Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / When You Fall In Love...And He's Not Divorced Yet with Dolores Catania and Paul Connell

Transcript

When You Fall In Love...And He's Not Divorced Yet with Dolores Catania and Paul Connell · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:14
  Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two, and I'm Jennifer Wessler, one
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: of your celebrity mentors from the Real Housewives of New
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Jersey and the podcast to Jersey Jays. Today is going
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: to be so much fun because I'm going to connect
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: with a couple that we have that have both gone
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: through divorce and found love in each other in their
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: chapter two. My guest today, you know because you've seen
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: their love while watching Jersey Housewives. So here we go.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Please welcome my friends Dolores Catana and Paully Connell to
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: the podcast. All right, my loves Hello, Hye, hi you guys.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Hi dog Dog's near? Dogs have dog? Hi baby?
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Part of Part two?
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Also oh right, very true? Right, this is Dogs Part two?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: What was Dogs? Part one?
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: A backyard a junk yard?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Actually better Part two. It's a happy ending and they're
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: in love. They're in love. Listen. I mean, you guys
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: already know this, but this podcast is about second time,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: third time. Well, if you ask my family, fourth time around,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: my parents. But you know we're gonna talk a little
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: bit about your We're gonna call it second time around. Listen,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: you guys met how old were you guys when you met?
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Well, twelve. No, what was I I was fifty and
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: you were, So we're four years.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Apart, four years apart, younger men.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: This is a first for me.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I don't right. But Paul's a man, yeah, honey. You
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: say a lot of things about Paul O'Connell. He is
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: all man. You have no feminine there's nothing feminine about
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Paul O'Connor.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: It palls a man. Yeah, but Christopher because he typically
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: dates twenty eight year olds.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: So let's go there, all right. So a little bit
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: you guys about relationship history.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: That's almost something good, right, the second price that had
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: to be better.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Honey, this is good to our listeners. We want to know.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: We want to know it all the good, the bad,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: the ugly. Okay, So just tell us a little bit,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Polly about I'm just going to touch on it about
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: your relationship history pre Dolores and after. Well, okay, so
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: you and your wife separated, broke up, and did you
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: have what kind of Do you have a lot of
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: relationships between the time that you guys split up, in
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: the time you met Dolores?
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I definitely, you know, met a bunch
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: of different people, you know, sometimes somewhat serious, not so
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: serious because you're finding yourself, right, Yeah, we can't be
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: serious till you find yourself, so by default, you know,
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: you go through these patrons of being with people and
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: then those relationships not working out until you find the
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: right person.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Do you think there was something that a common thread
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: in terms of like the women that you were dating
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: that where it just didn't work out because I don't know,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: they all dot dot dot.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think the biggest common tread was I was
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: immature really yeah, definitely, so I'm matured when I met.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: The right person.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Well, it's also somebody sometimes you morph into the person
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: you you kind of adopt to who you're with. Like
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: if you were with a girl who wanted to go
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: out every night and drinking every night, you're going to
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: stay in that.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I love that. But I'm just thinking, like, also, there
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: is there was something about Dolores from the get go
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: when you first saw her, met her. Tell us a
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: little bit about that, tell us about I think you
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: guys met in the Apple store.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's so. I was a friend of ours,
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: mutual friend that introduced me by text to Dolores, and
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: she's like, my friend, is you know, recently single, and
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: is you know, would you go on a date with her?
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, of course, I'm like, you know, didn't
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: know what you looked like. And I honestly people keep saying, oh,
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: he's followed her. I never knew the Loris from the show.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: People say that you followed me.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: No, because he's better, because your housewife, blah blah blah. Right,
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: so yeah, you followed.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Me, by the way, Wait a second, So Paul, had
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: you ever watched the show?
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: You know, my ex wife used to watch the show.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: I think she she liked Dolors.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone likes Dolores Dolorius.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: I think she you know, I used to look at
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: her and go.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: What watch watching?
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: It was the time Carol Andmonzo threes and Judais was
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: turning over the tables. So I was like in and out,
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: going with the work, you know whatever. It was kids
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: running around and I couldn't understand that. I was like,
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know understand what that is. So yeah, so
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: it was obviously then I got to see a photograph
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: of Dolors and not you know, of course, I'm like, yes,
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: I would absolutely go on a date with this person.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: And then we yeah, it's just it's a small, silly story. Ball.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: I went to Apple store because my phone was broken.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: We were texting at this time because there was like
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: a message about is all going for like a double
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: date to meet everybody? And I don't do that. I'm
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: not going on a double date.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: My girl, here's my nmer.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Dates.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: No, no, man up baby mana.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: She goes, here's my number, this is my pass cade.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: I know she's She goes, here's my number if you
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: want to like reach out. So we start talking to
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: say to where my phone has broke? I have to
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: go to the Apple store. Jen, I'm not bullshit. I'm
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: sitting in the Apple Store at a mask on the map.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: I couldn't. I wish the mask could just uncover my
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: whole existence. In walks this chick with hair HiT's everywhere.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: It was like everybody in the store twants around looking
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: at her, and I can hear the bracelet jingle and
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: I'm like, please don't tell me that's Dolores.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Can get the hell out of here.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: She walks literally, she loss right off to me and
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: she goes, hey, such a crowd.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Side get that hell, Hold on, hold on, hold on,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: back this up. Hold on. You saw her coming and
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: you thought, let that not be Dolores my pants. Oh,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: because she was because you were sitting there field because
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: she was so gorgeous. You're saying, you like were flustered.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: She was a billboard for Lula Lemons.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: They were like, I was like the body, flop box,
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: the body, the legs, like there was a I mean,
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: there was just so much going on in a moment,
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, sweat was dripping down the The guy
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: was like, can I help you, sir, And I'm like, yeah,
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: where's the exit I need?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: So this is for a different podcast, but I'm just
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: going to say, and Dolorus, you've heard me say this before,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: that's the best way for my opinion, for couples to
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: start out. I like when the man just loses his
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I know that, so so yeah, I do too.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: It disarmed me completely, and you know, I think kind
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: of as well for her because she was like, you know,
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: well obviously she premeditated, because you know, I was there,
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: but I didn't. But when she came in, it was
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: from that point forward, it.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Was just everybody feels that way. Dolores has walks in
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: a room and I don't know the air gets everybody stands. Yeah,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Sucked down the room? Is that the expression? Wait,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: don't a little bit? Tell me a little bit about
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: why you think the other relationships didn't work out, and
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: and here you are with Polly because again.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Not the right person, just not not a lot of
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: you know, at the end of the day, you both
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: have to want the same thing, and that's what keeps
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: it going. Not it's not always easy. But if you're
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: with the person that has the same intentions as you,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: there's something to work through an argument, there's something to
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: work through a fight, there's you know, it's worth staying around.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: What are the what do you guys think your common
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: intentions are a little bit?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Well, we both were dating with a purpose.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: What's your comment for a relationship?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean long doing permanent longevity.
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, it's like it's it's you know, I know
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: there's a lot of criticism about put a ring on
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: it and all this kind of stuff in marriage, and
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: we're getting a little bit for our ahead now, but
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: you know that's our goal is that, regardless to the piece.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: Of paper and regardless to the piece of jewelry, our
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: goal is to that obviously empty them. Things are all coming.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, yeah, you got a lot of crap
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: about being married when you guys were first together. I
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: know you're divorced now, and it's funny. I had my
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: own opinions on it, like we're not babies anymore. And
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: for me watching Dolores, like who gives a sh Like
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I knew you were going to get divorced.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: The people jen are buying married men that are saying
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: I'm still married, Like, give me a amen?
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: I know, amen, brother, they so please girls sell down?
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, no I felt like that too. I mean,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: dol did you have any trepidation just being with a
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: man who was still married? I asked these questions, you guys,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I know that a lot of there are a lot
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: of ugers are going to listen to the podcast, but
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: a lot who who haven't watched.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Anybody should Yeah I did. But he had told me
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: that his divorce was going to be sooner than it was.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: But as time went on, you know, time goes very fast.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I wasn't I wasn't keeping tabs. I was never going
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: to force his hand on it. Eventually, yeah, I was smart.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: I Eventually I would have made a stand on it,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: but it wasn't any time soon. I mean it was
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: like three years. Yeah, but you know, of course that's
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: not the ideal situation. But at our age, you're going
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: to come across things that are going to be around listen.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: And I agree one hundred percent, like I was when
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Jeff and I were separated, we both had partners, other partners,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: we were married, and we still had significant others in
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: our life, right, and so we were separated at the
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: time with the intention of getting divorced, and I didn't
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: have any I didn't feel any guilt about that. It
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: just you know, it was in my mind. Obviously things
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: did not work out that way, thank god, But in
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: my mind we were separated. We were two separate, single people.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: So I don't know, and I don't I never sort
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: of ran into an instance where even when I was
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: first dating, anybody really gave a ship like as long
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: as you're separated and not living in the same house,
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: I think credit to Delores is that credits of credit
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: credits of dolorous. He took a lot of sh on
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: the chin because there was no reason for it, and
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: people will always look for a reason to like, you know,
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: put the attention on it. I didn't look at it
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: as that critical because of it. To me, it's ending
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: of you know, it's dissolving some paperwork, and the relationship
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: was already over. We've already moved on. We're all in
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: different parts of our life. So to me, it was
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: like the final frontier. By the end of it, Jen,
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: it was bothering me so much, like to the point
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: of that I was very you know, upset to see
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: that people would say this to the doors or come
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: after it that way because now I felt responsible, which
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: I should be, because I should have you know, I
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: should have cleared that up beforehand. But I wasn't at
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: a position in my life where it was that top priority.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: And when I when I, when me and Dolores became
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: that that item that became a priority. It just it
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: took some distincts to take time. And I don't care
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: if it take someone says it should really take one
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: year or two years. I don't care. It took what
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: it took, and that's what it took.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: Well, it's not just you, you know, trying to work
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: it through. There's someone else in this scenario. Okay, So
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: fafter you guys out of it. But from what you've
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: been through to our listeners who might be dating someone
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: who's separated, do you think there's any absolutes like cut
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: it off if if this person doesn't seem to want
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: to get divorced. Is there any red flags in terms
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: of dating somebody who's not fully divorced.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: If someone has no intention of getting divorced, do not
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: stay with that person in a serious relationship because at
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: the end of the day, this was my problem. I
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: had met his ex, I liked his ex. It's not
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: like this was like a real marriage. But technically, legally,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: if something happened to Paul, I would be calling his
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: ex to get my stuff out of the house like
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: that was my biggest problem. And or God forbid, something
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: happened to Paul and there needed to be a life
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: or death decision, I wouldn't be able to had made
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: it because I wasn't his wife. Yet I'm giving him
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: my life every day, my family, my job. I'm sharing
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: my time, my youth, whatever's left of my my ab
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: with him. And at the end of the day, the
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: important important things you are not a part of. Because
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I've been in the hospital with my mom one time,
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: and the person in the next room choked on a
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: hamburger and his girlfriend he had never gotten formally divorced,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: legally divorced, and his girlfriend was thrown out of the
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: room and his ex that he had been separated with
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: for so long came in and took over. So always
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: weighed heavy on me. And that's why I say not
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: to let that drag out too long. If you're in
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: a serious relationship with someone, that has to be done.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I knew Paul was legally working on it because I
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: was here for the conversations. I was here for the
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: phone calls with the attorney. At one point, his attorney
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: got sick and had a heart attack, and that pushed
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: it off. So none of this was Paul's fault.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: This was what was my fault initially. For getting back
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: to your question, is if you're out, you shall be out?
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And he drives his feet long.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: My advice is I wish I hadn't done it sooner,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: not because of anything to do with my ex, but
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: because of the situation in my life. And really, if
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: you're out, get out, put the paper, and if you're serious,
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: people meet it up people. And that's the reason they
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: split up and they move on, and that's the direction
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: if you're with somebody. I think the best advice somebody
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: can have if you're with somebody who is still married,
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: as long as you, the person that you're dating, and
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: the person that they are married to are all on
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: the same page and you understand the process and the
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: goal is, Hey, we're getting divorced, this is my new life,
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: blah blah blah. It doesn't always work that way. If
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: that's the scenario, then everybody should be comfortable. Then the
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: nies on the outside shouldn't really matter.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: First of all, that is what you just said is
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: so key, because the truth is when I was separated,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Jeff did not want to get divorced, and the person
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I was with at the time knew that, and so
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: we would go around about that. But I think that's
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: so interesting that Delors, you know, knew that that's where
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: you were both headed. Because Dolorus, being Dolorous, of course,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: became friendly with your ex like only Dolores could in
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: these scenarios. But knowing that you were both that everybody
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: was on the same page, I think that's probably huge, right.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: That's to me, it was a big part even though, Listen,
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: there's some tricky moments to that as well, like it's
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: not a walk in the park, right, how long it's
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: been separated or not, it's still like it's it's the pressure.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: My attorneys get involved.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: There's money involved, and that's always obviously.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: And then as also then there's like you as a person.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: For Dolores, I felt guilty. I felt bad. I felt
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: like this is not going fast enough.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: But I have to ask you, did you feel less
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: bad because I didn't fight with you?
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Would it have been that's a great question.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Would you have done it quicker? Had I put pressure
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: on you?
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: No? Because I went as quick as I could actually go.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: I did not. I didn't go slow because of any reason.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Listen.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, the attorney had a heart attack going to court
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: with the documents.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: That's so crazy.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: I was like, that's a sign, well get better, let's
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: go back at it again because we have to we
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: have to finish this, you know.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Actually her attorney called the hospital, called the ambulance for him.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: It was a very un Yeah.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so what was I going to do? Was getting fussed?
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Well he's health now, he's yeah, he's fine, he's fine.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: But I was I was getting frustrated, but I held
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: my tongue because of a couple of things. Number one
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: is pride, and I feel if I have to ask
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: someone to do the right thing, it's already too late.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: And the other reason is because there's a lot of
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: things to fight over, and I did see that he
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: was moving along with it.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I love all of this, especially for our listeners. I
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: don't pretend to know what to tell people. When I
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: got separated and then back together, I told the story
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: that like the entire neighborhood, all the women, people strangers
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: started calling me to ask how that happened and how
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: I did it. I was like, I don't know how
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I did it. I got lucky. I don't know what
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: to say. But I think that's so what you just said,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: like Dolo about if you have to make it happen,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: you know, if you're pushing through, maybe maybe that's key,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: right like for those of us, for listeners who are
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: maybe in relationships after having been divorced or one is
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: still married to not if you're pushing, pushing, get divorced,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: get divorced, get divorced, maybe that is a red flag if.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: You're with somebody.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: But also Paul, some people do need a fire lid
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: under their ass. Like, I don't blame anyone for pushing
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: that issue.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Depends on the relationship that you're coming from, the marriage
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: you're coming from. It's so it can be manipulation on
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: different side.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: It is really, honestly so different for each couple and
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: each person. You just have to read the room. You
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: have to read. Paul wasn't shady about anything. You know
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: the guys shady at our Age Part two, Right, you're
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: being shady and if you don't, then you're in trouble
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: being out in this world not knowing. And listen to
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: your friends, Listen to your mom. My mom wasn't happy
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: to get divorced. I had friends saying he'll never get divorced.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: We had very close friends. Actually, oh, he'll never get divorced.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: He'll never marry her. I taken that in fault with
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: him about it. But there's no way I let other
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: people's opinions define my decisions in life.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Ever, Can I say something right? People say he will
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: never marry her. I don't think that's a reflect that's
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: about reflection on thelor. It's not me, I know. I
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: don't think there you know if somebody says that, why
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: would you? Why would you? What makes you believe that
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: this is probably the best woman in the world to
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: be with. She's supportive, she'll do anything for you, she
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: does everything for everybody. She doesn't want anything back. Right, So,
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: as as perspective, that person who's writing that or who's
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: saying that about work.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: It's insulting. It's insulting, dolorous.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: You were stuck and you called she would so count
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: thought of it. Sometimes I'm like, uh, there there is.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: That's why you don't listen to people, Paul, I don't
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: listen closer. Were you affected sometimes by opinions that you
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: read and think people that called you and got you
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: worked up about things? Were you affected? I can't say
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: to you to be the way I am. I don't
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: expect that from you.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: The truth is the effect being effective is how it
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: affects you, not me. To me, I don't care about
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: reality lifestyle. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: came into this and a person that's already accomplished. I've
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: done my thing and I'm going to keep on doing it. Yeah,
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: this is her position in life, and I'm going to
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: support that yeah or not care less, I don't really care.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: No, I get that, I love that, I get that.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: It it is like insulting, like who wouldn't feel like
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: they stepped in a golden pile of shit if they
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: get Dolores right? So like, of course you want to end.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Who wouldn't I love that you said that?
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: What I want to say to couples listening Part two,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Second time Around? There is by now a lot of
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: people in your life that have a lot of opinions
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: about how you live your life. Because there's times you've
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: reached out when you're single and you don't have that person,
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: so you reach out to your friends, you reach out
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: to your family, and then that gives them the right
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: to weigh in on the decisions you make in your
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: life because you've gone to them. So I want people
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: to also understand although people you can allow them because
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: they've been there for you to have their opinion, you
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: don't have to listen to them because the real people
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: will be there in the end. You should hear them.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: You should hear them, but they're not always right.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Listen, and especially if you're on your second time around
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: or your third, you know stuff now that you didn't
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: know when you were young and dumb, and you do
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: things right at our age. After you've had this life
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: experience and you've been through the pain of going through
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: breakup or breakups right, you are wiser than ever and
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: know it's better for you than anyone else does, at
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: least right. Because I had people say to me, don't
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: get back together. You haven't really tried yet. You haven't
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: put yourself out there. And I'm talking about people that
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: were my closer who loved me said it to me
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: out of love. But Jen, why would you do this
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: yet even if it didn't work out with this first guy,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: you haven't given yourself a chance and saying it to
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: me out of again out of love and care. But
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I had to trust myself and I had I knew
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: what was right for me. I might not have if
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I was twenty five going into my first marriage.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: You may have been wrong too, and.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: That would have been okay.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: So if somebody who's been married for twenty five thirty
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: years is telling you, oh, maybe you should do some more, No,
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: you aren't really out there.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: It's them, yeah, right, but they want to live through
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: your eyes because they know that they're miserable at the end.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, have like, why aren't you having a good old time? Right?
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: But right's heart?
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Being single it's really hard, being agreed, being single as
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: a woman, it's hard being single as a man. It's
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: hard starting over, it's.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: All of it is a bitch, It's true.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Honestly, I could say it is being single or being
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: with the right person. There's no comparison being single having
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: the fun. I get it. It's great you go around.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: I bet you did day man.
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: To do.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: What's well?
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the companion, having that person that's.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Your everything, right, nothing better than that? I agree with you.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Well, so let's just get into for a minute to
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: the kids of it all. So uh different second time
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: around for you both, obviously because you have these these children,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: these adult children in Dolores's world, and different for you, Paul.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: So how was that? Right? So was that difficult to navigate?
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Because I know I know now that the children, no
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: big shock here, love the Dolores's kids love you, Paul,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: and Paul's kids love you, Dolo. But was that ever hard?
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Was that ever tricky? Was it hard because Doloreses were
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: older or because years were younger?
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: No?
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: It it was meant to be it's organic.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Kids never had an issue. Huh.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: My kids love my Brooklyn and Cameron love Frankie, Gabby
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: and vice versa. It's so it's so rewarding to see
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: how well they get on and the way they like,
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: like they talk to each other and they push each
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: other open. It's so organic. But the thing about it is,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: you square to have a really long term relationship. You
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: wouldn't think it's just like new like our relationship. They
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: look and there's in the same circle of like understanding
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: what they want in life.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: So it's so cool.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: How long did you guys wait to introduce each other
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: to your kids?
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Actually?
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, so you know, I mean that's I guess
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: what do you suggest wait to me introduce somebody or so?
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: I lived in the premise that keep everything away from
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: your kids, don't let them know we're still married. I
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: was still married the kid. My kids never knew me
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: to date anybody.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I never You never introduced any other up any of
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: the other women you were dating.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: You can't get someone out a diner like casual. There
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: was no like hey, dad's friends coming over, right, none
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: of that. That was a mistake.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Interesting.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: I do believe I tried to protect my children. But
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: they know they're not stupid? You know me now, like
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: some of the comments they made me like that seriously
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: think like come on that. But I think if you
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: tried to protect your children that actually I understand it,
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: but I don't think.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: It really well. Like, would you suggest to listeners that
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: they should wait until they like obviously you guys knew
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: pretty quickly that it was going to get furious and
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: that you guys had something but other people that you date,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: would you suggest to our listeners to wait if they
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: are I mean, is it just so individual? Is it depending.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Upon don't forget we we'd probably been with different people, right,
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: So so the laws have been with other people for
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: a long relationships. I have been with other people, just
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: not met my kids. I chose not to do that
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: for the reason was because I taught the benefit was
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: not my children would be less damaged as you would, right.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: I guess there's.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: There's so much guilt.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there is so much guilt.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: Something actually to add that. I think by doing that
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: penalized me to not force the divorce. Interesting, because you
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: know you're living this everything's cool, this family's lives, you.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Know, living two lives.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: I don't want to say I was living two lives
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: because I think that's a lot of tax in your brain.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: But I think I was living a lot.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: But living interesting.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of people culturally that's say,
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Irish people don't get divorced most a lot of Irish
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: people don't even get married. They just live together forever. Right, Well, listen, you.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: Know you were brought up in a way to believe
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: that no matter what, you make them work.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Well, you feel like it's like you just you just
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: kind of compartmentalize this is right, what's going on here?
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: This is going on here? They're separate and.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: Ireland is like this size and you break up. They
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: all talk about it.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: It's like it's like you think Irish people like are
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: very like concerned about what other people say. It's like
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: a small European I.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: Think everybody's concerned about what everybody says.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Ireland what about so speaking of other people as well,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: And again, I know a lot of listeners watch the show.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: But in terms of meeting the X and Paul for
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: you with Frank the first time was that difficult? I mean,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: I I know a little bit myself, but tell us
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: the listeners that don't.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Know, family meeting.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: And it was about builds.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: The kids were leaving the lights.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: The light song, it was garbage whatever. So I walked
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: into a and found me feud get out, but I
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: was invited.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: To get out.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: You know, we still like, even though we're divorced, we
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: still parent together and we still are on the same page.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: He'll call me I could brack me up on this.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: I'm like, it's like a you know, yeah, a lot
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: to understand.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Listen. I mean, you have such a unique situation with
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Frank Delores, and it's been obviously the topic of many
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: discussions and on the show and off the show. So
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: but do you think that that was easier for you,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: Polly than because they got along so well at the beginning.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: Was that more difficult?
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: I guess? I guess. So again, I didn't watch the show.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know who
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Frank was to me. It was just another guy in
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: the gym pumping iron right to me. So when I
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: met him, I had to understand that he was for
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: X right. I think people like troll comments on me
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: and you know this, this this world is great insane.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: People like to tell you those friends either way, close
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: friends did not want to see us all get along,
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: close friends waiting on both sides behind. You know, I
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: would never have allowed that they didn't win.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: So they didn't win.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: I know that, Paul, But like people are like bro,
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: you're putting up with Bro.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: So anyways, so it wasn't that it was hard. It
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: was just very unusual. And I really and I and
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: I and I know I came off. I think it
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: was like the first time I filmed, and it was
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: like Frank needs to you know, maybe Frank needs to
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: rethink the situation, right, because I really didn't understand it.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: But I'm not the only person that didn't understand it.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: There's a whole audience that didn't understand this.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: You're also you also get to be the person that's
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: in love with Dolores and trying so even more so
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: than the audience. You're trying to reconcile the fact that
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: that it's a different thing than usual.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: But the weird thing is Paul works with his ex,
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: they get along, They've gone to family weddings together over
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: all these years. I don't see a big different interesting.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: So the team was and the big thing was I
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: think Frank seeing Dolorus in a different light from her
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: pastor maybe relationships, right, and he may be seeing a
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: different trend in Dolorous, right. And I think maybe Frank's
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: and alpha male, right, And I'm kind of one of
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: the guys as well to be like, hey, listen, this
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: is you know, I'm here now, see you later. Brow
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: We're good right, right, You don't need to go and
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: stick it on my head and drink and cotails. Right,
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: We're good, right, but we can hang out. So I
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: think Frank was having a hard time knowing that the
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: dynamic of his relationship with Dolorus may change, but not
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: in a bad way, just in the normality of like,
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: you know, what's happening. And I think at that point
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: maybe we were feeding off each other and it kind
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: of got like a little bit like different because you know,
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: but at the end of the day, we're we're we're.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Okay. So how about this kind of hot spot Right now,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: we're hearing a lot about pre nups, So I want
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: to know your thoughts on pre nups. I can just
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: let me just start out. I'll share my own thoughts.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: If Jeff and I were divorced and I was getting
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: married again. I would absolutely have a prenup, but also
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I don't even know if i'd want to get married again.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: So that's whatever. Who cares, that's me. But how do
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: you guys feel?
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: Honestly, we haven't even spoke about a prenup only because
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's not even a People say it's a
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: real conversation. Well it's really not. I mean, you you
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: go into something with that mindset, you're already you're in
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: a different place. I'm not thinking like that, are you like?
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: And I'm not saying and I'm watching what's going on
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: in the world and all these things that are happening.
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying they're not good for you and they
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: don't protect you.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: But you know, we're not there.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: It's not Yeah, I mean, the biggest thing that we
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: have to figure out is you know, where we go
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: to vacationally.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: That's you know, we're not we like that right now
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: that I'm good.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: I've did it as partially because I mean, you both
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: are coming to the table very independently. You know, nobody,
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: You don't need one of you needs the other financially.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: At least that's that's what I know. So maybe that's also,
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: you think that makes a difference when I.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: Met the Laws. I'm gonna say this because I wanted
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: to be on record because this is what happen when
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: I met the Laurus. Another thing, why Frank did a
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: lot of stuff for her and I wanted her to
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: be independent of that, not because I didn't want Frank
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: doing it, because she's able to own that herself. And
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: I feel not a woman that's independent, it gets more
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: confident with in herself to be able to, like, you know,
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: just be in a moment.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: A woman should handle their own finances. Every woman should
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: handle their things that they own. They need to understand it,
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: they really do, because God knows what it meant.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: I think that is so key. I love that you're
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: saying that out loud. I think that is so important.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: And I can tell you, yes, I could tell you.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Before Jeff and I got separated, he put a paper
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: in front of me and said, sign I signed. Not
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: that I don't and I trust Jeff implicitly, but I'm
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: an adult and I need to know factor out everything else.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: It's my responsibility to know what I'm doing, what I'm signing,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: what my finances are.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: One hundred percent and I'm a right to know and
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: it's not wrong.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: To ask, right, I think you know what and I'll
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: just I'll just say, Dolores, he said to me many times,
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: how much you like, Paul really supported you being independent
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: and financially responsible, and which I think is so great,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: you know, like that he wants that for you. And
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: I think it's easy for women to give up that power,
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: and it's dangerous, regardless of prenups or anything else, you know.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: Very fous, because it also puts them on the on
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: the back. Yet, right, so spurt the moment deal or
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: anything scenario comes up, she's well capable of handling that situation.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: More than not that she couldn't, but now she's more
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: reassured that.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: And also, God forbid something happens, you know, if a
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: million years from now somebody's partner passes away or my
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: part like, I need to know what happens next.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: You can only depend on yourself, amen. That is yeah,
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: it's not that you're me, but no, listen, I'm.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: All for it.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, listen, you guys are so on the same page
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: with so much. What do you think it is? If
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: you were just to name a couple of things. The
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: reason that your relationship works so well, like you're gonna
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: pinpoint it's this really stands out.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: There's a there's a lot of compromise. I feel like
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: in every relationship, compromise is so important because if it's
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: just one person always bending over backwards, bending over it,
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: there's always one person that does it more than the other.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: But it has to be both give and take on both.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: It really does.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Like what do you think, Like give us an example,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: like Dolo, tell us something that you feel like you
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: guys have compromised on.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: The thermostat that's true?
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: Is it true? The lords because you're always complaining you're
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: too hot, you pour, and I'm like, it is. Jeff
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: and I fight. That's like one of the main we
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: can go to war over that. I can't take it.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: It's war. It's war.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I don't compromise well on that.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: It's day to day, you know, even on on the
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: things that we like to eat. There was compromise on
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: sometimes how we spent the holidays or you know, just listen, everything.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: Is a compromise because it's new right.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: He hates Italian food, but I want to eat it sometimes.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: So all these eight five nights a week and then
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: when I finally say I want Italian food, he has
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: to go and eat with me. I don't want to eat.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Who hates Italian food? What does that even means? There
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: is no pasta?
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: Is scrup it out? I eat it. I look at
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: her and I'm going to go.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I can't. Are you serious? But no.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: But even if there were different things in our relationships
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: or our lives when we came into it that wasn't
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: ideal for us, so that we didn't love. There's certain
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: things I had to put up with, and then he would,
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: you know, he would say, Okay, well you did that,
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: so let me come and do this. Then I don't
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: want to it, you have to do it.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: I believe the biggest thing is letting it go straight away.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Oh that's yeah.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: So we so something comes up, and it could be anything,
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: and it could be absolutely anything. You have that moment.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: I love that because I'm stubborn and I have learned
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: to be less stubborn. It's just so much easier if
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: you can let it go. But do you think in
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: terms of the hurdles that you've had, Well, I have
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: two questions. First, was the show a big hurdle for you? Paul?
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: And also just outside of the show, what would you
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: say was one of the major hurdles for both of you.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: I think for me the show was because I didn't
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: know what I was getting involved in because I never telt,
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: never taught it true because I was just for so
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: I was just like, oh, I'm just with doors having fun,
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: and then it becomes reality. You're on a TV right,
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: and you see all these things that come out and
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: you listen to all the nyes.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: So did it was a problem for us?
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: It did play an effect because I think that emphasized
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: with the whole Frank situation. So now does it you know?
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: Then I've got these guys friends of mine, people I
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: don't even know. Oh my god, how could you let
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: this guy be in her life? So disrespectful because they
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: don't know what this scenario right, So it's like anything man, you.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Plan imagine talking to somebody like that who's happy going
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: about their business and then you got.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: To call Well, it's it's it's about learning, right, so
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: you have to learn the process. So the show was
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: a big learning curve to me. Now, water off my
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: back now.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: But when it wasn't it wasn't easy. Well, it wasn't
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: easy to we piled through that.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: Listen, the show is and I've only been a friend
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: of for two years. It's all encompassing. It changes, it
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: definitely changes everything.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: The biggest part of that, as well as letting go
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: at the start, I couldn't figure out how to let
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: it go. And then as you realize, wait, this is
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: this is just the show, this is then you start.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: Then you go, Okay, actually, you know what, I think
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: the show helped has become much better couple.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Really wow, what do you think?
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: And then I'll yeah, I mean again on the outside,
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: I mean, everywhere I go, people come up to me like,
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: you know, we love the Lors, we love the low
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, Like I FaceTime all the time of
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: people coming over to me everywhere. I'm not gonna say yeah, no,
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: it's pretty cool. And I do like it.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah it is, I mean very good.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I like it too. I like to know that. I
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: want people to know that Dolores and I are are
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: not only friends, but such close friends. I'm very proud
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: of that.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: We're very close friends.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Tell me about you, Doris, what do is you You
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: think one of your biggest hurdles was.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: Well in the relationship. Paul was very temperamental in the
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: beginning of filming regarding like what would people think what
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: they said? I felt like he was definitely influenced by
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: something he read, saying one comment, there'll be twenty five
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: good comments in one bad comment. He would harp on.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: So my biggest hurdle was patience for that. Yeah, it
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: really was. That was my biggest hurdle.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: You were teaching me, you were also advising me not
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: to fall in.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: But the fact on the other side of it, sometimes
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: I didn't think that you would.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: I will tell you Jan, people very close were we're
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: the worst of the comments done people far away I am.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: I am very sad. I know that to be true,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: and it makes me sad and confused. Really, it's depressing
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: a little bit.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: Let's just it just goes to show you how money
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: people are really unhappy for.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: Someone else's happiness.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: So when you see people happy, they tried to make
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: it an unhappy situation. And that's the part about the
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: second part of being I DO. When you've been trudish,
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: that kind of stuff doesn't really affect you because during
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: the second problem and the.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Second part of I DO is the insecurity of the exes, right,
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: they're the least threat in the room. Yeah, they're talked
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: about it old news. Keep your eye on the new
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: people around, not the exes.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: I hate to say it, but I actually think that's
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: good advice.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: That's so.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: No them better than you get to know the ax
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: that no one knows the expect What does that mean?
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: Snoopy?
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Snoopy's do you know what that means?
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: What does that mean?
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: I'm picturing Charlie Brown, me too. Know that people tell
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: me something, guys and then I'm going to let you go.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: But and I'm sorry to ask the question because you
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: just get asked all the time, but I know that
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: listeners want to know. So you think you're going to
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: get probably hitched sometime soon? Do you have a time frame?
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: I mean, i'd say we have to get engaged for us, right, Yep.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: I have to ask because I know what people want
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: to know. And I've heard you ask so many times.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: It's not like you know I'm mad.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: And I watched what hap inside these so that I said,
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: he goes, what's your goal? I said, getting married isn't
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: the goal? Peace in harmony is the goal. And I
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: could tell you we've never been so good. No, we really,
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to go with it.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: I any time, there's no backing out. Now. I look
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: at you guys, and I can't imagine one without the other.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: But there's always like the Goldie Hawn and kur Russell
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: of it, you know. I mean, look how long they've lasted.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: People do believe in that, you know, not needing to
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: actually sign a paper.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: We're good and we're going to get better.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: That's all right, Yeah, I mean what I love to say,
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Paul's my husband. I slipped yesterday and I said that,
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: who was I talking to? I said, my husband. I'm like, oh, oh,
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: I mean my boyfriend.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: You know I say that. I say that sometimes to
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: Paul I'll be like, yeah, I spoke to your wife,
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: and maybe even to you, Dolores. It's just like for me,
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: it just makes sense. Yeah. I just couldn't love either
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: one of you any more than I do.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: And it's a nice idle to have. But I wish
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: anybody the second time around all the best. It's so hard.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: Be careful who you winds up with. Don't make decisions
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: at a vulnerable time. Going through divorce is very vulnerable,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: very scary. Being single is very scary, very vulnerable. Take off,
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: you know, look at the red flags. Take off the
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: rose colored glasses.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Learn from your mistakes, learn from your age and your experiences.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: Oh me, don't afraid of being somewhat private with some
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: of yourself boundaries.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: That's interesting, you know, I want to impart sure you
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: feel like this too. Frankie just got engaged and I
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: know how much you love your soon to be new
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: daughter in law. And I find myself with my kids
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: wanting to control who they're dating, seeing things that I
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: know that they don't see because they're too young to
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: see it. I have to give that up. That's what
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: therapy is for. I give up that control. Who knows.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know everything. You know. I have to trust
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: that they're going to pick partners because it's so important
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: that will, you know, enrich their lives and make them
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: happy and peaceful and feel good about themselves. Doesn't always
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: work though, as we all know the first time around.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: But I want them to know what I know, and
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: they just won't and they don't. I wish I did.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: I wish that I could go back and you know,
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: they can know what I know now right.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: They need to hear it. Yeah, don't stop saying yeah,
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: well John you once you say it twice and it's
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: in their head. And when those times happen where they're like,
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: does this seem right? And then they hear your voice,
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: little voice in your head.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: That's great. I love I love that because they both
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: get really really pissed at me. They want me out
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: of their business when it comes to their love life.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: Say it and drop it, drop it.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Yep, thank you, both of you. I love you so much.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: All right, bye you guys. So, are you in the
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: midst of a divorce or feeling stuck on what to
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: do when it comes to your love life, Call us
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: or email us or follow us on social All of
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: the information will be in the show notes. Make sure
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: to rate and review the podcast. I do Part two
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: at iHeartRadio Podcasts, where falling in love is the main objective.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: T