Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 287. Disrupting the Silence: Karena Dawn On Life Beyond 'Tone It Up' & Prioritizing Mental Health

Transcript

287. Disrupting the Silence: Karena Dawn On Life Beyond 'Tone It Up' & Prioritizing Mental Health · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: I started the Big Silence Foundation. I wrote a memoir
0:04
Speaker 1: called The Big Silence in order to make sure that
0:06
Speaker 1: the little krenas, the teenagers are the adults today aren't
0:09
Speaker 1: suffering in silence and opening up those conversations and ending
0:13
Speaker 1: the stigma around mental health.
0:30
Speaker 2: What's going on, everyone, Emily Abodi Here You are listening
0:33
Speaker 2: to episode two hundred.
0:34
Speaker 3: And eighty seven of Hurdle, a wellness.
0:38
Speaker 2: Focused podcast where I talk to inspirational people about everything
0:41
Speaker 2: up from their highest hies and toughest moments to essential
0:45
Speaker 2: tips on how to live a healthier, happier, more motivated life.
0:49
Speaker 2: We all go through our fair share of hurdles. My
0:53
Speaker 2: goal through these discussions is to empower you to better
0:56
Speaker 2: navigate yours and move with intention so that you can
0:59
Speaker 2: stride toward your own big potential and of course have
1:03
Speaker 2: some fun along the way. For episode two hundred and
1:07
Speaker 2: eighty seven, I am elated to bring you my conversation
1:11
Speaker 2: with Karina Dawn. You know and love her as the
1:15
Speaker 2: co founder of the wildly popular brand Tone it Up,
1:18
Speaker 2: which has certainly gone through its fair share of innovations
1:22
Speaker 2: and iterations over the past fifteen years since it was
1:27
Speaker 2: founded in two thousand and nine. She's also the founder
1:31
Speaker 2: of The Big Silence, a nonprofit organization that's focused on
1:35
Speaker 2: helping everyone have access to mental health resources and, as
1:39
Speaker 2: she puts it, break the silence.
1:41
Speaker 3: She's also a fellow podcaster.
1:43
Speaker 2: The show goes by that same name, The Big Silence,
1:46
Speaker 2: and I am so, like I said, just happy that
1:48
Speaker 2: we finally had the opportunity to sit down and do this.
1:51
Speaker 2: I feel as though this has been in the work
1:54
Speaker 2: since gosh, like maybe twenty nineteen, so yeah, long time coming.
2:00
Speaker 3: In today's episode, we talk about it all.
2:03
Speaker 2: We talk about Karina's upbringing, what it was like to
2:05
Speaker 2: navigate the hurdles within her home life. We also talk
2:09
Speaker 2: about the chance encounter between her and her now co
2:13
Speaker 2: founder of Tone it Up, Katrina I've also recorded with her.
2:16
Speaker 2: I'll include the link to that episode in the show notes,
2:21
Speaker 2: and how the two friends became roommates and then business partners,
2:26
Speaker 2: and of course what happened from there. She talks to
2:29
Speaker 2: me about the choice to get into a bunch of
2:32
Speaker 2: different facets of the wellness industry. With Tone it Up,
2:35
Speaker 2: they now have everything from workout accessories in an app
2:38
Speaker 2: to protein powder that you can buy at Target and
2:41
Speaker 2: she gets really, really open and vulnerable about her personal
2:45
Speaker 2: experience with mental health, how she has navigated some of
2:49
Speaker 2: the darkest, most difficult moments in her life and come
2:53
Speaker 2: out not only more optimistic, but.
2:56
Speaker 3: Super grateful on the other side.
2:59
Speaker 2: I do want to know that in this episode we
3:01
Speaker 2: do talk about some sensitive topics, including suicide. So if
3:06
Speaker 2: you or someone you know are struggling, you are certainly
3:09
Speaker 2: not alone. Karina talks about some resources in today's episode.
3:13
Speaker 2: I will include those in the show notes. Make sure
3:17
Speaker 2: you're following along with a show over on social is
3:20
Speaker 2: at Hurdle Podcast. I myself am over at Emily a body.
3:24
Speaker 2: I also want to drop a little Easter egg in here.
3:27
Speaker 2: I know Easter is no time soon, but if you
3:29
Speaker 2: are a member of the Super Secret Hurdlers Group, that's
3:32
Speaker 2: not actually all that secret. The link to join it
3:35
Speaker 2: is in the show notes. I want you to go
3:37
Speaker 2: in there and start a conversation. I'm going to choose
3:39
Speaker 2: one person this week that's chiming in, that's embracing our
3:43
Speaker 2: community over there a special something. So head on over
3:47
Speaker 2: to the Super Secret Hurdlers Group.
3:49
Speaker 3: Say something, introduce yourself, ask a question, whatever you need.
3:53
Speaker 2: I've got something special coming to someone asap. With that,
3:57
Speaker 2: let's get to it, let's get to hurt. Like today,
4:10
Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with Karina Down. She is the founder
4:13
Speaker 2: of Tone it Up. She's also the founder of The
4:16
Speaker 2: Big Silence, the mental health and self development podcast, among
4:20
Speaker 2: many other things.
4:21
Speaker 3: How are you doing today?
4:23
Speaker 1: I'm doing great. So happy to finally connect with you.
4:27
Speaker 3: I know, finally.
4:28
Speaker 2: I feel like we've been in the same atmospheres many
4:31
Speaker 2: of times we work together when I was at self.
4:33
Speaker 2: We've connected in New York, and now it's like, might
4:36
Speaker 2: as well bring it full circle into the next chapter
4:39
Speaker 2: of our lives. So much has happened for you since
4:41
Speaker 2: I last saw you before the pandemic, including a move
4:46
Speaker 2: to Austin.
4:47
Speaker 3: How's that treating you?
4:49
Speaker 1: I love it. I always told my husband if I
4:53
Speaker 1: wasn't in Southern California, I wanted to live in Austin
4:55
Speaker 1: because I actually came here for work through Tone it
4:58
Speaker 1: Up when we had that deal with Oakley and we
5:02
Speaker 1: did events here and I was just like, I love it.
5:04
Speaker 1: I told Kat, I'm like, I want to be here
5:06
Speaker 1: one day, and so here we are. In twenty nineteen,
5:08
Speaker 1: we moved here and then I'm going to be back
5:10
Speaker 1: and forth and then you know what happened in twenty twenty. Well,
5:15
Speaker 1: guess we'll just stay.
5:17
Speaker 3: I guess we'll just stay. What is it about Austin
5:20
Speaker 3: that drew you in?
5:20
Speaker 2: I'm always so interested because I don't know if before
5:23
Speaker 2: you went there, if you always thought you'd be a
5:26
Speaker 2: so col girly. But I feel like when I whenever
5:29
Speaker 2: I leave New York, I'm like, Okay, this is nice,
5:32
Speaker 2: but I love New York.
5:34
Speaker 1: What do I love? Well, Okay, I'm from Indiana and
5:37
Speaker 1: I feel like Austins a little La, a little Indiana.
5:41
Speaker 1: But I love music, the food. The community here is incredible.
5:45
Speaker 1: Where I was in LA for twenty years and I
5:48
Speaker 1: came to Austin and the friend circle and the openness
5:53
Speaker 1: and the kindness of everyone here we have just it's
5:56
Speaker 1: a huge community here.
5:58
Speaker 3: Yeah. I love that.
5:59
Speaker 2: I love and as you know, having started a massive
6:03
Speaker 2: community yourself, community really can be such a game changer
6:08
Speaker 2: in every aspect. Now many people know your name and
6:12
Speaker 2: associate it with Tone it Up. But where I want
6:14
Speaker 2: to start our conversation today is with the big silence.
6:17
Speaker 2: So tell me a little bit about why you decided
6:21
Speaker 2: to kind of pursue this avenue.
6:24
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I have always had my heart and my
6:28
Speaker 1: thoughts on mental health for many, many years. I grew
6:30
Speaker 1: up with a mother who was schizophrenic and suffered from depression.
6:34
Speaker 1: And that was back in the nineties when no one
6:36
Speaker 1: was talking about mental health, and myself as a teenager,
6:39
Speaker 1: didn't have any resources, didn't have anyone to talk to,
6:43
Speaker 1: and suffered my own situational depression and for over a
6:47
Speaker 1: decade and definitely drug misuse, suicide survivor. And as I
6:54
Speaker 1: got older, let's say ten years later in my early twenties,
6:58
Speaker 1: was when I found fitness again, because that was what,
7:01
Speaker 1: you know, really saved me. Back then, I remembered when
7:04
Speaker 1: I was a kid, what did I like, When was
7:07
Speaker 1: I happiest? It was running a half marathon. So to
7:11
Speaker 1: get over that hurdle, I started working out again and
7:16
Speaker 1: it really became my therapy from triathlon, surfing, physical movement. Yeah,
7:23
Speaker 1: so from there, you know, tone it up. We wanted
7:27
Speaker 1: to share that message about movement and then finally I
7:30
Speaker 1: kind of hid the mental health side for a long
7:32
Speaker 1: time and a story, and then I realized that sharing
7:36
Speaker 1: my story, my mother's story, my family's story, that a
7:40
Speaker 1: lot more people were going through the same experience. So
7:46
Speaker 1: I started the Big Silence Foundation, and I wrote a
7:49
Speaker 1: memoir called The Big Silence in order to make sure
7:52
Speaker 1: that the little Korenas, the teenagers, or the adults today
7:55
Speaker 1: aren't suffering in silence and opening up those conversations and
7:59
Speaker 1: ending the stigma around mental health.
8:01
Speaker 3: The little Karnas.
8:03
Speaker 2: Do you remember how it felt at first to open
8:08
Speaker 2: up about this story, the feelings that were associated with
8:11
Speaker 2: sharing such a big part of your truth that you'd
8:13
Speaker 2: kept hidden for so long.
8:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was the stigma even for me. And
8:21
Speaker 1: you know, it was my mother who was sick, it
8:23
Speaker 1: was my family that was suffered so much, but also
8:27
Speaker 1: because of how I reacted as my coping mechanism and
8:32
Speaker 1: then being a fitness superstar. Back then, I was like, oh,
8:35
Speaker 1: I cannot let anybody know, and like we literally were like, no,
8:39
Speaker 1: we're just wellness people. But then when I slowly started
8:43
Speaker 1: talking about it, maybe just to one person or another
8:46
Speaker 1: person or somebody I tone it up meetup or a
8:49
Speaker 1: community or an event, and then they share their story
8:51
Speaker 1: and then another person, and you realize that the more
8:53
Speaker 1: you talk about it, and you realize you're not alone.
8:56
Speaker 1: Then the community actually becomes larger and more and I
9:01
Speaker 1: felt for me personally, I felt a freedom. I felt
9:06
Speaker 1: like I wasn't hiding anymore, and I felt real good.
9:09
Speaker 1: It's part of the going to therapy and talking about
9:13
Speaker 1: it and then wanting to, you know, share with others
9:16
Speaker 1: like it's going to be okay.
9:18
Speaker 3: Yeah.
9:18
Speaker 2: I just watched the new Dan Levy movie on Netflix,
9:21
Speaker 2: Good Grief, and in it he describes dealing with his
9:24
Speaker 2: grief as like he is carrying he is swimming in
9:29
Speaker 2: the water and he has all of his clothes on
9:31
Speaker 2: and he is incapable of taking them off, and it
9:34
Speaker 2: feels so heavy. And that's exactly what I would like
9:38
Speaker 2: in going through depression and not speaking about it to anyone.
9:44
Speaker 2: It's as though you're harboring this secret that truly impacts
9:49
Speaker 2: absolutely everything you're doing, but you can't shed light on
9:53
Speaker 2: that because but you're scared to shed light on that publicly,
9:56
Speaker 2: even if it is just to one or two people.
10:00
Speaker 1: Well, a few things on if we talk about grief.
10:05
Speaker 1: Number one, you don't want to burden someone else, or
10:08
Speaker 1: someone else might not understand if they haven't gone through grief.
10:11
Speaker 1: And in this movie, in particular, he lost his husband,
10:14
Speaker 1: by the way, a big Shitz Creek fan over here,
10:16
Speaker 1: so yea. But yeah, grief, Yeah, it is very heavy
10:23
Speaker 1: and if you're doing it alone and you'll just drown
10:25
Speaker 1: in it. And we're here to support each other. So
10:29
Speaker 1: I think it's so important no matter what you're feeling, sadness, happiness, anxiety,
10:35
Speaker 1: it's okay to talk about it. It's a normal part
10:37
Speaker 1: of life. We're all going to experience.
10:39
Speaker 3: Grief, yeah, for sure.
10:41
Speaker 2: And you know, it was interesting because you said just
10:44
Speaker 2: now when you were talking about integrating into the Tone
10:46
Speaker 2: it Up community and that it was your mom's difficulties
10:50
Speaker 2: that she was struggling with, but you were struggling with
10:53
Speaker 2: them too. Clearly you mentioned having almost a decade long
10:56
Speaker 2: period of dealing with waves of depression yourself during that
11:02
Speaker 2: decade of time.
11:03
Speaker 3: Can you talk to me about what it felt like
11:06
Speaker 3: going in and.
11:07
Speaker 2: Out of that process, the experience that you had, and
11:11
Speaker 2: how you navigated the ebbs and flows.
11:15
Speaker 1: I was drowning period. I just tried to escape. If
11:19
Speaker 1: you're a teenager and you're still developing and you don't
11:23
Speaker 1: have anyone to talk to, you feel very alone because
11:26
Speaker 1: of the stigma I'm not going to go to my friends,
11:28
Speaker 1: my teenage friends and be like, hey, can I talk
11:30
Speaker 1: to you about this? Therapy was not really a thing
11:34
Speaker 1: that was normal for kids. How did I navigate I
11:39
Speaker 1: wouldn't say I navigated it well, but I survived it,
11:42
Speaker 1: and that's what I'm grateful for.
11:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there is also so much stigma about
11:47
Speaker 2: the methods that we use to navigate trouble.
11:51
Speaker 3: And you want to do it quote unquote the.
11:55
Speaker 2: Right way, and you're worried about not progressing fast enough
12:01
Speaker 2: or at the right pace, and in actuality, any progress
12:07
Speaker 2: is progress. Showing up or even googling how to speak
12:11
Speaker 2: to a local health professional, that's progress, right, Yeah.
12:16
Speaker 1: Diet there's a crisis text line. You can text hello
12:20
Speaker 1: to seven four one, seven four one, and that is
12:24
Speaker 1: a step, like just and you get three twenty four
12:26
Speaker 1: hour crisis counseling. Like that's a huge step. And there's
12:30
Speaker 1: a lot of We've had a text sign with the
12:32
Speaker 1: big silence too, and a lot of community members actually
12:35
Speaker 1: used it. I don't know who it is. It's completely anonymous.
12:37
Speaker 1: We can just tell like when someone uses it. But yeah,
12:42
Speaker 1: little steps, you know, and then also after the little steps,
12:46
Speaker 1: knowing like if we're speaking about grief in particular, grief
12:52
Speaker 1: is not linear. And I'll say, you lose a loved one,
12:56
Speaker 1: take your time, take your time. If you're going through
12:59
Speaker 1: a breakup, a job loss, you don't have to just
13:01
Speaker 1: pick back up and smile it. It's just every day
13:04
Speaker 1: do something, maybe a little step further, a little step further,
13:08
Speaker 1: and a little step further, and if you fall back
13:10
Speaker 1: a little, it's okay. We just we keep going. So
13:14
Speaker 1: I would say, not passing any judgment on yourself for anything.
13:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, so important.
13:20
Speaker 2: Now, I believe I was listening to your podcast the
13:23
Speaker 2: other day with your husband, and you were talking about
13:25
Speaker 2: how you've been able to through the podcast, touch and
13:29
Speaker 2: change more than eighteen thousand people's lives, which is such
13:34
Speaker 2: an amazing statistic.
13:36
Speaker 3: With that, you.
13:38
Speaker 2: Also have helped people and maybe a little bit different
13:41
Speaker 2: of a way with tone it up. Talk to me
13:44
Speaker 2: about the difference in that because clearly, like I said,
13:49
Speaker 2: they are two very different concepts.
13:52
Speaker 1: Yeah. So the eighteen thousand is through our Therapy for
13:55
Speaker 1: All program and where you can apply for therapy because
13:58
Speaker 1: a lot of time therapists don't accept health insurance or
14:02
Speaker 1: your health insurance doesn't pay for therapy. So that number
14:06
Speaker 1: of eighteen was in twenty twenty three. Of how many
14:09
Speaker 1: people we could help through that and our crisis text
14:11
Speaker 1: line and our resources, the podcast is millions. So just
14:15
Speaker 1: wanted to shut it. Yeah, and then what was the
14:19
Speaker 1: question then?
14:20
Speaker 2: So the question was how does it feel for you
14:24
Speaker 2: helping in the two different ways, Like I said, tone
14:26
Speaker 2: it up being so different than the Big silence.
14:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say tone it up in the Big
14:32
Speaker 1: Silence in terms of helping people is actually very similar.
14:36
Speaker 1: I've discovered about myself. I like to kind of give
14:41
Speaker 1: back and have passion and what I do. So think
14:44
Speaker 1: about tone it Up and the community and the friendships
14:46
Speaker 1: that were made, and we're getting women to move their
14:49
Speaker 1: body and feel good and that already affects your mental health,
14:52
Speaker 1: so that goes into it helps with relationships. Helped with this,
14:55
Speaker 1: I just felt, helps you be a mother, better parent, friend,
15:00
Speaker 1: you know. And then I think the one thing that
15:02
Speaker 1: was missing was really just opening up about the mental
15:05
Speaker 1: health side, because that's another way to help each other
15:09
Speaker 1: and to help community, and both ways from moving your
15:12
Speaker 1: body and movement is medicine. Meditation is medicine, and mental
15:17
Speaker 1: health is so important, So I don't think you it's
15:20
Speaker 1: got to be a full free, like full circle of wellness.
15:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I hardly can remember now when Tone
15:26
Speaker 2: It Up wasn't a household name in fitness. I believe
15:29
Speaker 2: you started it in two thousand and nine. It's been
15:31
Speaker 2: about fifteen years of this brand, which has evolved in
15:35
Speaker 2: its own rate. How does it feel for you as
15:38
Speaker 2: you grow as well personally along with this brand? I mean,
15:43
Speaker 2: it certainly had to inform the decisions that you make
15:46
Speaker 2: with it, how you show up personally and professionally alongside
15:50
Speaker 2: of it.
15:51
Speaker 3: Super curious about that.
15:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, fifteen years. I am so proud of that. That's
15:58
Speaker 1: huge and so especially for us to Tone it Up
16:01
Speaker 1: to be at the forefront of our generation of fitness,
16:05
Speaker 1: the social fitness. And there has been evolutions and there
16:09
Speaker 1: should be. If I was the same Krena at twenty seven,
16:14
Speaker 1: I would I would question myself. There has to be growth, right,
16:18
Speaker 1: And we all grow up, we get married, we build families,
16:22
Speaker 1: we move, we evolve in being better role models for
16:27
Speaker 1: our community. So the evolution is easy for me and
16:31
Speaker 1: I'm proud of the evolution of myself of Tone it Up.
16:35
Speaker 1: Is it easy? Having a company for fifteen years. Heck no, no.
16:40
Speaker 1: Is it easy to be married for at fifteen years?
16:43
Speaker 1: Is it easy to have any job over fifteen years? No,
16:47
Speaker 1: there's always the struggles with that, but we've sustained and
16:52
Speaker 1: it's I think it's a It's a huge accomplishment when
16:55
Speaker 1: no matter what happens in life, I will always be
16:58
Speaker 1: proud to be a founder of Tone it Up.
17:00
Speaker 3: Yeah.
17:00
Speaker 2: You know, I think a lot of people are familiar
17:02
Speaker 2: with tonin Up's origin story, you meeting Katrina at the
17:06
Speaker 2: gym shortly after getting out of a breakup. I believe
17:09
Speaker 2: it was on a Friday night, if I'm not mistaken,
17:12
Speaker 2: and the two of you taking to one another, living
17:15
Speaker 2: together and starting this company together. Now, Rather than go
17:21
Speaker 2: into all the particulars of that, I'm most curious if
17:24
Speaker 2: you can reflect about what the most difficult part was
17:28
Speaker 2: at the very beginning. As a founder myself, I feel
17:32
Speaker 2: frustrated at times when I am in this place where
17:38
Speaker 2: I feel as though I just want to yell, can
17:40
Speaker 2: someone just help me with this?
17:42
Speaker 3: Did you experience that?
17:44
Speaker 1: You know, there definitely was difficulty, but we always said
17:50
Speaker 1: that it was great that there were two of us
17:52
Speaker 1: because we could easily bounce back off, and we both
17:55
Speaker 1: had our different strengths that we could bring to the table.
17:59
Speaker 1: And so I would say the beginning, it was really
18:01
Speaker 1: fun and it was it was just the two of
18:03
Speaker 1: us on a beach with a camera and we're just
18:05
Speaker 1: having fun making videos and going on YouTube, and you know,
18:09
Speaker 1: then this was before Instagram, and so I would say
18:14
Speaker 1: the most difficult thing in the beginning was when we
18:19
Speaker 1: had bigger ideas of what we wanted to do, but
18:23
Speaker 1: we didn't have the cash flow to do it, you
18:26
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, we want to do this,
18:27
Speaker 1: we want to do these events, we want to create
18:29
Speaker 1: these products and protein and you know, we never raised
18:33
Speaker 1: any money until twenty eighteen, and so we did it
18:37
Speaker 1: all on our own. But I don't know, I feel
18:41
Speaker 1: like in the beginning years have toned it up. It
18:43
Speaker 1: was just a good old time. What about you us
18:47
Speaker 1: like your I want to hear your beginning of.
18:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, for me, it's just it's a completely
18:53
Speaker 2: different thing and a lot less I would say formal.
18:56
Speaker 2: But I also think that we as entrepreneurs, at least
18:59
Speaker 2: meet myself, tend to downplay like the awesomeness of the
19:02
Speaker 2: things that I'm creating, but I mean since the beginning
19:05
Speaker 2: with Hurdle, like, I've been building this thing on my own,
19:08
Speaker 2: and so I'm really looking forward to transforming that this
19:12
Speaker 2: year and shifting that this year, and bringing people onto
19:15
Speaker 2: my team this year, and expanding in ways that you
19:17
Speaker 2: at Tone it Up have already expanded with live events
19:21
Speaker 2: and maybe eventually some sort of a product A little
19:24
Speaker 2: teaser here, But I would say the most difficult part
19:27
Speaker 2: for me is being told by others who I'm hoping
19:31
Speaker 2: can facilitate my hustle and facilitate the things that I'm excited.
19:34
Speaker 3: About, just not yet.
19:37
Speaker 2: And what I've come to realize now at this point
19:40
Speaker 2: seven years in is understanding the benefit that comes with
19:44
Speaker 2: taking no with grace and being kind in the face
19:48
Speaker 2: of no. I think that it's very easy to internalize
19:52
Speaker 2: things or feel rejected when more often than not that
19:55
Speaker 2: no is coming because it's not the right time or
19:58
Speaker 2: it's just the way that business has to be right now,
20:00
Speaker 2: And that doesn't mean that those opportunities aren't going to
20:03
Speaker 2: come back around at some point, and in many cases
20:06
Speaker 2: for myself, thankfully they have. So I think learning to
20:09
Speaker 2: take no with kindness and grace is probably the biggest.
20:13
Speaker 3: Lesson I've learned over the last seven years.
20:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say in the beginning, I turned up
20:18
Speaker 1: when we started hearing no that was it? Was what what?
20:24
Speaker 2: Because I mean you were talking about the highlight reel
20:26
Speaker 2: that is Instagram and that it wasn't even around for
20:28
Speaker 2: you yet. But these days, when people are starting something,
20:31
Speaker 2: they're so used to being exposed to these what seem
20:34
Speaker 2: like overnight success stories and the the good, the good,
20:37
Speaker 2: the good, and they don't realize how many knows happen
20:40
Speaker 2: and how much more frequently people are told no than yes.
20:45
Speaker 1: Oh yeah and now. But then don't worry. You get
20:47
Speaker 1: used to it. And people were like no, You're like, okay,
20:49
Speaker 1: no problems, speculator, you.
20:54
Speaker 3: Have a good one. Yeah. I can totally relate to that.
20:58
Speaker 2: So then fast forward, we're talking about the evolution of
21:02
Speaker 2: the brand. Tone it up and you said that you
21:04
Speaker 2: finally did fundraise in twenty eighteen.
21:08
Speaker 3: How was that experience for you?
21:10
Speaker 1: Wasn't we didn't we brought on private equity, So I mean,
21:14
Speaker 1: I'm very transparent. We didn't talk about it for many,
21:17
Speaker 1: many years. I don't really know why, but you know,
21:20
Speaker 1: we personally grew a community for until twenty eighteen. What
21:26
Speaker 1: is I'm at almost nine years And it got to
21:29
Speaker 1: the point where we were in such a growth that
21:35
Speaker 1: we were actually we were in Target, we were going
21:37
Speaker 1: in other retailers. The app. It's very expensive. We had,
21:41
Speaker 1: you know, all the employees and we were there were
21:45
Speaker 1: like oly, shit, like we're about to run out of
21:48
Speaker 1: money to not be able to keep going. And this
21:51
Speaker 1: happens with a lot of companies, right Like when you're
21:54
Speaker 1: going up, up up up, it's hard to maintain. So
21:57
Speaker 1: we're like, okay, let's let's do it. So we took
22:02
Speaker 1: on private equity and still majority.
22:05
Speaker 3: Yeah.
22:06
Speaker 2: Wow, I can't even like that. That in itself is
22:10
Speaker 2: like an entirely intimidating thing. And I think for so
22:13
Speaker 2: many it is such a it's such unknown territory that
22:19
Speaker 2: many would rather fail or step back than step into
22:24
Speaker 2: that unknown.
22:25
Speaker 1: It is scary. And I want to go back to
22:27
Speaker 1: your question about in the beginning too, and I was
22:29
Speaker 1: just thinking the hardest thing was we didn't go to
22:32
Speaker 1: business school. We learned. I mean there's the University of YouTube,
22:37
Speaker 1: of Google, of you know, everything about running a business
22:40
Speaker 1: from the back end to the contracts to the creative
22:43
Speaker 1: to the editing like it was everything. So I would
22:47
Speaker 1: say that's one of the hardest things is learning in
22:50
Speaker 1: the hours, but then going back to the unknown again
22:54
Speaker 1: when you're like, oh wow, I can bring on a partner.
22:57
Speaker 1: I had to learn about that. What does that mean,
22:59
Speaker 1: what does that look like? The pros and cons of it.
23:02
Speaker 2: So and looping this back into our mental health discussion,
23:06
Speaker 2: what so many people see is two good friends on
23:10
Speaker 2: the beach working out.
23:11
Speaker 3: They don't see all.
23:12
Speaker 2: The stuff that happens behind the scenes, the learning, the
23:17
Speaker 2: going to quote unquote the school of YouTube, staying up
23:20
Speaker 2: all hours of the night to produce and edit videos, networking,
23:25
Speaker 2: all of these knows like, there's so much that people
23:27
Speaker 2: aren't seeing. But then what you start to see is
23:31
Speaker 2: perhaps the criticisms or the feedback on yourself. Talk to
23:35
Speaker 2: me about how your evolution has been when it comes
23:40
Speaker 2: to hearing feedback, especially unsolicited feedback about the products that
23:46
Speaker 2: you are creating and candidly about yourself.
23:49
Speaker 1: Always unsolicited, the negative feedback. But hey, you know what
23:54
Speaker 1: I always say, if they're still talking, But that's great,
23:59
Speaker 1: But you know, how do I deal with that? In
24:03
Speaker 1: the beginning, I mean, I feel like my entire career,
24:06
Speaker 1: even pre toned up was fa face forward, right, But
24:09
Speaker 1: it was before social media, so you don't really see anything.
24:13
Speaker 1: And when I was a tri athlete and on all
24:14
Speaker 1: the magazine covers or doing campaigns and stuff like No One,
24:17
Speaker 1: you didn't know if people were talking about you. But
24:20
Speaker 1: social media really opened up that can of forms where
24:23
Speaker 1: everyone felt like they could say something about you. At first,
24:27
Speaker 1: I was confused, was like, what why are people saying
24:31
Speaker 1: mean things? But you realize, you know, sometimes it's I
24:35
Speaker 1: believe it is a form of projection and managing it.
24:40
Speaker 1: You try not to look at it, but or just
24:44
Speaker 1: pray for them. I don't know, I mean, it's do
24:47
Speaker 1: you get people saying mean things about you? Yeah?
24:50
Speaker 3: For sure.
24:51
Speaker 2: I remember a couple of years ago I was prepping
24:56
Speaker 2: for a big live podcast in Boston Marathon weekend with
25:01
Speaker 2: Des Linden, and for some reason I decided that this
25:04
Speaker 2: particular day was the day to google Emily a Body
25:09
Speaker 2: in quotations and then Reddit. Never again will I ever
25:14
Speaker 2: do that? I learned real quick. I read one thing.
25:18
Speaker 2: I was not exactly the happiest version of myself.
25:22
Speaker 3: I cried a little in the.
25:24
Speaker 2: Uber on my way to the event, and then I said,
25:27
Speaker 2: this doesn't serve me. We've opened the door, we will
25:31
Speaker 2: close the door.
25:32
Speaker 3: And that's that, you know.
25:33
Speaker 1: And it's really sad too for people who in our industry,
25:37
Speaker 1: who are trying to make the world a better place.
25:41
Speaker 1: I should really just raise each other up. And it
25:43
Speaker 1: was I think the most disappointing thing for me was
25:45
Speaker 1: because Tone it Up is a community of non judgment
25:48
Speaker 1: and women supporting women. I don't bring that here. Do
25:53
Speaker 1: not bring that here. Yeah, And then going back of
25:57
Speaker 1: the evolution of tone it Up and self and you know,
26:00
Speaker 1: when people are like, well you've changed, it's not like
26:04
Speaker 1: in twenty twelve, how you how you were? I'm like,
26:06
Speaker 1: thank god, thanks.
26:12
Speaker 2: But changed in what sense, like aside from physically, Like
26:15
Speaker 2: there is it that your personality is changing?
26:18
Speaker 3: Like what is the critique?
26:19
Speaker 1: Thank god? I was super super shy back then, and
26:22
Speaker 1: now I like say anything that I want. So then
26:26
Speaker 1: people like, what's wrong with Carena, Maybe she's just talking more,
26:29
Speaker 1: you know. Well, I also think because I started talking
26:32
Speaker 1: about my story and mental health and my mother, a
26:37
Speaker 1: lot of questions of like is Koreina okay? Is she
26:41
Speaker 1: on drugs? Because she's never liked, you know, just you know,
26:44
Speaker 1: stuff like that or you know, and I I don't know,
26:48
Speaker 1: it's silly. I don't mean. We've spent way too much
26:50
Speaker 1: time even talking about that. But you know, I think
26:53
Speaker 1: the question was how do you deal with it? It's
26:56
Speaker 1: you have a good way to shut the door, move
26:58
Speaker 1: on and keep doing good in the world and keep
26:59
Speaker 1: your mission and hope that whoever's feeling that they need
27:04
Speaker 1: to say negative things about you or another woman or
27:09
Speaker 1: any human that's doing great in the world, hopefully they
27:12
Speaker 1: can reflect back and they can turn their negativity into positivity.
27:17
Speaker 3: Yeah.
27:17
Speaker 2: I hear what you're saying about projection, and I also
27:20
Speaker 2: really am on the same page with you when it
27:23
Speaker 2: comes to sticking with your mission. And if people are
27:27
Speaker 2: saying something, then more often than not, that means that
27:29
Speaker 2: you are helping someone else, because it's pretty common for
27:34
Speaker 2: us to just listen to the negativity instead of soaking
27:38
Speaker 2: in all the good things that everyone is saying around us.
27:43
Speaker 2: I heard you talk about your experience with your mother.
27:47
Speaker 2: There was a point before she passed that you were
27:49
Speaker 2: speaking to her and she apologized to you for what
27:52
Speaker 2: you had to deal with, and in response, you said
27:55
Speaker 2: what I had to deal with and this has made
27:57
Speaker 2: me the resilient person that I am today. Talk to
28:00
Speaker 2: us a little bit about how you feel like that
28:03
Speaker 2: has impacted you in the long haul.
28:06
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I was with my mom in the last
28:08
Speaker 1: three days of her life when she was in hospice,
28:10
Speaker 1: and she was your I think you're talking about when
28:12
Speaker 1: I was talking about her saying regret, I regret, regret, regret.
28:17
Speaker 1: And I sat there and I was like, Mom, We're
28:19
Speaker 1: not We're not going out this way. Let's you shouldn't
28:23
Speaker 1: regret being a bad mom and doing this. It's not
28:26
Speaker 1: your fault when you have a mental illness, it's a disease.
28:30
Speaker 1: She could not control it, and so I told her,
28:34
Speaker 1: you know that I'm proud of the daughter that she raised,
28:37
Speaker 1: even though she couldn't quite be there. It made me
28:39
Speaker 1: a really strong person. And you used the word resilience,
28:43
Speaker 1: and I love that word because I've discovered and could
28:47
Speaker 1: be for you and many people listening out there. When
28:50
Speaker 1: someone says what is your superpower? Mine is resilience.
28:54
Speaker 2: That perspective is really beautiful and I'd imagine that it
28:59
Speaker 2: was it one that you had from the get go.
29:03
Speaker 2: Can you recall a time where maybe you were a
29:06
Speaker 2: little bit less graceful about your circumstance, maybe you were
29:10
Speaker 2: angry or did feel emotional about the situation that you
29:14
Speaker 2: were in. And maybe when was the inflection point from
29:18
Speaker 2: point A to point.
29:19
Speaker 1: B when I started educating myself on mental illness and
29:23
Speaker 1: schizophrenia and realizing it wasn't her and that wasn't who she,
29:28
Speaker 1: her soul was, it was the disease, and then learning
29:32
Speaker 1: empathy so then you can go away from that resentment
29:36
Speaker 1: like Mom, you ruined my life and this and like
29:39
Speaker 1: you know, a little kid crying and being so angry
29:42
Speaker 1: to realize I think that's the number one thing when
29:45
Speaker 1: you're dealing with any kind of mental illness, if your
29:47
Speaker 1: loved one has any condition, is empathy. And even when
29:53
Speaker 1: I got married to Bobby, we'd went to NAMI Has
29:56
Speaker 1: Family to family courses because he was just like what
30:00
Speaker 1: he hadn't spent much time with my mom, and then
30:03
Speaker 1: she became basically we became her caretakers, and he was
30:08
Speaker 1: getting angry and frustrated. So we took this thirteen week
30:11
Speaker 1: course that teaches family members how to have empathy and
30:14
Speaker 1: teaches all about the different medications and fifty and fifties,
30:18
Speaker 1: and tools for family members who have loved ones who
30:23
Speaker 1: are struggling for mental illness. And they even teach like
30:25
Speaker 1: physical fitness, and this is an in person support group
30:29
Speaker 1: like meditation. I'm like, yeah, like you know, it's like
30:32
Speaker 1: the basic needs, get in nature, it's all of these things.
30:36
Speaker 1: So it's empathy is the biggest, biggest thing to get
30:40
Speaker 1: rid of that anger.
30:41
Speaker 3: Yeah.
30:42
Speaker 2: Wow, what a beautiful love between you and your partner
30:47
Speaker 2: to be willing to garner this education so that the
30:51
Speaker 2: two of you could move through this together.
30:55
Speaker 3: That's really special.
30:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, shout out to Bobby because it has. It was
31:00
Speaker 1: not easy and he, you know, I was very busy
31:04
Speaker 1: where sometimes I couldn't be with her if we had emergencies,
31:06
Speaker 1: he would go and you know, make sure to take
31:08
Speaker 1: care of her. He was a really good partner during
31:12
Speaker 1: that time.
31:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, it still is and still is.
31:16
Speaker 2: What would you say that experience did for your relationship
31:20
Speaker 2: with your husband?
31:23
Speaker 1: I put a lot of pressure. Yeah, you know, can
31:26
Speaker 1: you imagine you just get married and you're like off,
31:28
Speaker 1: we got married in Hawaii and then we go to
31:30
Speaker 1: island hopping on a honeymoon and we're like ah, and
31:34
Speaker 1: then we get home in La and kel and Manhattan
31:38
Speaker 1: Beach and get an email two weeks later that my
31:42
Speaker 1: mom was in the hospital because she kind of she
31:44
Speaker 1: was in and out of my life. She had ghosted
31:45
Speaker 1: me again. But and then we were just fully in
31:50
Speaker 1: on it to you know, help save and extend her life.
31:54
Speaker 1: So it made us maybe not focus on each other
31:58
Speaker 1: as much as a newlywed couple would have. So we
32:03
Speaker 1: became caretakers and it's a lot of work, and so
32:09
Speaker 1: it definitely we've made it through, and we've had to
32:12
Speaker 1: go with therapy, which is normal. Everyone's like, oh my gosh,
32:15
Speaker 1: you've in therapy, and I'm like, yeah, of course, let's
32:21
Speaker 1: talk it out. And you know a lot of men
32:23
Speaker 1: don't talk. And he had never been in therapy before,
32:27
Speaker 1: and he went by himself, and then we went together
32:30
Speaker 1: and it's just after therapy, he's like, I love this,
32:35
Speaker 1: you know.
32:37
Speaker 2: You mean we can openly express our emotions and talk
32:40
Speaker 2: to one another about how we feel and have progressive
32:42
Speaker 2: of communication.
32:43
Speaker 3: That's such a crazy idea.
32:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, but such a testament to the benefit of communication, right,
32:49
Speaker 2: because oftentimes, even though you can have like the most
32:53
Speaker 2: wonderful and loving and supportive relationship with your partner. But
32:57
Speaker 2: sometimes it just needs to get to a place where
33:00
Speaker 2: you have what might be deemed like a safe space.
33:03
Speaker 2: It's like a specific time to speak about whatever is
33:08
Speaker 2: on your mind and go through that in a way
33:10
Speaker 2: that feels supported.
33:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, and a therapist can help you with your at
33:15
Speaker 1: home communication, you know, And I mean we're always learning.
33:19
Speaker 1: That's great. That's the great thing.
33:25
Speaker 2: Taking a break from the show today to talk to
33:28
Speaker 2: you about something that truly has changed my life and
33:33
Speaker 2: how I feel in my body.
33:36
Speaker 3: Listen. Taking care of your.
33:37
Speaker 2: Health it isn't always easy, but it should at least
33:40
Speaker 2: be simple, and that's why for the last five something years,
33:45
Speaker 2: I've been drinking ag one every day, no exceptions. It's
33:49
Speaker 2: just one scoop mixed in water once a day, every day,
33:52
Speaker 2: and it makes me feel energized and focused and strong
33:57
Speaker 2: and candidly really ready to take on the day. That's
34:01
Speaker 2: because each serving of ag one delivers my daily dose
34:04
Speaker 2: of vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics and more. It's a
34:08
Speaker 2: powerful healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. Listen, I noticed
34:14
Speaker 2: a long time ago that I need more nutrients support
34:17
Speaker 2: than I used to, especially with training and traveling, working out.
34:22
Speaker 3: Having long days. I need all the help I can get.
34:26
Speaker 2: But ag one covers my bases with high quality ingredients
34:29
Speaker 2: like pre and probiotics, adaptogens, antiaccidants, and whole food source nutrients.
34:35
Speaker 2: I know if I drink it daily, I'm going to
34:38
Speaker 2: feel that extra boost. If there's one product I had
34:42
Speaker 2: to recommend to elevate your health, it's ag one and
34:46
Speaker 2: that is exactly why I've partnered with them for so long.
34:49
Speaker 2: So if you want to take ownership of your own health,
34:52
Speaker 2: start with ag one. Try ag one and get a
34:55
Speaker 2: free one year supply of vitamin D three, K two,
34:58
Speaker 2: and five free ag one travel packs with your first purchase,
35:03
Speaker 2: exclusively at drinkag one dot com slash hurdle. That's drinkag
35:09
Speaker 2: one dot com slash hurdle.
35:12
Speaker 3: Go ahead, check it out.
35:23
Speaker 2: I know we've kind of timelined mostly up until the pandemic.
35:28
Speaker 2: Talk to me about what happened for you come March
35:32
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty.
35:34
Speaker 1: March twenty twenty, we had to tone it up. Event
35:39
Speaker 1: we were headlining. I think it was PopSugar down in
35:43
Speaker 1: LA and it was just the talk of C word
35:48
Speaker 1: and so Kat and are like Okay, we won't do
35:50
Speaker 1: a meet and greet, and so anyways, we do the
35:52
Speaker 1: event and then I fly home to Austin and I
35:56
Speaker 1: have like a three hour layover and somehow my gate
35:59
Speaker 1: got changed Internet National and that didn't go well once
36:02
Speaker 1: I got home, trusting, but how did it change? It
36:08
Speaker 1: changed a lot, I mean professionally, personally. I mean there's
36:13
Speaker 1: a lot of shifts in tone it up. You know,
36:15
Speaker 1: we weren't getting together in the office. I mean everyone
36:18
Speaker 1: was working from home. It was good, you know, we
36:21
Speaker 1: had the fitness app and we did tons of live
36:23
Speaker 1: workout videos to keep everyone's you know, just energy and
36:28
Speaker 1: mental health going and staying connected. I think that was
36:32
Speaker 1: really important during that time for a couple of years,
36:38
Speaker 1: let's see. And then yeah, we actually closed our office
36:40
Speaker 1: in Manhattan Beach too. It's just everyone's remote now even now.
36:44
Speaker 1: So things shifted. We had to make different shifts like that.
36:47
Speaker 1: But with my personal life was it was good. I know,
36:52
Speaker 1: it was easy for Bobby and I to you know,
36:56
Speaker 1: be on quarantine together. You know, there was a lot
37:00
Speaker 1: of struggle in some relationships during that time. Many many
37:03
Speaker 1: people struggled, but I know we know how to give
37:06
Speaker 1: each other space. So, yeah, that was a really weird
37:12
Speaker 1: time in our world.
37:14
Speaker 3: A really weird time.
37:16
Speaker 1: It's a weird time. I don't even it seems like
37:19
Speaker 1: so long ago. Like life is so different in the
37:21
Speaker 1: way that we do business, in the way just everything.
37:26
Speaker 3: Truly truly.
37:28
Speaker 2: You you talked about closing your Manhattan Beach office. You
37:33
Speaker 2: also talked about the decision to show up and do
37:38
Speaker 2: live workouts throughout that time. Something I always like to
37:42
Speaker 2: talk to people who are energy dealers, as I will
37:45
Speaker 2: call people like you and myself who show up in large,
37:49
Speaker 2: in big ways for their community, is how it felt
37:52
Speaker 2: for you to be dealing that energy while there was
37:55
Speaker 2: so much, so much uncertainty within your own life. How
37:59
Speaker 2: did you at time make sure that you could also
38:01
Speaker 2: take care of yourself so that you could then show
38:04
Speaker 2: up for others.
38:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've learned how to do that. I'm an extroverted introvert, yeah,
38:12
Speaker 1: and if that's the term, but I love obviously talking
38:17
Speaker 1: to people and meeting people and doing in person events.
38:20
Speaker 1: And you know, I went on my book tour in
38:22
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, twenty twenty one. But I just know, like
38:26
Speaker 1: if I'm giving that energy, which I love doing, I
38:30
Speaker 1: know that afterwards, I'm by myself, and that's that's what
38:36
Speaker 1: I do. I like when we went on that big
38:38
Speaker 1: Tone It Up tour in twenty seventeen, it's little sleep,
38:42
Speaker 1: going fifteen cities and thirty days. Afterwards, I just I
38:45
Speaker 1: like to go to my hotel room and order room service.
38:48
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
38:49
Speaker 2: And I think getting to a place where you understand
38:52
Speaker 2: what routines actually fill you up is so special. I'm
38:56
Speaker 2: very much the same after a big event, a big
39:00
Speaker 2: hosting opportunity, anything where there's like some sort of a
39:03
Speaker 2: community meet up if it's local to New York City.
39:06
Speaker 2: I have my favorite restaurant that I go to and
39:08
Speaker 2: I bring a notebook and I sit there with a
39:11
Speaker 2: glass of red wine and my favorite pasta and just
39:14
Speaker 2: debrief alone. And that's my time to just reclaim my
39:18
Speaker 2: own space. So I really really resonate.
39:21
Speaker 1: With that, yeah, and not feeling guilty for it. And
39:26
Speaker 1: you know, sometime's been like what Karina doesn't want to
39:28
Speaker 1: go out to the club in Miami after the retreat.
39:31
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't no hatred towards any of you,
39:36
Speaker 1: anybody here, but Karina's got to go sit in silence.
39:40
Speaker 3: She's gonna go to night night.
39:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, talk to us a little bit about boundary setting. Then,
39:45
Speaker 2: For someone who may struggle with keeping their boundaries, knowing
39:49
Speaker 2: what feels good but having a hard time articulating that
39:52
Speaker 2: to others for fear that it might upset someone, what
39:55
Speaker 2: advice do you have for someone about setting smart boundaries.
40:00
Speaker 1: Yes. I used to let myself just say yes to everything, yes, yes, yes,
40:08
Speaker 1: and then I in therapy, actually probably six years ago,
40:11
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to do these things
40:14
Speaker 1: and I keep saying yes, not that I they're all
40:16
Speaker 1: great or sometimes I don't, but that I'm uncomfortable with
40:21
Speaker 1: that situation. And I had to learn boundaries of just
40:23
Speaker 1: saying no and it's okay and just practice it. I
40:27
Speaker 1: would say, it's really hard the first time you say
40:30
Speaker 1: I think the first time I said no, I was
40:32
Speaker 1: like like shaking my throat closed up, like I don't
40:37
Speaker 1: want to like no, it's just I'm not feeling like
40:41
Speaker 1: that's what I want to do for this holiday. So
40:46
Speaker 1: I love you, but it's just not not in my cards,
40:49
Speaker 1: you know. And then it gets easier and then it
40:51
Speaker 1: could upset someone else, But that's okay. You know, you're
40:54
Speaker 1: not being a jerk. It's just that the them being
40:58
Speaker 1: upset is not because of you. And so then the
41:02
Speaker 1: more you can set boundaries or say hey, stand up
41:05
Speaker 1: for something like hey, maybe we just do this project
41:08
Speaker 1: this way, it makes I think this is, you know,
41:10
Speaker 1: just speaking up for yourself. You know. Even I have
41:14
Speaker 1: a lot of friends who come through Austin and people
41:17
Speaker 1: I know and you know, want to do a lot
41:20
Speaker 1: of stuff, and sometimes I'll just be like, like even
41:22
Speaker 1: recently and like I just got done with the holiday
41:25
Speaker 1: season and I was go, go go for like six weeks.
41:28
Speaker 1: I'm going to do nothing this weekend.
41:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it doesn't change that I care about you
41:34
Speaker 2: in this instance. It doesn't mean that I don't. It
41:37
Speaker 2: just means that this is what I need to do
41:39
Speaker 2: for myself right now. And I hope that you can
41:41
Speaker 2: understand that. And I believe that in the relationships that
41:44
Speaker 2: really matter, they do understand that. Right Your people are
41:48
Speaker 2: never going to question whether or not you care about
41:51
Speaker 2: them or your intentions. And that's something that my college
41:56
Speaker 2: roommates said to me once when I was struggling with
41:58
Speaker 2: a newer friendship didn't feel so easy and made me
42:02
Speaker 2: feel like I wasn't enough and she said that to me,
42:05
Speaker 2: She said, I know you, and I know your heart,
42:08
Speaker 2: and I will never doubt that you have the best
42:11
Speaker 2: intentions for me and our relationship. That doesn't mean that
42:14
Speaker 2: I'm always going to agree with everything you say or
42:17
Speaker 2: everything that you want to do or understand one hundred
42:19
Speaker 2: percent every time where you're coming from, but that means
42:23
Speaker 2: I'm always going to support you in whatever you decide
42:27
Speaker 2: is best for yourself.
42:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great, And there's we always talk about burnout
42:32
Speaker 1: with work or something, but there is a thing called
42:36
Speaker 1: social burnout as well, so especially after holidays and families
42:42
Speaker 1: and friends like that. That is a term I google.
42:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's totally a term.
42:46
Speaker 2: I'm also guilty of not using no as a complete
42:50
Speaker 2: sentence although it is and I do get the people
42:55
Speaker 2: pleaser in me. It's like no, but and then I
42:58
Speaker 2: like offer some sort of a solution or something of
43:01
Speaker 2: the sort. And I would say that in twenty twenty three,
43:04
Speaker 2: I definitely did get better at allowing no.
43:08
Speaker 3: To be a full sentence.
43:10
Speaker 1: That's so funny. And last Christmas twenty twenty two were
43:16
Speaker 1: Bobby and I were in Tell Your Ride and he
43:17
Speaker 1: bought me a shirt there and it says no, it
43:20
Speaker 1: is a complete sentence. He's like, this is you. You
43:26
Speaker 1: need this.
43:28
Speaker 2: I would imagine that we talked about fifteen years have
43:30
Speaker 2: toned it up. I would imagine that burnout certainly is
43:33
Speaker 2: something that you've experienced a few times.
43:36
Speaker 3: Yeah.
43:37
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I had this discussion on my podcast with the
43:40
Speaker 1: guest a few weeks ago. And her career was in
43:45
Speaker 1: dance and mine is in fitness, and she's on dance
43:48
Speaker 1: from the Stars, in the stage and like all this stuff.
43:50
Speaker 1: But there comes this time where you're like wow, like
43:54
Speaker 1: it's so much and in the public eye all the time,
43:59
Speaker 1: and you know, she quit dancing for a while, and
44:04
Speaker 1: then she came back and she's like, I felt like
44:06
Speaker 1: it became a job my passion and why I did
44:09
Speaker 1: something I wasn't enjoying anymore. And I definitely and I
44:12
Speaker 1: allowed myself when you talk about Reddit, but when I
44:16
Speaker 1: decided like maybe I wasn't working out as much, but
44:20
Speaker 1: I was also going through a lot being a caretaker
44:22
Speaker 1: with my mom and this, and I was just burnout,
44:24
Speaker 1: burnt caretaking, burnout, her work, burnout, you know, everything. And
44:31
Speaker 1: I allowed myself to not work out as much. But
44:34
Speaker 1: now I work out a lot more and I'm back
44:36
Speaker 1: in it and I enjoy it and I do it
44:38
Speaker 1: because it just makes me feel good.
44:40
Speaker 3: Wait where did you go with the ret you you
44:42
Speaker 3: were alluded to going on Reddit?
44:44
Speaker 1: Oh? No, oh, because people are like, did create it?
44:47
Speaker 1: Does she work out anymore?
44:49
Speaker 3: I know I was it off.
44:51
Speaker 1: I'm closing the door. Yeah.
44:55
Speaker 2: It reminds me Reddit as a whole is like adult
44:57
Speaker 2: I don't know if when you were in college you
44:59
Speaker 2: had this. And I'm sure I'm going to get DMS
45:02
Speaker 2: about the fact that I'm saying this right now, But
45:04
Speaker 2: when I was in college. I graduated college in twenty ten,
45:07
Speaker 2: I'm thirty five, and we had a website called Juicy
45:10
Speaker 2: Campus and it was like a place you could go
45:13
Speaker 2: to anonymously, like talk about people from your university.
45:18
Speaker 1: No, okay, so I'm so awful. Okay, I'm forty two.
45:24
Speaker 1: And when I was in junior high and high school,
45:29
Speaker 1: we had slam books. Did you have those? Oh?
45:31
Speaker 3: I mean it just sounds like a burn book, like
45:33
Speaker 3: mean girls.
45:34
Speaker 1: It was totally as a notebook that got passed around
45:38
Speaker 1: school and you just wrote mean things about people. I'm like,
45:43
Speaker 1: this is awful, But now it's on the internet.
45:46
Speaker 3: That's the song we Hate a slam book. Although I
45:49
Speaker 3: am excited for the Mean Girls movie.
45:51
Speaker 2: Not paid to say this, but I'm actually really looking
45:54
Speaker 2: forward to going to see.
45:54
Speaker 3: It next week.
45:56
Speaker 1: Close it out next week.
45:57
Speaker 2: I think it might be out today. We're recording this
46:01
Speaker 2: on January eleventh. I think it's out this weekend, so
46:04
Speaker 2: it might be a little MLK Day movie moment for me.
46:08
Speaker 1: That's perfect because I am not making any plans this
46:10
Speaker 1: weekend with anyone, but I am down for a movie.
46:13
Speaker 2: You and I can have our own personal movie days
46:15
Speaker 2: in our respective cities and then come back to talk
46:18
Speaker 2: about it.
46:21
Speaker 3: I love it. So talk to me a.
46:22
Speaker 2: Little bit about what you're excited about now.
46:27
Speaker 1: I am excited about now, just everything that number one
46:31
Speaker 1: with Big Silence had it for two years, and like
46:34
Speaker 1: the things that we're doing. I'm going on a live
46:38
Speaker 1: podcast tour in May. That because I'm releasing my memoir
46:43
Speaker 1: in audible. It's taken me a while, but I'm like,
46:46
Speaker 1: this memoir is with me for my life. It took
46:48
Speaker 1: me five years to write it's so I'm recording that now.
46:52
Speaker 1: So I'm excited about that, Excited about a lot of events,
46:55
Speaker 1: and I just I feel like this lightness has been
46:59
Speaker 1: taken off of me recently, where I'm really enjoying life
47:05
Speaker 1: more and finding joy. I think there's been a lot
47:09
Speaker 1: of release of different things. Obviously, you know when we
47:12
Speaker 1: talk about grief and relationships and parents, it takes time
47:17
Speaker 1: to overcome that and move forward. And I definitely like
47:21
Speaker 1: it's a weird few years emotionally, and I just I
47:26
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just excited about I mean waking I
47:31
Speaker 1: wake up now and I'm like, let's go excited about
47:35
Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm excited about some other projects that I'm
47:39
Speaker 1: not talking about quite yet, just life health.
47:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can really relate to that feeling of when
47:49
Speaker 2: you finally feel as though you're capable to open the
47:52
Speaker 2: drapes when they've been closed for so long. And it's
47:56
Speaker 2: not that the sun wasn't shining outside, it's just that
47:59
Speaker 2: you couldn't give yourself access to it.
48:02
Speaker 3: I really relate with what you're.
48:04
Speaker 2: Saying about waking up and being like, I have so
48:07
Speaker 2: much possibility today instead of thinking, oh, it's just another day.
48:12
Speaker 2: I'd love if you could share a strategy or two
48:16
Speaker 2: that you used when you were in some of your
48:18
Speaker 2: darker moments. Navigating grief. That really helped you stay resilient
48:25
Speaker 2: when it did feel like you were incapable of drawing
48:28
Speaker 2: back the drapes.
48:31
Speaker 1: You know, it's going to be such a simple answer.
48:33
Speaker 1: It's I don't want to do this. I don't want
48:37
Speaker 1: to get up today. Just get up, Just get up
48:42
Speaker 1: and start there. I don't want to meno tape. Okay,
48:45
Speaker 1: two minutes, okay, I can do this. Two minutes all right,
48:48
Speaker 1: already feeling better. I don't want to go work out, okay,
48:52
Speaker 1: just go on a twenty minute walk in nature, okay,
48:55
Speaker 1: turn on a podcast or something, call someone like okay,
48:59
Speaker 1: and then it usually turns into like lifting some weights
49:01
Speaker 1: or do it. You know, it's just the little just
49:05
Speaker 1: tiny little things, that little nuggets that you can actually do,
49:09
Speaker 1: and then you do them, and the more that you
49:10
Speaker 1: do it, the more accomplished you feel. And you're just
49:13
Speaker 1: checking all these things off your list and a little
49:17
Speaker 1: bit more every day, and then maybe one day it's
49:21
Speaker 1: not gonna happen at all, that's okay. It's just the
49:23
Speaker 1: little things that then you'll notice. It may be a
49:27
Speaker 1: year later you're gonna wake up and those curtains are
49:30
Speaker 1: just wide open and you're like, I did this and
49:34
Speaker 1: I got through that, and we're all going to go
49:37
Speaker 1: through that, And don't have any guilt for anything that
49:40
Speaker 1: you're going through emotionally. Just don't give up on yourself
49:45
Speaker 1: and know that you're here for a reason and and
49:48
Speaker 1: we are We're here so you can do anything.
49:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so much power in what you said, this
49:55
Speaker 2: concept of just starting and knowing that so often simply
49:59
Speaker 2: beginning and really be the hardest part. And when we
50:03
Speaker 2: have the tenacity, maybe sometimes the bravery within us to begin,
50:08
Speaker 2: you'll be really surprised what comes after that moment. I
50:12
Speaker 2: think so often we tell ourselves so many stories that
50:14
Speaker 2: prevent us from beginning at all, and so to be
50:18
Speaker 2: able to do that for yourself, it really is something
50:21
Speaker 2: to be proud of.
50:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think when we talk about stories, a
50:25
Speaker 1: lot of stories in our minds because we have our
50:30
Speaker 1: lovely little hamster wheel up here as eighty one hundred
50:34
Speaker 1: thousand thoughts per day, and most of them are not positive.
50:38
Speaker 1: So positive affirmations. We've all heard about that. But when
50:43
Speaker 1: you wake up in the morning and you're like, sometimes
50:45
Speaker 1: I'm just like I am loved, I am excited, I
50:49
Speaker 1: am thankful for my home and my family, my five Pomeranians,
50:53
Speaker 1: like just switching that thought like to something positive. You know,
50:58
Speaker 1: we just got to get out of here and just
51:00
Speaker 1: like here, like let's feel our hearts and don't let
51:05
Speaker 1: the brain, the mind and the thoughts, you know, deterior.
51:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm all about like accessible positive affirmations, Like
51:12
Speaker 2: I think that sometimes we can be inundated with this
51:16
Speaker 2: messaging that is like overwhelmingly positive.
51:20
Speaker 3: Or maybe not really feeling very realistic.
51:24
Speaker 2: And so what you just said, like I am loved,
51:27
Speaker 2: I have wonderful animals, Like there are things that you
51:32
Speaker 2: can say to yourself that are really rooted in fact,
51:35
Speaker 2: that are positive, that give you the boost that you need.
51:39
Speaker 2: And exactly like you said, all of those negative thoughts,
51:41
Speaker 2: like it happens to all of us. So I don't
51:44
Speaker 2: want anyone to think that they're like, oh, I'm just
51:46
Speaker 2: such a negative person, candidly, like most of us technically
51:49
Speaker 2: are negative people, but we choose what happens with them, right.
51:54
Speaker 1: I mean, and I think everyone gets so even with meditation,
51:58
Speaker 1: everyone's gets so overwhelmed with exercise, with meditation, with affirmations,
52:03
Speaker 1: with nutrition, with everything it can be. It doesn't have
52:07
Speaker 1: to be all or nothing. It can just be a
52:09
Speaker 1: little tidbit and then some days it's a ton and then.
52:13
Speaker 3: Back little tidbit.
52:16
Speaker 2: I also appreciate what you said about Okay, maybe it's
52:19
Speaker 2: just a twenty minute walk. Sometimes we have to pivot
52:23
Speaker 2: from the plan, and we can't get mad at the pivot. Rather,
52:26
Speaker 2: you should be proud about the fact that you were
52:28
Speaker 2: willing to do something that's good for yourself.
52:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I feel accomplished. I make my bed
52:34
Speaker 1: in the morning, and I'm like, you go, Krena.
52:38
Speaker 2: Really making your bed is the best thing you can
52:40
Speaker 2: do for yourself to feel accomplished within the first ten
52:42
Speaker 2: minutes of your day.
52:43
Speaker 1: Seriously, Okay, and this I mean the past two mornings.
52:47
Speaker 1: I woke up and I was like, I don't want
52:49
Speaker 1: to make my bed today, and then my head, I'm like,
52:51
Speaker 1: make your bed. Creen I'm like, okay, what is all
52:54
Speaker 1: I'm doing is making my bed? And I made it
52:57
Speaker 1: and I already felt better.
52:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
52:59
Speaker 2: And it's amazing how you'll realize that the positive habits
53:04
Speaker 2: start to accrue once you do one thing in the
53:07
Speaker 2: habit stacking. So for me, for instance, I'm doing dry
53:11
Speaker 2: Ish January. The rule for myself is that I can
53:14
Speaker 2: only drink if I'm going on a date. No, I'm
53:17
Speaker 2: not trying to go on twenty nine dates this month,
53:19
Speaker 2: although it did cross my mind. So I went on
53:21
Speaker 2: one date and I had two drinks. That's my max,
53:26
Speaker 2: and I had that two drinks. So the next morning,
53:28
Speaker 2: I woke up and I didn't want to do any
53:30
Speaker 2: of the things that I have been otherwise doing every
53:33
Speaker 2: single day.
53:33
Speaker 3: So far this month.
53:34
Speaker 2: And I realized that I was like opening the floodgates
53:37
Speaker 2: to a morning that I knew wouldn't fill me up
53:40
Speaker 2: and wouldn't make me feel good.
53:42
Speaker 3: So I started to do exactly what you said.
53:44
Speaker 2: I said, Okay, I'm going to start by doing this
53:47
Speaker 2: five minute breathwork on the open app Then okay, I'm
53:50
Speaker 2: gonna make my bed.
53:51
Speaker 3: Then I'm going to write in my journal.
53:53
Speaker 2: Did these positive habits take me a little bit longer
53:55
Speaker 2: than they usually do that day?
53:56
Speaker 3: For sure?
53:57
Speaker 2: But I remembered how good it feels to get back
54:00
Speaker 2: to myself. And that's why, especially at the top of
54:03
Speaker 2: the new year, when we're having this conversation, it's so
54:05
Speaker 2: important to have a deep why with the things that
54:08
Speaker 2: we're integrating into our routines.
54:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the little things. The other thing I'm and
54:13
Speaker 1: I don't really do it much, but I have a
54:14
Speaker 1: funny story. You know. Mel Robin's her five second girl
54:18
Speaker 1: is it? Five four three two one? And so I
54:21
Speaker 1: was I was up early and my husband was still
54:23
Speaker 1: sleeping like two hours later, and I opened up Instagram
54:27
Speaker 1: and it was like just a couple of days ago,
54:29
Speaker 1: and Mel was there. She's like, are you still in bed?
54:32
Speaker 3: Get up ready?
54:33
Speaker 1: Five four three two one? And like, oh wait no.
54:37
Speaker 1: Before she said that, she's like pointing her dogs. So
54:39
Speaker 1: we're sleeping, She's like, we are not dogs. And my
54:43
Speaker 1: husband's in bed with four dogs. And so I went
54:45
Speaker 1: into the bedroom and I played that really loud for
54:47
Speaker 1: him and he's like, go.
54:52
Speaker 3: Oh that Mel Robin. She gets me every time.
54:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's right though, She's right sometimes you just need
54:58
Speaker 2: like that little push off the ledge to get to where.
55:00
Speaker 3: You want to be. Yeah, all right, Karina.
55:05
Speaker 2: Someone goes to your Instagram page, they see this woman
55:09
Speaker 2: that is the founder of Tone it Up. You're obviously
55:12
Speaker 2: a huge mental health advocate, with two hundred and thirteen
55:15
Speaker 2: thousand social media followers at least on Instagram. When you
55:19
Speaker 2: look in the mirror, what is it that you see
55:21
Speaker 2: looking back at you?
55:25
Speaker 1: I have learned to be so grateful. And I'm going
55:29
Speaker 1: to talk about little Karina again because I am and
55:34
Speaker 1: I say this in No We Go Away, but I
55:37
Speaker 1: am more than what little Karina could have ever dreamed of.
55:42
Speaker 1: So I need to remember that so where I didn't
55:46
Speaker 1: think I would be here.
55:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you when you say that I'm more than
55:51
Speaker 2: she could have ever dreamed of. I think there's so
55:54
Speaker 2: much power in that statement, knowing that you have surpassed
55:59
Speaker 2: even what your what at one time wildest expectations of
56:05
Speaker 2: yourself were you did even mention earlier a suicide attempt,
56:09
Speaker 2: if you wouldn't mind telling us a little bit about
56:12
Speaker 2: how that gratitude has evolved since that moment in your life.
56:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, And when I say more than I ever thought,
56:20
Speaker 1: it's not it's not financial, it's not you know, career,
56:24
Speaker 1: it's it's actual joy and gratitude and like realizing because
56:31
Speaker 1: so my that was that happened when I was twelve
56:34
Speaker 1: years old, and I do write about it in my book.
56:37
Speaker 1: I won't go into detail any details here. And then
56:40
Speaker 1: coming out on the other side was scary. I'm like,
56:44
Speaker 1: it didn't happen, you know, it's very scary. And then
56:47
Speaker 1: that was just the beginning of my darkness, like two
56:50
Speaker 1: years a year in or so. But I always say,
56:53
Speaker 1: it takes a lot more strength and effort to heal
56:58
Speaker 1: yourself and do and take care of yourself and know
57:01
Speaker 1: that there is something greater in you. And how do
57:05
Speaker 1: you get there? You start with the baby steps, And
57:09
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's why I give back so
57:14
Speaker 1: much and find these careers to just help other people
57:19
Speaker 1: live a better life, because you're worthy to be here.
57:22
Speaker 1: I am everyone listening. Ever, just you know, life is
57:27
Speaker 1: what does that stat I hear all the different numbers,
57:29
Speaker 1: four hundred billion chances of being I don't know two
57:32
Speaker 1: hundred Do you know what I'm talking about?
57:34
Speaker 2: Inn certain inspirational quote about our lives and how much
57:37
Speaker 2: potentially happens that.
57:38
Speaker 1: You are here?
57:41
Speaker 2: We're here, you know we're here, and what a special
57:45
Speaker 2: place it is to be for you being here in
57:49
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four, do you have I want to ask
57:52
Speaker 2: you maybe like a word for the year, or like
57:55
Speaker 2: a really solid intention for the next I guess we're
57:58
Speaker 2: a few weeks in now, but overall y to fifty
58:00
Speaker 2: four weeks of the year.
58:04
Speaker 1: I have a word, and it's freedom. Just freedom to
58:09
Speaker 1: be me, freedom to do what you want to do
58:14
Speaker 1: and be a good person. Freedom to make your own choices,
58:17
Speaker 1: freedom to feel happy, freedom to free your mind from
58:21
Speaker 1: any negative thoughts, freedom to love.
58:25
Speaker 3: Just that.
58:25
Speaker 1: I just this freedom, freedom, and not that I didn't
58:30
Speaker 1: have it before, But I'm going to focus on it,
58:32
Speaker 1: like say I don't want to do that, the freedom
58:35
Speaker 1: to say no, being.
58:36
Speaker 2: Intentional about it for sure. What does freedom in your
58:40
Speaker 2: mind feel like to you? Aside from you said that
58:42
Speaker 2: word happy.
58:44
Speaker 1: A lightness, a lightness in my heart and my mind
58:49
Speaker 1: and carrying that through through the day.
58:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh, I want to feel that way each and
58:55
Speaker 3: every day.
58:55
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm going to adopt freedom as my word of
58:58
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. All right, Karina, final question. Right now,
59:03
Speaker 2: you have an opportunity to offer yourself a piece of advice.
59:06
Speaker 2: I'm going to bring it back to when you were
59:09
Speaker 2: in that period of time after the loss of your mother,
59:12
Speaker 2: carrying that grief with you.
59:14
Speaker 3: You have an opportunity to offer yourself a piece of advice.
59:16
Speaker 3: Knowing what you know. Now, what do you tell yourself.
59:23
Speaker 1: It's okay to sit in it. It's okay because this
59:26
Speaker 1: too shall pass.
59:29
Speaker 2: This too shall pass. I'm so so happy we were
59:32
Speaker 2: able to do this. Tell the hurdlers, if they don't
59:34
Speaker 2: follow you just yet, how do they keep up with you?
59:37
Speaker 3: How do they follow along with you? Give us your details?
59:40
Speaker 1: Well? On Instagram it's Karina down. And then for the
59:44
Speaker 1: big silence, it's the dot big Dot silence, and then
59:47
Speaker 1: Karna dot com and the big silence dot com.
59:50
Speaker 3: Beautiful.
59:50
Speaker 2: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast.
59:53
Speaker 2: Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys, next time you