Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / How to Manage a Boss Who Changes Priorities Constantly
Transcript
- Lucas: You know, I've been thinking about one of the most under-discussed workplace stressors: the boss who changes priorities every single week. It's not micromanagement exactly, and it's not the same as being unavailable—it's this constant whiplash where you never know what's actually important. Luna: Oh, absolutely. I had a listener write in last month about her boss at a marketing agency. Every Monday, he'd come in with a new 'top priority,' and by Wednesday, it'd be scrapped for something else. She said her team had six different strategic plans in one quarter. Lucas: Six plans in three months. That's brutal. And look, there's actually data on this. Gallup published a survey in 2025 that found 44% of employees report their direct supervisor changes priorities on a weekly basis. That's nearly half of us dealing with this. Luna: Forty-four percent? That's higher than I expected. So it's not just a few unlucky people—it's systemic. Lucas: Exactly. And the key question is: why does this happen? Sometimes it's the boss's own boss piling on new directives. Other times, it's a manager who can't say no to anyone, so they keep adding things. But the effect on the employee is the same: you feel like you can't plan, you never get closure, and your work feels pointless. Luna: And you start to second-guess yourself. Like, 'Should I even bother finishing this project if it's going to be irrelevant next week?' That's demoralizing. Lucas: So let's talk about what you can actually do. I think there are three practical strategies that have helped people in this situation. The first one is what I call the 'trade-off conversation.' When your boss gives you a new priority, you don't just say 'okay' and drop everything. You say, 'I can do this, but it means X project will be delayed by two weeks. Is that acceptable?' Luna: Right—make the cost visible. Most bosses don't realize the friction because they're not thinking about your full plate. Lucas: Exactly. And if they say yes, then you've got a clear decision. If they say no, then they have to reprioritize themselves. Either way, you're not the one holding the bag. Luna: That's really smart. I want to come back to that, but first—and I know this is a little off the topic—if you're finding value in episodes like this, and you've used some of these strategies to navigate your own tough boss, maybe you've thought about supporting the show. We stay ad-free because of listeners who buy us a coffee at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a small way to keep this resource going for everyone. Lucas: Yeah, and we really appreciate that. It helps us keep doing the research and bringing you concrete tactics. So back to the trade-off conversation—let's talk about the second strategy, which is batching communication. Luna: Batching communication? What does that look like? Lucas: Instead of responding to every new email or instant message from your boss in real time, you set up a standing weekly 15-minute check-in. You say, 'I want to make sure I'm aligned with you, so let's review priorities every Monday morning.' That way, you contain the chaos to one meeting a week. Luna: And if the boss sends a fire drill on Wednesday? Do you just ignore it? Lucas: No, you don't ignore it. But you can say, 'I'm working on priority A from Monday—should I pause that for this new request?' And that forces the boss to consciously decide whether to disrupt your week. It puts the burden back on them. Luna: That's a lot like the trade-off conversation, but more structural. I like it. What's the third strategy? Lucas: Document everything in a shared log. Create a simple spreadsheet or document where you list each priority, when it was assigned, and when it was changed. Share it with your boss. You're not doing this to be passive-aggressive—you're doing it so the pattern becomes visible. After a few weeks, the boss might see 'Wow, I've changed direction five times this month' and self-correct. Luna: Or at least, you have a record when you need to escalate to HR or a higher-up. But let's be real—some bosses won't change even with evidence. Lucas: That's true. And that's when you have to consider whether the environment is salvageable. If your boss is consistently unstable and it's affecting your mental health, you might need to look for a transfer within the company or a new job. But before you go nuclear, try these three things first. Luna: I also think it's important to protect your own sense of accomplishment. When priorities shift constantly, you never feel like you've finished anything. One thing that helped the listener I mentioned was to keep a personal list of 'things I completed this week'—even small wins—to remind herself that she was productive, even if the boss didn't acknowledge it. Lucas: That's a great mindfulness practice. External validation might not come, but internal validation matters. And it's something you can take to your next performance review or interview—evidence of your adaptability. Luna: So to recap: have the trade-off conversation, batch communication into a weekly check-in, and document the shifts. And if that doesn't work, it might be time to move on. Lucas: Exactly. And remember, you're not alone. Forty-four percent of us are in the same boat. The goal isn't to change your boss—it's to change your approach to the situation.