Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - It's a Real Good Cause
Transcript
- 0:00What show is this?
- 0:14Very fantastic?
- 0:18No.
- 0:20Very fabulous?
- 0:22No, that's not it.
- 0:24No.
- 0:28Very?
- 0:30fine
- 0:31frumpets.
- 0:34Yes, that's it.
- 0:36Welcome to Very Fine Frumpets.
- 0:38Bonus improv.
- 0:40Oh, okay.
- 0:41I didn't know there was a button that was
- 0:44just
- 0:45about as
- 0:46Joe is behind.
- 0:49Two slow people getting off the bus
- 0:51and he wants off the bus.
- 0:54Back to the pod.
- 0:56Okay.
- 0:56Getting some passive aggressive signals from our producer.
- 1:01Kitchen.
- 1:02All right.
- 1:05Hmm.
- 1:07In pickleball.
- 1:08That's what we say.
- 1:08Kitchen.
- 1:10Right on.
- 1:11I say it because of.
- 1:13Because that's how our.
- 1:15Our mutual married friend with a child said it.
- 1:20Kitchen.
- 1:21Kitchen.
- 1:23Well, Joe, we need a suggestion.
- 1:25come on joe yeah where's our word yeah come on went straight to business slow ass bitch yeah
- 1:31your suggestion is charities charities plural charities charities nuts chair of the
- 1:40the chair where my nuts sit
- 1:42new invention i think it's weird that people name their kids charity i knew sisters one was
- 1:52named charity and the other was named faith no hope there might have been i don't recall
- 1:57because i mean charity okay all right go on you had thoughts yeah because charity is like it
- 2:09implies like they need help like charity case charity case she needs help oh my god if i was
- 2:14on Instagram and that was my name. My name would be
- 2:16at a me case.
- 2:21A case of me.
- 2:24No, I like
- 2:24a me case. Me case.
- 2:26Yeah. To me, it makes me think like
- 2:28oh, you're so
- 2:30charitable. You're so nice.
- 2:33But like you're compensating
- 2:34for not having a personality.
- 2:36Yeah, but they didn't choose the name.
- 2:39They're not nice. Their parents
- 2:40thought they would be nice. Yeah.
- 2:43I didn't live up to my dad's dreams.
- 2:44Are you sure?
- 2:46Quite sure.
- 2:47Francis in old Russian means the pussy pounder.
- 2:53Oh, I didn't know that.
- 2:54Oh, I should tell him.
- 2:55He'll be thrilled.
- 2:57Oh, wait.
- 2:58No, he won't.
- 2:59That's why I said it.
- 3:00I forgot I don't do that.
- 3:04I didn The pussy pusher It also kind of shocking to me the number of charities that are mostly administrative costs
- 3:17where it's like, you can donate,
- 3:19but you know only like three cents of every dollar
- 3:22is going to whatever you're actually donating for.
- 3:25Is it true that that's why it's called the March of Dimes?
- 3:27Only 10 cents of every dollar goes to charity?
- 3:30Oh, I had not heard that.
- 3:32Maybe Joe can verify.
- 3:33That's possible.
- 3:35Yeah, I don't accidentally do.
- 3:37It's bold of them to put that right up front in the name.
- 3:42Yeah, maybe it's not true.
- 3:45Is that why that charity, fuck you, here's a penny is called that?
- 3:53We got to make that.
- 4:00Oh my God, that's hilarious.
- 4:05listen to that i would have veered right off damn anyway while we wait for my it's not no it's not
- 4:15it's not because like 10 of this charity goes no it's because um uh a comedian entertainer eddie
- 4:24canter launched a national radio appeal on a show urging the american public to send a dime directly
- 4:29to the white house so it's not like 10 it's just saying to the white house what does a bunch of
- 4:34dimes do march march of dimes was started as a polio uh charity by fdr okay our second worst
- 4:42president marcio yeah like second third he's up there he's up there he's top three for sure
- 4:49google what charity only gives 10 cents of every dollar probably a lot of them okay never mind
- 4:56don't do it like the like i think like the susan g komen breast cancer charity just like
- 5:02it's like
- 5:03like the biggest chair like
- 5:06and also apparently other cancers are angry that
- 5:09breast cancer gets all the money
- 5:10oh if I was other cancers
- 5:12that's why they're metastasizing
- 5:13is that like unionizing for cancers
- 5:16yes
- 5:17huh okay
- 5:19charity
- 5:21huh
- 5:22it's all a scam
- 5:24and now
- 5:27improv
- 5:32Hey, Jen. Glad you're home. I see the doors open.
- 5:38Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hi.
- 5:40Hey, a long time no see. I'm just coming around to all the neighbors and seeing what maybe you don't need around the house anymore.
- 5:47I'm going to donate it.
- 5:49Isn't that sweet?
- 5:51Wait, who are you donating it to?
- 5:54Well, myself.
- 5:57So you're just taking people's stuff?
- 5:59No, no, it's I have a I have a charity called Fuck Me Here Stuff.
- 6:06And it's legitimate.
- 6:07It's a nonprofit.
- 6:09And yeah, it's real good cause.
- 6:13So if here a bag if you want to go around and see what you can rustle up Wait no I sorry You just taking it No this sounds like you just taking you can form a nonprofit all you want It doesn what is this for
- 6:29Why do you need my stuff?
- 6:32Oh gosh, I'm glad you asked.
- 6:34It gives me a chance to talk about our cause.
- 6:37Now, I don't know if you know this,
- 6:39but there's people around the world
- 6:40who are completely disenfranchised.
- 6:43With the help of you,
- 6:44We can send 15 of those people a year a postcard telling them hello and that we're thinking about them.
- 6:53That's it? You're sending 15 people a postcard?
- 6:56I know. Stationery has just gone up in cost over the years. It's a big commitment.
- 7:00Hey.
- 7:01You still ski? I could use some skis.
- 7:03Yeah, I do. Thank you. Yes.
- 7:06I do. Stop trying on my clothes.
- 7:11Oh, God. It fits. Look.
- 7:13that's okay that's sad for me that that fits all right i'm throwing that dress away no no no no
- 7:20no i'm throwing it away i don't want you to have it jenny no i'm sorry you're upset that i thought
- 7:25of a charity first samantha it's it sounds like you thought of a scam you thought of a scam to
- 7:32get free stuff i'm offended that you would even use that word and you you use like the least amount
- 7:38of effort to say that you're helping people. I sent 15 postcards just now when I was on vacation.
- 7:44I sent one to you, you little asshole. I know. I forwarded it to someone who was disenfranchised.
- 7:49So you didn't even, you didn't even write, you just take my postcard and you send it to somebody
- 7:54else. There's a lot of people named Stephanie who have nothing. I could be one of them if you don't
- 8:00give me your stuff. Jennifer. No, it's first of all, I hate Jennifer. It's Jenny. I was trying
- 8:09to appeal to your worst nature by pissing me off. You know what? I'm, you know what? I,
- 8:17I just formed my own nonprofit. What? No. Yeah. Yeah, I did. I just formed my own
- 8:24nonprofit on the same street as this other nonprofit. Yeah. It's called
- 8:28bang Stephanie's husband. I'm sorry. We have to do it for charity.
- 8:35You've got to bang your husband for charity, Stephanie.
- 8:39I'm sorry. Uh, if you don't let me do that, then there are, uh, there are 12
- 8:48raccoons in the neighborhood that just won't be able to eat garbage that, that day. All right.
- 8:56You happy?
- 8:58That's my charity.
- 8:59Come on.
- 9:00Send your husband over.
- 9:01Jenny.
- 9:02What?
- 9:04You can have Mark.
- 9:06What?
- 9:07If that's what this is about,
- 9:09that'll get me in a pair of skis.
- 9:12By all means.
- 9:13You're trading your husband for skis?
- 9:17Well, yeah.
- 9:18Well, no, it's just charity.
- 9:19I want you to get anything for charity.
- 9:23Okay.
- 9:23Wait, I thought you and Mark were like in love and stuff.
- 9:26Oh we are He the love of my life But if that what it takes to save the raccoons Jenny he yours Wait is this are you actually trying to do good You think you thought all this was
- 9:41was some, some ploy to get stuff? Yeah, I did. I thought it was a ploy. No. I know how you scheme,
- 9:50Stephanie? I'm sorry. I didn't do a good job. When you give me the stuff, I model it and I have
- 9:57pictures taken and we include pictures with the postcards. So disenfranchised people have
- 10:02something to work toward. You can't just give it to them. So you're just sending a disenfranchised
- 10:08person a picture of you in my dress on skis? Yes. And guess what? One day when they're on their own
- 10:15pair of skis in their own dress, I'll get a thank you note, which I can write off.
- 10:23You're writing off thank you notes?
- 10:26Yeah, the code has changed since we were young.
- 10:29But hey, if you're not ready for this conversation, I'll just, I'll go to Mildred next door.
- 10:33She's, she's, she's much more charitable.
- 10:35No, no, I, I, if you're being sincere, if this is a sincere thing.
- 10:43It is.
- 10:44Right.
- 10:45Well, then you can get my snowboard, not my skis.
- 10:52Hey, that's a start.
- 10:53I like skiing still.
- 10:55I don't know.
- 10:55I would, the snowboarding was a phase.
- 10:57Oh, I understand.
- 10:58You're not ready.
- 10:59I'm not ready.
- 11:00You're still, you're still very you.
- 11:02You're, you know.
- 11:03Yeah.
- 11:04Jenny centric.
- 11:05That's fine.
- 11:06Thank you for this.
- 11:07I'm sorry.
- 11:07I'm, it's a little bit, you know, it's the little things that just, we're all on our
- 11:11own journey.
- 11:11Thanks for the snowboard.
- 11:12Hey, I'll send you your.
- 11:14right off form. All right. And send me Mark too. Of course. I'm going right home. Okay.
- 11:19Thank you. I'm going to pork him for those raccoons.
- 11:29Um, Jenny. Hi. Hi. Hey. I can't have any more sex. I'm sorry. It's for the raccoon. That's what
- 11:40all the women are saying.
- 11:42Oh, it's for the, I'm sorry.
- 11:45I thought you were.
- 11:48You have great stamina
- 11:50for someone your age.
- 11:52Not anymore.
- 11:57Sorry, Mark.
- 11:59Raccoons need it.
- 12:00I need it.
- 12:02I, hey, you think I want to keep doing this?
- 12:04I caught the charity bug.
- 12:06Okay.
- 12:07If you really have to.
- 12:09And now I'm going to give it to you.
- 12:09Oh, I don't like the implications.
- 12:13Vaginally.
- 12:14Yeah.
- 12:15Oh God.
- 12:16No implications at all.
- 12:17I'm just going to tell you.
- 12:18No.
- 12:19Caring is now an STD.
- 12:22No more giving.
- 12:26I'm taking.
- 12:32See you.
- 12:39you