.
53:51
It's still you. When you show up, who are you
53:56
And not what you do in life, but who you be in life?
54:00
It's about the human being, experience.
54:03
And so who I get to be is that others find their greatness
54:07
through myself, expression, and that others discover their peace
54:12
through language as I demonstrate self forgiveness.
54:17
Like that's who I get to be when I show up, when I get to be in
54:21
life as an activity, because I'm a sickle cell trade advocate.
54:24
I have a lot of conversation. I have a lot of shows that I do.
54:27
Let me play, let me. So I'm on this.
54:30
I have a sports show. So let me pull up some of these
54:34
tabs that I want to share with you before we get out of here.
54:37
I'm going to share my screen, those that you are watching.
54:41
This is my sports show. I'm on the air Sundays at 8:00
54:48
PM on KCA radio. This is a sports collective,
54:52
sports collective, media. I have different interviews
54:55
where we talk to athletes from all different backgrounds, all
54:59
different walks of life, professional young athletes,
55:02
men, women. We have all different types of
55:07
conversations. Let's play this one right here.
55:11
Is Malia Najos? And where you from?
55:15
From Brenna Park. Buena Park, she is our one of
55:18
our in studio guests tonight ladies and gentlemen as we'll be
55:21
talking about a chasing hoop dream segment around some mental
55:24
toughness. So she'll be in the zone with
55:26
Robert Lamar. If coach will shows up he'll be
55:30
he'll be back there. He'll be here.
55:33
Oh I'm not trusted but hey let's let's get into it man.
55:36
We got it is nice to have a in studio guest.
55:39
Yes. We value in studio guest more
55:41
than anything here because it's like you know we got the
55:44
presence of like you know everybody getting to see you
55:47
know you and you can hear your story and everything.
55:50
So thank you for being, you know on deck today.
55:53
We really appreciate you being here.
55:54
So talk again to your mom's and your sister for bringing you
55:56
out. Yeah, that's district family.
55:59
So I was getting into it, Yeah. So just give us some background
56:03
of your basketball experiences. Yeah, I've been playing
56:06
basketball since 2nd grade. Yeah, I went my freshman year.
56:13
I'm actually from Santa Barbara County, so my freshman year I
56:16
played in Santa Maria and I went through some challenges there
56:23
with the coaching and the team and that really, it really just
56:29
took something on my mental health.
56:32
And so, like it was even at the point where I was, just didn't
56:34
know if I still wanted to play basketball.
56:36
Questioning. Yeah, questioning it.
56:38
So, but, and I was between like I didn't know if I wanted, if
56:44
just the team wasn't the right move for me, if I wanted to
56:46
transfer, if I wanted to just pull through it.
56:49
I ended up transferring and we ended up my club team that I
56:54
played during the summer. It was.
56:56
He was down here in Orange County and so me and my dad
57:00
would drive like 3, 1/2, four hours every weekend for
57:05
practices and then in the summer.
57:08
So we ended up probably last summer.
57:11
We ended up just moving down here.
57:13
Yeah, it was better for my family.
57:16
Who? Who influenced the whole
57:19
basketball conversation at such a young age?
57:24
My dad, he put me into we're we're a sports family, so he put
57:28
me into a lot of sports. I played volleyball, softball,
57:32
soccer. I tried everything Basketball,
57:34
but basketball just kind of always stuck with me.
57:40
I mean Central Coast to down here, that's a dramatic
57:45
difference, right? Yeah, do.
57:47
You do you miss the weather up there?
57:49
I do, yeah. I miss.
57:50
We're really close to the beach. I miss that.
57:53
Yeah, there's no ocean around here, which kind of sucks.
57:55
But you, you know, you said you tried everything and then you
57:59
know, basketball, you kind of like, you know, fell into that
58:01
to the point where that's like your, you know, your no one
58:03
squeeze if you can go back. Do you think that, like if you
58:09
would apply a little bit more into other sports, you think you
58:12
would have, like, ended up there instead of basketball or just
58:14
basketballs were really worse where your heart was at from the
58:17
beginning? So that's where you can catch us
58:22
on Sunday nights. I also have a show today.
58:26
Actually, Beyond 2D is where we have a conversation about just
58:30
the different dynamics of life experiences, different
58:32
conversation about life accountability.
58:35
Be responsible. We're starting our second season
58:39
around grief. And so we're going to do 4
58:42
episodes about grief, and that's today also at 3:00 PM Pacific
58:49
Time, 6:00 PM East Coast. So again, thank you for today.
58:53
I hope that something I've said was able to help, you know, you
58:59
to look in your life and kind of figure out where you are, right?
59:02
To figure out what you want with who you are, what you want to be
59:05
up to about life. So I thank you for today and I
59:08
will be back again next Tuesday. Shout us out.
59:11
What's the count for rondi.com? The for on doziershow.com.
59:15
Shout out the NBR network.