Latest / Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby / Feel Like You're Wasting Your Life? How to Reinvent Yourself Before It's Too Late | Happiness | E572

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Feel Like You're Wasting Your Life? How to Reinvent Yourself Before It's Too Late | Happiness | E572 · Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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2:15
Speaker 2: I was the most boring person I knew. Because all
2:21
Speaker 2: I was doing was basically working.
2:29
Speaker 1: Friends, we are all moving forward together along this timeline.
2:34
Speaker 1: And it's easy to miss the fact that what we're
2:38
Speaker 1: doing in the here and now in our present is
2:41
Speaker 1: directly related to the life we're going to be living
2:45
Speaker 1: years from now.
2:54
Speaker 2: I was focused on being relentlessly successful.
2:59
Speaker 1: The choices that we're making in terms of how we live,
3:03
Speaker 1: what we do, what we prioritize are planting seeds that
3:07
Speaker 1: we will reap many years down the road. So it's
3:10
Speaker 1: important that we're all thinking about this in an intentional
3:13
Speaker 1: way and making intentional decisions. that are investments in the
3:18
Speaker 1: future we want to experience.
3:22
Speaker 2: A lot of people do put their identity in what
3:26
Speaker 2: they do for a living. They lose their job, or
3:29
Speaker 2: their profession changes, or they quote-unquote retire, and they don't
3:35
Speaker 2: know what to do with themselves. They're lost.
3:44
Speaker 1: By the end of today's episode, you're going to get
3:46
Speaker 1: a lot of new ideas that help you craft that
3:49
Speaker 1: path intentionally so that the life you're living in the
3:53
Speaker 1: future is one that you really enjoy and that feels
3:56
Speaker 1: good for you. Hey, if you're new to the show,
4:02
Speaker 1: this is your first time here, hit follow wherever you listen.
4:05
Speaker 1: So we'll do this again. And if this is a
4:09
Speaker 1: repeat offender here with me, thanks again for being here.
4:13
Speaker 1: and for your support. And I want everybody tuning in
4:16
Speaker 1: today to think about who else in your life needs
4:19
Speaker 1: to hear this message and then share it with them.
4:22
Speaker 1: So we spread the love.
4:25
Speaker 2: When I came to New York with $ 60 in my
4:27
Speaker 2: pocket and no contacts, I literally started at the bottom.
4:33
Speaker 2: And so I knew that I had to work triple hard.
4:36
Speaker 1: My guest today is Michael Clinton, and he's an interesting guy.
4:42
Speaker 1: He spent 40-plus years at the top of the magazine industry.
4:46
Speaker 1: He was the president and publishing director of things like
4:49
Speaker 1: Hearst Magazines, the company behind Oprah, Elle, Marie Claire, Esquire.
4:53
Speaker 1: And so he's done all kinds of stuff. But then
4:56
Speaker 1: he did something even more interesting. He stepped away from
5:01
Speaker 1: that corner office, went back to grad school in his 60s,
5:04
Speaker 1: started a second career, and started writing about how the
5:08
Speaker 1: rest of us can reimagine our lives not just at retirement,
5:13
Speaker 1: but well in advance of that so that we can
5:16
Speaker 1: create the future we want to be in. His new
5:19
Speaker 1: book is called Longevity Nation, and it's about building a
5:24
Speaker 1: life that goes out far into the future. And Michael,
5:29
Speaker 1: welcome to the show.
5:31
Speaker 2: Lisa, what a great introduction. Thanks. It's so great to
5:33
Speaker 2: be with you and to join in with all of
5:36
Speaker 2: your listeners and viewers.
5:38
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, you know, it's always such a treat to
5:40
Speaker 1: talk with people who don't just have an academic perspective,
5:44
Speaker 1: but have actually lived the things that they teach. And
5:48
Speaker 1: it sounds like you have done a lot of that.
5:50
Speaker 1: And I understand that this all began with a concept
5:55
Speaker 1: that you came up with that you've called life layering.
6:01
Speaker 1: And that has influenced your own trajectory. Will you tell
6:04
Speaker 1: us a little bit about this idea and how it
6:06
Speaker 1: turned into this bigger work?
6:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks. Thanks, Lisa. So the concept of life layering
6:12
Speaker 2: happens when I was about 39 years old. You know,
6:16
Speaker 2: I had a great personal life, great family life, love life.
6:20
Speaker 2: I had a great job. I was the publisher of GQ.
6:22
Speaker 2: That was a very cool job. Right. And but what
6:25
Speaker 2: I realized is I was the most boring person I
6:28
Speaker 2: knew because all I was doing was basically working. And
6:32
Speaker 2: I think a lot of us, when we're building our careers,
6:34
Speaker 2: we're building our professional resume and our identities as we work, work, work, work.
6:40
Speaker 2: And we put a lot of other things to the side.
6:43
Speaker 2: You know, I always say that, you know, your professional life,
6:47
Speaker 2: your personal life, if you're going to partner up, if
6:49
Speaker 2: you're a parent, you might be a parent in your
6:53
Speaker 2: 30s or 40s if you decide to have children. But
6:55
Speaker 2: at 39, I had a little bit of a sort
6:58
Speaker 2: of existential moment. And I decided that I needed to
7:03
Speaker 2: find myself in a more personal and humane way aside
7:08
Speaker 2: from work. So I've always had this sort of adventure
7:11
Speaker 2: gene in me. So I decided when I was turning
7:15
Speaker 2: 40 that I was going to take a flying lesson
7:18
Speaker 2: because I always wanted to be a pilot in my mind.
7:20
Speaker 2: I would go hike and climb to the top of
7:23
Speaker 2: Mount Kilimanjaro with a group of friends. And I would
7:27
Speaker 2: take a race car driving class. And some people say, well,
7:31
Speaker 2: maybe you're having midlife crisis. I didn't view it that way.
7:35
Speaker 2: I viewed it as get a life buddy. And I
7:38
Speaker 2: ultimately became a pilot and I ultimately climbed many other
7:42
Speaker 2: mountains and I wasn't interested in the race car driving thing.
7:45
Speaker 2: It was kind of a, didn't really turn me on.
7:49
Speaker 2: And what I realized is my adventurous spirit was very
7:54
Speaker 2: much a part of who I was as a human
7:57
Speaker 2: being that brought me joy and fulfillment. happiness. And so
8:02
Speaker 2: I proclaimed to my family and friends that my forties
8:05
Speaker 2: were going to be my adventure years. And so I
8:08
Speaker 2: started to build this layer, what I called ultimately a
8:12
Speaker 2: layer of life that I was always very intentional that
8:17
Speaker 2: every year I was going to do something that was adventurous.
8:21
Speaker 2: And I ended up creating an adventure travel club And
8:25
Speaker 2: every year we do something adventurous. We've gone to Patagonia.
8:29
Speaker 2: We've hiked the Simian Mountains in Ethiopia. We have run marathons,
8:34
Speaker 2: which I'll get to in a minute, in Mongolia. And
8:38
Speaker 2: my adventure layer was part of my identity that I
8:42
Speaker 2: was building. And whenever I was having a stressful moment
8:46
Speaker 2: or an anxiety or work wasn't going well, I would
8:48
Speaker 2: kind of lean into my layers. And I would think
8:52
Speaker 2: about what kind of a new adventure I was going
8:54
Speaker 2: to be creating. And then when I was in my 50s,
8:59
Speaker 2: in my early 50s, I had started my career as
9:02
Speaker 2: a writer and a journalist. And I had all of
9:05
Speaker 2: a sudden been taking a lot of photographs and I'd
9:07
Speaker 2: become very interested in photography. And a friend of mine said,
9:10
Speaker 2: why don't you do an exhibit of your work? I
9:13
Speaker 2: was like, well, that. That's not something that was sort
9:16
Speaker 2: of on my radar.
9:17
Speaker 1: Make it happen.
9:18
Speaker 2: Make it happen. But she talked me into it. And
9:21
Speaker 2: I said, you know what? I'll do it as a fundraiser.
9:24
Speaker 2: I was on the Starlight Foundation board, which you might
9:27
Speaker 2: know is like Make-A-Wish for kids. I said, I'll do
9:30
Speaker 2: a fundraiser for Starlight. And we had a pop-up photography
9:34
Speaker 2: show in Soho. And I sold a lot of photography.
9:40
Speaker 2: And people are like, your photography is really good. And
9:43
Speaker 2: I was like, well, maybe I've got this unfounded gene
9:47
Speaker 2: in me around photography. So I decided my 50s were
9:51
Speaker 2: going to be my creative years around photography. So I
9:55
Speaker 2: had many more shows. I ended up joining the International
9:58
Speaker 2: Center of Photography. board. I went to all of the galleries.
10:03
Speaker 2: I started collecting. And all of a sudden I had
10:06
Speaker 2: this other layer as being a photographer and being interested
10:09
Speaker 2: in photography on top of my adventure layer.
10:12
Speaker 1: And adventure photography is a thing.
10:16
Speaker 2: And adventure photography. And I ended up, Lisa... I ended
10:20
Speaker 2: up having a book published called Wanderlust 100 Countries. It
10:24
Speaker 2: was all about my adventure in photography from around the world.
10:29
Speaker 2: And so what I realized as I was doing this
10:32
Speaker 2: is I was building these other identities around my life.
10:38
Speaker 2: Because what happens is when you're in your 40s and
10:42
Speaker 2: you start moving into your 50s, you know, kids grow
10:45
Speaker 2: up and move away. You know, hopefully your partner's still
10:48
Speaker 2: with you, but you never know. Jobs, jobs, companies get sold.
10:52
Speaker 2: You might be downsized. If you start losing those kinds
10:56
Speaker 2: of identities or they become diminished, how do you build
11:00
Speaker 2: other identities to build a muscle about your own self identity?
11:05
Speaker 2: So I call these the life layers, building identities and
11:09
Speaker 2: layering them on top of each other. So today I
11:13
Speaker 2: have multiple layers, life layers, in addition to adventure and photography.
11:18
Speaker 2: But those are my happy places. And so we build
11:23
Speaker 2: this life layering idea to build other identities. So that's
11:26
Speaker 2: good in a nutshell, if that makes sense.
11:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that makes perfect sense. And you're almost talking
11:31
Speaker 1: about personal diversification and that there can be a real
11:37
Speaker 1: risk if you become so fixated on one or two
11:41
Speaker 1: things that you have exclusively wrapped your life around, maybe
11:44
Speaker 1: at the expense of others. that as time passes and
11:47
Speaker 1: those original things fall away or change, then who are you?
11:53
Speaker 1: Is it okay if I ask? I hope this isn't
11:56
Speaker 1: too personal, but I must know. There's a reason why
11:59
Speaker 1: I am a podcast host and a psychologist is because
12:02
Speaker 1: I want to know all the things. And so I'm curious.
12:05
Speaker 1: So you mentioned that you were like, you know what,
12:08
Speaker 1: when I was 39, that you wanted to build in
12:11
Speaker 1: a new layer of What happened before that? Did you
12:15
Speaker 1: begin to experience a gap or a... You said, I
12:21
Speaker 1: realized that I was boring because people don't make this
12:25
Speaker 1: kind of change unless there's a motivation. And I'm wondering
12:29
Speaker 1: what it really was for you.
12:31
Speaker 2: That's a great question. I came from a very poor
12:34
Speaker 2: working class family. I was the first person in my
12:36
Speaker 2: family history to go to college and graduate from college.
12:40
Speaker 2: I came to New York City in my 20s to...
12:43
Speaker 2: launch publishing career, I was focused on being relentlessly successful
12:50
Speaker 2: because I came from, when I came to New York
12:54
Speaker 2: with $ 60 in my pocket and no contacts and no connections,
12:59
Speaker 2: you know, I was not, I had none of that
13:01
Speaker 2: stuff to help me along the way. I mean, I
13:04
Speaker 2: literally started at the bottom. And so I knew that
13:07
Speaker 2: I had to work triple hard to find a path
13:11
Speaker 2: and find a success. And listen, I was very, I
13:15
Speaker 2: was very fortunate in that I became the youngest publisher
13:19
Speaker 2: in the business at 34 when I became the publisher
13:23
Speaker 2: of GQ. And so I landed my dream job, a
13:26
Speaker 2: dream job, you know, 10 years out. And so I was,
13:30
Speaker 2: I was really focused on proving to myself that I
13:34
Speaker 2: could be successful to my family, to everybody. And then
13:38
Speaker 2: when I sort of got a little sort of comfortable
13:42
Speaker 2: in my own success quite honestly that's when I thought
13:46
Speaker 2: okay I need to take a pause here and I
13:50
Speaker 2: think a lot of people you know especially when you're
13:54
Speaker 2: building a profession and you're trying to build your reputation
13:57
Speaker 2: and you're trying to build a name for yourself in
13:59
Speaker 2: a in an industry you spend a lot of time
14:05
Speaker 2: putting all the marbles in that basket yeah yeah So,
14:09
Speaker 2: you know, I think once you reach a certain level
14:11
Speaker 2: of success, and I had then had subsequently many more
14:15
Speaker 2: levels of success, but I don't think I could have
14:18
Speaker 2: gotten those other levels of success without that pause to say, okay,
14:24
Speaker 2: how do you become a better, more interesting person to
14:28
Speaker 2: yourself and to those around you? And all my layers
14:32
Speaker 2: ultimately taught me that work was over here. very important
14:37
Speaker 2: part of my life, but it wasn't my whole life.
14:40
Speaker 2: And you said something really interesting. I love your line,
14:43
Speaker 2: personal diversification. You said something really interesting. You know, a
14:47
Speaker 2: lot of people do put their identity in what they
14:52
Speaker 2: do for a living. And I hate to pick on
14:55
Speaker 2: my gender, but many men do it even more so.
14:58
Speaker 2: And so what happens is they reach a point Where
15:03
Speaker 2: they lose their job or their profession changes or they,
15:07
Speaker 2: quote unquote, retire and they don't know what to do
15:10
Speaker 2: with themselves. They're lost because they haven't created these other identities. Right?
15:16
Speaker 1: Absolutely. And I think so many of us can relate
15:19
Speaker 1: to this. I know that I can, too. I've gone
15:22
Speaker 1: through periods in my life where I'm so obsessively focused
15:25
Speaker 1: and driven on whatever it is that I'm doing, that
15:29
Speaker 1: that seems like the most important thing and other parts
15:31
Speaker 1: of your life are neglected. And I'll also share, even
15:34
Speaker 1: the experience of being a parent with little kids and
15:37
Speaker 1: that for many people, that is all they do for
15:41
Speaker 1: years and years. And so it's whatever it looks like
15:45
Speaker 1: in your life. And I'm speaking to our friends listening
15:48
Speaker 1: to us right now is just to- to get visibility
15:51
Speaker 1: into have you put a lot of your energy and
15:55
Speaker 1: your focus in one part of your life at the
15:59
Speaker 1: expense of others and that there comes a time maybe
16:03
Speaker 1: like to your point, Michael, there's a little bit of
16:06
Speaker 1: spaciousness that opens up. Maybe you can step back a
16:09
Speaker 1: little bit. Maybe the kids are getting bigger. Maybe you've
16:11
Speaker 1: attained a little bit more career success. You finally have
16:15
Speaker 1: space to do something a little different. And to pay
16:19
Speaker 1: attention to that. Because Michael, what you're saying is that
16:23
Speaker 1: the wisdom of experience is like, if you don't do
16:27
Speaker 1: that and just let things chug along without intentionally trying
16:33
Speaker 1: to develop a multidimensional life that is in alignment with
16:39
Speaker 1: your values, by the way, and I want to talk
16:41
Speaker 1: more about your work that you've obviously done there, you
16:44
Speaker 1: can be left at the end with very little.
16:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love the way you frame that. I think
16:52
Speaker 2: I would make one slight nuance in your comment, and
16:56
Speaker 2: I would say, find the space. Find the space.
17:01
Speaker 1: Oh, that's good.
17:02
Speaker 2: I wait.
17:03
Speaker 1: I wait for the space. I need to go get it.
17:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Because I think what happens, to your point,
17:09
Speaker 2: especially people in their 30s and 40s who are raising
17:13
Speaker 2: kids and are running around building a career and trying
17:17
Speaker 2: to make all the ends meet, et cetera. I always
17:20
Speaker 2: suggest to people I know and family, find that space
17:25
Speaker 2: for yourself, whatever it is. Carve out that hour, carve
17:30
Speaker 2: out that half a day, carve out whatever and put
17:34
Speaker 2: it on the calendar. And that's your space to cultivate
17:37
Speaker 2: and develop. I'll give you one example. I met a
17:40
Speaker 2: woman who was a working mother who became a single
17:44
Speaker 2: and parent because they got divorced they had two children
17:48
Speaker 2: and she was telling me that every weekend every other
17:51
Speaker 2: weekend is when she gets her kids she's her kids
17:54
Speaker 2: go to her ex-husbands uh every other weekend and i
17:58
Speaker 2: said wow that means every other weekend you are on
18:02
Speaker 2: your own she's like yeah and i said wow what
18:06
Speaker 2: are you doing with that time and she said well
18:09
Speaker 2: you know i'm kind of you know she was kind
18:10
Speaker 2: of this and that i said do you realize what
18:11
Speaker 2: a gift that is for you you know she was
18:15
Speaker 2: call her 45 ish. And I said, you have 48
18:18
Speaker 2: hours to do whatever you want to do. So what
18:24
Speaker 2: is it that you want to really focus on? And
18:26
Speaker 2: it was like a light bulb went off and she
18:28
Speaker 2: realized that she had this incredible gift, 26 weekends a
18:32
Speaker 2: year where she could find the space to do, build
18:37
Speaker 2: her layer, build another layer for herself. And she also
18:40
Speaker 2: really became very focused on fitness and nutrition and ultimately
18:44
Speaker 2: became a runner. I met her through my marathon community
18:48
Speaker 2: and she became a marathoner and she found her space.
18:51
Speaker 2: She made her space.
18:53
Speaker 1: So good. Well, and I've heard you say that this
18:58
Speaker 1: is now more important than ever to be developing these
19:01
Speaker 1: different layers and thinking about what your life is going
19:04
Speaker 1: to be like and designing it far into the future
19:07
Speaker 1: because people are living longer than ever. You shared that
19:12
Speaker 1: you're doing some projects with the Longevity Institute at Stanford
19:16
Speaker 1: and that there are now projections that you know, a
19:19
Speaker 1: five-year-old today, like 50% chance they are going to live
19:23
Speaker 1: to be 100. And so even people in midlife now
19:27
Speaker 1: could be living healthy lives longer than ever. And so
19:31
Speaker 1: like our time horizon is expanding into the future. I'd
19:36
Speaker 1: love to get your thoughts on how to design this
19:38
Speaker 1: intentionally on the other side of this break. That's okay.
19:42
Speaker 2: Yes, please.
19:59
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Speaker 1: the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard
22:08
Speaker 1: about them, let them know it was on love, happiness,
22:10
Speaker 1: and success. It's the very best way to support the show. Okay,
22:16
Speaker 1: you guys, we are back with a very special guest,
22:19
Speaker 1: Michael Clinton, author of Longevity Nation. And so Michael, in
22:24
Speaker 1: our first segment, you were talking about this very intentional
22:27
Speaker 1: energy that you applied to your own life and creating
22:31
Speaker 1: these different layers where you developed parts of yourself in
22:36
Speaker 1: order to I feel like you were more whole is
22:41
Speaker 1: kind of what I took from it, that there wasn't
22:43
Speaker 1: just one thing you were into. There were a number
22:45
Speaker 1: of different things. And so part of what you've been
22:48
Speaker 1: doing more recently is working with Stanford University, their Longevity Institute,
22:53
Speaker 1: on development across the lifespan. Is that the right way
22:58
Speaker 1: to describe it?
22:59
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yes. It's actually the Stanford Center on Longevity, which
23:03
Speaker 2: is at Stanford University. I'm on their board of advisors.
23:06
Speaker 2: And We look at this concept, Lisa, and the thing
23:11
Speaker 2: you mentioned earlier, which is the studies and the science
23:16
Speaker 2: and other studies have shown that today's five-year-old has a
23:19
Speaker 2: 50% chance to live to be 100. If the 100-year
23:24
Speaker 2: life is here and it's evolving and growing, if you
23:29
Speaker 2: are 40 today and healthy and do all the right
23:32
Speaker 2: things from a lifestyle standpoint and preventative, and we'll talk
23:36
Speaker 2: about medicine and technology in a minute, you're probably going
23:41
Speaker 2: to live to be 90 or older. And so in
23:45
Speaker 2: the previous generation, well, let me go back to give
23:48
Speaker 2: you a perspective. A hundred years ago, life expectancy in
23:51
Speaker 2: America was 62. Today, life expectancy is close to 80.
23:58
Speaker 2: A hundred years ago, there were 7 million people who
24:00
Speaker 2: were 65 or older. Today in America, there are 62
24:04
Speaker 2: million people who are 65 or over. And that's going
24:08
Speaker 2: to grow to 80 million. Yeah, that's going to grow
24:11
Speaker 2: to 80 million within the next half dozen years. So
24:15
Speaker 2: today's 40-year-old is going to be on this trajectory of
24:20
Speaker 2: life expectancy growth, which is going to continue to be
24:23
Speaker 2: there through, once again, personal lifestyle decision-making. Because only 25%
24:29
Speaker 2: of your longevity is really your genetics. The rest of
24:33
Speaker 2: it is the things you do personally and then new
24:36
Speaker 2: kinds of diagnostics and tests and drugs and so forth.
24:40
Speaker 2: And so this is opening up a completely different set
24:44
Speaker 2: of life cycles for people because now you can have
24:51
Speaker 2: three careers. Today's 25 year old is going to have
24:55
Speaker 2: a 60 year career. And it may not be one career.
24:59
Speaker 2: It may be two or three careers because they're going
25:01
Speaker 2: to have to also fund a 90-year life. And they're
25:06
Speaker 2: going to have to reskill and learn new things. And
25:09
Speaker 2: we're right in the middle of all the AI evolution.
25:11
Speaker 2: And so they're going to have to reskill and learn
25:13
Speaker 2: new things. And jobs are going to come and jobs
25:16
Speaker 2: are going to go. And they have to be very proactive.
25:19
Speaker 2: But the key is what we call at Stanford the
25:22
Speaker 2: new map of life, which people can pull up and
25:26
Speaker 2: read about. And it's this very idea that in the
25:30
Speaker 2: new second half cycle of life, you're going to be
25:34
Speaker 2: doing many different things than your parents and grandparents did.
25:38
Speaker 2: First of all, the idea of retiring at 65 is
25:40
Speaker 2: going to be old news because if you're going to
25:43
Speaker 2: live another 25, 30 years, you can't sit around and
25:45
Speaker 2: watch television or play golf for 30 years. It's just
25:48
Speaker 2: not sustainable. It worked in the 20th century. I like
25:52
Speaker 2: to say we're now living 21st century lives in 20th
25:55
Speaker 2: century institutions that need to catch up with us. So
26:00
Speaker 2: this whole idea of having multiple careers, launching a creative
26:05
Speaker 2: practice at any age, even in your 50s and 60s,
26:09
Speaker 2: getting repartnered, becoming an entrepreneur after a career, all of
26:13
Speaker 2: this is now... What I'm really excited about is the
26:19
Speaker 2: next generation that has this as a real, it's going
26:24
Speaker 2: to be more and more real for them. The current
26:27
Speaker 2: 65 plus year olds are just discovering this and learning
26:31
Speaker 2: about this. The 30 to 45 year olds, if you will,
26:35
Speaker 2: they're going to really live this. This is going to
26:38
Speaker 2: really be their life. And so it's really exciting. What
26:41
Speaker 2: are you going to do with this gift of all
26:44
Speaker 2: these additional years that are in front of you?
26:48
Speaker 1: So cool. And really the importance of some intentional life design, absolutely,
26:56
Speaker 1: so that you can be developing other parts of yourself.
27:00
Speaker 1: But the other thing that's coming up for me, just
27:02
Speaker 1: hearing you talk makes me so happy because I want
27:06
Speaker 1: to keep going. I can't imagine retiring and just the
27:10
Speaker 1: opportunity to have more of a runway, if you will,
27:13
Speaker 1: to do other things feels amazing. But I'm also struck
27:16
Speaker 1: by I mean, even in my own life, I think
27:20
Speaker 1: that I could get so careerist and, you know, obsessive
27:22
Speaker 1: about whatever I'm doing. And even what you were talking about, about,
27:27
Speaker 1: you know, learning how to fly planes, like I would
27:29
Speaker 1: love to do something like that, but I've always had
27:31
Speaker 1: this thought like later, it's not the right time, et cetera,
27:34
Speaker 1: et cetera. And just to think that maybe, maybe there's
27:38
Speaker 1: more time than we have thought in some ways, but,
27:42
Speaker 1: but at the same time, things change and flow forward
27:45
Speaker 1: so quickly that you, you do actually have to take
27:49
Speaker 1: action and make it happen. And I'm just so curious what,
27:53
Speaker 1: what you've seen at, you know, the, the differences between
27:56
Speaker 1: people who shift pivot and kind of unleash these new
28:00
Speaker 1: chapters almost over and over again, what are the key
28:04
Speaker 1: ingredients of being able to do that well and intentionally
28:10
Speaker 1: because like you know one of the things that you
28:12
Speaker 1: mentioned is this absolute clarity around your own adventurous nature
28:18
Speaker 1: and to me that speaks to a internal self-discovery process
28:24
Speaker 1: where you connected with your core wiring your values who
28:29
Speaker 1: you really are at an essential level and like how
28:32
Speaker 1: how do I make more of that show up in
28:33
Speaker 1: my world And that work can be hard to do.
28:36
Speaker 1: So with what you've done in your book, do you
28:39
Speaker 1: have any insight into what kinds of things support that?
28:44
Speaker 2: It's really a great question. And I often get asked,
28:46
Speaker 2: is it nature or nurture? The skills that people have
28:50
Speaker 2: to reimagine and pivot and rethink. You know, I wrote
28:54
Speaker 2: a book prior to this one called Roar into the
28:57
Speaker 2: Second Half of Your Life. It is designed as a
29:01
Speaker 2: personal development book. for people who are midlife. I call
29:06
Speaker 2: midlife 45 to 50. And during that process, we coined
29:11
Speaker 2: a phrase called the re-imagineers, the people who really seem
29:16
Speaker 2: to have this skill to be able to pivot, to
29:20
Speaker 2: reinvent in a fluid kind of ongoing way. And some
29:25
Speaker 2: of the things that I learned from talking to many
29:28
Speaker 2: of them And people can read their great little stories
29:31
Speaker 2: on our website, roarforward.com. There's a tab all about the
29:36
Speaker 2: Reimagineers and in our monthly newsletter, etc. But I learned
29:40
Speaker 2: a few things that are part of it was nature,
29:44
Speaker 2: which I'll talk about first. This is a group that
29:47
Speaker 2: you touched on it, spent a lot of time on
29:50
Speaker 2: their internal thinking about who are they fundamentally as human beings?
29:57
Speaker 2: What are the things that bring them joy, bring them happiness,
30:01
Speaker 2: bring them satisfaction. Many of them spent a good year
30:06
Speaker 2: or two really exploring their inner landscape before they did
30:12
Speaker 2: a pivot. Yeah. Right. It does not happen in a weekend.
30:17
Speaker 1: Right.
30:18
Speaker 2: It's got to be very thoughtful and introspective, and it's
30:22
Speaker 2: got to be time put in, whether it's journaling about
30:26
Speaker 2: it or thinking about it, as a, as a through line,
30:31
Speaker 2: but in the subtext of many of that, those, that processes,
30:36
Speaker 2: many of them had fundamentally were very optimistic people were
30:41
Speaker 2: very future forward looking people or people who felt that
30:46
Speaker 2: the future possibilities were, were there for them in general.
30:51
Speaker 2: And so there was these common threads. We ultimately did
30:56
Speaker 2: a big study around this group that we call the re-imagineers.
31:01
Speaker 2: And they did have a lot of fundamental personality traits
31:05
Speaker 2: that were around these elements that I just talked about.
31:10
Speaker 2: And a lot of people will say, well, that's great.
31:13
Speaker 2: I'm not that person. And how do I do this?
31:17
Speaker 2: And how do I get over the fear factor and
31:20
Speaker 2: the uncertainty factor? And the risk factor, because the people
31:25
Speaker 2: who have the nature piece of it, they tend to feel,
31:28
Speaker 2: I'm going to jump in. I'm going to get on
31:30
Speaker 2: the path. And for those who feel that it's more
31:34
Speaker 2: of a nurturing thing, there are a number of things
31:37
Speaker 2: that we developed. And they're in this book, Roar, and
31:40
Speaker 2: a toolkit for building, for discovering maybe what your pathway
31:46
Speaker 2: should be. And what are some of your core goals?
31:51
Speaker 2: personality traits that might help you uncover and discover a
31:57
Speaker 2: new pathway or a new layer for yourself. So I'm
31:59
Speaker 2: going to give you one tool, which I think is
32:01
Speaker 2: a fun game for people. We call it the five-word game.
32:07
Speaker 2: When you have a moment, write down the five words
32:10
Speaker 2: that you think most describe yourself to you. Then go
32:16
Speaker 2: to 10 people in your universe and spouses, partners, kids, friends,
32:22
Speaker 2: best friends, et cetera, and ask them each to write
32:24
Speaker 2: down the five words that describe you in their mind.
32:30
Speaker 2: And don't tell them they can't talk to each other.
32:32
Speaker 2: They are all going to submit these five words and
32:35
Speaker 2: you're going to map them all out. And if none
32:38
Speaker 2: of those words match your words, you're in big trouble
32:42
Speaker 2: because then you have a perception of yourself that your
32:45
Speaker 2: friends really, you know, that person who says, I'm really empathetic.
32:48
Speaker 2: And all your friends say you're the least empathetic person
32:51
Speaker 2: I know. You know, you want to make sure.
32:54
Speaker 1: That's rough. Yeah.
32:56
Speaker 2: You take those words. And what's the one word that
33:00
Speaker 2: bubbles up as the word that your people see you as?
33:05
Speaker 2: So in my case, when I did the by word game,
33:09
Speaker 2: I word that I that's important for me. And nine
33:13
Speaker 2: out of 12 people wrote generous.
33:17
Speaker 1: What a great word to be known for.
33:19
Speaker 2: Yeah. So generosity, generosity of time, of spirit, of money,
33:25
Speaker 2: being there for people. I pride myself on that as
33:28
Speaker 2: a core part of who I am. And so I
33:33
Speaker 2: had already done this, so it didn't come out of this,
33:36
Speaker 2: but a group of us launched a foundation 16 years
33:40
Speaker 2: ago called Circle of Generosity. And we grant random acts
33:45
Speaker 2: of kindness to People who are in dire straits, we
33:49
Speaker 2: might help them in their mortgage or their rent if
33:51
Speaker 2: they're going to lose their house or whatever. We help
33:54
Speaker 2: a lot with natural disaster. But generosity has always been
33:58
Speaker 2: a core part of me. And the question is, when
34:01
Speaker 2: you find that word, how do you mine that word
34:05
Speaker 2: to what are the branches that come off that word
34:09
Speaker 2: where you can build a next layer for yourself, a
34:13
Speaker 2: next first step for yourself? a next new pathway for yourself.
34:19
Speaker 2: It's also fun. It's a fun little thing to do
34:21
Speaker 2: because you get to hear what all your friends think
34:23
Speaker 2: about you.
34:25
Speaker 1: Assuming that it's good.
34:26
Speaker 2: I mean, who knows?
34:27
Speaker 1: Assuming that it's good. Yeah, this is so fun though.
34:32
Speaker 1: But then I think that once you have that and
34:35
Speaker 1: developing little branches, the creative process here is what does
34:40
Speaker 1: the actualization of this look like? in my life? How
34:44
Speaker 1: do I bring this into being in a more tangible,
34:48
Speaker 1: experiential way?
34:49
Speaker 2: And of course, that can.
34:50
Speaker 1: Go in all kinds of directions.
34:52
Speaker 2: You could start a foundation. Give me another example. Yeah, yeah.
34:55
Speaker 2: I want to give you a great fun example. So
34:58
Speaker 2: I met a woman, she's a re-imagineer, and I'll give
35:02
Speaker 2: you her name in the back end. She was an
35:04
Speaker 2: elementary school teacher in suburban Atlanta. She married a high
35:09
Speaker 2: school sweetheart, had a couple of kids, whatever. It was,
35:13
Speaker 2: I think it was two or three. And she decided
35:15
Speaker 2: in her late 50s that she was like done teaching.
35:18
Speaker 2: She was just ready to hang up that career. And
35:23
Speaker 2: she didn't know what to do. And her kids said
35:25
Speaker 2: to her, particularly one daughter, Mom, you are so funny.
35:29
Speaker 2: You are the funniest person we know. And you should
35:32
Speaker 2: go do an open mic session at a comedy club.
35:36
Speaker 2: And she said, I have no idea what that means.
35:39
Speaker 2: So they go to a comedy club in Atlanta. And
35:42
Speaker 2: she goes and gets on the stage and does this
35:45
Speaker 2: open mic session. And she gets great feedback from the audience.
35:49
Speaker 2: And she's like, maybe I am funny. I guess I
35:52
Speaker 2: am funny. And she then had this moment where she said, well,
35:57
Speaker 2: I don't have a funny enough. I'm not pretty enough.
36:00
Speaker 2: I'm not young enough. All the usual tropes that we
36:02
Speaker 2: put on ourselves. She ended up hiring a woman who,
36:08
Speaker 2: who coaches female comics and And Patricia Forehand is a
36:14
Speaker 2: stand-up comic today. She works the comedy club circuit in
36:19
Speaker 2: the Southeast. You can look her up, Patricia Forehand. She's
36:23
Speaker 2: in her 60s now. And out of that word funny,
36:27
Speaker 2: she found a new pathway. That's amazing. And she's loving
36:31
Speaker 2: her life.
36:32
Speaker 1: And then she didn't even start it until, what, 59, 60?
36:35
Speaker 1: That's incredible.
36:36
Speaker 2: In her late 50s, yeah. I write about her in
36:38
Speaker 2: my book Roar as an example, so. I was like, oh,
36:41
Speaker 2: my gosh, you are so inspirational.
36:44
Speaker 1: So, Michael, we need to take another super fast break.
36:46
Speaker 1: But on the other side, I'd love to get your
36:48
Speaker 1: your thoughts. I mean, you've done so much thinking and
36:51
Speaker 1: exploration about what we all need to be doing now
36:56
Speaker 1: in midlife or even earlier in order to be intentional
37:00
Speaker 1: and craft a great outcome for ourselves on so many
37:04
Speaker 1: different levels, health, socially, physically. how we're organizing our lives.
37:09
Speaker 1: And I'd love to get a few more of your
37:10
Speaker 1: insights and tips on the other side of the break,
37:12
Speaker 1: if that's okay. So many parents, myself included, have anxiety
37:32
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37:36
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37:39
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38:01
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38:04
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38:07
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Speaker 1: heard about them, let them know it was on love, happiness,
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Speaker 1: and success. It's the very best way to support the show.
39:46
Speaker 1: So you guys, we're back with my very special guest,
39:49
Speaker 1: Michael Clinton. His new book is Longevity Nation. And Michael,
39:54
Speaker 1: before we took a quick break, you promised to share
39:57
Speaker 1: some of your hacks, if you will, for not just
40:00
Speaker 1: how to extend your life. I mean, that's one part,
40:04
Speaker 1: but I think that the bigger thing is a life
40:06
Speaker 1: worth living where you're healthy and happy and vibrant and
40:10
Speaker 1: having a good time. I know you've put so much
40:12
Speaker 1: thought into this and there are a few specific things
40:16
Speaker 1: that you recommend over and over again. Where do we start? Yeah.
40:20
Speaker 2: Well, let's start by saying when I'm out giving talks
40:22
Speaker 2: and speeches, Lisa, and I ask everybody in the audience
40:24
Speaker 2: who wants to live to be a hundred, about half
40:26
Speaker 2: the hands go up. And then I say, who wants
40:28
Speaker 2: to live to be 100 if you're healthy and you're
40:31
Speaker 2: mobile and you have your cognition and all the hands
40:34
Speaker 2: go up? And to your point, you know, we may
40:38
Speaker 2: not get to live to be 100, but the key
40:40
Speaker 2: is we want to live a long, quality, healthy life.
40:43
Speaker 2: And then at the very end, before we leave planet Earth,
40:46
Speaker 2: it's a very short period where you exit stage left.
40:51
Speaker 2: And the longevity hacks that can help you do that,
40:56
Speaker 2: you can start at any age. The younger, the better,
40:59
Speaker 2: but at any age, because think of it as compound
41:02
Speaker 2: interest in the bank. It just all builds on itself.
41:07
Speaker 2: And I'll give you sort of the five quick hacks
41:10
Speaker 2: that I think everyone should think about. And some of
41:13
Speaker 2: it's common sense, but some of the people don't necessarily
41:16
Speaker 2: think through. One, the number one, number one is the
41:18
Speaker 2: importance of movement and exercise and strength and balance and
41:23
Speaker 2: doing that every day of your life until the day
41:26
Speaker 2: you die. Motion is lotion. Exercise and fitness is the
41:32
Speaker 2: key to healthy natural medicines. It's many, many studies and many,
41:38
Speaker 2: many studies have shown that you can start this at
41:40
Speaker 2: any age. If you start this at 75, you see benefits.
41:44
Speaker 2: I met an amazing woman. You can look her up
41:47
Speaker 2: on Instagram, train with Joan. Joan didn't start working out
41:51
Speaker 2: until she was in her 70s. She's now in her 80s.
41:54
Speaker 2: She has like 2 million followers. She has a whole
41:57
Speaker 2: training program for people of all ages who participate with it.
42:01
Speaker 2: So the importance of exercise and movement. And if you
42:05
Speaker 2: start that early, it just all compounds and you're healthier.
42:09
Speaker 2: So number one.
42:10
Speaker 1: And I love the metaphor of compound interest when you
42:13
Speaker 1: start putting money away in the bank when you're in
42:15
Speaker 1: your 20s. Compared to when you start in your 60s
42:18
Speaker 1: and you're saying you could still benefit, but man, is
42:20
Speaker 1: it better to take it seriously? And you're saying every day?
42:23
Speaker 2: Every day. Every day.
42:25
Speaker 1: Okay.
42:25
Speaker 2: You know, the science is, you know, 150 minutes a week, minimally,
42:30
Speaker 2: in one way, shape, or form. And I say for
42:32
Speaker 2: busy people, do exercise snacks. You know, walk up the steps.
42:37
Speaker 2: Don't take the car. Walk a few blocks. Do squats
42:40
Speaker 2: while you're on the cell. Do push-ups or sit-ups while
42:42
Speaker 2: you're watching TV. There are lots of little exercise snacks
42:45
Speaker 2: you can do. to help give yourself that exercise movement.
42:50
Speaker 2: Number two is the conscious consumption of what you put
42:53
Speaker 2: in your mouth. Number one, if you smoke, I implore you,
42:57
Speaker 2: please stop smoking. It is the number one worst thing
43:00
Speaker 2: in terms of your body. Smoking and vaping is really
43:05
Speaker 2: not great for you. It's really toxic to your biology
43:08
Speaker 2: and your system. I haven't eaten meat in 50 years.
43:11
Speaker 2: I'm not a meat eater. I'm plant based. I eat fish.
43:15
Speaker 2: I am conscious of eating what I eat. You don't
43:18
Speaker 2: have to, you know, beans are the highest protein packed
43:23
Speaker 2: thing you can buy. I mean, that's why in places
43:25
Speaker 2: like Mexico and Latin America and beans are such a staple.
43:29
Speaker 2: They're affordable. Mix them in with salads and legumes and
43:32
Speaker 2: really think about being as, you know, fresh food as
43:36
Speaker 2: you can have. You know, drink moderately, obviously. I mean,
43:40
Speaker 2: I love a glass of wine, but also enjoy life.
43:42
Speaker 2: You know, I love Mexican food and a margarita. So,
43:45
Speaker 2: you know, don't get crazy, but be smart about what
43:48
Speaker 2: you eat. Once again, it's compounded. You don't become pre-diabetic.
43:53
Speaker 2: You don't develop, you know, issues with plaque in your arteries.
43:58
Speaker 2: Start early, stick with it, change your habits. Once again,
44:02
Speaker 2: you do it at any age and you get the benefits.
44:04
Speaker 2: The third is the power of sleep, the importance of sleep.
44:09
Speaker 2: But it's really measuring your deep sleep and your REM sleep.
44:13
Speaker 2: I track myself on an Oura Ring, on a wearable.
44:17
Speaker 2: I track my sleep patterns. I'm a big believer in
44:20
Speaker 2: the indicators of wearables. They give you directional things in
44:27
Speaker 2: your biology. We publish Esquire magazine, and I write for Esquire.
44:32
Speaker 2: And one of our writers wrote a story, How My
44:34
Speaker 2: Aura Ring Saved My Life. Because he kept getting the
44:38
Speaker 2: red flashes on his phone, on his aura ring app.
44:43
Speaker 2: And his wife said, you better go. It was four days,
44:44
Speaker 2: five days in. His wife said, you better go get
44:47
Speaker 2: yourself checked out. And it turned out he had a
44:49
Speaker 2: major health issue that his ring detected for him. So
44:53
Speaker 2: it's a tool that we have now that we didn't
44:56
Speaker 2: have a few years ago. Sleep's a superpower. Go ahead. Well,
45:01
Speaker 2: I just.
45:02
Speaker 1: Just to pause you, because I know we don't have
45:04
Speaker 1: a ton of time left, and I appreciate your reminding
45:07
Speaker 1: everyone about the importance of just these foundational health habits
45:12
Speaker 1: and how, as the years go by, they compound. And
45:17
Speaker 1: I think even at my own stage of life, I've
45:19
Speaker 1: started to notice a difference between people my age who
45:22
Speaker 1: are taking their health seriously and those who aren't. And
45:26
Speaker 1: they're showing up differently in the world and how they feel.
45:29
Speaker 1: So my last question for you, Michael. I'm not going
45:32
Speaker 1: to ask you how old you are. Anne, you've been
45:35
Speaker 1: around for a while, right? And I'm sure have people
45:38
Speaker 1: in your orbit who have taken one path or the other.
45:43
Speaker 1: And just as a final, perhaps even cautionary tale, what
45:46
Speaker 1: are some of the things that you have noticed about
45:49
Speaker 1: people that you've been close to who have not done
45:53
Speaker 1: any of these things?
45:56
Speaker 2: Thank you for that question. They've either become sedentary. or
46:02
Speaker 2: they're eating and drinking too much or eating the wrong
46:05
Speaker 2: kinds of food and they start developing illnesses. I would
46:11
Speaker 2: point to people in my own family who are too
46:13
Speaker 2: sedentary and don't eat right and all the above. You know,
46:16
Speaker 2: so you see younger people, you see this happening to
46:20
Speaker 2: younger people. And I would add to that, we have
46:23
Speaker 2: a lot of tools and tests available to us. There
46:25
Speaker 2: are so many exams and so many ways you can
46:28
Speaker 2: now be preventative in combination with lifestyle. And, you know,
46:34
Speaker 2: so here's the kicker, Lisa. So when I've always been
46:38
Speaker 2: a runner, I became a new, yet again, rebooted marathon
46:43
Speaker 2: runner in my mid-50s when my sister called and said,
46:46
Speaker 2: would you run a marathon with me? And I said,
46:47
Speaker 2: when did you start running? And she said, tomorrow.
46:51
Speaker 1: And you're an adventurer. So of course you said yes.
46:53
Speaker 2: I said, I probably got one more in me. And
46:57
Speaker 2: we went to London because it was her birthday week.
47:00
Speaker 2: And so we had a whole family trip to London.
47:01
Speaker 2: We ran the marathon. And the night before, I met
47:04
Speaker 2: a guy who'd run seven marathons on seven continents. Like, wow.
47:09
Speaker 2: I didn't even know that was a thing. So my
47:12
Speaker 2: sister and I ended up saying, let's do it. And
47:15
Speaker 2: I celebrated my 60th birthday by running a marathon on Antarctica.
47:19
Speaker 2: I've run 15 more marathons. Now, my peers who I
47:23
Speaker 2: see who've... are not exercising and not doing and working
47:27
Speaker 2: out are the ones that are now dealing more with
47:31
Speaker 2: health issues. And, you know, I'm a healthy specimen, knock
47:34
Speaker 2: on wood. And I attribute a lot of it to
47:37
Speaker 2: my exercise, my movement, my eating right, my sleeping right,
47:40
Speaker 2: all those components. But going back to compound interest, it
47:45
Speaker 2: all builds up. So bank it away.
47:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, this has been such an inspiring conversation.
47:53
Speaker 1: Michael Clinton, any last words of advice for people tuning
47:57
Speaker 1: in who are just grappling with this idea about the
47:59
Speaker 1: decisions that we're making now at an earlier stage in life, midlife?
48:04
Speaker 1: You will reap what you sow 40, 50, 60 years
48:08
Speaker 1: from now and have to do that intentionally. Is there
48:11
Speaker 1: anything else you'd like people to know or is the
48:14
Speaker 1: punchline here to read the book? Longevity nation and all
48:17
Speaker 1: will be revealed.
48:19
Speaker 2: Well, of course, of course, always. But what I what
48:21
Speaker 2: I would like to say, which is really is part
48:24
Speaker 2: of my advocacy now is we assuming fundamentals like healthy
48:30
Speaker 2: and lifestyle and so forth and preventative approaches to your health.
48:34
Speaker 2: You're going to have a very, very, very long runway.
48:37
Speaker 2: with the way life is moving and the advent of,
48:40
Speaker 2: we didn't get into all the discussions of GLP-1s and
48:44
Speaker 2: medicines and new classes of drugs, which are going to
48:47
Speaker 2: help a lot. You know, the GLP-1 is the miracle drug. It's,
48:50
Speaker 2: it's there. The early clinical trials are showing a lot
48:52
Speaker 2: of benefits above and beyond mental health, addiction, sleep apnea,
48:59
Speaker 2: so many other things. But with the advent of AI
49:02
Speaker 2: and technology integrated into medicine and development of drugs that
49:07
Speaker 2: to help with diseases and precision medicine. That's going to
49:11
Speaker 2: be the icing on the cake. So if you are 40,
49:16
Speaker 2: think about the fact that you're going to be 90
49:19
Speaker 2: or more. Are you thinking about it? Are you prepared
49:22
Speaker 2: for it? Are you saving enough money for it? Are
49:26
Speaker 2: you giving yourself a break that you don't have to
49:29
Speaker 2: get everything resolved next year? You're going to have this
49:33
Speaker 2: longer runway, presumably.
49:35
Speaker 1: Right.
49:36
Speaker 2: And so think about that in terms of your own reinvention,
49:40
Speaker 2: your desires, your dreams, your thoughts, your goals in terms of,
49:45
Speaker 2: you know, a long life, a long healthy life, hopefully.
49:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. And then do something about it. Figure out
49:54
Speaker 1: how to amplify the parts of yourself that you want
49:56
Speaker 1: to experience more of and also what you need to
49:59
Speaker 1: be doing consistently in order to take care of the hardware.
50:02
Speaker 1: That's right.
50:04
Speaker 2: All right. That's right.
50:04
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for spending this time with us today.
50:07
Speaker 1: Michael Clinton, you guys, the new book is Longevity Nation. Michael,
50:11
Speaker 1: tell us where to keep up with you, learn more
50:13
Speaker 1: about what you're doing, the book, the foundations.
50:16
Speaker 2: Yep. Thank you. Follow me on LinkedIn. I'm on LinkedIn,
50:19
Speaker 2: you know, is my preferred method because I do a
50:21
Speaker 2: lot on longevity there. RoarForward.com is our website. We have
50:25
Speaker 2: a free newsletter. As I mentioned, you can see all
50:27
Speaker 2: the stuff that we're up to and live a long
50:30
Speaker 2: and happy life. Amazing.
50:32
Speaker 1: Thank you again so much for your time today.
50:34
Speaker 2: It's been great. Thanks, Liz.
50:45
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. You guys, that was such an
50:49
Speaker 1: interesting conversation with Michael. You know, I didn't want to
50:53
Speaker 1: derail his train of thought, so I resisted my natural
50:56
Speaker 1: impulse to interrupt and interject. But You know, part of
50:59
Speaker 1: what was coming up for me is, you know, I
51:01
Speaker 1: think I personally have probably not even been paying enough
51:05
Speaker 1: attention to some of these things sometimes. Like, you know,
51:07
Speaker 1: just how easy it is to get into your little
51:11
Speaker 1: whatever you're.
51:11
Speaker 2: Doing, right?
51:12
Speaker 1: And I lose sight of some of the broader perspective,
51:17
Speaker 1: you know, that I feel better when I exercise every day.
51:20
Speaker 1: And then sometimes I'm like, no, I can't. I don't
51:22
Speaker 1: have time. But, you know, I'm definitely feeling better. recommitted
51:26
Speaker 1: to that daily practice for sure. I hope you are too.
51:30
Speaker 1: But the other thing that Michael brought up that I
51:32
Speaker 1: thought was just so powerful is like, what are we
51:37
Speaker 1: all doing to intentionally stay connected to who we really are,
51:44
Speaker 1: what's important to us, what we care about, what we
51:47
Speaker 1: want more of? Because I think it's that quiet voice
51:51
Speaker 1: inside of us all that can be Easy to ignore,
51:55
Speaker 1: especially when life is so busy or we're so hyper-focused
51:59
Speaker 1: on other things. And so Michael dropped a bunch of
52:02
Speaker 1: great strategies, right? Like what are the five words you'd
52:05
Speaker 1: use to describe yourself? Ask your friends to do that.
52:08
Speaker 1: What do they say? What are the common elements? I
52:12
Speaker 1: also have at my disposal, and I'll share some with you,
52:15
Speaker 1: some other tools that I have encountered over the years
52:18
Speaker 1: that I think give you great visibility into some of
52:21
Speaker 1: the same things. I am a big fan of Susie Welsh.
52:26
Speaker 1: She's been on the show in the past. She's the
52:28
Speaker 1: founder of a system called Becoming You, which really focuses
52:32
Speaker 1: on career clarity. If that's something that you're trying to
52:36
Speaker 1: figure out, I invite you to go back through my
52:37
Speaker 1: podcast feed, look up that episode with Susie Welsh. But
52:41
Speaker 1: one of the things that she's put out that I
52:43
Speaker 1: think is fantastic and I use all the time with clients,
52:46
Speaker 1: It's a tool that I teach to the clinicians who
52:48
Speaker 1: are going through my coach training program for therapists is
52:51
Speaker 1: the values bridge assessment that will ask you a bunch
52:56
Speaker 1: of questions that are designed to illuminate your core values.
53:01
Speaker 1: But also here's the hard part, show you the gap
53:06
Speaker 1: between what you're saying your values are and how you're
53:10
Speaker 1: currently living and how big of a distance there is
53:13
Speaker 1: between what you're saying you want and what you're actually doing.
53:16
Speaker 1: not always comfortable, but important information to have, right? And
53:19
Speaker 1: so if you're interested in learning more about that, you
53:23
Speaker 1: can go to, I think it's Susie Walsh. You'll find
53:26
Speaker 1: a link to the values bridge assessment. And she has
53:29
Speaker 1: created a little discount for my listeners just because she's amazing.
53:33
Speaker 1: Use the code LHS to get, I think like 10%
53:36
Speaker 1: off your purchase if you want to go check that out.
53:38
Speaker 1: So I'm a fan. Other explorations that I think are
53:43
Speaker 1: so interesting could even be journal prompts, things like, you know,
53:48
Speaker 1: say I was 100 years old and looking back at
53:51
Speaker 1: my life and thinking about what I was most proud of,
53:55
Speaker 1: what was most valuable to me, and also potentially, what
53:59
Speaker 1: are some of my biggest regrets? And just write through it,
54:04
Speaker 1: whatever comes up or narrate it. If you're not much
54:07
Speaker 1: of a writer, you're more of a talk out loud
54:09
Speaker 1: kind of person.
54:10
Speaker 2: Great.
54:10
Speaker 1: Record yourself a voice memo. All good. But the point
54:13
Speaker 1: is to be thinking about it and answering that question
54:16
Speaker 1: for yourself and just using that as information. Again, what
54:20
Speaker 1: is the gap between the thing I'm saying that's important
54:24
Speaker 1: to me and what I want and the trajectory that
54:28
Speaker 1: I'm on? Where is this path taking me? Do I
54:31
Speaker 1: need to pivot or shift? So these are all ways
54:35
Speaker 1: of just getting access to these deeper parts of yourself
54:38
Speaker 1: that we need in order to make meaningful decisions about
54:42
Speaker 1: what to do differently. Cause you know, it's easy to
54:44
Speaker 1: do all kinds of stuff. It doesn't mean it's the
54:47
Speaker 1: right stuff that requires that insight. Um, Of course, also,
54:52
Speaker 1: that is what good coaches and therapists do, particularly coaching
54:57
Speaker 1: therapists are here to help you create clarity over your
55:00
Speaker 1: core wiring, who you are, what you want, your values,
55:05
Speaker 1: your aspirations, and also visibility into the obstacles standing in
55:11
Speaker 1: the way between what you want, and the path forward.
55:15
Speaker 1: And so that's a lot of what we do in
55:17
Speaker 1: coaching psychology. It's not just identify goals and okay, what
55:20
Speaker 1: are the action steps to get there? But really, what
55:24
Speaker 1: are the obstacles? Many times they're internal obstacles. They are
55:28
Speaker 1: the thoughts that we're harboring, old core beliefs, the stories
55:33
Speaker 1: we tell ourselves about who we are, what we're capable of,
55:36
Speaker 1: what is possible. And sometimes it's very important to examine
55:39
Speaker 1: those in an intentional way so that we can decide
55:43
Speaker 1: If those are things that are true or that maybe
55:46
Speaker 1: they're just artifacts of old experiences that it's time to
55:48
Speaker 1: let go of, because when we do that, we can
55:51
Speaker 1: start moving forward again. Go back to school, go get
55:54
Speaker 1: your private pilot's license, you know, actually start living the
55:58
Speaker 1: life that you want to live. So just be aware
56:01
Speaker 1: of that. And then lastly, if you'd like support in
56:05
Speaker 1: any of that, I have opportunities for you. Of course,
56:08
Speaker 1: through my practice, Growing Self, you can connect with a
56:13
Speaker 1: very experienced therapist who practices coaching psychology to support you
56:18
Speaker 1: in this because it's also true that this is true
56:23
Speaker 1: for me as well, by the way. one thing to
56:25
Speaker 1: get insight. Who am I? What do I want? What
56:27
Speaker 1: do I do to attain it? What are my obstacles
56:29
Speaker 1: and growth opportunities, right? But then there's also, how do
56:33
Speaker 1: I hold myself accountable and actually do the things? And
56:37
Speaker 1: that's another thing that a great coach can do for
56:40
Speaker 1: you and with you is help you actually take the
56:43
Speaker 1: action that you need to get where you.
56:45
Speaker 2: Want to go.
56:46
Speaker 1: And so that's what we specialize in, a growing self
56:48
Speaker 1: related to your self-development, related to relationship improvement, related to
56:53
Speaker 1: life design, career clarity and professional development. And the way
56:56
Speaker 1: to get started is to come to growingself.com and just
56:59
Speaker 1: request a free consultation to meet with an experienced clinician
57:02
Speaker 1: on our team to talk about who you are, what
57:05
Speaker 1: you think you might want, what's standing in your way
57:08
Speaker 1: and get a sense of how they could help you.
57:09
Speaker 1: And then one last thing before I let you go.
57:13
Speaker 1: There's another thing that I'm super jazzed about, and I
57:18
Speaker 1: just wanted to put this in front of you in
57:19
Speaker 1: case it would be a good resource, either for you
57:22
Speaker 1: or someone in your life. It is a program that
57:25
Speaker 1: I've developed called Unstuck in Eight Weeks. And this is
57:30
Speaker 1: a really special situation because, as I've mentioned on the
57:34
Speaker 1: show before, over the last few years, I have pivoted
57:38
Speaker 1: my professional focus I'm still certainly supporting clients and individuals
57:43
Speaker 1: through one-on-one work. I'll always do that.
57:45
Speaker 2: I love it.
57:46
Speaker 1: But what feels like the next layer for me is
57:50
Speaker 1: really my work around educating and developing other therapists, particularly
57:55
Speaker 1: around coaching competencies. Because therapists, we are trained to diagnose
58:01
Speaker 1: and treat clinical mental health conditions. And when people come
58:06
Speaker 1: in the door wanting something else, if it's life design,
58:09
Speaker 1: if it's career clarity, if it's a better relationship, we
58:12
Speaker 1: therapists are often left trying to use clinical mental health
58:17
Speaker 1: interventions or insight-oriented talk therapy slash counseling techniques off-label in
58:25
Speaker 1: a way that they weren't really designed for and that
58:27
Speaker 1: quite frankly don't work that well to meet the needs
58:30
Speaker 1: of people who are doing the kinds of work that
58:33
Speaker 1: we're talking about on today's episode, believe it or not.
58:37
Speaker 1: And this is a problem in the field. I think
58:39
Speaker 1: a lot of people believe that therapy is something that
58:42
Speaker 1: it really isn't. And then when they learn about coaching psychology,
58:46
Speaker 1: they're like, oh yeah, I want that. So anyway, because
58:51
Speaker 1: of this gap in my own profession, I've really pivoted
58:54
Speaker 1: into teaching other therapists, coaching psychology. And as part of this,
58:59
Speaker 1: I have a training program And an aspect of this
59:02
Speaker 1: training program is an eight week practicum where my coaching
59:06
Speaker 1: students are connected with clients, maybe even you through this
59:11
Speaker 1: unstuck in eight weeks program, where we're able to offer very, very,
59:15
Speaker 1: very low cost coaching services for this period of time
59:21
Speaker 1: to do a lot of the things that we're talking
59:24
Speaker 1: about today, getting clarity about who you are, your wiring,
59:27
Speaker 1: your values, your goals, your obstacles, your action plan, and
59:31
Speaker 1: the motivation to actually do the things. It's literally what
59:34
Speaker 1: we're doing in this program, but at a huge discount,
59:39
Speaker 1: like $ 49 a session compared to what most coaching therapists charge,
59:45
Speaker 1: which is many times that because coaching therapists are unicorns.
59:49
Speaker 1: It's very rare. So if you are interested in this,
59:53
Speaker 1: you can come to my website again, growing self forward
59:55
Speaker 1: slash grow to learn more about the unstuck in eight
59:59
Speaker 1: weeks program. You'll probably get on the wait list. This
1:00:03
Speaker 1: only opens up five times a year and the availability
1:00:07
Speaker 1: is really limited. But if you put yourself on the
1:00:09
Speaker 1: wait list now, you'll get an email when enrollment becomes
1:00:12
Speaker 1: available and you can sign up to save your place. Okay,
1:00:17
Speaker 1: so loaded you up with all kinds of resources. Thanks
1:00:20
Speaker 1: again so much for spending this time with me today.
1:00:22
Speaker 1: I hope this conversation was as interesting for you as
1:00:24
Speaker 1: it was for me. And I will be back in
1:00:26
Speaker 1: touch soon with another episode of Love, Happiness and Success.
1:00:29
Speaker 1: In the meantime, take care. Most people find their new
1:00:42
Speaker 1: favorite podcast from a friend's recommendation. And I feel like
1:00:46
Speaker 1: we're friends now. So I'm going to share one of
1:00:48
Speaker 1: my favorites with you, The Dr. Leaf Show. If you
1:00:52
Speaker 1: like mine, you're going to like hers. It is hosted
1:00:54
Speaker 1: by cognitive neuroscience and author Dr. Carolyn Leaf. She's also
1:00:58
Speaker 1: part of the Yap Media Network. It's focused on understanding
1:01:02
Speaker 1: your mind and improving your mental and emotional well-being and
1:01:05
Speaker 1: the connection to mental, emotional, and physical foundations of all three.
1:01:11
Speaker 2: Dr.
1:01:11
Speaker 1: Leaf does a beautiful job of translating scientific concepts into
1:01:14
Speaker 1: practical insights, but also actionable tools that you can apply
1:01:18
Speaker 1: to your everyday life and start getting traction on things
1:01:21
Speaker 1: like stress, changing thought patterns, and developing yourself. Her science-informed
1:01:25
Speaker 1: strategies are such a nice complement to the things you're
1:01:28
Speaker 1: learning here on Love, Happiness, and Success, and I hope
1:01:31
Speaker 1: you check it out. If you want to better understand
1:01:32
Speaker 1: your mind and learn practical strategies for managing it, listen
1:01:35
Speaker 1: to The Dr. Leaf Show. You can subscribe today on
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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen.