Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #218 I'll Do Better Tomorrow (Changed Heart)

Transcript

#218 I'll Do Better Tomorrow (Changed Heart) · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
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  Speaker 2: Now, why don't you know what's changed? And she looked
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  Speaker 2: at me as only a little six year old can,
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  Speaker 2: and she said, Mummy, I changed my heart.
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  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom
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  Speaker 1: and dad.
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  Speaker 3: Hello.
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  Speaker 4: This is doctor Justin Colson, who is struggling to read
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  Speaker 4: this morning. I'm the author of six books about raising
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  Speaker 4: happy families. I'm here with my wife and podcast partner
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  Speaker 4: Kylie missus Happy Families, and we've got a five star
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  Speaker 4: rating and review from what I thought said l Bin Germany,
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  Speaker 4: but Missus Happy Families has pointed out that it.
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  Speaker 2: Might be LB in Germany.
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  Speaker 4: I've misread that, so LB in Germany. We really appreciate
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  Speaker 4: you sending through some comments on the podcast.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: Love the sharing of real life five stars. Just listen
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  Speaker 2: to your episode I'll Do Tomorrow two one hundred and
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  Speaker 2: eight and was very moved. I really love that you
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  Speaker 2: both share real life stories about what you're dealing with
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  Speaker 2: that we can all relate to. It helps putting the
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  Speaker 2: teachings into practice so that I don't feel like the
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  Speaker 2: bad parent who got it wrong. It helps me to
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  Speaker 2: feel normal. And added bonus is that my husband loves
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  Speaker 2: the podcast. That is a huge plus and I can
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  Speaker 2: see it's giving him better ideas for parenting as well
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  Speaker 2: as our marriage. I think he was tired of hearing
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  Speaker 2: it from me all the time and appreciates hearing doctor
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  Speaker 2: Justin's point of view. Thank you, Hey.
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  Speaker 3: Isn't that great for two reasons.
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  Speaker 4: First of all, you're the one that always gets the praise,
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  Speaker 4: but we just love we love that what we do
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  Speaker 4: in this podcast helps families be happier. So thank you
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  Speaker 4: l Bin Germany or LB in Germany, depending one. I
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  Speaker 4: think you're right LB in Germany for that five star rating.
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  Speaker 4: We got some feedback as well via podcasts that's podcasts
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  Speaker 4: with an s podcasts at happy Families dot com dot
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  Speaker 4: au from somebody who wanted to remain anonymous, but they said, so,
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  Speaker 4: you remember the other day we were talking about getting
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  Speaker 4: your kids to sleep and how hard it can be
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  Speaker 4: to get them to sleep and the torturous challenge of
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  Speaker 4: being woken up in the middle of the night again
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  Speaker 4: and again and again. In fact, we got quite a
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  Speaker 4: bit of feedback from that one. But somebody sent through
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  Speaker 4: a clip from the Australian cartoon show.
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  Speaker 3: Called Bluey and Our Kids.
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  Speaker 4: We don't really watch a whole lot of blue but
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  Speaker 4: everybody loves it and every time I've watched one, it's
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  Speaker 4: just been beautiful. But this person said that sleep podcast
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  Speaker 4: reminded me of the Bluey Sleeping cartoon episode, so we're
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  Speaker 4: going to link to that in the show notes because
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  Speaker 4: you haven't seen it yet.
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  Speaker 3: But I spent seven and.
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  Speaker 4: A half minutes, and that's all it is, seven and
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  Speaker 4: a half minutes watching.
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  Speaker 3: It, and it was just so good.
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  Speaker 4: It was brilliant about his Bluey and Bingo, the two
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  Speaker 4: little baby dogs, and they're getting up for a cup
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  Speaker 4: of water and they're having nightmares and they're kicking the
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  Speaker 4: parents out of the bed and they're going to the toilet,
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  Speaker 4: and it was just so beautifully done. And it was
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  Speaker 4: also heartwarming as well, and it made me think, I
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  Speaker 4: hope that we got the balance right when we talked
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  Speaker 4: about it, because it's such a beautiful thing to be
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  Speaker 4: able to sleep with your kids and hold them close,
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  Speaker 4: but it's also such a torturous experience and so much
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  Speaker 4: of it comes down to mindset. And I just love
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  Speaker 4: that Blewy's parents are so service oriented and so willing
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  Speaker 4: to do what it takes for their kids. So that
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  Speaker 4: was that we got to do old Do Better Tomorrow,
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  Speaker 4: which is our favorite segment of the week, and obviously
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  Speaker 4: LB in Germany likes it as well. Well.
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  Speaker 2: It's funny because the episode that she actually referred to,
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  Speaker 2: I was going to refer to today based on my
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  Speaker 2: little experience, so that was a really nice little tie
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  Speaker 2: in there.
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  Speaker 4: So episode two eight we'll link to that as well
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  Speaker 4: for people who have missed it. So I'm going to
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  Speaker 4: go first today because well, I know what you're going
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  Speaker 4: to share, I know what you're going to talk about,
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  Speaker 4: and I think that that should be what we leave
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  Speaker 4: people with. But I just want to do a really
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  Speaker 4: short I'll do Better Tomorrow because, by the way, for
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  Speaker 4: those of you who are new, I'll Do Better Tomorrow
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  Speaker 4: is basically.
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  Speaker 3: Every Friday we reflect on the week.
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  Speaker 4: We look for parenting insights, wins, losses, challenges, up evils,
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  Speaker 4: dramas and even the good things because it's this is
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  Speaker 4: the sort of stuff that helps us to be better
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  Speaker 4: parents more intentional. A couple of weeks ago, we went
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  Speaker 4: away as a couple. We had your mum and dad
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  Speaker 4: look after the kids and we had a couple of
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  Speaker 4: nights away where we got to breathe and relax and
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  Speaker 4: recalibrate and reorient ourselves so that we can be better parents.
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  Speaker 4: And one of the things that we talked about was
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  Speaker 4: getting the routine.
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  Speaker 3: Back on track.
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  Speaker 4: And one of my favorite things that I've done over
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  Speaker 4: the years, and something that the kids love, is something
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  Speaker 4: that I haven't done for a while, and that's daddy
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  Speaker 4: daughter dates.
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  Speaker 2: The kids love those.
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  Speaker 3: The kids love them, and so last.
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  Speaker 2: I also love dubbing you in because you get them
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  Speaker 2: things that you wouldn't normally get them, like McDonald's ice creams.
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  Speaker 3: I've got gosh, you weren't supposed to know about that.
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  Speaker 4: So we're trying really hard to not eat any process
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  Speaker 4: sugary junk and every now and again, why the six.
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  Speaker 2: Year old doesn't have any problems letting me know.
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  Speaker 4: Every now and again I buy a yuck Donald's ice
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  Speaker 4: cream or something like that. Anyway, so last week I
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  Speaker 4: took the ten year old out and we had a
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  Speaker 4: daddy daughter date. Took it to a cafe, had breakfast,
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  Speaker 4: she ordered just an amazing burger, and then we just
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  Speaker 4: kind of hung out for about an hour hour and
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  Speaker 4: a half, pretty cheap, pretty low key, didn't actually quote
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  Speaker 4: unquote do anything other than have breakfast together and then
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  Speaker 4: go and run a couple of errands. We went and
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  Speaker 4: recycled the aluminium cans that she collects, all the bottles
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  Speaker 4: and cans. But just connecting with her on that one
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  Speaker 4: on one level, having that time and listening to her
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  Speaker 4: and getting to see her heart and listen to her
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  Speaker 4: tell me about her life, it was just brilliant and beautiful.
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  Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, Okay, this is what it's about.
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  Speaker 3: I'm getting it.
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  Speaker 4: Right, which is great because the last few weeks I've
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  Speaker 4: shared how I've been getting it wrong a fair bit,
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  Speaker 4: and I thought, I've got to share this on I'll
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  Speaker 4: do better tomorrow. Because for any parent who's having a
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  Speaker 4: hard time with their kids, regardless of whether they're three
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  Speaker 4: years old or ten years old or sixteen years old,
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  Speaker 4: taking some time out doing something a bit out of
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  Speaker 4: the ordinary and just having a date with no agenda
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  Speaker 4: makes such a difference.
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  Speaker 2: What I love about those experiences that you have with
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  Speaker 2: the girls is I just I notice a real change
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  Speaker 2: in them as they walk through the door. And for
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  Speaker 2: our ten year old, she kind of just stood a
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  Speaker 2: little taller that day, and the way she spoke to
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  Speaker 2: me there was just there was a confidence in her
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  Speaker 2: voice that I hadn't noticed, you know, kind of in
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  Speaker 2: recent times. So I really love just how much this
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  Speaker 2: experience lifts and edifies our children.
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  Speaker 4: And something really funny happened that night as well, because
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  Speaker 4: her big sister, her thirteen year old sister, had an
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  Speaker 4: opportunity of privilege on Saturday night, and she started to
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  Speaker 4: go oh, and then she stopped herself and out loud,
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  Speaker 4: she said, I was going to complain about that not
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  Speaker 4: being fair, but I've had a pretty good day. I
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  Speaker 4: got to have a daddy daughter date with Dad this morning,
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  Speaker 4: and then Mum took me down to Kmart to buy
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  Speaker 4: some stuff this afternoon, So I'm not going to complain.
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  Speaker 3: And if you want to go and do that, then
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  Speaker 3: you just do it. I was like, winning, Wow, where
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  Speaker 3: did that come from?
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  Speaker 4: Anyway, I can't wait to hear yours because yours is
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  Speaker 4: an absolute cracker.
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  Speaker 1: That's coming up next, it's the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 5: Imagine a Home. We're discipl got results without anyone having
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  Speaker 5: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and donts
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  Speaker 5: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits
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  Speaker 5: with love, compassion, and humanity. Find it now at happyfamilies
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  Speaker 5: dot com dot au slash shop.
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  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time
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  Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now, and today we
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  Speaker 2: are talking about our favorite thing. We love, dissecting and
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  Speaker 2: you know, really just taking apart our week and being
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  Speaker 2: able to share the insights that we have as parents.
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  Speaker 3: And this week we're sharing good stuff.
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  Speaker 4: Every now and again we talk about how we totally
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  Speaker 4: get it wrong, and we get so much feedback from
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  Speaker 4: people who appreciate that we get it wrong or we're
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  Speaker 4: upfront about it. But this week winning, winning all the way.
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  Speaker 4: So I've had my daddy daughter. To date, we've got
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  Speaker 4: a happy ten year old tell us about your older
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  Speaker 4: better tomorrow with our six year old Emily.
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  Speaker 2: Well, it was great the feedback that we got from
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  Speaker 2: LB in Germany. She talked about episode two, one hundred
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  Speaker 2: and eight, and that was actually what I was going
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  Speaker 2: to refer back to because in that episode we talked
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  Speaker 2: about just some of the challenges we've been having with
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  Speaker 2: Miss SIGs. Miss Emily. She has really just been pushing
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  Speaker 2: the boundaries a lot lately, and I've been really really
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  Speaker 2: struggling with it because she's such a beautiful child, but
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  Speaker 2: she's very strong will, she's very independent, and she really
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  Speaker 2: really just wants to do life her way, and so
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  Speaker 2: trying to work with that can be a little bit
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  Speaker 2: challenging at times. And so in that episode, we just
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  Speaker 2: talked about the fact that we kind of went back
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  Speaker 2: to some basics and we reassessed the routine and you know,
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  Speaker 2: kind of checked in with her and those checkpoints to
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  Speaker 2: help her understand and know what was going to be.
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  Speaker 3: Expected of her.
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  Speaker 2: But over the last few weeks, we've seen incremental changes
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  Speaker 2: in her as she has just taken on board the
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  Speaker 2: things that we've talked about and discussed, and I've had
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  Speaker 2: some major wins.
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  Speaker 4: Well, I was going to say, you're saying incremental changes,
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  Speaker 4: and they have been. But then a switch was flicked
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  Speaker 4: about a week ago, just something happened and she became
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  Speaker 4: literally we actually were joking around in the house and saying,
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  Speaker 4: we've got a brand new Emily.
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  Speaker 3: Where's the old Emily gone? Where's the new Emily?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, it's been it's been crazy. And so about
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  Speaker 2: a week ago, I was having a conversation with her,
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  Speaker 2: and she said, Mommy, I love you so much. And
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  Speaker 2: I looked at her and I said, do you know
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  Speaker 2: how I know that you love me? She said, because
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  Speaker 2: I told you. And I said, well, that's one way,
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  Speaker 2: I said, but the real way that I know that
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  Speaker 2: you love me is because you show me. And over
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  Speaker 2: the last few days you have actually been showing me
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  Speaker 2: as you've listened to my requests to do the things
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  Speaker 2: that I've asked you to do, that you love me.
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  Speaker 2: And she kind of said, ah, she kind of took
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  Speaker 2: that in. And then the other night, as we were
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  Speaker 2: having a snuggle in bed, I was talking to her
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  Speaker 2: about these changes that I'd noticed in her, and I said,
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  Speaker 2: you know, there's been some really big changes, like so
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  Speaker 2: much so I don't even know where the old Emily's gone.
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  Speaker 2: She's not here anymore. And I said, and I am
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  Speaker 2: loving this new Emily. And Emily said to me, she said,
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  Speaker 2: I know, I know you do, mom, with this big smile.
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  Speaker 2: And I said, do you know what's changed? And she
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  Speaker 2: looked at me as only a little six year old can,
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  Speaker 2: and she said, Mummy, I changed my heart. And I
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  Speaker 2: just was overwhelmed with how much a little six year
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  Speaker 2: old kind of gets it, really gets it. And I
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  Speaker 2: said to her, I said, how did what did you
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  Speaker 2: change in your heart? And she looked at me again
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  Speaker 2: with this en gorgeous little smile, and she said, I
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  Speaker 2: changed everything. And as I sat there in that little
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  Speaker 2: dark space and cuddled up to my six year old,
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  Speaker 2: I was so grateful for her heart and her recognition
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  Speaker 2: that we can change it and it makes all the difference.
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  Speaker 4: I love how kids teach us. I'm so glad you
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  Speaker 4: shared that I'll do better tomorrow. Is well, there's a
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  Speaker 4: reason it's everyone's favorite. And if you're struggling in your
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  Speaker 4: family and things just aren't quite right, maybe that's so
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  Speaker 4: great advice for a six year old. If we can
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  Speaker 4: change our heart, if we can change everything in our heart,
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  Speaker 4: maybe we.
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  Speaker 3: Can just make our families happier. What a great story.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 4: We hope that you've enjoyed the podcast. If you do,
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  Speaker 4: please tell your friends maybe share this episode. All you
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: need to do is click on those three little buttons
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  Speaker 4: in the podcast and click share. You can send it
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  Speaker 4: along to somebody and say, hey, this was awesome. I
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  Speaker 4: hope you can listen to it and love it. We
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  Speaker 4: hope the take home message gets through that we can
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  Speaker 4: change our hearts and that we can have dates with
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  Speaker 4: our kids as well. And maybe you can do what
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  Speaker 4: LB in Germany did and leave us a rating and review.
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  Speaker 4: Those five star ratings and reviews help other people to
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  Speaker 4: find out about the podcast to make their family happier.
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  Speaker 4: As always, we really appreciate Jr. Justin Roland from Bridge
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  Speaker 4: Media for making the podcast sound great. He's our producer
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: and our executive producer is Craig Bruce. If you would
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: like more information about making your family happier, even if
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: it means you sit in sit ups at one another
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: and cry about how happy your family it can be
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: from time to time, please visit happy families.
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  Speaker 3: Dot com dot a. You we've got all the information
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  Speaker 3: you need about our memberships.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: About the books, about all of the various products, and
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: even the free stuff that we do to help you
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: to make your family happier.
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  Speaker 3: Happy families dot com dot au