Latest / The Touch of a Mustang / What I Wish I’d Known Before Adopting a Mustang | Episode 49

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What I Wish I’d Known Before Adopting a Mustang | Episode 49 · The Touch of a Mustang

0:00
If there's one thing I want everybody to know about
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Mustangs, you will be more successful if you create a
0:07
partnership where you are working together instead of a
0:11
control based relationship where you are always yielding and
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working towards your own agenda. A partnership means that both
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sides have a voice and that means that you are communicating
0:24
that you are understanding what they're feeling, what they're
0:27
needing, what they're wanting, and they are learning to
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understand what you're feeling, what you're needing, what you're
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wanting, what your goals are. It is a tricky balance.
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It's a lot easier to just say it's going to be control based.
0:39
We are going for a trail ride today.
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We are going to go this direction.
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We are going to go to this competition.
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We are going to get in the trailer today and to do whatever
0:49
you can to make that happen. That may or may not work with a
0:52
Mustang. There are healers on this planet
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with the power to soften the suffering of mankind if they
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have remained in the recesses of the world, abused, discarded and
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labeled as trash. This is the touch of a Mustang.
1:06
I am your host, Shalise Clough, and I'm here to tell the story
1:11
of wild horses, Mustangs, and the humans who are discovering
1:15
and sharing their gifts while working to protect their
1:17
well-being and preserve their spirit so this divine power
1:22
won't be lost. Join us on this quest with the
1:25
Wild Mustang. Welcome back to the Touch of a
1:33
Mustang. It has been a minute.
1:35
I have not had the chance to get on here as much as I would like
1:39
to super busy headed in the summer with graduations and
1:45
birthdays and a brand new schedule.
1:49
So it's been a little bit, but I'm back and I have been
1:52
thinking about things that can be put on the podcast that will
1:57
really be helpful to Mustang owners and people who are
2:01
interested in Mustangs. And that is going to be the
2:06
focus for the summer is providing some resources to help
2:10
owners and anyone who's interested in helping the
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Mustang and other horses in need in any way possible.
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So today I wanted to talk about some of the things that I wish I
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would have known before I adopted my first Mustang.
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Some of the things I feel like if I had known would have helped
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make the process a little bit easier.
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So to start with, I want to talk about why people adopt Mustangs
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and the majority of people who bring a Mustang into their life
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really want to find success with their horse.
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A lot of these are private homes.
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Some are people who want to take the Mustang and train it and
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then find a home for it. There are others who are trying
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to make a business out of this, bringing a horse, training them
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and moving them into a home. Many of us who are attracted to
3:01
the Mustang have this dream or this ideal in our mind,
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especially those of us who are adopting a Mustang for personal
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purposes. And that is what I did.
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I wanted a horse. I chanced upon Mustangs.
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I didn't know much about them. I just saw my mare online.
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So I kind of learned about them after the fact and didn't really
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know what I was getting into. But the more I learned about
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them, the more it grew in my mind that there was this
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beautiful dream that I would bring this wild horse into my
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home and have this incredible connection.
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And I can't say that's exactly what did happen.
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It's been an incredible experience, but it did not
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happen the way I thought it would happen.
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A lot of us grew up seeing all these really magical movies of
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the black stallion, the Man from Snowy River, where individuals
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have these incredible connections with horses, and I
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will say that's 100% possible, but it does not happen in movie
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time. The other thing that really
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influenced this idea in my mind was a lot of the things I've
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seen online and a lot of the people, a lot of the people who
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are online are professional trainers.
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Many of them are working with Mustangs for different events
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and programs. And so those are the clips that
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you see online, and they once again show this Mustang that is
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wild and scared and fearful, turning to this incredible
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obedient horse, doing anything the rider wants it to.
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Now, when I went into training my Mustang, I didn't have such
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lofty expectations. I really just wanted some safe
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horses to ride with my kids. So of course, I got a Mustang.
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What else would you get? That's maybe not the best route
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to go if that's what you're wanting, is just a safe
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mechanical horse for your kids. I think the way to go for that,
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whether it's for your kids or for yourself, is to get a been
5:00
there, done that horse that has had a lot of experience with
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humans. I would get a Mustang.
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If you want to learn a lot and want an adventure.
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Let me talk about some of the things that really are things
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I've learned or wish I would have known when I got a Mustang.
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And let's start with safety, because the nature of
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interacting with wild animals, with animals who haven't had
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experience in the human world, is that there is a lot of fear
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and insecurity involved. And with Mustangs, depending on
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the level of interaction they've had with humans when they come
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into your home, that can vary a lot.
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I have seen stories of Mustangs who you know, the person touches
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them within 15 minutes. Even when I visited the BLM
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Krells with my first Mustang, there was this little yearly
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Mustang and he was just up in everybody's business.
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He wanted to touch and be close to everybody.
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That is a very different Mustang and a very different approach
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that you would need to take than the Mustang who was maybe
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gathered older, hasn't been in holding very long or other
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situations like that where their experience with you is going to
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be some of their first interactions.
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They've all had experience when they were gathered and those are
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very high intensity experiences and then that experience can
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really vary depending on how long they were in holding, how
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old they were when they were gathered and different things
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like that. It's important to go in
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understanding that there is a chance this horse will be so
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fearful, it will be fighting for its life and you need to present
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your interactions in such a way that it can lead to them
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learning that they are in a safe place.
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It doesn't feel safe for a lot of them.
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Of course, of utmost importance is to follow the standards that
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the BLM set forth, one of those being the corral height, which
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is a six foot corral. And I've seen people come up
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with all different ways to achieve the six foot height.
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But I do think that it is really important to have a secure
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enclosure. So your fence can be 6 feet
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high, but if it's not secure, it may not matter.
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I saw an example when an individual had had a six foot
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high fence, but it was something the Mustang could breakthrough
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and the Mustang got away. And when they get away, they are
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running for survival. They are trying to return the
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life they knew, which is a life free of humans.
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So that's going to create a lot of stress and complications,
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especially when you first bring a Mustang.
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And so those 6 foot fences are important.
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I have some really heavy duty preferred fences and they work
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great. When I got my first Mustang, she
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had actually ended up getting halter trained at the prison and
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so I was only required to have 5 feet fences.
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But even that I would be cautious of because there was a
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time when I was not aware of everything she had experienced.
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It was actually right after the 4th of July.
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So there of course had been fireworks all over the area we
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lived in all night long that she was trying to take in and
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understand. And then we had used her water
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tank for a water parade that we used to have in town, and I was
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rolling it back to her crow, which is just really loud, lots
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of banging, and it was just too much.
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It set her over the top and she tried to jump the fence.
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It was terrifying to watch. And so protecting both yourself
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and especially your horses by having a good solid fence is
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really just as important as as it is said to be.
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Because there aren't a lot of regulations the BLM has in
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place, they're pretty minimal in my opinion.
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But that is something that can prevent harm to your animal, to
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yourself, to people around you by having the appropriate setup.
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And I would suggest getting all this stuff in place beforehand.
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A lot of people get Mustangs because they are cheap, but if
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you can't afford a good appropriate setup, then it may
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not be the time for you to bring a Mustang into your home.
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Because yes, there is a low upfront cost, but there is a
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very high financial and especially time investment cost
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down the line. So make sure as part of ensuring
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that your horse is going to be safe and cared for that you
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bring them into your home after you have the appropriate
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facilities. OK, so maybe you have a Mustang,
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maybe you've just learned about Mustangs, or maybe you're really
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contemplating bringing a Mustang home.
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Here are a lot of the things that I wish I would have known,
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things that caused me a lot of doubt and turmoil in the process
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because I didn't understand that one of the first things is that
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you are now this horse's guardian and guide in the human
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world, and that's something that should be taken seriously.
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I truly believe anybody who wants to have that relationship
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with the horse can learn all the skills they need to safely and
10:31
effectively interact with their horse and build a relationship.
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But it is not because of an instant connection.
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It is after you do a lot of work and a lot of education.
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So I am a huge advocate of everybody training their own
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horse, and there's two reasons for this.
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The first reason is because when you learn how to train your
10:57
horse properly, you're setting yourself and your horse up for
11:02
future success. It is really tempting to want to
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just send your horse away for a trainer for thirty, 6090 days.
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And so here you have $125.00 investment, you have three
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months investment and in your mind you might think I now have
11:18
this finished horse. That is most often not reality.
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I won't say that that won't ever work because Mustangs do have a
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lot of variance. One of my Mustangs, I feel like
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that could be a pretty likely scenario that he is pretty easy
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to, to guide and well, to control, to put it bluntly, to
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kind of make him do what you want him to do.
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The trade off is if you approach him that way, he has really
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spiked anxiety and it will show up really suddenly.
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So he'll kind of hold it all in until it's just too much for him
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to handle. He's actually the one most
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people would want, but he is one that I find the most difficult
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to communicate with because he is less reactive is what we
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would call it. But in being less reactive, he
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has a lot less communication. So he might act like he's fine
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and you don't realize he's not fine until he's, you know,
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bolting with you down the road or something like that, or
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bucking, which are two things that he has done with us.
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So I think it's so important and so beneficial.
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It's not the only way you can send your horse to a trainer and
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you may have really good results.
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There are some really good trainers out there.
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And I actually want to talk about that later, especially if
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the trainer is willing to work with you and to teach you.
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That's a trainer that I would say.
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Yeah, that that is one that you want to check out.
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So whether whether you send it to a trainer or decide to do it
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yourself, you are going to need to be ready to learn and to
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develop new strategies and to open yourself up to new
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understanding. Because for me, and from what
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I've heard from a lot of other people, working with a Mustang
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is a different world than working with a domestic horse.
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Again, Mustangs have a lot of variation.
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There may be some horses you can bring in, touch them really
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quick, write them really quick and they're just really level
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headed. That has not been my experience.
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And so for the majority of horses, you are really going to
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have to do some self reflection and dig deep into learning.
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Whether you choose to train your horse yourself or you choose to
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send it away to a trainer, I absolutely think you need to
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have some constant mentorship, that you need to have a
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community that you can lean on. These are two things that were
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absolutely essential to me. I actually reached a point where
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I was pretty discouraged and was thinking of sending my horse
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away to a trainer. I just couldn't find one that
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was a great fit and it wasn't something that was in my budget
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at that time. I got my Mustang wanting to
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train her myself. It's something my mom had done
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with horses, so something I felt like was a possibility.
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But when it got hard, I kind of wanted to bail out and have
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someone just do it for me and bring her back and have her have
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her struggles. The place we're struggling with
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fixed. One problem with this is that I
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am 1/2 of those struggles that we're having.
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That's true with any horse. You are absolutely 1/2 of the
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relationship. So for me, I participated in a
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lot of the Mustang communities and there were a couple of very
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specific times that I got some ideas there that really helped
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me out. It can be a bit tricky because
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there are a lot of strong opinions in it, but you can find
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some good communities and I'm actually going to start building
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my own community. So if that's something you're
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interested in, shoot me a DM or leave a comment and I'm going to
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start working on that. It's been, in my mind, just one
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of those things on my To Do List where it can be a community
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where we can really talk and just just experience the Mustang
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world together and talk about our experiences and what's
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worked well and learn and grow from each other.
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But it's so important to have a community.
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I remember 1 instance specifically, we lived when I
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had my first Mustang in a neighborhood that had a lot of
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dogs. And so there was an easement in
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between the backyards of the houses and that's where I would
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work with my Mustang a lot. And there were so many dogs and
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these huge, great yards for the dogs and they would just rush
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out and bark rapidly at you. Kind of a horse's worst
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nightmare and also my own. And we got to a point where I
15:43
just couldn't regulate myself enough to help Silvani, my first
15:48
Mustang, regulate hers. There were lots of suggestions,
15:51
but the one that worked for us was to start using some treats,
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some reward to get her attention back to me.
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And that's something that we started using and was really
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effective, helped us to progress a lot faster.
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And again, part of that was that I wasn't regulated enough.
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If there had been someone, and maybe even myself now, who had
16:13
worked with Mustangs and was able to have a more neutral
16:17
perspective of the situation, I, I think we could have done it
16:20
another way. But for me, I just had too much
16:24
anxiety. I couldn't talk myself out of
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that. She was going to explode and
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then she would explode and we'd all, you know, be scared and a
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little nervous and OK, a lot nervous and just worried after
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that. So a community can be a really
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great place to get some ideas when you reach those stuck
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points. The other thing that I wish I
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would have known sooner was to get a mentor of some kind.
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Find someone who has done it before.
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I can promise you there are so many people out there working
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with their Mustangs who would be so happy to give you advice and
16:54
support. It's something that I also offer
16:56
at the touch of a Mustang and there are a lot of great people
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I know who do it as well. And it's not even necessarily
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something you always have to pay for.
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It can be following YouTube trainers, following videos,
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finding the things that work well for you, reaching out and
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messaging people. I can think of five people off
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the top of my head that I think anyone can message and they
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would be so willing to help you out, myself included.
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And there was a huge turning point for me where I had been
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working with my Mustang. I had had these visions that,
17:29
you know, I was going to be an extreme Mustang makeover
17:32
trainer, and it was all going to happen in 90 days.
17:35
I would have a Mustang that I could ride.
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And that was not how it was playing out.
17:39
And I had a lot of anxiety that I needed to work through.
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And I was getting to a point where I was really just down and
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frustrated. And then Justin Dunn, who we've
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talked to on this podcast before is a great resource to turn to,
17:55
was doing a clinic at a feed store in my area.
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And so I really just dropped in. It was a busy day.
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I dropped in for like 10 minutes.
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But even in just that time that we talked, he had some resources
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I was able to use some groups I was able to join.
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But the one thing that he told me was that I could do this,
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that I could train this Mustang. And that have been a big
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changing point for me because in the back of my mind, I really
18:21
didn't think I was probably cut out to train a wild horse.
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And so just that shift in mindset and having someone who
18:28
could support me was a big help. So I had that shift in mindset.
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And then also I went and found the resources and tools that I
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needed to bring into my life so that I could change that and
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have the capabilities, have the skills and tools and resources
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so that I was really able to do it.
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And that's, that's really what the message is.
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You are capable of doing it. There are resources out there.
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You have to learn and that is absolutely essential.
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The next thing that almost caused me to give up was having
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all these expectations and this particular timeline that
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everything was going to be done and I felt just this urgent need
19:11
to have this horse that was trained and be able to ride it.
19:15
And the reality was much different.
19:17
I did not put my first ride on my Mustang for a year and there
19:22
were a lot of different factors at play in there.
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It's not like I worked with her every day for a year.
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So that obviously makes a huge difference for me.
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I had a lot of life things that came up in between there.
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I had kids I was trying to take care of.
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I had some health issues in between there.
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And so for me, it was a year from the first ride, but I
19:40
allowed that to fill me with so much shame.
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Like who do you think you are having this wild horse?
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She's not trained to ride. That's why you have horses is to
19:50
ride them. These are all thoughts I had in
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my head. And pretty much you haven't
19:55
ridden there for a year, you're a failure.
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And I actually did the first ride and then it was like 2
20:00
months before I tried again. And then there was another
20:03
hiccup in the road. I had a pretty bad accident on
20:06
another horse and so I couldn't ride for a while.
20:10
So while we are having these, great.
20:12
Great dreams about these wild horses.
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We are also living life and we have to live life.
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We have to go to work, we have to take care of our kids, our
20:18
responsibilities. Unless you're a full time
20:20
professional trainer, that obviously is a different
20:22
scenario. That's what you're doing for
20:24
your work. But if you're someone who's just
20:25
bringing a Mustang in your home, it's absolutely understandable
20:29
that this is not going to be a 90 day experience.
20:32
It's going to be something that's going to take a lot more
20:34
time, especially if you haven't done it before.
20:36
Even if you've worked with domestic horses, if you are new
20:40
to the Mustang world, allow yourself to have time to learn
20:44
and work and grow. And I actually look back on the
20:46
times when I was really diligent and training Sylvani and there's
20:51
some of the best memories because I wasn't going on trail
20:54
rides, which is the vision I had in my head for what I wanted.
20:57
I was just going to the backyard.
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All my kids would come out there, they would swim in the
21:04
stock tank while I would work with Sylvani.
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And you know, we would be getting the smallest things done
21:12
each time. Like 1 I specifically remember
21:15
was like, I would have to be like, because I'd taken her out
21:17
of the Crail several times. And every time we just had this
21:19
blow up. And because she had these strong
21:21
reactions, my nervous system was just fried at the idea of
21:26
bringing her out of the crowd. So we would have days where my
21:29
goal for the day was like, we're going to take one step outside
21:32
of the corral and neither of us are going to lose it.
21:34
And that was our win for the day.
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My timeline was not 90 days. It was not one year.
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I've had her nine years now. I'm still working on stuff that
21:44
we want to do. I'm still working on getting to
21:46
the point where I want to be, but in that we're still able to
21:50
have a lot of really cool experiences.
21:52
Even when it wasn't on her back. Whether that was taking her on
21:55
walks, which is something I highly advocate for with your
21:58
horse, just spending time with them on the ground, taking them
22:01
around to new areas while you're just walking beside them.
22:04
That's something that I really loved doing and has been really
22:08
beneficial to our relationship. But really focusing on the
22:12
experience, not the end goal. I look back on those times where
22:16
it was just on the ground. I was trying to get her to, I
22:18
don't know, step over a log, which I don't know if we ever
22:22
even accomplished. But now we walk over logs all
22:24
the time in the forest. So a lot of things I thought I
22:27
had to do weren't necessarily requirements for success, but I
22:33
go back to those times when I was just training her on the
22:36
ground. We were still working towards
22:38
her being saddle trained. And they're just some of the
22:40
best memories that I have both with her and with my family.
22:44
And it can be a really great thing for it not to look the way
22:48
that you imagined that it would. So like all those expectations,
22:53
set those timelines aside, have that big goal in the end, but
22:57
then set it aside and focus on those little small wins and
23:03
focus on this whole incredible experience that you have a wild
23:08
horse, a horse that was running mild now in your life that you
23:12
get to care for and protect and experience life with.
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That is really cool that I think change everything if you can
23:21
adjust your focus to why you're really doing this, why you
23:25
wanted this experience. And you know, trail rides are
23:28
super fun. We love doing them, but they
23:31
aren't everything. Competition can be great, but
23:35
where it really feels like success is when you overcome one
23:38
of those little obstacles that you've been struggling with.
23:41
And, and that's exactly the next thing I want to talk about is
23:44
that the clips you see on social media in the Mustang makeovers
23:50
in competitions, those are the result of a lot of diligent
23:55
work. Those are the result of people
23:57
who have spent a lot of time and energy determining how they're
24:01
going to approach their horse and the goals that they have
24:03
with their horse. That's the payoff moments.
24:06
Those aren't the moments that are just going to come about
24:09
because you decided to bring a horse into your life.
24:13
Those are the things that come at the end.
24:16
A lot of progress you have may not be super visible.
24:20
It may be little things like we stepped outside the corral and
24:25
neither of us lost our minds. It might be something as small
24:30
as I went into the corral and my horse took a step towards me
24:33
instead of away from me. We don't see those as big
24:36
things. Those aren't usually recorded.
24:38
We don't know they're going to happen.
24:40
We don't necessarily even understand the significance, but
24:45
it is those small things that lead to those bigger successes.
24:49
And so this magical attuned relationship is absolutely
24:57
possible. We can have moments like we saw
25:02
growing up in the Black Stallion, but it comes after a
25:06
lot of time and hard work. And hey, if you're willing to go
25:09
with your horse on an island alone for a month, you probably
25:12
can develop a great relationship.
25:14
Also, that's not the world we're living in.
25:17
So we really have to be realistic in the amount of time
25:20
we're spending, the logistics and the overall experience that
25:24
this is a wild horse coming into a totally new world.
25:28
And so willing to work with us and learn and figure it out.
25:31
If we can offer some grace, if if we can open ourselves up to
25:36
learning and if we can set aside ourselves doubt and really focus
25:42
on this dream that we have to live a life with these Mustangs
25:46
that are being gathered and need a home.
25:48
Another thing that was huge for me is I went in thinking I knew
25:53
a lot about horses, which I find very funny now, but I had horses
25:57
through my teenage years and then, you know, life happens,
26:00
college, marriage, kids, that all took me away from horses.
26:03
But in my mind, I was still the teenager who knew everything
26:06
about horses. And I thought, you know, this
26:08
shouldn't be a big deal. I, I know a lot.
26:11
I also thought, I see all these other people doing it.
26:13
Certainly I can do it. But I had to let go of almost
26:17
everything I knew about horses. Obviously there are some basics,
26:20
what they need to eat much of their care, but there are a lot
26:25
of things that I had to learn to let go of.
26:28
I'll just share a few big ones and not by any means inclusive
26:32
of everything I changed in my perspective.
26:35
And the first one was like, you have to show them who's boss.
26:37
And I learned that one really quick because my Mustang is very
26:40
strong and she is a great communicator, meaning she very
26:44
clearly tells you what she is and isn't OK with.
26:47
And I learned really quick like I'm not going to be able to boss
26:51
this horse around. I'm not going to be able to have
26:54
a control based relationship with her.
26:56
We're going to have to find out other way to do it.
26:58
Now I say that we couldn't. There's still people who try.
27:03
There are a lot of devices out there that are meant precisely
27:07
for that to have control over your horse.
27:11
If there's one thing I want everybody to take away from this
27:14
to know about Mustangs, you will be more successful if you create
27:20
a partnership where you are working together instead of a
27:25
control based or a boss based relationship where you are
27:30
always yielding and working towards your own agenda.
27:35
A partnership means that both sides have a voice and that
27:39
means that you are communicating that you are understanding what
27:43
they're feeling, what they're needing, what they're wanting,
27:46
and they are learning to understand what you're feeling,
27:49
what you're needing, what you're wanting, what your goals are.
27:52
It is a tricky balance. It's a lot easier to just say
27:55
it's going to be controlled based.
27:57
We are going for a trail ride today.
27:59
We are going to go this direction, we are going to go to
28:02
this competition. We are going to get in the
28:04
trailer today and to do whatever you can to make that happen.
28:08
That may or may not work with a Mustang.
28:11
My experience, a lot of times it's not going to work.
28:14
Experiences I've heard from others, a lot of time it's not
28:17
going to work. You have to put in the time and
28:20
effort and you really have to be open to learning, to learning
28:24
new strategies, to trying new things.
28:27
You know, I grew up always hearing like you don't give
28:30
horses treats, they're going to bite your hand off.
28:33
There is a way that you can do positive reinforcement using
28:38
treats where you can use it as a motivation.
28:42
I think it's at a lower level of interaction between the two of
28:46
you, but sometimes that's where we need to start, is at that
28:49
lower level where we are maybe using treats to calm both of our
28:54
nervous systems. That's really something that I
28:56
had to do with my Mustang. So some of the things that we
28:58
have been told forever are right or wrong are not necessarily
29:02
right or wrong. Another thing that I learned
29:06
that I totally changed was like you don't get off a horse.
29:09
If you're on a horse and they're misbehaving, if you get off,
29:12
that's going to reinforce their misbehavior.
29:15
That's something that I don't believe in at all.
29:19
You can get to that point. If it's repeated indefinitely,
29:22
that will certainly become a learned behavior.
29:24
But as a one time thing, that's not going to happen.
29:27
As an intermittent thing, that's just not how learning takes
29:30
place. That's just not the psychology
29:32
of how our minds work. We can look at it the reverse
29:35
and like if there is something intense coming up, say we're on
29:40
the road and a really noisy trailer, I can tell it's going
29:44
to go by us. That's a situation where I might
29:47
get off my horse and I might have my daughter get off her
29:49
horse. Depending on reading my horses
29:51
and how they're doing. Sometimes they don't care and
29:53
I'm like, OK, I think we're fine.
29:55
But if they're perking up and dancing around, they're clearly
29:58
on high alert. And then you have to ask
30:00
yourself, is it worth me staying on?
30:02
And the possibility that, you know, my horse is going to jump
30:05
in front of the truck and get hit or go off the side of a
30:10
mountain because I wasn't willing to just step off my
30:14
horse. And it's not widely accepted.
30:17
It's something I do all the time because safety is of utmost
30:22
concern to me. I'm often out with my kids and
30:25
it's not worth it for me to push a horse almost to threshold.
30:31
We don't know if we're going to go over threshold and
30:33
potentially have an accident that could harm me, one of my
30:37
children, my horse, just to prove a point.
30:41
So some of those rules that you've known for so long might
30:45
be ones that you want to set aside and develop a new idea
30:49
around. As far as getting off a horse,
30:51
people might see it as, you know, the horses controlling me,
30:54
the horse is now in charge. I see it as I'm showing my
30:57
horse, like I can look at you. I can see this is making you
31:01
really nervous. And you know what?
31:02
I'm going to take a step back and I'm going to be here on this
31:05
ground supporting you and helping us get through this so
31:08
that you know this is OK. And next time there's a good
31:10
chance. But we're just going to stand
31:13
there. Why this very noisy trailer goes
31:15
by or why a rabbit is jumping across the path, or dogs are
31:19
barking at us, or a car is passing us, whatever it might
31:23
be, I think there's real value in showing your horse.
31:27
I'm aware of what you're feeling.
31:29
That's part of the communication that we can have with Mustangs
31:33
is they can communicate to us like I am really uncomfortable
31:37
right now and we can communicate back.
31:39
I see that and I'm going to step down and I'm going to be here
31:43
and I'm going to support you. That has been huge and powerful
31:46
for me, and I wish that sooner I would have been more OK with
31:51
saying, I know this is what I've heard, but this isn't what feels
31:54
right right now. So I'm going to try something
31:56
different or I'm going to look for trainers who do it different
32:00
than what I'm used to because this way that I'm used to or
32:03
this way that I learned doesn't feel like the right thing to me
32:07
or we're not getting good results from it.
32:10
My horse continues to be anxious out on the trail.
32:13
It's not working. Be OK with saying something's
32:17
not working. Even though I thought this was
32:18
what was right, this is what I thought we should do.
32:21
It's not working. We're going to go back to
32:23
learning and to try and some other things now.
32:26
If you allow this journey to change you, if you allow the
32:32
Mustang to have a voice in your life, it will.
32:36
So this is an experience where you can become an entirely new
32:42
and better person. My experience has been I wanted
32:45
so badly to succeed with my Mustang, and so when things
32:50
weren't working, I was forced to, if I wanted it to work, look
32:54
really closely at what the dynamics of the situation were.
32:59
And what I found was a lot of the time I was a significant
33:03
part of why we weren't having success.
33:06
And as I navigated through that, it helped me, which I've talked
33:10
about lots before, it helped me really find different things in
33:13
my life that I need to change. One I can think of off the top
33:16
of my head that was huge was my anxiety.
33:20
Before I had a Mustang. Like I could tell you, yeah, I'm
33:23
anxious. I did not understand the level
33:26
of anxiety that I was carrying in my life, not even related to
33:30
Mustangs, related to just facing life from a fear based
33:36
perspective that I have been able to change immensely since
33:43
having my Mustang and being willing to change and to alter
33:48
my perspective and to really question is the way I'm seeing
33:52
the situation, the reality of this situation.
33:55
And so that was a huge thing that changed for me.
33:58
I was really able to move from just living in fear and anxiety
34:03
almost constantly, especially as a mother.
34:06
There are so many things that you fear, so many places you
34:09
feel like you need to have control.
34:12
You want to control the outcome. And I really learned that a lot
34:17
of my fear was based on my inability to do that.
34:21
But also these imaginings in my head of things that may or may
34:25
never happen. And because I have been able to
34:29
step away from that to a large degree, it has opened up a whole
34:33
new world for me, for my children, and for my
34:37
interactions with the Mustang, where I really stepped back,
34:40
leaned a lot more on logic and being analytical and being
34:44
realistic than just jumping into those really strong emotions of
34:50
anxiety. And that's just one of the
34:54
really big ways that my Mustang and my experience with her has
34:59
gone over into my everyday living and my overall mental
35:04
health. Because I was able to step back
35:07
and allow myself to change, to not insist that I already knew
35:11
and was right and everything I was doing and to open myself up
35:17
to learning from this experience and learning from my Mustang.
35:21
Another thing, and what I want to close on is that there is
35:26
very likely a time that you will want to quit.
35:31
That may come in the form of handing it off to someone else.
35:34
It may come in like rehoming your Mustang or thinking
35:39
somewhere else would be better. I can remember with absolute
35:42
clarity a moment when I was just laying in bed thinking about
35:49
probably hadn't been a good day with my Mustang life probably
35:53
had challenges at the same time just thinking like, what am I
35:57
doing? She deserves so much better than
35:59
me. I should just find her another
36:01
home. And I wanted to quit and give up
36:03
a lot of that. I wanted to quit because I
36:05
didn't feel like I was ever going to be the owner or the
36:07
guardian that she deserved. I didn't.
36:11
I kept her. But the reality was that this
36:15
story I was telling myself in her mind that there was a better
36:20
place for her was not true. Because there are good homes out
36:26
there for Mustangs. There are excellent trainers.
36:29
There are people who care for them deeply and do all they can
36:33
to provide the best home that they can now that they've been
36:36
taken in from the wild. And there are those homes, but
36:39
there are not nearly enough of those homes as there are
36:43
Mustangs that need those homes. The idea that I could find a
36:47
better home for her was a very unlikely reality at the point I
36:53
was having these thoughts. She was halter trained, but she
36:55
wasn't saddle trained. And most people don't want a
36:58
horse that's not saddle trained. They don't want a horse that's
37:01
reactive. She was very what they would
37:04
call reactive, what I now call commutative.
37:07
She was very clear in her communication of what she was
37:11
and was not willing to do. Most people don't want that
37:13
horse. There was a much greater
37:15
likelihood if I would have found a different home for her that it
37:21
would have failed. That she very well could have
37:24
ended up at a rescue or in another home that also wasn't
37:27
equipped to deal with her, to learn with her, to grow with
37:30
her, to manage her. However, you want to say that
37:32
it's much more likely that she would end up in the slaughter
37:36
line. There are a lot of Mustangs that
37:38
do because they are quote UN quote difficult because people
37:43
had a certain way that they thought that they should be
37:46
trained in a certain time, that they should be trained within,
37:49
and that wasn't reality. So this idea that she would be
37:53
better off without me was a lie. I was telling myself.
37:58
If you have a home you can provide for this horse and you
38:04
are willing to learn, there is absolutely no better place for a
38:09
Mustang than a committed, dedicated home.
38:14
All those things, if it's something you want, are things
38:17
you can acquire. You can acquire the financial
38:20
resources to care for a horse properly.
38:22
With proper equipment and proper facilities, you can acquire the
38:28
needed knowledge to bring this horse into your home to learn
38:33
what you need to. As long as you're teachable,
38:36
you're willing to change the way you do things and as long as you
38:39
are dedicated and committed. And I want everybody that is
38:43
thinking about Mustang or that has a Mustang to know.
38:47
In my eyes, from my experience, those are the absolute
38:50
essentials. You have to be willing to work
38:53
to care for your horse, and you have to be willing to change
38:56
yourself, your ideas, your philosophies, your
38:58
understanding, to increase your education to make it a
39:02
successful experience. If you're going to go in to
39:06
getting a Mustang, having a specific agenda that you hold
39:11
fast to and you are not willing to change or alter, there's a
39:14
good chance it's going to not be a successful experience.
39:18
If you are willing to really take it in and what you really
39:21
want with a horse is a partnership and you're willing
39:23
to see how that might unfold, then those are the factors that
39:27
are really going to lead to success.
39:31
It is an amazing journey. It is one of the best things
39:34
that you can do if this is where your passion and where your love
39:37
lies and if you really have a true desire to help a horse.
39:41
There's so many different ways this can unfold.
39:44
It doesn't need to look like anyone else's journey and it
39:48
doesn't have to have a particular outcome.
39:50
It could be that you have a horse that only does liberty, or
39:54
that you 2 will only take for walks, or it could be that you
39:56
have a horse that you take on to do endurance events or
40:00
competition with. There are a lot of different
40:03
possibilities. The thing that it's really
40:06
important to be open to is that you open your mind to what those
40:10
possibilities might be. You might get a Mustang thinking
40:13
that you want to work in hunter jumper, and that Mustang may not
40:19
be the horse for that. Will you be OK with that?
40:23
Will you be OK if the horse. And your experience with the
40:28
horse is different than what you imagined it.
40:30
I've certainly had to do that with some of my horses and in
40:32
the process of doing that have had other really beautiful
40:36
experiences and relationships unfold.
40:40
So to close with, if you are thinking about this journey, if
40:44
you need help in this journey, don't hesitate to reach out,
40:48
whether that's to me or whether that's to someone else who you
40:51
have seen. Have the relationship you want
40:54
to have with the horse. Reach out and ask questions.
40:58
Be willing to learn, be willing to look stupid.
41:01
Be willing to have moments that feel like you're failing.
41:06
That means you're crowing. If you're willing to do those
41:09
things, if this is something you really want, you definitely can
41:12
do it. If you have a Mustang you're
41:14
struggling with, you can do it. If you feel unsure, reach out to
41:21
people who have been there. Get advice, experience,
41:23
encouragement. It is such an incredible
41:26
process. These horses are truly
41:30
magnificent. It is a beautiful journey that
41:33
you can bring into your life if it's something that you want.
41:36
Thank you so much for being here.
41:38
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41:53
Thanks for being here and I hope that you find a way to enjoy
41:58
these beautiful animals and let them change your life for the
42:02
better. Thank you for joining us and
42:04
learning about Horses that Heal and the humans who help them.
42:07
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42:21
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42:27
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42:29
We want to hear your story. As we say goodbye, always
42:33
remember that the horse is always there to help you heal.