Latest / The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast / Sex Addiction may mean the true YOU never fully evolved and got ambushed

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Sex Addiction may mean the true YOU never fully evolved and got ambushed · The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast

• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sex porn love addiction is all about self-soothing to manage your emotions.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: It got set up back in the childhood development years.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not about sex, it's not about porn.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about the repeated use as set up the physiology to crave those dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, self-manufactured drugs in the body.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's impacting women, men, children, age 10 to 75 across all the age ranges, the sexes, the cultures, the professions.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: It increased exponentially during COVID lockdown and impacting so many lives.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: The Kairos Center has created the first online comprehensive Sex Porn Love Addiction.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's a video on demand recovery program which you can access from anywhere in the world and begin to see identifiable changes just within six weeks of beginning this weekly program.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Kairos means your appointed time.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't it your time to reclaim your life?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Bring colour back to life without shame.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Click the link below and begin your journey.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: You owe it to yourself and to others.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: This next exercise is about understanding those core emotional needs that all of us have and cannot be denied.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that we're human beings means we all of us have the need for these top ten core emotional needs to be met.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Some really clever people have done some research and have identified that there are a top ten number of core needs.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: What are we talking about here?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: The need to feel acceptance, affection, appreciation, approval, attention, support, security, respect, encouragement is about you identifying what is your top three most important core emotional need out of those ten.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Remember what I constantly am saying is that I would suggest over ninety percent of couples in conflict that come into my office or I work with online are in conflict, in dispute over their depleted and unmet core emotional needs.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big statement.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I would suggest probably over 95% of such couples in conflict is because of their core emotional needs not being met.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: And they're doing something to try and get those needs met, but working away in the unconscious, remember.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're not often aware of why they're fighting.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's never about the top of the toothpaste.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's never about the toilet seat that I keep telling you about to put down.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Core means it goes to the heart of me.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's foundational, it goes to the very heart of who I am.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So core emotional needs are not negotiable.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And the way I view them is over time, the different systems that we interact in aren't meeting and keeping topped up those core emotional needs.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just your partner that's responsible to keep your sense of acceptance, affection, approval, comfort, encouragement, respect, security met and topped up all the time.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say on a continuum of one to ten, to keep it topped up up to eight, nine, ten.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's not solely your partner.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: We get those core needs met in all the different systems.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: For example, the workplace, our work gives us a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment, and so it's a heavy responsibility to place on your partner to keep all of those core needs topped up, but for sure your partner plays a very significant part in depleting by not meeting those core needs over time, and you see, for long periods of time, we just learn to get on with life because it's just the way life is, and anyway, we can't really name the thing that's going on in our life where we're fighting, flighting, freezing with the other person.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have the vocabulary to say I really verbally attacked you and went after you because for the last six months you just haven't complimented me or given me a sense of feeling appreciated and approved, secure, respected, and constantly you're giving that to other people, and I just don't get that met.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, sometimes we can voice it like that, but most of the time we don't have the language to tell the other person that's why we're upset with them, and that's why we just balled them out, just because they asked if we wanted a cup of tea.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: We don't understand why we're reacting to the other person quite the way that we just did.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: At times we catch ourselves and think, wow, that was a bit over the top, even on my dot.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: The way I responded to that request or comment by the other person, gosh, what's going on for me?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't always find what's going on for me.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Send me a message.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to get your relationship back onto a better footing for your future.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do some work without shame and bring colour back to life.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Send the email, send the message to me, Gary McFarlane at the Kairos Center, and let's begin to reclaim your quality of life.