Latest / Hook,Line,&SinkHer / Season 1 Episode 5 Hooked on Hyperfocus: Superpower or Setback?
Transcript
- Jayson St.Croix: Welcome back to Hook Line & SinkHer Her, the podcast where we cast out big questions, real and honest conversations, and occasionally get distracted by whatever shiny object just floated by. I'm Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Okay. Jayson St.Croix: Jayson and joining me, as always, is Dr. Amy St.Croix Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Good evening, Jay. How you doing? I Jayson St.Croix: I'm doing well. How are you doing tonight? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I'm doing great. I am looking forward to our conversation tonight. Jayson St.Croix: Are you really focused for it? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I'm hyperfocused focused. Jayson St.Croix: Perfect. Because today we are talking about something almost everyone with ADHD knows intimately, even if they've never had a name for it, and it's called hyperfocus. You know, that state where you lock onto something so completely that the rest of the world just kind of fades out. Is it a superpower? Is it a setback? Honestly, we probably think it's both, depending on the day. So let's dig in. Dr. St. Croix, let's start with the basics. When we say hyperfocus, what are we actually talking about? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: So hyperfocused focused isn't where we're just like intently working on something, right? Without distraction. If we become hyperfocused focused, we're intensely absorbed on something. And it's not I think the important part is to distinguish the fact that it's just not when focusing is occurring, but it's also the struggle or even the inability to transition out of that space. So, for example, you know, you can be super focused on a project for an hour because you know that's what you set your timer for and that's what you're working on. That's not hyperfocused focused. Hyperfocused focused is when you just become all encompassed and having you know you lose track of time and having that ability to transition to do another task is is just not there it's not it's not able to occur. Jayson St.Croix: So how is that different from d you know, just being really focused? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well, you know, I think that the biggest misconception is that you know, ADHD is the ability or the inability to not be able to focus. When that's actually not true. The difficulty comes within the regulation of attention, right? So we hear attention deficit and we assume that we're short on attention. But for someone with ADHD, the issue is often like where the attention goes, what it captures, and how easy. easily it's being transitioned. So the ADHD brain tends to be much more responsive to things that are, you know, engaging or challenging or like rewarding or even urgent, right? Which I I this is my own thought, but I often wonder if, you know, people who are in career paths that have, you know, those urgent, you know, quick, you know, I'm thinking in my head of, you know, ER doctors like that kind of a thing. Because of that urgent and then ultimately the rewarding piece that goes with it, that when we engage the brain, attention can become incredibly intense when we're fight when we're hyperfocused. And that we have to really remember that stopping that focus requires executive functioning too. So it's not just about the focus itself. It's really about having that difficulty to disengage, be able to shift to potentially another task or you know, even recognizing the passage of time. And that is really that discrepancy between knowing if you're just, you know, hyperfocus focus or if you're hyperfocused focused or if you're just like focused on completing a task. Jayson St.Croix: Right. I I was gonna ask you w so like ADHD, right? Which is often defined by a lack of focus, which you just kinda mentioned. How does that w or why does that also come with this intense form of focus? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well, because it's not the inability to focus and or the attention or this hyperfocus. focus. It's our misconception that when we talk about attention deficit, it's meaning that we can't focus. And that's entirely not true at all. It's about the difficulty to regulate attention for us. So I think that probably where the, you know, where the concept is a bit misconstrued is just by what we actually know, like research know about ADHD, and then how we refer to it as a society. Because as a society, we refer to it as attention deficit, right? But it's not that you don't have the capability to focus. It's not that at all. It's all those other parts. parts and pieces that go into it that causes the hyperfocus. Jayson St.Croix: Gotcha. So real life scenario. I just had a student, ADHD, I don't want to give out too many particulars in my class this afternoon. Super fixated on this clear plastic ball. Right? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: On a clear plastic what? Jayson St.Croix: Ball. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ball okay. Jayson St.Croix: Yep. Spherical object. You know, in middle school we don't try to use that word because we don't want to get, you know, go down that path. But he just couldn't stop focusing on playing with that ball, going back and forth across his desk, running it up the crack of the desk. You know what I mean? I is that just his ADHD or is that hyperfocus? focus? That's not Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: That is not hyperfocus focus. Jayson St.Croix: okay. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Because when the bell rang, what did he do? Jayson St.Croix: Left the room. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Left the room. So he wasn't struggling with all of those other items that I was just talking about. He didn't have difficulty disengaging. He wasn't, you know, unable to recognize the passage of time. He he was he was just you it wasn't it wasn't hyperfocused focused because he didn't have all the other aspects. It was a distraction to him is what it was. Jayson St.Croix: He was he was treating it more like a fidget toy. Gotcha. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Correct. Yes. Yes. Great question though in real life. Jayson St.Croix: Okay, so what does hyperfocus focus usually look like for you? I mean, what kinds of things pull you in like that? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: So I think I could be wrong, but I think that you would say things like planning a vacation are something that I would be hyperfocused focused on. And I love that you asked this question because that's actually not true for me. So I have to know, is that would you have said that was something that I'm hyperfocused focused on? Jayson St.Croix: I do think you spend a lot of time on pricing vacations because I probably hear no less than a thousand different numbers and prices by the time we actually book it and before we actually leave. So I think you do spend a lot of time focusing on airfare, transportation, things of that nature, yes. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, so You said it perfectly. I spend a lot of time on. That does not mean that I'm hyperfocused. So for me, to go back to your original question, for me, hyperfocused only happens in a few different categories. And for me, one of them is law. So if I have multiple documents and I'm trying to do a cross-reference or a cross-walk. Then I'm integrating in you know support from supreme court cases or you know case studies, any of those kinds of things. It's so multi-layered, I become hyperfocused, focused, and it can be the end of the day, and have no concept that it's the end of the day. For me, it's not even about being the end of the day leading work. I have in my time been so late to meetings or not gone at all because I was hyperfocused focused in a law book or on a case study or in a research article or whatever it happens to be. And I literally lose the entire passage of time. And for me, coming out of it is terrible. And I'll tell you why that is. Because I I feel like if I do come out of it, I'm never gonna get back into it to that intense thought process that I'm currently in. And then I feel like I lose it all. And then all those other executive functioning skills come into play where I forget where I am, or you know, I forget my train of thought, all those kinds of things. So So it's really about beyond the intense focus. It really also has to do with the executive functioning skills that bring us out of a hyperfocus focus or you know, some type of piece that we're more than just focused on. Like I focus on shopping for vacations all the time. Jayson St.Croix: I I want you this gonna be challenging for you. I want you to try to remember that answer because I got something coming up for you in a second where that answer is gonna be very relevant. But last week Jen talked about when she goes into that Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yep. Jayson St.Croix: mode at night with her when she culls her photographs, right? Where she can lock she used the phrase lock in. That's where s and she can just lose all sense of time, lose all sense of her surroundings, hyperfocus? So Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yep, hyper-focus. So for her, she's talked to me about this before before. For her, that's a creative outlet. So she's hyperfocused because of the definition of hyperfocused, but for her, that's an outlet as well. Jayson St.Croix: Ca can you hang out of that? Because I actually want to talk to you about that for a minute because there is an upside to this, right? Like there's some genuine some Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Absolutely. Jayson St.Croix: genuine strengths that come out of hyperfocus when it when Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: yeah. Jayson St.Croix: it works in your favor. And that sounds like what you're talking about when we talked with Jen last week. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, absolutely. And it's it's not just about like what we talked about with Jen. I mean, I think we may have mentioned this in past episodes, but I have a good friend who is also a pediatrician. And she and I have talked so much about how often we specifically speak about women, but how really successful women are not just smart. That, you know, a lot of us have either been diagnosed with ADHD or, you know, definitely have some characteristics, or you know, maybe we have it and we haven't been diagnosed. Because that hyperfocus, if you can manage it, it is absolutely a superpower. Absolutely a superpower. Jayson St.Croix: It interesting you say that. because what I was gonna ask you what kind of like tasks or careers, referring back to the answer before that one that you gave me when you lock in, I'm gonna use the phrase lock in when you're doing legal analysis. What so what kind of tasks and careers tend to reward this kind of focus? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well you know, I think s careers in the medical field, right? I mean Jayson St.Croix: I would hope so. Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, I mean think about the perspective, right, of how much schooling is required and how you really do have to quote unquote lock in. That's a superpower, just getting through medical school, right? So you're able to do that if you can harness and you know really manage that that ability. The other part of that is is like I said before, you know, often it's about meeting the those needs, right? Engagement, urgency, and those kinds of things happen within that field, right? Like I think about the field of trauma. There's some type of rush to that, some urgency that makes your brain engage and go. So I would definitely say the medical field. And I'm sure, you know, I could probably mention a few, but I'm sure there's fields that I don't even know about or or you know, think about. But for me, definitely law. Definitely law. It's in a book. It's, you know, it's Jayson St.Croix: I've I've seen you in action, you barely acknowledge the cheese and pepperoni and crackers when you're in your office upstairs when I come in. But I I could tell you're I use the phrase in the zone, but yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Yeah. And it's for me, I mean, I can't speak for everyone, but for me, I would absolutely unequivocally say that my the success that I have had in my lifetime comes from my superpower of hyperfocus. I mean, you lived through those days of me being a school administrator, having two kids playing on a travel hockey team, a boy and a girl. So they were in different directions. You know, they were in school at the time. Well, I think one was in junior high and maybe one was just starting high school and you know I was doing a doctorate degree. I I just recall and I don't know if you do if you recall this or not, but I remember s Saturday nights you would beg me to come out to the fire by the lake when we had friends there and stuff and I would just be like, I can't, I can't. And you would come in hours later and I would be in our home office just going, going on the doctorate. Just, you know, data, analytical, research. And I really wasn't unhappy at all. Like it I it wasn't like I was missing out on something or, you know, that kind of a thing. It was like, man, this is amazing. Look at what I can do. So there's definitely for me, at the end of being hyperfocused focused, there's usually some type of reward for me, which is why I think I do enjoy it so much and I'm able to manage it. You know, even right now today, when I'm zoned in or locked in, on documents for a court case, or I'm prepping, you know, to sit on the stand as an expert witness. That's invigorating for me. And I love that hyper hyperfocus. And in the end, when I'm able to, you know, be successful at whatever I was achieving, that that's a reward. Jayson St.Croix: Since Jen let the cat out of the bag last week, I'm sure our listeners are dying to know are you hyperfocused focused when you're locked in in your chair or on the floor? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I'm pro I'm hyperfocused focused at my desk. But the environment Jayson St.Croix: At your desk? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: definitely matters. It it definitely matters. But the the floor is where I think, not where I work. Jayson St.Croix: Gotcha. I'm surprised you didn't mention career that I would want someone hyperfocused focused with your obsession with travel and that would be my pilot getting me to and from my destination. I want them to block everything out and just get me on the ground safely. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: That's probably true. That's probably true. Jayson St.Croix: Have you seen hyperfocus become a real strength in someone's work or creative life? And let's just think back to Jen last week. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Absolutely. Like I said, it's it's not that it's a bad thing. It's and for some people it is. But if you can learn to manage it in what you want it to do for you, it's a superpower. But again, you that's not easy to do. Jayson St.Croix: I can think of another one. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Are you still back three questions ago? Jayson St.Croix: No. are you talking about the hyperfocus focus, the career? No, I'm Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yes. Jayson St.Croix: I'm thinking about our daughter when she what's the craft where she has to pick the beads and put in the numbers on the mat. Or you know what I'm talking about? She Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: No. Jayson St.Croix: uses the tweezers to get the bead to put on the corresponding spot in the paper. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: The like diamond gem thing? Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Yeah. She gets locked into that and she goes with her creativeness that Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, yeah. Jayson St.Croix: All right. So has there been a moment where hyperfocus genuinely worked in your favor or where it helped you produce something that you're proud of or maybe solve a problem faster than you expected? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: For me, it's absolutely my doctorate degree. Jayson St.Croix: I would agree. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: That is something that I've always wanted. At that point in my career, I didn't need it. That was definitely a want. And we talked about that, right? Because they're not free. Jayson St.Croix: It was a sacrifice we agreed to make. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, so we talked about that on how I didn't need it to continue to excel in the education world in regards to being an administrator. I had all the certifications and qualifications that I needed to do whatever role I wanted to do. But we had talked about how that was a personal goal for me. And even after all those years, it was still a personal goal for me. And it was always in the back of my brain. And I remember you saying to me, just go do it. The time is going to pass anyway. And I got hung up on the cost of it, and then you just kept saying to me, the time's gonna pass regardless. You might as well go do it. And now in my role, I think it's totally different. I don't know that it if I had been in this role before, I don't know that it would have been just personal. There would have been some professional value to it. But yeah, I would say that my hyperfocus, that is my absolute greatest achievement based off of the hyperfocus management that I'm able to do. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah, just being on that journey with you by your side and supporting you. I don't want to boast or puff my chest out too bad too too much, but I'm super proud of you for that. And I saw how much work you put into it. You did a great job. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Thank you. Jayson St.Croix: But now for the flip side, because with hyperfocus, it doesn't always show up when you want it to, right? And it doesn't always leave when you need it to either. Okay. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: No. No. Jayson St.Croix: So what does it cost people when hyperfocus takes over at the wrong time? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well, and I'm not saying this has never happened to me because this this does happen to me. You know, as much as I say I can manage it, there's times when I don't know that I'm doing a great job because honestly, I will lose sleep over not necessarily focusing on something that I'm working on, but it's more about like the fixation of a thought. So loss of sleep is definitely a factor for some people. I think that just, you know, responding to others, regardless if it's in real-time capacity or email capacity, but I really think there's that part of you know, jeopardizing family time or time with others because you just get so immersed and so into it that you you know, you don't realize I don't want to say you don't care, but you kind of don't realize it and you don't really care and it's bath time and then it's bedtime and then it's you know it's story time and you weren't part of any of that. So and I'm speaking of course for myself with a doctorate, I did miss out on some of those things. And sometimes I didn't. I mean it wasn't always, but I think those are the kinds of things that you really lose. And depending on how hyper focused you can be, it can definitely be, you know, loss of relationships for sure. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. It's interesting you said that 'cause I had three lined up for you just in case you didn't give me the answer that I kinda wanted, which you you which you did a great job. I I was gonna say relationship, meals and sleep. Right? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, yeah. And I'm not really a big eater anyway, you know that. Like I'd rather eat like you had joked, I'd rather have cheese and crackers, and some popcorn for dinner than to sit down and eat steak and potatoes. That's just me and it's always been me. So for me, that's not quite so big. Really, because honestly, you're bringing me food most of the time. But definitely for me, I would say loss of sleep and loss of family time for sure. Jayson St.Croix: I think we talked about that in episode two about myths where you just can't turn your brain off. W Once you get in that yeah. What so why is it so hard for you to why can't you just stop it? Why why is it so hard for you to come out of it once you get into that hyperfocus mode? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well, that's an executive functioning skill. To be able to transition out of it, that's part of executive functioning. And of course we know that ADHD often affects our executive functioning. So you're like it's like a battle on both ends, right? You're in it because of the ADHD, and you can't get out of it because of the ADHD. So, but yeah, that that's why it's it takes executive functioning skills to transition out of it. Jayson St.Croix: Okay, I'm gonna put you on the spot. This is gonna be a tough one. Whether or not you're gonna be willing to admit it or not. Has hyper Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Okay, I'm ready. No, I might not. Jayson St.Croix: has hyperfocus focus ever gotten you into trouble or made you miss something important because you were locked into something else entirely? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yes. Jayson St.Croix: That you want to admit? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well, I think that I think as a young administrator Hyperfocused focused on being successful. And I know that's not necessarily what we're originally talking about. We're talking more about like a project or a situation or whatever. But becoming hyperfocused on being a successful administrator when I was a young administrator, I think definitely cost me. I remember some pretty frank conversations with my husband about the amount of time that I would spend in the building. The amount of time that I would spend at home on the work, the, you know, things I wasn't participating in because I could do this just this much better. Or, you know, I had to do something, I just kept adding to my own plate in an attempt to, you know, I was so hyperfocused focused on that success. But I think even like I don't know that this is entirely my fault, which is why I keep going back and forth in my brain. Because I do remember this night very, very clearly in my mind. I remember working on something and knowing that I had enough time to finish the task. And I remember being ridiculously, you know, involved in it, not really paying attention, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I remember a phone call came through. And it was that phone call that kind of disengaged me because our daughter had mentioned that her senior night had already started. And I was still in my office. And I missed that senior night. I I never saw our daughter have a senior night for sports. And I feel like that was my fault, but in reality, there's a realistic part of me that says the time changed. She was notified by some ridiculous group chat. Never told the parents and our daughter with ADHD never told her parents and because the school didn't communicate with the adults, then we just didn't know, right? Like it wasn't like it went out on a bulletin or a Parent Square or something like that. It was just within the group chat for kids. And she didn't tell us. And because I was so fixated on that task and not thinking about, gee, I could head out early. I wasn't. I totally lost track of time and didn't have to move until a s you know, a specific space. And I missed her senior night. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah, I remember that night. I literally worked right down the street from where she went to school and I barely made it on time because of the change. Yep. So if hyperfocus focus isn't something you can just switch on and off, how do you work with it or do you embrace it or do you fight it? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I for me, I don't if I know that something's gonna cause me to be hyperfocused focused, which I do, I mean, trust me, let's be honest. I'm not doing accounting or doing a math problem and becoming hyperfocused. That is not happening for me. So, but I know that if I have like say I'm helping an attorney prep for a hearing. That is thrilling to me. And I know that will cause me to be hyperfocused. So sort of like what I was referring to last episode, where I give myself, you know, a little bit, I do something I don't want to do, and then I give myself a little treat, and then I do something I don't want to do, and then I give myself a little treat. So for me, knowing that that task is not only gonna be something that I'm gonna hyperfocus focus on, but that I'm gonna enjoy, right? So for me, I would do something else on the to-do list in the in the morning or however my schedule worked and I would leave the larger chunk of time for the task that I most likely will become hyperfocused on. Jayson St.Croix: Would you r recommend people try to manage it or just build the life that makes room for it? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I g I I think it has to depend on how well you can regulate it, right? Like I mean, if it's if you for me, I couldn't just do it on a whim, but that's my personality, right? We know someone else who just goes where the wind blows. How often do we hear that, right? He's not Jayson St.Croix: yeah. Every weekend. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: going to plan that or manage that. So I I don't think that it's a I think it's a personal preference, more so than anything. But I really try to manage where I put it in a day. Like I'll give you another example. If you are gonna get out of school at a regular time on your school day, I'm not gonna start a task that potentially is something that I would be interrupted with in the afternoon. But if I knew that you had, you know, you know, you were doing after school work, you had a game or, you know, curriculum work after school and you weren't going to be home until later in the evening, I would absolutely start a task like that. So I really think it's knowing yourself and really doing what's right for you. Jayson St.Croix: What's one thing that's helped you personally either ride that wave of hyperfocusedness or that helped you or that can help you pull yourself out of it when you get into that hyperfocused state? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I honestly I think it's the answer I just shared with you. It it's about knowing what's what's gonna cause me to be hyperfocused and putting it in my schedule. I don't wanna say I'm scheduling hyper you know, to be hyperfocused, but I kinda think I am. Jayson St.Croix: So last question I have for you, Dr. St.Croix Do do timers, alarms, or other people play a role in pulling someone out of hyperfocus focus if they need it? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I mean it could because it's gonna support those executive functioning skills. I mean I often will use a timer just because the simplicity of, you know, sometimes I don't have the time. But I mean, if we're talking about things that are like, you know, I think about things like activities that people can become hyperfocused focused on, you know, so it's not work-related things, it's things like, you know. Video games, for example, that might be one. I mean you do you need a timer for that? I don't know. Again, it's a personal thing. You know, are you are you trying to play video games when you have something else to do, or is this something that you're doing as relaxation at the end of a day? Is this something that you maybe start Saturday morning and you play for eight hours straight and you do nothing else on Saturday? Is that a problem? You know, for some people that's a huge problem. For other people, it it's not a problem at all. So I'm I mean I don't know. I mean I guess it could help you for sure because those help with executive functioning, but I don't know that I'm necessarily going around like, hey, I need a timer because I'm gonna get hyperfocused focused on this. Jayson St.Croix: You you actually made me think of another one, so I lied, I got another question for you. So Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: great. Jayson St.Croix: when and I'm gonna use this phrase, when you're doom scrolling on TikTok, is that Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yes. Jayson St.Croix: hyperfocus? focus? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: No. Maybe. I don't know. So I do know what you're talking about. Absolutely. Yes. Yes. I yeah. Yes. Yes. So for me, Jayson St.Croix: How is that different? You know what I'm talking about though. Because people can get locked into whatever it's Snap, Insta, TikTok Tok and they just sit there in their doom scroll and going down rabbit holes left and right. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: and I've said this to you before, TikTok is I just believe that TikTok is an ADHD individual's Jayson St.Croix: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: dream. There's nothing. Like it's just amazing. It's short and it's quick. And if you don't like it, whoop, you're gone. And you know, the next thing comes up and you don't whoop, you're gone. Like you don't need to comment. You don't need to like if you don't want to. But you know what? If you do want to, all you gotta do is take that that thumb that would go whoop up and twice. And it's like, I mean, it truly is an ADHD's dream. And that's why I think I love it. So much is because you know, let's even just say something ridiculous, like I don't know, cooking videos, right? You don't have to sit there and watch the whole video. Like if it comes up and you don't want it, zip gone. Comes up, you don't you don't like broccoli, zip gone. Like I love that. Jayson St.Croix: I'm sure you do 'cause I'm sitting here chuckling how often do cooking videos come up on your feed? Yeah, I didn't think so. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I have never seen a cooking video on my feed Jayson St.Croix: And I would also like to disagree with you on this thing. When you come across the Hook, Line & SinkHer social media post, you should definitely be hitting the like every time you see one of our posts. Give us that thumbs up Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha shesh Jayson St.Croix: and comment. You're not you're not just whipping past that. You're watching that, right? We l Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, yeah. Jayson St.Croix: we actually we actually love the engagement that we've had with the people that have been commenting on our stuff. It's been really this this ride has been Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Super fun. You know what Jayson St.Croix: Yeah, it's been fun. I agree. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: though? There's a good punch to my ego in this. Because I like try to share as much as I can that's in my brain, right? To help other people and to you know, give other strategies and share what I know, right? Share what I know. And the most comments we got is off from is off from my problem with Hobby Lobby. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Well maybe that should tell you something. All right. So I think the real takeaway here is hyperfocus isn't good or bad on its own. It's just a tool and like any tool, it depends on how and when it gets used, right? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, I mean it's it's awareness that that's what this is all about. It's all about awareness. And you know, if you're finding that you're hyperfocused and it's causing negative reactions, regardless of those what those might be, and at any age, right? Like it can be absolutely anything, then that's a problem. That's a problem. if you really can manage it. It can it can bring about some great successes. And I'm not just talking about in careers, right? We have some parents who are hyperfocused. You know, as moms, there's some of us with, you know, our personalities that are more hyperfocused than others. That's a good thing and that's a bad thing. Like it really depends on how you're managing it. Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah, I would agree with that. All right. So before we wrap things up, you know what time it is. It's time once again for our tangent of the week, where every episode we'll share one of those particular moments that perfectly captures the wonderful, unpredictable nature of living with someone with ADHD. So, Dr. St. Croix, you ready for this week's picture? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, I really, I really feel like the tangent of the weeks, though, because like I don't know this stuff, right? Like I don't create a script. I don't know what's coming up. Like you just asked me this stuff, right? So I'm really beginning to think that the tangent of the week is really just the dirt on me. I I'm not sure. Jayson St.Croix: Sure. We Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I'm not sure. Jayson St.Croix: I'm just letting the audience know what it's like living with someone that is very successful, that has ADHD and likes to get hyper focused and plan 8,000 cruises. So yes, this is my Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Is this a therapeutic outlet for you? Jayson St.Croix: therapy. Everyone needs everyone needs a Flynn, right? This this Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, right. Jayson St.Croix: is my Flynn. Okay. You sit down to answer one work email. Just one. You got five minutes before your next meeting. But that email mentions a project from three months ago. So you open the folder, check on it, which reminds you of a spreadsheet that you never finished formatting, which somehow turns into a two hour deep dive in how to use conditional formatting and alternating colors to make pretty tables in Google Sheets that you did not know that you were capable of building. You surface from it feeling like a spreadsheet wizard, except you missed the meeting and you still haven't answered that email. How close is that to reality? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Email's definitely a problem. I mean, that's close because I have this awful, I don't even know what it's called. But I'll go open my email and then I obviously I check all the junk. Check it, trash it, done. Then I open up the first email and I'm like, this is requiring a task. So I start working on the task. And then I'm like, I was checking emails. So then I go back and I check the next email and I'm like, this requires a phone call. I got time, I'll do it right now. So I pick up the phone and I call. And then while I'm on the phone, I'm still checking my email. And then what happens is the next email requires a task. So while I'm on the phone and I'm trying to finish the second task, I start the third task. And then it dawns on me I was working on the first task. Like that happens all the time. Email for me is an enormous distraction. And The bigger that the firm has gotten, I think the more that I've struggled with it. Because I know you know this because you live with me, but I want every single client. It doesn't matter if they're a family, if they're a law firm, if they're a doctor's office, it doesn't matter. I want every single client to feel like they are our only client. So what I do is I try to get the stuff back right, like let them know, let them know. And I have this anxiety that if I have not answered an email, specifically a parent, if I haven't answered them in two, three, four hours, I need to respond to them, letting them know that I'm busy, but I will update them immediately and await my communication. Like email for me is a tangent within itself. I mean, I hate Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: it. Jayson St.Croix: And then every time you transition between a phone and an email or a tab, that's just another opportunity for you to see a shiny object. Too bad AOL went out of business because you would have been a poster child for every commercial th that thinks a text message means an instant message. But that is why you do have the relationships and the rapport with your parents and your clients that you do work because you treat each one of like they are your only client. Yep. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, and and I've always wanted to do that, regardless if they're an organization or they're a family. that's just what we talked about, right? When when we started this. Like that's what we wanted. So I really do find myself, I mean, it it it's it's tough. And I maybe I'm talking about it you know, so intensely because it was really difficult for me today. I feel like there's people waiting on me right now that have emails sitting in my inbox and I just it's it's tough for me to know they're just sitting there. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah, you're lucky you got a good chauffeur and a good cook. All right. That's a wrap on today's episode of Hook, Line, & SinkHer Her. If today's conversation resonated with you, be sure to subscribe. Drop us a review, share it with someone who has once again resurfaced from a three-hour project that they didn't plan on starting because they went into hyper focus. Next time we're heading into a topic that touches almost every relationship in our lives, ADHD and how it shows up with the people closest to us. So until next time, keep casting, keep learning, and remember, sometimes the best catches happen when you least expect them.