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What Failure Taught Justin About Asking for Help · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Today are really tough Happy Families podcasts because I need
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: to confess to something and that is that I failed.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: There's something that I set out to achieve and I
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: didn't do it. In fact, I completely bombed. I had
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: to pull out. I had to give up and I
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: was not quote unquote successful in what I was trying
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to do. It was very public. I had high expectations
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: and it didn't work out. We're going to talk more
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: about that right after this, dealing with failure and the
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: lessons that it teaches us on the Happy Families podcast. Hello,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: welcome to the Happy Families podcast, real parenting solutions every
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: single day, Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast, where Justin and
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Kylie Coulson, parents of six kids, I'm the author of
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: 11 books. Kylie, a bit of a tough one today.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Before we get to the tough stuff, I just want
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: to highlight last week, it was our birthday week. We
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: made a big deal about your birthday. We had that
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: fun chat on Wednesday. where you interviewed me for my birthday.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: But I've walked back into the office after a week away.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: The last week I've been doing a whole lot of
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: recording stuff for Channel 9. And I also got to
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: spend a day talking about healthy masculinity and teaching boys
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: with the staff at Shaw and Mossman Prep to wonderful boys'
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: schools down in Sydney. And at the end of a
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: week away, I've walked into my office and my walls
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: are covered in photographs for my birthday party. Our fifth daughter, Lily,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: snuck into the office. Well, she didn't have to sneak
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: in because I wasn't here. But she's come into the office.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: She's put all of these wonderful photos of our lives together.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: How did you work out it was Lily who did it?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: All over the office walls. Because Lily's in almost every
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: single photo. She's extremely well represented. I don't know how
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: else to say it. Lily is everywhere. Lots of photos
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  Speaker 1: of Lily with her dad.
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  Speaker 2: Her absolute favourite is when she was about two and
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: a half, three. she was really cold down at the
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: park and you had unzipped your jacket and put her
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  Speaker 2: inside it like a kangaroo pouch and her head's just
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: popping out over the top.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's my little Joey in that grey jacket. So
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: that was a lovely surprise and I really appreciated that.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: It's a lovely little birthday surprise. And now I feel
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  Speaker 1: like I can't get any work done because I keep
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: looking at all of these pictures of our kids and thinking, oh,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: what a rich life. How lucky am I?
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I did wonder if it was going to be a
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: bit distracting.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: It's extremely distracting. Yeah. What's interesting is I don't remember
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: many of these places and experiences. Like life is so
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: full and there's so much going on that I literally
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: don't remember them all.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow. Well, we've got more important things to talk
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: about this morning.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I think that's pretty important. But yes, today I want
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: to talk about, we set a goal to raise $ 50, 000
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: for Top Blokes. That was the fundraising goal. I want
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: to tell you how we did. To everyone who donated,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: thank you. More on that shortly. but we do need
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: to talk about the lift the load challenge.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: This was literally the biggest walk of my life.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I think it's unusual that people would walk 50 kilometers.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Not normal. So here's the setting. Toploaks, I'm an ambassador
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: for Toploaks.
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  Speaker 2: So before you go on, why did you pick Toploaks
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: to be an ambassador for? Because I know that you've
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: been asked multiple times by different charities to be an
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: ambassador for? What was it about Top Blokes that stood
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: out to you?
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  Speaker 1: So Top Blokes, they go into schools and sport clubs
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: and other places where there are a lot of men
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  Speaker 1: and boys. And essentially, they ask the people who are
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: in charge, who's vulnerable here? Who's at risk? Can we
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: get them together? And can we provide them with six
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: months worth of mentoring? They run them through a course
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: that is, it's not sort of one and done. It's
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: not in and out like so much of today's quick
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: fix oriented work. It's Six months of careful, programmed mentoring
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: to help these boys. And I've spoken with so many
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: of them who have been improved so much because of it.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: And there's good data behind what they're doing. I got
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: involved with them as a result of Logan, our nephew,
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  Speaker 1: passing three years ago from suicide. So top blokes every
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: October do this thing called the Lift the Load Challenge.
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  Speaker 1: They give you a 10-kilo vest. With that vest, you're
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  Speaker 1: supposed to go for 50 kilometers worth of walks.
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  Speaker 2: Through a month.
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  Speaker 1: Through the month. But to me, that's kind of easy.
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  Speaker 1: I can do that. So I thought, let's make it challenging.
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  Speaker 1: Let's do it in a day. Let's do something silly.
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  Speaker 1: Let's walk 50 Ks in a day wearing the 10
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  Speaker 1: kilo vest. That's hard. It requires training. In fact- It's
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: so hard that one of the guys who came on
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: the walk with us last weekend, he's done it before
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: and he had sleepless nights for three days leading up
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  Speaker 1: to it because he knows how hard it was. And
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: it's just a really, really arduous task. So maybe if
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: I share the story and then you can fill in
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: some stuff as we go. But I do want to
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: talk about the fundraising as well. Don't let me forget.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: So we were on the central coast of New South Wales,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: which was where Logan grew up. And it's special to
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: our family. Some of my family there, my parents have
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: been there their whole lives. And we walked from, for
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: those who know the coast, from Masters Beach north to
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  Speaker 1: Wombrill and then back to Gosford around the Brisbane water
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: into your minor beach. So 50 kilometres up and down
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  Speaker 1: hills and wearing a 10 kilo vest before the event, i.e.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: didn't really want anyone to know this, but I injured
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: myself during training. I came home one night and said,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I've tweaked my calf. I went to the physio a
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: few times, spent a whole lot of money. Physio couldn't
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: fix it and said, just rest. So I went into
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: this thing injured and completely underdone. But I thought if
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I've rested well, I might be okay. And for the
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: first 20 Ks, Kylie, I was really good. But we
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  Speaker 1: stopped for a break and The guys left without us
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: because I was still organizing something. And so we chased,
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  Speaker 1: we ran to catch up with the 10 kilos on
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  Speaker 1: our shoulders after walking 20 Ks. And it was during
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: that little jog for a couple of hundred meters that
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  Speaker 1: I felt my calf go. I didn't say anything to
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  Speaker 1: you for a few Ks, but after a few Ks,
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  Speaker 1: I realized that I was in trouble. And at 25 Ks,
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  Speaker 1: I thought to myself, I don't know if I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to finish this. This is really hurting. I'm starting to
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  Speaker 1: favor one leg over the other. I'm limping a bit.
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  Speaker 1: We stopped for lunch at about 27 or 28 Ks.
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  Speaker 1: And I took my shoes and socks off, sat down,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: took the load off, ate food. Starting up again with
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: fresh shoes and socks and putting the load on, I
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: thought I'd be okay. I thought the rest would be good.
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  Speaker 1: But it seems that stopping made my calf worse, not better.
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  Speaker 1: And within a couple of kilometers, as we walked over
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  Speaker 1: the bridge next to the stadium on the Gosford waterfront,
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  Speaker 1: I thought, I remember saying to you, I'm in trouble.
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  Speaker 1: I don't think I'm going to get this finished. At
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  Speaker 1: kilometre 30 at West Gosford, we said to our son-in-law, Jared,
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  Speaker 1: who was also walking with us, I'm in trouble. I'm
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  Speaker 1: not going to get this finished. And he did something remarkable.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: He said, let me carry your 10 kilos. He was
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  Speaker 1: already carrying 10 kilos himself, but he took my 10
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  Speaker 1: kilos off me and added it to his 10. So
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  Speaker 1: now he's carrying 20 kilograms. And for the next couple
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: of kilometres, we walked together, but I was limping and
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  Speaker 1: I was getting slower. The group was getting further ahead.
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  Speaker 1: You continued on, but he stayed with me and I
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  Speaker 1: stopped so that I could stretch and try and get
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  Speaker 1: my calf feeling better. And after a couple of minutes,
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  Speaker 1: everyone was out of sight. And I said to Jared,
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  Speaker 1: I'm not finishing this. My calf is not going to
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  Speaker 1: get better and we've still got 18 kilometers to go.
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  Speaker 1: This is crazy. I asked him to give me the load,
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  Speaker 1: my load, and he could just run and catch up
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  Speaker 1: with you. He wouldn't do it. He knew that I
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: was going to try and finish it with the load myself.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: And so he just took off. He ran. chased you
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  Speaker 1: for about three kilometers, carrying 20 kilos.
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  Speaker 2: Doing five minute Ks, I might add.
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  Speaker 1: And I limped and limped and limped until I couldn't
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  Speaker 1: go any further. I was at 38 kilometers and I
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  Speaker 1: had to call for the support vehicle to come and
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  Speaker 1: get me. I actually had to stop. I was walking
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  Speaker 1: at 1.5 kilometers an hour when I stopped because I
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  Speaker 1: just couldn't do it. Literally, I felt like such a failure.
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  Speaker 1: I felt absolutely horrendous to quit, especially since I'd started
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: this thing. We had about 20 people in the group.
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  Speaker 1: Everybody was doing the walk. I was the one that
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  Speaker 1: was quitting. It was my idea. I wanted to raise
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: the money. People would put money in. I felt like
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  Speaker 1: I'd let them down. And I felt like I let
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the foundation down. And I felt like I let myself down.
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  Speaker 1: I couldn't finish it. I'd done eight kilometers without the load,
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: which was not the point. And I knew Jared was
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: out there carrying my load. So after the break, our
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: fundraising total, how we actually went with our goal of
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: achieving 50K for 50K, and the Big lessons to come
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: from this because there is more to the story, including ambulances,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: including tears, and including blisters chafing and people not being
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: able to walk for days. Stay with us. That's next.
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  Speaker 2: We're back.
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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. Okay, Kylie, so before we
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: finish the story, because there is more to this story,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I just want to share how things went from a
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: fundraising perspective. point of view, because it's been a pretty
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: interesting outcome here. From a fundraising perspective, I decided that
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: it would be great to raise $ 50, 000, walk 50K, raise 50K.
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  Speaker 2: And how did you honestly feel about that goal when
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: you set it?
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  Speaker 1: Ridiculous, implausible, impossible. I just thought 50K for 50K sounded good.
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  Speaker 2: You like alliteration.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounded good. Let's set a lofty goal. And
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: then I even went further and I said to Kieran,
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: my brother-in-law, Kieran Foran, coach of the Manly Seagulls, I
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: said to him, why don't you set a $ 50, 000 target
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: as well? Like you're with the Seagulls, there's corporate sponsorship.
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  Speaker 1: Surely with your huge Instagram following, you'll be able to
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: raise 50. Let's go for 100. But we call it
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: 50K for 50K. So I've been in touch with top
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: blokes and my individual page, so not including Kieran and others,
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: my individual page has raised a total of $ 48, 000. I'm
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: $ 2, 000 short of my target. So far. But it didn't
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: end up being just Kieran and I. Some other people
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: found out about what was going on and they asked
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: if they could be part of our team. They wouldn't
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: have been involved at all, but because they heard that
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: we were doing this, they said, well, this is great.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Let's help. And so we ended up having Kieran's brother, Liam.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: We had this wonderful guy, an electrician from Sydney by
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: the name of Matt, who his daughter came up with
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: the Fosball caps that they started to sell. Matt got
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: in touch and said, let me help. We had Justin Horrow.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Horrow is a rugby league player and podcaster. He got
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: involved and a handful of other people, probably too many
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: to mention. The total number of dollars raised by the
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: team from Mick Astini, Justin Horrow, Leo Harrigan, Jake Norford,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Kieran and myself is currently sitting at $ 94, 991. So $ 95, 000
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: is what we raised today. And can I just say
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: an enormous thank you to everyone who's donated. There was
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: one foundation that subscribes to the Happy Families newsletter. They
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: read the newsletter. They were touched by it. They reached out.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: They donated $ 10, 000.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: But what was amazing about that particular donation was there
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: was another foundation that promised that they would match any
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: donation that was donated on Saturday the 10th.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: So that 10,000 became 20. Yeah. Yeah. I think they
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: were called the Queensland Family Foundation or something like that.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I hope that I got that right. Please forgive me
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: if I didn't. But at this point, it looks like
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: we can get another 127 young men through the Top
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Blokes program. It's just an incredible result. I'm just overwhelmed.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: We had donations from a number of people who I
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: probably can't mention on the podcast, but some really substantial donations.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: But there were also hundreds of people who made small
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: donations because that's what they had. And to me, that
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: is as meaningful. Somebody chipped in, many people chipped in
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: with just 20 bucks or 10 bucks because that's what
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: they had. And it's like, it matters. Like that helped
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: to get us to $ 95, 000.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: What I love is the acknowledgement right here that not
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: only does every dollar count, but the power of one.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: The lesson that we learn is that one person with
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: a desire to create change can actually do that. Yeah, yeah.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Because it was just going to be me. It was
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: just going to be me. And everyone got on board.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: As we were walking, Matt was literally on the phone,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: ringing everybody in his phone book and just saying, hey, mate,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: I'm in the middle of doing this walk.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: And I'm slowly dying here.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: I'm wondering if you can donate. I was just watching
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: him go through the list. And as a result, he
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: did like $ 20, 000 that day just from ringing his friends
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: and saying, Can you donate? Can you be a part
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: of this? Just people who are willing to take action. Yeah.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: So Matt Vela, the electrician. Mick Astini runs a gym,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: an impact gym on the central coast of Derina. Just
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: so amazing. It's also worth highlighting. When Matt Vela got
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: to the end, he's the electrician, he collapsed. We had
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: to call an ambulance. Like this 50 kilometers broke people.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Liam Foran. Didn't sleep for three nights because he knew
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: what he was in for. He knew how bad it
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: is because he did it a couple of years ago.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he did it last year and he said it
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: literally broke him.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: And the plan was he was not going to do
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: it all.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: So we need to finish this story because blisters, chafing, sunburn.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: A dehydration, people collapsing, literally me pulling out because of
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: my calf injury and my inability to finish it. The
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: feeling of failure. I don't feel like I failed for
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: a couple of reasons. Number one, I know I've walked
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: 50K in the month, so I definitely ticked the box.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: But number two, my goal was $ 50, 000. We've hit $ 95, 000.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Doesn't feel like a failure. But in the moment, it did.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: What happened next, though, is amazing. First things first, you
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: only planned to walk 20Ks and then you were going
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: to pull out.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: You walked the whole 50. So huge kudos to you.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: But I want to go back to Jared for just
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: a moment. We can talk all about Mick and Matt
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: and Dave and Kieran and all the boys that got involved.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: You were the only female doing it. Although some of
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: the women from Toploaks subbed in and out as well.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: And Mel from Toploaks only planned on doing a short
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: walk and she walked something like 25 Ks as well.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: She was amazing. But when you got to the 40
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: kilometer mark, Jared had now been carrying my load for
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: about 10 kilometers, including running a couple of kilometers, 20
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: kilos of load. And you looked at him and you
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: said something like, you're not going to finish this if
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: you keep trying to carry that 20 kilos.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: He was really struggling. And I just looked at him
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: and I said, Jared, I said, it's wonderful when you
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: feel strong and capable that you would offer to carry
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: somebody else's load. I said, but there comes a time
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: where you have to recognize when that load is no
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: longer a bearable and it's actually now impacting your capacity
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: to live your life and he looked at me and
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: he just said i think i'm gonna have to put
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: it down like i just i can't carry it and
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: um i didn't yeah it was it was it was
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: i'm emotional because it was it was a really big
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: day yeah it was it was a really big day
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: um for a really important cause and it's very close
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: to our hearts and i just loved seeing a group
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: of men come together to support one another and do
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: something hard.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Even if they did leave me behind.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: But I think that it's really important as we kind
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: of close up to just acknowledge that we're not actually
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: asked to carry somebody else's load. And more times than not,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: when we try to, it actually means that we find
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: ourselves drowning in it as well. But what we can
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: do is share that load. We can support people. We
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: can be a lot more aware of the challenges that
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: others are going through. And the only way we can
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: be aware is being in people's lives. It's that messaging,
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: are you okay? That acknowledgement that we're checking in with
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: our mates. The challenge is, and this is the one
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: thing that I wrestled with on the day, there were
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: plenty of times where I could see that men were
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: struggling And there was offers for help and they wouldn't
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: take it. And I don't know how we break that.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: So there's a couple of things that are important here.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: And we do need to wrap because our time is
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: pretty well done. But this matters. First off, I went
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: into this with an injury and I didn't tell anyone.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: I was trying to be the tough guy and not
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: let anyone know. I just hoped that it would be okay.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I think it's human nature. I think it's pretty normal,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: pretty standard. May or may not be a problem. Probably
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: wasn't smart. But the bigger challenge... is being willing to
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: admit when things are tough. I don't have a problem
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: with pushing through hard things. A whole lot of men,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: and you, did a really hard thing that day because
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: of a refusal to give up. That's resilience. That's persistence.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: That's determination. And that's what so much of success in
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: life is about. And so I feel like a bit
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: of a failure from that point of view. I keep
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: telling myself that if I wasn't injured, I would have finished.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: But I don't know now. I'm kind of curious. Could
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: I actually finish the 50 kilometers with the load and
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: and how important it is it but but making the
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: decision to pull the pin literally one of the hardest
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: things i've had to do in a long time until
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: it got to the point where i was just i
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: i can't finish this i literally can't go on but
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: i don't want to downplay the power of lifting somebody
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: else's load because that's what the day was about and
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: jared did that brilliantly but your point at some level
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: we reach a stage where carrying somebody else isn't in
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: our best interest either. And we've got to be willing
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: to say, I care a great deal, but this is
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: not mine to carry. I think there's something powerful in that.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: And context is everything. There's no right or wrong, potentially,
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: but wisdom is required.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: There's a special mention to your mom. As a 70-year-old woman,
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: she put that 10-kilo vest on and she walked 10 kilometers.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: She'd only planned on doing about five. But this, again,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: is such a cause that's really close to her heart
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: and it was so important for her to be a
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: part of it. But there was a hill. We got
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: to a point where there was a hill up ahead
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: and she knew that she just couldn't go on. And
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: she pulled us all together and she just said, she said,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: it's my honest belief that most people want to keep going.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: But when their load feels so heavy, they don't think
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: there's any other way out than to end things. And
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: she kind of just used it as an opportunity for
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: a metaphor. There are some times where we just have
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: to take the load off and share it with somebody else.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: And I feel like that was probably one of the
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: biggest take-homes for me. It's the fact that I think
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: people really want to be a part of something, but
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: sometimes it just feels too hard. And how do we
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: share that load? How do we help?
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, being part of something, the connection. And that made
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: the weekend great. Anyway. Thank you for listening to us.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much to everyone who contributed. It's still
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: not too late, by the way. We'll link to the
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Lift the Load Challenge in the show notes. I'd love
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: to get another $ 2, 500 and actually push over the $ 50, 000 mark.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: That was the ultimate goal. If you've got a spare
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: $ 50, 000 or $ 100, 000, I know times are tight, but if
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: you can chuck $ 50, 000 or $ 100, 000 at this We'd be
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: so stoked to wrap this up. It finishes at the
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: end of the month. But if you could donate, we'd
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: just be thrilled. Thanks for listening. We hope that there's
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: some inspo here about lifting loads and supporting others and
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: carrying loads. Have a wonderful weekend. And the Happy Families
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: podcast is back on Monday with more. Thanks to Justin Rulon,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: who looks after sound and audio, and Nim Hammonds, who
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: provides additional support. Have a great weekend.