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067 - Book Ten Chapter Four · Brothers Karamazov

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Speaker 1: Chapter sixty seven of The Brother's Karamtzer by Fyodor Dostoyevsky,
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Speaker 1: translated by Constance Garnet. This libribox recording is in the
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Speaker 1: public domain recording by Tony Addison, Chapter four, The Lost Dog.
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Speaker 1: Collier leaned against the fence with an air of dignity,
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Speaker 1: waiting for Alyosha to appear. Yes, he had long wanted
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Speaker 1: to meet him. He had heard a great deal about
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Speaker 1: him from the boys. But hitherto he had always maintained
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Speaker 1: an appearance of disdainful indifference when he was mentioned, and
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Speaker 1: he had even criticized what he heard about Alyosha. But
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Speaker 1: secretly he had a great longing to make his acquaintance.
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Speaker 1: There was something sympathetic and attractive in all he was
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Speaker 1: told about Alyosha. So the present moment was important to
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Speaker 1: begin with. He had to show himself at his best,
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Speaker 1: to show his independence, or he'll think of me as
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Speaker 1: thirteen and take me for a boy like the rest
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Speaker 1: of them. And what are these boys to him? I
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Speaker 1: shall ask him when I get to know him. It's
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Speaker 1: a pity I am so short, though too, Sekov is
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Speaker 1: younger than I am, yet he is half a head taller.
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Speaker 1: But I have a clever face. I am not good looking.
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Speaker 1: I know I'm hideous, but I've a clever face. I
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Speaker 1: mustn't talk too freely. If I fall into his arms
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Speaker 1: all at once, he may think out how horrible if
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Speaker 1: he should think. Such were the thoughts that excited Collier
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Speaker 1: while he was doing his utmost to assume the most
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Speaker 1: independent air. What distressed in most was his being so short.
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Speaker 1: He did not mind so much his hideous face as
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Speaker 1: being so short. On the wall in a corner at home,
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Speaker 1: he had the year before made a pencil mark to
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Speaker 1: show his height, and every two months since he anxiously
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Speaker 1: measured himself against it to see how much he had gained.
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Speaker 1: But alas he grew very slowly, and this sometimes reduced
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Speaker 1: him almost to despair. His face was in reality, by
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Speaker 1: no means hideous. On the contrary, it was rather attractive,
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Speaker 1: with a fair, pale skin, freckled. His small, lively gray
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Speaker 1: eyes had a fearless look and often glowed with feeling.
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Speaker 1: He had rather high cheek bones, small very red, but
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Speaker 1: not very thick lips. His nose was small and unmistakably
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Speaker 1: turned up either a regular pug nose a regular pug
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Speaker 1: nose Colier used to mutter to himself when he looked
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Speaker 1: in the looking glass, and he always left it with indignation.
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Speaker 1: But perhaps I haven't got a clever face. He sometimes
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Speaker 1: thought doubtful even of that. But it must not be
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Speaker 1: supposed that his mind was preoccupied with his face and
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Speaker 1: his hut. On the contrary, however, bitter the moments before
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Speaker 1: the looking glass were to him, he quickly forgot them,
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Speaker 1: and forgot them for a long time, abandoning himself entirely
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Speaker 1: to ideas and to real life as he formulated it
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Speaker 1: to himself. Alyosha came out quickly and hastened up to Colya.
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Speaker 1: Before he reached him, Colia could see that he looked delighted.
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Speaker 1: Can he be so glad to see me? Colia wondered,
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Speaker 1: feeling pleased. We may note here in passing that Alyosha's
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Speaker 1: appearance had undergone a complete change since we saw him last.
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Speaker 1: He had abandoned his cassock and was wearing now a
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Speaker 1: well cut coat, a soft round hat, and his hair
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Speaker 1: had been cropped short. All this was very becoming to him,
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Speaker 1: and he looked quite handsome. His charming face always had
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Speaker 1: a good humored expression, But there was a gentleness and
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Speaker 1: serenity in his good humor. To Colyer's surprise, Alyosha came
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Speaker 1: out to him just as he was, without an overcoat.
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Speaker 1: He had evidently come in haste. He held out his
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Speaker 1: hand to Colyer at once. Here you are at last.
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Speaker 1: How anxious we've been to see ye. There were reasons,
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Speaker 1: which you shall know directly. Anyway, I am glad to
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Speaker 1: make your acquaintance. I've long been hoping for an opportunity
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Speaker 1: and have heard a great deal about you. Colier muttered,
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Speaker 1: a little breathless. We should have met anyway. I've heard
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Speaker 1: a great deal about you too, but you've been a
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Speaker 1: long time coming. Here. Tell me how are things going.
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Speaker 1: Ilusha is very ill, he is certainly dying. How awful
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Speaker 1: you must admit that medicine is a fraud, Karamatzov cried
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Speaker 1: coolio warmly. Ilusha has mentioned you often, very often, even
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Speaker 1: in his sleep in delirium. You know, one can see
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Speaker 1: that you used to be very, very dear to him
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Speaker 1: before the incident with the knife. Then there's another reason.
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Speaker 1: Tell me, is that your dog, yes Paratzvan not Tzuchika.
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Speaker 1: Aloisha looked at Colia with eyes full of pity is
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Speaker 1: she lost forever. I know you would all like it
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Speaker 1: to be Zuchika. I've heard all about it, Colia smiled mysteriously. Listen, Karamatzov,
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Speaker 1: I'll tell you all about it. That's what I came for.
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Speaker 1: That's what I asked you to come out here for,
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Speaker 1: to explain the whole episode to you before we go in.
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Speaker 1: He began with animation. You see, Karamatzov, Ilusha came into
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Speaker 1: the preparatory class last spring. Well, you know what our
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Speaker 1: preparatory hears a lot of small boys. They began teasing
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Speaker 1: Ilusha at once. I am two classes higher up, and
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Speaker 1: of course I only look on at them from a distance.
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Speaker 1: I saw the boy was weak and small, but he
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Speaker 1: wouldn't give in to them. He fought with them. I
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Speaker 1: saw he was proud and his eyes were full of fire.
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Speaker 1: I liked children like that, and they teased him all
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Speaker 1: the more. The worst of it was he was horribly
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Speaker 1: dressed at the time. His breeches were too small for him,
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Speaker 1: and there were holes in his boots. They worried him
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Speaker 1: about it. They jeered at him that I can't stand.
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Speaker 1: I stood up by him at once and gave it
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Speaker 1: to them hot I'd beat them, but they adore me.
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Speaker 1: Do you know, Karamatzov, Colier boasted impulsively, But I am
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Speaker 1: always fond of children. At two chickens in my hands
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Speaker 1: at home. Now, that's what detained me to day. So
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Speaker 1: they leapt off beating Ilusha, and I took him under
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Speaker 1: my protection. I saw the boy was proud. I tell
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Speaker 1: you that the boy was proud. But in the end
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Speaker 1: he became slavishly devoted to me. He did my slightest bidding,
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Speaker 1: obeyed me as though I were God, tried to copy
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Speaker 1: me in the intervals between the classes. He used to
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Speaker 1: run to me at once, and I'd go about with
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Speaker 1: him on Sundays too. They always laugh when an older
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Speaker 1: boy makes friends with a younger one like that, But
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Speaker 1: that's a prejudice. If it's my fancy, that's enough. I
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Speaker 1: am teaching him, developing him. Why shouldn't I develop him
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Speaker 1: if I like him? Here, you, Karamatzov, have taken up
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Speaker 1: with all these nestlings. I see you want to influence
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Speaker 1: the younger generation, to develop them, to be of use
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Speaker 1: to them. And I assure you this trait in your character,
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Speaker 1: which I know by hearsay, attracted me more than anything.
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Speaker 1: Let us get to the point. Though. I noticed that
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Speaker 1: there was a sort of softness and sentimentality coming over
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Speaker 1: the boy. And you know, I have a positive hatred
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Speaker 1: of this sheepish sentimentality, and I have had it from
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Speaker 1: a baby. There were contradictions in him too. He was proud,
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Speaker 1: but he was slavishly devoted to me. And yet all
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Speaker 1: that once his eyes would flash and he'd refuse to
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Speaker 1: agree with me, he'd argue, fly into a rage. I
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Speaker 1: used sometimes to propound certain ideas. I could see that
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Speaker 1: it was not so much that he disagreed with the ideas,
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Speaker 1: but that he was simply rubling against me because I
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Speaker 1: was cool in responding to his endearments. And so, in
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Speaker 1: order to train him properly, the tenderer, he was, the
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Speaker 1: colder I became. I did it on purpose, That was
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Speaker 1: my idea. My object was to form his character, to
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Speaker 1: lick him into shape, to make a man of him.
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Speaker 1: And besides, no doubt, you understand me at a word.
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Speaker 1: Suddenly I noticed, for three days in succession, he was
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Speaker 1: downcast and dejected, not because of my coldness, but for
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Speaker 1: something else, something more important. I wondered what the tragedy was.
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Speaker 1: I have pumped him and found out that he had
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Speaker 1: somehow got to know Smerdyakov, who was footman to your
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Speaker 1: late father. It was before his death, of course, and
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Speaker 1: he taught the little fool a silly trick, that is
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Speaker 1: a brutal, nasty trick. He told him to take a
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Speaker 1: piece of bread, to stick a pin in it and
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Speaker 1: throw it to one of those hungry dogs who snap
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Speaker 1: up anything without biting it, and then to watch and
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Speaker 1: see what would happen. So they prepared a piece of
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Speaker 1: bread like that and threw it to Zuchikav, that shaggy dog.
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Speaker 1: There's been such a fuss about the people of the
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Speaker 1: house it belonged to, never fed it at all, though
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Speaker 1: it barked all day. Do you'll like that stupid barking
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Speaker 1: karamts up? I can't stand it. So it rushed at
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Speaker 1: the bread, swallowed it and began to squeal. It turned
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Speaker 1: round and round and ran away, squealing as it ran
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Speaker 1: out of sight. That was Ilucia's own account of it.
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Speaker 1: He confessed it to me and cried bitterly. He hugged me,
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Speaker 1: shaking all over. He kept on repeating. He ran away, squealing.
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Speaker 1: The sight of that haunted and he was tormented by remorse.
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Speaker 1: I could see that I took it seriously. I determined
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Speaker 1: to give him a lesson for other things as well.
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Speaker 1: So I must confess I wasn't quite straightforward and pretended
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Speaker 1: to be more indignant perhaps than I was. You've done
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Speaker 1: a nasty thing, I said, you are a scoundrel. I
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Speaker 1: won't tell of it, of course, but I shall have
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Speaker 1: nothing more to do with you for a time. I'll
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Speaker 1: think it over and let you know through Smearra. That's
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Speaker 1: the boy who's just come with me. He's always ready
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Speaker 1: to do anything for me, whether I will have anything
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Speaker 1: to do with you in the future, or whether I
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Speaker 1: give you up for good as a scoundrel. He was
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Speaker 1: tremendously upset. I must own I felt I'd gone too
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Speaker 1: far as I spoke, but there was no help for it.
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Speaker 1: I did what I thought best at the time. A
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Speaker 1: day or two after, I sent Smurov to tell him
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Speaker 1: that I would not speak to him again. That's what
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Speaker 1: we call it when two schoolfellows refused to have anything
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Speaker 1: more to do with one another. A secretly, I only
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Speaker 1: meant to send him to Coventry for a few days,
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Speaker 1: and then if I saw signs of repentance to hold
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Speaker 1: out my hand to him again. That was my intention.
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Speaker 1: But what do you think happened? He heard Smurov's message,
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Speaker 1: his eyes flashed, tell crassotkin from me. He cried that
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Speaker 1: I will throw bread with pens to all the dogs,
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Speaker 1: all all of them. So he's going in for a
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Speaker 1: little temper, we might. I smoke it out of him,
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Speaker 1: and I began to treat him with contempt. Whenever I
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Speaker 1: met him, I turned to work or smiled sarcastically. And
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Speaker 1: just then that affair with his father happened. You remember,
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Speaker 1: you must realize that he was fearfully worked up by
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Speaker 1: what had happened. Already, the boys, seeing I'd given him up,
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Speaker 1: sat on him and taunted him, shouting, whispered Tao, whispered Tau.
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Speaker 1: And he had soon regular skirmishes with them, which I
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Speaker 1: am very sorry for. They seemed to have given him
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Speaker 1: one very bad beating. One day he flew at them
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Speaker 1: all as they were coming out of school. I stood
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Speaker 1: a few yards off looking on, and I swear I
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Speaker 1: don't remember that I laughed. It was quite the other way.
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Speaker 1: I felt awfully sorry for him. In another minute I
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Speaker 1: would have run up to take his part, but he
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Speaker 1: suddenly met my eyes. I don't know what he fancied,
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Speaker 1: but he pulled out a penknife, rushed at me, and
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Speaker 1: struck at my thigh here in my right leg. I
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Speaker 1: didn't move. I don't mind owning. I am plucky sometimes karamatself.
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Speaker 1: I simply looked at him contemptuously, as though to say,
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Speaker 1: this is how you repay or my kindness. Do it
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Speaker 1: again if you like, I'm at your service. But he
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Speaker 1: didn't stab me again. He broke down. He was frightened
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Speaker 1: at what he had done. He threw away the knife,
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Speaker 1: burst out crying, and ran away. I did not sneak
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Speaker 1: on him, of course, and I made them all keep
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Speaker 1: quiet so it shouldn't come to the ears of the masters.
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Speaker 1: I didn't even tell my mother to lit it. Healed
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Speaker 1: up and the wound was a mere scratch. And then
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Speaker 1: I heard that the same day he'd been throwing stones
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Speaker 1: and had bitten your finger. But you understand now what
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Speaker 1: a state he was in. Well, it can't be helped.
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Speaker 1: It was stupid of me not to come and forgive him,
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Speaker 1: that is, to make it up with him when he
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Speaker 1: was taken home. I am sorry for were it now,
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Speaker 1: But I had a special reason. So now I've told
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Speaker 1: you all about it. But I'm afraid it was stupid
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Speaker 1: of me. Oh what a pity, exclaimed Alyosha, with feeling
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Speaker 1: that I didn't know before what terms you were on
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Speaker 1: with him, or i'd have come to you long ago
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Speaker 1: to beg you to go to him with me. Would
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Speaker 1: you believe it? When he was feverish he talked about
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Speaker 1: you in delirium, I didn't know how much you were
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Speaker 1: to him. And you've really not succeeded in finding that dog.
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Speaker 1: His father and the boys have been hunting all over
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Speaker 1: the town for it. Would you believe it? Since he's
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Speaker 1: been ill, I've three times heard him repeat with tears,
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Speaker 1: it's because I killed Zhutchka father that I am ill.
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Speaker 1: Now God is punishing me for it. He can't get
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Speaker 1: that idea out of his head. And if the dog
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Speaker 1: were found and proved to be alive, one might almost
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Speaker 1: fancy the joy would cure him. We have all rested
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Speaker 1: our hopes on you. Tell me what made you hope
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Speaker 1: that I should be the one to find him? Collier asked,
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Speaker 1: with great curiosity, why did you reckon on me rather
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Speaker 1: than on any one else? There was a report that
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Speaker 1: you were looking for the dog, and that you would
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Speaker 1: bring it when you'd found it. A Smeerrov said something
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Speaker 1: of the sort. We've all been trying to persuade Ilusha
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Speaker 1: that the dog is alive, that it's been seen. The
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Speaker 1: boys brought him a life here. He just looked at
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Speaker 1: it with a faint smile and asked them to set
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Speaker 1: it free in the fields, and so we did. His
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Speaker 1: father has just this moment come back, bringing him a
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Speaker 1: mastif pup, hoping to comfort him with that. But I
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Speaker 1: think it only makes it worse. Tell me, Karamazov, what
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Speaker 1: sort of man is the father? I know him, but
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Speaker 1: what do you make of him? A mantebank, a buffoon?
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Speaker 1: Oh no, there are people of deep feeling who've been
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Speaker 1: somehow crushed. Buffoonery in them is a former resentful irony
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Speaker 1: against those to whom they darn't speak the truth, from
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Speaker 1: having been for years humiliated and intimidated by them. Believe me, Krazotkin,
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Speaker 1: that sort of buffoonery is sometimes tragic in the extreme.
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Speaker 1: His whole life now is centered in Ilusha, and if
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Speaker 1: Ilusha dies, he will either go mad with grief or
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Speaker 1: kill himself. I feel almost certain of that when I
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Speaker 1: look at him, now I understand you, Karamatzov. I see
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Speaker 1: you understand human nature, Collier added, with feeling. And as
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Speaker 1: soon as I saw you with a dog, I thought
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Speaker 1: it was Zuchka you were bringing. Wait a bit, karamatzop.
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Speaker 1: Perhaps we shall find it yet, but this is Paratzwan.
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Speaker 1: I'll let him go in now, and perhaps it will
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Speaker 1: amuse Ilusha more than the master pup. I wait a bit, Karamatzov.
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Speaker 1: You will know something in a minute. But I say
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Speaker 1: I'm keeping you here. Colia cried, Suddenly you've no overcoat
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Speaker 1: on in this bitter cold. You see what an egoist
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Speaker 1: I am. Oh, we are all egoists, caramatz up. Don't trouble.
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Speaker 1: It is cold, but I don't often catch cold. Let
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Speaker 1: us go in, though, And by the way, what is
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Speaker 1: your name? I know you are called cod, but what
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Speaker 1: else in nikola In Nikolay Ivanovitch, Krazotkin, or as they say,
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Speaker 1: inofficial documents, a Krazotkin son Karlolov for some reason, But
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Speaker 1: added suddenly, of course I hate my name Nikolay. Why
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Speaker 1: so it's a trivial so ordinary? You are thirteen, asked Alyosha.
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Speaker 1: No fourteen. That is, I shall be fourteen very soon.
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Speaker 1: In a fortnight. I'll confess one weakness of mine karamtself,
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Speaker 1: just to you, since it's our first meeting, so that
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Speaker 1: you may understand my character at once. I hate being
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Speaker 1: asked my age more than that. And in fact, there's
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Speaker 1: a libelers story going about me that last week I
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Speaker 1: played robbers with the preparatory boys. It's a fact that
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Speaker 1: I did play with them, but it's a perfect libel
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Speaker 1: to say I did it for my own amusement. I
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Speaker 1: have reasons for believing that you've heard the story. But
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Speaker 1: I wasn't playing for my own amusement. It was for
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Speaker 1: the sake of the children, because they couldn't think of
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Speaker 1: anything to do by themselves. But they've always got some
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Speaker 1: silly tale. This is an awful town for gossip, I
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Speaker 1: can tell you. But what if you had been playing
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Speaker 1: for your own amusement? What's the harm? Come? I say,
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Speaker 1: for my own amusement? You don't play horses, do you?
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Speaker 1: But you must look at it like this, said Alyosha, smiling.
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Speaker 1: Grown up people go to the theater and there the
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Speaker 1: adventures of all sorts of heroes are represented. Sometimes there
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Speaker 1: are robbers and battles too, And isn't that just the
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Speaker 1: same thing in a different form, of course, And young
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Speaker 1: people's games of soldiers or robbers in their playtime are
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Speaker 1: also art in its first stage, you know, they spring
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Speaker 1: from the growing artistic instincts of the young. And sometimes
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Speaker 1: these games are much better than performances in the theater.
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Speaker 1: The only differences that people go there to look at
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Speaker 1: the actors, while in these games the young people are
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Speaker 1: the actors themselves. But that's only natural, you think, so
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Speaker 1: is that your idea? Colyer looked at him intently. Oh,
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Speaker 1: you know, that's rather an interesting view. When I go home,
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Speaker 1: i'll think it over. I'll admit I thought I might
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Speaker 1: learn something from you. I've come to learn of you, Karamatzov,
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Speaker 1: Colia concluded, in a voice full of spontaneous feeling. And
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Speaker 1: I of you, said Alyosha, smiling and pressing his hand.
19:32
Speaker 1: Kolia was much pleased with Alyosha. What struck him most
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Speaker 1: was that he treated him exactly like an equal, and
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Speaker 1: that he took to him just as if he were
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Speaker 1: quite grown up. I'll show you something directly, Karamatzov. It's
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Speaker 1: a theatrical performance too, he said, laughing nervously. That's why
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Speaker 1: I've come. Let us go first to the people of
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Speaker 1: the house on the left. All the boys leave their
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Speaker 1: coats in there, because the room is small and hot. Oh,
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Speaker 1: I'm only coming in for a minute. I'll keep on
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Speaker 1: my overcoat. Perret's Vaughan will stay here in the passage
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Speaker 1: and be dead. He see Ferret's Vaughan lie down and
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Speaker 1: be dead. You see how he's dead. I'll go in
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Speaker 1: first and explore. Then i'll whistle to him when I
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Speaker 1: think fit, and you'll see he'll dash in like mad
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Speaker 1: Hoy's Muru must not forget to open the door at
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Speaker 1: the moment. I'll arrange it all, and she'll see something.
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Speaker 1: And of Chapter sixty seven